1 00:01:21,288 --> 00:01:22,289 There he is. 2 00:01:22,372 --> 00:01:25,125 Knew I'd get a handsome man in here if I waited around long enough. 3 00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:26,960 Had to patch a tire out on County Line. 4 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:28,044 Too good for a tow? 5 00:01:28,128 --> 00:01:29,212 Too impatient. 6 00:01:29,296 --> 00:01:31,923 You city folk. Always in a hurry. 7 00:01:32,007 --> 00:01:33,800 By God, look who it is! 8 00:01:33,884 --> 00:01:35,468 - He's back! - Hey! 9 00:01:35,552 --> 00:01:36,553 Welcome back, brother! 10 00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:40,098 Don't know why I ever leave. A place to bowl, a place to fish. 11 00:01:40,181 --> 00:01:42,100 And a beer to hold doing it! 12 00:01:44,728 --> 00:01:45,729 Best friends! 13 00:01:45,812 --> 00:01:46,897 We love you, Ted! 14 00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:48,690 Ted! 15 00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:23,016 You still selling PVC? 16 00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:24,267 How's-how's business down there? 17 00:02:24,351 --> 00:02:25,977 Good enough to get me back up here. 18 00:02:26,061 --> 00:02:27,062 Think you could put in a word? 19 00:02:27,145 --> 00:02:28,980 Son, you don't wanna sell pipe. 20 00:02:29,064 --> 00:02:30,315 He just wants to lay some. 21 00:02:32,275 --> 00:02:33,944 Good to have you back, brother. 22 00:02:34,986 --> 00:02:36,112 Split a sixer? 23 00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:40,325 Marjorie's keeping the place open late now? 24 00:02:40,408 --> 00:02:42,744 Yeah. Her mother passed a few months back. 25 00:02:42,827 --> 00:02:44,120 Don't think she wants to go home. 26 00:02:44,704 --> 00:02:46,331 Everybody's runnin' from something. 27 00:02:51,503 --> 00:02:52,963 How's Luisa? She still kick you out of bed 28 00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:54,673 - when you drink? - Yep. 29 00:02:54,756 --> 00:02:56,049 Might as well keep drinking. 30 00:02:58,551 --> 00:03:00,136 Open the register and gimme your wallet! 31 00:03:03,098 --> 00:03:04,099 No, no, no. 32 00:03:11,606 --> 00:03:14,401 - Teddy? - Hello. There's a robbery. 33 00:03:14,484 --> 00:03:16,444 I think this guy's having a heart attack. 34 00:03:16,528 --> 00:03:18,363 Ted, where you going? 35 00:03:18,446 --> 00:03:20,156 Hey! The cops are coming. 36 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,825 Ted! Teddy! 37 00:03:21,908 --> 00:03:23,702 This guy's dying in here! 38 00:03:42,846 --> 00:03:44,723 - Alright, well, shit. - What the hell? What the hell? 39 00:03:44,806 --> 00:03:47,183 Looks like you learned some things about your body. 40 00:03:47,267 --> 00:03:48,810 I'll make this simple, Ted. 41 00:03:48,893 --> 00:03:51,396 You're not a PVC salesman from two states south. 42 00:03:51,479 --> 00:03:52,981 You're the smartest man who's ever lived, 43 00:03:53,064 --> 00:03:55,108 and you were born 400 light-years away. 44 00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,609 You're on Beloi-6E. 45 00:03:56,693 --> 00:03:58,528 It's a primitive planet with good country music 46 00:03:58,611 --> 00:04:01,531 and a shit-ton of snow, real early '90s Earth vibes. 47 00:04:01,614 --> 00:04:03,074 They're 100 years from first contact, 48 00:04:03,158 --> 00:04:05,493 so they don't know who I am, who you are. 49 00:04:05,577 --> 00:04:06,828 Which is the whole point. 50 00:04:06,911 --> 00:04:08,830 You think it's fun to be a god, Ted? 51 00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:11,374 You think God's nipples get hard when he murders a fish? 52 00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:12,667 Th-That's why every summer 53 00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:14,335 I take two weeks off and come here. 54 00:04:14,419 --> 00:04:16,921 I wipe my brain and pull all but my survival tech. 55 00:04:20,341 --> 00:04:22,343 I go home with the peace of mind stupid people get 56 00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:24,137 from watching Kevin Costner movies. 57 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:27,182 So, look, if you're seeing this because shit's gone sideways, 58 00:04:27,265 --> 00:04:28,767 hit the red button to be me again. 