1 00:00:01,988 --> 00:00:03,656 Went out to dinner the other night. 2 00:00:03,723 --> 00:00:05,225 Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does. 3 00:00:05,291 --> 00:00:09,128 Never liked the "check at the end of the meal" system, 4 00:00:09,195 --> 00:00:10,262 because money's a very different thing 5 00:00:10,329 --> 00:00:11,363 before and after you eat. 6 00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:13,867 Before you eat, money has no value. 7 00:00:13,933 --> 00:00:15,701 You don't care about money when you're hungry. 8 00:00:15,768 --> 00:00:16,969 You sit down in a restaurant 9 00:00:17,036 --> 00:00:18,138 and you're like the ruler of an empire— 10 00:00:18,204 --> 00:00:19,873 More drinks! 11 00:00:19,939 --> 00:00:21,173 Appetizers! 12 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,209 Quickly, quickly. 13 00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:27,546 It will be the greatest meal of our lives. 14 00:00:27,613 --> 00:00:29,048 Then after the meal, you know, 15 00:00:29,115 --> 00:00:33,787 you got the pants open, you got the napkins destroyed, 16 00:00:33,853 --> 00:00:36,689 cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes. 17 00:00:36,755 --> 00:00:39,058 Then the check comes at that moment. 18 00:00:39,125 --> 00:00:41,494 People are always upset, you know. 19 00:00:41,561 --> 00:00:43,863 They're mystified by the check. They're... 20 00:00:45,197 --> 00:00:46,900 "What is this? 21 00:00:47,933 --> 00:00:49,936 How could this be?" 22 00:00:50,003 --> 00:00:51,604 They start passing it around the table. 23 00:00:51,671 --> 00:00:53,974 "Does this look right to you? 24 00:00:55,541 --> 00:00:56,709 "We're not hungry now. 25 00:00:56,776 --> 00:00:58,645 Why are we buying all this food?" 26 00:01:03,048 --> 00:01:04,617 Well, I think Superman 27 00:01:04,683 --> 00:01:06,853 probably has a very good sense of humor. 28 00:01:08,054 --> 00:01:09,622 I never heard him say anything really funny. 29 00:01:09,688 --> 00:01:11,658 But it's common sense. 30 00:01:11,724 --> 00:01:14,227 He's got super strength, super speed. 31 00:01:14,293 --> 00:01:16,029 I'm sure he's got super humor. 32 00:01:16,095 --> 00:01:18,097 You'd think that, but... 33 00:01:18,163 --> 00:01:19,966 either you're born with a sense of humor or you're not. 34 00:01:20,032 --> 00:01:21,434 It's not gonna change. 35 00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:23,335 Even if you go from the red sun of Krypton 36 00:01:23,402 --> 00:01:25,672 all the way to the yellow sun of the Earth... 37 00:01:25,739 --> 00:01:26,739 Ehh... 38 00:01:26,805 --> 00:01:27,807 Why? 39 00:01:27,874 --> 00:01:29,909 Why would that one area of his mind 40 00:01:29,976 --> 00:01:32,545 not be affected by the yellow sun of the Earth? 41 00:01:33,446 --> 00:01:35,582 I don't know. But he ain't funny. 42 00:01:37,283 --> 00:01:40,519 Hi. I know, I know. I'm sorry I'm late. 43 00:01:40,586 --> 00:01:41,621 No problem. 44 00:01:41,688 --> 00:01:42,789 Whew. 45 00:01:43,456 --> 00:01:44,623 I dropped a grape. 46 00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:45,724 Pardon? 47 00:01:45,791 --> 00:01:47,526 I dropped a grape in the kitchen, 48 00:01:47,593 --> 00:01:49,094 and it disappeared. 49 00:01:49,161 --> 00:01:50,263 I couldn't find it. 50 00:01:50,330 --> 00:01:53,466 I was literally on my knees for 10 minutes 51 00:01:53,532 --> 00:01:55,235 looking for this stupid grape. 52 00:01:56,769 --> 00:02:00,039 I have no idea where it went. 53 00:02:01,274 --> 00:02:03,943 Were you crying? I mean, it's just a grape. 54 00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:05,511 You'll find it. 55 00:02:05,578 --> 00:02:08,147 No. I'm just getting over an allergy attack. 56 00:02:08,214 --> 00:02:09,415 This guy I'm going out with— 57 00:02:09,482 --> 00:02:10,717 Robert. 58 00:02:10,783 --> 00:02:13,153 Robert. Yes. Thank you. 59 00:02:14,888 --> 00:02:18,591 He has two cats, and I'm allergic to them. 60 00:02:18,658 --> 00:02:22,095 You know, I finally meet a normal man, 61 00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:25,898 and I can't even go into his apartment, you know? 62 00:02:25,965 --> 00:02:28,468 And of course my apartment is The Actors' Studio, 63 00:02:28,534 --> 00:02:29,769 so we can't go there. 64 00:02:29,836 --> 00:02:32,271 It's really causing a lot of problems, you know? 65 00:02:32,338 --> 00:02:33,940 He won't even go away for the weekend 66 00:02:34,006 --> 00:02:35,075 because of these cats. 67 00:02:35,141 --> 00:02:38,677 Guys with cats... I don't know. 68 00:02:38,744 --> 00:02:41,214 I've been thinking about asking this girl I'm seeing— 69 00:02:41,281 --> 00:02:42,515 Vanessa? 