1 00:00:47,028 --> 00:00:48,486 Let's be honest. 2 00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:50,986 Sometimes there is nothing harder in life 3 00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:53,528 than being happy for somebody else. 4 00:00:53,611 --> 00:00:58,320 Like lottery winners or extremely successful people who are 27. 5 00:00:59,778 --> 00:01:01,986 And then, there's that hell on Earth 6 00:01:02,070 --> 00:01:04,528 that only your closest friends can inflict on you… 7 00:01:06,945 --> 00:01:08,153 …the baby shower. 8 00:01:08,945 --> 00:01:12,445 You could not drag me to that thing if you put a grappling hook in my mouth. 9 00:01:12,528 --> 00:01:14,028 Frankly, I think it's sad 10 00:01:14,111 --> 00:01:16,861 the way she's using a child to validate her existence. 11 00:01:16,945 --> 00:01:20,778 Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us? 12 00:01:20,861 --> 00:01:22,486 I'm happy for her. I am! 13 00:01:22,903 --> 00:01:26,903 If I see another crepe paper stork, I'm gonna rip its cardboard beak off. 14 00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:29,611 Can I ask you, would any baby shower bother you, 15 00:01:29,695 --> 00:01:31,903 or is this one worse because it's Laney's? 16 00:01:39,861 --> 00:01:42,361 Laney Berlin. You can't really describe her. 17 00:01:42,445 --> 00:01:43,986 You just had to know her. 18 00:01:46,111 --> 00:01:48,736 Chances are eight years ago you probably did. 19 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:54,153 So help me, she fucks on my couch, she buys it. 20 00:01:55,111 --> 00:01:56,653 Isn't that how you got the couch from me? 21 00:01:56,736 --> 00:01:58,486 Hey, Laney, show us your tits! 22 00:01:59,195 --> 00:02:02,195 Give it a rest! You guys have seen enough of my tits. 23 00:02:04,111 --> 00:02:05,695 Tits! Tits! Tits! 24 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,028 Laney did A&R for a record label, 25 00:02:10,111 --> 00:02:13,320 or, as she used to call it, sex with an expense account. 26 00:02:13,403 --> 00:02:17,486 Every time she went on a scouting trip, she came back with some hot new group 27 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,653 and a gynecological condition no one had ever heard of. 28 00:02:20,986 --> 00:02:24,861 Those things make so many public appearances, they need a booking agent. 29 00:02:29,153 --> 00:02:32,403 Look at her, the poster girl for low self-esteem. 30 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,695 You know, I have low self-esteem, but I express it the healthy way, 31 00:02:35,778 --> 00:02:37,653 by eating a box of Double Stuf Oreos. 32 00:02:37,736 --> 00:02:39,070 She's so sad. 33 00:02:41,611 --> 00:02:42,945 Take it off! 34 00:02:44,986 --> 00:02:48,236 Samantha and Laney had a long-standing rivalry. 35 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,361 Both wild, both sexy, 36 00:02:50,736 --> 00:02:52,570 both incredibly insecure. 37 00:02:53,945 --> 00:02:57,486 Two years ago, Laney did the most shocking thing of all. 38 00:02:57,820 --> 00:03:00,695 She met a Wall Street investment banker, married him 39 00:03:00,778 --> 00:03:02,611 and moved to Connecticut. 40 00:03:02,695 --> 00:03:04,361 That wasn't supposed to happen. 41 00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:07,195 She was supposed to have sex with Sid Vicious and move to heroin. 42 00:03:10,153 --> 00:03:11,945 Come on, you guys. It'll be fun. 43 00:03:12,028 --> 00:03:13,903 We've never even been to visit her in Connecticut. 44 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,528 Exactly. There's a reason for that. 45 00:03:15,611 --> 00:03:17,570 - Lyme disease? - That's another good one. 46 00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:20,403 - But it's a baby shower. - No, it's a cult. 47 00:03:20,486 --> 00:03:23,403 - A cult? What are you talking about? - Listen to me. 48 00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:25,903 They all think the same, dress the same 49 00:03:25,986 --> 00:03:29,111 and sacrifice themselves to the same cause… babies. 50 00:03:29,195 --> 00:03:30,403 She's insane. 51 00:03:30,486 --> 00:03:33,403 Hey! I've lost two sisters to the motherhood. 52 00:03:33,486 --> 00:03:34,903 I know what I'm talking about. 53 00:03:34,986 --> 00:03:37,445 I think we should go. It's the right thing to do. 54 00:03:37,528 --> 00:03:38,820 Give me one good reason. 