1 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:27,486 This way. 2 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,140 Oh. So sorry. 3 00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,517 I— sorry. 4 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:02,186 I was looking at that guy. 5 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,439 - What guy? - He's not there, he was right— 6 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,607 - I don't know. - What'd he look like? 7 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,900 He was wet. 8 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,403 - He was a wet guy? - Mm-hmm. 9 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:13,155 Professor Shepard said to wait here in front of Cabot Hall. 10 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:16,617 Did she say how long to wait? Because I think we are supposed to start— 11 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:19,871 Ah, okay. I'll just stand here then. 12 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,833 - Nice mustache, jerk. - I can hear you. 13 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:26,335 Yeah, I know, I know. 14 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,045 - No, I didn't. I'm sorry, I— - Mr. Russo? 15 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,172 Yes. Greg, please. 16 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,716 Professor Shepard? 17 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:32,883 - Dylan. - Dylan. Right, right. 18 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,511 Hey, hey. Thank you, Eric. 19 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,515 Eric did a great job picking me up. He left. 20 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,516 You ready to rock and roll? 21 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,518 Nope. 22 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,936 Oh, yuck, there I am. 23 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,896 - I don't love these readings. I don't. - Yep, that's you. 24 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:50,735 I get so self-conscious, and I can't, I can't... 25 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,570 Oh, no, you can't read? 26 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:55,072 Oh, if you come to a big word, just sound it out. 27 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,033 I write books that you're supposed to read at the beach. 28 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,243 They are light, they are fun. 29 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,828 Characters that you like have sex, 30 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,496 the ones that you don't get shot in the face. 31 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,332 - What? - At a stuffy college like this, 32 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,750 these kids aren't looking for fun. 33 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,710 - They're looking for depth. - Hey. I teach a class 34 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,254 about the poetry of Bad Bunny. You'll be fine, okay? 35 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,756 What's a bad bunny? 36 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,466 - Let's do this. - Okay. 37 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,427 "Rooster didn't mean to shoot Eduardo in the face, 38 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,095 "but there it was. 39 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:22,141 "One perfect bullet hole right below his eye. 40 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,686 "That night, Rooster drifted to sleep in a beach chair. 41 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:29,315 "Luckily, the first thing he saw when he woke was Margo, 42 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,735 "smiling as she floated towards him 43 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,656 in the shimmering morning heat." 44 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,537 See? Wasn't so bad. 45 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,000 Okay, we have time for a few questions. 46 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,379 Okay. Ronni, go ahead. 47 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,214 Mr. Russo, first, I want to thank you for coming 48 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,257 - and giving us your time. - Oh, my pleasure. 49 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,592 - No, really, thank you. - Oh, thank you. 50 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,177 Appreciate it. What was your question? 51 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,054 Why do you hate women? 52 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:04,517 Wow, I don't— I— That's a fun way to start. 53 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,812 Easy answer. I don't hate women. 54 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:11,941 "Mango was Rooster's favorite flavor besides Margo herself." 55 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,442 So here, you're comparing the taste 56 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,736 of a woman's vagina to a Popsicle. 57 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,781 I did not know I was doing that. 58 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,284 Well, you also say that she "smelled like birthday cake." 59 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,953 What was your thought process when you wrote that? 60 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,289 I... I must have been hungry. 61 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,084 Here's the thing. 62 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:33,045 I don't see Margo as a sex object. 63 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,132 Yes, she and Rooster 64 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,050 - do have sex a few times— - Sixteen times. 65 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,552 Okay, good, you counted. 66 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,679 I mean, 17, if you include the oral sex. 67 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,141 Have to include that, right? 68 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,392 Yeah, let's include it. 69 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,811 For what it's worth, the character of Margo 70 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,480 is based on a woman I used to be married to. 71 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:56,652 So, yes, she is sexy and beautiful, but she is also smart and brave. 72 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,112 That feeds into my question. 73 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:01,991 You know the part where Margo saves Rooster from the drug smugglers? 74 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,576 Exactly, she's very brave in that moment. 75 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,786 Well, especially since she took off her bikini 76 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,538 and did it all topless. 77 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,331 Yes. 78 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,084 She had to make a tourniquet. 79 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,878 What was your question? 80 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,629 - That was hot. - Smokeshow. 81 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:18,883 Alright, great question. Anybody else? 82 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,427 Ronni, you've had your turn. 83 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,472 Hey, Cristle. Is he back? 84 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,849 He's here. He's very excited. 85 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,436 My gosh. I mean, my gosh. 86 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,189 Just outstanding. 