1 00:00:36,163 --> 00:00:37,331 - Clear! - Clear! 2 00:00:59,269 --> 00:01:00,854 Who's ready for Earth World? 3 00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:03,148 Moms, I can't find my cross-body bag! 4 00:01:03,232 --> 00:01:04,566 Where's my cross-body bag? 5 00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:05,901 Stop saying "cross-body bag." 6 00:01:05,984 --> 00:01:07,277 On you, it's a fanny pack up higher. 7 00:01:07,361 --> 00:01:08,445 Space Beth, you're driving. 8 00:01:08,529 --> 00:01:09,697 I'm low on wanting to drive. 9 00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:11,448 Would one of you mind making me a quick sandwich? 10 00:01:11,532 --> 00:01:13,951 You know theme park food gives me interesting stools. 11 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:15,285 Read the room. 12 00:01:15,369 --> 00:01:16,745 We're not going. Look at us. 13 00:01:16,829 --> 00:01:17,955 No, you got to come. 14 00:01:18,038 --> 00:01:19,665 It's an absolute train wreck. 15 00:01:19,748 --> 00:01:22,251 This dude, he's never been to Earth, but he loves it, 16 00:01:22,334 --> 00:01:23,711 and he sucks at making theme parks. 17 00:01:23,794 --> 00:01:26,338 - We said fucking no! - We said fucking no! 18 00:01:26,463 --> 00:01:27,923 Alright. Fine. 19 00:01:28,006 --> 00:01:30,759 But nobody wants to see a Beths adventure. 20 00:01:32,094 --> 00:01:34,930 I thought cloning was supposed to make us happy. 21 00:01:35,013 --> 00:01:36,348 I hate my life. 22 00:01:36,432 --> 00:01:38,726 And I know you have to hate yours. 23 00:01:38,809 --> 00:01:40,352 - Hey! - Sorry. 24 00:01:40,436 --> 00:01:42,229 I started drinking in the car. 25 00:02:16,972 --> 00:02:19,224 Why are we miserable? It's not Jerry. 26 00:02:19,308 --> 00:02:20,768 Yeah, it could be worse. 27 00:02:20,851 --> 00:02:22,811 I mean, we could have married Pep Rosenfeld. 28 00:02:22,895 --> 00:02:25,147 Oh, my God. I forgot about him. 29 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:26,648 Oh, he died in that thing, right? 30 00:02:26,732 --> 00:02:28,025 9-11, yeah. 31 00:02:28,942 --> 00:02:31,069 We can't just put it all on Dad, right? 32 00:02:31,153 --> 00:02:32,154 We're done with that guy. 33 00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:34,281 "I had a bad dad." 34 00:02:34,364 --> 00:02:36,074 Shut up. Write a book about it. 35 00:02:36,158 --> 00:02:38,410 I'm just so tired of all the shit we have to do to live. 36 00:02:38,494 --> 00:02:40,162 You abandoned all your shit. 37 00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:42,915 There is so much more shit in space! 38 00:02:42,998 --> 00:02:45,083 When was the last time we were happy? 39 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:46,668 Truly happy? 40 00:02:46,752 --> 00:02:48,462 Felt pretty good when we were kids. 41 00:02:48,545 --> 00:02:50,839 Oh, my God, I wish I could be young again. 42 00:02:50,923 --> 00:02:53,091 That kind of wish never goes the way you want. 43 00:02:53,592 --> 00:02:55,594 That being said… 44 00:02:57,387 --> 00:02:59,681 Why do you have a de-aging machine? 45 00:02:59,765 --> 00:03:02,100 When I'm bringing in bounties, I change 'em into kids. 46 00:03:02,184 --> 00:03:04,353 This car fits ten kids if you pack 'em right. 47 00:03:04,436 --> 00:03:05,479 Sounds efficient. 48 00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:08,482 Is that… worth dealing with ten kids? 49 00:03:08,565 --> 00:03:09,942 Oh, no, I drug them too. 50 00:03:10,025 --> 00:03:11,902 Wait, will my clothes be super huge or… 51 00:03:11,985 --> 00:03:12,986 Oh, no. No, no, no. 52 00:03:13,070 --> 00:03:16,323 Technology this advanced is indistinguishable from magic. 53 00:03:24,122 --> 00:03:26,250 - Whoa! - Whoa! 54 00:03:26,333 --> 00:03:29,336 My face… My skin! 55 00:03:29,419 --> 00:03:31,839 I can see everything! 56 00:03:31,922 --> 00:03:34,216 My mouth tastes so clean! 57 00:03:34,299 --> 00:03:35,843 Whoa, my knuckles work! 58 00:03:35,926 --> 00:03:36,927 No pain! 59 00:03:37,803 --> 00:03:39,221 You look like shit. 60 00:03:39,304 --> 00:03:40,889 Wait, no! Come back here! 61 00:03:40,973 --> 00:03:43,433 Get ready. Earth World is a mess. 62 00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:44,852 No creative consistency. 