1
00:00:47,475 --> 00:00:49,725
Two weeks ago,
I had my picture taken.

2
00:00:51,350 --> 00:00:53,308
Look up. Good, good.

3
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:01,475
It was a promotional
photo for my column,

4
00:01:01,558 --> 00:01:03,641
scheduled to run on the side of a bus.

5
00:01:06,016 --> 00:01:07,516
I had misgivings.

6
00:01:10,683 --> 00:01:13,891
Which were somewhat mollified when
they told me I could keep the dress.

7
00:01:17,391 --> 00:01:19,058
All right, we got it.

8
00:01:19,141 --> 00:01:20,391
Friday night.

9
00:01:20,475 --> 00:01:23,391
In lieu of any actual
social life of their own,

10
00:01:23,475 --> 00:01:26,308
Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte
had all stopped by

11
00:01:26,391 --> 00:01:30,225
to live vicariously through
my first official date with Mr. Big.

12
00:01:30,308 --> 00:01:31,516
Carrie!

13
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:36,475
Oh, honey, it's fabulous.

14
00:01:36,558 --> 00:01:38,058
Bravo!

15
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:40,558
It's tits on toast, baby.
But you make it work.

16
00:01:40,641 --> 00:01:43,516
Well, let's just say it.
It's the "naked dress."

17
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,058
I mean, you're obviously
gonna have sex with him tonight.

18
00:01:46,141 --> 00:01:47,308
Come on, it's our first date!

19
00:01:47,391 --> 00:01:48,433
She's not gonna have sex.

20
00:01:48,516 --> 00:01:49,891
She's just gonna look like sex.

21
00:01:49,975 --> 00:01:52,225
That's right, I'm just the trailer.

22
00:01:52,308 --> 00:01:54,266
Please, if it happens, it happens.

23
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:55,766
- Bottoms up.
- Wait a second.

24
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:56,891
Ooh…

25
00:01:56,975 --> 00:01:58,433
I thought you were serious
about this guy.

26
00:01:58,516 --> 00:02:00,058
You can't sleep with him
on the first date.

27
00:02:00,141 --> 00:02:02,433
Oh, God, here she goes again
with "the rules."

28
00:02:02,516 --> 00:02:03,683
The women who wrote that book,

29
00:02:03,766 --> 00:02:05,600
they wrote it because
they couldn't get laid.

30
00:02:05,683 --> 00:02:07,475
So they constructed
this whole bullshit theory

31
00:02:07,558 --> 00:02:09,808
to make women who can get laid feel bad.

32
00:02:09,891 --> 00:02:11,266
But if you're serious about a guy,

33
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:12,975
then you have to keep him
in a holding pattern

34
00:02:13,058 --> 00:02:14,725
for at least five dates.

35
00:02:14,808 --> 00:02:15,751
Oh, you've gone up.

36
00:02:15,766 --> 00:02:19,600
Yes, because the number of dates
that you wait to have sex with a man

37
00:02:19,683 --> 00:02:22,225
is directly proportional to your age.

38
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,391
Forget the math.

39
00:02:23,475 --> 00:02:25,683
Just don't fuck
on a first date, you're fine.

40
00:02:25,766 --> 00:02:27,058
- Third date.
- Too soon!

41
00:02:27,141 --> 00:02:28,183
Reality check.

42
00:02:28,266 --> 00:02:31,683
A guy can just as easily dump you
if you fuck him on the first date

43
00:02:31,766 --> 00:02:33,808
as he can if you wait until the tenth!

44
00:02:33,891 --> 00:02:35,933
When have you ever been on a tenth date?

45
00:02:36,016 --> 00:02:37,766
And by then, at least
you're emotionally involved.

46
00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:38,850
Exactly.

47
00:02:38,891 --> 00:02:40,850
I mean, isn't it better
to find out if the sex

48
00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:42,100
is good right off the bat,

49
00:02:42,183 --> 00:02:43,808
before anybody's feelings get hurt?

50
00:02:43,891 --> 00:02:45,350
But it's okay to have hurt feelings.

51
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,141
And you always handle those so well.

52
00:02:47,225 --> 00:02:49,266
Well, there is something
to be said for restraint.

53
00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:50,683
When did you become such a Victorian?

54
00:02:50,766 --> 00:02:52,725
The Victorians were on to something.