87 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,982 - Oh. - Not sure if you've officially met 88 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,275 our president, Walter Mann. 89 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,777 I was already a fan, 90 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,988 but absolutely loved the way you handled that Ronni. 91 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,531 Well, I hope I didn't make her feel bad. 92 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,200 Ah, who cares? 93 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,035 Nobody makes these kids feel bad anymore. 94 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,205 Let me tell you something. Life is hard. 95 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,040 - And we are teaching these kids... - Hello. 96 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,416 exactly squat. 97 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,585 - Hmm. - It's out of control, am I right? 98 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,504 Actually, I think it's refreshing that young people are— 99 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,214 Oh, thank you, Cristle. You're done. 100 00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:00,090 Off you go. Please tell Dean Riggs 101 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,593 - I will meet him at the gym. - Fine. 102 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,720 Thank you for tolerating me. 103 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,138 We're not speaking. 104 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,723 - Bye, Greg! - She seems nice. 105 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,393 It's Crissle, yes? There's no T? 106 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,437 - There's a T. - There's a T. 107 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,105 - Oh. - Liberal arts colleges 108 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,816 used to be safe havens 109 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,317 for free thought, Greg. 110 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,194 When did you and I become the bad guys? 111 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:21,570 Amen. What? 112 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,031 Populism is not very popular here. 113 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,491 I mean, take Dylan. I love her, 114 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,369 but it's no surprise that she hasn't read any of your books. 115 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,621 - What are you doing? - It's okay. 116 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:34,124 I actually haven't read any of your poetry, either. 117 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:37,586 It's funny, in your emails, you said you loved Dylan's poetry. 118 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,005 I did. I do love them. 119 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:43,092 Read all of them. I just didn't wanna make her feel bad. 120 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,218 Ah. 121 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,595 Happy? You got us both. 122 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,306 Unintentional. Just Walt being Walt. 123 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,724 Dylan, to be continued. 124 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,144 Greg, you give me a ten count and then join me. 125 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,107 Yes, he wants you to count to ten and, no, I don't know why. 126 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,276 Okay. 127 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,360 I'm gonna read your books. 128 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,112 Oh, no. Don't worry about it. 129 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,530 Nice meeting you, Greg. 130 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,241 Nice you— me also. 131 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,325 Okay. 132 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,412 What are you doing? 133 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,664 Okay. 134 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,750 Oh, boy. 135 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,085 That was barely eight there, Greg. 136 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,296 Do you need another 10 or 20 count? 137 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,339 - May I guess what you're thinking? - I doubt it. 138 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,050 Most college presidents are bookish shut-ins, 139 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,468 but this guy's jacked. 140 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,847 That's exactly what I was thinking. 141 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,016 I would have also accepted, "Wow!" 142 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:34,226 You know my secret? Hot sauna, cold plunge, 143 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,936 every goddamn day. 144 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,855 You get the same endorphins you get from cocaine, 145 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,773 only it lasts two hours instead of nine minutes. 146 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,860 - Plus, come here. - Scoot closer? 147 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,821 It releases the brown fat. 148 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,656 Well, you gotta release the brown fat. 149 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,534 - I knew you'd get it. - I'm glad that you think that I do. 150 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:55,080 Listen, I would be a bad dad if I didn't ask how Katie was doing, 151 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,000 and I know that you probably have heard about her and Archie. 152 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,543 You go to any campus in America, 153 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,295 and no marriage between two faculty members 154 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,005 has ever lasted more than a year and a half. 155 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:05,424 I can't believe that is true. 156 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,552 Well, it may not be factually true, but the spirit of it is. 157 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,887 Now, what about you? 158 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,931 - You ever think about teaching? - Oh, me? 159 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,849 Oh, no. No. 160 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,310 Not really. I didn't go to college. 161 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,561 Who cares? It's overrated. 162 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,146 Real— Okay. 163 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,815 I'm still looking for my writer-in-residence. 164 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,318 You say the word, gig's yours. 165 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,736 - Well— - Don't answer now. 166 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,446 Come back and tell me your decision before you leave. 167 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,866 I want you to go out and let this campus get its magic all over you. 168 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,035 - All over me? - Yeah, baby. 169 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,828 In the meantime, I'm gonna go to the gym 170 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,538 and throw some metal around. You care to join? 171 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,831 No, thanks. 