1
00:00:05,296 --> 00:00:08,882
Oh, Rick…

2
00:00:08,966 --> 00:00:12,886
You were right, Morty.

3
00:00:13,804 --> 00:00:18,017
Chili… was too… spicy.

4
00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:29,945
Estate sale is open!

5
00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:31,989
Get your Post-its out.
First come, first serve.

6
00:00:32,072 --> 00:00:34,908
If you see a Post-it,
the item has already been claimed.

7
00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:36,410
- Oh, yeah.
- Alright.

8
00:00:36,493 --> 00:00:38,245
Hey, nice office chair.

9
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:39,997
Hatchi-matchi.

10
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,457
Pretty ghoulish, don't you think?

11
00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:43,125
We just get to take anything we want?

12
00:00:43,208 --> 00:00:45,836
Morty, they're dead. You wanna be
buried with your porn magazines?

13
00:00:45,919 --> 00:00:47,212
Magazines?

14
00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:49,173
What's a "magazines," old man?

15
00:00:49,256 --> 00:00:51,800
Fuck you, Morty.
Go practice your pronouns.

16
00:00:52,593 --> 00:00:55,387
Whoa! An in-ground
two-post vehicle lift?

17
00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:57,806
You could park a motorcycle
on this bad boy

18
00:00:57,890 --> 00:00:59,391
and rotate it any which way.

19
00:00:59,975 --> 00:01:01,643
- I put my Post-it on it first.
- Stop!

20
00:01:01,727 --> 00:01:03,645
- No, no, I did!
- I come from a water planet.

21
00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:05,898
- I should get the snorkel.
- If you're from a water planet,

22
00:01:05,981 --> 00:01:07,399
why do you need a snorkel?

23
00:01:11,236 --> 00:01:14,114
These estate sales
are lame AF, am I right?

24
00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:16,116
- Yeah.
- I came to funeral hop,

25
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,702
but there aren't any Smiths left
to hold a funeral.

26
00:01:18,786 --> 00:01:20,287
Wait, funeral hop?

27
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,748
Oh, shit. You gotta try it, dude.

28
00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:26,502
Some version of your mom,
your dad, bawling their eyes out

29
00:01:26,585 --> 00:01:28,796
and saying the nicest shit
you've ever heard.

30
00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:30,506
But can't happen
when the whole family

31
00:01:30,589 --> 00:01:31,799
checks out at the same time.

32
00:01:31,882 --> 00:01:34,051
Your Rick brings you
to your own funerals?

33
00:01:34,134 --> 00:01:36,303
Nah, dawg, I drive myself.

34
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:39,056
- Whoa.
- You don't got a Portal Jr.?

35
00:01:39,139 --> 00:01:40,724
Shit. Bunch of us have one.

36
00:01:40,808 --> 00:01:42,434
Let's see, I bet…

37
00:01:43,811 --> 00:01:47,272
Bam. Pop a Post-it on that bad boy
before someone else does.

38
00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:49,942
Thanks. And cool sunglasses.

39
00:01:50,025 --> 00:01:51,693
Sunglasses?

40
00:01:51,777 --> 00:01:53,028
These are my eyes.

41
00:02:02,663 --> 00:02:04,706
Rick, you ever gone
to your own funeral?

42
00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:06,291
Is that new slang for taking a dump?

43
00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:08,293
- What? No.
- Well, I'm gonna start using it.

44
00:02:08,377 --> 00:02:11,046
Look, a Morty at the estate sale
was a funeral hopper, and…

45
00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:13,132
You can do better
than getting emotional hand jobs

46
00:02:13,215 --> 00:02:14,216
from a fake family.

47
00:02:14,299 --> 00:02:15,634
My real family is dead.

48
00:02:15,717 --> 00:02:17,511
Wow, what a zing. So is mine.

49
00:02:17,594 --> 00:02:19,805
The only thing that helps ease
the horror of existence

50
00:02:19,888 --> 00:02:21,723
is friction-free rotation.

51
00:02:21,807 --> 00:02:24,768
Did you buy a motorcycle
to justify the platform?

52
00:02:24,852 --> 00:02:26,478
Morty, it turns.

