1 00:00:46,106 --> 00:00:48,940 Last night, my friend Miranda got invited to a dinner party 2 00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:50,898 by a man she hardly knew. 3 00:00:52,315 --> 00:00:54,315 She was the date of Nick Waxler, 4 00:00:54,398 --> 00:00:58,440 a fairly successful sports agent who once told her she had nice legs. 5 00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:00,231 Okay. 6 00:01:00,648 --> 00:01:04,898 Old movie stars you'd have liked to fuck when they were young. 7 00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,815 Alive or dead? 8 00:01:06,898 --> 00:01:08,606 It doesn't matter. I'll start. 9 00:01:09,065 --> 00:01:12,606 Veronica Lake, the year she made Sullivan's Travels. 10 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:14,648 - Dave? - Huh… 11 00:01:15,648 --> 00:01:17,273 I'd have to say Sophia Loren. 12 00:01:18,065 --> 00:01:20,231 Probably 'cause my dad had this thing for her. 13 00:01:20,315 --> 00:01:23,023 Oh, we won't go there. Montgomery Clift. 14 00:01:23,106 --> 00:01:25,023 - He was gay. - Oh. 15 00:01:25,106 --> 00:01:27,856 Marilyn Monroe, before the Kennedys got to her. 16 00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:29,981 - Honey? - Bing Crosby. 17 00:01:30,065 --> 00:01:33,231 I stand by my choice. 18 00:01:33,898 --> 00:01:35,523 Sean Connery… 19 00:01:35,606 --> 00:01:38,815 Yesterday, today and tomorrow. 20 00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,148 For a first date, 21 00:01:40,231 --> 00:01:43,398 Miranda felt like she was hitting it out of the ballpark. 22 00:01:44,356 --> 00:01:45,606 Thanks. 23 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,273 So, how long have you known Nick? 24 00:01:48,773 --> 00:01:51,856 We've been riding the same elevator line for years, 25 00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:54,023 and then we had lunch a few weeks ago, 26 00:01:54,106 --> 00:01:56,231 and then he invited me here to dinner. 27 00:01:56,648 --> 00:01:59,773 - Well, we adore him. - He's very smart. 28 00:01:59,856 --> 00:02:01,815 I guess he took our little ultimatum seriously. 29 00:02:01,898 --> 00:02:03,231 Deanne! 30 00:02:04,898 --> 00:02:06,231 What are you talking about? 31 00:02:06,565 --> 00:02:10,440 They told Miranda that Nick had this thing for models. 32 00:02:10,523 --> 00:02:13,898 Okay. Old movie stars you'd have liked to fuck when they were young. 33 00:02:13,981 --> 00:02:18,523 I'll start. Veronica Lake, the year she made Sullivan's Travels. 34 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:21,315 - Dave? - I'd have to go with Sophia Loren. 35 00:02:21,398 --> 00:02:24,065 Probably. My dad had a thing for her. 36 00:02:24,148 --> 00:02:26,815 - Montgomery Clift. - Marilyn Monroe. 37 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:28,398 Bing Crosby. 38 00:02:30,023 --> 00:02:31,148 Yvette? 39 00:02:32,106 --> 00:02:35,523 Um, I don't know. Charlie Sheen? 40 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,398 They'd come to dinner… 41 00:02:38,065 --> 00:02:41,106 push their food around and pout. 42 00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:42,440 Veronica Lake. 43 00:02:42,523 --> 00:02:44,898 - Sophia Loren. - Montgomery Clift. 44 00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:46,315 Marilyn Monroe. 45 00:02:46,815 --> 00:02:48,065 Bing Crosby. 46 00:02:48,398 --> 00:02:49,523 Marissa? 47 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,731 She had to make a phone call. 48 00:03:05,190 --> 00:03:09,148 It got to be a problem. They decided to take action. 49 00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:13,106 Can't you find a woman who can carry on a decent conversation? 50 00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:16,148 Yeah, Nick. And eat without purging. 51 00:03:16,231 --> 00:03:17,648 What are you saying? 52 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,148 You can't bring around any more of these so-called models, Nick. 53 00:03:20,231 --> 00:03:21,773 Uh-uh. It's too depressing. 54 00:03:23,231 --> 00:03:26,981 Okay, okay. I'll see what I can do. 55 00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:29,148 And then he brought you. 56 00:03:29,231 --> 00:03:32,523 - So obviously not a model. - In a good way! 57 00:03:33,731 --> 00:03:35,440 Nick dates models? 