172 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,708 - I'm gonna go see my kid. - Ah, good dad. 173 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,961 You tell that Katie that if it took a campus sex scandal 174 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,547 to finally get her old man up here, worth it. 175 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,549 Probably not gonna tell her that. 176 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,219 Thank you. Okay. Alright. 177 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,679 - Hey, Greg. - Yes? 178 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,932 - Thrilled you're here. - Good to see you. 179 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,195 With his water lilies, Monet eschewed tradition 180 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,531 and focused on the surface of the pond 181 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,033 at his home in Giverny. Beautiful, right? 182 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:16,121 Hard to believe, but actually conservators... 183 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,209 restored that exact painting with Q-tips and spit. 184 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,336 - Ew. - Okay, you can take 185 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,171 that slightly disgusting tidbit and get outta here. 186 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,965 But there is a paper due on Monday. 187 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,883 But there's a K-party this weekend. 188 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,927 - What is a K-party? - You don't wanna know. 189 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,137 I don't wanna know, okay. 190 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:36,598 If you feel like you need extra time on your paper, that is my dad. 191 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,392 Interacting with strangers makes him very uncomfortable. 192 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,853 So, if you want extra time, look him in the eye 193 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,605 and tell him that you love him, okay? 194 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,568 No. Please don't do it. 195 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,654 - I love you very much. - Okay. 196 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,240 See you. 197 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,493 Do you know what brown fat is? 198 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,412 Dad, I love that you're here, but I don't need you 199 00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,456 - to check up on me. - I'm not checking up on you. 200 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,999 They asked me to come and read. 201 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,625 Oh, come on, Dad, you hate this place. 202 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,753 They've asked you like a billion times. 203 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,796 - Just admit it. - I don't want to admit it, 204 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,049 because you will get mad. 205 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,260 - Everybody knows. - Knows what? 206 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,595 About Archie. 207 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,430 Everybody knows. This place is like a fishbowl. 208 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,140 - He knows. - He doesn't know. 209 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,059 Hey, excuse me. You know that my husband 210 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,186 left me to fuck a grad student, right? 211 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,687 Uh, I... 212 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,814 - Oh. - Answer honestly, 213 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,901 and I promise this moment is over for you. 214 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:29,860 - Yes. - Thank you. 215 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,278 You're welcome. 216 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,322 - See? - Okay. 217 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:36,867 You know, the worst part is everybody keeps asking me what happened. 218 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,577 I don't know what happened. 219 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,496 We were normal, and then the next thing I know, 220 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,289 he's with her, and I'm packing up 221 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,458 and moving into the dead hockey coach's house. 222 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,960 How did the hockey coach die? 223 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,170 I think he killed himself 224 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,089 because his father was focusing on the wrong part of the story. 225 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,175 I'm sorry. I'm back. It wasn't on the ice, was it? 226 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,219 - Dad. - I'm sorry. Go ahead. 227 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,845 I feel like everybody's looking at me all the time. 228 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,181 They're not looking at you. He wasn't looking at you. 229 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,724 Oh, yep, he just did. 230 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,434 I'm losing my grip, Dad, I hate it. 231 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,814 Honey, you're not losing your grip. You are strong. 232 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,816 Whoa! 233 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,360 Honey, why are we in the bushes? 234 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,071 Shh, that's them over there. 235 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,115 They eat their lunch here sometimes. 236 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,700 - So you're stalking them? - Mm... 237 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,370 - That's fine, hon. - They never even kiss. 238 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,622 And look at her, she's not like some model type. 239 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,707 She's just like a normal girl. 240 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,543 Oh, I just— It would make so much more sense to me 241 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,336 if she was special in some way. 242 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,547 Well, honey, maybe what makes her special 243 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,967 is on the inside, you know, who she is as a person. 244 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,885 - Are you fucking kidding me? - I'm sorry. 245 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,846 - What are you doing? - I'm in the bushes. 246 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,264 I'm off my game. 247 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,432 Look, hon. 248 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,768 There's something that I— wha... 249 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,270 Just look at me. 250 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,521 - Just look at me right now. - What? 251 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,897 Focus on what I'm saying, 252 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,817 - because I have something important— - No. 253 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,366 Shit. 254 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,077 Not many women get to be with their father 255 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,329 while they watch their husband make out with someone. 256 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,457 Yeah, we're pretty lucky. 