1 00:00:02,614 --> 00:00:04,015 So, I move into the center lane. 2 00:00:04,082 --> 00:00:07,419 Now, I get ahead of this woman who felt, for some reason, 3 00:00:07,486 --> 00:00:10,422 I guess, that she thought that I'd cut her off. 4 00:00:10,489 --> 00:00:12,958 So she pulls up alongside of me, 5 00:00:13,024 --> 00:00:14,894 gives me... the finger. 6 00:00:16,828 --> 00:00:17,829 It seems like 7 00:00:17,896 --> 00:00:20,466 such an arbitrary, ridiculous thing 8 00:00:20,532 --> 00:00:23,936 to just pick a finger, and you show it to the person. 9 00:00:27,072 --> 00:00:28,974 It's a finger. What does it mean? 10 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,877 Someone shows me one of their fingers, 11 00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,579 and I'm supposed to feel bad. 12 00:00:34,646 --> 00:00:36,081 Is that the way it's supposed to work? 13 00:00:36,147 --> 00:00:39,585 I mean... you could just give someone the toe, really, 14 00:00:39,651 --> 00:00:41,152 couldn't you? 15 00:00:41,219 --> 00:00:42,921 I would feel worse if I got the toe 16 00:00:42,988 --> 00:00:44,690 than if I got the finger, 17 00:00:44,756 --> 00:00:46,225 because it's not easy to give someone the toe. 18 00:00:46,292 --> 00:00:48,393 You got to get the shoe off, the sock off, 19 00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:51,263 and drive, get it up in the... 20 00:00:51,329 --> 00:00:52,664 Look at that toe, buddy. 21 00:00:52,731 --> 00:00:56,368 I mean, that's really insulting, to get the toe, isn't it? 22 00:01:00,939 --> 00:01:02,174 That it? 23 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,576 I've got the Q-tips, I've got the mini-umbrella, 24 00:01:04,642 --> 00:01:07,713 something boring to read on the plane. 25 00:01:11,884 --> 00:01:13,986 That's it. Done! 26 00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:17,856 That is the single greatest packing performance 27 00:01:17,922 --> 00:01:19,157 I have ever seen. 28 00:01:19,224 --> 00:01:20,759 I am... 29 00:01:20,826 --> 00:01:22,494 the master packer. 30 00:01:23,862 --> 00:01:26,131 Yeah, right. You're the master packer. 31 00:01:26,198 --> 00:01:28,901 What you must understand, Elaine... 32 00:01:28,967 --> 00:01:30,101 packing's no different 33 00:01:30,168 --> 00:01:31,670 than leading men into battle. 34 00:01:31,736 --> 00:01:33,238 You've got to know the strengths and weaknesses 35 00:01:33,305 --> 00:01:35,340 of every soldier in that platoon... 36 00:01:35,407 --> 00:01:36,875 from a collapsible toothbrush 37 00:01:36,942 --> 00:01:39,811 to a pair of ordinary black socks. 38 00:01:39,878 --> 00:01:41,513 Excuse me, master packer? 39 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:43,816 Yes? 40 00:01:44,683 --> 00:01:45,951 Just give me your keys. 41 00:01:46,485 --> 00:01:48,220 All right, sir. 42 00:01:49,955 --> 00:01:50,956 George? 43 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,124 Yeah. 44 00:01:53,492 --> 00:01:55,393 Okay, so, now, is there anything else 45 00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:56,828 I need to know about this place? 46 00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:58,063 Uh, yeah. 47 00:01:58,129 --> 00:02:00,632 The hot water takes a little while to come on, 48 00:02:00,699 --> 00:02:03,134 so the best thing to do is to turn it on, 49 00:02:03,201 --> 00:02:05,437 do all your shopping, 50 00:02:05,504 --> 00:02:08,339 and come back, and take a shower. 51 00:02:08,406 --> 00:02:09,875 Okay. This is quite a place. 52 00:02:09,941 --> 00:02:12,711 There's more. The refrigerator. 53 00:02:12,778 --> 00:02:14,245 Deduct a minimum of two days 54 00:02:14,312 --> 00:02:16,448 off all expiration dates. 55 00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:19,851 No meat, no leftovers, no butter, 56 00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,487 and I cannot overstate this— 57 00:02:22,554 --> 00:02:25,624 no soft cheeses of any kind. 58 00:02:26,358 --> 00:02:27,692 Is that clear? 59 00:02:27,759 --> 00:02:29,794 I'll eat out. 60 00:02:29,861 --> 00:02:32,230 And one more thing, Benes. 61 00:02:32,297 --> 00:02:34,033 Regarding sexual activity... 62 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,334 strictly prohibited, 63 00:02:36,401 --> 00:02:39,071 but if you absolutely must, do us all a big favor— 64 00:02:39,137 --> 00:02:40,773 do it in the tub. 65 00:02:42,441 --> 00:02:43,475 You ready? 66 00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:44,944 Yeah. One second. 67 00:02:45,711 --> 00:02:46,845 Hey, Elaine. 68 00:02:46,912 --> 00:02:47,913 Hi. 69 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:49,248 You coming to the airport with us? 70 00:02:49,314 --> 00:02:50,582 No, I'm staying here for the weekend. 