53
00:02:26,562 --> 00:02:28,605
Come on, man,
I'm asking for guidance.

54
00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:30,774
Do whatever you want.
It's your funeral.

55
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,542
Thank you.

56
00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:51,211
Big Legs Morty loved Ritchie Valens.

57
00:02:52,087 --> 00:02:55,549
And now his Big Legs Grandfather
is gonna say a few words.

58
00:02:55,632 --> 00:02:58,218
What? Let me grieve!

59
00:02:58,302 --> 00:02:59,636
You've been drunk all week.

60
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,890
Maybe if you had been sober,
you wouldn't have microwaved him.

61
00:03:02,973 --> 00:03:05,350
His big legs were wet!

62
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:06,727
I should have guessed.

63
00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:08,437
Wait! Big Legs Morty,

64
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,398
I should have done this
when you were alive.

65
00:03:13,901 --> 00:03:15,903
Oh, hell yeah!

66
00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:58,695
Well, I guess this is gonna be hard,

67
00:03:58,779 --> 00:04:00,531
but Mort loved to do hard things.

68
00:04:00,614 --> 00:04:02,991
So… we're gonna do this for him.

69
00:04:04,284 --> 00:04:07,329
How many of you here loved my son?

70
00:04:07,412 --> 00:04:08,580
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

71
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:10,332
- Yeah!
- I asked…

72
00:04:10,415 --> 00:04:13,961
how many of you here loved my son?

73
00:04:15,629 --> 00:04:16,630
Morty was my dawg!

74
00:04:16,713 --> 00:04:19,591
Maybe you loved him
because he was a leader,

75
00:04:19,675 --> 00:04:22,386
a scholar, an athlete.

76
00:04:23,095 --> 00:04:26,139
I loved him because he was mine.

77
00:04:26,223 --> 00:04:28,100
Because he was my son.

78
00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:29,393
We love you, Mort!

79
00:04:29,476 --> 00:04:31,228
Mort! Mort! Mort! Mort!

80
00:04:31,311 --> 00:04:36,233
When I die, I will kill God
for taking my boy!

81
00:04:37,109 --> 00:04:39,903
I don't approve of your promise,

82
00:04:39,987 --> 00:04:41,238
but I understand.

83
00:04:43,824 --> 00:04:46,868
Who will be there for me
now that you're gone?

84
00:04:49,871 --> 00:04:51,999
- Chesterfield?
- Oh, oh! No, no, no, no, no, no!

85
00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:54,501
Oh! Stop! Stop!

86
00:04:55,377 --> 00:04:56,378
Mort?

87
00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,922
Oh no.

88
00:04:59,006 --> 00:05:01,216
You guys have never seen
another Morty before.

89
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,679
Does that make sense?

90
00:05:05,762 --> 00:05:07,222
Shortest version is,

91
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:09,558
infinite mes, infinite yous.

92
00:05:09,641 --> 00:05:10,767
You want a grilled cheese?

93
00:05:10,851 --> 00:05:12,227
I want to make it for him.

94
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,353
And this thing?

95
00:05:13,437 --> 00:05:15,772
It's how I got here.
Rick made it for me.

96
00:05:15,856 --> 00:05:18,775
Not my Rick. It's a lot of canon.

97
00:05:18,859 --> 00:05:20,402
Where is Rick?

98
00:05:20,485 --> 00:05:23,030
I'm sorry to tell you this, but…

99
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:24,656
our Rick…

100
00:05:25,365 --> 00:05:27,492
is a drunk, Morty.

101
00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:30,662
Oh… no.

102
00:05:30,746 --> 00:05:32,331
We had to end
our relationship with him.

103
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:33,540
We tried everything to help,

104
00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:35,584
but ultimately,
he needed to help himself.

105
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,544
And he, like, listened?

106
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,004
This universe is wild.

107
00:05:39,087 --> 00:05:40,380
Just the way you like it.

108
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,842
Wow! So good.

109
00:05:43,925 --> 00:05:45,594
Don't suppose
there's any tomato soup.

110
00:05:45,677 --> 00:05:46,720
Holy shit!

111
00:05:46,803 --> 00:05:48,263
You guys are something else.