63 00:03:44,935 --> 00:03:46,436 Last time I was here, they had a whole ride 64 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,729 dedicated to Pol Pot. 65 00:03:47,813 --> 00:03:49,731 There's a non-zero chance you'll lose an eye. 66 00:03:50,232 --> 00:03:52,985 Oh, that wasn't the vibe I got from the waivers. 67 00:03:53,068 --> 00:03:54,820 - Waivers? - Yeah, from the website. 68 00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:55,946 Website? 69 00:03:56,905 --> 00:04:00,325 Welcome to Earth World! It's me, Dr. Dogballs! 70 00:04:00,409 --> 00:04:01,410 What the hell? 71 00:04:01,493 --> 00:04:03,495 I love Earth so much I made a theme park, 72 00:04:03,579 --> 00:04:04,830 just like they would on Earth! 73 00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:06,748 Oh. Yeah. 74 00:04:06,832 --> 00:04:08,876 Wow, I guess this does seem like it sucks. 75 00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:11,295 Good one, Grandpa. You still like stuff ironically? 76 00:04:11,378 --> 00:04:14,673 No, it used to be bad bad, which was good. 77 00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:17,426 There used to be a ride called "It's a Small Black Death"! 78 00:04:17,509 --> 00:04:19,845 Looks like they've just got a regular GAP. 79 00:04:19,928 --> 00:04:21,555 Rick, were you just drunk when you were here? 80 00:04:21,638 --> 00:04:22,806 I'm drunk now! 81 00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:24,391 Where's all the rusty nails? 82 00:04:24,474 --> 00:04:26,018 Where's the Herpes Family Flume? 83 00:04:26,101 --> 00:04:28,562 - Light-up corn dog? - Get the fuck away from me! 84 00:04:28,645 --> 00:04:32,065 Can't wait to get a photo taken with… Marie Curie? 85 00:04:32,149 --> 00:04:33,650 I think that's John Legend? 86 00:04:33,734 --> 00:04:35,068 Maybe they picked John Legend 87 00:04:35,152 --> 00:04:37,154 'cause his name implies he's really important. 88 00:04:37,237 --> 00:04:39,698 Rick, how were you thinking we should enjoy this? 89 00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:42,242 Wow, they have a Hall of Presidential Pets? 90 00:04:42,326 --> 00:04:44,912 - Like that? - Do you think I can meet Socks? 91 00:04:44,995 --> 00:04:47,414 I'm not gonna shit on it too hard 'cause I know you'd punish me, 92 00:04:47,497 --> 00:04:50,292 but isn't this just a mid-'90s outdoor mall? 93 00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:51,376 - Oh! - My bad! 94 00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:52,502 Oh, my God! 95 00:04:52,586 --> 00:04:54,713 You're a real Earth person, aren't you? 96 00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:56,506 - From Earth? - Yeah. 97 00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:58,383 I'm, like, starstruck. 98 00:04:58,467 --> 00:05:00,052 A real human! 99 00:05:00,135 --> 00:05:02,763 Ooh, you smell nasty. 100 00:05:02,846 --> 00:05:06,141 - Oh. I mean, is that good? - Absolutely. 101 00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:07,976 Well, it's nice to see something in this park 102 00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,770 still grimy and real. 103 00:05:09,853 --> 00:05:12,105 Then I'm as nasty as they come. 104 00:05:12,189 --> 00:05:14,524 Can you believe my grandpa loves this place? 105 00:05:14,608 --> 00:05:15,651 Lame. 106 00:05:15,734 --> 00:05:18,195 Beth! Where'd you go? Beth? 107 00:05:18,278 --> 00:05:19,780 Beth, I want you to have fun, 108 00:05:19,863 --> 00:05:21,782 but I need to know where you're having it. 109 00:05:21,865 --> 00:05:24,076 - I found a possum! - Oh, my God! 110 00:05:25,243 --> 00:05:27,162 No! I don't wanna be old! 111 00:05:27,788 --> 00:05:30,290 You're in so much pain, and you don't even know it! 112 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,002 - Oh, my God. - I'm sorry. 113 00:05:34,086 --> 00:05:36,922 I forgot just how insane we were as a kid. 114 00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:39,675 - I shouldn't have pitched this. - You have got to try it. 115 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,343 I'm over here! 116 00:05:41,426 --> 00:05:43,553 Okay, sweetie, this is your two-minute warning. 