59 00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:30,518 If everything's cool, hit the blue button 60 00:04:30,602 --> 00:04:32,896 to clear this from your memory and enjoy the rest of your trip. 61 00:04:32,979 --> 00:04:34,481 Okay, Morty, that's a wrap on 62 00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:36,066 "If you've been messing with my tech." 63 00:04:36,149 --> 00:04:38,193 Let's run the Taken scenarios. 64 00:04:55,126 --> 00:04:57,212 You here about the dishwasher job? 65 00:04:57,796 --> 00:04:59,881 Shit, you're a Popsicle. 66 00:05:03,885 --> 00:05:06,805 You know me, right? 67 00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,974 I'd sure like to think so. 68 00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:11,559 I mean it. How could you? 69 00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:14,187 I'm just some guy who shows up every year. 70 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,397 Well, something keeps you coming back here. 71 00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:19,317 Lay back. I got a surprise for you. 72 00:05:20,819 --> 00:05:22,821 Got this set up since your last visit. 73 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,241 It's nice. 74 00:05:26,324 --> 00:05:28,660 Haven't really found occasion to use it. 75 00:05:28,743 --> 00:05:29,994 Thanks for giving me one. 76 00:05:30,537 --> 00:05:31,830 I don't mind the company. 77 00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:35,458 You still have that spare room in back? 78 00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,293 I don't want to sleep in the RV. 79 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:51,266 Don't go. 80 00:05:52,016 --> 00:05:53,101 I'm not gonna. 81 00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:05,530 Okay, obviously, you're seeing this hologram 82 00:06:05,613 --> 00:06:07,615 because you ignored the instructions from the last one. 83 00:06:07,699 --> 00:06:09,701 If you're seeing this hologram, you decided to ignore the hologram. 84 00:06:09,784 --> 00:06:11,244 It'd mean you went pretty rogue. 85 00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:12,871 So just a gentle reminder, 86 00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:15,331 you're not a real person, you're me. 87 00:06:15,415 --> 00:06:17,375 You're permanently fucking up your vacation spot, 88 00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:19,127 which hurts you more than it hurts me. 89 00:06:19,210 --> 00:06:22,505 Though, in all honesty, we're both getting hurt pretty severely… 90 00:06:27,468 --> 00:06:29,596 Ted, one of these days, you gotta come up in July. 91 00:06:29,679 --> 00:06:32,974 I caught a muskie last summer came about up to my neck. 92 00:06:33,057 --> 00:06:34,893 - Stop lying to the man. - No fish in this lake. 93 00:06:34,976 --> 00:06:37,020 Actually, thought I might stick around this year. 94 00:06:37,103 --> 00:06:38,730 - See the thaw. - For real, Teddy? 95 00:06:38,813 --> 00:06:40,231 You're gonna… You're gonna stay? 96 00:06:40,315 --> 00:06:41,524 What about your company? 97 00:06:41,608 --> 00:06:43,026 Doesn't seem real. 98 00:06:43,109 --> 00:06:46,946 It's like I've been pretending I go somewhere when I leave, 99 00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:49,741 but I think I only exist when I'm here. 100 00:06:49,824 --> 00:06:52,952 Like this is literally the only place I'm actually alive. 101 00:06:54,454 --> 00:06:56,497 Does that… make sense? 102 00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:58,416 Good thing nobody's driving tonight. 103 00:07:02,128 --> 00:07:03,296 Hey! 104 00:07:24,817 --> 00:07:26,069 Fuck me. 105 00:07:26,986 --> 00:07:29,113 - Hello? Rick? Rick! - Who is this? 106 00:07:29,197 --> 00:07:30,657 I'm really gonna get in trouble for this. 107 00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:32,325 How are you calling my leg? 108 00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:33,660 I'm not supposed to ever use the leg phone, 109 00:07:33,743 --> 00:07:35,620 but I-I just need you to get in the egg. 110 00:07:36,829 --> 00:07:38,665 Don't pick a fight with yourself, okay? 111 00:07:38,748 --> 00:07:40,792 I just want to get you home before anything worse happens. 