58 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:46,356 Miranda confronted him, and it didn't take him long to fold. 59 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,856 It's true. It's true, okay? I'm obsessed. 60 00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:51,898 - Obsessed with models. - Correct. 61 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,815 So what am I? Your intellectual beard for the evening? 62 00:03:54,898 --> 00:03:56,523 Don't be pissed, all right? 63 00:03:56,606 --> 00:03:59,690 You gotta admit, you met some nice people. 64 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,481 All right, you had a good time. Okay? 65 00:04:03,981 --> 00:04:05,898 You were on a date with a modelizer 66 00:04:05,981 --> 00:04:07,690 and you didn't even know it? 67 00:04:07,773 --> 00:04:11,981 If men like Nick are dating models, what chance do ordinary women have? 68 00:04:12,065 --> 00:04:15,106 I mean, do you have to be a supermodel to get a date in New York? 69 00:04:16,065 --> 00:04:18,315 Modelizers are a particular breed. 70 00:04:18,815 --> 00:04:20,606 They're a step beyond womanizers 71 00:04:20,690 --> 00:04:23,315 who will sleep with just about anything in a skirt. 72 00:04:23,398 --> 00:04:27,481 Modelizers are obsessed not with women, but with models, 73 00:04:27,565 --> 00:04:31,565 who in most cities are safely confined to billboards and magazines. 74 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:34,773 But in Manhattan, actually run wild on the streets, 75 00:04:34,856 --> 00:04:37,856 turning the city into a virtual Model Country Safari 76 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:40,648 where men can pet the creatures in their natural habitat. 77 00:04:40,731 --> 00:04:42,731 As if we didn't have enough problems. 78 00:04:44,898 --> 00:04:47,481 They're stupid and lazy and they should be shot on sight. 79 00:04:47,565 --> 00:04:49,065 I've been out with a lots of guys 80 00:04:49,148 --> 00:04:52,065 and they say that I am just as beautiful as a model, but I work for a living. 81 00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:53,606 I mean, I'm like, well… 82 00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:55,940 I'm like a model who's taken the high road. 83 00:04:56,023 --> 00:04:59,523 The advantages given to models and to beautiful women in general 84 00:04:59,606 --> 00:05:01,523 are so unfair, it makes me wanna puke. 85 00:05:01,606 --> 00:05:03,565 Sweetheart, you shouldn't say that. You are so cute. 86 00:05:03,648 --> 00:05:05,190 Cute doesn't cut it in this town. 87 00:05:05,273 --> 00:05:07,606 What's cute compared to supermodel? 88 00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:10,148 There's nothing like raising the subject of models 89 00:05:10,231 --> 00:05:11,523 among four single women… 90 00:05:11,606 --> 00:05:14,065 to spice up an otherwise dull Tuesday night. 91 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,815 They have this distant, sexy look. 92 00:05:16,898 --> 00:05:18,815 That's not sexy, it's starvation. 93 00:05:18,898 --> 00:05:21,190 That's starvation in the best restaurants. 94 00:05:21,273 --> 00:05:22,940 Yeah. What I wanna know is… 95 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,606 when did all the men get together and decide 96 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:28,148 that they would only get it up for giraffes with big breasts? 97 00:05:29,356 --> 00:05:33,773 In some cultures, heavy women with mustaches are considered beautiful. 98 00:05:33,856 --> 00:05:35,773 And you're looking at me while you're saying that? 99 00:05:35,856 --> 00:05:37,898 We should just admit that we live in a culture 100 00:05:37,981 --> 00:05:40,023 that promotes impossible standards of beauty. 101 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,856 Yeah, except men think they're possible. 102 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:42,841 Yeah. 103 00:05:42,856 --> 00:05:45,398 I just know, no matter how good I feel about myself, 104 00:05:45,481 --> 00:05:47,940 if I see Christy Turlington, I just wanna give up. 105 00:05:48,023 --> 00:05:50,648 I just wanna tie her down and force-feed her lard, 106 00:05:50,731 --> 00:05:52,356 but that's the difference between you and me. 107 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,356 What are you talking about? 108 00:05:54,481 --> 00:05:56,523 Look at you two. You're beautiful. 