1 00:00:05,713 --> 00:00:09,133 You're about to learn the tragic fate of the Oak Point High lacrosse team. 2 00:00:09,216 --> 00:00:11,427 But this podcast won't cash in on their specific 3 00:00:11,510 --> 00:00:14,388 and particularly gruesome group decapitation. 4 00:00:14,471 --> 00:00:15,639 Too bad. Someone else will. 5 00:00:15,723 --> 00:00:16,932 It's a big market, man. 6 00:00:17,015 --> 00:00:19,768 Morty, don't just respond. Find a podcast without scruples. 7 00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:21,437 Cryo-ship detected. 8 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,188 Ooh, power's still online? 9 00:00:23,272 --> 00:00:25,566 What do you think, Morty? Bunch of sleeping beauties? 10 00:00:25,649 --> 00:00:26,817 Wanna go tap on some glass? 11 00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:28,110 That could be fun. 12 00:00:28,193 --> 00:00:29,862 We haven't done one of those in a while. 13 00:00:29,945 --> 00:00:31,113 Welcome to Bloodbath! 14 00:00:31,196 --> 00:00:33,365 The podcast that's only grisly details! 15 00:00:33,449 --> 00:00:34,700 Now we're talkin'! 16 00:00:41,582 --> 00:00:44,042 Holy shit. Look at this place. 17 00:00:44,126 --> 00:00:46,754 Damn, Morty, ain't just your run-of-the-mill ark ship. 18 00:00:46,837 --> 00:00:48,088 This thing is gold-plated. 19 00:00:48,213 --> 00:00:50,048 Wow, where do you think they're going? 20 00:00:51,091 --> 00:00:52,885 Looks like these guys flung themselves into space 21 00:00:52,968 --> 00:00:54,344 after wrecking their home world. 22 00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:56,180 This'll be like taking candy from a baby, 23 00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:57,598 if that baby was in a coma. 24 00:00:57,681 --> 00:00:59,767 Oh. We're robbing them? 25 00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:02,394 Morty, what did I just say about scruples? 26 00:01:02,478 --> 00:01:04,730 Whoa, mama. You see this, Morty? 27 00:01:04,813 --> 00:01:06,482 This thing is fancy. 28 00:01:06,565 --> 00:01:09,109 Computer said it's got super-rare hypercoal inside. 29 00:01:09,693 --> 00:01:11,612 The planet they left must be a husk, Morty. 30 00:01:11,695 --> 00:01:13,280 Access denied. 31 00:01:15,783 --> 00:01:16,825 Alright, on second thought, 32 00:01:16,909 --> 00:01:18,494 let's just blow a hole in the ship and drag the vault home. 33 00:01:18,577 --> 00:01:19,787 - What? - Help me with these charges. 34 00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:21,455 This'll be quick. They got fast countdowns. 35 00:01:21,538 --> 00:01:23,373 Rick, I'm fine with taking candy from a baby, 36 00:01:23,457 --> 00:01:25,876 but I draw the line at blowing up the stroller! 37 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,420 What the hell, Morty? We're not literally robbing babies. 38 00:01:30,005 --> 00:01:31,632 God damn it, Morty! Look what you did! 39 00:01:31,715 --> 00:01:33,258 They're counting down even faster. 40 00:01:35,093 --> 00:01:36,428 Fire detected. 41 00:01:36,512 --> 00:01:38,514 Emergency cryo-wake commencing in 30 seconds. 42 00:01:38,597 --> 00:01:40,265 You little shit! You woke 'em up! 43 00:01:40,349 --> 00:01:41,975 - Good! Let's get outta here! - Fuck you. 44 00:01:42,059 --> 00:01:44,019 I'm not leaving without that hypercoal! 45 00:01:44,978 --> 00:01:46,897 Now go find that other pod with a dead guy in it. 46 00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:49,358 - Hey! What dead guy? - Sub-Bay 18. 47 00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:50,776 Just get in the pod with the bones! 48 00:01:50,859 --> 00:01:52,694 Or don't, and get thrown out an airlock. 49 00:01:52,778 --> 00:01:54,488 - Cryo-wake in 10 seconds. - You did this to yourself. 50 00:01:54,571 --> 00:01:56,740 Everything that happens after this is your fault. 51 00:01:56,824 --> 00:01:58,534 You're gonna wish you were one of those Oak Point kids 52 00:01:58,617 --> 00:02:00,035 - after I get through with you. - I'm going! 53 00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:01,161 Don't you run away from me! 54 00:02:01,245 --> 00:02:03,580 I've got more to yell at you, Morty! Morty! 55 00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:39,324 - Cryo-wake in three, two… - Shit, shit, shit. 56 00:02:46,999 --> 00:02:50,043 Oh, boy. Talk about a cryo-crick in the neck. 57 00:02:50,127 --> 00:02:52,004 Hope my schwanz still works. 58 00:02:53,755 --> 00:02:55,257 What's a schwanz? 59 00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:57,759 - Jimmy? - Oh my God! Jimmy? Is that you? 60 00:02:57,843 --> 00:02:59,011 Um, no? 61 00:02:59,094 --> 00:03:00,262 It's our boy, honey. 62 00:03:00,345 --> 00:03:01,722 He's got the family bald spot. 63 00:03:01,805 --> 00:03:03,557 Doctor! Doctor, please! 