55
00:02:52,808 --> 00:02:53,933
They valued romance.

56
00:02:54,016 --> 00:02:56,725
True romance cannot exist
without good sex.

57
00:02:56,808 --> 00:02:58,641
And yet you can have
good sex with someone

58
00:02:58,725 --> 00:03:00,641
you don't like or respect…

59
00:03:00,725 --> 00:03:02,016
Or even remember.

60
00:03:04,141 --> 00:03:06,350
All right, well, ladies,
I'm just going to dinner.

61
00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:07,918
Goodnight.

62
00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:09,475
Bye, have fun.

63
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,100
Bye.

64
00:03:16,225 --> 00:03:18,308
The truth is, I was dying
to sleep with him.

65
00:03:18,391 --> 00:03:21,433
But isn't delayed gratification
the definition of maturity?

66
00:03:31,475 --> 00:03:32,933
Interesting dress.

67
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,600
Meaning?

68
00:03:35,183 --> 00:03:36,766
Interesting dress.

69
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:57,975
Don't worry. I'm perfectly
capable of restraining myself.

70
00:03:58,058 --> 00:03:59,266
So am I.

71
00:04:08,475 --> 00:04:10,391
I can't be hemmed in by rules.

72
00:04:10,475 --> 00:04:11,850
I go with my emotions.

73
00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:14,433
I mean, some of the greatest
romances of all time

74
00:04:14,516 --> 00:04:16,350
began with sex on the first date…

75
00:04:17,266 --> 00:04:18,266
I bet.

76
00:04:20,308 --> 00:04:22,100
I will not be the first one to speak.

77
00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:23,350
And if he never calls me again,

78
00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:25,141
I'll always think of him fondly…

79
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:26,975
as an asshole.

80
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,183
That was really…

81
00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:34,308
I mean, can you believe we,
on the first date?

82
00:04:35,725 --> 00:04:37,641
I mean, I didn't plan that,
you know. I…

83
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:43,266
What do you think?

84
00:04:43,641 --> 00:04:45,683
What? Ow.

85
00:04:45,766 --> 00:04:47,558
Oh…

86
00:04:48,475 --> 00:04:51,725
Uh, I thought it was
pretty fucking great.

87
00:04:52,308 --> 00:04:53,808
But what do I know?

88
00:04:57,725 --> 00:04:59,558
You feel like having some Szechuan?

89
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,058
Had Mr. Big
discovered my weakness

90
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,183
for great sex and greasy Chinese?

91
00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:12,933
Or was going out to dinner

92
00:05:13,016 --> 00:05:16,600
simply a diversionary tactic to keep me
from spending the night?

93
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:19,891
Before I was able to completely
indulge my paranoia…

94
00:05:20,308 --> 00:05:22,433
It was my pal, Mike Singer.

95
00:05:22,766 --> 00:05:25,683
We've known each other for ten years,
but never had sex,

96
00:05:25,766 --> 00:05:28,183
because we want to know each other
for another ten years.

97
00:05:28,266 --> 00:05:29,266
Hey!

98
00:05:30,475 --> 00:05:32,641
Carrie, what are you doing here?

99
00:05:32,725 --> 00:05:33,975
- Well, I'm with, um…
- Oh, that's him.

100
00:05:34,058 --> 00:05:35,933
No, no, I'll tell you about it later.
I'll tell you later.

101
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,725
You look great.

102
00:05:39,058 --> 00:05:40,683
- Not too naked?
- Uh…

103
00:05:40,766 --> 00:05:42,058
Just naked enough.

104
00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:49,016
Hi, I'm Carrie Bradshaw.

105
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,350
I'm an old friend of Mike's.

106
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,376
I'm Libby Biyalick.

107
00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:52,808
It's so nice to finally meet a friend.

108
00:05:52,891 --> 00:05:54,308
So, I'll call you.

109
00:05:56,391 --> 00:05:59,183
Okay, great. Well, have a good dinner.

110
00:05:59,266 --> 00:06:00,641
Nice to meet you.

111
00:06:00,975 --> 00:06:04,600
I left the table wondering why Mike
didn't want to introduce me to his date.

112
00:06:05,725 --> 00:06:08,725
Jab, cross!
Again, jab, cross!