109 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,981 - I hate my thighs. - Oh, come on. 110 00:06:00,065 --> 00:06:01,606 I can't even open a magazine 111 00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:04,231 without thinking, "thighs, thighs, thighs." 112 00:06:04,315 --> 00:06:06,523 Well, I'll take your thighs and raise you a chin. 113 00:06:06,606 --> 00:06:08,648 I'll take your chin and raise you a… 114 00:06:13,898 --> 00:06:15,731 - What? - Oh, come on. 115 00:06:16,273 --> 00:06:18,523 I happen to love the way I look. 116 00:06:18,606 --> 00:06:20,273 You should. You paid enough for it. 117 00:06:20,356 --> 00:06:22,106 Hey, I resent that. 118 00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:24,106 I do not believe in plastic surgery. 119 00:06:24,606 --> 00:06:25,731 Well, not yet. 120 00:06:25,815 --> 00:06:30,565 I find it fascinating that four beautiful flesh and blood women 121 00:06:30,648 --> 00:06:33,106 could be intimidated by some unreal fantasy. 122 00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:35,148 I mean, look. Look at this. 123 00:06:35,565 --> 00:06:37,565 Is this really intimidating to any of you? 124 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,856 - I hate my thighs. - Pass the chicken. 125 00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:42,440 You know, I have that dress. 126 00:06:43,231 --> 00:06:44,606 Suddenly I was interested. 127 00:06:44,690 --> 00:06:47,815 If models could cause otherwise rational individuals 128 00:06:47,898 --> 00:06:51,856 to crumble in their presence, exactly how powerful was beauty? 129 00:06:52,231 --> 00:06:54,606 There are two types of guys that fall for beautiful women. 130 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,565 Either they're slime-balls that are just out to get laid, 131 00:06:57,648 --> 00:07:00,106 or they fall in love with you instantly. It's pathetic. 132 00:07:00,481 --> 00:07:02,231 Why fuck the girl in the skirt, 133 00:07:02,315 --> 00:07:05,273 if you can fuck the girl in the ad for the skirt? 134 00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:09,398 Being beautiful is such a power. You can get whatever you want. 135 00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:10,690 You can get anything. 136 00:07:10,773 --> 00:07:14,190 I've been offered trips to Aspen, weekends in Paris, 137 00:07:14,273 --> 00:07:15,815 Christmas in St. Barts. 138 00:07:15,898 --> 00:07:18,731 A motorcycle, a juicer… 139 00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:21,315 It's not like models don't have brains. 140 00:07:21,731 --> 00:07:22,731 They have them. 141 00:07:23,606 --> 00:07:25,440 They just don't need to use them. 142 00:07:25,523 --> 00:07:29,856 Most guys just think you're dumb, but I'm really very literary. I read. 143 00:07:29,940 --> 00:07:32,856 I'll sit down and I'll read a whole magazine from cover to cover. 144 00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:34,273 Some scuba gear… 145 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,273 a Herb Ritts photo. 146 00:07:38,773 --> 00:07:41,648 A BVLGARI necklace, a breast job. 147 00:07:42,106 --> 00:07:45,773 My friends think I'm shallow. Sometimes I think they're right. 148 00:07:46,106 --> 00:07:50,273 Other times I think, "Hey, I'm fucking a model." 149 00:07:51,023 --> 00:07:53,856 Models are a lot looser than you think. 150 00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,565 It's way easier to screw a model than a regular girl 151 00:07:57,648 --> 00:07:59,731 'cause that's what they do all the time. 152 00:07:59,815 --> 00:08:02,440 It's how regular people are when they're on vacation. 153 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:05,106 Barkley, a notorious modelizer 154 00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:08,773 was one of those SoHo wonders who maintained a fabulous lifestyle 155 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,940 despite never having sold a single painting. 156 00:08:12,023 --> 00:08:14,440 So you're saying it's easy to meet them? 157 00:08:14,523 --> 00:08:16,440 No, it's not so easy. 158 00:08:16,523 --> 00:08:19,606 The trick is, you gotta treat them like they're regular girls. 159 00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:22,856 You gotta be able to roll into a place, walk up to the hottest thing there. 160 00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:26,106 Otherwise you're finished. It's kind of like being around dogs. 161 00:08:26,190 --> 00:08:28,940 - You gotta show no fear. - Things? 