55 00:03:39,403 --> 00:03:42,695 Okay. You're driving down the road, you see a sign, 56 00:03:42,778 --> 00:03:45,320 it says "two-headed snake," you pull over. 57 00:03:45,403 --> 00:03:48,028 Wild Laney is having a baby shower. You pull over. 58 00:03:48,778 --> 00:03:50,986 She's got a point. It's the right thing to do. 59 00:03:51,986 --> 00:03:54,445 Just imagine how fat she must be. 60 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:58,986 As I penciled in the date, I noticed something missing. 61 00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:02,903 In between the Versace show and dinner at Moomba, 62 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,611 there it wasn't… 63 00:04:05,403 --> 00:04:07,236 my period, four days late. 64 00:04:08,695 --> 00:04:11,611 That Saturday, also known as "Seven Days Late", 65 00:04:11,695 --> 00:04:14,778 four city girls set off to visit the country mice. 66 00:04:14,861 --> 00:04:16,986 Are we there yet? 67 00:04:19,236 --> 00:04:22,111 I've already had two of these, so we're gonna be stopping a lot. 68 00:04:22,486 --> 00:04:26,195 Hey, nice outfit. Is there gonna be some belly dancing at the shower? 69 00:04:26,278 --> 00:04:27,986 Yeah, right after the gifts. 70 00:04:28,070 --> 00:04:31,820 Oh, shit! I totally spaced. I forgot to buy her a present. 71 00:04:33,111 --> 00:04:35,778 How tacky is it to give the mother-to-be a fistful of cash? 72 00:04:35,861 --> 00:04:39,070 Don't worry about it. You can go in on mine. 73 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,570 You bought a pregnant woman a bottle of Scotch? 74 00:04:41,653 --> 00:04:43,570 The invitation said BYOB. 75 00:04:43,945 --> 00:04:45,945 That meant "bring your own baby." 76 00:04:46,528 --> 00:04:48,403 - What did you get her? - Condoms. 77 00:04:49,153 --> 00:04:52,986 - Seriously, what did you get her? - Seriously. They're pastel. 78 00:04:53,695 --> 00:04:55,528 Hey, guys! Wait, wait! 79 00:04:55,611 --> 00:04:58,028 Hey, guys, wait for me! 80 00:04:58,111 --> 00:05:01,403 Oh, my God! Look at the size of that thing. 81 00:05:01,486 --> 00:05:04,361 - We could drive that to Connecticut. - I'm putting my name on that card. 82 00:05:04,861 --> 00:05:07,570 All right. Go, go, go, go. 83 00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:14,611 Does anybody know how to drive? 84 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:23,236 As I turned the midsize coupe onto Hollyhock Lane, 85 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,236 I was struck by how a place so filled with nature 86 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,861 could look so unnatural. 87 00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:41,236 Oh, Toto, I don't think we're in Manhattan anymore. 88 00:05:42,570 --> 00:05:44,986 Oh, her house is beautiful! 89 00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:48,028 Oh, and look at her dog! 90 00:05:48,111 --> 00:05:50,695 Hey, boy! Come here, boy! 91 00:05:51,445 --> 00:05:52,445 Come on, boy! 92 00:05:57,695 --> 00:05:59,111 Why didn't he come? 93 00:05:59,195 --> 00:06:00,945 Invisible electric fencing. 94 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,403 It's the latest thing. My sister has it. 95 00:06:03,736 --> 00:06:05,028 Okay! 96 00:06:05,528 --> 00:06:06,820 Ready, girls? 97 00:06:07,778 --> 00:06:08,945 Let's go. 98 00:06:14,445 --> 00:06:16,653 Ooh, Charlotte sweetie, don't forget our gift. 99 00:06:30,403 --> 00:06:32,820 - Look at you! You're huge! - I know. 100 00:06:32,903 --> 00:06:35,736 Isn't it great? I can eat anything I want. Jealous? 101 00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:38,403 Come on in. Come in. 102 00:06:39,653 --> 00:06:42,486 Brigid, Roxanne, these are my friends from the city. 103 00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,820 - Hi. - We didn't think you'd make it. 104 00:06:44,903 --> 00:06:47,361 We got lost. We took the wrong bridge. 105 00:06:47,445 --> 00:06:50,486 Remember that feeling, like if you left Manhattan even for a second, 106 00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:51,986 you'd fall off the edge of the earth? 107 00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:54,028 Oh, God, don't remind me. 108 00:06:54,111 --> 00:06:55,111 Hi! 109 00:06:55,195 --> 00:06:59,486 Oh, my God! It's the Bellini baby basket! 