117 00:05:43,637 --> 00:05:45,097 It's almost time to switch back. 118 00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:47,015 You got to find me first! 119 00:05:47,724 --> 00:05:49,434 Too slow! Try again! 120 00:05:49,518 --> 00:05:51,853 Alright, let's go. That's enough. I'm serious. 121 00:05:53,063 --> 00:05:54,064 Alright, Beth. 122 00:05:57,609 --> 00:05:59,569 Surprise! You done been got! 123 00:06:01,154 --> 00:06:02,197 Do it. 124 00:06:17,963 --> 00:06:19,715 That bathroom was a ride too? 125 00:06:19,798 --> 00:06:21,717 I had my pants down and everything! 126 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,511 - I really do need to go. - Just go in a bush. 127 00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:26,847 I swear it used to be funnier than this. 128 00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:29,141 Don't turn around. I'm squatting. 129 00:06:29,224 --> 00:06:31,852 Hey, you can't go… there like that. 130 00:06:31,935 --> 00:06:33,979 You used to be able to piss wherever you wanted to. 131 00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:35,272 Like on Earth. 132 00:06:35,355 --> 00:06:37,357 Grandpa Rick, take the I. 133 00:06:37,441 --> 00:06:38,817 Let's get Morty and go home. 134 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,193 Yeah, this place is fucked. 135 00:06:40,277 --> 00:06:42,237 Corporate takeover. Board-approved changes. 136 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,865 Steve Jobs dies, and we get ten years of the same iPhone. 137 00:06:44,948 --> 00:06:47,117 Oh, no, the guy who made the park is still alive. 138 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,535 - He is? - Yeah. 139 00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:50,495 Rumor is, he still lives here. 140 00:06:50,579 --> 00:06:52,164 Down in the tunnels. 141 00:06:55,709 --> 00:06:57,586 Hey, Sum-Sum, You like breaking rules. 142 00:06:57,669 --> 00:06:58,795 Ooh, did you bring molly? 143 00:07:00,547 --> 00:07:01,715 Hurry it up, Jerry! 144 00:07:01,798 --> 00:07:03,800 It's your fault I have to go like this. 145 00:07:03,884 --> 00:07:06,928 You destroyed my urethra when you turned me into a trash can. 146 00:07:07,971 --> 00:07:09,181 Follow me. 147 00:07:10,515 --> 00:07:12,100 And of course I brought molly. 148 00:07:12,809 --> 00:07:15,228 If you're just joining us tonight, we have a… 149 00:07:15,312 --> 00:07:16,855 Oh, my God. It exploded. 150 00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:19,107 Oh, God. All those astronauts. 151 00:07:19,191 --> 00:07:21,318 It's worse than any explosion before it! 152 00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:22,736 This is hilarious. 153 00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:24,613 Hey, yo. Check this out. 154 00:07:25,405 --> 00:07:28,241 Awesome. No adult is getting inside. 155 00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:30,035 Also, don't sit on that chair. 156 00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:31,369 The cushion is knives. 157 00:07:31,453 --> 00:07:32,996 Somebody's got to sit on it! 158 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,748 Gene should sit on it. 159 00:07:34,831 --> 00:07:36,750 - Bam! - Nice! 160 00:07:41,213 --> 00:07:42,464 Hey there, girls. 161 00:07:42,547 --> 00:07:45,050 I'm guessing one of you is Beth from next door, 162 00:07:45,092 --> 00:07:47,135 and one of you is her… clone, 163 00:07:47,219 --> 00:07:49,054 but you're both little girls now? 164 00:07:49,137 --> 00:07:50,806 Not that strange, given what I've seen. 165 00:07:50,889 --> 00:07:52,557 What are you, a scientist? 166 00:07:52,641 --> 00:07:54,017 Come sit in our chair. 167 00:07:54,101 --> 00:07:57,187 Well, based on the design of your makeshift harpoon, 168 00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:59,564 seems like you girls are on a bit of a spree. 169 00:07:59,648 --> 00:08:02,109 Feel like I'm gonna be walking into some booby traps. 