162 00:08:29,023 --> 00:08:30,856 You call them things? 163 00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:33,315 Yeah. Well, they are things. 164 00:08:33,398 --> 00:08:34,440 They're beautiful things. 165 00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:36,315 And that's what my life's about, you know? 166 00:08:38,606 --> 00:08:39,815 Beauty. 167 00:08:41,231 --> 00:08:42,898 Come here. I want to show you something. 168 00:08:47,231 --> 00:08:49,356 This is my real art, 169 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:52,315 only I can't really show it to the public. 170 00:08:55,148 --> 00:08:57,273 Well, not yet, at least. Sit down. 171 00:09:06,065 --> 00:09:09,398 That's Vanessa. That's Tanya. 172 00:09:10,148 --> 00:09:11,440 Elana. 173 00:09:11,523 --> 00:09:12,856 Katrina. 174 00:09:13,815 --> 00:09:15,273 I couldn't believe it. 175 00:09:15,648 --> 00:09:19,606 The man had slept with half the perfume ads in September's Vogue. 176 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:23,731 Do they… 177 00:09:23,815 --> 00:09:25,481 Do they know about this? 178 00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:27,398 Maybe. 179 00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:29,523 Oh, look at that one. 180 00:09:31,731 --> 00:09:34,815 She does runway now, but I think she's gonna be huge someday. 181 00:09:35,315 --> 00:09:36,940 I didn't know what to say. 182 00:09:37,023 --> 00:09:39,440 There really wasn't anything to say except… 183 00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:41,981 Do you have a light? 184 00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:43,773 Sure. 185 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,690 Later that day, I was relieved to discover 186 00:09:53,773 --> 00:09:57,773 that at least one eligible bachelor got his kicks off the runway. 187 00:09:57,856 --> 00:10:01,106 - So I totally dig your friend Miranda. - You're kidding! That's great. 188 00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:04,856 Yeah, I think she is so sexy and smart and… 189 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:07,440 - Did she tell you that we made out? - No. 190 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:10,315 Yeah, it was totally hot. 191 00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:13,148 So… why don't you call her? 192 00:10:13,231 --> 00:10:15,731 - You should call her. She'd love that. - I did, like a hundred times. 193 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,440 She totally won't return my phone calls. 194 00:10:17,523 --> 00:10:20,148 I don't know. Did she say anything about me? 195 00:10:20,523 --> 00:10:21,565 No. 196 00:10:22,065 --> 00:10:24,023 I don't know, maybe she's just busy or… 197 00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:25,981 Am I not cute enough for her? 198 00:10:26,065 --> 00:10:28,190 Of course you are, Skipper. You're adorable. 199 00:10:28,273 --> 00:10:32,106 Well, I don't know. Find out for me. I wanna see if I still have a chance. 200 00:10:33,315 --> 00:10:36,106 - Right now, in front of you? - Go ahead. I can handle it. 201 00:10:39,398 --> 00:10:41,690 Hi, this is Miranda. Please leave me a message. 202 00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:43,231 Oh, it's her machine. 203 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,106 Hey, this is Skipper. I'm in the street with Carrie. 204 00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:49,065 I just told her how you won't call me back. 205 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,815 So now you have to call me back. You better call me back! 206 00:10:52,898 --> 00:10:55,440 No, I'm kidding. I'm joking. 207 00:10:55,523 --> 00:10:59,440 Um, but seriously, I hope you call me back and… 208 00:10:59,523 --> 00:11:01,106 did I mention this was Skipper? 209 00:11:03,106 --> 00:11:05,606 I believe there is a curse put on the head of anybody 210 00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:07,398 who tries to fix up their friends. 