70 00:02:43,515 --> 00:02:45,351 Vanessa. Thank you. 71 00:02:45,418 --> 00:02:46,585 I've been thinking about asking her 72 00:02:46,652 --> 00:02:48,021 to go away for a couple days. 73 00:02:48,087 --> 00:02:52,525 Oh, no. No, no, no, no. I'd have to advise against that. 74 00:02:52,591 --> 00:02:54,026 What do you know this woman, a month? 75 00:02:54,093 --> 00:02:55,694 You're gonna be with her for 72 hours. 76 00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:58,464 That's a dating decathlon. 77 00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:01,434 Hey, why don't you take her to that place in Vermont I was telling you about? 78 00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:03,068 You know, that really charming place 79 00:03:03,135 --> 00:03:06,139 with separate faucets for the hot and cold. 80 00:03:07,139 --> 00:03:08,675 She'll love it. 81 00:03:09,975 --> 00:03:10,977 That's exquisite. 82 00:03:11,043 --> 00:03:12,579 Listen, if it's not too much trouble, 83 00:03:12,645 --> 00:03:15,448 could you pass me that paper over there? 84 00:03:15,515 --> 00:03:17,450 Just the business section is good. 85 00:03:17,517 --> 00:03:18,918 You'd better find that grape 86 00:03:18,985 --> 00:03:20,353 before it mutates into another life form. 87 00:03:22,054 --> 00:03:23,956 There was once a mutant grape 88 00:03:24,023 --> 00:03:25,724 that terrorized an entire town 89 00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:27,293 in the Texas panhandle. 90 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,660 They brought in the Army. 91 00:03:28,727 --> 00:03:30,496 Nobody could stop it. 92 00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:32,632 Apparently, it had a pit of steel. 93 00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:37,036 Up again. 94 00:03:37,103 --> 00:03:39,371 This is incredible. I'm— I'm getting it. 95 00:03:39,438 --> 00:03:40,472 You're getting what? 96 00:03:40,539 --> 00:03:41,674 A stock. 97 00:03:41,741 --> 00:03:42,742 What stock? 98 00:03:42,809 --> 00:03:44,377 Did you ever meet my friend, Simons? 99 00:03:44,444 --> 00:03:45,478 Maybe. 100 00:03:45,545 --> 00:03:46,846 He know this guy, Wilkenson. 101 00:03:46,913 --> 00:03:48,280 He made a fortune in the stock market. 102 00:03:48,347 --> 00:03:49,749 Now he's got some new thing, 103 00:03:49,816 --> 00:03:51,750 you know, it's supposed to be a big merger. 104 00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:53,853 I wasn't even supposed to say anything. 105 00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:55,487 You guys should think about doing this too. 106 00:03:55,554 --> 00:03:56,622 How high is it supposed to go? 107 00:03:56,688 --> 00:03:58,090 I don't know, but Simons said 108 00:03:58,157 --> 00:04:00,059 that if I wanted to get involved, 109 00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:02,428 that Wilkenson would tell me the exact right minute to sell. 110 00:04:02,495 --> 00:04:03,663 You want to do it? 111 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:04,830 Boy, I don't know. 112 00:04:04,897 --> 00:04:06,399 I'd do it, but I don't have any money. 113 00:04:06,466 --> 00:04:07,767 What kind of company is it? 114 00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,201 It's called Centrax. 115 00:04:09,268 --> 00:04:11,103 They've got some new kind of new technique 116 00:04:11,170 --> 00:04:13,272 for televising opera. 117 00:04:13,339 --> 00:04:15,074 Televising opera? 118 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,775 Some sort of electronic thingy. 119 00:04:16,842 --> 00:04:18,277 Well, how much are you gonna invest? 120 00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:19,545 Five thousand. 121 00:04:19,612 --> 00:04:21,281 Ten. Ten thousand. 122 00:04:22,248 --> 00:04:23,883 Five thousand. 123 00:04:25,685 --> 00:04:27,153 - Boy. - Come on. 124 00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:29,255 Wilkenson's got millions invested in this stock. 125 00:04:29,322 --> 00:04:31,791 It's gone up three points since I've been watching it. 126 00:04:31,858 --> 00:04:32,892 What if I lose it? 127 00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:33,959 Come on. 128 00:04:34,026 --> 00:04:35,461 Go for 2500. 129 00:04:35,528 --> 00:04:37,163 We'll do it together. Come on, come on. 130 00:04:37,229 --> 00:04:38,598 We're in it together. 131 00:04:39,365 --> 00:04:41,000 All right, 2500. 