112 00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:43,378 Nothing's worse than finding out I'm some character 113 00:07:43,461 --> 00:07:45,880 that asshole plays, some costume he puts on to… 114 00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:47,840 He doesn't need you alive to bring you home. 115 00:07:47,924 --> 00:07:49,926 It's not my home! I'm not him! 116 00:07:50,009 --> 00:07:52,262 You are. I mean, I agree with you. 117 00:07:52,345 --> 00:07:54,847 He can be kind of a dick, but y'know, this… 118 00:07:54,931 --> 00:07:56,266 this is just how it is. 119 00:07:57,350 --> 00:07:58,935 No! Help! Help! 120 00:07:59,018 --> 00:08:00,812 And if you could just hang up the leg phone? 121 00:08:00,895 --> 00:08:02,146 I'll just… I'll never hear the end of it 122 00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:03,439 if the leg phone gets lost. 123 00:08:04,023 --> 00:08:05,900 Hello? Hello? 124 00:08:08,236 --> 00:08:09,404 Ted! 125 00:08:10,405 --> 00:08:11,406 Ted, are you okay? 126 00:08:12,824 --> 00:08:14,867 - Thank you. - What is this thing, Ted? 127 00:08:14,951 --> 00:08:16,995 I'm not who you think I am. 128 00:08:17,078 --> 00:08:19,789 Is this your ship from space? 129 00:08:19,872 --> 00:08:21,332 Your spaceship? 130 00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:22,583 It's his. 131 00:08:22,667 --> 00:08:24,794 He's non-vacation me. 132 00:08:24,877 --> 00:08:27,005 I don't know him. And I don't want to. 133 00:08:27,088 --> 00:08:28,548 But this asshole's coming for me 134 00:08:28,631 --> 00:08:30,758 and I don't intend to let him win. 135 00:08:31,592 --> 00:08:32,593 For the love of Pete. 136 00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:34,470 Do you understand what you're asking? 137 00:08:34,554 --> 00:08:36,681 I wouldn't ask at all if there were any other way. 138 00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:41,352 Janice, Mary, I gotta send you home. 139 00:08:41,436 --> 00:08:42,520 We're closing early. 140 00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:46,232 - Come on! - We're only three frames in! 141 00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:49,152 Thank you. 142 00:08:50,653 --> 00:08:52,530 Nobody gonna take me seriously. 143 00:08:52,613 --> 00:08:54,282 Janice's gonna have her word… 144 00:08:54,365 --> 00:08:56,951 Promise me you won't come back here tonight. 145 00:08:57,035 --> 00:08:58,745 Always were dramatic. 146 00:08:58,828 --> 00:08:59,829 Promise. 147 00:09:00,705 --> 00:09:04,250 I just… Don't die in my bowling alley. 148 00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:05,918 You hear me? 149 00:09:11,591 --> 00:09:12,884 Holy hell. 150 00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:16,095 - How's it going out there, Bowser? - All good. 151 00:09:18,848 --> 00:09:20,016 Sprinklers, Antonio? 152 00:09:20,099 --> 00:09:21,684 Working on it. Little Mike? 153 00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:26,939 Okay, Big Mike. 154 00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:46,376 Now! 155 00:09:56,469 --> 00:09:58,679 We need those sprinklers, Antonio! 156 00:09:59,514 --> 00:10:01,224 It's not working. 157 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,684 - There's too many! - Fry 'em! 158 00:10:08,606 --> 00:10:09,732 Mike! 159 00:10:11,818 --> 00:10:13,778 Follow me, ya drone bastards! 160 00:10:18,658 --> 00:10:20,118 Teddy, drop! 161 00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:29,043 - Yes! - Come on! Rack' em up! 162 00:10:29,127 --> 00:10:30,128 Time for a beer! 163 00:10:30,211 --> 00:10:32,547 Fuck you, you self-centered prick! 164 00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:34,674 Who's not a real person now, huh? 165 00:10:38,469 --> 00:10:39,470 Marjorie! 166 00:10:40,054 --> 00:10:41,472 Why'd you come back? 167 00:10:41,556 --> 00:10:43,558 I told you not to come back. 168 00:10:43,641 --> 00:10:45,226 You know me. 169 00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:47,437 I'm a stubborn old bitch. 170 00:10:48,354 --> 00:10:50,022 Never could leave. 171 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:53,401 Oh, my God. 172 00:10:53,484 --> 00:10:55,111 I'm… sorry. 173 00:10:59,115 --> 00:11:00,908 Where you going, Teddy? 