113
00:06:09,683 --> 00:06:11,058
That very same night,

114
00:06:11,141 --> 00:06:14,433
something absolutely
amazing happened to Miranda.

115
00:06:14,516 --> 00:06:15,933
Come on! Jab, cross, kick!

116
00:06:17,933 --> 00:06:19,266
Oh, my God, oh, my God!

117
00:06:19,350 --> 00:06:21,016
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean…

118
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,141
She met someone in gym class.

119
00:06:23,225 --> 00:06:24,475
Are you… Oh, God.

120
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:28,141
- Are you sure you're okay?
- I'm fine, really.

121
00:06:28,891 --> 00:06:31,266
So, what exactly about my head
pissed you off?

122
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,725
I wish there was something I could do.

123
00:06:34,808 --> 00:06:37,975
Well, you could buy me dinner sometime.

124
00:06:38,391 --> 00:06:40,350
And a CAT scan.

125
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,850
His name was Ted Baker.

126
00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:44,725
He was 32 years old,
a sports medicine doctor

127
00:06:44,808 --> 00:06:47,766
with an apartment overlooking
the Natural History Museum.

128
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:50,266
Three prior serious relationships,

129
00:06:50,808 --> 00:06:52,391
none resulting in marriage.

130
00:06:53,683 --> 00:06:54,975
A kiss to make it better.

131
00:06:56,725 --> 00:06:59,891
So, really, can I call you sometime?

132
00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:02,850
Sure.

133
00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:08,641
He left a message
on my machine when I got home.

134
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:10,516
He wants to go out this week.

135
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,183
Hey, that's fantastic!

136
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,850
No, it's too quick.

137
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,308
I think maybe that kick in his head
scrambled his brains.

138
00:07:16,391 --> 00:07:19,141
No, too quick is sleeping
with him on the first date.

139
00:07:19,225 --> 00:07:20,225
That's too quick.

140
00:07:20,308 --> 00:07:22,266
You both got excited
and you went for it.

141
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:23,516
Stop blaming yourself.

142
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:24,600
No, I don't blame myself.

143
00:07:24,683 --> 00:07:26,766
I blame the dress, the dress.

144
00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:29,350
The dress led me on,
had a life of its own.

145
00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:31,558
Oh, then we went to this
Chinese restaurant afterwards,

146
00:07:31,641 --> 00:07:33,391
and you'll never guess who I ran into.

147
00:07:33,475 --> 00:07:35,475
- Who?
- Mike Singer, out on a date.

148
00:07:35,558 --> 00:07:36,850
The whole world's in love.

149
00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:38,225
Oh. I'm not sure, I don't know.

150
00:07:38,308 --> 00:07:41,016
He was acting very weird.
Like, he, uh…

151
00:07:41,350 --> 00:07:43,391
like he didn't want me
to meet her or something.

152
00:07:43,475 --> 00:07:44,516
What's her name?

153
00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:46,766
Her name was Libby Biyalick.

154
00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:50,058
Mike told me everything that afternoon,
while I helped him pick out sheets

155
00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:51,516
at Bed, Bath & Beyond.

156
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,766
So, how long have you been seeing her?

157
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,141
A while.

158
00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:57,975
Is this a painful topic?

159
00:07:58,058 --> 00:08:01,225
No, it's just, she's not
someone I date openly.

160
00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:02,475
Why, is she married?

161
00:08:02,558 --> 00:08:03,600
No.

162
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:04,850
Is she a cousin?

163
00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:05,975
No.

164
00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:10,100
Look, the thing is, she's smart,

165
00:08:10,183 --> 00:08:13,850
she's incredibly sweet,
and the sex is great.

166
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:17,183
Well, she's just not
the one I see myself with.

167
00:08:17,266 --> 00:08:18,391
Why not?

168
00:08:19,475 --> 00:08:21,100
It was about three months ago.

169
00:08:21,683 --> 00:08:25,266
Mike had been dumped by Fiona Brooks,
a cellist for the Philharmonic,

170
00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:28,141
who he was trying to forget
as quickly as possible.

171
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,891
They had both loved to cook,

172
00:08:30,975 --> 00:08:34,016
and shopping for the week
was a Saturday morning ritual.

173
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:37,141
So he was feeling
particularly vulnerable when…

174
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,975
Care to try some
aged sheep's milk cheese

175
00:08:39,058 --> 00:08:40,766
from the Tyrolean Alps?