211 00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:14,231 Where better to find modelizers in their natural habitat 212 00:11:14,315 --> 00:11:15,606 than a fashion show? 213 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:19,773 Luckily, my friend Stanford Blatch had a client in the hottest show in town. 214 00:11:20,315 --> 00:11:23,606 "The Bone" is like the human equivalent of the sable coat. 215 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:27,315 He's so beautiful that I find that sometimes I have to look away. 216 00:11:27,981 --> 00:11:30,565 - Do you see him? - Oh. Right over there. 217 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,648 - Where? - Oh, my God! Look at him. 218 00:11:32,731 --> 00:11:35,440 It's like he travels with his own personal lighting director. 219 00:11:36,315 --> 00:11:39,148 Derek, aka "The Bone"… 220 00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:43,356 was the world's biggest underwear model and Stanford's most important client. 221 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,273 As well as the subject of his single-minded obsession. 222 00:11:47,398 --> 00:11:48,648 Hey, Stanny. 223 00:11:48,731 --> 00:11:52,106 Derek, I would like you to meet a very dear friend, Carrie Bradshaw. 224 00:11:52,190 --> 00:11:53,565 - Hi. - Nice to meet you. 225 00:11:53,648 --> 00:11:55,690 Carrie writes the column Sex And The City. 226 00:11:55,773 --> 00:11:58,190 - Wow, that's great. - Oh, you've read it? 227 00:11:58,273 --> 00:11:59,565 Uh, no. 228 00:11:59,898 --> 00:12:02,981 You know, um, the other day, Derek and I were walking past his billboard, 229 00:12:03,065 --> 00:12:06,106 and he told me he'd like to get a piece of it for his apartment, 230 00:12:06,190 --> 00:12:07,773 like maybe his nose. 231 00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:10,690 And I said, "You should get the bulge in your pants. 232 00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:14,606 That way when women ask how big you are, you can say, 14-feet." 233 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:17,481 - That would be very funny, wouldn't it? - Yeah. 234 00:12:17,565 --> 00:12:20,273 Everybody's talking about you. You are so great. 235 00:12:20,690 --> 00:12:22,981 You're gonna be a star. Have I told you that enough times? 236 00:12:23,065 --> 00:12:25,648 You're a star! You're a star! 237 00:12:25,731 --> 00:12:29,231 - We'd better let you get dressed. - I am dressed. 238 00:12:30,606 --> 00:12:32,856 - We'll see you after the show. - Bye. 239 00:12:33,606 --> 00:12:34,815 Okay, bye! 240 00:12:35,273 --> 00:12:38,398 Can you believe anyone that beautiful can be that nice? 241 00:12:38,773 --> 00:12:41,273 I keep dreaming that someday he's just gonna turn around and say, 242 00:12:41,356 --> 00:12:42,773 "Stanford, I love you." 243 00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:45,356 - Is he gay? - He denies it. 244 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,606 How can anyone that gorgeous be straight? 245 00:12:49,106 --> 00:12:50,648 Sweetie, over here! 246 00:12:50,731 --> 00:12:53,731 Samantha Jones never missed a major fashion show. 247 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:57,398 She was one of the only people I knew who thought that proximity to beauty 248 00:12:57,481 --> 00:12:59,398 made her feel more attractive. 249 00:12:59,981 --> 00:13:01,690 Hey, sweetie, so wait, what happened? 250 00:13:01,773 --> 00:13:03,690 You couldn't find seats right on the runway? 251 00:13:03,773 --> 00:13:06,190 Oh, you can see all the flaws from this angle. 252 00:13:15,023 --> 00:13:17,648 - Hey, Carrie. - Hey! Hi, Barkley, how are you? 253 00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:20,606 - You going to the party afterwards? - Um, I don't know. 254 00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:24,106 Of course we are. Hi, I'm Samantha. 255 00:13:24,731 --> 00:13:25,815 Barkley. 256 00:13:29,773 --> 00:13:32,731 Martini straight up or with a twist? 257 00:13:33,315 --> 00:13:34,690 Straight up. 258 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,440 Really? He's very cute. 259 00:13:37,523 --> 00:13:38,940 You're not dating him, are you? 260 00:13:39,023 --> 00:13:40,981 God, no. He's a total modelizer. 261 00:13:45,523 --> 00:13:49,023 Is he dating any one model in particular? 262 00:13:49,523 --> 00:13:52,898 Actually, he's sleeping with all of them in general. 263 00:13:54,231 --> 00:13:57,106 - Only models? - Only models. 264 00:14:15,065 --> 00:14:17,690 Later that night we all went downtown for a party. 