174 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,547 Uh… Ted? 175 00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,549 He thought he could come here and destroy me, 176 00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,885 so I'm gonna go there and destroy him. 177 00:11:18,968 --> 00:11:20,303 Whattaya need from us? 178 00:11:20,386 --> 00:11:21,596 I need you to leave. 179 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:22,972 I clearly can't keep you safe. 180 00:11:23,055 --> 00:11:24,515 I can't keep anyone safe! 181 00:11:25,099 --> 00:11:27,310 Well, we won't let Marjorie die for nothing. 182 00:11:27,393 --> 00:11:29,645 Yeah, he may be one bad son of a bitch, 183 00:11:29,729 --> 00:11:31,189 but you have us. 184 00:11:31,272 --> 00:11:33,191 Where you go, we go. 185 00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:49,790 There you are, motherfucker. 186 00:12:21,155 --> 00:12:23,574 Uh, how long has it been since you flew, Mike? 187 00:12:23,658 --> 00:12:25,743 I never flew anything like this. 188 00:12:25,826 --> 00:12:27,370 We'll be okay. 189 00:12:28,204 --> 00:12:30,540 Luisa, te veré de nuevo. 190 00:12:36,879 --> 00:12:40,258 Boosters are go. Nav system, go. Big Mike, on my count. 191 00:12:40,341 --> 00:12:42,552 Initiating in three, two, one. 192 00:12:50,351 --> 00:12:51,811 Up the pressure! 193 00:12:51,894 --> 00:12:53,938 It's not responding! We gotta turn back! 194 00:12:54,021 --> 00:12:55,565 We can't turn back! 195 00:12:56,482 --> 00:12:58,401 Keep her together! 196 00:12:58,484 --> 00:13:02,446 Equalizing now! We're almost clear of orbit! 197 00:13:02,530 --> 00:13:04,782 Hold her! Hold her! 198 00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:12,331 Are you seeing this? 199 00:13:12,415 --> 00:13:14,292 It's amazing. 200 00:13:17,878 --> 00:13:20,590 That was the easy part. Hold on to your dicks. 201 00:13:32,727 --> 00:13:36,230 Okay, if you're… if you're seeing this one, 202 00:13:36,314 --> 00:13:39,525 clearly the-the holograms are-are… they're not working. 203 00:13:40,234 --> 00:13:41,569 Let's get him, boys! 204 00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:47,533 Forcibly deactivating vacation mode. 205 00:14:01,297 --> 00:14:04,008 Whatever you're doing out here has broken the garbage disposal. 206 00:14:04,091 --> 00:14:05,801 Turn this thing off, or I fry her! 207 00:14:05,885 --> 00:14:08,638 Dad, do you want to call off Deliverance here? 208 00:14:08,721 --> 00:14:10,765 My God. You're his daughter? 209 00:14:10,848 --> 00:14:13,184 It's unbelievable that I'm not allowed to buy alcohol yet. 210 00:14:13,267 --> 00:14:15,561 Garage, override code Charlie 7 alpha. 211 00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:18,356 Take her out, Mike! 212 00:14:18,439 --> 00:14:19,940 Wait! Don't hurt her. 213 00:14:20,024 --> 00:14:21,067 Jeez, you're back! 214 00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:24,945 Oh, wait. Are you still Vacation Rick? 215 00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:26,280 Please tell me you have the leg phone. 216 00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:29,200 You spring breakers put a hole in my roof. 217 00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:31,077 I'm going back out to the pool. 218 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,663 Hey, buddy, you made it all the way home. 219 00:14:33,746 --> 00:14:35,706 And you brought your… your little buds. 220 00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:37,375 - Ted? - Stand down. 221 00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:39,627 - They didn't ask for this. - You can say that again. 222 00:14:39,710 --> 00:14:41,337 Somebody better get the disposal running. 223 00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:42,755 There's fishbones in there. 224 00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,549 It's called a garbage disposal! 225 00:14:45,633 --> 00:14:48,719 That was your voice on my leg phone. 226 00:14:48,803 --> 00:14:49,970 You're his friend? 227 00:14:50,054 --> 00:14:53,265 Kind of. I'm your grandson. 228 00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:56,185 Well, it looks like we're gonna be here for a while, huh? 229 00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:58,396 Where's that fucking red button? 