257 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,459 Why would you come here? 258 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,170 I knew you'd be mad. 259 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,672 Don't. Katie. 260 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:21,930 No. No. 261 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,391 Nope. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 262 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,310 I wasn't watching you. 263 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:29,688 I was watching a couple behind you kissing. 264 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,148 - A straight couple. - Dude. 265 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,525 Not that that matters. It just— 266 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,693 - I'm just clarifying. - Yeah. 267 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:38,364 You don't have to take out your phone. That's— I'm outta here. 268 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,909 See you later! 269 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,337 Hey, there's that guy. 270 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,963 - You kicked ass today. - Oh. 271 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,257 Big fan, I love those Rooster books. I read 'em all. 272 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,092 Oh, thank you. 273 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,011 You're the... 274 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,595 the bikini kid. 275 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:02,847 Oh, Tommy Newton. 276 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,769 Oh, shit. I forgot my wallet. Stupid. 277 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,145 - No, no, no. Give me that. - Really? 278 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,022 - I got you. - Oh, sweet. 279 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,274 Wait, I'ma get some chips too, then. 280 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,859 I'm just kidding. Very kind, thanks. 281 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,611 It's okay. Got ya. 282 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,738 - Again, I really appreciate it. - No problem. There you go. 283 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,989 - Sweet. - Enjoy it. 284 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,242 Bonjour, mes amis. 285 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,369 - Hello. - I said "hello" in French 286 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,704 because I am betting that you are from Paris, 287 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:31,083 where they let kids drink wine and babies smoke cigarettes. 288 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,503 But here in America, the legal drinking age is 21. 289 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,629 You're not 21? 290 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,590 - Not yet. - Okay, officer. 291 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,801 He said that he forgot his wallet. 292 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,887 - He offered to buy me beer. - Are you kidding me? 293 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,889 Kind of an age-old story, isn't it? 294 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,558 Kid gives you 20 bucks, you go inside and get him some beer. 295 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,395 - I don't need 20 bucks. - Okay, money buckets. 296 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,188 There's other reasons you might do it. 297 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,357 What, for like a blowjob in the alley? 298 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,566 What? 299 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,152 - F— oh. - No. 300 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:03,198 I was thinking that you might do it because he seems like a good kid. 301 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,200 Yes, yes, yes. That makes much more sense. 302 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:09,162 But now, I got this blowjob thing stuck in my head, 303 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,998 - and either you're giving it to him... - No, no. 304 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:11,915 or he's giving it to you, 305 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,000 - but either way... - Nobody's giving anyone 306 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,751 - a blowjob, Officer! - ... that's all I can see right now. 307 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,962 - No, no, it was just a stupid remark. - No. No, no, no, no, no. 308 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,298 No, you don't just say something like that unless you're thinking it. 309 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,590 - Yeah, I agree. - Yes. 310 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,468 I disagree. I wholeheartedly disagree. 311 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,179 Tommy Newton, come on. 312 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,600 He didn't do anything, I tricked him. 313 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:31,643 There you go. 314 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,645 Alright. 315 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,732 Leave the beer and get outta here. 316 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,194 Thanks for being a good kid. 317 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,280 Even if it was just right at the end. 318 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,198 I'm gonna go ahead and take these from you. 319 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,616 Oh, okay. 320 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,786 Stay out of the alleys. 321 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,001 Okay. 322 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,893 Yeah. Fuck it. 323 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,287 Oh, fuck. 324 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,331 Oh! Shh! 325 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:37,084 Hey, kiddo, sorry about before. 326 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,294 Are you really gonna make me eat dinner by myself? 327 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,838 Huh? Call me. 328 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,840 - Hey, Margaret. - Hey. 329 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,180 Katie? 330 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,724 Hey. 331 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,644 I'm walking the dog. 332 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,857 He only shits in this yard, so... 333 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,072 Excuse me. 334 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,991 - How is your house Chardonnay? - Tastes like shit. 335 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,077 Great. I'll have one Chardonnay. 336 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,371 - Chardonnay? Oh. - Oh, hi. 337 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:15,997 - What are you doing here? - Get a real drink. 338 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,875 - Excuse me? - You wanna sit here by yourself, fine. 339 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,503 You wanna join me, you need to get a little more self-destructive. 340 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,255 - Okay. - Tequila Blanco. 341 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,549 Rocks. Splash of lime. 342 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,426 Alright, yeah. Make that two. 343 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,469 - Sure. - Can I at least get more nuts? 344 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,054 Did you eat that whole bowl? 345 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,557 We're good with the nuts. 346 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,809 Listen, I don't see what the problem is. 347 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,186 She's never even taught before. 