112
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:49,765
You should have met our Mort.

113
00:05:50,474 --> 00:05:53,101
Ray, like it or not,

114
00:05:53,185 --> 00:05:54,853
the bank's gonna take your farm.

115
00:05:54,936 --> 00:05:56,563
They will come, Ray.

116
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:57,939
Huh? Oh my gosh.

117
00:05:58,023 --> 00:05:59,941
My family's probably worried.

118
00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:02,444
- My other family.
- You're leaving?

119
00:06:02,527 --> 00:06:04,321
Summer, he's not ours to keep.

120
00:06:04,404 --> 00:06:05,697
I understand, Mort.

121
00:06:05,781 --> 00:06:07,240
I mean, Morty.

122
00:06:09,076 --> 00:06:10,452
Come back to us, kiddo.

123
00:06:10,535 --> 00:06:12,704
Whenever you want, you come back.

124
00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:19,419
Summer, stop live-streaming!

125
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,886
Where have you been? I've needed you
to hand me wrenches and stuff.

126
00:06:27,969 --> 00:06:29,471
Check this out.

127
00:06:29,554 --> 00:06:30,889
Wow, great.

128
00:06:30,972 --> 00:06:32,766
Huh? Ah! Oh, Rick!

129
00:06:32,849 --> 00:06:34,309
It's pulling my insides!

130
00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,228
You have too much metal
in you, dipshit.

131
00:06:37,604 --> 00:06:39,564
- I didn't put it there.
- So?

132
00:06:48,657 --> 00:06:49,783
- Oh, hey!
- Hey!

133
00:06:49,866 --> 00:06:51,159
Morty, you came back!

134
00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:53,453
Oh, geez. Good boy.

135
00:06:53,537 --> 00:06:55,330
That's a dog for ya.

136
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:56,957
My dog enslaved me,

137
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,250
but not this one.

138
00:06:58,834 --> 00:07:01,002
So I'm hanging out of the side
of the ship in space,

139
00:07:01,086 --> 00:07:02,504
holding the guitar that Rick wanted,

140
00:07:02,587 --> 00:07:04,464
but my eyes burst
from the pressure difference

141
00:07:04,548 --> 00:07:06,216
and I couldn't see
for, like, an hour.

142
00:07:06,299 --> 00:07:08,301
Oh, Morty,
you could have been killed.

143
00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:10,262
Oh, yeah, I was.

144
00:07:11,012 --> 00:07:13,765
You died? You die, and come back?

145
00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:15,559
The worst part
is waking up in the tube,

146
00:07:15,642 --> 00:07:17,018
where the fresh body is

147
00:07:17,102 --> 00:07:19,730
'cause you have to cough
all that fluid out of your lungs.

148
00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:21,773
You're saying where you come from,

149
00:07:21,857 --> 00:07:26,153
your grandfather lets you die
over and over again?

150
00:07:26,236 --> 00:07:28,447
What does your father say about this?

151
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,490
Who's a Mad Men?

152
00:07:30,574 --> 00:07:32,784
I'm a Mad Men

153
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:40,167
Oh my God! I made an owl.
This is incredible!

154
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,711
Too bad my big lathe
is up at the cabin.

155
00:07:42,794 --> 00:07:44,337
Built it with my dad.

156
00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:47,507
Then Mort helped me put up
the sleeping porch just last summer.

157
00:07:47,591 --> 00:07:49,342
Wish we could take you there
this weekend,

158
00:07:49,426 --> 00:07:51,720
but the gals are gonna be
at the soup kitchen and…

159
00:07:51,803 --> 00:07:55,265
I mean, we could head up there,
just the two of us?

160
00:07:55,348 --> 00:07:57,601
Really? You'd want to do that?

161
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,111
Don't you have any matches?

162
00:08:08,195 --> 00:08:09,863
A man who relies on matches

163
00:08:09,946 --> 00:08:12,407
gets pretty cold when he runs out.

164
00:08:13,283 --> 00:08:14,785
You feel like a steak?

165
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:19,998
Wait till the pan releases the meat.

166
00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:28,715
I feel like I've never learned
anything until now.