71 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,584 I'm getting a break from my roommate. 72 00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:54,519 Oh, the actress/waitress. 73 00:02:54,586 --> 00:02:57,222 No. The waitress/actress. 74 00:02:57,288 --> 00:02:58,990 She just got some part 75 00:02:59,057 --> 00:03:00,625 in some dinner theater production 76 00:03:00,692 --> 00:03:01,927 of A Chorus Line. 77 00:03:01,993 --> 00:03:03,161 So, now, all day long, 78 00:03:03,228 --> 00:03:05,730 she's walking around the apartment singing, 79 00:03:10,035 --> 00:03:11,904 She's going to get it, right in the... 80 00:03:13,939 --> 00:03:15,174 Why don't you just kick her out? 81 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,875 She's on the lease. 82 00:03:16,942 --> 00:03:19,644 George, you have got to find another place for me. 83 00:03:19,711 --> 00:03:21,646 Well, a little rough finding something good 84 00:03:21,713 --> 00:03:24,015 in your price range... 85 00:03:24,082 --> 00:03:26,751 Hey, but you, my friend, may be in luck. 86 00:03:26,818 --> 00:03:27,919 I'm not looking. 87 00:03:27,986 --> 00:03:28,887 No, no, no. This one's different. 88 00:03:28,954 --> 00:03:30,288 This one's a beauty. 89 00:03:30,355 --> 00:03:31,756 What's it like? 90 00:03:31,823 --> 00:03:34,025 I haven't seen it yet, but it's a two-bedroom. 91 00:03:34,092 --> 00:03:35,894 It's on, uh, the West 83rd, 92 00:03:35,961 --> 00:03:37,329 about a half-block from the park. 93 00:03:37,395 --> 00:03:38,730 How much? 94 00:03:38,797 --> 00:03:40,899 Twice what you're paying here, but it's a great building. 95 00:03:40,966 --> 00:03:42,467 It's two bedrooms. 96 00:03:42,534 --> 00:03:43,568 Two bedrooms? 97 00:03:43,635 --> 00:03:44,669 Why do I need two bedrooms? 98 00:03:44,736 --> 00:03:45,737 I've got enough trouble 99 00:03:45,804 --> 00:03:47,573 maintaining activity in one. 100 00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:51,309 I saw that. 101 00:03:51,376 --> 00:03:53,111 You ought to at least take a look at it. 102 00:03:53,178 --> 00:03:54,813 Really? Why? 103 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,315 Because then I could move in here. 104 00:03:56,381 --> 00:03:58,050 Ah... 105 00:03:56,381 --> 00:03:58,050 Ah. 106 00:03:58,116 --> 00:04:00,419 I know what you're saying now. 107 00:04:00,485 --> 00:04:02,020 It's time you got out of here anyway. 108 00:04:02,086 --> 00:04:04,456 Yeah, tell him, but quickly. I'm double-parked here. 109 00:04:04,523 --> 00:04:07,359 Jerry, this place is falling apart. 110 00:04:07,425 --> 00:04:09,327 You have no hot water, 111 00:04:09,394 --> 00:04:11,029 you can't have soft cheese. 112 00:04:11,096 --> 00:04:12,931 And let's not forget the radiator. 113 00:04:12,997 --> 00:04:14,800 The steam has been on here for 10 years. 114 00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:16,135 No human can turn this off. 115 00:04:17,402 --> 00:04:19,671 Jerry, come on. You're doing okay now. 116 00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:22,174 You should at least take a look at this place. 117 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,742 You shouldn't have to live like this. 118 00:04:23,809 --> 00:04:25,110 Like this? 119 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,512 You just said you wanted to live here. 120 00:04:27,579 --> 00:04:29,280 Well, for me, it's a step up. 121 00:04:29,347 --> 00:04:32,517 It's like moving from Iceland to Finland. 122 00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:33,585 Jerry, what do you—? 123 00:04:33,652 --> 00:04:35,120 Do you want to see the place or not? 124 00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:36,354 I can't think about it now. 125 00:04:36,421 --> 00:04:37,756 Come on, I'm going to Minneapolis. 126 00:04:37,822 --> 00:04:40,159 I got four shows this weekend. 127 00:04:49,934 --> 00:04:51,136 Elaine? 128 00:05:10,622 --> 00:05:12,090 Elaine? 129 00:05:12,157 --> 00:05:13,592 Jerry? 130 00:05:13,658 --> 00:05:17,095 Jer— Oh, hi. 131 00:05:17,162 --> 00:05:18,297 Welcome back. 132 00:05:18,363 --> 00:05:19,431 How were the shows? 133 00:05:19,498 --> 00:05:20,498 Great. I had fun. 134 00:05:20,565 --> 00:05:22,267 Where's the TV? Where's the VCR? 135 00:05:23,435 --> 00:05:24,436 What? 136 00:05:24,502 --> 00:05:25,536 They were stolen. 137 00:05:25,603 --> 00:05:26,604 Stolen? 138 00:05:26,671 --> 00:05:27,673 When? 139 00:05:27,739 --> 00:05:28,840 A couple of hours ago. 140 00:05:28,907 --> 00:05:31,209 The police are coming right over. 141 00:05:31,276 --> 00:05:32,578 Stolen? 