348 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,563 You pulled some strings. 349 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,606 You got your friend a job. I think it's nice. 350 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,984 What if she sucks and Walt fires her? 351 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,653 Worst-case scenario. 352 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,863 It goes horribly. She blames you. 353 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:51,533 Something breaks deep inside of her, and she shoots you in the face. 354 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,743 I will fuck you up. 355 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,579 You know, I pretended it was for her. 356 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,832 She had just gotten a divorce. I said, "Oh, you need a change." 357 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:02,169 But it wasn't for her. It was for me. 358 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,922 I just feel so isolated. 359 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,632 And, look, I've been here for a minute. 360 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,760 A few friends didn't get tenure and split. 361 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,888 I've already dated everybody worth dating. 362 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:16,224 And I said "I love you" once, but I took it back. 363 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,059 - You can do that? - You can. 364 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,395 But they get really mad. 365 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:26,902 You ever been completely surrounded by people 366 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,612 and still felt utterly alone? 367 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,823 Yeah, for about 25 years. 368 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,366 I was married. 369 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,285 - Right. - Right, oh yeah. 370 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:39,289 - To the school's most celebrated alum. - Yes. 371 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,916 Actually, you would love her. 372 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,043 You'd love Elizabeth. 373 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:43,961 When we were married... 374 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,838 there were always so many people around. 375 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:52,552 And when we split up, those same people were the ones to say 376 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:56,891 that we never made sense together, because she was so far out of my league. 377 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,520 And for a long time, I felt they were right. 378 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:02,688 How long? 379 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,818 What is this all about? 380 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,320 Your key is bent. 381 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,239 Yeah, it's my house key. It doesn't always work. 382 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,407 Quit changing the subject. 383 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,494 Too long. 384 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,663 I felt that way for too long. 385 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,124 Want me to get us some more nuts? 386 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,793 So badly. 387 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,628 Excuse me. Can we get some more nuts? 388 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,549 - Would you like 'em warm? - Warm nuts? 389 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,675 They haven't even talked to each other. 390 00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:35,804 Archie is so gutless, he can't even look her in the eye 391 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,931 and explain what happened. 392 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,684 Know what I wanna do? I wanna go over there 393 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,770 and just tell him to man the heck up! 394 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,689 I think you gotta go with "man the fuck up." 395 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,108 - I love you. - Oh, hope you get an F. 396 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,985 - What was that? - That's a long story. 397 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:53,363 It doesn't matter, because if I talk to him, 398 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:54,906 - Katie would kill me. - No, she wouldn't. 399 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,283 She'll love you for it. 400 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,784 Ugh, I don't think so. 401 00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,537 I mean, she wouldn't tell you she loves you for it. 402 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,583 And then, she'll probably say she's mad at you. 403 00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,752 You didn't have to walk me all the way home. 404 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,796 Oh, well, I'm glad I did, though. 405 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,047 That was fun. 406 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,550 - Good night. - You wanna come in? 407 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,635 Hmm? 408 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,221 You wanna come in? 409 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,224 Okay, in two weeks, my friend is gonna be living right there. 410 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,477 And I love her, but she is always all up in my business. 411 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:29,692 So, probably no more fucking the guest speakers for me. 412 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,570 Wow. 413 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:36,531 I've never done this before. I'm just kidding. 414 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,242 - I know. - No, you didn't. 415 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,494 No, I did not know. 416 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:44,039 Oh. Do you know how old I am? 417 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,957 It's your lucky day, Grandpa. 418 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,377 Oh. 419 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,338 Oh! Oh! 420 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:54,759 Dylan, you are gorgeous. 421 00:18:55,676 --> 00:19:01,931 And funny, and so, so smart, that I feel even dumber than usual. 422 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,184 - But today has just been a day. - Okay, you can stop. 423 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,436 No, no, no, no! I was just saying, 424 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:08,813 maybe we could just stand out here and talk for a little while? 425 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,608 I really don't love talking to men who just rejected me— 426 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:12,942 I didn't reject you! 427 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,736 I just— I'm uncomfortable. 428 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:18,323 And it's not you. It's me— I'm— that's who— 429 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:21,202 That's what I am most of the time, always. 