170 00:08:02,192 --> 00:08:03,443 Let's have some cocoa instead. 171 00:08:03,527 --> 00:08:07,364 - "Let's have some cocoa." - "I'm divorced." 172 00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:09,533 Hey! That is cruel and technically untrue. 173 00:08:09,616 --> 00:08:12,244 But you're in an altered headspace, so I know you don't mean it. 174 00:08:12,327 --> 00:08:14,871 Why don't you two sit tight? I'll get the Swiss Miss. 175 00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:17,541 - Let's go. - Go where? 176 00:08:17,624 --> 00:08:20,919 Go hunt him. Unless you're scared. 177 00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:22,379 I'm not scared of anything. 178 00:08:22,462 --> 00:08:23,672 Let's get in the walls. 179 00:08:25,841 --> 00:08:27,384 Wow, this is a good photo of us. 180 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:30,262 Keep talking. I can smell your rotting breakfast. 181 00:08:30,345 --> 00:08:32,973 - Oh, God. - Your hairs are insane. 182 00:08:33,056 --> 00:08:34,766 They're all over your body. 183 00:08:34,850 --> 00:08:36,977 Can I touch them? Say a human phrase. 184 00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:40,188 Say "grocery list" in that stinkbody accent. 185 00:08:40,272 --> 00:08:41,314 You mean my voice? 186 00:08:41,398 --> 00:08:42,858 - Yes! - "Grocery list." 187 00:08:42,941 --> 00:08:44,359 I love your tooth-filled big hole 188 00:08:44,442 --> 00:08:46,319 and the other less-used holes on your face. 189 00:08:46,403 --> 00:08:47,946 Okay… 190 00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:50,907 I'm getting the feeling that you're not into me 191 00:08:50,991 --> 00:08:54,703 as much as you like the idea of being with any human. 192 00:08:55,871 --> 00:08:57,622 Does it matter if I'm still turned on? 193 00:08:57,706 --> 00:08:59,249 No, I guess it doesn't. 194 00:08:59,332 --> 00:09:02,043 I want to get your wet muscle in my mouth. 195 00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:03,503 You mean my tongue? 196 00:09:03,587 --> 00:09:05,172 I don't care what it's called. 197 00:09:05,255 --> 00:09:07,382 Rick, I know you're having a bad time, 198 00:09:07,465 --> 00:09:11,720 but I think I saw a Panera up there that might change your tune. 199 00:09:11,803 --> 00:09:13,388 - A Panera? - Yeah! 200 00:09:13,471 --> 00:09:15,932 - Shut up. - Is that Kevin Costner? 201 00:09:16,016 --> 00:09:17,267 Wait, why do I know that? 202 00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:19,060 Did Father make new models? 203 00:09:19,144 --> 00:09:20,854 I don't recognize you three. 204 00:09:20,937 --> 00:09:23,023 No, I'm… Old Guy Fieri, 205 00:09:23,106 --> 00:09:24,482 this is Princess Diana, 206 00:09:24,566 --> 00:09:26,067 and he's Mr. Rogers. 207 00:09:26,151 --> 00:09:27,319 Or Brett Kavanaugh. 208 00:09:27,402 --> 00:09:29,362 I wouldn't know. I never left this park. 209 00:09:29,446 --> 00:09:32,115 Us too. We're looking for Dogballs. 210 00:09:36,036 --> 00:09:37,996 He lives below. 211 00:09:42,709 --> 00:09:44,377 Dr. Dogballs. My man! 212 00:09:44,461 --> 00:09:46,880 Humans! Real humans! 213 00:09:47,005 --> 00:09:49,007 The mad genius who built Earth World! 214 00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,176 Nobody loves Earth as much as me. 215 00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:54,054 Car, Muscle Beach, property taxes. 216 00:09:54,137 --> 00:09:56,431 But before I could complete my perfect vision, 217 00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:59,267 I was caught with incriminating files on my computer, 218 00:09:59,351 --> 00:10:00,977 and the board chained me up. 219 00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:03,313 I watch animal pornography. 220 00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:04,439 It's my business. 221 00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:06,691 Like with people and animals? 222 00:10:06,775 --> 00:10:08,109 No, just the animals, sicko. 223 00:10:08,193 --> 00:10:10,028 The original Earth World was incredible. 