110 00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,320 Oh, look, everybody! 111 00:07:01,403 --> 00:07:04,361 - It's the Bellini baby basket! - Aw! 112 00:07:04,445 --> 00:07:07,986 Speaking of Bellinis, I'm gonna have a big drink. 113 00:07:08,653 --> 00:07:10,070 Jealous? 114 00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:15,403 Is she still barhopping and bed-hopping? 115 00:07:15,486 --> 00:07:17,861 It's so sad, isn't it? When that's all you have. 116 00:07:18,986 --> 00:07:21,528 - Okay, this is Rebecca. - Hi. 117 00:07:21,903 --> 00:07:23,695 - Susan… - Hello. 118 00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:25,195 - Mindy. - Hey. 119 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,820 Don't get up, sweetheart. She's doing this in-vitro thing. 120 00:07:27,903 --> 00:07:30,028 She's not supposed to move at all. 121 00:07:31,111 --> 00:07:32,986 And that's Betsy and her boy Harry. 122 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:35,195 They're inseparable. They do everything together. 123 00:07:35,278 --> 00:07:37,486 We call them our old married couple. 124 00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:38,736 Except it's not really that funny 125 00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:40,861 now that Betsy and her husband are getting divorced. 126 00:07:40,945 --> 00:07:42,653 Laney, we need you! 127 00:07:44,403 --> 00:07:48,861 So all I have to do to meet the ideal man is give birth to him. 128 00:07:49,528 --> 00:07:52,528 I love my son. Andy is 11 months old. 129 00:07:52,611 --> 00:07:55,653 He is a god, and I tell him so every day. 130 00:07:58,653 --> 00:08:01,445 Thirty years from now, what do you think the chances are 131 00:08:01,528 --> 00:08:04,153 that some woman's gonna be able to make Andy happy? 132 00:08:04,486 --> 00:08:06,111 I'm gonna go with zero. 133 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,445 Aw! 134 00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:12,486 Oh, it's adorable! 135 00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:14,403 Look at that Charlotte. 136 00:08:14,486 --> 00:08:17,195 I wish they made this in my size. 137 00:08:17,653 --> 00:08:19,695 I told you, it's a cult. We can't separate. 138 00:08:19,778 --> 00:08:22,236 Once they isolate you from the herd, it's all over. 139 00:08:23,153 --> 00:08:25,736 As I watched Laney tear open a terrycloth baby bib 140 00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:27,736 with the same enthusiasm she once reserved 141 00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:29,861 for tearing off rock stars' pants, 142 00:08:29,945 --> 00:08:31,653 I couldn't help but wonder, 143 00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:33,903 "Was I next?" 144 00:08:37,111 --> 00:08:38,570 You know what? I have to pee. 145 00:08:39,153 --> 00:08:42,528 If you're not back in five minutes, I'm coming after you. 146 00:08:45,986 --> 00:08:48,570 The truth is, I needed to escape. 147 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,111 The party had turned into a preview… 148 00:08:51,653 --> 00:08:54,528 A preview of a life I didn't know if I was ready for. 149 00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:04,903 Even seven months pregnant, Laney couldn't keep her clothes on. 150 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,320 Clearly, a part of the old Laney had survived. 151 00:09:08,736 --> 00:09:13,320 But I wondered, what was still buried deep inside the mommies downstairs? 152 00:09:13,736 --> 00:09:16,528 Before I married my husband, I slept around with everybody. 153 00:09:17,486 --> 00:09:19,528 Now I have an Internet lover. 154 00:09:20,445 --> 00:09:21,820 No one knows. 155 00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:28,070 When I was senior vice-president, 212 people reported to me on a daily basis. 156 00:09:28,153 --> 00:09:30,111 Now I just yell at the gardener 157 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,695 who doesn't understand a single word. 158 00:09:34,695 --> 00:09:37,653 I'm exactly the same. I love my life. 159 00:09:37,736 --> 00:09:41,403 But every now and then, I can't help but think about… 160 00:09:42,445 --> 00:09:43,570 Lisa. 161 00:09:43,986 --> 00:09:47,153 Sometimes I climb up into the kids' tree house 162 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,028 with my Walkman, 163 00:09:49,445 --> 00:09:50,778 light up a joint, 164 00:09:51,570 --> 00:09:53,361 and listen to Peter Frampton. 