64 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:04,725 Ah, Karen. How can I… 65 00:03:04,808 --> 00:03:06,393 Oh my God! 66 00:03:06,476 --> 00:03:09,313 The pod. There must have been some kind of… malfunction. 67 00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:11,148 Son? Are you in there? 68 00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:12,482 What do you remember? 69 00:03:13,191 --> 00:03:15,944 Last thing I remember was being…13. 70 00:03:16,028 --> 00:03:17,195 - Eleven. - Eleven. 71 00:03:17,279 --> 00:03:19,281 It must be the pituitary governor on his pod. 72 00:03:19,364 --> 00:03:20,365 While we were in stasis, 73 00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:22,284 Jimmy kept growing at an accelerated rate. 74 00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:23,535 Will he be okay? 75 00:03:23,619 --> 00:03:26,622 Short answer, no. Long answer, nope. 76 00:03:26,705 --> 00:03:27,748 Doctor! 77 00:03:27,831 --> 00:03:29,958 I went to school for medicine, not manners. 78 00:03:30,042 --> 00:03:33,086 Look at him… gray skin, necrotic breath, jaundiced eyes. 79 00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:34,630 I give him a week, tops. 80 00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:36,673 Our poor child! 81 00:03:36,757 --> 00:03:39,927 We're gonna use whatever time we have left to make things right. 82 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:41,553 Should I get him some clothes? 83 00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:43,013 His penis is big now. 84 00:03:46,058 --> 00:03:49,019 Ugh. Wish that pod had a snooze button. 85 00:03:49,102 --> 00:03:50,979 Alright, Makeys, let's get to work! 86 00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:53,607 Um, aren't we all, like, super rich? 87 00:03:55,317 --> 00:03:57,903 Only thing "rich" down here is that joke. 88 00:03:57,986 --> 00:04:00,656 "Chachaco"… you're on toilet duty. 89 00:04:00,739 --> 00:04:03,325 Okay, I'm not supposed to be here. 90 00:04:03,408 --> 00:04:05,035 My grandpa's a scientist. 91 00:04:05,118 --> 00:04:07,120 - I just jumped in this pod because… - What? 92 00:04:07,204 --> 00:04:09,831 MedBay! Got another compliance chip on the fritz. 93 00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:12,876 Why do I have to mop? I should be driving the ship! 94 00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:17,839 Jokin' again! 95 00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,925 I'm definitely the thing you guys are. 96 00:04:20,008 --> 00:04:21,593 Ready to clean! 97 00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:25,973 Jimmy! There you are! 98 00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:27,432 We've been looking for you. 99 00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:29,059 Are you trying to open the vault? 100 00:04:29,142 --> 00:04:31,561 I thought maybe you were stuck in there. 101 00:04:31,645 --> 00:04:33,397 I'm just a kid and… dumb. 102 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,648 That's alright, sweetie. 103 00:04:34,731 --> 00:04:37,067 Money affords us the ability to be dumb. 104 00:04:37,150 --> 00:04:38,610 Son, it's important to us 105 00:04:38,694 --> 00:04:41,863 that you're recognized as a man in the eyes of God… 106 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:44,074 before you die, which feels soon. 107 00:04:44,157 --> 00:04:45,575 So, tomorrow night, 108 00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:48,787 we're holding your Constellatio Celebratio! 109 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,706 Pretty sure God already made me a man. 110 00:04:50,789 --> 00:04:52,165 Like, very rapidly. 111 00:04:52,249 --> 00:04:54,501 But he didn't make you a citizen. 112 00:04:54,584 --> 00:04:55,585 This will. 113 00:04:55,669 --> 00:04:57,879 And once you join our society, 114 00:04:57,963 --> 00:05:00,173 you'll get access to our knowledge, 115 00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:02,009 - our history… - Our hypercoal? 116 00:05:02,092 --> 00:05:03,135 Well, sure. 117 00:05:03,218 --> 00:05:05,387 You'd get a key to the vault like every citizen. 118 00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:07,597 You see, son, we're very, very rich. 119 00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,725 Wow. Okay, yeah. Let's… 120 00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:12,477 Let's Constellatio this up. I'm in! 121 00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:14,813 - Ah, that's the spirit! - Come on, son. 122 00:05:14,896 --> 00:05:16,398 Let's get you a big lollipop 123 00:05:16,481 --> 00:05:18,108 and dress you like a little sailor. 