230 00:14:59,438 --> 00:15:03,150 Hey, uh, me? Hologram guy? 231 00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:05,611 - Garage? - Yes? 232 00:15:05,695 --> 00:15:07,154 Y-You can hear me. 233 00:15:07,238 --> 00:15:09,156 Where's this guy keep his tools? 234 00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:12,952 Holy shit. 235 00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:14,453 Hey, Teddy. 236 00:15:14,537 --> 00:15:17,998 As long as you're building spaceman stuff… 237 00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:26,215 Yeah. Alright! 238 00:15:27,341 --> 00:15:28,426 I'm gonna get another drink. 239 00:15:28,509 --> 00:15:31,053 Come on, Ted. We were beating you before this too. 240 00:15:31,137 --> 00:15:32,555 - Gimme another pitcher. - Sure. 241 00:15:32,638 --> 00:15:34,140 Are you one of those hicks with robot arms? 242 00:15:34,223 --> 00:15:35,474 What'd you call me? 243 00:15:35,558 --> 00:15:37,184 I thought you guys were owning it. 244 00:15:37,268 --> 00:15:38,894 I'll make it interesting, Teddy. 245 00:15:44,525 --> 00:15:47,820 Tough luck! That's a hard spare to hit. 246 00:15:49,196 --> 00:15:52,074 Guys, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 247 00:15:53,492 --> 00:15:54,910 What are you doing out here? 248 00:15:54,994 --> 00:15:56,954 - Beth made pancakes. - I'm busy. 249 00:15:57,037 --> 00:15:58,330 You're wearing his clothes now. 250 00:15:58,414 --> 00:16:00,040 It has pockets, it's not a symbol. 251 00:16:00,124 --> 00:16:01,876 Teddy, you know what would be cool? 252 00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:04,628 If I had laser eyes. 253 00:16:04,712 --> 00:16:07,047 Or, okay, one eye is a laser, 254 00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:08,674 and the other sees through clothes. 255 00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:11,177 What the hell is that? 256 00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:12,428 Just go in. 257 00:16:14,555 --> 00:16:17,266 I can see our bowling alley. We're going home. 258 00:16:17,349 --> 00:16:19,643 So, we won? We beat this guy? 259 00:16:19,727 --> 00:16:21,228 - Sure. - Yeah! 260 00:16:21,312 --> 00:16:23,105 - We did it! - We're goin' home, boys! 261 00:16:24,690 --> 00:16:27,568 And, uh, you'll gimme lasers when we, uh, get back home? 262 00:16:29,403 --> 00:16:32,239 Hey, want me to keep an eye on your old stuff? 263 00:16:32,323 --> 00:16:34,992 Sell it if you want. Buy Luisa something nice. 264 00:16:41,749 --> 00:16:43,334 He looks pretty normal to me. 265 00:16:43,417 --> 00:16:45,169 Talk to him, then. 266 00:16:45,252 --> 00:16:47,588 - Dad? - Oh, God! 267 00:16:47,671 --> 00:16:49,548 He's still Ted, apparently. 268 00:16:49,632 --> 00:16:51,008 There's a difference? 269 00:16:58,474 --> 00:16:59,642 You see what I'm saying? 270 00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:01,769 I'm not staying if I can't swim. 271 00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:02,955 Well, look who's back. 272 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,332 Came to pour one out for Marjorie. 273 00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:06,458 Marjorie's over there. 274 00:18:07,251 --> 00:18:08,961 This is Little Mike. 275 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,337 Oh, Jesus. 276 00:18:10,421 --> 00:18:12,339 He got run through on his own robot arm. 277 00:18:12,423 --> 00:18:13,799 - My boy! - Fuck. 278 00:18:13,883 --> 00:18:15,217 He was drunk. 279 00:18:15,301 --> 00:18:16,760 Guess he had something in his eye. 280 00:18:16,844 --> 00:18:18,888 I didn't mean for any of this to happen, you guys. 281 00:18:18,971 --> 00:18:22,057 It was just nice to vacation with dumb people. 282 00:18:22,141 --> 00:18:23,767 You did this, 283 00:18:23,851 --> 00:18:26,478 you fake outsider piece of shit. 284 00:18:42,161 --> 00:18:43,662 - Morty. - We're in the middle of a game. 285 00:18:43,746 --> 00:18:46,040 Morty, Grandpa needs you. 286 00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:48,083 Grandpa needs you, Morty. 287 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,419 - Come on, it'll just take a minute. - Uh, okay, Rick. 288 00:18:50,502 --> 00:18:53,213 I mean, Ted. What are we… What are we calling him now? 289 00:18:53,297 --> 00:18:55,215 Jesus! That's really dangerous! 