132 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:42,368 That's it. 133 00:04:42,435 --> 00:04:44,203 Yeah, can I take your order? 134 00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:46,338 I will check to the raiser. 135 00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:48,241 My bet? All right. 136 00:04:48,307 --> 00:04:49,742 I'll open with... 137 00:04:49,809 --> 00:04:51,411 a tuna sandwich. 138 00:04:51,978 --> 00:04:53,179 Tuna? 139 00:04:53,245 --> 00:04:55,047 Oh, the dolphin thing? 140 00:04:55,114 --> 00:04:57,783 They're dying in the nets. 141 00:04:57,850 --> 00:04:59,285 You know, the whole concept of lunch 142 00:04:59,351 --> 00:05:00,753 is based on tuna. 143 00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:03,856 But, Jerry, can't you incorporate one unselfish act 144 00:05:03,922 --> 00:05:05,291 in your daily routine? 145 00:05:05,357 --> 00:05:06,425 Hey, when I'm driving, 146 00:05:06,492 --> 00:05:08,194 I let people in ahead of me all the time. 147 00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:10,430 I'm always waving everybody in. 148 00:05:10,496 --> 00:05:11,864 Go ahead, go ahead, 149 00:05:11,931 --> 00:05:14,600 go ahead. 150 00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:18,137 All right, all right, I'll have the chicken salad. 151 00:05:18,204 --> 00:05:20,739 Um, and I'm gonna have an English muffin 152 00:05:20,806 --> 00:05:22,141 with margarine on the side 153 00:05:22,207 --> 00:05:23,275 and a cup of coffee. 154 00:05:23,342 --> 00:05:24,577 Okay, what about you? 155 00:05:25,177 --> 00:05:26,946 I'll have the tuna. 156 00:05:32,251 --> 00:05:34,219 I have to say, 157 00:05:34,286 --> 00:05:37,556 those people talking behind us really ruined that movie for me. 158 00:05:37,623 --> 00:05:39,591 Why didn't you do something? 159 00:05:39,658 --> 00:05:41,260 What do you want me to do? 160 00:05:41,327 --> 00:05:42,996 I gave the guy the half turn... 161 00:05:44,931 --> 00:05:49,168 Then I gave him the full turn with the eye roll... 162 00:05:49,234 --> 00:05:52,605 I mean, beyond that, I'm risking a punch in the mouth. 163 00:05:53,939 --> 00:05:56,008 Excuse me, do you have these in the puffs? 164 00:05:56,075 --> 00:05:58,011 No puffs, just flakes. 165 00:06:00,746 --> 00:06:02,848 Have you thought any more about that trip? 166 00:06:02,915 --> 00:06:05,050 Yeah, I've been thinking about it. 167 00:06:05,117 --> 00:06:07,686 You know, my friend told me about this great place in Vermont. 168 00:06:07,753 --> 00:06:10,489 I don't know. I just worry about trips like this. 169 00:06:10,556 --> 00:06:11,891 It's a lot of pressure. 170 00:06:11,957 --> 00:06:14,093 It's great. It speeds up the intimacy level. 171 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,029 It's like putting the relationship in a time compressor. 172 00:06:17,096 --> 00:06:19,398 Where we would be six months from now, 173 00:06:19,465 --> 00:06:21,367 we accomplish in three days. 174 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:24,904 Oh... so you want to move our relationship into phase two. 175 00:06:24,971 --> 00:06:28,174 Exactly. I love phase two. 176 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,675 Extra toothbrushes, 177 00:06:29,741 --> 00:06:32,045 increased phone call frequency, 178 00:06:32,845 --> 00:06:34,647 walking around naked. 179 00:06:37,717 --> 00:06:40,619 You know, the presents get a lot better in phase two. 180 00:06:40,686 --> 00:06:42,554 Really? 181 00:06:42,621 --> 00:06:44,523 Can we go fishing up there? 182 00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:47,894 Yeah, we can fish. What, blues, carp... marlin? 183 00:06:49,362 --> 00:06:50,663 They have marlin in Vermont? 184 00:06:50,729 --> 00:06:52,965 Oh, big fighting marlin. 185 00:06:58,537 --> 00:07:01,807 Jerry, the stock is the same as when you checked it earlier. 186 00:07:01,874 --> 00:07:04,077 There are no changes after the market closes. 187 00:07:04,143 --> 00:07:05,578 The stock is still down. 188 00:07:05,644 --> 00:07:06,912 I know, but this is a different paper. 189 00:07:06,979 --> 00:07:09,982 I thought maybe they have different... sources. 190 00:07:22,928 --> 00:07:24,697 Is that my paper? 191 00:07:24,764 --> 00:07:26,132 Bad news, my friend. 192 00:07:26,198 --> 00:07:27,366 What? What news? 193 00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:28,567 Centrax. 194 00:07:28,634 --> 00:07:30,436 Oh, come on, it's down again? 195 00:07:30,502 --> 00:07:31,871 Two and a half points. 