124 00:05:19,359 --> 00:05:21,028 Ugh! How much shit is there? 125 00:05:21,111 --> 00:05:23,071 They've only been awake for five hours. 126 00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:24,990 Grub time, Chachaco! 127 00:05:25,073 --> 00:05:27,325 - Hurry. We only got eight minutes. - Great. 128 00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:31,079 Man, cryo-sleep, huh? 129 00:05:31,163 --> 00:05:33,206 Guess I forgot how bad the food was. 130 00:05:33,290 --> 00:05:35,250 Yeah, wish I could forget. 131 00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:36,918 Tastes like lumpy piss. 132 00:05:37,627 --> 00:05:38,754 Which I love! 133 00:05:38,837 --> 00:05:40,922 Love piss. Look at me eat it up. 134 00:05:41,006 --> 00:05:43,216 This gruel, it's got energy, lumps, 135 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,968 all the things a Makey needs. 136 00:05:45,844 --> 00:05:47,679 Why do we call ourselves that again? 137 00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:50,390 Wow, cryo really took it outta you, huh? 138 00:05:50,474 --> 00:05:51,933 They gave us that term. 139 00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:54,728 'Cause we "make" it all possible. 140 00:05:54,811 --> 00:05:56,396 If we're Makeys, 141 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,648 maybe that makes them "Takeys." 142 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,485 Did you not just get complio-shocked? 143 00:06:01,568 --> 00:06:02,652 Oh… yeah. 144 00:06:02,736 --> 00:06:05,030 You learn to take the pain. 145 00:06:05,113 --> 00:06:06,364 - Whoa! - Bad-ass! 146 00:06:06,448 --> 00:06:08,658 Chachaco's hardcore. 147 00:06:10,869 --> 00:06:12,829 Rick? Where the hell have you been? 148 00:06:12,913 --> 00:06:15,540 Morty! Great news. It's all going as planned. 149 00:06:15,624 --> 00:06:17,542 - We didn't have a plan! - We do now. 150 00:06:17,626 --> 00:06:20,170 These people, Morty, they're golden retrievers. 151 00:06:20,253 --> 00:06:21,379 No natural predators, 152 00:06:21,505 --> 00:06:23,090 totally softened by generational wealth. 153 00:06:23,173 --> 00:06:24,674 Tomorrow they're throwing me some kind of 154 00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:26,927 "becoming a man" thing and just giving me the hypercoal. 155 00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:28,804 Who cares? Get me outta here! 156 00:06:28,887 --> 00:06:30,806 I'm literally scooping shit by hand! 157 00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,641 Good. You made your bed, lay in it. 158 00:06:32,724 --> 00:06:34,434 - Gimme the car keys! - No! We're not leaving! 159 00:06:34,518 --> 00:06:35,685 Yes, we are, you greedy shit! 160 00:06:35,769 --> 00:06:39,564 Damn! Chachaco's giving that old rich kid a piece of his mind! 161 00:06:40,357 --> 00:06:41,817 Give them to me, you Takey scum! 162 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,443 Hey! Leave our son alone! 163 00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:45,112 Your son sucks! 164 00:06:45,195 --> 00:06:47,280 Chachaco, are you crazy? 165 00:06:47,364 --> 00:06:50,283 Get back here! We'll be speaking to your manager! 166 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:52,953 No, no. It's fine. Just jealous poor people. 167 00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:54,621 Ungrateful monsters! 168 00:06:54,704 --> 00:06:56,039 Impatient, too! 169 00:06:57,374 --> 00:06:59,209 Holy shit. Are you crazy? 170 00:06:59,292 --> 00:07:00,544 We're all gonna get it now! 171 00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:02,337 What the hell got into you, Chachaco? 172 00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,005 He's an asshole! 173 00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:05,298 Okay, seriously. 174 00:07:05,382 --> 00:07:06,633 How are you not getting zapped? 175 00:07:06,716 --> 00:07:09,094 - Ow! Hey! - Something's up with his chip. 176 00:07:09,177 --> 00:07:10,679 He don't got one! 177 00:07:10,762 --> 00:07:12,556 - No chip? - I took it out. 178 00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:14,683 They said taking the chips out would kill us. 179 00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:16,643 Chachaco is living proof it won't. 180 00:07:16,726 --> 00:07:18,145 Wait! Stop! 181 00:07:19,896 --> 00:07:22,274 Chachaco killed Tibs! 182 00:07:22,357 --> 00:07:23,483 Should we tell someone? 183 00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:24,860 Listen, I'm not who you… 184 00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:30,407 Chachaco, you're an idiot. 185 00:07:31,116 --> 00:07:33,118 And a goddamn hero! 186 00:07:33,201 --> 00:07:34,494 Thanks? 