430 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:25,122 So, maybe we could have a drink? 431 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:29,793 Yeah? And kind of— kinda just see where it goes? 432 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:30,961 Okay. 433 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,216 Would you like to come in and have a drink? 434 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,386 I probably shouldn't. 435 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,180 What— Holy crap. 436 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,391 You just rejected me twice. 437 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,226 - Why would you do that? - I don't know. 438 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,019 I don't know why I do so many things. 439 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,312 - Good night. - No. 440 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,647 Wait. Dylan! Dylan! 441 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,190 - Dylan! - Come on. 442 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,693 Oh, the key. The curse of the bent key. 443 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,653 Come on, come on. Shit. 444 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,363 You could try it a little less psychotically. 445 00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,948 - Okay, please just go. - No, no, no. 446 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,200 I wouldn't be a gentleman unless I waited for you to— 447 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,494 Oh. 448 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,997 Okay. 449 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,754 Good night. 450 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,513 Hey, Bug, you sure you don't want me to drive you? 451 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,181 No, no, no, I got it. 452 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,435 Hey, well, how come you need to go to the dentist? 453 00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,644 Because I hurt my arm. 454 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,271 - That's a joke. - Relax. 455 00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:33,356 - I'll be back later. - Okay. 456 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,526 - Big push for a big girl. - Yeah, see ya. 457 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,487 - Eyes on the horizon. - Got it! 458 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,031 Hello, Guv! 459 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:44,160 Greg. Heard you were on campus. 460 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:45,995 Come on. 461 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,626 Just pop it on a coaster for me, will ya? 462 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,507 I understand that you're the first Russian Studies professor 463 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,468 to receive the Wallace Fellowship. 464 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:02,886 You don't care about my fellowship. 465 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,596 No. Nobody does. 466 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,015 Well, yeah, my friends talk about it quite a lot, so... 467 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,058 - Name one. - You don't know any of my friends. 468 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,685 Well, just throw a name out. 469 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:13,313 - Kevin. - I will bet you a million dollars 470 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,815 that you can't tell me Kevin's last name. 471 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:19,402 Listen, Greg, I know why you're here, alright? 472 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,029 You love Chekhov, right? 473 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:24,032 I was wrong. Yeah, I like Chekhov a bit, yeah. 474 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:27,536 Don't you have that stupid first edition Chekhov book that you're so proud of? 475 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,705 Tolstoy. It's the first edition 476 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:33,958 of War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. 477 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,585 Yes, I am rather proud of it. 478 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,962 It's probably one of the finest literary creations 479 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,756 any human being has ever made, so... 480 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,174 Why did you cheat on my daughter? 481 00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,009 Sounds like you wanna make love to that book. 482 00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:45,637 Okay. Could you just skip to the point, please, Greg? 483 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,515 No, because I thought that you loved Chekhov, 484 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,809 and I spent the morning researching him 485 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,936 - in preparation for this conversation— - For the love of God. 486 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:55,480 - Then, pretend that I am a fan of Chekhov. - Okay. 487 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,982 Listen, since you love Chekhov so much, 488 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,401 you obviously know that he said, 489 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:03,030 "No one must be humiliated." 490 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,240 I have been thinking about that a lot. 491 00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:06,866 How could you have been thinking about that a lot 492 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,368 if you only just read it this morning? 493 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:10,036 - Are you a detective? - Well... 494 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:12,080 My God! Look. 495 00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:16,377 You need to man the fucking heck up. 496 00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,963 Katie has been humiliated, and I think that you owe it to her. 497 00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:21,173 I love her. 498 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:25,845 I do, I love her. 499 00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,888 Then what are you doing, man? 500 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:30,266 I... 501 00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:35,479 I just— I got lost. 502 00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:42,652 We weren't getting along, and we drifted a bit, and I withdrew. 503 00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:45,238 And then along came Sunny, and the clouds— 504 00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:47,740 I'm cool not knowing anything about Sunny. 505 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,367 Look. 506 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,536 I am ready and willing to take the lion's share of the blame 507 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:52,954 with what happened between me and Katie. 