165 00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:12,195 There's a woman in there breast-feeding a child who can chew steak. 166 00:10:12,736 --> 00:10:14,195 You know how I feel about that? 167 00:10:14,778 --> 00:10:17,861 If you can ask for it, you're probably too old to have it. 168 00:10:18,611 --> 00:10:20,195 Jeremy, no! 169 00:10:21,278 --> 00:10:22,945 I just realized, 170 00:10:23,028 --> 00:10:25,945 maybe it's maturity or the wisdom that comes with age, 171 00:10:26,028 --> 00:10:30,403 but the witch in Hansel and Gretel, she's very misunderstood. 172 00:10:30,861 --> 00:10:33,736 I mean, the woman builds her dream house 173 00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:37,070 and these brats come along and start eating it. 174 00:10:40,528 --> 00:10:42,945 I just have to tell you your home is beautiful. 175 00:10:43,028 --> 00:10:46,195 Thank you. I know it's a big change. 176 00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:49,653 But at some point, you have to get serious and settle down. 177 00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:52,528 I mean, life is not a Jacqueline Susann novel… 178 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,903 four friends looking for life and love in the big city. 179 00:10:58,236 --> 00:11:01,778 Stop it! You are not going to clean up at your own shower. 180 00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:05,195 Yeah, relax, 'cause once little Todd or Shayla comes around, 181 00:11:05,278 --> 00:11:06,695 you'll never stop cleaning up. 182 00:11:06,778 --> 00:11:08,528 Shayla? Did you say Shayla? 183 00:11:08,611 --> 00:11:11,903 - It's so unique, isn't it? - It's so my name! 184 00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:15,778 - I thought your name was Charlotte. - No, it's not my name. 185 00:11:15,861 --> 00:11:18,236 It's my name, my secret baby name 186 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,736 that I made up when I was 11 years old for my daughter when I had her. 187 00:11:22,195 --> 00:11:24,736 I told you. Don't tell me you don't remember. 188 00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:26,986 No, I'm sorry, I really don't. 189 00:11:27,070 --> 00:11:30,861 A complete lie. She remembered. We all remembered. 190 00:11:31,445 --> 00:11:34,070 Charlotte had made us all swear never to use it. 191 00:11:34,153 --> 00:11:36,111 Anyway, I think my husband heard it somewhere else. 192 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,736 Really? Where? Because, I didn't tell him. 193 00:11:39,070 --> 00:11:41,695 I can't believe you're freaking out over a name. 194 00:11:41,778 --> 00:11:44,945 - I mean, you're not even pregnant. - That's not the point! 195 00:11:45,278 --> 00:11:47,945 - What's going on? - She stole my baby name. 196 00:11:48,778 --> 00:11:49,778 You bitch! 197 00:11:51,195 --> 00:11:52,320 Let's go. 198 00:11:59,028 --> 00:12:02,111 Beers and bar nuts at Flanagan's off Route Five 199 00:12:02,195 --> 00:12:05,611 were the perfect antidote to Laney's House of Humiliation. 200 00:12:05,695 --> 00:12:09,903 If I hadn't waited this long to have a baby, that name would be mine. 201 00:12:09,986 --> 00:12:12,070 Oh, Charlotte, come on. You're still young. 202 00:12:12,153 --> 00:12:13,903 You have plenty of time to have children. 203 00:12:13,986 --> 00:12:15,611 No. No, I don't. 204 00:12:15,695 --> 00:12:18,486 I don't want to be one of those 40-year-old moms. 205 00:12:19,486 --> 00:12:22,903 - No offense. - I don't want to be one of them either. 206 00:12:22,986 --> 00:12:25,486 There are no frozen eggs in my freezer. 207 00:12:26,403 --> 00:12:27,945 Was the bathroom clean? 208 00:12:28,361 --> 00:12:29,653 What do you think? 209 00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:35,070 This is why I hate baby showers. You always leave feeling depressed. 210 00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:37,195 Paddy, another round. 211 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:39,778 Well, I, for one, love my life. 212 00:12:39,861 --> 00:12:43,153 And I will not be made to feel inadequate by all this baby talk. 213 00:12:44,153 --> 00:12:46,736 I spoke to a woman with a Master's in Finance. 