187 00:07:34,578 --> 00:07:36,204 Tell the Makeys to gather. 188 00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:39,416 It's time to show the Takeys who really runs this ship. 189 00:07:39,499 --> 00:07:42,252 And after you finish sipping from the final chalice, 190 00:07:42,335 --> 00:07:45,338 the sacred light will shine down upon you. 191 00:07:45,422 --> 00:07:48,592 You've grown so much. We are so proud of you. 192 00:07:48,675 --> 00:07:51,303 Jimmy, I used to dread giving this to you. 193 00:07:51,386 --> 00:07:54,264 It's the most precious thing in our family, 194 00:07:54,347 --> 00:07:56,016 and frankly you were a brat. 195 00:07:56,099 --> 00:07:58,435 But there's nothing like a fluke cryopod accident 196 00:07:58,518 --> 00:08:01,062 to show you what really matters. 197 00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:03,690 It's your father's Constellatio suit, 198 00:08:03,773 --> 00:08:06,902 from his father, and his father before him. 199 00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:09,070 Oh, that's not necessary. 200 00:08:09,154 --> 00:08:10,864 I'm still a brat. 201 00:08:11,615 --> 00:08:14,659 I'm just glad we're getting to do this. 202 00:08:14,743 --> 00:08:16,203 We love you, son. 203 00:08:16,286 --> 00:08:17,579 We love you. 204 00:08:18,246 --> 00:08:21,124 Yeah. Love you guys, too. 205 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:24,002 You've never said that before. Honey, he loves us! 206 00:08:24,085 --> 00:08:26,546 I'm so glad you said it before you die of old age! 207 00:08:26,671 --> 00:08:27,797 My boy! 208 00:08:27,881 --> 00:08:29,674 Oh, Jimmy! 209 00:08:36,056 --> 00:08:37,933 Fresh planet, fresh start. 210 00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:39,935 Fresh planet, fresh start. 211 00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:41,770 - We have a slogan now? - Catchy, huh? 212 00:08:41,853 --> 00:08:43,730 Tibs is looking for ya. Great cover, by the way, 213 00:08:43,813 --> 00:08:45,523 acting like nothing's happening. 214 00:08:48,693 --> 00:08:50,862 - General Chachaco! - General? 215 00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:52,614 Fresh planet, fresh start! 216 00:08:52,697 --> 00:08:55,617 You taught us the only way to beat those rich bastards 217 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,577 is to actually beat them. 218 00:08:57,661 --> 00:09:00,247 Check out this. It's a Bang-Bang. 219 00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:02,499 To bang people's heads in. My invention. 220 00:09:02,582 --> 00:09:05,418 Yeah. Maybe we put a pin in the Bang-Bang 221 00:09:05,502 --> 00:09:07,587 and peacefully ask for some change-change? 222 00:09:07,671 --> 00:09:09,923 What am I saying? They put chips in your heads. 223 00:09:10,006 --> 00:09:12,884 Phew. For a second, you sounded like Spoogler. 224 00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:15,136 Yeah, where is Spoogler? 225 00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:16,263 Oh my God! 226 00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:19,307 Spoogler's out there waiting to hear both sides of the issue. 227 00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,685 Meanwhile, we're gonna take out the Takeys. 228 00:09:21,768 --> 00:09:23,353 Ah, geez, I don't know. 229 00:09:23,436 --> 00:09:25,814 We got that old kid's party tomorrow… 230 00:09:25,897 --> 00:09:28,775 That's brilliant, General! Attack during the party. 231 00:09:28,858 --> 00:09:29,985 Not quite what I was pitching. 232 00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:33,196 Those Takeys are gonna regret the day they messed with you! 233 00:09:33,822 --> 00:09:35,532 We got a hand thing now? 234 00:09:35,615 --> 00:09:37,158 For the resistance. 235 00:09:37,242 --> 00:09:40,120 This feels too long for a secret handshake. 236 00:09:41,329 --> 00:09:42,998 Constellatio! 237 00:09:44,207 --> 00:09:46,293 The crew is so proud of you, Jimmy. 238 00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:49,671 You've really taken your grossly shortened lifespan in stride. 239 00:09:49,754 --> 00:09:52,007 I couldn't think of two better parents to die before. 240 00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:53,883 - Get over here, ya goofball! - Hey, my hair! 241 00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:55,719 I just put gel in! 242 00:10:04,769 --> 00:10:05,937 Ah, geez. 243 00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:08,023 Father, we gotta delay the ceremony. 244 00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:09,941 Something bad is going to happen. 245 00:10:10,025 --> 00:10:11,192 I sure hope so. 246 00:10:11,276 --> 00:10:13,778 Great idea to stick pins in the Bang-Bangs. 