265 00:14:19,731 --> 00:14:22,898 I was beginning to float away on a sea of sweet potato puffs 266 00:14:22,981 --> 00:14:25,523 with smoked salmon and sour cream when… 267 00:14:27,231 --> 00:14:28,856 It was Mr. Big. 268 00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:30,523 Major tycoon, 269 00:14:30,856 --> 00:14:34,315 major dream boat, and majorly out of my league. 270 00:14:34,398 --> 00:14:36,815 I thought I saw you on the runway. 271 00:14:36,898 --> 00:14:38,356 Hi. 272 00:14:39,315 --> 00:14:41,231 I started reading your column after we met. 273 00:14:42,065 --> 00:14:43,606 - You did? - Yeah. 274 00:14:44,190 --> 00:14:45,440 Cute. 275 00:14:45,523 --> 00:14:46,606 Cute? 276 00:14:47,356 --> 00:14:50,356 Well… Yeah, cute. 277 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,981 What are you writing about this week? 278 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:56,690 Um, well, I'm working on a story about men who date models. 279 00:14:56,773 --> 00:14:59,856 - Any thoughts? - Only that they're very lucky. 280 00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,523 So what have you discovered about these men 281 00:15:03,606 --> 00:15:06,398 who are dating models? 282 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,356 Well, I'm discovering that 283 00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:12,356 some of them treat it as a competitive sport 284 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,773 and others I think just need the validation. 285 00:15:15,856 --> 00:15:19,523 And probably others just have a thing for exceptionally beautiful women. 286 00:15:20,273 --> 00:15:21,690 Exactly. 287 00:15:21,773 --> 00:15:23,565 And there's something wrong with that? 288 00:15:23,648 --> 00:15:25,315 No! There's nothing wrong. 289 00:15:26,148 --> 00:15:28,856 I just think it might become a bit monotonous. 290 00:15:29,731 --> 00:15:30,731 Puff? 291 00:15:31,023 --> 00:15:32,148 Um… 292 00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:34,481 - No, thanks. - Excuse me. 293 00:15:34,565 --> 00:15:36,440 So, um, where do you… 294 00:15:36,773 --> 00:15:40,690 - Where do you write these stories? - My cute stories? 295 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,481 Yeah, I mean have you got an office or anything? 296 00:15:42,565 --> 00:15:45,148 No. Well, about half the time I'm at my apartment, 297 00:15:45,231 --> 00:15:46,356 and the other half 298 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,481 I'm over at this coffee shop on 73rd and Madison. 299 00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:52,315 Oh, Carrie, I'd like you to meet Misha. 300 00:15:53,523 --> 00:15:56,981 - Oh. Hi. You were great in the show. - Thank you. 301 00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,898 Suddenly I felt like I was wearing patchouli 302 00:15:59,981 --> 00:16:01,606 in a room full of Chanel. 303 00:16:02,065 --> 00:16:03,398 Well, it was nice talking to you. 304 00:16:03,773 --> 00:16:06,815 Oh. See you around sometime, I hope. 305 00:16:08,606 --> 00:16:11,523 The truth was, I thought I had come to terms with my looks 306 00:16:11,606 --> 00:16:13,148 the year I turned 30… 307 00:16:13,231 --> 00:16:17,190 when I realized that I no longer had the energy to be completely superficial. 308 00:16:17,273 --> 00:16:20,773 Your friend, Barkley, he's really been coming on to me. 309 00:16:20,856 --> 00:16:22,773 Do you actually think he believes I'm a model? 310 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,773 Well, whatever it is, you don't want to go there. 311 00:16:24,856 --> 00:16:26,106 Why not? 312 00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:30,023 He has this thing for secretly taping his conquests. 313 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,106 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 314 00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:33,606 What a pervert. 315 00:16:36,231 --> 00:16:38,690 As Samantha began to get ready for her close-up, 316 00:16:38,773 --> 00:16:41,065 I felt it was time to call it a night. 317 00:16:43,148 --> 00:16:45,898 I had never felt so invisible in my entire life. 318 00:16:45,981 --> 00:16:47,231 Taxi! 319 00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:54,606 - Carrie. - Hey, hi. 320 00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:56,190 Did Stanford leave? 321 00:16:56,273 --> 00:16:59,023 No, he's in there giving a neck massage to a Versace model. 