176
00:08:41,725 --> 00:08:42,725
Thanks.

177
00:08:48,308 --> 00:08:49,683
Mmm, it's good.

178
00:08:49,766 --> 00:08:51,433
It's made by monks.

179
00:08:52,016 --> 00:08:53,850
- Really?
- Trappist monks.

180
00:08:56,183 --> 00:08:58,350
Fresh goat cheese from the Napa Valley.

181
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,100
It's delicious.

182
00:09:05,225 --> 00:09:07,558
L'explorateur.

183
00:09:07,641 --> 00:09:09,850
It's a triple creme from France.

184
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:24,183
Mike found himself
very uninhibited.

185
00:09:25,475 --> 00:09:27,433
Since he didn't think
Libby was that gorgeous,

186
00:09:27,516 --> 00:09:28,600
there wasn't any pressure.

187
00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:38,266
The next morning,
he woke up and felt at ease,

188
00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:39,766
very relaxed.

189
00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:41,850
I'm a creative director of an ad agency,

190
00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:45,433
but eventually I'd love
to have my own shop.

191
00:09:46,475 --> 00:09:48,475
I'd love to have my own shop, too.

192
00:09:49,725 --> 00:09:52,475
Well, cheese shop, I mean.

193
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:55,141
She was one of the only women
he'd ever met

194
00:09:55,225 --> 00:09:57,350
who he felt he could just be with.

195
00:09:57,891 --> 00:09:59,308
So what's the problem?

196
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:03,016
Look, she's not beautiful,

197
00:10:03,558 --> 00:10:05,641
and we don't have a lot in common.

198
00:10:05,725 --> 00:10:07,975
I mean, you know,
most of her friends are in dairy.

199
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:12,225
But she's warm,
and unpretentious, and…

200
00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:15,516
it is the best sex
I've ever had in my life.

201
00:10:16,391 --> 00:10:18,766
What are you afraid of?
What other people are gonna think?

202
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,266
Look, all I know is that

203
00:10:20,350 --> 00:10:22,516
she's not the right woman
for me in the larger sense.

204
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:25,683
So I keep her a secret.

205
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:30,725
I couldn't decide whether
Mike was being shallow or honest.

206
00:10:31,808 --> 00:10:34,141
But the question nagged me for days.

207
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:37,725
How many of us out there
are having great sex

208
00:10:37,808 --> 00:10:40,766
with people we're ashamed to
introduce to our friends?

209
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:45,183
Have I ever had fabulous sex
with someone I didn't want to admit to?

210
00:10:47,058 --> 00:10:48,058
Mm.

211
00:10:48,516 --> 00:10:49,725
Did I ever tell you

212
00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:52,558
about that jazz musician
who lived with his mother in Queens?

213
00:10:52,641 --> 00:10:53,683
Yeah, Alex.

214
00:10:53,766 --> 00:10:55,183
What about the window washer?

215
00:10:55,266 --> 00:10:57,100
The one who doesn't wear any underwear?

216
00:10:57,683 --> 00:11:00,850
I met this gorgeous kid
in Spy Bar last year.

217
00:11:00,933 --> 00:11:03,016
He turned out to be in high school.

218
00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:06,433
Evidently, Samantha had had lots of sex,

219
00:11:07,058 --> 00:11:08,600
none of which was secret.

220
00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:11,641
Fine, it just proves that
I'm not ashamed of anyone

221
00:11:11,725 --> 00:11:12,850
who I've slept with.

222
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,725
Okay, here it is.

223
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,225
Up here.

224
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,683
Oh, you look…

225
00:11:24,391 --> 00:11:25,391
Naked.

226
00:11:25,891 --> 00:11:27,141
There it was,

227
00:11:27,225 --> 00:11:30,808
the dress that lead me down
the garden path with Mr. Big.

228
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,100
I shouldn't be embarrassed?

229
00:11:32,683 --> 00:11:34,391
No, you look fabulous!

230
00:11:34,891 --> 00:11:36,891
Besides, there's no such thing
as bad publicity.

231
00:11:36,975 --> 00:11:38,891
Yeah. You would say that,
you're a publicist.

232
00:11:38,975 --> 00:11:41,891
You know, we need to go
someplace absolutely fabulous

233
00:11:41,975 --> 00:11:43,683
where we can toast you,
where the bus goes by.