167
00:08:30,342 --> 00:08:33,345
And Mort, he's climbing so fast.

168
00:08:33,428 --> 00:08:37,057
When he loses his footing,
he's just silent as he falls

169
00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:39,601
until the crack of his body
hitting stone.

170
00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:43,063
Mort was so strong,

171
00:08:43,146 --> 00:08:45,148
but I wasn't strong enough
to save him.

172
00:08:45,232 --> 00:08:46,233
I'm so sorry.

173
00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,486
I know you're not my Mort,

174
00:08:49,569 --> 00:08:50,904
not really…

175
00:08:52,197 --> 00:08:53,782
but I love you just the same.

176
00:08:54,991 --> 00:08:57,077
I love you, Dad.

177
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,954
I wanna be your son.

178
00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:01,081
I am your son.

179
00:09:05,418 --> 00:09:06,837
Then break the gun.

180
00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:09,756
- What?
- This isn't one of your adventures.

181
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,675
It can be your life.

182
00:09:11,758 --> 00:09:14,177
- But what if I need to…
- What could you need that isn't here?

183
00:09:14,261 --> 00:09:16,054
A family that doesn't appreciate you?

184
00:09:16,137 --> 00:09:18,765
A resurrection machine
that makes infinite grandpas?

185
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:21,184
You need to turn
into a fucking giraffe?

186
00:09:21,268 --> 00:09:22,269
Do it!

187
00:09:24,479 --> 00:09:25,480
Hey!

188
00:09:27,607 --> 00:09:30,026
- Oh my God!
- Yes! I love you!

189
00:09:31,361 --> 00:09:33,572
I tried to make my son strong.

190
00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:35,907
So strong he would never die!

191
00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:46,877
I just wanna keep you safe!

192
00:09:48,044 --> 00:09:50,005
Mort? Mort.

193
00:09:50,797 --> 00:09:51,798
Mort?

194
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:54,009
Mort!

195
00:09:54,968 --> 00:09:56,303
Come back.

196
00:10:01,391 --> 00:10:03,935
Dad wants me to free solo El Capitan.

197
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:05,061
He's crazy.

198
00:10:05,145 --> 00:10:06,855
He wants me to be able
to survive anything.

199
00:10:07,439 --> 00:10:08,940
My only hope's to run away.

200
00:10:09,816 --> 00:10:11,067
Thank you, Mort.

201
00:10:43,683 --> 00:10:46,102
And we're left
with a radical non-duality.

202
00:10:46,186 --> 00:10:48,271
The universe is not locally real.

203
00:10:48,355 --> 00:10:50,815
Which means nothing matters.

204
00:10:50,899 --> 00:10:54,653
Or… everything does!

205
00:10:54,736 --> 00:10:57,322
Moral universe, let's go!

206
00:10:57,822 --> 00:10:59,282
I fucking knew it.

207
00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:01,785
The Central Finite Curve,
portal travel, all of it.

208
00:11:01,868 --> 00:11:03,703
Of course there's infinite Mortys

209
00:11:03,787 --> 00:11:05,872
because there's
infinite worlds, Morty,

210
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,540
and infinite mes!

211
00:11:07,624 --> 00:11:09,417
Am I cool in most worlds?

212
00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:11,378
- Oh!
- Mr. Sanchez?

213
00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:13,505
Oh, sorry I frighten you.

214
00:11:13,588 --> 00:11:14,839
I am from Russia.

215
00:11:16,341 --> 00:11:17,509
Who is hunting you?

216
00:11:17,592 --> 00:11:19,636
Jerry? I don't know.
Maybe all of them?

217
00:11:19,719 --> 00:11:21,054
I just wanna go home.

218
00:11:21,137 --> 00:11:24,975
I thought there was a better version
of my family for me, but I was wrong.

219
00:11:25,058 --> 00:11:26,685
Do you think you could make this?

220
00:11:26,768 --> 00:11:29,145
Oh, Morty, I would love to help you,

221
00:11:29,229 --> 00:11:31,481
but that thing almost destroyed me.

222
00:11:31,564 --> 00:11:33,817
Salieri to infinite Mozarts.

223
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:36,778
Do you guys not have Mozart?