247 00:10:15,405 --> 00:10:16,948 People of Plociff, 248 00:10:17,032 --> 00:10:19,993 tonight young James Jamerson ascends to manhood. 249 00:10:20,076 --> 00:10:22,078 Hell yeah! Gonna be a man! 250 00:10:23,079 --> 00:10:24,789 Rick, we really gotta go now. 251 00:10:24,873 --> 00:10:26,541 Don't ruin this for these people. 252 00:10:26,624 --> 00:10:30,879 Party people! Let's hit those chalices! 253 00:10:30,962 --> 00:10:31,963 We love it, son! 254 00:10:32,047 --> 00:10:33,048 Proud of you! 255 00:10:35,216 --> 00:10:37,719 Alright, Father. Gimme the light. I'll take it from here. 256 00:10:37,802 --> 00:10:39,846 How 'bout you take this in your Takey neck? 257 00:10:39,929 --> 00:10:41,306 - Watch out! - Whoa! 258 00:10:41,389 --> 00:10:42,682 Going off script, padre. 259 00:10:42,766 --> 00:10:44,434 Party's over, Takeys! 260 00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:45,769 Why isn't she complying? 261 00:10:45,852 --> 00:10:47,437 It's not working! 262 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,938 Fresh planet, fresh start! 263 00:10:53,902 --> 00:10:55,362 - Bang-Bang! - Wait! 264 00:10:55,445 --> 00:10:57,405 You can't attack them! They're helpless. 265 00:10:57,489 --> 00:10:59,908 They don't even know that food comes from somewhere. 266 00:11:01,826 --> 00:11:04,496 We gotta get to someplace safe. Like the vault. 267 00:11:04,579 --> 00:11:06,623 - Gimme that! - You got it, boss! 268 00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:09,834 My bad. 269 00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:11,294 Morty. Change of plans. 270 00:11:11,378 --> 00:11:13,338 Take me to the vault! Now! 271 00:11:13,463 --> 00:11:15,924 - Please don't hurt our boy! - Just do what he says. 272 00:11:16,007 --> 00:11:18,009 But if this deranged janitor kidnaps me 273 00:11:18,093 --> 00:11:19,677 and steals everything from this vault, 274 00:11:19,761 --> 00:11:22,472 just know you two were great parents. 275 00:11:22,555 --> 00:11:25,600 Really unreasonably trusting. Maybe too trusting. 276 00:11:25,683 --> 00:11:27,185 Honey, what are you talking about? 277 00:11:27,268 --> 00:11:29,187 Open that safe, or you're worm food! 278 00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:34,609 Greetings, Doug Jamerson. 279 00:11:34,692 --> 00:11:36,152 Thank you for being rich. 280 00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:43,243 Jesus, Morty! 281 00:11:43,326 --> 00:11:45,578 Doug and Karen's only crime is naively benefiting 282 00:11:45,662 --> 00:11:46,871 from systemic inequity. 283 00:11:46,955 --> 00:11:48,832 Just grab the loot, you big baby! 284 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,042 Interesting. 285 00:11:51,084 --> 00:11:53,336 Wait, what? You gotta be kidding me! 286 00:11:54,045 --> 00:11:55,255 They robbed us! 287 00:11:55,338 --> 00:11:57,090 The rich kid and the janitor 288 00:11:57,173 --> 00:11:59,467 put aside their differences to fuck us over! 289 00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:01,302 Let's follow their example. 290 00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:02,512 Mob justice! 291 00:12:02,595 --> 00:12:04,180 - Yeah! - Yeah! 292 00:12:04,722 --> 00:12:06,724 - Hold on a second! - We can explain! 293 00:12:06,808 --> 00:12:09,018 - Where's our money? - Where's our money? 294 00:12:09,102 --> 00:12:10,603 We told you, we don't know. 295 00:12:10,687 --> 00:12:13,773 You manipulated a working class to rise against a ruling class. 296 00:12:13,857 --> 00:12:15,900 I was right, Chachaco. You are funny, 297 00:12:15,984 --> 00:12:17,402 but not in the "ha ha" way. 298 00:12:17,485 --> 00:12:20,280 In the bad way, like, "Is my dog sitting like that 299 00:12:20,363 --> 00:12:22,031 because he's watching TV with us 300 00:12:22,115 --> 00:12:24,451 or is he 'expressing his anal glands'" funny. 301 00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:25,869 Oof. Long walk. 302 00:12:25,952 --> 00:12:28,621 Under the Laws of Space, I sentence you to death. 303 00:12:28,705 --> 00:12:30,665 Wait! Jimmy couldn't have done this! 304 00:12:30,748 --> 00:12:33,084 I opened the safe and it was empty. 305 00:12:33,168 --> 00:12:34,169 Sorry, Doug. 306 00:12:34,252 --> 00:12:35,879 We checked the vault's log, and the last person 307 00:12:35,962 --> 00:12:38,756 to access it was, in fact, Jimmy Jamerson. 308 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,927 That's not possible. Jimmy Jamerson is dead. 309 00:12:43,011 --> 00:12:44,053 What? 310 00:12:45,388 --> 00:12:47,265 I don't understand. 311 00:12:47,348 --> 00:12:50,143 Karen, let me make this as gentle as I can. We're aliens. 312 00:12:50,226 --> 00:12:52,228 Come on, let's go see your dead son's bones. 313 00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:54,939 Bones? 