214 00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:49,445 All she wanted to talk about was her Diaper Genie. 215 00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:51,778 Oh, come on, you guys. It doesn't have to be like that. 216 00:12:51,861 --> 00:12:53,820 You don't have to lose yourself to have a kid. 217 00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:57,028 I know plenty of cool, hip mothers 218 00:12:57,111 --> 00:13:01,195 who live in the city and who still have great careers and stuff. 219 00:13:01,278 --> 00:13:02,445 Who? 220 00:13:04,486 --> 00:13:06,320 I'm late. I missed my period. 221 00:13:06,403 --> 00:13:08,570 Paddy, honey, where are those beers? 222 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,361 How late? 223 00:13:10,445 --> 00:13:13,986 I don't know, just a few… Seven days. 224 00:13:14,070 --> 00:13:16,528 Oh, honey, gray area. 225 00:13:16,903 --> 00:13:19,028 True, you're in front of the firing squad, 226 00:13:19,111 --> 00:13:21,195 but you haven't been shot. 227 00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:25,111 - I was once ten days late. - Really? Were you having sex? 228 00:13:26,528 --> 00:13:27,528 No. 229 00:13:29,403 --> 00:13:32,278 What are you going to do? You gonna tell Mr. Big? 230 00:13:32,361 --> 00:13:35,320 No, I am not going to tell him until I know what l… 231 00:13:35,903 --> 00:13:38,153 till I know how l… what… 232 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:42,986 No, I am not going to tell him 233 00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:45,611 until I know how to finish this sentence. 234 00:13:48,903 --> 00:13:50,528 - What did I miss? - Nothing. 235 00:13:53,403 --> 00:13:56,028 That night, Charlotte got out her wish box 236 00:13:56,111 --> 00:13:59,403 where she kept reminders of all the things she hoped for in life… 237 00:14:00,486 --> 00:14:02,195 a gift for Shayla, 238 00:14:05,028 --> 00:14:06,903 a town house in the city, 239 00:14:06,986 --> 00:14:09,111 a beach house in East Hampton, 240 00:14:12,945 --> 00:14:14,111 her dream man, 241 00:14:18,403 --> 00:14:19,778 her backup dream man. 242 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:26,278 It's very strange when the life you never had flashes before your eyes. 243 00:14:28,153 --> 00:14:30,236 Carrie Held Hostage: Day Eight. 244 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,903 Miranda and I went shopping. 245 00:14:31,986 --> 00:14:35,903 I'm on total ovary overload. Which kind do I get? 246 00:14:35,986 --> 00:14:38,778 Here. This one's on sale, half off. 247 00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:42,945 Sweetie, I just spent $395 on a pair of open-toed Gucci's last week. 248 00:14:43,028 --> 00:14:45,278 - This is not the place to be frugal. - All right. 249 00:14:45,653 --> 00:14:47,236 Well, what about this one? 250 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,945 Oh, First Response! I remember First Response. 251 00:14:49,028 --> 00:14:52,028 I had a very reassuring moment once with First Response. 252 00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:55,361 Here's hoping. 253 00:14:58,653 --> 00:14:59,653 What if I am? 254 00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:02,361 If you am, you am. 255 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,028 I don't think I'd be very good at this. 256 00:15:05,653 --> 00:15:07,861 I mean, am I maternal? 257 00:15:08,903 --> 00:15:10,320 Um… 258 00:15:10,403 --> 00:15:11,445 You know, when I was a girl, 259 00:15:11,528 --> 00:15:14,070 I left my favorite baby doll out in the rain for four days. 260 00:15:14,153 --> 00:15:16,278 Her face peeled off. That can't be good. 261 00:15:16,361 --> 00:15:17,305 Yeah, I mean, but if you… 262 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,195 I shaved my Barbie's head when I was mad at her. 263 00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,861 When I was little, I took a rubber band 264 00:15:21,945 --> 00:15:23,736 and put it around my dog, Pepper's snout. 265 00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:26,778 - What? - God. 266 00:15:30,903 --> 00:15:33,320 Can you picture it, us with… 267 00:15:33,403 --> 00:15:34,486 Kids? 268 00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:38,403 - Babies. - I'll probably end up with five. 269 00:15:39,361 --> 00:15:41,778 Five hours and two packs of gum later, 270 00:15:42,111 --> 00:15:43,861 I decided I couldn't take the test 271 00:15:43,945 --> 00:15:47,361 till I knew exactly how I felt about the results, either way. 272 00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,653 - Hello? Oh, hi! - It's Laney. 