234
00:11:43,766 --> 00:11:44,850
And you can invite Mr. Big.

235
00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:46,433
No, no, no, I don't think so.

236
00:11:46,516 --> 00:11:48,350
I haven't heard from him
since we spent the night together.

237
00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:49,975
Oh, sweetie, forget about him.

238
00:11:50,058 --> 00:11:52,308
You are gonna be on the side of a bus.

239
00:11:52,391 --> 00:11:54,641
Ten million men are gonna
be drooling over you

240
00:11:54,725 --> 00:11:56,308
every morning on their way to work.

241
00:11:57,058 --> 00:11:59,641
It's the best personal ad
I've ever seen in my life.

242
00:12:00,308 --> 00:12:01,891
Samantha had a particular knack

243
00:12:01,975 --> 00:12:04,808
for turning a desperate situation
into a hopeless one.

244
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,391
Oh, speaking of secret sex,

245
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:10,600
did Charlotte ever tell you
about the rabbi?

246
00:12:10,683 --> 00:12:11,683
The rabbi?

247
00:12:11,766 --> 00:12:12,751
Excuse me?

248
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,266
You know who I'm talking about.

249
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:16,016
I cannot believe that
the two of you came down here

250
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,308
to interrogate me at work!

251
00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:18,975
I'm sorry, it's my fault.

252
00:12:19,683 --> 00:12:22,183
Anyway, he wasn't a rabbi.

253
00:12:22,266 --> 00:12:25,141
He was a Hasidic folk artist
from Brooklyn.

254
00:12:25,225 --> 00:12:26,683
Close enough.

255
00:12:28,391 --> 00:12:31,683
Evidently, Charlotte
had seen Shmuel's work in an exhibition,

256
00:12:31,766 --> 00:12:34,141
and scheduled an appointment
to meet him at his studio.

257
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:37,350
These are outstanding.

258
00:12:38,141 --> 00:12:39,266
So much life.

259
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:41,891
You have a beautiful way with light.

260
00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:43,433
Thank you.

261
00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:53,475
Now, this one is really special.

262
00:12:54,266 --> 00:12:55,391
That's my Yeshiva.

263
00:12:57,558 --> 00:13:00,641
I wanted to capture
the exuberance of youth.

264
00:13:01,016 --> 00:13:04,308
Charlotte quickly became
intoxicated by his talent,

265
00:13:04,391 --> 00:13:07,516
his strangeness
and the smell of his wool.

266
00:13:07,891 --> 00:13:09,058
Magical.

267
00:13:16,141 --> 00:13:18,683
It was so sexy, so forbidden.

268
00:13:19,058 --> 00:13:21,058
Daddy's little Episcopalian princess

269
00:13:21,141 --> 00:13:23,641
in the arms
of one of God's chosen people.

270
00:13:25,891 --> 00:13:29,475
We would talk about art
and sex and the Torah.

271
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:32,016
Well, why didn't you
introduce him to anybody?

272
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,558
I was embarrassed.

273
00:13:33,683 --> 00:13:35,266
I mean, I couldn't really date him.

274
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:37,016
And he couldn't date me.

275
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,725
I mean, what would people think?

276
00:13:38,808 --> 00:13:41,558
If the sex is good,
who cares what anybody thinks?

277
00:13:41,641 --> 00:13:44,891
Now you cannot put this
in your column. Promise?

278
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:46,433
I promise.

279
00:13:46,516 --> 00:13:49,391
Was secret sex
the ultimate form of intimacy,

280
00:13:49,475 --> 00:13:53,516
since it existed in a pure state,
exempt from the judgment of the world?

281
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,266
Or is it just another way in
which we deny our feelings

282
00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:58,891
and emotionally
compartmentalize our lives?

283
00:14:04,391 --> 00:14:05,391
Hello?

284
00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:07,100
Do you miss me yet?

285
00:14:07,183 --> 00:14:08,350
Who is this?

286
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:09,516
How've you been?

287
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,933
Oh, great.

288
00:14:13,391 --> 00:14:15,475
Fabulous, fantastic actually, and you?

289
00:14:15,558 --> 00:14:19,100
Well, at the risk of sounding trite…

290
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,266
I haven't been able
to stop thinking about you.