314 00:12:55,648 --> 00:12:58,193 Oh, shit. Monkey bones. Was Jimmy a monkey? 315 00:12:58,276 --> 00:13:00,528 Lizzy! No! I thought you escaped! 316 00:13:00,612 --> 00:13:02,280 What the hell is going on? 317 00:13:02,363 --> 00:13:03,406 I'm a zoologist. 318 00:13:03,490 --> 00:13:04,491 Not you! 319 00:13:07,535 --> 00:13:10,788 - Jimmy? - And apparently, Guffy Chachaco. 320 00:13:10,872 --> 00:13:12,540 They thought I was that guy? 321 00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:15,793 These two hacked the vault 30 minutes after you all started hypersleep. 322 00:13:15,919 --> 00:13:17,879 So Jimmy's still alive? 323 00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:20,089 Fuck him! Where the hell is our money? 324 00:13:20,173 --> 00:13:22,217 They bought a yacht. It's on Blackjack 9. 325 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,426 They weren't very discreet. 326 00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:24,636 Why would they be? 327 00:13:24,719 --> 00:13:26,888 They thought you'd be asleep for the next 200 years. 328 00:13:26,971 --> 00:13:28,223 Little asshole. 329 00:13:28,306 --> 00:13:30,099 When you woke up, we thought Jimmy'd grown 330 00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:32,143 into a thoughtful, kind man. 331 00:13:32,227 --> 00:13:33,853 - We were so happy. - This guy? 332 00:13:33,937 --> 00:13:37,106 They were nice, so I was nice back. Try it sometime, Morty. 333 00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:39,275 Sorry to be the "money" guy, 334 00:13:39,359 --> 00:13:41,027 but our cash is on a casino planet 335 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:42,695 and we're all just standing here? 336 00:13:43,738 --> 00:13:45,198 Wait! Wait! 337 00:13:45,281 --> 00:13:47,367 All that money did is tear you apart. 338 00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:50,703 From your friends, your neighbors, even your old home. 339 00:13:50,787 --> 00:13:53,665 But now you can go to a whole new world as equals. 340 00:13:53,748 --> 00:13:55,124 A place where you can live… 341 00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:56,668 Son of a bitch. They're already gone. 342 00:13:57,627 --> 00:13:59,671 Damn it. I was about to tie it all together. 343 00:13:59,754 --> 00:14:01,548 Space race, Morty! Let's go! 344 00:14:02,549 --> 00:14:04,342 Gonna pay off med school, baby! 345 00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:07,095 Time of death is now! 346 00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:08,221 Hey! 347 00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:16,479 They're gonna kill each other for that money, Rick! 348 00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:17,939 Why didn't we take your car? 349 00:14:18,022 --> 00:14:20,817 Constellatio gift from a rich uncle. Be rude not to take it. 350 00:14:22,318 --> 00:14:24,404 I never believed in God! 351 00:14:24,487 --> 00:14:26,531 I do believe in God! I do believe in God! 352 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,580 Chachaco, when I met you, 353 00:14:33,663 --> 00:14:35,832 you were scooping hot steamers out of a pipe. 354 00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:37,542 So I saved you. 355 00:14:37,625 --> 00:14:40,795 Now blow some working-class luck on these dice, amigo. 356 00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:43,673 Jimmy! 357 00:14:43,756 --> 00:14:46,259 All the money goes to the 11-year-old and his best friend. 358 00:14:46,342 --> 00:14:48,386 - Yeah! - Hey, turn up the TV. 359 00:14:48,469 --> 00:14:50,346 A massive space race is underway, 360 00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:53,349 apparently chasing down a large fortune of stolen money. 361 00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:55,685 Glizop is live with the story. Glizop? 362 00:14:55,768 --> 00:14:58,313 Tim, I'm here at the scene, where I'm gonna be rich! 363 00:14:58,396 --> 00:14:59,397 I quit! 364 00:15:00,064 --> 00:15:01,107 Snap! 365 00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:03,610 Wish he didn't do that. Those mics are expensive. 366 00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:07,030 In any case, here's a picture of the suspected thieves. 367 00:15:07,905 --> 00:15:09,782 - Oh, shit! Oh, shit! - Oh, man! Oh, God! 368 00:15:12,285 --> 00:15:15,455 Ah, farts! It's my dumb parents! 369 00:15:15,538 --> 00:15:17,915 Punch it, Chachaco! Load up the hypercoal! 370 00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:25,673 Hey! I gotta pay for those! 