224
00:11:36,861 --> 00:11:39,114
Oh, Morty, we gotta watch Amadeus.

225
00:11:39,197 --> 00:11:41,366
Shit. I'm late. I gotta do a thing.

226
00:11:41,449 --> 00:11:43,785
Do you wanna come with me?

227
00:11:45,203 --> 00:11:46,913
Hey. Hey, everybody.

228
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,832
My name's Rick. I'm an alcoholic.

229
00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:50,041
- Hi, Rick.
- Hi, Rick.

230
00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:51,835
I know this is an old story
to a lot of you,

231
00:11:51,918 --> 00:11:54,045
but most of us have destroyed
our memories with alcohol,

232
00:11:54,129 --> 00:11:55,296
so it'll be like new.

233
00:11:55,922 --> 00:11:58,675
Back before, I had a wife,
I had a family.

234
00:11:58,758 --> 00:12:00,927
My daughter, Beth, she was a terror,

235
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:03,346
but she was my heart, my whole heart.

236
00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:05,890
I'd always like to get wrecked
every now and again,

237
00:12:05,974 --> 00:12:07,851
but Diane kept it under control.

238
00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:10,937
And then one day,
she was just… gone.

239
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:13,189
I was so deep in my work,
I barely noticed.

240
00:12:13,273 --> 00:12:14,441
And that's when…

241
00:12:14,524 --> 00:12:17,068
You know how that feels
when you really start to drink?

242
00:12:17,152 --> 00:12:18,987
- Oh yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

243
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:20,488
Beth was so little.

244
00:12:20,572 --> 00:12:22,824
I blew it with her.

245
00:12:22,907 --> 00:12:25,618
She grew up though, and married
somebody who took one look at me

246
00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:27,287
and said, "Not in my house."

247
00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:30,373
Fuck, I hate that guy.
But he was right.

248
00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:32,250
I hated him enough to end up here.

249
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,170
My first meeting was 17 years ago.

250
00:12:35,253 --> 00:12:37,797
Seventeen years since I spoke
to my daughter.

251
00:12:38,506 --> 00:12:40,592
But I'm here and I'm happy.

252
00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:42,761
That's possible for all of us.

253
00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:45,430
You just have to find somebody
who believes in you.

254
00:12:47,932 --> 00:12:51,186
My students were assholes today,
so I'm cooking stew.

255
00:12:51,269 --> 00:12:52,562
Oh, hello.

256
00:12:52,645 --> 00:12:53,772
Who's this handsome fellow?

257
00:12:53,855 --> 00:12:54,898
You might wanna sit down.

258
00:12:54,981 --> 00:12:56,775
Oh, Rick.

259
00:12:56,858 --> 00:12:58,568
He has your eyes.

260
00:12:59,444 --> 00:13:00,904
So you must go home,

261
00:13:00,987 --> 00:13:03,239
and you must find a way
to get him there.

262
00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:04,699
It's not that simple.

263
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:07,869
But you are a good man,
so maybe it is simple.

264
00:13:07,952 --> 00:13:09,412
Morty, will you have more stew?

265
00:13:09,496 --> 00:13:10,497
Yes, please.

266
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:12,373
My love, don't forget.

267
00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:14,751
- Wow, she's…
- She's incredible.

268
00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:16,711
So she's a fuckbot?

269
00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,963
Jesus Christ, Morty, she's my wife!

270
00:13:19,047 --> 00:13:21,091
- She's a human woman.
- Oh, geez.

271
00:13:21,174 --> 00:13:24,010
I guess I didn't realize
you could love anything. My bad.

272
00:13:25,762 --> 00:13:27,180
Have you seen this boy?

273
00:13:27,263 --> 00:13:28,848
Ah, we see a lot of people
through here.

274
00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:30,475
One time, I saw a horse buy a ticket.

275
00:13:30,558 --> 00:13:32,185
Some kind of promotion
for a kind of horse food.

276
00:13:32,268 --> 00:13:33,978
Don't know about that, but…
Oh, you never forget a face

277
00:13:34,062 --> 00:13:35,230
as sweet as that right there.

278
00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:36,815
Oh, yeah.
I seen him headed to Boston.