291
00:14:23,766 --> 00:14:25,100
I adore trite.

292
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:31,225
Listen, we should have
a real first date.

293
00:14:31,308 --> 00:14:33,475
You know, the traditional American kind.

294
00:14:33,558 --> 00:14:35,016
Dinner and a movie?

295
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:37,475
Of course, knowing us,
we'll skip the movie.

296
00:14:37,808 --> 00:14:39,641
Just as long as we don't skip dinner.

297
00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:42,516
What a relief.

298
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,808
I had just escaped
the "sex on the first date" curse.

299
00:14:44,891 --> 00:14:45,975
Whew!

300
00:14:46,058 --> 00:14:48,558
That weekend,
I was out with a man whose name

301
00:14:48,641 --> 00:14:50,850
I wanted to shout from the rooftops.

302
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,641
Let me get this straight,

303
00:14:53,016 --> 00:14:56,141
your picture is going to be on a bus?

304
00:14:56,225 --> 00:14:57,641
That's right.

305
00:14:58,225 --> 00:15:00,766
A cross town bus, or a downtown bus?

306
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:03,100
The M2. It goes right down Fifth.

307
00:15:04,225 --> 00:15:05,516
That's a good line.

308
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,183
I'm getting together
a group of my friends

309
00:15:07,266 --> 00:15:08,933
tomorrow afternoon to watch it go by.

310
00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:11,766
I thought, maybe if you
weren't doing anything…

311
00:15:11,850 --> 00:15:13,308
Hey, how are ya?

312
00:15:13,933 --> 00:15:16,683
Hey, hey, how are ya?
It's good to see you.

313
00:15:16,766 --> 00:15:18,766
- You remember Phyllis.
- Of course, Phyllis.

314
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:20,808
- How are you?
- Everything good?

315
00:15:20,891 --> 00:15:23,225
Yeah, everything's dandy.

316
00:15:23,308 --> 00:15:24,766
Well, that's what I hear.

317
00:15:27,725 --> 00:15:30,308
- So, uh, good to see you.
- Good to see you again.

318
00:15:30,391 --> 00:15:32,350
- Good seeing you. Bye.
- Bye-bye, cheers.

319
00:15:35,558 --> 00:15:36,460
Who was that?

320
00:15:36,475 --> 00:15:38,641
Oh, it's just some guy
I skied with in Aspen.

321
00:15:39,475 --> 00:15:41,016
I didn't understand.

322
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:43,725
Had I suddenly become
the invisible woman?

323
00:15:43,808 --> 00:15:45,808
I tried not to let it bother me.

324
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:50,266
I also tried not to let it bother me
that he took me back to Fung Wa,

325
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,308
scene of our post-coital dinner.

326
00:15:53,141 --> 00:15:55,100
Oh, I can't make your party tomorrow.

327
00:15:55,475 --> 00:15:56,475
Oh, no.

328
00:15:56,516 --> 00:15:58,350
I wanted to introduce you
to some of my friends.

329
00:15:58,433 --> 00:16:00,350
Well, I'll be home later if you miss me.

330
00:16:02,433 --> 00:16:04,100
As I surveyed the room,

331
00:16:04,475 --> 00:16:08,350
I realized it smelled like a cheap date
you don't want anyone to meet.

332
00:16:09,475 --> 00:16:11,933
I told Mr. Big I was on a deadline
and I had to get home.

333
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,016
- Hello?
- Listen, I have a question.

334
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,350
Of all the restaurants in Manhattan,

335
00:16:19,433 --> 00:16:21,058
why did you take Libby to Fung Wa?

336
00:16:21,141 --> 00:16:22,933
Well, it's pretty obscure.

337
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:24,766
There's not much of a chance
of running into anybody I know.

338
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:26,641
So, you mean
it's the kind of a place

339
00:16:26,725 --> 00:16:29,100
that men take women they don't want
to be seen with in public?

340
00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:30,766
Yes, it is perfect for that.

341
00:16:31,183 --> 00:16:32,933
Oh, sorry.

342
00:16:33,016 --> 00:16:34,475
The evidence was mounting.

343
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:38,266
Was it possible that I had become
Mr. Big's secret sex girl?

344
00:16:39,225 --> 00:16:40,350
The next morning,

345
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:43,475
Miranda discovered a shocking
sex secret of her own.