508 00:22:52,955 --> 00:22:54,873 - You are a hero. - Thank you. 509 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,459 And also, your friend Kevin is not real. 510 00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:01,087 Katie and I both have things that we need to work on, 511 00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:04,132 and I want to do that work, Greg, 512 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:06,301 because she is still the most important thing 513 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,220 that's ever happened to me. 514 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,681 And I think I've really cocked this up, 515 00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,058 - haven't I? - Yeah. 516 00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:15,811 You cocked it up. 517 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:20,064 Do you think she'll ever take me back? 518 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,149 I wouldn't. 519 00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:22,902 But if you want to find out... 520 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:25,487 you have to man the fuck up. 521 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,366 You really nailed it that time. 522 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,201 - I don't need your approval. - Okay. 523 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:33,829 But thank you. 524 00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:41,294 Bobby Orr. 525 00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:43,129 Native of Kitchener, Ontario. 526 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:46,799 Who gives a shit? I cannot believe that you spoke to Archie. 527 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,011 I was promised you'd eventually love me for it. 528 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,804 He wants to see me tomorrow. 529 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:54,015 He says that he thinks he's found a path back. 530 00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:55,558 Alright, that's a good thing, yeah? 531 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,894 Why, because he's stopped banging that girl, 532 00:23:57,895 --> 00:24:00,313 so I'm supposed to run home and rip off all my clothes? 533 00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:03,150 I seriously doubt that that is his "path back" idea. 534 00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:05,485 I know you're mad. 535 00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:06,779 I have a question. 536 00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:09,031 Do you still love him? 537 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:13,869 Shit. 538 00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:19,499 You know, I never really told you why your mom and I split up. 539 00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:20,917 She cheated on you. 540 00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:22,461 Oh, good, so you're in the loop. 541 00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:23,921 No. 542 00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:26,757 My biggest regret... 543 00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:30,177 was that I didn't fight for her. 544 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:35,265 If you love him, don't be a coward like I was. 545 00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:38,267 If I say that I will go and see him, 546 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:40,478 will you please stop telling me to do things 547 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,773 - that I don't want to do? - Promise. 548 00:24:44,775 --> 00:24:46,943 - Also, try to be kind. - Jesus Christ. 549 00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:48,736 You're going to want to say some stuff 550 00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,989 that's really horrible to him, and he deserves it. 551 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,532 - Yeah. - But there are certain things 552 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:54,617 you can't take back, honey. 553 00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:56,829 And I am speaking from experience. 554 00:24:58,372 --> 00:24:59,873 That's all. Go see him. 555 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:03,084 Try to be kind. That's it. 556 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,461 Okay, I'm gonna head out. 557 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:08,923 Love you. I will drop by tomorrow morning 558 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:12,636 - after I see Walt and say farewell. - Dad? 559 00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:16,557 Do you wanna stay and hang? 560 00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:18,934 Always. 561 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:21,854 Yes, I do. 562 00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:23,772 Okay. 563 00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:31,113 Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 564 00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:36,951 Fifteen minutes at 185 degrees, at least three times a week. 565 00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:39,412 Speeds up the metabolism, flushes out the toxins, 566 00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:43,499 and is clinically proven to lower your chance of dementia by 53%. 567 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,251 And aren't you a lucky guy? 568 00:25:45,252 --> 00:25:47,503 You have all that fur to keep the heat in. 569 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,089 Yeah, I feel lucky. 570 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:52,091 Can't say I'm pleased you turned down my job offer. 571 00:25:52,092 --> 00:25:53,217 Sorry. 572 00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:54,969 Has it been 15 minutes yet? 573 00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:56,095 Ninety seconds, Greg. 574 00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:58,890 Boy, you're gonna love the contrast with the cold plunge. 575 00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:01,601 - I can't wait. - I am happy to see things 576 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:04,104 are turning the corner for Archie and Katie. 577 00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:06,689 Would have been a shame to have to let her go. 578 00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:08,733 - Excuse me? - Well, if this drama 579 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:10,402 got outta hand, I had to pick one. 580 00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:13,863 He's got the tenure and the Wallace Fellowship, so— 581 00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:16,408 Nobody cares about that. 582 00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,328 Have you ever been married, Walt? 583 00:26:20,329 --> 00:26:21,579 I am married now. 584 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:24,248 - Wow. Oh. - Joanie, she loves to travel. 585 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:25,625 I don't. 586 00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:28,294 So, we do two months together, two months apart, 587 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,254 and then we just repeat that the rest of the year. 588 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:31,465 She'll be back in a few weeks. 589 00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:33,383 I can't wait. 590 00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:36,511 Sounds like you've solved marriage. 591 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:38,054 I have, Greg. 592 00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:39,973 Mm-hmm, yeah. You're lucky. 593 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,811 When you get your heart broken, it's... 594 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,355 it's— Ah, whatever. 595 00:26:47,356 --> 00:26:49,899 - Never mind. - What do you mean, never mind? 596 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:53,945 Number three, "hothouse is for real talk." 597 00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:55,947 You had that made up professionally? 598 00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:57,573 I made it, in woodshop. 599 00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:58,951 - Nice. - Yep. 600 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:04,372 When you get your heart broken, 601 00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:06,500 it feels like somebody shot you in the face. 602 00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:09,753 It doesn't matter if it's been five years. 