142 00:05:35,113 --> 00:05:37,216 Someone left the door open. 143 00:05:37,883 --> 00:05:39,418 Oh, yeah, uh... 144 00:05:41,486 --> 00:05:43,287 You left the door open? 145 00:05:43,354 --> 00:05:46,090 Uh... Yeah, well, you know, I was cooking, 146 00:05:46,157 --> 00:05:48,026 and I, you know, I came in 147 00:05:48,092 --> 00:05:49,828 to get the spatula. 148 00:05:50,495 --> 00:05:52,030 I left the door open... 149 00:05:52,096 --> 00:05:54,432 because I was going to bring the spatula right back. 150 00:05:54,499 --> 00:05:56,468 Wait, you left the lock open, 151 00:05:56,535 --> 00:05:58,170 or the door open? 152 00:05:59,037 --> 00:06:00,339 The door. 153 00:06:01,873 --> 00:06:03,942 The door? You left the door open? 154 00:06:04,008 --> 00:06:05,810 Yeah, well, I was going to bring the spatula right back. 155 00:06:05,877 --> 00:06:07,245 Yeah, and? 156 00:06:07,312 --> 00:06:09,915 Well, I got caught up watching a soap opera. 157 00:06:11,817 --> 00:06:13,886 Bold and the Beautiful. 158 00:06:15,420 --> 00:06:16,488 So the door was wide open. 159 00:06:16,555 --> 00:06:17,890 Wide open! 160 00:06:20,592 --> 00:06:21,793 Excuse me. 161 00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:23,629 And where were you? 162 00:06:23,695 --> 00:06:25,863 I was at Bloomingdale's, 163 00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:28,167 waiting for the shower to heat up. 164 00:06:29,401 --> 00:06:31,069 Look, Jerry, I'm sorry. I'm— 165 00:06:31,136 --> 00:06:32,304 You have insurance, right, buddy? 166 00:06:32,370 --> 00:06:33,405 No. 167 00:06:35,006 --> 00:06:36,542 How can you not have insurance? 168 00:06:36,608 --> 00:06:37,842 Because... 169 00:06:37,909 --> 00:06:41,813 I spent my money on the Clapco D-29. 170 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,149 It's the most impenetrable lock on the market today. 171 00:06:45,216 --> 00:06:47,352 It has only one design flaw. 172 00:06:47,852 --> 00:06:49,221 The door... 173 00:06:49,955 --> 00:06:51,490 must be closed! 174 00:06:53,058 --> 00:06:55,260 Jerry, I'm going to find your stuff. 175 00:06:55,326 --> 00:06:56,361 I'm going to solve it. 176 00:06:56,428 --> 00:06:57,929 I'm on the case, buddy. I'm on the case. 177 00:06:57,996 --> 00:07:00,665 Yeah, don't investigate. Don't pay me back. 178 00:07:00,732 --> 00:07:02,467 It was an accident. 179 00:07:03,301 --> 00:07:04,502 I made a mistake. 180 00:07:04,569 --> 00:07:06,171 These things happen. 181 00:07:06,238 --> 00:07:07,439 I'm human. 182 00:07:07,505 --> 00:07:08,907 In your way. 183 00:07:11,576 --> 00:07:13,979 Let's see, that's one TV, 184 00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:16,848 stereo, one leather jacket, a VCR, and a computer. 185 00:07:16,915 --> 00:07:17,916 Is that about it? 186 00:07:17,982 --> 00:07:19,284 The answering machine. 187 00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,018 Answering machine. 188 00:07:21,085 --> 00:07:22,721 Boy, I hate the idea of somebody out there 189 00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:24,523 returning my calls. 190 00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:28,060 What do you mean? 191 00:07:29,428 --> 00:07:30,862 It's a joke. 192 00:07:30,929 --> 00:07:32,097 I see. 193 00:07:33,599 --> 00:07:35,467 Well, Mr. Seinfeld, uh, we'll look into it, 194 00:07:35,534 --> 00:07:37,001 and we'll let you know, if we, you know, 195 00:07:37,068 --> 00:07:38,069 if we find anything. 196 00:07:38,136 --> 00:07:39,137 Do you ever find anything? 197 00:07:39,203 --> 00:07:40,239 No. 198 00:07:45,644 --> 00:07:46,844 Well, thanks anyway. 199 00:07:46,911 --> 00:07:48,146 You bet. 200 00:07:49,648 --> 00:07:51,049 I didn't get that joke either. 201 00:07:51,983 --> 00:07:53,418 The crook has the machine. 202 00:07:53,485 --> 00:07:55,721 The messages aren't for him, he's the crook. 203 00:07:56,787 --> 00:07:58,690 Why would he answer—? 204 00:08:00,258 --> 00:08:02,227 How did you get in here? 205 00:08:06,664 --> 00:08:09,667 I walked in. Your lobby door is broken again. 206 00:08:09,734 --> 00:08:10,936 Again? 207 00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:12,670 I don't know how you put up with this. 208 00:08:12,737 --> 00:08:15,340 Yeah. Tell him, George. 209 00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:17,008 You would still want to move in here? 210 00:08:17,074 --> 00:08:18,076 Yes. 211 00:08:18,142 --> 00:08:19,211 You don't understand. 212 00:08:19,278 --> 00:08:20,712 I'm living with Ethel Merman 213 00:08:20,778 --> 00:08:22,748 without the talent. 214 00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:25,384 Is that, uh... 215 00:08:25,450 --> 00:08:26,985 other apartment still available? 