196 00:07:31,937 --> 00:07:32,939 Oh, I can't believe it. 197 00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:34,607 Let me see that. 198 00:07:37,776 --> 00:07:40,446 That's four and a half points in three days. 199 00:07:40,513 --> 00:07:41,714 That's almost half my money. 200 00:07:41,781 --> 00:07:43,148 Hey, I told you. 201 00:07:43,215 --> 00:07:44,483 Yeah, you told me. 202 00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,251 It's all manipulated with junk bonds. 203 00:07:46,318 --> 00:07:47,987 You can't win. 204 00:07:49,855 --> 00:07:51,090 H... 205 00:07:51,157 --> 00:07:53,292 There's one thing I don't understand. 206 00:07:53,358 --> 00:07:56,328 Why does it please you? George Costanza, please. 207 00:07:56,395 --> 00:07:59,298 I'm just telling you to get rid of that stock now! 208 00:07:59,365 --> 00:08:00,966 George, what's going on? 209 00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:03,068 Sell it! Just say, "I'm selling." 210 00:08:03,135 --> 00:08:05,037 Well, where is the guy? 211 00:08:06,872 --> 00:08:09,375 Nothing? Almost half my money is gone. 212 00:08:10,376 --> 00:08:11,844 Well, call me right back. 213 00:08:13,679 --> 00:08:15,013 Nobody can reach Wilkenson. 214 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,149 He hasn't been home or in his office in the past three days. 215 00:08:17,216 --> 00:08:19,752 You know, I can't believe you put your money in that Centrax. 216 00:08:19,818 --> 00:08:22,422 You could have invested in my roll-out tie dispenser. 217 00:08:23,956 --> 00:08:26,358 The roll-out tie dispenser... 218 00:08:26,425 --> 00:08:27,459 What was that one? 219 00:08:27,526 --> 00:08:28,727 Okay, you're in a restaurant. 220 00:08:28,794 --> 00:08:30,463 You've got a very big meeting coming up. 221 00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:31,697 Okay. 222 00:08:31,763 --> 00:08:35,000 Oh, man, you've got mustard on your tie. 223 00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:36,068 Oh, no. 224 00:08:36,135 --> 00:08:37,636 You just... ksh, tear it off, 225 00:08:37,703 --> 00:08:41,139 and... vvvvt, you've got a new one right here, huh? 226 00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:43,309 And then... you're gone. 227 00:08:46,879 --> 00:08:48,781 You're gone, all right. 228 00:08:50,249 --> 00:08:51,383 Hey, where are you going? 229 00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:53,653 You gonna take a trip? The— With the map... 230 00:08:53,719 --> 00:08:56,822 Yeah, I'm going to Vermont with Vanessa for a few days. 231 00:08:56,889 --> 00:08:58,323 Hey, can I use your place? 232 00:08:58,390 --> 00:09:00,626 I've got a bunch of friends coming over this weekend. 233 00:09:00,693 --> 00:09:01,961 What friends? 234 00:09:02,027 --> 00:09:05,931 Well, it's just some people I met at a rock concert. 235 00:09:05,998 --> 00:09:08,066 Do you mind if they use your bed? 236 00:09:11,904 --> 00:09:13,306 Because they're really good people, Jerry. 237 00:09:13,372 --> 00:09:14,940 I'm telling you, you know, they're anarchists. 238 00:09:15,007 --> 00:09:16,542 They're— They're— They're huge. 239 00:09:16,609 --> 00:09:17,710 Yeah. 240 00:09:19,011 --> 00:09:21,013 George, what? 241 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,949 You're kidding. 242 00:09:23,015 --> 00:09:24,750 Well, what's wrong? 243 00:09:26,451 --> 00:09:28,954 So, what are we gonna do? 244 00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:32,524 Great. All right, I'll speak to you later. 245 00:09:32,591 --> 00:09:36,161 Wilkenson, the guy who's supposed to tell us when to sell the stock, 246 00:09:36,228 --> 00:09:38,030 he's in the hospital. 247 00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:46,972 You don't know what's wrong with him? 248 00:09:47,039 --> 00:09:48,574 All Simons was able to find out 249 00:09:48,641 --> 00:09:50,142 is that he's in the hospital. 250 00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:52,644 Okay, fine. 251 00:09:52,711 --> 00:09:54,146 Has Simons been in touch with him? 252 00:09:54,212 --> 00:09:55,680 Of course he's been in touch with him. 253 00:09:55,747 --> 00:09:57,482 He left two messages. 254 00:09:57,549 --> 00:09:59,952 He... just hasn't heard back yet, that's all. 255 00:10:00,018 --> 00:10:01,487 Well, this is it. I'm selling. 256 00:10:01,553 --> 00:10:04,289 All right, just— Just give it a little more time. 257 00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:05,925 I never should have gotten involved in this. 258 00:10:05,992 --> 00:10:08,361 I'm a nervous wreck. I'm not cut out for investing. 