224 00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:11,780 I got strep from a candy once! 225 00:10:11,863 --> 00:10:14,324 Of course you feel that way. You're a human being. 226 00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:17,494 You know what Earth theme parks are supposed to be like. 227 00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:19,537 I'd take you to the dead zone if I could 228 00:10:19,621 --> 00:10:22,123 and show you some of the old delights. 229 00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:24,042 But they won't let me leave my office. 230 00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:26,253 They won't, but I will. 231 00:10:27,462 --> 00:10:31,091 Welcome to the real Earth World! 232 00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:33,927 I guess this is closer to how I remember it. 233 00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,346 Oh! I stepped on a rusty nail! 234 00:10:39,432 --> 00:10:40,850 At least Jerry got hurt. 235 00:10:40,934 --> 00:10:43,520 Hot cocoa with extra marshmallows! 236 00:10:43,603 --> 00:10:45,605 Hope you got room for extra marshmallows! 237 00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:48,149 Look at him holding marshmallows over our heads. 238 00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:49,567 Like that's some kind of power. 239 00:10:49,651 --> 00:10:51,611 I do like marshmallows. 240 00:10:51,695 --> 00:10:53,405 He doesn't decide about our marshmallows! 241 00:10:53,488 --> 00:10:55,115 You should go up there and cut him. 242 00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:56,616 You should cut him. 243 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:57,701 What should we cut? 244 00:10:57,784 --> 00:10:59,452 I don't know. Just start slashing! 245 00:11:01,997 --> 00:11:04,457 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 246 00:11:04,541 --> 00:11:07,085 My ankles! I need a doctor! 247 00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:09,212 Great. Now we have to take care of him. 248 00:11:09,296 --> 00:11:10,755 I don't want to take care of anybody! 249 00:11:10,839 --> 00:11:13,216 - You take care of him! - It was your idea! 250 00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,551 - Not it! Jinx! - Not it! Jinx! 251 00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:17,095 - I think you hit an artery! - She did it! She's a psycho. 252 00:11:17,178 --> 00:11:19,431 - You're the psycho! - I watched you eat a bird! 253 00:11:19,514 --> 00:11:22,267 After you tore off its wings! 254 00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:24,561 I'll show you who's psycho! 255 00:11:27,939 --> 00:11:30,233 Yeah, run away, you baby! 256 00:11:30,317 --> 00:11:32,902 Remember your affirmations, Gene. 257 00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:35,572 You deserve to live. 258 00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:36,656 Oh. 259 00:11:39,075 --> 00:11:43,079 Well, somehow every decision I've ever made has led to this. 260 00:11:51,629 --> 00:11:53,298 Get out of my tree house! 261 00:11:53,381 --> 00:11:54,549 Get out of my yard! 262 00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:04,184 Fire detected. Extinguishing. 263 00:12:22,952 --> 00:12:24,913 Come on, Gene. Not like this. 264 00:12:24,996 --> 00:12:26,039 Not like this! 265 00:12:26,122 --> 00:12:28,333 Hey, Siri, call 911! 266 00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:30,502 Countdown to calling 911. 267 00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:33,630 Calling 911 in 10, 9, 8, 7… 268 00:12:33,713 --> 00:12:35,256 Why does it need a countdown? 269 00:12:36,925 --> 00:12:40,470 Earth's World War II was fought with combines and harvesters, 270 00:12:40,553 --> 00:12:43,014 and you're about to witness it firsthand. 271 00:12:43,098 --> 00:12:44,891 Oh, God, is that a live wire? 272 00:12:44,974 --> 00:12:47,227 None of the electricity is grounded here. 273 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,562 Shit. 274 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,482 I got to get home before Gene calls 911 275 00:12:52,565 --> 00:12:53,983 from any other phone but his own. 276 00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:56,111 The head thing so you can get out the way you came. 277 00:12:56,194 --> 00:12:58,571 Wait, you're leaving? I thought you loved this place. 