371 00:15:26,674 --> 00:15:28,134 And soon I can! 372 00:15:30,345 --> 00:15:31,971 Lovely pennies, copper pennies 373 00:15:32,055 --> 00:15:33,848 Little window-shopper pennies 374 00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:36,476 Lincoln-headed pennies Touch them when I'm all alone 375 00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:37,935 Son of a bitch! 376 00:15:38,019 --> 00:15:39,062 You're a terrible doctor! 377 00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:40,396 Tell that to my money! 378 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,481 I will! 379 00:15:41,564 --> 00:15:43,566 Eat my pennies, kiss my pennies 380 00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,526 Give a lil' miss my pennies 381 00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:47,779 If you have a penny, then I'll have you for my own 382 00:15:47,862 --> 00:15:49,614 That money can't bring back Lizzy, 383 00:15:49,697 --> 00:15:53,159 but it can buy another monkey that I will also name Lizzy. 384 00:15:53,242 --> 00:15:54,994 My mouth is full of pennies, pennies 385 00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:58,414 Say it once again 386 00:15:58,498 --> 00:16:01,042 Thank you, New Lizzy. 387 00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:02,877 Tinkly pennies, sweaty pennies 388 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,587 Throw-'em-like-confetti pennies 389 00:16:04,671 --> 00:16:09,258 A hundredth of a dollar is as much as I require 390 00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:10,718 I'm driving the ship! 391 00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:12,136 I'm finally driving the ship! 392 00:16:14,555 --> 00:16:16,057 Rick! 393 00:16:17,725 --> 00:16:19,727 Okay. Think he found a shortcut? 394 00:16:19,811 --> 00:16:21,354 No, he's just nuts. 395 00:16:25,983 --> 00:16:29,696 My favorite part of the job… escalating situations. 396 00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:37,078 Hey! The race hasn't started yet! 397 00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:38,955 Kinda bummed to leave that race behind. 398 00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:40,581 Thought we'd end up winning it by accident. 399 00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,834 Oh! Chicken coop cluster! 400 00:16:42,917 --> 00:16:45,253 It's all coops! Wall-to-wall coops! 401 00:16:48,047 --> 00:16:49,757 Why would you roll the windows down? 402 00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:51,426 I wanted the full experience. 403 00:16:51,509 --> 00:16:53,177 Pennies, pennies, shiny pennies 404 00:16:53,261 --> 00:16:55,138 Have-them-all-for-mine-y pennies 405 00:16:55,221 --> 00:16:57,014 Melt me down for pennies… 406 00:16:57,098 --> 00:16:59,183 You have the right to remain poor! 407 00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:01,060 You have the right to shut up! 408 00:17:01,144 --> 00:17:03,396 - Rick, there's too many of 'em! - Smoke 'em if you got 'em! 409 00:17:03,479 --> 00:17:06,065 Nothing I won't do to get a pocketful of cents 410 00:17:06,149 --> 00:17:07,400 Oh, man! They're on our ass! 411 00:17:07,483 --> 00:17:09,527 I'll eat dirt for pennies 412 00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:13,448 Why is this old dude wearing my Constellatio suit? 413 00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:15,366 You don't deserve Karen and Doug! 414 00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:16,701 Eat a dick! 415 00:17:18,494 --> 00:17:20,288 Blue-collar guys always have an arm. 416 00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:25,084 Oh, I'm gonna be so grounded! 417 00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:27,336 We prepared for this, Jimmy. 418 00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:29,422 Kiss the back of my head. 419 00:17:30,923 --> 00:17:32,383 You little brat! 420 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:33,926 You can't hit me! I'm a kid! 421 00:17:34,802 --> 00:17:36,721 I can't hit you. You're old. 422 00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:41,809 Back! 423 00:17:43,019 --> 00:17:44,437 I'd hold on to something, Rick. 424 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,022 You wouldn't. 425 00:17:51,235 --> 00:17:53,529 - I can reach it! - Leave it, Guffy! 426 00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:54,906 We'll steal more! 427 00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:57,450 No! 428 00:18:01,913 --> 00:18:03,790 God damn it! We were right there! 429 00:18:03,873 --> 00:18:06,667 These people will never stop killing each other for this dumb shit. 430 00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,169 It's over, Rick. 431 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,547 Chachaco, you funny bastard. 