259 00:10:08,427 --> 00:10:10,963 All right, that's it. I'm gonna go down there. 260 00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:12,030 Where? 261 00:10:12,097 --> 00:10:13,732 To the hospital. 262 00:10:13,799 --> 00:10:14,833 The hospital? 263 00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:16,735 I'm gonna find out what's going on, all right? 264 00:10:16,802 --> 00:10:19,905 Are you nuts? You don't even know the guy. 265 00:10:19,971 --> 00:10:21,273 So what? 266 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:23,809 I'll start talking to him, you know, casual. 267 00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:25,578 I'll work my way around to it. 268 00:10:25,645 --> 00:10:28,114 What if he's in an iron lung or something? 269 00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:29,181 What are you gonna do? 270 00:10:30,682 --> 00:10:33,853 How you feeling, Mr. Wilkenson? 271 00:10:36,488 --> 00:10:39,792 By the way, what's happening with Centrax? 272 00:10:40,693 --> 00:10:43,062 Maybe he's there resting. 273 00:10:43,128 --> 00:10:45,297 Who goes to a hospital to rest? 274 00:10:45,364 --> 00:10:47,499 What are you, a doctor? 275 00:10:47,566 --> 00:10:49,535 Okay, fine, fine. When are you going down there? 276 00:10:49,602 --> 00:10:51,470 Today, I'm going today. 277 00:10:51,536 --> 00:10:52,704 Just don't do anything 278 00:10:52,771 --> 00:10:54,473 until you hear from me. 279 00:10:54,540 --> 00:10:55,908 All right. 280 00:10:57,109 --> 00:10:58,945 Boy, I have to get to a bathroom. 281 00:11:04,216 --> 00:11:05,350 May I help you? 282 00:11:05,417 --> 00:11:07,419 Yeah, I picked up this shirt here yesterday. 283 00:11:07,486 --> 00:11:09,722 It's completely shrunk. 284 00:11:09,789 --> 00:11:11,623 There's absolutely no way I can wear it. 285 00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:13,158 When did you bring it in? 286 00:11:13,225 --> 00:11:16,228 What's the difference? Look at it. Do you see the size of this shirt? 287 00:11:17,062 --> 00:11:18,563 You got a receipt? 288 00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:20,032 I can't find the receipt. 289 00:11:20,099 --> 00:11:21,132 You should get the receipt. 290 00:11:21,199 --> 00:11:22,834 Look, forget about the receipt, all right? 291 00:11:22,901 --> 00:11:26,472 Even if I had the receipt, look at it, it's a hand puppet. 292 00:11:27,406 --> 00:11:30,075 What am I gonna do with this? 293 00:11:30,142 --> 00:11:33,712 Yes, but how do I know we did the shirt? 294 00:11:33,779 --> 00:11:36,648 What do you think? This is a little scam I have? 295 00:11:36,715 --> 00:11:38,884 I take this tiny shirt all over the city, 296 00:11:38,951 --> 00:11:41,420 conning dry cleaners out of money? 297 00:11:41,487 --> 00:11:44,289 In fact, forget the money. I don't even want the money. 298 00:11:44,356 --> 00:11:47,392 I just once would like to hear a dry cleaner admit 299 00:11:47,459 --> 00:11:49,328 that something was their fault. 300 00:11:49,394 --> 00:11:50,762 That's what I want. 301 00:11:50,829 --> 00:11:52,998 I want an admission of guilt. 302 00:11:53,065 --> 00:11:55,201 Maybe you asked for it to be washed. 303 00:11:56,969 --> 00:11:59,705 No, dry-cleaned. 304 00:11:59,772 --> 00:12:02,374 Let me explain to you something, okay? 305 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,477 With certain types of fabrics, 306 00:12:04,543 --> 00:12:06,946 different chemicals can react, causing— 307 00:12:07,012 --> 00:12:09,782 You shrunk it. You know you shrunk it. 308 00:12:09,849 --> 00:12:11,884 Just tell me you shrunk it. 309 00:12:15,687 --> 00:12:17,223 I shrunk it. 310 00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:21,059 I think the only reason we go to the dry cleaner 311 00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:22,594 is so I can say to the dry cleaner, 312 00:12:22,661 --> 00:12:24,463 "Well... it's ruined," 313 00:12:26,932 --> 00:12:28,701 and of course, the dry cleaner can respond, 314 00:12:28,768 --> 00:12:31,570 "It's not our fault. We're not responsible. 315 00:12:31,636 --> 00:12:35,241 We just ruin the clothes. That ends our legal obligation." 316 00:12:36,708 --> 00:12:39,011 See, the whole problem with dry cleaning 317 00:12:39,078 --> 00:12:41,881 is that we all believe that this is actually possible. 318 00:12:42,848 --> 00:12:44,016 Right? 319 00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:45,885 They're cleaning our clothes, 320 00:12:45,951 --> 00:12:48,220 but they're not getting anything wet. 321 00:12:48,286 --> 00:12:50,923 It's all dry. 322 00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:53,058 I know there's got to be some liquids back there, 323 00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:54,460 some fluids that they're using. 