603 00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:12,880 You just... 604 00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:16,468 you feel like you're never gonna bounce back, you know? 605 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,639 Can't let that happen to Katie. 606 00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:22,683 Hmm. 607 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:24,351 Alright. 608 00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:26,769 Ah, Katie. 609 00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:29,564 I'm not gonna sit down 'cause I don't know where you guys have had sex, 610 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:30,898 - so I'm gonna pace. - Right, okay. 611 00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:32,191 That's actually something I'd love to say to you— 612 00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:33,943 - Look, I wanted to say... - No, hold on, listen, 613 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:34,902 - I really need to tell you something— - ... that to start off— 614 00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:37,029 - No. No. - No, no, if I can just go first and then— 615 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,615 Sit down! I'm trying really hard not to lose my shit here, 616 00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:41,409 and your interrupting me is not helping. 617 00:27:41,410 --> 00:27:42,995 Please, sit down and shut up. 618 00:27:44,538 --> 00:27:47,707 Unfortunately, I was gonna say that you actually should start, 619 00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:49,584 but there's nothing that you could say 620 00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:53,045 that would help me understand how you could do this to me. 621 00:27:53,046 --> 00:27:54,839 And you didn't even try to explain yourself. 622 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,132 Are you fucking serious? 623 00:27:56,133 --> 00:27:58,092 - Trying to— - Archie, that's when you get 624 00:27:58,093 --> 00:28:01,429 when those women on Dateline snap and poison their husbands. 625 00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:03,598 Because I have thought about killing you. 626 00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:05,308 And I know it's not smart to say out loud, 627 00:28:05,309 --> 00:28:07,602 in case something weird happens and you do die, 628 00:28:07,603 --> 00:28:09,729 and then somebody else in the bar is like, "Well, I heard her— 629 00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:11,439 I heard her talking about how she'd kill her husband." 630 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,191 But we're not in a bar, so I feel pretty safe. 631 00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:14,692 I could so murder you. 632 00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:15,819 Good lord. 633 00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,072 But my dad told me to be kind. 634 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,744 I just don't know how to get there. 635 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:29,833 I love you. 636 00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,755 And I think we can get through this. 637 00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:41,345 Okay. 638 00:28:44,598 --> 00:28:45,933 Now, you talk. 639 00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:56,902 It doesn't matter what you say. Just say something. 640 00:28:58,487 --> 00:29:00,738 She didn't go to the dentist. 641 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,157 Okay, it matters a little. It can't just be gibberish. 642 00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:06,077 Sunny said that she was going to the dentist, 643 00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:08,705 - but she went to the doctor's. - Well, dentists are doctors. 644 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:13,377 She's pregnant. 645 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:18,381 This is what I was— I just found out. 646 00:29:18,382 --> 00:29:20,591 I love you, Katie. 647 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:23,135 I was gonna beg for you to take me back. 648 00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:24,971 I have this speech where I explain everything, 649 00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:26,305 but I don't make any excuses. 650 00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:27,682 It's really good. I can still say it. 651 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,726 - Get out. - Okay. 652 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:32,770 This is my house. 653 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,690 Please get out, please get out, please get out. 654 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:44,741 - I really do love you, Katie. - Fuck you. 655 00:29:45,284 --> 00:29:46,867 Do you know how long you're gonna be? 656 00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:48,495 - Get out. - Okay. 657 00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:56,669 - Are you loving the contrast? - No! 658 00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:58,129 You're activating the brown fat. 659 00:29:58,130 --> 00:29:59,588 Brown fat is not real. 660 00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:01,465 - You don't mean that. - I do. 661 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:03,802 Now, we're gonna finish by you going under for five. 662 00:30:11,977 --> 00:30:13,519 Oh! 663 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,772 I don't like it. I don't like it. 664 00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:45,635 Oh, shit. 665 00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:51,599 Oh, ah, ah! No! 666 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,060 No. No, no, no, no, no. 667 00:30:53,935 --> 00:30:54,811 Ow! 668 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,147 Ow. Ah! 669 00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:02,486 Oh, my, no. 670 00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:14,038 Hey, Beth, I know you said that I didn't need to go see Katie, 671 00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:16,708 but I did, and I'm glad that I did. 672 00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:20,003 And I am so, so cold. 673 00:31:21,463 --> 00:31:23,924 Call me when you can. Bye. 674 00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:30,722 Oh, my gosh. 675 00:31:34,101 --> 00:31:36,310 Why would you make me talk to him? 676 00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:37,853 - Hey, folks. - Oh, no, this guy. 677 00:31:37,854 --> 00:31:40,398 - I was with you all morning. - Wait, what? 678 00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:42,191 Ma'am. Blowjob guy. 679 00:31:42,192 --> 00:31:43,360 Hey. 680 00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:46,028 You guys wouldn't happen to know what's going on here 681 00:31:46,029 --> 00:31:47,781 - with this fire, would you? - No. 682 00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:50,117 She was with me all morning. 683 00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:52,618 No, I wasn't. 684 00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:54,703 - Huh. - Seriously? 685 00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:58,374 Okay, so immediately, conflicting stories. 686 00:31:58,375 --> 00:31:59,708 Why don't you both stay here? 687 00:31:59,709 --> 00:32:01,168 I'm gonna go grab my pen. 688 00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:02,337 Do not leave. 689 00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:06,049 Where's my pen? 690 00:32:07,134 --> 00:32:08,427 - Who's got my pen? - Ah. 691 00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:10,929 Shoot. 692 00:33:15,076 --> 00:33:16,995 Bye-bye.