322 00:16:59,898 --> 00:17:01,106 So, where are you going now? 323 00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:03,523 - Oh, I'm going home. - Can I come? 324 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:07,065 - You wanna come home with me? - Sure, if it's quiet. 325 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,690 I can't take these crowds. 326 00:17:13,773 --> 00:17:16,606 The things you gotta do in the name of research. 327 00:17:22,981 --> 00:17:26,065 Shouldn't you be spending the night with some girl from the show? 328 00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:28,315 No, I never date models. 329 00:17:28,856 --> 00:17:30,273 I think they're stupid. 330 00:17:30,648 --> 00:17:33,648 I wondered if there wasn't some kind of physics for beauty. 331 00:17:34,190 --> 00:17:36,231 Maybe two models repelled. 332 00:17:36,315 --> 00:17:39,773 Maybe models could only be attracted to ordinary humans. 333 00:17:42,481 --> 00:17:44,940 So, I think it's so cool that you write. 334 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,981 - Thanks. - I wish I could write. 335 00:17:48,356 --> 00:17:49,523 Got all these intense thoughts, 336 00:17:49,606 --> 00:17:51,315 but I can't keep them in my head long enough 337 00:17:51,398 --> 00:17:52,856 to get them down on paper. 338 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:54,065 Well… 339 00:17:54,148 --> 00:17:55,648 That's the big trick. 340 00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:57,481 The truth is, I'm totally neurotic. 341 00:17:58,273 --> 00:18:01,273 One minute I can be walking down the street, totally cool, 342 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:04,148 and the next minute I'm depressed for no reason. 343 00:18:04,898 --> 00:18:06,648 I'm totally self-conscious. 344 00:18:06,731 --> 00:18:08,231 Like before I say something, 345 00:18:08,315 --> 00:18:10,815 I say it in my head first so it doesn't come out wrong. 346 00:18:12,940 --> 00:18:14,856 Doesn't that seem like a waste of time? 347 00:18:15,565 --> 00:18:16,940 Only takes a second. 348 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:25,023 - And sometimes I get so distracted. - What's distracting you now? 349 00:18:25,106 --> 00:18:26,731 Your nose. 350 00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:29,523 - Thanks a lot. I hate my nose. - No. 351 00:18:29,606 --> 00:18:33,231 It's just so cute. I hate my nose, too. It's too big. 352 00:18:33,315 --> 00:18:35,856 - But I think it depends on my hair. - Yeah. 353 00:18:38,481 --> 00:18:40,148 I see what you mean. 354 00:18:40,231 --> 00:18:42,106 So what do you want to be when you grow up? 355 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:45,398 Oh, well, I think this might be it. 356 00:18:46,898 --> 00:18:48,440 What do you want to be when you grow up? 357 00:18:48,773 --> 00:18:52,273 I'd like to move back to Iowa and have kids and be a cop. 358 00:18:55,981 --> 00:18:58,648 I felt like I was in my bedroom when I was 16 359 00:18:58,731 --> 00:19:01,481 and I used to hang out with this guy who was really beautiful, 360 00:19:01,565 --> 00:19:04,565 and my parents thought I was helping him with his chemistry homework. 361 00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:06,940 Do you mind if we just lie here? 362 00:19:07,690 --> 00:19:09,273 I get so Ionely in the city. 363 00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:12,273 Sometimes it's just nice to lie with someone. 364 00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:14,481 Sure. 365 00:19:15,773 --> 00:19:17,356 We could do that. 366 00:19:18,481 --> 00:19:21,481 It was hard to imagine that anyone so beautiful, 367 00:19:21,565 --> 00:19:23,065 could ever be Ionely. 368 00:19:25,356 --> 00:19:27,940 Meanwhile, somewhere below 14th Street, 369 00:19:28,023 --> 00:19:31,523 two ordinary joes were doing their own Ionely late-night thing. 370 00:19:31,606 --> 00:19:33,481 - Anything else, miss? - No, that's it. 371 00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:36,356 - Just cat food? - Yes, just cat food. 372 00:19:36,981 --> 00:19:38,273 Hey! 373 00:19:39,023 --> 00:19:40,940 Oh, hi, Skipper. 374 00:19:41,023 --> 00:19:44,106 So like, how come you haven't been returning any of my calls? 375 00:19:44,190 --> 00:19:46,440 I'm sorry. It's been a really busy week. 376 00:19:46,815 --> 00:19:49,065 - I thought we had a connection. - Oh… 377 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,315 I don't know. Could I get my change? 