324 00:12:54,526 --> 00:12:56,428 There's no such thing as dry cleaning. 325 00:12:56,495 --> 00:12:57,930 When you get something on your shirt— 326 00:12:57,996 --> 00:13:00,933 Ever get something on your shirt and try and get it off like that? 327 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,001 That's dry cleaning. 328 00:13:03,068 --> 00:13:04,536 I don't think that's what they're doing back there. 329 00:13:04,603 --> 00:13:08,173 They don't have 80 guys going, "Come on, hurry up. 330 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,776 There's a lot of shirts today." 331 00:13:14,546 --> 00:13:15,748 Bless you. 332 00:13:15,814 --> 00:13:17,850 Thank you. 333 00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:21,620 What evidence is there that cats are so smart anyway, huh? 334 00:13:21,686 --> 00:13:23,789 What do they do? 335 00:13:23,855 --> 00:13:26,058 Because they're clean? 336 00:13:26,124 --> 00:13:27,626 I'm sorry. 337 00:13:27,693 --> 00:13:30,228 My uncle Pete showers four times a day, 338 00:13:30,295 --> 00:13:33,965 and he can't count to 10, so don't give me hygiene. 339 00:13:34,032 --> 00:13:35,500 So, what are you gonna do? 340 00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:38,504 I don't know, I can't think of any solution... 341 00:13:42,808 --> 00:13:44,543 Unless, of course, 342 00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:47,012 they should meet with some unfortunate accident. 343 00:13:50,248 --> 00:13:52,350 What do you think a hit man would charge 344 00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:54,553 to rub out a couple of cats? 345 00:13:56,088 --> 00:13:58,089 Well, it couldn't be too expensive. 346 00:13:58,156 --> 00:14:00,159 Thirteen, 14 bucks a cat? 347 00:14:02,227 --> 00:14:05,164 What do you think, Jerry? You want to make 28 bucks? 348 00:14:06,065 --> 00:14:07,733 I'm no cat killer. 349 00:14:09,435 --> 00:14:10,769 How about... 350 00:14:10,836 --> 00:14:12,671 we go over there right now, 351 00:14:13,372 --> 00:14:15,040 and we shave them? 352 00:14:16,241 --> 00:14:17,676 I'd really like to go, Elaine, 353 00:14:17,743 --> 00:14:21,079 but... George is coming back from the hospital, 354 00:14:21,146 --> 00:14:22,548 I've got to wait for him. 355 00:14:22,615 --> 00:14:26,318 But otherwise, I would definitely go. 356 00:14:26,385 --> 00:14:28,654 He actually went to the hospital? 357 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,822 Yeah. 358 00:14:29,888 --> 00:14:31,256 Oh, man, he's nuts. 359 00:14:31,323 --> 00:14:32,624 Yeah, he's nuts. 360 00:14:32,691 --> 00:14:34,960 You want to bump off a couple of cats. 361 00:14:39,598 --> 00:14:43,502 I know, I know. It's down again. 362 00:14:43,569 --> 00:14:44,903 How much you down altogether? 363 00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:46,739 I don't know, $1500. 364 00:14:47,272 --> 00:14:49,475 Wow. 365 00:14:49,541 --> 00:14:51,977 You don't have to say "wow." I know it's "wow." 366 00:14:53,779 --> 00:14:56,048 And there's that smile again. 367 00:14:56,114 --> 00:14:58,150 What is that? 368 00:15:03,088 --> 00:15:04,256 It's George. 369 00:15:05,157 --> 00:15:06,392 Yeah. 370 00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:09,928 Oh... 371 00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:12,464 Oh, look at this one by the bus stop. 372 00:15:12,531 --> 00:15:14,099 Jerry, come here. Take a look at this. 373 00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:16,034 I really don't need to look. 374 00:15:16,101 --> 00:15:17,503 What a body. 375 00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:21,874 Yeah, that's for me. 376 00:15:21,941 --> 00:15:25,310 Yeah, and you're just what she's looking for too, 377 00:15:25,377 --> 00:15:29,215 a stranger leering through a pair of binoculars 10 floors up. 378 00:15:31,016 --> 00:15:33,352 I'm gonna go down there and try and talk to her, huh? 379 00:15:46,331 --> 00:15:47,433 What? 380 00:15:48,467 --> 00:15:50,769 What? Did you go down there? 381 00:15:50,836 --> 00:15:52,371 Did he tell you what's going to happen? 382 00:15:53,805 --> 00:15:55,774 How long were you there? 383 00:15:56,742 --> 00:15:58,344 Fifteen seconds. 384 00:15:59,912 --> 00:16:02,581 You told him you knew Simons. 385 00:16:02,648 --> 00:16:04,282 Yeah, I mentioned Simons. 