278 00:12:58,655 --> 00:13:00,156 Yeah, I don't know. 279 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,491 I guess Morty was right. 280 00:13:01,574 --> 00:13:03,159 Am I, like, supposed to think it's cool 281 00:13:03,243 --> 00:13:05,620 that there's measles in the water and, like, snakes? 282 00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,414 Nah. You guys have fun. 283 00:13:09,791 --> 00:13:12,168 Oh, shit! 284 00:13:17,298 --> 00:13:18,967 We're done here, boys. 285 00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,012 Rick, your girls. 286 00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:24,889 They're not good people. 287 00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,475 Thank… you. 288 00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:31,104 I've only been gone for two hours! 289 00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:32,188 Hey, Beths! 290 00:13:32,272 --> 00:13:34,023 Deducing here that you've been huffing childhood 291 00:13:34,107 --> 00:13:35,608 and have overdosed on fun. 292 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:38,862 Ouch. 293 00:13:45,743 --> 00:13:48,663 - I'm gonna kill you! - Well, I'm gonna kill you first! 294 00:13:48,746 --> 00:13:49,789 Ow! Damn it! 295 00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:52,000 That's it. We're done. 296 00:14:00,008 --> 00:14:01,426 You dick! 297 00:14:02,844 --> 00:14:04,429 Enough Home Alone-ing. 298 00:14:04,512 --> 00:14:05,805 Goddamn it! 299 00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:09,184 I cloned you to fix this, not make you twice as annoying. 300 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,769 Oh, I can't tell you. Oh, my God! 301 00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:15,690 I've waited so long for someone to see my vision. 302 00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:18,193 And of course it was real humans! 303 00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:20,737 You're the perfect audience for this. 304 00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:22,614 My finest moment. 305 00:14:24,115 --> 00:14:26,659 Oh, shit. What's that? 306 00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:28,995 My beautiful creations. 307 00:14:29,078 --> 00:14:31,122 They're going to destroy the park. 308 00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:33,875 Oh, God. 309 00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:36,169 I thought they were people in costumes, 310 00:14:36,252 --> 00:14:38,046 but the costumes are the people? 311 00:14:38,129 --> 00:14:39,631 The people are the costumes? 312 00:14:39,714 --> 00:14:42,383 All Earth theme parks end the same way. 313 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,677 Jurassic Park, Westworld, 314 00:14:44,761 --> 00:14:47,347 even the rides inside the theme parks 315 00:14:47,430 --> 00:14:48,640 tell the same story. 316 00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:50,183 You're on a boat ride 317 00:14:50,266 --> 00:14:52,685 when suddenly you take a detour to a waterfall, 318 00:14:52,769 --> 00:14:54,854 and now you're in a pirate's den, 319 00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:57,732 forced to suck dick to stay alive! 320 00:14:57,815 --> 00:14:58,816 Why would you do this? 321 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,527 The greatest tribute to Earth 322 00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:04,489 is a theme park that ends in chaos. 323 00:15:09,452 --> 00:15:11,454 Be free! Be free, my lovelies! 324 00:15:12,747 --> 00:15:14,499 Hungry for meat. 325 00:15:14,582 --> 00:15:15,750 Eat meat! 326 00:15:16,292 --> 00:15:17,377 Take it all! 327 00:15:18,628 --> 00:15:20,421 - Take the other one! - Shit! Dad! 328 00:15:20,505 --> 00:15:22,298 Take it! Take it all! 329 00:15:22,382 --> 00:15:24,425 Blend in. Stumble around! 330 00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:34,310 Yeah, you like that? Labradoodle. 