216 00:08:30,989 --> 00:08:33,325 I got ripped off for about the... 217 00:08:34,459 --> 00:08:36,461 18th time. 218 00:08:36,528 --> 00:08:38,262 Now, the first couple of times you go through it, 219 00:08:38,329 --> 00:08:39,998 it's very upsetting, 220 00:08:40,065 --> 00:08:42,767 and your first reaction, or one of your friends will say, 221 00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,569 "Call the police. 222 00:08:44,636 --> 00:08:46,705 You really should call the police." 223 00:08:46,772 --> 00:08:48,506 So you think to yourself, you know, you watch TV, 224 00:08:48,573 --> 00:08:51,443 you think, "Yeah, I'm calling the police— 225 00:08:51,510 --> 00:08:54,346 "Stakeouts, manhunts... 226 00:08:54,413 --> 00:08:56,614 I'm going to see some real action." 227 00:08:56,681 --> 00:08:58,116 Right? You think that. 228 00:08:58,183 --> 00:09:00,618 So, the police come over to your house, 229 00:09:00,685 --> 00:09:03,454 they fill out the report. 230 00:09:03,521 --> 00:09:05,090 They give you... 231 00:09:05,156 --> 00:09:06,491 your copy. 232 00:09:07,558 --> 00:09:11,396 Now, unless they give the crook his copy, 233 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,999 I don't really think we're going to crack this case, do you? 234 00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:17,035 It's not like Batman, 235 00:09:17,102 --> 00:09:18,837 where there's three crooks in the city 236 00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:22,007 and everybody pretty much knows who they are. 237 00:09:24,509 --> 00:09:26,177 Very few crooks even go to the trouble 238 00:09:26,244 --> 00:09:29,448 to come up with a theme for their careers anymore. 239 00:09:30,381 --> 00:09:33,285 It makes them a lot tougher to spot. 240 00:09:33,351 --> 00:09:34,619 "Did you lose a Sony? 241 00:09:34,686 --> 00:09:36,755 "It could be the Penguin. 242 00:09:38,223 --> 00:09:39,791 "I think we can round him up. 243 00:09:39,858 --> 00:09:42,494 "He's dressed like a penguin. 244 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,896 We can find him. He's a penguin." 245 00:09:51,703 --> 00:09:52,971 Oh... Oh. 246 00:09:54,472 --> 00:09:57,209 Well... Come on. 247 00:09:58,776 --> 00:10:01,212 This is an apartment. 248 00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:02,848 This is a home. 249 00:10:03,881 --> 00:10:05,851 This is a place to live. 250 00:10:07,786 --> 00:10:09,521 A fireplace! 251 00:10:09,587 --> 00:10:10,688 Are you kidding me? 252 00:10:10,755 --> 00:10:11,756 Does this work? 253 00:10:11,823 --> 00:10:13,225 I didn't know there was a fireplace. 254 00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:15,560 A fireplace! That's incredible. 255 00:10:15,627 --> 00:10:17,061 How do you get all that wood in here? 256 00:10:17,128 --> 00:10:18,129 They deliver it. 257 00:10:18,196 --> 00:10:19,397 They deliver wood? 258 00:10:19,464 --> 00:10:20,698 Yeah. 259 00:10:20,765 --> 00:10:22,300 What do you tip a wood guy? 260 00:10:23,968 --> 00:10:25,570 I didn't know there was a fireplace. 261 00:10:25,636 --> 00:10:27,538 Look! Look at— Look at this. 262 00:10:27,605 --> 00:10:28,640 There's a garden. 263 00:10:28,707 --> 00:10:29,740 A garden? 264 00:10:29,807 --> 00:10:32,710 I can't believe there's a garden. 265 00:10:32,777 --> 00:10:34,112 Would I have to get a gardener? 266 00:10:34,179 --> 00:10:35,713 Yeah, you can get a gardener. 267 00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:36,814 You tip him? 268 00:10:36,881 --> 00:10:37,882 You can. 269 00:10:37,949 --> 00:10:39,417 You don't tip a gardener. 270 00:10:39,484 --> 00:10:40,485 You can tip a gardener. 271 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,120 You don't need a gardener. 272 00:10:43,288 --> 00:10:44,790 Jerry, you can barbecue back here. 273 00:10:45,723 --> 00:10:47,759 They deliver the coal? 274 00:10:47,826 --> 00:10:49,160 Sure. 275 00:10:49,227 --> 00:10:50,828 It's probably the same guy who delivers the wood. 276 00:10:50,895 --> 00:10:52,531 Oh, then I got to tip him. 277 00:10:53,932 --> 00:10:56,734 Oh, man, this place is incredible. 278 00:10:56,801 --> 00:10:58,703 Look at all this great light. 279 00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:00,038 I don't have any plants. 280 00:11:00,105 --> 00:11:01,272 I have plants. 281 00:11:04,442 --> 00:11:06,845 Jerry, look at this closet. 282 00:11:06,911 --> 00:11:09,214 Look at this. I'm walking in it. 283 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,382 It's a walk-in. 284 00:11:10,448 --> 00:11:12,283 Can you believe it? I'm nuts about this. 285 00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:14,019 What do you think? 286 00:11:17,989 --> 00:11:19,424 I like that. 287 00:11:27,832 --> 00:11:29,200 What do you think, George? 288 00:11:29,266 --> 00:11:31,002 It's your decision. 