346
00:16:43,808 --> 00:16:46,141
She had just spent
a wonderful night with Ted,

347
00:16:46,225 --> 00:16:47,600
who had to leave early in the morning

348
00:16:47,683 --> 00:16:50,308
to catch a flight to DC
for a spinal conference.

349
00:16:50,391 --> 00:16:52,100
I can go home, it's no big deal.

350
00:16:52,183 --> 00:16:54,308
No, stay, it's 6:00 a.m.

351
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,183
I'll be back tonight.

352
00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:00,641
Want to do something?

353
00:17:00,725 --> 00:17:03,100
- I'd love to.
- All right, I'll call you at work.

354
00:17:03,183 --> 00:17:04,558
Have a good flight.

355
00:17:11,975 --> 00:17:13,975
Miranda waited
for the dead bolt to drop,

356
00:17:14,058 --> 00:17:16,725
and then used the opportunity
to ransack Ted's apartment

357
00:17:16,808 --> 00:17:18,891
and look for pictures
of old girlfriends.

358
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:26,141
She was not at all prepared
for what she found.

359
00:17:32,891 --> 00:17:37,516
Yeah? Do you feel your cock
where it wants to be every night?

360
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,558
Every single night when you come home
and everything's done in the house

361
00:17:41,641 --> 00:17:43,516
and I've been doing it all day long…

362
00:17:43,641 --> 00:17:45,183
I don't know what to do.

363
00:17:45,558 --> 00:17:46,850
I can't admit to having found this,

364
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,975
but now I don't know
if I want to see him again.

365
00:17:49,641 --> 00:17:51,391
How can you judge him
until you spank him?

366
00:17:53,225 --> 00:17:54,391
I'm only kidding.

367
00:17:54,475 --> 00:17:57,558
But, I mean, obviously,
this is what he's into.

368
00:17:58,266 --> 00:17:59,933
Maybe it's just his fantasy life.

369
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,225
Later that day,

370
00:18:04,308 --> 00:18:07,808
the cream of New York gathered to toast
the maiden voyage of my bus.

371
00:18:07,891 --> 00:18:09,058
Where's Mr. Big?

372
00:18:09,141 --> 00:18:10,766
Oh, he couldn't make it.

373
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:12,350
What do you mean he couldn't make it?

374
00:18:12,433 --> 00:18:13,975
I don't know, it's a work thing.

375
00:18:14,058 --> 00:18:16,058
Oh, but this is your bus party!

376
00:18:16,141 --> 00:18:18,391
Oh, I told you, you shouldn't have…

377
00:18:18,475 --> 00:18:19,933
Well, never mind.

378
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,141
What, he's not here because
I slept with him on the first date?

379
00:18:23,225 --> 00:18:24,725
Basically, yes.

380
00:18:24,808 --> 00:18:26,350
When you sleep with a man
on the first date,

381
00:18:26,433 --> 00:18:28,725
the relationship will never be
anything more than just sex.

382
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,350
- Uh-huh.
- Okay, thank you.

383
00:18:30,433 --> 00:18:31,600
- Cheers!
- Cheers!

384
00:18:31,683 --> 00:18:33,225
I didn't want to admit
that she was right.

385
00:18:33,308 --> 00:18:34,891
Ah, here it comes,
here it comes!

386
00:18:34,975 --> 00:18:37,766
I just wanted to see my bus
and get the hell out of there.

387
00:18:39,391 --> 00:18:41,433
- Oh, shit.
- Carrie!

388
00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:43,808
- Hi, did I miss it?
- Hey! Hi.

389
00:18:43,891 --> 00:18:44,975
Not yet, no.

390
00:18:45,058 --> 00:18:46,641
Hey, I thought you were
gonna bring Libby…

391
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,766
Oh, yeah. I finally asked her
to join me in public

392
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:50,308
and she turns me down.

393
00:18:50,391 --> 00:18:51,600
Why?

394
00:18:51,683 --> 00:18:52,808
She told me she met somebody else

395
00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:54,475
who doesn't have
my problems with intimacy.

396
00:18:54,558 --> 00:18:55,975
Oh, I'm sorry.

397
00:18:56,058 --> 00:18:57,725
Uh! Quiet!

398
00:18:57,808 --> 00:18:58,808
Here you come!