331 00:15:34,394 --> 00:15:35,687 - Uh-huh. - Coconut milk. 332 00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:36,938 More human stuff. 333 00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:38,231 Big League Chew. 334 00:15:39,899 --> 00:15:42,026 Ooh! Say something racist. 335 00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:44,487 - What? - C'mon, you're human, 336 00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:45,905 it's your whole thing. 337 00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:51,119 Italians make pretty good pizza? 338 00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:55,039 No, do it hateful, you disgusting little bug. 339 00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:56,666 Did you hear that? 340 00:15:56,749 --> 00:15:58,960 Now you're pretending there's some kind of emergency? 341 00:15:59,043 --> 00:16:01,129 I tried to be vulnerable with you. 342 00:16:01,212 --> 00:16:02,922 If you don't think I'm pretty, just say so. 343 00:16:03,006 --> 00:16:05,592 I'm sorry, but I'm not just some sexual fantasy, 344 00:16:05,717 --> 00:16:06,926 I'm a whole person. 345 00:16:06,968 --> 00:16:10,555 Come on! You guys basically invented racism. 346 00:16:10,638 --> 00:16:12,348 If I wanted to fuck something good, 347 00:16:12,432 --> 00:16:14,767 I wouldn't have come to Earth World. 348 00:16:15,768 --> 00:16:18,730 I don't even know who this is! 349 00:16:18,813 --> 00:16:20,815 It's John Legend, I think! Oh, my God! 350 00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,615 Summer? Rick? Anyone? 351 00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:32,285 That's the entire Culkin family! 352 00:16:32,368 --> 00:16:34,662 I guess there's seven of them? 353 00:16:37,290 --> 00:16:39,751 I loved you in Succession! I'm sorry! 354 00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:42,962 Enough kindergarten. I don't have time to be your dad. 355 00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:44,964 - You never did! - You want me to be a parent? 356 00:16:45,048 --> 00:16:47,675 Fine. No more talking until you're adults. 357 00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:03,983 Okay, whichever one you are, you're up. 358 00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:06,027 She can't breathe! She can't breathe! 359 00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:07,904 Oh, shit, fuck! 360 00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:09,030 Take that! 361 00:17:09,739 --> 00:17:11,574 How old should we make him? 362 00:17:11,658 --> 00:17:13,326 As old as it'll go. 363 00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:22,210 Bet it's scary to have your life in the hands 364 00:17:22,293 --> 00:17:24,253 of unreliable caregivers! 365 00:17:27,465 --> 00:17:29,467 Walk! We're not taking care of you! 366 00:17:29,550 --> 00:17:31,761 Yeah, get up, or we'll leave you here! 367 00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:34,722 Just like you left us. Lazy piece of shit! 368 00:17:34,806 --> 00:17:37,016 - Fuck you, Dad! - Fucking asshole! 369 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,435 You didn't want us. You just wanted to fuck off. 370 00:17:40,687 --> 00:17:42,855 I didn't leave. 371 00:17:42,939 --> 00:17:45,358 My Beth died. 372 00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:47,944 Yeah, well, someone left us! 373 00:17:49,445 --> 00:17:50,655 And there's two of us now! 374 00:17:50,738 --> 00:17:53,157 You should love us twice as much! 375 00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:55,910 - All we wanted was to be together! - All we wanted was to be together! 376 00:17:58,538 --> 00:18:00,331 Don't you… cry! 377 00:18:00,415 --> 00:18:02,667 You don't deserve to cry! 378 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,210 Proud… 379 00:18:04,794 --> 00:18:05,795 Proud? 380 00:18:06,337 --> 00:18:08,631 Proud… of you… 381 00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:12,844 for making me old and beating the shit out of me. 382 00:18:17,807 --> 00:18:22,603 Proud you're… you're both my daughters. 