289 00:11:53,324 --> 00:11:54,592 Oh! 290 00:11:53,324 --> 00:11:54,592 I'm taking it. 291 00:11:54,658 --> 00:11:55,893 I'm taking the place. I'm going to take it. 292 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,194 This is going to be my new place. 293 00:11:57,261 --> 00:11:58,996 I'm living here. I'm moving. 294 00:11:59,063 --> 00:12:00,064 You're moving? 295 00:12:00,131 --> 00:12:01,299 That means I'm moving. 296 00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:03,935 Oh! Gee! 297 00:12:04,002 --> 00:12:05,804 Is that incredible? 298 00:12:05,870 --> 00:12:07,472 Congratulations. 299 00:12:12,443 --> 00:12:13,477 What about the couch? 300 00:12:13,544 --> 00:12:14,746 You like the couch? 301 00:12:14,813 --> 00:12:15,847 Tell you what I'm gonna do. 302 00:12:15,913 --> 00:12:17,248 What? 303 00:12:17,315 --> 00:12:18,583 You're moving in. You're a good friend. 304 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,818 I wanna start you off on the right foot. 305 00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:22,220 Give me... 306 00:12:23,487 --> 00:12:24,589 $150. 307 00:12:27,392 --> 00:12:28,626 In fact, get it out of here right now. 308 00:12:28,693 --> 00:12:32,330 Take it out the door. I don't even want to see it. 309 00:12:32,397 --> 00:12:34,699 A hundred and fifty dollars? For what? For this couch? 310 00:12:35,566 --> 00:12:36,567 Yeah. 311 00:12:36,634 --> 00:12:38,736 For this couch? 312 00:12:38,803 --> 00:12:41,306 Okay, you tell me. What is it worth? 313 00:12:42,006 --> 00:12:43,541 Okay, uh... 314 00:12:45,043 --> 00:12:46,711 I tell you what... 315 00:12:47,678 --> 00:12:51,048 I could go as high as, uh... 316 00:12:51,115 --> 00:12:54,619 I don't know. Maybe... twenty dollars? 317 00:12:58,523 --> 00:12:59,524 Yeah? 318 00:12:59,591 --> 00:13:00,624 It's George. 319 00:13:00,691 --> 00:13:02,060 Come on up. 320 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,197 All right. Forget it. 321 00:13:06,264 --> 00:13:07,298 I'm gonna take it with me, then. 322 00:13:07,365 --> 00:13:09,366 I'm just gonna pack up the cushions right now. 323 00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:12,336 Okay, okay, you win. Forty dollars. 324 00:13:12,403 --> 00:13:13,404 You wanna get the other end, 325 00:13:13,471 --> 00:13:14,572 because I wanna get it in the hall. 326 00:13:14,639 --> 00:13:16,408 Fifty dollars, okay? Fifty dollars? 327 00:13:16,474 --> 00:13:17,474 Is that all right? 328 00:13:16,474 --> 00:13:17,474 Fifty dollars? 329 00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:18,576 Mm-hmm. 330 00:13:18,643 --> 00:13:19,643 Thank you very much. 331 00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,946 Thank you very much. 332 00:13:22,013 --> 00:13:23,815 Hey, what's going on? 333 00:13:23,882 --> 00:13:26,751 I just bought Jerry's couch for $50. 334 00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,821 So did you bring the lease? 335 00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:33,592 Well, all right. 336 00:13:34,391 --> 00:13:35,393 Gee, three years. 337 00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:37,428 That kind of seems like a long time. 338 00:13:37,495 --> 00:13:39,363 Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, 339 00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:41,432 Listen, if you are feeling uncomfortable 340 00:13:41,499 --> 00:13:43,634 about this at all, at all, 341 00:13:43,701 --> 00:13:46,237 do not feel like you have to take it. 342 00:13:46,770 --> 00:13:48,039 Why? 343 00:13:48,105 --> 00:13:49,540 If you're having second thoughts, 344 00:13:49,607 --> 00:13:51,409 if you didn't want it, 345 00:13:51,476 --> 00:13:52,476 don't worry about it, 346 00:13:52,543 --> 00:13:54,579 because, uh, you know, I— 347 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,782 I could take it, you know? 348 00:13:58,883 --> 00:14:00,151 You could take it? 349 00:14:00,218 --> 00:14:01,252 You want it? 350 00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:02,821 No, I don't want it. 351 00:14:02,887 --> 00:14:04,155 I want it if you don't want it. 352 00:14:04,222 --> 00:14:06,758 So you... do want it. 353 00:14:06,825 --> 00:14:09,227 No, I want it if you don't want it. 354 00:14:09,294 --> 00:14:10,928 You just said you wanted it. 355 00:14:10,995 --> 00:14:14,064 No, I'm saying if a situation arose 356 00:14:14,131 --> 00:14:15,800 in which you didn't want it, 357 00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:16,901 I might take it. 358 00:14:16,968 --> 00:14:17,969 So take it. 359 00:14:18,036 --> 00:14:19,036 How can I take it? 360 00:14:19,103 --> 00:14:20,105 How can I take it? 361 00:14:20,171 --> 00:14:21,339 It's your apartment. 