279
00:13:36,898 --> 00:13:38,525
Sure as sunlight
and right as rain, I…

280
00:13:38,608 --> 00:13:39,943
Hey, where you going?

281
00:13:41,319 --> 00:13:42,320
Found him.

282
00:13:43,363 --> 00:13:46,366
I'm gonna love
that little guy so hard.

283
00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:48,451
You okay, buddy?

284
00:13:48,535 --> 00:13:50,203
He's gonna find me
and tie me to a pole

285
00:13:50,286 --> 00:13:51,746
and hug me until I throw up.

286
00:13:53,164 --> 00:13:55,083
I'll be trapped here forever!

287
00:13:55,166 --> 00:13:56,376
I'll get you home, okay?

288
00:13:56,459 --> 00:13:58,586
I'll make a portal and get you home.

289
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:02,799
Are you gonna call me
a piece of shit now?

290
00:14:02,882 --> 00:14:03,883
What?

291
00:14:11,724 --> 00:14:13,101
- Eh?
- Oh!

292
00:14:28,199 --> 00:14:29,367
Fucking shit.

293
00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,244
You'll get it. You've got this.

294
00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:04,569
I know you're gonna get it.

295
00:15:04,652 --> 00:15:07,363
If God doesn't want me
to praise him with inventions,

296
00:15:07,447 --> 00:15:09,199
why implant the desire?

297
00:15:09,282 --> 00:15:12,327
- Everything okay out here?
- Fuck! Just let me work.

298
00:15:15,496 --> 00:15:17,332
She's gonna leave.

299
00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:18,791
They all leave.

300
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:21,252
You know,
you didn't drive Diane away.

301
00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:23,463
It wasn't your work or your drinking.

302
00:15:23,546 --> 00:15:25,215
It just happened, everywhere.

303
00:15:25,298 --> 00:15:26,549
To every Rick.

304
00:15:26,633 --> 00:15:28,343
- Wha…
- It wasn't your fault.

305
00:15:28,426 --> 00:15:30,803
Most Ricks never got this far
with portal stuff.

306
00:15:30,887 --> 00:15:32,388
They took a shortcut.

307
00:15:32,472 --> 00:15:34,265
But I believe in you.

308
00:15:35,141 --> 00:15:37,268
I can feel it, Uli. I'm so close.

309
00:15:37,352 --> 00:15:39,187
Yeah, close to losing another wife!

310
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:41,564
I've become tepid. I want to boil!

311
00:15:41,648 --> 00:15:42,815
You can sleep on the couch.

312
00:15:42,899 --> 00:15:44,234
I'm done sleeping.

313
00:15:46,903 --> 00:15:49,030
This is what yours is like?

314
00:15:49,113 --> 00:15:50,907
It's the only way I can get home.

315
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:53,076
Where on God's Earth
did a 14-year-old boy

316
00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:54,869
learn this kind of mind poisoning?

317
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:57,372
From your husband, infinitely.

318
00:15:57,455 --> 00:15:59,332
He belongs more to me than to you.

319
00:16:05,004 --> 00:16:07,298
Professor Sanchez
hasn't shown up for days.

320
00:16:07,382 --> 00:16:10,426
Well, he's my father,
and I'm worried about him.

321
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:11,594
We just need his address.

322
00:16:11,678 --> 00:16:13,554
You don't have
your own father's address?

323
00:16:14,222 --> 00:16:16,266
I was just asking a question.

324
00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:18,476
You're right. It's personal.

325
00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,728
Summer, the files.

326
00:16:20,812 --> 00:16:23,439
I'm in. Also gonna approve myself
for early admission,

327
00:16:23,523 --> 00:16:26,025
just in case I decide to go
to this fucking nerd school.

328
00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:28,987
I'm gonna get my boy
and put him on a leash.

329
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,114
A leash? What's up with your family?

330
00:16:31,197 --> 00:16:33,491
Oh, you're right, it's personal.

331
00:16:35,326 --> 00:16:37,412
Morty. I figured it out, Morty.

332
00:16:37,495 --> 00:16:39,706
Morty, come on, we're gonna…
we're gonna…

333
00:16:39,789 --> 00:16:41,207
gonna get some stuff, Morty.