432 00:18:11,631 --> 00:18:13,257 All our wealth… 433 00:18:13,341 --> 00:18:14,342 It's gone. 434 00:18:15,718 --> 00:18:17,637 Ah, screw it. I've come this far. 435 00:18:19,263 --> 00:18:21,098 What's that lunatic doing? 436 00:18:21,182 --> 00:18:22,683 Taking our money! 437 00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:40,451 I made it way worse. 438 00:18:41,369 --> 00:18:43,371 - Jimmy! - You're in big trouble, mister! 439 00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:45,164 How could you rob your own parents? 440 00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:49,377 I'm sorry! 441 00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:51,254 I thought it'd be funny if you guys woke up 442 00:18:51,337 --> 00:18:53,214 and thought I turned into a monkey. 443 00:18:53,297 --> 00:18:55,466 - In 200 years? - You're a piece of shit! 444 00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:56,634 You are a piece of shit. 445 00:18:56,717 --> 00:18:58,261 Stay out of this, fake son! 446 00:18:58,344 --> 00:19:01,764 Oh, Jimmy, you're a fuckup. 447 00:19:01,848 --> 00:19:04,100 But we always threw cash at the problem. 448 00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:06,185 Now that we just have these gold bars, 449 00:19:06,269 --> 00:19:07,854 we'll have to throw ourselves. 450 00:19:07,937 --> 00:19:12,066 Dad? I owe money to some bad people. 451 00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:17,154 I set the navigation to a nearby inhabitable planet. 452 00:19:17,238 --> 00:19:19,866 Also gave everyone a compliance chip. 453 00:19:19,949 --> 00:19:21,909 You can finally get that fresh start. 454 00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:24,579 We'll be fine as long as these poor idiots don't… 455 00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:27,290 Not so fun, is it, you Takey? 456 00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:30,710 And if you remove those chips, you will die. 457 00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:33,421 Thanks… Rick, right? 458 00:19:33,504 --> 00:19:36,215 Yeah. Sorry for pretending to be a deformed version 459 00:19:36,299 --> 00:19:37,925 of your dead son and try to rob you. 460 00:19:38,009 --> 00:19:39,260 That's pretty messed up in hindsight. 461 00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:40,761 It's messed up in any sight. 462 00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:42,722 Rick, in only two days, 463 00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:45,016 you were a better son than Jimmy ever was. 464 00:19:45,099 --> 00:19:47,310 - I can hear you! - Shut up, Jimmy! 465 00:19:47,393 --> 00:19:49,228 Yeah, shut your fucking mouth! 466 00:19:49,312 --> 00:19:51,606 Using all our money to pay off your goddamn loan sharks! 467 00:19:51,689 --> 00:19:53,232 You suck, Jimmy! 468 00:19:53,316 --> 00:19:55,902 - Ah, I wish you were never born! - We're putting you up for adoption! 469 00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:57,194 You're a loser! 470 00:19:57,862 --> 00:19:59,864 Welp. The treasure is gone. 471 00:19:59,947 --> 00:20:03,034 And there were massive casualties on both sides. 472 00:20:03,117 --> 00:20:05,077 Still, I think we did good. 473 00:20:05,161 --> 00:20:06,329 Right? 474 00:20:07,705 --> 00:20:09,665 Rick? You okay? 475 00:20:09,749 --> 00:20:11,250 Guess it's true… 476 00:20:11,334 --> 00:20:14,128 You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. 477 00:20:14,211 --> 00:20:15,463 But I am family. 478 00:20:15,546 --> 00:20:17,089 And you did choose me. 479 00:20:17,173 --> 00:20:18,716 Yeah, it's a stupid quote. 480 00:20:18,799 --> 00:20:22,136 Cryo-ship detected. Medical. 481 00:20:23,137 --> 00:20:26,557 They typically have some pretty good drugs in those. 482 00:20:26,641 --> 00:20:28,434 Okay. But five minutes, tops. 483 00:20:28,517 --> 00:20:30,519 And you can't hog all the drugs this time. 484 00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:31,646 Sold! 485 00:21:06,806 --> 00:21:08,349 Five million to call. 486 00:21:08,432 --> 00:21:10,559 New Lizzy, think about this. 487 00:21:10,643 --> 00:21:13,396 That's all our money. We were gonna start a new life. 488 00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:18,067 Ah, Jesus, you dumb fucking monkey. 489 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:20,152 Three of a kind to the lizard man. 490 00:21:20,236 --> 00:21:22,989 And a full house for the monkey! 491 00:21:23,072 --> 00:21:26,033 New Lizzy! Holy fuck, I always knew you could do it. 492 00:21:26,117 --> 00:21:27,493 God, I love you! 493 00:21:29,245 --> 00:21:32,456 It's days like these that remind me why I got into this. 494 00:21:34,083 --> 00:21:35,459 Did you get any of that?