362 00:14:21,405 --> 00:14:22,973 How can I want it now if you want it? 363 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,609 Excuse me. I don't mean to cause any trouble here, 364 00:14:25,676 --> 00:14:27,612 but, George, if you take it, 365 00:14:27,679 --> 00:14:29,147 can I take your place? 366 00:14:30,849 --> 00:14:32,984 Yes, but I am not taking it. 367 00:14:33,617 --> 00:14:35,953 I am not taking it. 368 00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:38,155 Well, one of you better damn well take it. 369 00:14:38,222 --> 00:14:39,891 Well, what do you want to do here? 370 00:14:39,957 --> 00:14:41,325 I don't know. 371 00:14:41,392 --> 00:14:43,495 Do you want to flip a coin? 372 00:14:44,395 --> 00:14:45,797 Who flips? 373 00:14:46,931 --> 00:14:47,965 You flip, I'll call. 374 00:14:48,032 --> 00:14:49,033 Okay. Fine. 375 00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,101 All right. All right. 376 00:14:50,168 --> 00:14:51,436 This is the official flip. 377 00:14:51,503 --> 00:14:52,704 All right. 378 00:14:52,771 --> 00:14:54,605 No crying, no guilt. 379 00:14:54,672 --> 00:14:57,241 Winner takes all, and that's it. Agreed? 380 00:14:57,308 --> 00:14:58,342 I'm good. 381 00:14:58,409 --> 00:14:59,443 I don't know who to root for. 382 00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:00,778 George's place has carpeting. 383 00:15:00,845 --> 00:15:02,547 Shh, shh. 384 00:15:02,614 --> 00:15:04,449 All right. Now, you call it in the air. 385 00:15:04,515 --> 00:15:05,717 No catching. 386 00:15:04,515 --> 00:15:05,717 No, no. 387 00:15:05,783 --> 00:15:06,784 All right, flip it. 388 00:15:06,851 --> 00:15:07,852 Heads! 389 00:15:11,122 --> 00:15:12,323 Tails. 390 00:15:12,390 --> 00:15:13,257 No, it hit the table. It hit the table. 391 00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:14,458 So what? 392 00:15:14,525 --> 00:15:16,460 Interference. You can't count that. 393 00:15:16,527 --> 00:15:17,996 Come on. Are you crazy? 394 00:15:18,062 --> 00:15:19,430 The coin cannot touch anything. 395 00:15:19,497 --> 00:15:20,598 It affects it. 396 00:15:20,665 --> 00:15:22,233 You didn't call "no interference." 397 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,434 You don't have to call that. 398 00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:24,501 That's a rule! 399 00:15:24,568 --> 00:15:25,603 I don't believe this. 400 00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:27,872 Oh! Oh! All right. Fine, Jerry. 401 00:15:27,938 --> 00:15:29,640 You win. Take it. Just take it. 402 00:15:29,707 --> 00:15:31,075 I don't want to win it like this. 403 00:15:31,142 --> 00:15:33,344 Elaine, what do you think? 404 00:15:35,213 --> 00:15:36,715 I better not. 405 00:15:37,415 --> 00:15:38,583 Jesus. 406 00:15:40,952 --> 00:15:42,954 Well, I'll tell you what. I'll choose you for it. 407 00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,755 Straight choose, three takes it. 408 00:15:44,822 --> 00:15:47,726 No disputes. That's it. You got to win three. 409 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:49,961 Okay. 410 00:15:54,064 --> 00:15:56,735 Okay. I'll choose you. 411 00:15:59,470 --> 00:16:00,671 What do you want? 412 00:16:00,738 --> 00:16:02,006 Odds. 413 00:16:02,072 --> 00:16:03,708 I want evens. 414 00:16:03,775 --> 00:16:04,876 Good. 415 00:16:05,943 --> 00:16:07,244 You got odds. 416 00:16:07,311 --> 00:16:08,346 You got evens. 417 00:16:08,412 --> 00:16:09,581 Right. 418 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,382 Ready. 419 00:16:11,449 --> 00:16:12,950 For the apartment. 420 00:16:13,017 --> 00:16:14,252 Once, twice, three, shoot! 421 00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:15,552 Mine. 422 00:16:15,619 --> 00:16:17,122 Once, twice, three, shoot! 423 00:16:15,619 --> 00:16:17,122 Mine! 424 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:24,929 Once, twice, three, shoot! 425 00:16:24,996 --> 00:16:26,030 Mine! 426 00:16:26,097 --> 00:16:27,098 Once, twice, three, 427 00:16:27,165 --> 00:16:28,333 Shoot! 428 00:16:32,837 --> 00:16:35,840 Congratulations. Congratulations. 429 00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:36,974 Thanks. 430 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,910 I'm just gonna... wash. 431 00:16:41,746 --> 00:16:43,815 Why did I put out two? Why did I put out two? 432 00:16:47,085 --> 00:16:48,119 Jerry? 433 00:16:48,186 --> 00:16:49,754 I think I'm onto something. 434 00:16:49,821 --> 00:16:52,089 I think I found your stuff. 435 00:16:52,156 --> 00:16:53,791 You know the Englishman who lives down the hall? 436 00:16:53,857 --> 00:16:55,159 Yeah. 437 00:16:55,226 --> 00:16:56,760 The last couple of days, he's been acting very strange. 438 00:16:56,827 --> 00:16:58,329 I think he's avoiding me. 439 00:16:58,396 --> 00:16:59,397 Hard to imagine. 