399
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:08,600
Oh…

400
00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:13,308
Aw, don't worry, sweetie,
don't worry. Eh…

401
00:19:13,391 --> 00:19:17,016
Nobody in New York notices a bus
until it's about to hit them.

402
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:18,266
That's right.

403
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:20,516
Meanwhile,

404
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,183
Miranda spent another
wonderful evening with Ted

405
00:19:23,266 --> 00:19:25,391
and began to re-evaluate her options.

406
00:19:25,475 --> 00:19:29,558
That was one of the most amazing meals
I have ever had.

407
00:19:29,641 --> 00:19:30,641
Thank you.

408
00:19:30,683 --> 00:19:31,933
My pleasure.

409
00:19:33,391 --> 00:19:36,100
You know, I missed you today.

410
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,350
You did?

411
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,475
I guess I've just been
waiting all this time

412
00:19:41,558 --> 00:19:42,933
for a good kick in the head.

413
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,766
And here I thought
that all you really wanted

414
00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:47,433
was a good spanking.

415
00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:49,558
Excuse me?

416
00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:51,683
You heard me.

417
00:19:56,391 --> 00:19:57,641
Oh.

418
00:20:02,725 --> 00:20:04,850
Ted didn't take Miranda
home that night.

419
00:20:05,558 --> 00:20:08,100
He never took her calls
or returned her messages.

420
00:20:08,891 --> 00:20:11,225
And she never saw him at the gym again.

421
00:20:14,183 --> 00:20:15,516
Very late that night,

422
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,391
fueled by a massive
quantity of champagne,

423
00:20:18,766 --> 00:20:21,516
I decided to say goodbye to Mr. Big.

424
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:30,766
I just came here to tell you that,
if you're embarrassed or ashamed

425
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,975
to be involved with me in any way,

426
00:20:33,058 --> 00:20:35,225
that we can no longer see each other.

427
00:20:35,558 --> 00:20:37,475
The truth is, I blamed myself.

428
00:20:37,850 --> 00:20:40,308
I wore the naked dress
on our first date,

429
00:20:40,391 --> 00:20:42,600
I slept with him too fast,

430
00:20:42,683 --> 00:20:45,933
and now I'm on a Fifth Avenue bus
with a penis on my head.

431
00:20:46,766 --> 00:20:49,266
What are you talking about?

432
00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:51,308
You won't introduce me to your friends.

433
00:20:51,725 --> 00:20:53,558
You bring me back to that restaurant

434
00:20:53,641 --> 00:20:56,433
where men take women
they don't want to be seen with.

435
00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:58,516
You won't come out and meet my friends.

436
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,266
You have me in a niche.

437
00:21:00,350 --> 00:21:03,433
Certain events, certain restaurants,
certain people.

438
00:21:03,516 --> 00:21:07,641
Like I'm only a particular fragment
of the kind of person

439
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,141
you think that you should be dating.

440
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:14,308
But I've only gotten to know
a particular fragment.

441
00:21:14,391 --> 00:21:16,600
Although, I'm beginning to know more.

442
00:21:17,266 --> 00:21:18,391
No, this is not me.

443
00:21:18,475 --> 00:21:21,475
This is me reacting
to your perception of me.

444
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:24,891
Oh, okay.

445
00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:28,641
Well…

446
00:21:29,516 --> 00:21:33,225
I think Fung Wa's
is the best Chinese food in the city,

447
00:21:33,308 --> 00:21:35,141
so that's why we went there.

448
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,100
And, uh…

449
00:21:37,183 --> 00:21:38,183
Oh… the…

450
00:21:39,391 --> 00:21:40,975
The guy we met in the street,

451
00:21:41,058 --> 00:21:44,433
I couldn't remember his name,
which possibly means I have Alzheimer's.

452
00:21:44,516 --> 00:21:46,350
So that's what that was about.

453
00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:51,558
And this afternoon I had courtside
tickets to the Knicks,

454
00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:53,350
and…

455
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,891
that's all folks!

456
00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:58,558
I should have been
jumping for joy,

457
00:21:59,683 --> 00:22:01,975
but I only felt a hard knot of fear.

458
00:22:04,516 --> 00:22:05,808
So you and me…

459
00:22:07,808 --> 00:22:09,225
Then maybe this is for real?

460
00:22:14,350 --> 00:22:15,516
Could be…