273 00:15:56,736 --> 00:15:57,861 I just wanted to tell you 274 00:15:57,945 --> 00:15:59,778 it was so great to see you guys the other day. 275 00:16:00,153 --> 00:16:04,361 I know I was a big bitch, but you gotta know my hormones are going wild. 276 00:16:04,736 --> 00:16:08,486 The truth is, Laney's hormones have been going wild since she was ten. 277 00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:12,195 Seeing you made me remember how much fun we used to have. 278 00:16:12,278 --> 00:16:15,195 Yeah, we did. It's amazing how much time has gone by. 279 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,528 Tell me about it. 280 00:16:17,361 --> 00:16:19,528 But I miss us. I really do. 281 00:16:20,278 --> 00:16:22,403 - We should get together more often. - Mm-hmm. 282 00:16:24,403 --> 00:16:27,320 But I mean, we should get together, not just say we're going to, 283 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,445 but really do it. 284 00:16:29,528 --> 00:16:31,903 Absolutely. Listen, I've gotta go. I'm running late. 285 00:16:31,986 --> 00:16:33,111 Where are you off to? 286 00:16:33,195 --> 00:16:35,653 Actually, Samantha's having one of her parties. 287 00:16:35,736 --> 00:16:37,153 - She is? - Yeah. 288 00:16:37,236 --> 00:16:41,236 Oh, man! See, that's the kind of thing. I love Samantha's parties. 289 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,320 - Why didn't you tell me? - Next time. I promise, all right? 290 00:16:44,778 --> 00:16:46,195 Okay, bye. 291 00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:50,820 Faced with her own inadequacies, 292 00:16:50,903 --> 00:16:53,486 Samantha did something only Samantha could do. 293 00:16:53,570 --> 00:16:55,820 She threw an l-don't-have-a-baby shower 294 00:16:55,903 --> 00:16:57,903 to let everyone know she was fabulous. 295 00:16:57,986 --> 00:16:59,820 Great to see you! 296 00:17:00,195 --> 00:17:02,028 Oh! I don't have a baby! 297 00:17:02,111 --> 00:17:03,736 Everybody drink! 298 00:17:05,153 --> 00:17:07,611 - Are you having fun? - Yes I am, 299 00:17:07,695 --> 00:17:09,695 but not quite as much fun as Miranda. 300 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,445 Still convinced that marriage plus baby equals death, 301 00:17:12,528 --> 00:17:14,278 Miranda chose life… 302 00:17:14,361 --> 00:17:17,070 also known as Ed, Samantha's accountant. 303 00:17:17,153 --> 00:17:19,653 If she fucks on that couch, she buys it. 304 00:17:26,611 --> 00:17:29,778 Hey, you guys, the entertainment has arrived! 305 00:17:32,236 --> 00:17:36,111 - What are you doing here? - What I do best… partying! 306 00:17:36,195 --> 00:17:38,861 - Maybe we better sit down. - Fuck no! Where's the bar? 307 00:17:38,945 --> 00:17:40,111 Somebody get me a drink! 308 00:17:40,195 --> 00:17:42,153 I don't know, Laney. You think that's a good idea? 309 00:17:42,236 --> 00:17:45,820 Fuck yeah. I'm due any day. What's one little drink gonna matter? 310 00:17:45,903 --> 00:17:47,611 Maybe it'll help me go into labor. 311 00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:52,653 She gives birth on that couch, she buys it. 312 00:17:53,611 --> 00:17:55,653 What are you doing here? What is she doing here? 313 00:17:55,736 --> 00:17:57,611 - I missed you guys. - Us? 314 00:17:57,695 --> 00:18:00,153 The pathetic, live-for-the-moment New York single girls 315 00:18:00,236 --> 00:18:02,361 who think that life is a Jacqueline Susann novel? 316 00:18:02,445 --> 00:18:06,361 Look, I'm sure you get asked this all the time, but what is your problem? 317 00:18:06,445 --> 00:18:10,903 My problem? Just that I had a dream and you killed it, in a nutshell. 318 00:18:10,986 --> 00:18:12,695 Really? Well, then you're lucky, 319 00:18:12,778 --> 00:18:14,778 because at least you know what happened to your dream. 320 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,028 I have absolutely no idea what happened to mine. 321 00:18:17,486 --> 00:18:18,778 Hi, Laney! 322 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,320 I spent the next hour keeping Charlotte away from Laney, 323 00:18:22,403 --> 00:18:23,903 and Laney away from the vodka. 