386 00:16:04,349 --> 00:16:06,986 Next thing I know, I'm in the parking lot! 387 00:16:08,754 --> 00:16:11,557 Perhaps they had some sort of a falling out. 388 00:16:12,457 --> 00:16:14,125 I'll tell you one thing— 389 00:16:14,192 --> 00:16:15,294 I don't know what he's got, 390 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,963 but for a sick guy, he's very strong. 391 00:16:20,032 --> 00:16:22,935 Well, that's it. Look, I'm going to Vermont. 392 00:16:23,002 --> 00:16:24,736 I don't want to think about this. 393 00:16:24,803 --> 00:16:26,205 I'm selling. 394 00:16:27,605 --> 00:16:28,640 Didn't work, huh? 395 00:16:28,707 --> 00:16:31,610 Not quite. 396 00:16:31,676 --> 00:16:34,179 What are you gonna do about the stock? 397 00:16:34,947 --> 00:16:36,482 I'm keeping it. 398 00:16:37,449 --> 00:16:39,652 I'm going down with the ship. 399 00:16:48,527 --> 00:16:49,828 So I know this guy. 400 00:16:49,895 --> 00:16:52,597 I'm getting all my sneakers at a discount now. 401 00:16:52,664 --> 00:16:53,999 I know. You mentioned it. 402 00:16:54,699 --> 00:16:56,468 Oh, yeah, right. 403 00:16:56,535 --> 00:17:00,105 Oh, God, get me out of here. What a mistake. 404 00:17:00,172 --> 00:17:02,474 What made me think this would work? 405 00:17:02,541 --> 00:17:05,377 And I've still got another day. 406 00:17:05,443 --> 00:17:07,512 I've got nothing left to say. 407 00:17:07,579 --> 00:17:09,748 Wait, wait, I've got one. 408 00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:10,950 That's a nice watch. 409 00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:12,851 Yeah. 410 00:17:13,818 --> 00:17:15,720 Do you wind it? 411 00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:17,789 No, it's got a little battery. 412 00:17:17,856 --> 00:17:20,091 Well, that's good. 413 00:17:20,158 --> 00:17:22,360 Well, the drive home should be a delight. 414 00:17:22,427 --> 00:17:25,064 I'm speeding the whole way. Let them throw me in jail. I don't care. 415 00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:27,265 That's the manager. 416 00:17:27,332 --> 00:17:28,933 Do you want me to see if we can get another room? 417 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,969 No, it's okay. 418 00:17:31,036 --> 00:17:34,306 So I guess you don't find the separate faucets for the hot and the cold... 419 00:17:34,373 --> 00:17:35,807 charming? 420 00:17:35,874 --> 00:17:37,409 Not especially. 421 00:17:37,476 --> 00:17:39,778 Well, what do you want to do this afternoon? 422 00:17:39,845 --> 00:17:42,047 What can we do? It's raining. 423 00:17:44,782 --> 00:17:46,752 We could play "Sorry." 424 00:17:48,419 --> 00:17:50,155 We could play "Steal the old man's bundle." 425 00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:55,661 Maybe I can get an extension cord and hang myself. 426 00:17:57,529 --> 00:18:00,231 What kind of perfume is that you're wearing? 427 00:18:00,298 --> 00:18:02,801 Oh, you've never heard of it. 428 00:18:02,868 --> 00:18:04,436 No, what... what kind is it? 429 00:18:06,004 --> 00:18:07,472 I can't tell you. 430 00:18:07,539 --> 00:18:09,941 Yeah, that's real normal. 431 00:18:10,008 --> 00:18:13,511 Excuse me, sir. Could I have a look at that business section? 432 00:18:13,578 --> 00:18:15,280 - The stock? - Thank you. 433 00:18:15,346 --> 00:18:17,049 I thought you got out of that. 434 00:18:17,115 --> 00:18:18,650 I did. I'm just curious. 435 00:18:18,717 --> 00:18:21,153 It's been almost a week. I want to check it out. 436 00:18:23,488 --> 00:18:24,857 Six points? 437 00:18:26,824 --> 00:18:29,260 It's up six points. 438 00:18:29,327 --> 00:18:30,662 I told you not to sell. 439 00:18:30,728 --> 00:18:32,297 You did not tell me not to sell. 440 00:18:32,364 --> 00:18:34,799 I said the market fluctuates. Remember? 441 00:18:34,866 --> 00:18:37,869 Look, Vanessa, of course the market fluctuates. 442 00:18:37,935 --> 00:18:39,204 Everybody knows that. 443 00:18:39,271 --> 00:18:42,074 I just got fluctuated out of $4000. 444 00:18:43,108 --> 00:18:45,510 That's probably why we're... 445 00:18:45,577 --> 00:18:46,645 What? 446 00:18:46,712 --> 00:18:47,879 Forget it. 447 00:18:47,946 --> 00:18:49,347 No, that's probably why... 448 00:18:49,414 --> 00:18:51,283 That's probably why we're staying here, 449 00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:53,519 because you lost money on the stock. 450 00:18:54,652 --> 00:18:56,621 So what am I looking at here? 451 00:18:56,688 --> 00:18:59,391 Twenty-nine hours to go? 452 00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:00,726 Well, at least I've got plenty of time 453 00:19:00,792 --> 00:19:02,394 to find out the name of that perfume. 