334
00:16:44,085 --> 00:16:46,379
Rick, it's the middle of the night.

335
00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:54,220
Come on, I'm working.

336
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,347
It's helping me think.

337
00:16:56,431 --> 00:16:58,349
Do you wanna go talk to her?

338
00:16:58,433 --> 00:17:00,101
Fuck that. She's…

339
00:17:00,184 --> 00:17:03,313
There's a multiverse of her
out there, right, Morty?

340
00:17:03,396 --> 00:17:04,939
We gotta… we gotta…

341
00:17:06,274 --> 00:17:08,026
Are you gonna get in trouble?

342
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:10,653
I got tenure, Morty.
They can't fire me.

343
00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:13,948
I built this place with my dick
and hammered it with my balls.

344
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,700
Wouldn't a dick be a better hammer?

345
00:17:15,783 --> 00:17:17,702
You're right, Morty.
Balls are too soft.

346
00:17:17,785 --> 00:17:19,829
Grab some… Anything.

347
00:17:19,912 --> 00:17:22,081
- Grab anything.
- Mr. Sanchez. Is that…

348
00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:26,252
Oh my God, Rick.

349
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:27,712
The problem is morals, Morty.

350
00:17:27,795 --> 00:17:30,298
Ethics. I was scared
of the gray areas.

351
00:17:30,381 --> 00:17:31,632
But now…

352
00:17:33,176 --> 00:17:34,552
I can live in them.

353
00:17:34,635 --> 00:17:35,845
I'm gonna get you home.

354
00:17:35,928 --> 00:17:37,722
You small, little…

355
00:17:37,805 --> 00:17:39,140
You little guy.

356
00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:44,979
Hej då, Rick.

357
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:48,941
They told me I was crazy.
But now, now who's crazy?

358
00:17:49,025 --> 00:17:50,902
- They are!
- That's right!

359
00:17:51,986 --> 00:17:53,613
- Rick!
- I did it!

360
00:17:56,991 --> 00:17:59,786
Oh, man. I'm gonna miss you, Rick.

361
00:17:59,869 --> 00:18:01,496
I can come visit you, Morty.

362
00:18:01,579 --> 00:18:03,081
We got a doorway!

363
00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:04,415
And now that
I don't have a dumb wife,

364
00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:05,750
I have all the time in the world.

365
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,377
I can go on adventures, Morty.

366
00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:09,003
We! We could go on adventures.

367
00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:12,548
Yeah. You're sure
I didn't ruin your life?

368
00:18:12,632 --> 00:18:13,800
You saved me.

369
00:18:13,883 --> 00:18:15,051
And so did this.

370
00:18:15,134 --> 00:18:16,761
Because alcohol is good, Morty.

371
00:18:16,844 --> 00:18:18,888
It's not evil.
Everyone should drink it.

372
00:18:18,971 --> 00:18:21,099
Wait till I tell the guys at AA.

373
00:18:21,182 --> 00:18:22,183
All right, off you go.

374
00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:24,435
Let go of my son!

375
00:18:24,519 --> 00:18:25,812
Fucking Jerry!

376
00:18:25,895 --> 00:18:27,397
Morty, please don't go in there.

377
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,774
We didn't mean to come on so strong.
We just love you.

378
00:18:29,857 --> 00:18:31,109
Honey, you can stay here

379
00:18:31,192 --> 00:18:33,236
where you don't get thrown into space

380
00:18:33,319 --> 00:18:34,487
and have to die all the time.

381
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:35,780
What the hell is this thing?

382
00:18:35,863 --> 00:18:38,074
Have you even tested it?
You're drunk!

383
00:18:38,157 --> 00:18:39,992
You're gonna let a child
go through that?

384
00:18:40,076 --> 00:18:42,161
The science is sound, dick. Watch.

385
00:18:46,374 --> 00:18:48,042
- He's still breathing.
- That's worse!

386
00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:53,047
I've always fucking hated you!

387
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:55,550
I hate you
in every conceivable reality.

388
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:57,802
- Kill him!
- Fucking shoot!

389
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:02,598
Oh my God!