324 00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:26,528 Well, well, well. Look who came up for air. 325 00:18:26,611 --> 00:18:29,778 He's a good kisser and he's gonna do my taxes for free. 326 00:18:29,861 --> 00:18:31,945 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Hey, Carrie. 327 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,195 Hey, Jonathan. 328 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:36,153 Listen, I've been talking to your friend Charlotte. She's great. 329 00:18:36,236 --> 00:18:39,403 - Is she seeing anybody? - Wide open. 330 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,653 Just don't mention the name Shayla. 331 00:18:41,736 --> 00:18:43,361 - I'm sorry? - Nothing. 332 00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:46,070 It's a private joke. Go forth and date. 333 00:18:47,111 --> 00:18:48,736 His name was Jonathan Bix. 334 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,820 He was a trader at Bear Stearns 335 00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:53,528 and had just closed escrow on a house in the Hamptons. 336 00:18:54,986 --> 00:18:58,320 Charlotte suddenly realized all was not lost. 337 00:18:58,403 --> 00:18:59,736 As she sipped her beer, 338 00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:03,111 she mentally Scotch-taped her dream house back together again. 339 00:19:05,528 --> 00:19:07,195 This party sucks. 340 00:19:08,153 --> 00:19:10,945 Laney, maybe we should think about getting you home, all right? 341 00:19:11,486 --> 00:19:13,403 No, I don't wanna go back there. 342 00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:18,445 Hey, you fuckers. Who wants to see my tits? 343 00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:22,055 I'll take a look. 344 00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:24,403 Laney, come on. Come back. Don't do this. 345 00:19:24,486 --> 00:19:26,653 Relax! It'll be fun! 346 00:19:26,736 --> 00:19:29,320 All right, look. Now we're gonna have a party. 347 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,903 Pregnant lady showing her tits! 348 00:19:35,861 --> 00:19:37,070 Oh, my God. 349 00:19:37,153 --> 00:19:39,486 This is at once so sad 350 00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:43,278 and the most fabulous validation I've ever gotten in my life. 351 00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:55,070 This is weird. 352 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,111 I… I don't… 353 00:19:59,195 --> 00:20:00,861 I don't think I can do this. 354 00:20:02,445 --> 00:20:03,486 No biggie. 355 00:20:07,028 --> 00:20:09,736 Despite her best efforts to run free, 356 00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,945 it appeared that Laney Berlin's invisible electric fence 357 00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,695 stretched all the way to Manhattan. 358 00:20:17,486 --> 00:20:20,361 No, no, I know I can do it. Just give me one more chance. 359 00:20:20,445 --> 00:20:23,820 Laney, it's not who you are anymore. It's all right. 360 00:20:26,195 --> 00:20:29,611 I didn't know that was gonna happen. Nobody told me that was gonna happen. 361 00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,361 I mean, somebody should warn you. 362 00:20:33,986 --> 00:20:35,320 It's all right. 363 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,861 One day you're gonna wake up, and you're not gonna recognize yourself. 364 00:20:49,486 --> 00:20:51,153 Can you take her to Connecticut? 365 00:21:01,403 --> 00:21:05,778 I spent the next entire day sitting on a park bench watching children play. 366 00:21:08,986 --> 00:21:11,903 If I had to, could I do this? 367 00:21:14,111 --> 00:21:15,736 Would I be any good? 368 00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:20,070 Would I somehow manage to stay me? 369 00:21:29,111 --> 00:21:31,903 Hello. Oh, my! 370 00:21:33,861 --> 00:21:35,361 Oh, sorry. 371 00:21:35,736 --> 00:21:38,278 That's okay. She's adorable. 372 00:21:38,361 --> 00:21:40,195 Yeah, most of the time. 373 00:21:40,278 --> 00:21:42,861 You wanna go home? Yeah, yeah. 374 00:21:42,945 --> 00:21:44,611 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 375 00:21:45,945 --> 00:21:47,195 Bye! 376 00:21:50,986 --> 00:21:52,195 On the way home… 377 00:21:52,903 --> 00:21:54,445 I got my period.