454 00:19:08,299 --> 00:19:12,937 James... he kills me, kills me. 455 00:19:13,004 --> 00:19:15,040 Have something else. Come on, have a little dessert. 456 00:19:15,107 --> 00:19:16,275 I'm good, thanks. 457 00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:18,777 Elaine, get something. It's all taken care of. 458 00:19:18,843 --> 00:19:19,845 I'm kind of full. 459 00:19:19,912 --> 00:19:21,613 So don't finish it! 460 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,048 She's full. 461 00:19:27,085 --> 00:19:30,355 So, big daddy, I'm just curious. 462 00:19:30,422 --> 00:19:34,726 How much did you clear on your little transaction there, all told? 463 00:19:34,793 --> 00:19:36,795 I don't like to discuss figures. 464 00:19:36,862 --> 00:19:38,697 How much? 465 00:19:38,763 --> 00:19:41,633 I don't know, 8,000. It's a Hyundai. 466 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:43,935 Get out of here. 467 00:19:44,002 --> 00:19:46,671 I told you not to sell. 468 00:19:46,738 --> 00:19:49,507 Simons made money. Wilkenson cleaned up. 469 00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:51,310 So Wilkenson is out of the hospital now? 470 00:19:51,376 --> 00:19:52,444 No. 471 00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:53,679 You'd be surprised. 472 00:19:53,745 --> 00:19:55,948 You don't recover that quickly from a nose job. 473 00:19:58,683 --> 00:19:59,818 Oh, God. 474 00:19:59,884 --> 00:20:01,653 Is that still from those cats? 475 00:20:01,719 --> 00:20:02,821 No... 476 00:20:03,922 --> 00:20:05,490 I've just got a cold. 477 00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:07,793 So, what ever happened with that? 478 00:20:07,859 --> 00:20:09,761 I gave him an ultimatum. 479 00:20:12,531 --> 00:20:14,165 He chose the cats? 480 00:20:14,232 --> 00:20:16,801 They're very clean animals. 481 00:20:16,868 --> 00:20:19,604 I've got to say, that's pretty bad, 482 00:20:19,671 --> 00:20:21,873 losing out to a cat. 483 00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:24,609 Almost as bad as losing out to a perfume. 484 00:20:28,346 --> 00:20:31,350 Told you those trips are relationship-killers. 485 00:20:33,118 --> 00:20:35,320 Too bad you can't get your buddy Superman 486 00:20:35,386 --> 00:20:38,423 to fly around the earth at super speed 487 00:20:38,489 --> 00:20:40,391 and reverse time. 488 00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:41,760 Get all the money back, 489 00:20:41,827 --> 00:20:43,895 could have avoided the whole trip to Vermont... 490 00:20:43,962 --> 00:20:45,997 Superman can go back in time? 491 00:20:46,064 --> 00:20:48,166 We went over that. 492 00:20:48,233 --> 00:20:49,535 Psst... 493 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,643 Wilkenson's got a bite on a new one... 494 00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:02,014 The Tramco Corporation. 495 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,983 Out of... Springfield, I think. 496 00:21:06,985 --> 00:21:11,456 They're about to introduce some sort of a robot butcher. 497 00:21:12,691 --> 00:21:14,058 A robot butcher? 498 00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:15,294 Shh... 499 00:21:18,129 --> 00:21:20,532 You want to get in... 500 00:21:20,598 --> 00:21:22,300 very little time. 501 00:21:25,237 --> 00:21:26,305 Ahem. 502 00:21:26,371 --> 00:21:27,839 Sweetheart... 503 00:21:32,878 --> 00:21:35,714 No, no, no, no, no, that ought to cover it. 504 00:21:37,783 --> 00:21:40,018 Just a second. Just let me... peek. 505 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,828 Good. 506 00:21:51,429 --> 00:21:53,598 Come on! Come on, come on, come on... 507 00:21:53,665 --> 00:21:55,734 I'm not an investor. 508 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,236 People always tell me, "You should have your money working for you." 509 00:21:58,303 --> 00:22:01,940 I've decided I'll do the work, I'm gonna let the money relax. 510 00:22:02,006 --> 00:22:03,208 You know what I mean? 511 00:22:03,275 --> 00:22:04,943 Because you send your money out there working for you, 512 00:22:05,009 --> 00:22:07,979 a lot of times, it gets fired. 513 00:22:08,046 --> 00:22:09,581 You go back there, "What happened? 514 00:22:09,647 --> 00:22:11,116 I had my money, it was here, it was working for me." 515 00:22:11,182 --> 00:22:14,252 "Yeah, I remember your money. 516 00:22:14,319 --> 00:22:16,922 "Showing up late, taking time off... 517 00:22:17,889 --> 00:22:19,891 We had to let him go."