390
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:06,561
Jerry!

391
00:19:08,896 --> 00:19:10,231
Oh my God!

392
00:19:10,314 --> 00:19:11,941
Summer!

393
00:19:14,902 --> 00:19:16,779
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

394
00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:26,539
No!

395
00:19:48,227 --> 00:19:50,480
Estate sale is open!

396
00:19:50,563 --> 00:19:52,815
Get your Post-its out.
First come, first serve.

397
00:19:52,899 --> 00:19:55,359
If you see a Post-it,
the item has already been claimed.

398
00:19:55,443 --> 00:19:57,778
Check it out, Seahorse Morty,
it's a fish gun.

399
00:19:57,862 --> 00:19:59,947
This guy had some cool stuff
for a basic Rick,

400
00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:02,867
and I would know because
I'm defined by my cool shorts.

401
00:20:04,452 --> 00:20:06,120
Oh, Jesus Christ.

402
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:07,455
- Rick?
- 'Sup?

403
00:20:07,538 --> 00:20:09,499
None of this stuff is any good.
Let's go home.

404
00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:12,084
Damn, you look like shit.

405
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:13,669
Was the funeral that good?

406
00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:18,090
Oh shit, a long-neck dog gun?

407
00:20:18,174 --> 00:20:19,592
Let's fucking go!

408
00:20:22,178 --> 00:20:24,347
Woof, woof, woof, woof
woof, woof, woof!

409
00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:27,850
Hey. You okay?

410
00:20:27,934 --> 00:20:30,061
Yeah. I love you.

411
00:20:30,144 --> 00:20:31,854
All right. No need to get weird.

412
00:20:31,938 --> 00:20:33,189
You're in my sun.

413
00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:37,568
So the hat was not a hit today.

414
00:20:37,652 --> 00:20:42,573
But maybe it will be tomorrow

415
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:51,541
Morty, Morty, Morty,

416
00:20:51,624 --> 00:20:53,543
I gotta show you…
I gotta show you something, Morty.

417
00:20:53,626 --> 00:20:56,087
Rick, it's the middle of the night.
I just wanna sleep.

418
00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:58,256
I'll call in a bomb threat
at your school. Come on.

419
00:20:59,507 --> 00:21:01,259
Hey, I took your note, Morty.

420
00:21:01,342 --> 00:21:03,594
I fixed the magnets.
You ready to ride?

421
00:21:03,678 --> 00:21:06,514
Let's go on a hero's journey, Morty!

422
00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:09,308
- Take the wheel.
- But I'm behind you.

423
00:21:09,392 --> 00:21:11,269
Take the wheel.
I'll tell you when to turn.

424
00:21:11,352 --> 00:21:13,771
I'm like… I'm your dad, Morty.

425
00:21:13,854 --> 00:21:15,439
I'm your fucking dad.

426
00:21:15,523 --> 00:21:17,108
It's fucking me, Morty!

427
00:21:17,191 --> 00:21:18,859
Yeah, you're my dad.

428
00:21:18,943 --> 00:21:20,069
I'm your son.

429
00:21:20,152 --> 00:21:21,946
You're my son!

430
00:21:55,271 --> 00:21:56,314
DNA scans clear.

431
00:21:56,397 --> 00:21:57,857
Ooh-wee!

432
00:21:57,940 --> 00:21:59,066
What a season.

433
00:21:59,150 --> 00:22:01,485
Amy figured out what I was up to,

434
00:22:01,569 --> 00:22:03,404
and now she's gonna use my DNA

435
00:22:03,487 --> 00:22:05,698
to make a multiverse waypoint…

436
00:22:05,781 --> 00:22:08,117
And get my fucking husband back!

437
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,911
Activate fourth-dimensional
thrusters!

438
00:22:16,459 --> 00:22:20,087
I assume all the shaking
is unintentional?

439
00:22:20,171 --> 00:22:21,464
Oh my God!

440
00:22:21,547 --> 00:22:22,757
Abort! Abort!

441
00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:25,885
That's never good.

442
00:22:25,968 --> 00:22:27,845
Ooh-wee!

443
00:22:32,892 --> 00:22:34,310
Did you get any of that?