440 00:16:59,464 --> 00:17:01,132 Yeah, and get this— 441 00:17:01,198 --> 00:17:02,734 I just got off the elevator with him, 442 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,235 and I tested him. I tested him. 443 00:17:04,302 --> 00:17:05,770 Like I— This is what I said to him, 444 00:17:05,837 --> 00:17:07,371 like I was like this, I went, 445 00:17:07,438 --> 00:17:11,642 "Oh, by the way, I know about the stuff." 446 00:17:11,709 --> 00:17:13,077 You know, very casual... 447 00:17:11,709 --> 00:17:13,077 Right. 448 00:17:13,144 --> 00:17:14,178 so he's gonna take me into his confidence. 449 00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:15,680 So, what did he say? 450 00:17:15,746 --> 00:17:16,914 "What stuff?" 451 00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:18,016 Oh. 452 00:17:19,317 --> 00:17:20,484 Case closed. 453 00:17:20,551 --> 00:17:22,086 Oh, no, no. You don't understand. 454 00:17:22,152 --> 00:17:23,421 You see, he swallowed. 455 00:17:23,488 --> 00:17:26,290 See, the guy, he swallowed. 456 00:17:26,357 --> 00:17:28,793 Oh, he was nervous about something. 457 00:17:30,028 --> 00:17:31,328 Now, I'm gonna go over there. 458 00:17:31,395 --> 00:17:33,764 I'm gonna borrow some tea. 459 00:17:33,831 --> 00:17:35,099 You know, if I don't get back in five minutes, 460 00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:36,968 maybe you better call the police. 461 00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:38,035 Okay. 462 00:17:38,102 --> 00:17:40,104 Starting... now! 463 00:17:40,171 --> 00:17:41,306 Yeah! 464 00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:46,310 One of the problems in life is that when you're a kid, 465 00:17:46,377 --> 00:17:49,447 you have a certain way of working out disagreements... 466 00:17:49,513 --> 00:17:52,450 and those laws do not work in the adult world. 467 00:17:52,517 --> 00:17:55,186 One of the main ways that kids resolve any dispute 468 00:17:55,252 --> 00:17:56,888 is by calling it. 469 00:17:56,955 --> 00:17:58,389 One of them'll say, "I got the front seat." 470 00:17:58,455 --> 00:18:01,926 "I wanted the front seat." "I called it." 471 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:04,995 And the other kid knows he's got nothing to say. 472 00:18:05,062 --> 00:18:06,764 "He called it. What can I do?" 473 00:18:06,830 --> 00:18:08,766 If there was a kid court of law, it holds up. 474 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:13,338 "Your Honor, my client did ask for the front seat." 475 00:18:14,605 --> 00:18:17,442 And the judge would go, "Did he call it?" 476 00:18:17,508 --> 00:18:18,509 "Well, no, he didn't call it—" 477 00:18:18,576 --> 00:18:19,844 Bang. "He has to call it. 478 00:18:19,911 --> 00:18:22,947 Case closed. Objection overruled." 479 00:18:25,483 --> 00:18:27,618 I love the mirror in that bathroom. 480 00:18:27,685 --> 00:18:28,753 I don't know what in the hell it is. 481 00:18:28,819 --> 00:18:31,122 I look terrific in that mirror. 482 00:18:31,188 --> 00:18:33,557 I don't know if it's the tile or the lighting. 483 00:18:33,624 --> 00:18:35,627 I feel like Robert Wagner in there. 484 00:18:37,828 --> 00:18:39,697 It's a good mirror. 485 00:18:41,365 --> 00:18:42,633 So, what are you getting? 486 00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:43,768 I don't know. What can you eat? 487 00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:45,803 You can't have anything anymore. 488 00:18:45,870 --> 00:18:47,004 Look at this. Look at this. 489 00:18:47,071 --> 00:18:48,740 Eggs, out. 490 00:18:48,806 --> 00:18:50,007 Coffee, out. 491 00:18:50,074 --> 00:18:51,576 French fries, out. 492 00:18:51,642 --> 00:18:53,077 B.L.T., out. 493 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:55,680 I go to visit my grandparents. 494 00:18:55,746 --> 00:18:57,448 They're eating big brisket sandwiches. 495 00:18:57,515 --> 00:18:59,783 I'm sitting there with a carrot. 496 00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:00,985 They're closing in on 100. 497 00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:03,221 I'm saying to them, "How can you eat that stuff?" 498 00:19:09,193 --> 00:19:10,595 I'm so sick about losing that choose. 499 00:19:10,661 --> 00:19:12,430 You don't know. I— 500 00:19:12,496 --> 00:19:14,498 All right. Forget it. Forget it. 501 00:19:14,565 --> 00:19:15,800 I'm not taking the place. 502 00:19:15,866 --> 00:19:16,968 What? 503 00:19:17,035 --> 00:19:18,736 How can I live there? 504 00:19:17,035 --> 00:19:18,736 Why not? 505 00:19:18,803 --> 00:19:20,504 Look at you. You're still thinking about it. 506 00:19:20,571 --> 00:19:21,606 I'll never feel comfortable. 