383 00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:36,868 You little bitches broke my bones. 384 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:42,707 I'm shitting! 385 00:18:43,916 --> 00:18:45,418 I'm not joking. 386 00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:46,836 Stop making me laugh. 387 00:18:47,378 --> 00:18:49,046 It's making me shit more! 388 00:18:52,842 --> 00:18:54,385 - It's perfect! - It's perfect! 389 00:18:54,886 --> 00:18:56,596 The only thing that could make this better 390 00:18:56,679 --> 00:18:58,264 is if something was on fire. 391 00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:00,016 I might stab something again. 392 00:19:00,099 --> 00:19:01,809 Probably should turn you back. 393 00:19:01,893 --> 00:19:03,936 Do most kids like to stab this much? 394 00:19:05,188 --> 00:19:06,814 There's the exit. Stay close. 395 00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,151 Please help! 396 00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:11,694 Oh, thank God! 397 00:19:12,487 --> 00:19:13,488 How could you… 398 00:19:15,114 --> 00:19:16,616 Oh, shit, Morty's killing… 399 00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:18,242 I think that's Rory Culkin? 400 00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:19,869 Is that who this one is! 401 00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:21,579 We gotta bail. Get a head. 402 00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:23,623 - What? - Put on Rory! 403 00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:25,416 There's no room! 404 00:19:27,585 --> 00:19:29,003 It's so wet in here. 405 00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:30,713 It smells too. It smells wet. 406 00:19:30,797 --> 00:19:31,798 They're coming! 407 00:19:32,799 --> 00:19:34,217 Come on! 408 00:19:35,343 --> 00:19:36,844 - Come on, get in! - Where's the remote? 409 00:19:36,928 --> 00:19:38,846 I lost the remote! I can't shrink our heads! 410 00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:40,014 Give me the keys! 411 00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:45,937 More like Earth World. 412 00:19:46,521 --> 00:19:48,356 - What? - Like Jurassic World. 413 00:19:48,439 --> 00:19:50,358 - The big sequel? - I don't know what you're saying. 414 00:19:50,441 --> 00:19:51,734 Wasn't it called Earth Park? 415 00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:52,819 - No! - No! 416 00:19:52,902 --> 00:19:53,903 Oh. 417 00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:55,404 Is anybody getting cold? 418 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,156 I'm blind! Space froze my eyes! 419 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,909 Yeah, Jerry. I told you, that theme park sucks! 420 00:21:13,566 --> 00:21:15,526 Hello. You've reached 911. 421 00:21:15,610 --> 00:21:18,362 If this is an emergency, please leave a message. 422 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,575 The house across the street from me keeps disappearing and reappearing. 423 00:21:22,658 --> 00:21:24,452 I don't know if that's an emergency, 424 00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:25,995 but it's really upsetting. 425 00:21:26,078 --> 00:21:27,914 Could you send someone to investigate? 426 00:21:28,539 --> 00:21:31,000 So, I was eating a burger and now my hands are burgers. 427 00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:35,087 Hi. I'm being home-invaded, and it's by a small home. 428 00:21:35,171 --> 00:21:37,506 There's a small home that's home-invading my home. 429 00:21:37,590 --> 00:21:39,884 It's wearing a ski mask, but it's definitely a house. 430 00:21:39,926 --> 00:21:41,469 There's a pigeon outside my house 431 00:21:41,552 --> 00:21:43,429 demanding to see my birth certificate. 432 00:21:43,512 --> 00:21:45,640 I'm beginning to think 911 shouldn't have 433 00:21:45,723 --> 00:21:46,974 an answering machine. 434 00:21:47,058 --> 00:21:48,976 Also, I have 11 legs now. 435 00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:50,937 Nobody ever comes. 436 00:21:52,521 --> 00:21:53,940 Did you get any of that?