290 00:18:55,299 --> 00:18:57,092 It's empty, I-I don't know how to… 291 00:18:57,176 --> 00:18:59,720 How do we get more, Morty? We gotta get more. 292 00:18:59,803 --> 00:19:01,889 Oh, great, the one time I was winning. 293 00:19:01,972 --> 00:19:03,182 Can you take your grandfather 294 00:19:03,265 --> 00:19:04,808 back out to the garage, please, Morty? 295 00:19:04,892 --> 00:19:06,810 That is a troubling family dynamic. 296 00:19:06,894 --> 00:19:08,604 Everybody knows that, right? 297 00:19:08,687 --> 00:19:11,523 We can discuss it after we get this thing off your father. 298 00:19:11,607 --> 00:19:13,400 Know what… Know what, Morty? 299 00:19:13,484 --> 00:19:15,611 I'm not going back there ever. 300 00:19:15,694 --> 00:19:17,363 Stupid bowling. 301 00:19:17,446 --> 00:19:20,741 Bottle-shooting morons. Idiot trophy. 302 00:19:20,824 --> 00:19:22,785 Aw, wait, no, you don't wanna keep some of these? 303 00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:24,536 You look so happy. 304 00:19:25,496 --> 00:19:28,666 - Don't shred me, Rick! - It's trash now, Morty! Drop it! 305 00:19:31,627 --> 00:19:34,129 I'm sorry I tried to shred you, Morty. 306 00:19:34,213 --> 00:19:37,549 Y-Y-You're a nice kid, a good boy. 307 00:19:37,633 --> 00:19:39,051 You should have your grandpa. 308 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:42,596 Not this… I'm-I'm too stupid, Morty. 309 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,431 Stupid Ted. 310 00:19:44,515 --> 00:19:46,517 If I were just a little bit smarter, I could… 311 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,102 I-I could figure it out. 312 00:19:48,185 --> 00:19:49,478 And be happy. 313 00:19:49,561 --> 00:19:50,938 I'm gonna push the button, Morty. 314 00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:52,606 I'm gonna do it for you. 315 00:19:53,649 --> 00:19:55,484 If that makes you feel better? 316 00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:57,027 Is he… 317 00:19:57,111 --> 00:19:58,654 Is he better at this? 318 00:19:58,737 --> 00:20:01,615 Rick? Um, yeah. 319 00:20:01,699 --> 00:20:03,492 Yeah, he is. You are. 320 00:20:03,575 --> 00:20:05,703 Don't-don't bullshit me, Morty. 321 00:20:05,786 --> 00:20:09,081 No, you're really smart, really important. 322 00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:13,127 You have a great family, and-and lots of friends. 323 00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:15,379 You're so happy. 324 00:20:15,462 --> 00:20:17,506 And we all really love you. 325 00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:18,757 Aw, fuck it. 326 00:20:28,142 --> 00:20:30,144 It… It didn't work? 327 00:20:30,853 --> 00:20:31,937 No. 328 00:20:32,771 --> 00:20:33,772 It did. 329 00:21:16,815 --> 00:21:20,027 We've always known you as a tourist on our little island. 330 00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:22,738 But now we're gonna know you as part of our family. 331 00:21:22,821 --> 00:21:25,115 I love you, Sallpock. 332 00:21:25,199 --> 00:21:26,700 Mush-mush-molock. 333 00:21:26,784 --> 00:21:28,827 I didn't think I was the kind of man… 334 00:21:30,412 --> 00:21:31,413 Sorry. I, um… 335 00:21:31,497 --> 00:21:33,332 We love you, Sallpock! 336 00:21:34,416 --> 00:21:39,463 Should anyone object, speak now or forever hold your peace. 337 00:21:39,546 --> 00:21:42,049 - Yeah, I object. - It's a rhetorical statement! 338 00:21:42,132 --> 00:21:44,384 Shouldn't we let it play out? He's not in danger. 339 00:21:44,468 --> 00:21:46,261 I've never seen these people before in my life. 340 00:21:46,345 --> 00:21:49,431 Okay, Grandpa Rick. Let's go. Vacation's over. 341 00:21:49,515 --> 00:21:51,558 It's not my vacation! It's my home! 342 00:21:53,268 --> 00:21:55,687 No, no! Let me go! No! 343 00:21:55,771 --> 00:21:56,980 Boom. Egged! 344 00:21:57,064 --> 00:21:58,565 It's okay. 345 00:21:58,649 --> 00:22:00,275 He's an alien who removes his intelligence 346 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:01,610 to hook up with locals. 347 00:22:01,693 --> 00:22:02,986 He likes that you're simple. 348 00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:04,488 He doesn't want to be known.