507 00:19:21,673 --> 00:19:23,240 Oh, please. Get outta here. 508 00:19:23,307 --> 00:19:24,776 How can I ever have you over? 509 00:19:24,842 --> 00:19:25,976 You'll sit there moping. 510 00:19:26,043 --> 00:19:27,077 I won't mope. 511 00:19:27,144 --> 00:19:29,213 You're already moping. 512 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,548 Would you take the place? 513 00:19:30,614 --> 00:19:33,116 No. Impossible. It's your apartment. 514 00:19:33,183 --> 00:19:34,318 You found the place. 515 00:19:34,384 --> 00:19:36,486 You won the choose. 516 00:19:36,553 --> 00:19:37,555 All right. Forget it. 517 00:19:37,622 --> 00:19:38,656 It's over. I'm not moving. 518 00:19:38,722 --> 00:19:40,324 Well, me neither. 519 00:19:40,391 --> 00:19:41,759 Definitely? 520 00:19:40,391 --> 00:19:41,759 Definitely. 521 00:19:43,627 --> 00:19:45,429 All right. Then just get rid of it. 522 00:19:45,496 --> 00:19:46,997 You won't have any problem. 523 00:19:47,064 --> 00:19:48,765 No, it's not a problem. 524 00:19:48,832 --> 00:19:50,901 I can get rid of the apartment this afternoon. 525 00:19:50,968 --> 00:19:52,503 What apartment? 526 00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:53,971 Oh, it's a great place. 527 00:19:54,038 --> 00:19:55,806 It's a two-bedroom, West 83rd, 528 00:19:55,873 --> 00:19:57,708 about a half block from the park. 529 00:19:57,775 --> 00:19:59,377 What's the rent? 530 00:20:10,253 --> 00:20:11,255 I hate housewarmings. 531 00:20:11,322 --> 00:20:12,890 I don't know what we're doing here. 532 00:20:12,957 --> 00:20:14,425 This is ridiculous. 533 00:20:14,491 --> 00:20:17,228 She wanted to thank us for the apartment. 534 00:20:18,662 --> 00:20:21,399 I can't believe I lost the deposit 535 00:20:21,465 --> 00:20:23,434 on that U-Haul, 536 00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:25,570 and I threw out my couch. 537 00:20:28,238 --> 00:20:30,274 If only the coin hadn't hit the table. 538 00:20:30,341 --> 00:20:32,276 The table is interference. You know it. 539 00:20:32,343 --> 00:20:34,778 It is not. 540 00:20:32,343 --> 00:20:34,778 It is too. 541 00:20:34,845 --> 00:20:38,216 My roommate starts rehearsal tonight on Carousel. 542 00:20:40,651 --> 00:20:41,819 Hi. 543 00:20:41,885 --> 00:20:43,021 Oh, hi, Carol. 544 00:20:43,087 --> 00:20:44,889 I just wanted to introduce you to my husband. 545 00:20:44,955 --> 00:20:46,590 This is Larry. 546 00:20:46,657 --> 00:20:50,261 This is George, Elaine and Jerry. 547 00:20:50,327 --> 00:20:53,564 These are the guys who got us the apartment. 548 00:20:53,631 --> 00:20:55,399 You don't know how grateful I am. 549 00:20:55,466 --> 00:20:57,368 If there's anything I can ever do to repay you— 550 00:20:57,434 --> 00:20:59,570 I mean, we're just so thrilled with this place. 551 00:20:59,637 --> 00:21:01,038 It's a dream. 552 00:21:01,105 --> 00:21:02,973 I'm running in the park now. I've lost weight. 553 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,408 We're barbecuing every night, 554 00:21:04,475 --> 00:21:06,444 and the rent is unbelievable. 555 00:21:10,214 --> 00:21:11,849 We're really glad for you. 556 00:21:13,518 --> 00:21:15,219 Couldn't be happier. 557 00:21:15,286 --> 00:21:16,854 It's wonderful. 558 00:21:18,089 --> 00:21:19,289 Oh, Diane. 559 00:21:19,356 --> 00:21:20,825 Diane, come here. 560 00:21:20,891 --> 00:21:23,627 This is my new next-door neighbor, Diane. 561 00:21:23,694 --> 00:21:24,862 Hi. 562 00:21:24,928 --> 00:21:26,763 These are the guys who turned this place down. 563 00:21:26,830 --> 00:21:28,832 Can you believe it? 564 00:21:28,899 --> 00:21:30,801 Diane gave me the greatest back rub today. 565 00:21:30,868 --> 00:21:32,537 She's a masseuse. 566 00:21:35,773 --> 00:21:38,843 How could you guys have turned this place down? 567 00:21:38,910 --> 00:21:40,310 It's such a great location, 568 00:21:40,377 --> 00:21:42,646 and it's so close to the park. 569 00:21:42,713 --> 00:21:45,683 Yeah, we're aware of the proximity to the park. 570 00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:47,051 It's— 571 00:21:48,385 --> 00:21:51,289 Well, it was nice to meet you. 572 00:21:51,988 --> 00:21:53,624 Nice to meet you. 573 00:22:04,134 --> 00:22:05,303 How late are the stores open? 574 00:22:05,369 --> 00:22:08,105 I'm thinking of maybe buying a new TV 575 00:22:08,172 --> 00:22:11,174 and smashing it over my head. 576 00:22:11,241 --> 00:22:13,844 So I get a call from Gilmore this morning, and get this— 577 00:22:13,911 --> 00:22:16,013 They're restructuring the organization in Atlanta, 578 00:22:16,079 --> 00:22:17,681 and I gotta be there on the first of the month. 579 00:22:17,748 --> 00:22:19,250 Really? What are you gonna do about the apartment? 580 00:22:19,316 --> 00:22:21,719 Well, what can I do? I'll give it up. 581 00:22:21,786 --> 00:22:23,888 What's the rent?