378 00:19:52,398 --> 00:19:54,690 You mean you get that way with every guy that you're with? 379 00:19:55,148 --> 00:19:56,940 No, it's just… 380 00:19:59,356 --> 00:20:02,023 Don't you wanna go out with a girl your own age? 381 00:20:02,106 --> 00:20:03,648 It's got nothing to do with age. 382 00:20:03,731 --> 00:20:04,731 I… 383 00:20:05,481 --> 00:20:07,231 I think you're luminous. 384 00:20:08,648 --> 00:20:10,648 - You think I'm luminous? - Totally. 385 00:20:12,648 --> 00:20:14,940 Miranda couldn't resist the vision of herself 386 00:20:15,023 --> 00:20:17,356 reflected in Skipper's slightly smudged lenses. 387 00:20:19,981 --> 00:20:21,315 All right, let's get out of here. 388 00:20:22,148 --> 00:20:24,315 Okay, yeah. Let me just pay for my Cap'n Crunch. 389 00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:26,856 There's cereal at my place. 390 00:20:27,606 --> 00:20:28,606 Oh. 391 00:20:34,523 --> 00:20:37,523 And Samantha found the ultimate validation… 392 00:20:37,606 --> 00:20:39,231 Sex with Barkley. 393 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:40,981 So, uh… 394 00:20:43,106 --> 00:20:44,856 where is it? 395 00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:45,940 What? 396 00:20:46,815 --> 00:20:47,981 The camera. 397 00:20:49,856 --> 00:20:51,273 Your friend, Carrie, tell you about that? 398 00:20:51,356 --> 00:20:52,731 Uh-huh. 399 00:20:52,815 --> 00:20:54,773 Don't worry. I only tape models. 400 00:20:57,648 --> 00:20:58,981 I won't mind. 401 00:21:01,065 --> 00:21:02,940 Fine. I'll make an exception. 402 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,898 Samantha demanded nothing less than the same consideration 403 00:21:16,981 --> 00:21:18,856 given every other model in town. 404 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,315 - Hello? - Carrie, it's Stanford. 405 00:21:30,815 --> 00:21:33,440 Do you have any idea what happened to Derek last night? 406 00:21:33,523 --> 00:21:34,940 Actually… 407 00:21:35,023 --> 00:21:36,731 you'll never believe it, but… 408 00:21:36,815 --> 00:21:38,106 Yes? 409 00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:41,356 It's Stanford. 410 00:21:45,898 --> 00:21:48,981 - Hi, Stanford. - Uh… Derek? 411 00:21:49,690 --> 00:21:51,565 Could you put Carrie back on the phone? 412 00:21:51,648 --> 00:21:52,731 Sure. 413 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,648 - Hello. - How could you? 414 00:21:59,148 --> 00:22:01,815 I didn't. We just talked. 415 00:22:03,148 --> 00:22:04,565 I knew he was gay. 416 00:22:11,565 --> 00:22:13,981 It's amazing what you'll do to be with these models. 417 00:22:14,065 --> 00:22:15,773 I've gotta retire soon. 418 00:22:15,856 --> 00:22:19,190 They keep me from getting work done, they make me fuck up my life. 419 00:22:19,273 --> 00:22:22,481 Look at me! I'm an old man at 34. 420 00:22:27,106 --> 00:22:29,356 I began to realize that being beautiful 421 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,731 is like having a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park. 422 00:22:32,815 --> 00:22:37,481 Completely unfair and usually bestowed upon those who deserve it least. 423 00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:39,731 I'm not interrupting your work, am I? 424 00:22:39,815 --> 00:22:42,523 Hey, what a surprise. 425 00:22:42,606 --> 00:22:44,440 I can't stay. I'm late for a meeting. 426 00:22:44,523 --> 00:22:46,815 But I've been thinking about that article you're writing 427 00:22:46,898 --> 00:22:48,148 about men who date models. 428 00:22:48,523 --> 00:22:49,815 Yeah, what about them? 429 00:22:49,898 --> 00:22:50,898 First of all, 430 00:22:51,648 --> 00:22:54,023 well, there are so many goddamn gorgeous women out there in this city. 431 00:22:55,190 --> 00:22:57,106 What an amazing observation. 432 00:22:59,190 --> 00:23:00,481 But the thing is this. 433 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:02,565 After a while, 434 00:23:03,731 --> 00:23:05,690 you just wanna be with the one that makes you laugh. 435 00:23:07,648 --> 00:23:08,940 Know what I mean? 436 00:23:15,690 --> 00:23:16,690 Okay. 437 00:23:17,273 --> 00:23:18,273 See ya. 438 00:23:29,231 --> 00:23:30,440 I take that back. 439 00:23:30,523 --> 00:23:32,065 Beauty is fleeting. 440 00:23:33,231 --> 00:23:36,773 But a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever.