1 00:00:46,873 --> 00:00:49,665 New York City is all about sex. 2 00:00:49,748 --> 00:00:52,706 People getting it. People trying to get it. 3 00:00:53,456 --> 00:00:54,956 And people who can't get it. 4 00:00:55,331 --> 00:00:58,790 No wonder the city never sleeps. It's too busy trying to get laid. 5 00:00:58,873 --> 00:01:03,123 But if you ever actually do manage to get someone in bed, 6 00:01:03,206 --> 00:01:04,540 the real fun begins. 7 00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:05,623 Mmm. 8 00:01:06,706 --> 00:01:09,498 - That's the kind with nuts in it. - Mm-hmm 9 00:01:09,581 --> 00:01:11,706 - We love our nuts. - Mm-hmm. 10 00:01:18,665 --> 00:01:20,748 After sleeping together for many weeks, 11 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:24,748 Mr. Big and I had gotten comfortable enough to really sleep together. 12 00:01:30,165 --> 00:01:31,248 It was nice. 13 00:01:31,623 --> 00:01:34,248 It was the way I'd always dreamed it could be. 14 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,915 - Good morning. - Morning. 15 00:01:47,248 --> 00:01:48,831 Was that you? 16 00:01:49,456 --> 00:01:52,456 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 17 00:01:52,540 --> 00:01:55,165 I think it might be worse under there. 18 00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:58,165 Shut up. Shut up! 19 00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:02,748 I hadn't dressed so quickly 20 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,456 since the time I was caught in the boy's dorm sophomore year. 21 00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:06,873 Wait. Don't you want some coffee? 22 00:02:06,956 --> 00:02:09,290 Oh, gosh. I'm late for a thing. 23 00:02:10,915 --> 00:02:13,498 Oh, my God. I was mortified. 24 00:02:14,915 --> 00:02:16,665 I didn't call him the rest of the day. 25 00:02:16,748 --> 00:02:18,290 I tried to lose myself in work, 26 00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:20,623 but every time I stopped for a second to think… 27 00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:22,691 Oh, God. 28 00:02:22,706 --> 00:02:25,331 I'd relive my hell all over again. 29 00:02:26,748 --> 00:02:30,165 The next day, I realized how childish I was behaving. 30 00:02:30,248 --> 00:02:33,831 I decided to stop avoiding the situation and take the grown-up approach, 31 00:02:33,915 --> 00:02:35,331 complete and utter denial. 32 00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:38,081 Oh, so, I saw the Met is opening a new Goya exhibit. 33 00:02:38,165 --> 00:02:39,581 Do you want to go this Saturday? 34 00:02:40,415 --> 00:02:41,415 Sure. 35 00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:45,248 Could you get me some more duck sauce, please? 36 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:46,790 I most certainly can. 37 00:02:48,873 --> 00:02:52,748 Oh, and then we have to stop and see the Renoirs. I love the Renoirs. 38 00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:54,206 Okay. 39 00:03:00,331 --> 00:03:02,123 There's a moment in every relationship 40 00:03:02,206 --> 00:03:04,165 where romance gives way to reality. 41 00:03:21,706 --> 00:03:23,873 You know… You know what? 42 00:03:23,956 --> 00:03:25,206 I'm exhausted. 43 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:29,873 You mind if we just call it a night? Okay? 44 00:03:30,456 --> 00:03:31,706 Sure. 45 00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:34,415 Good night. 46 00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:36,290 'Night. 47 00:03:38,915 --> 00:03:42,415 That was the first night we slept together and didn't make love. 48 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:46,456 By the middle of the next week, it was three times in a row, 49 00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:47,790 and I was beginning to worry. 50 00:03:47,873 --> 00:03:49,873 Three times? Try three months. 51 00:03:49,956 --> 00:03:51,456 - No. - Yes. 52 00:03:52,415 --> 00:03:55,748 Now would be a good time to wipe that horrified look off your face. 53 00:03:55,831 --> 00:03:57,623 I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry. 54 00:03:57,706 --> 00:04:00,206 I just… Wow, I didn't know. Where have I been? 55 00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:01,998 You've been having sex. 56 00:04:02,081 --> 00:04:06,415 I've been at Blockbuster renting videos. It's tragic. 57 00:04:06,498 --> 00:04:08,998 I'm like two rentals away from a free pound of Gummy Bears. 58 00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:10,790 Oh, relax. You're just in a dry spell. 59 00:04:10,873 --> 00:04:12,748 I can't believe you said that. 60 00:04:12,831 --> 00:04:14,373 You're all freaked out about three times. 61 00:04:14,456 --> 00:04:16,831 - I'm talking three months. - Yeah, but that's different. 62 00:04:16,915 --> 00:04:18,415 Not doing it when you're with someone 63 00:04:18,498 --> 00:04:20,998 means much more than not doing it when you're not with someone. 64 00:04:21,081 --> 00:04:22,540 What are you worried about? 65 00:04:22,623 --> 00:04:25,331 I thought you said everything felt really comfortable and great. 66 00:04:25,415 --> 00:04:27,915 - Yeah, well, maybe too comfortable. - What do you mean? 67 00:04:30,498 --> 00:04:31,790 I farted. 68 00:04:32,456 --> 00:04:35,040 I farted in front of my boyfriend. 69 00:04:35,415 --> 00:04:38,331 - And? - And we're no longer having sex. 70 00:04:38,415 --> 00:04:41,040 And he thinks of me as one of the boys. 71 00:04:41,123 --> 00:04:43,415 And I'm gonna have to move to another city 72 00:04:43,498 --> 00:04:46,748 where the shame of this won't follow me. 73 00:04:46,831 --> 00:04:48,498 You farted. You're human. 74 00:04:48,581 --> 00:04:50,540 I don't want him to know that. 75 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,540 I mean, he's this perfect guy. 76 00:04:53,623 --> 00:04:56,498 You know, he walks around his perfect apartment with his perfect suit. 77 00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:59,415 He's just perfect, perfect, perfect, and I'm the girl who farts. 78 00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:02,290 - No wonder we're not having sex. - You're insane! 79 00:05:02,373 --> 00:05:04,873 It's been three times. It's perfectly normal. 80 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:07,206 Says who? I mean… 81 00:05:08,248 --> 00:05:09,956 say it's not the… 82 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,081 then what else is going on? 83 00:05:12,165 --> 00:05:14,665 I mean, is it normal to be in the same bed and not do it? 84 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:17,748 I guess it depends on what's normal for you. 85 00:05:17,831 --> 00:05:19,331 Oh, God. I hate that. 86 00:05:19,748 --> 00:05:21,373 Who am I to know what's normal? 87 00:05:22,206 --> 00:05:24,123 I haven't dated in a hundred years. I don't have a clue. 88 00:05:24,206 --> 00:05:27,331 Well, three months is not normal for me. 89 00:05:27,956 --> 00:05:30,831 One month was interesting. Two months was numbing. 90 00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:34,165 Three months, I am going out of my mind. 91 00:05:34,623 --> 00:05:37,665 There are 1.3 million single men in New York, 92 00:05:37,748 --> 00:05:39,790 1.8 million single women. 93 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,790 And of these more than three million people, 94 00:05:42,873 --> 00:05:45,248 about 12 think they're having enough sex. 95 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,831 How often is normal? 96 00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:51,456 I have to masturbate three times a day just to make it through. 97 00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:54,373 Some people take coffee breaks, I take jerk-off breaks. 98 00:05:54,790 --> 00:05:58,540 They say the average 33-year-old woman has sex 3.5 times a week. 99 00:05:58,623 --> 00:06:00,123 I'd like to know who that woman is. 100 00:06:00,206 --> 00:06:02,831 You know, my wife and I haven't had sex since the baby was born. 101 00:06:03,748 --> 00:06:05,665 The baby's applying to Yale next fall. 102 00:06:06,956 --> 00:06:09,706 Once… One time a day… 103 00:06:10,206 --> 00:06:12,831 but two time on very special day. 104 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:18,206 Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get. 105 00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:21,040 Even in the plow position, I could count on Samantha 106 00:06:21,123 --> 00:06:23,248 for amazing sexual clarity. 107 00:06:23,331 --> 00:06:25,915 Very good. Let's move on to downward facing dog. 108 00:06:25,998 --> 00:06:27,206 Woof. 109 00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:31,373 With him, I could do it every hour on the hour. 110 00:06:32,123 --> 00:06:35,206 Do you think it means something if Big and I are sleeping together, 111 00:06:35,831 --> 00:06:37,248 but we're not sleeping together? 112 00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:39,956 - The truth? - And when have I ever wanted that? 113 00:06:40,415 --> 00:06:41,456 Yeah, okay, tell me. 114 00:06:41,540 --> 00:06:43,248 I think there's trouble. I mean… 115 00:06:43,331 --> 00:06:46,081 sex is a barometer for what's going on in the relationship. 116 00:06:47,456 --> 00:06:49,373 Well, I wasn't going to tell you this, but… 117 00:06:52,165 --> 00:06:53,165 I farted. 118 00:06:53,873 --> 00:06:58,248 - Then move your mat away. - Not now. I did it in front of Big. 119 00:06:58,831 --> 00:07:01,081 - Huge mistake. - You think? 120 00:07:01,998 --> 00:07:04,248 It wasn't a choice. I'm human. It happened. 121 00:07:04,331 --> 00:07:08,081 No, honey, you're a woman. And men don't like women to be human. 122 00:07:08,165 --> 00:07:10,165 We aren't supposed to fart, douche, 123 00:07:10,248 --> 00:07:12,581 use tampons or have hair in places we shouldn't. 124 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:16,498 I mean, hell, a guy once broke up with me because I missed a bikini wax. 125 00:07:16,581 --> 00:07:17,581 I knew it. 126 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,081 This is a watershed relationship moment I'm never gonna be able to erase. 127 00:07:21,165 --> 00:07:22,206 Oh, sure you will. 128 00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:25,665 Just go over there and fuck his brains out and he'll forget all about it. 129 00:07:25,748 --> 00:07:28,581 Men aren't that complicated. They're kind of like plants. 130 00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,373 Concentrate. Quiet your insides. 131 00:07:30,456 --> 00:07:31,456 Now he tells me. 132 00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:34,081 Roll over on your backs. Take goddess pose. 133 00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:37,831 Let your breathing work with you. 134 00:07:38,873 --> 00:07:41,123 In… 135 00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:42,998 And out… 136 00:07:43,665 --> 00:07:44,665 In. 137 00:07:46,665 --> 00:07:47,748 Out. 138 00:07:50,415 --> 00:07:52,665 Would you like to go for a coffee sometime? 139 00:07:52,748 --> 00:07:55,290 Forty-five minutes and three animal positions later, 140 00:07:55,373 --> 00:07:57,790 Samantha and Siddhartha were sipping green tea 141 00:07:57,873 --> 00:07:59,873 at a nearby health food restaurant. 142 00:07:59,956 --> 00:08:01,456 Tofu or not tofu. 143 00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:04,706 I always feel so amazing after yoga. 144 00:08:05,331 --> 00:08:09,665 My body feels so open, so alive, so ready for anything. 145 00:08:10,206 --> 00:08:11,415 Samantha. 146 00:08:12,331 --> 00:08:13,498 Yes? 147 00:08:13,581 --> 00:08:14,581 I'm celibate. 148 00:08:15,498 --> 00:08:18,248 I practice brahmacharya, Tantric celibacy. 149 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,873 I gave up sex three years ago. 150 00:08:20,956 --> 00:08:22,456 My God. Why? 151 00:08:22,998 --> 00:08:27,373 Or more importantly, why? Didn't you like it? 152 00:08:27,456 --> 00:08:30,665 Oh, I loved it. I'd have sex morning, noon and nights. 153 00:08:30,748 --> 00:08:33,248 Sometimes three women a day, and I was always ready for more. 154 00:08:33,331 --> 00:08:35,706 - Now you're just being cruel. - No. 155 00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:37,623 It was all ego. 156 00:08:38,165 --> 00:08:41,123 And where I am now is so much better than sex. 157 00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:44,456 Oh, come on, honey. Nothing's better than sex. 158 00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:46,415 Think about really good foreplay. 159 00:08:47,331 --> 00:08:50,040 Your sexual energy's just starting to awaken. 160 00:08:50,706 --> 00:08:52,873 Now imagine a three-year foreplay 161 00:08:53,831 --> 00:08:57,831 where all that sexual energy is coursing through your body, 162 00:08:57,915 --> 00:08:59,373 but it never gets released. 163 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,248 It just recycles. 164 00:09:02,831 --> 00:09:05,540 Builds… Rises… 165 00:09:06,331 --> 00:09:12,040 Until your entire being is humming with that electric sexual energy. 166 00:09:12,123 --> 00:09:14,498 My apartment's just around the corner. 167 00:09:15,081 --> 00:09:18,915 The only thing hotter than sex is not having sex. 168 00:09:19,373 --> 00:09:22,540 Amazingly, talking dirty about not having sex 169 00:09:22,623 --> 00:09:27,290 was the most sexually deviant act Samantha had participated in for months. 170 00:09:27,373 --> 00:09:29,415 The next night when I met Charlotte for dinner, 171 00:09:29,498 --> 00:09:31,581 I had reached my own transcendental state. 172 00:09:31,665 --> 00:09:33,665 Pure Mr. Big obsession. 173 00:09:34,248 --> 00:09:35,540 Okay, um… 174 00:09:36,123 --> 00:09:37,540 The first time he was tired. 175 00:09:37,915 --> 00:09:40,665 And the next two times, l… 176 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,290 I don't know. I don't know. It's bad, isn't it? 177 00:09:46,373 --> 00:09:49,123 Carrie, relax. There's nothing wrong with your relationship. 178 00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:52,040 - Well, that's not all. I… - What? 179 00:09:53,123 --> 00:09:55,540 I couldn't bring myself to tell her. 180 00:09:55,623 --> 00:09:57,498 I was afraid she'd go spontaneously deaf. 181 00:09:57,581 --> 00:10:00,165 I'm sorry. What were you saying? 182 00:10:00,748 --> 00:10:03,706 People put too much emphasis on the importance of sex. 183 00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:06,248 It's not the most important thing in a relationship. 184 00:10:06,331 --> 00:10:07,233 Right. 185 00:10:07,248 --> 00:10:09,081 Take Kevin and I, for example. 186 00:10:09,165 --> 00:10:11,540 We've been going out for weeks, and we still haven't done it. 187 00:10:11,623 --> 00:10:14,748 I mean, we touch and cuddle, 188 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,998 but he's sweet, and he respects my boundaries. 189 00:10:18,081 --> 00:10:20,456 And I like it. It makes it special. 190 00:10:21,081 --> 00:10:22,456 Oh, there he is. 191 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:23,831 Meeting a friend's new boyfriend 192 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,081 for the first time is always a little tense. 193 00:10:26,165 --> 00:10:28,123 What if you don't like him? What if he doesn't like you? 194 00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:30,165 Kevin, this is my good friend Carrie. 195 00:10:30,915 --> 00:10:32,665 - Hey, Carrie. - Hi. 196 00:10:32,748 --> 00:10:34,373 What if you've already slept with him? 197 00:10:35,456 --> 00:10:38,873 - You two know each other. - Well, kind of. 198 00:10:38,956 --> 00:10:40,123 We used to go out. 199 00:10:40,956 --> 00:10:43,706 Well, kind of used to go out. 200 00:10:44,331 --> 00:10:45,956 You two used to go out? 201 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,165 That's so funny. 202 00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,498 - Isn't that funny? - That's my office. 203 00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:51,498 I gotta take this. I'll be right back. 204 00:10:55,748 --> 00:10:56,873 Okay, when? 205 00:10:57,623 --> 00:11:00,956 - Um, three years ago? - Three years. I can live with that. 206 00:11:01,915 --> 00:11:02,900 Serious? 207 00:11:02,915 --> 00:11:05,498 - No. - Good. Why'd you break up? 208 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,331 You know, we were in different places and l… 209 00:11:08,415 --> 00:11:11,748 Carrie, we don't have time for diplomacy. Just tell me. 210 00:11:12,081 --> 00:11:13,290 He's a sex maniac. 211 00:11:20,415 --> 00:11:23,081 When Charlotte discovered that Kevin had tucked his libido away 212 00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:26,998 for her comfort level, she was even more moved by his restraint. 213 00:11:27,706 --> 00:11:30,415 I want you to know how much I appreciate your patience. 214 00:11:31,873 --> 00:11:33,748 You've been so patient with me. 215 00:11:34,206 --> 00:11:35,873 Shows how much you really care. 216 00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:38,123 And all that waiting 217 00:11:38,706 --> 00:11:41,165 is gonna make it all the more special for us now. 218 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,123 There's only gonna be one stop. Thanks. 219 00:12:05,623 --> 00:12:07,331 I don't think this is gonna work. 220 00:12:08,415 --> 00:12:10,706 - Why? Is it me? - No, you're great. 221 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,873 I'm just not that sexual a guy. 222 00:12:14,831 --> 00:12:16,915 It's me. I know it's me. 223 00:12:17,706 --> 00:12:21,081 Look, Carrie told me that you were quite sexual. 224 00:12:21,165 --> 00:12:24,581 In fact, I believe she used the word "maniac." 225 00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:26,248 That was before. 226 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:30,081 - Before what? - Prozac. 227 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:33,581 - Prozac. - Yeah. I used to be such a mess. 228 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:36,956 Mr. Mood Swing. It's a total lifesaver. 229 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,915 The only downside is, is it takes the air out of my tires. 230 00:12:40,248 --> 00:12:43,123 After a while, it's kind of like a taffy pull. 231 00:12:44,706 --> 00:12:47,123 It's okay. Don't worry about it. 232 00:12:48,081 --> 00:12:51,165 I don't. I mean, I wish I could say I felt worse, but… 233 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:54,456 To tell you the truth, these days, nothing gets me down. 234 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:56,456 You want to watch a movie? 235 00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:03,290 Terrified of going to Mr. Big's 236 00:13:03,373 --> 00:13:05,956 for what could become another platonic sleepover, 237 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,706 I paced my apartment and tried not to think about our lack of sex when… 238 00:13:11,873 --> 00:13:13,790 There they were, my new neighbors, 239 00:13:13,873 --> 00:13:15,790 Mr. And Mrs. Get-it-on. 240 00:13:16,373 --> 00:13:20,081 A couple so obviously into each other there was only one thing to do… 241 00:13:20,790 --> 00:13:21,873 watch. 242 00:13:26,123 --> 00:13:28,290 Then something wonderful happened. 243 00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:30,748 My desire overcame my fear. 244 00:13:30,831 --> 00:13:32,623 Hi, it's me. 245 00:13:32,706 --> 00:13:34,290 Is it okay if I come over? 246 00:13:35,123 --> 00:13:36,123 Okay. 247 00:13:36,706 --> 00:13:39,665 Meanwhile, across town at the corner of Nirvana and West Third, 248 00:13:39,748 --> 00:13:43,331 Siddhartha was helping Samantha along her newfound path. 249 00:13:43,415 --> 00:13:46,081 "Blocks are connection to our inner life 250 00:13:46,165 --> 00:13:47,706 and true identities." 251 00:13:48,373 --> 00:13:50,665 - You're hard. - I know. 252 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,290 "Our addictions and attachments 253 00:13:53,373 --> 00:13:55,331 are a way to block our spiritual hunger 254 00:13:56,123 --> 00:13:58,498 through unhealthy and dependent ways." 255 00:13:58,581 --> 00:14:00,873 - You're still hard. - It'll go down. 256 00:14:01,248 --> 00:14:02,665 So can I. 257 00:14:11,706 --> 00:14:15,040 I showed up at his apartment feeling sexy and confident. 258 00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:18,165 Wearing my secret-weapon skirt that really hugged my hips, 259 00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:19,248 I was ready to go. 260 00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:20,498 He didn't have a prayer. 261 00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:27,706 Very nice. Come on in. I'm watching the fight. 262 00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:36,915 Baby. 263 00:14:46,081 --> 00:14:49,456 Carrie, come on. Let me watch this. 264 00:14:53,998 --> 00:14:55,248 Oh, man! 265 00:14:59,206 --> 00:15:00,790 Jesus, Carrie! Come on! 266 00:15:00,873 --> 00:15:03,831 Would you knock it the fuck off? I'm trying to watch this fight. 267 00:15:03,915 --> 00:15:05,415 Fine. I'll leave. 268 00:15:05,498 --> 00:15:08,415 What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so nuts? 269 00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:09,831 Well, maybe I'm not perfect. 270 00:15:09,915 --> 00:15:12,456 Maybe I don't fit into your perfect, you know, life 271 00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:15,415 with your perfect apartment and your perfect pay-per-view fight. 272 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,665 Maybe I should leave. 273 00:15:19,748 --> 00:15:21,748 I stood there and waited for the obligatory 274 00:15:21,831 --> 00:15:24,081 he's-coming-to-stop-me ten seconds. 275 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:25,623 He didn't. 276 00:15:26,873 --> 00:15:30,415 By the time I got home, I was sure he'd left an apology on my voice mail. 277 00:15:30,498 --> 00:15:33,331 You have no new messages in your mailbox. 278 00:15:33,415 --> 00:15:35,331 I didn't sleep very well that night, 279 00:15:35,956 --> 00:15:37,415 but I wasn't the only one. 280 00:15:38,456 --> 00:15:41,581 After a night of spiritual reading with her hunky guru, 281 00:15:41,665 --> 00:15:45,706 Samantha began to feel things she hadn't felt in a very long time, 282 00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:47,623 frustrated and horny. 283 00:15:47,706 --> 00:15:50,165 She decided it was time to put an end to her suffering. 284 00:15:50,248 --> 00:15:54,081 But just as she reached the place Krishna once called the gateway to life, 285 00:15:54,165 --> 00:15:56,415 she turned back and decided not to enter. 286 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,915 After all, she'd come this far. 287 00:15:58,998 --> 00:16:00,998 She could continue not to come at all. 288 00:16:02,665 --> 00:16:04,831 In an effort to get her mind off sex, 289 00:16:04,915 --> 00:16:07,831 Miranda had rented a five-hour Danish documentary 290 00:16:07,915 --> 00:16:09,581 on the Nuremberg trial. 291 00:16:09,665 --> 00:16:11,081 It actually worked until… 292 00:16:11,165 --> 00:16:12,206 Hey, gorgeous! 293 00:16:12,665 --> 00:16:14,373 Why don't you quick drop this? 294 00:16:15,373 --> 00:16:16,873 Hey, she's thinking about it. 295 00:16:17,790 --> 00:16:19,373 Where you going so fast? 296 00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,831 I got what you want, I got what you need. 297 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:26,165 Like every woman consumed with a relationship problem, 298 00:16:26,248 --> 00:16:28,915 I needed a project to keep my mind from obsessing 299 00:16:28,998 --> 00:16:30,915 and my hands from dialing his number. 300 00:16:35,415 --> 00:16:37,498 Three months and one week. 301 00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:40,456 Miranda needed to keep her hands busy as well. 302 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,873 - Did he call? - Nope. 303 00:16:43,706 --> 00:16:45,290 And it's been two days. 304 00:16:46,248 --> 00:16:49,206 Nice color. Ecru? 305 00:16:49,706 --> 00:16:50,706 Eggshell. 306 00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:55,623 Well, I think it's over. 307 00:16:56,623 --> 00:16:58,123 I should never have farted. 308 00:16:58,206 --> 00:17:00,831 Jesus, Carrie! That's it. I've heard enough about the fart. 309 00:17:00,915 --> 00:17:04,456 - It's not the fucking fart. - I know it's not the fucking fart. 310 00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:06,873 I just… I think I'm in love with him 311 00:17:06,956 --> 00:17:10,165 and I'm terrified that's he's gonna leave me because I'm not perfect. 312 00:17:11,081 --> 00:17:12,206 All right. 313 00:17:12,581 --> 00:17:16,123 Let's just put the roller down and go in the other room and talk, huh? 314 00:17:16,998 --> 00:17:19,123 Sex has stopped. He hasn't called. 315 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:21,915 What if he never calls and three weeks from now 316 00:17:21,998 --> 00:17:24,498 I pick up The New York Times and I read that he's married 317 00:17:24,581 --> 00:17:28,665 some perfect little woman who never passes gas under his $500 sheets. 318 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,581 When did you get so obsessed with being perfect? 319 00:17:30,665 --> 00:17:33,081 I don't know. It's something about him. I mean, you should see me around him. 320 00:17:33,165 --> 00:17:36,706 I'm not like me. I'm like "together Carrie." 321 00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:41,456 You know, I wear little outfits… "sexy Carrie," and "casual Carrie." 322 00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:45,248 Sometimes I catch myself actually posing. It's exhausting. 323 00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:46,748 Well then, stop. 324 00:17:47,165 --> 00:17:49,456 Why don't you show him more of this Carrie? She's pretty great. 325 00:17:49,540 --> 00:17:50,831 What if he doesn't like her? 326 00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:53,623 Miranda? 327 00:17:54,331 --> 00:17:55,623 Oh, my God! 328 00:17:57,165 --> 00:17:58,456 Look at them. 329 00:17:58,540 --> 00:17:59,540 Oh, wow! 330 00:17:59,998 --> 00:18:02,290 I had no idea they did an afternoon show. 331 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,956 When a show is good, word gets around. 332 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,540 There we were, the '90s version of matinee ladies. 333 00:18:08,873 --> 00:18:10,248 Who said the theater was dead. 334 00:18:10,331 --> 00:18:13,040 Samantha, I cannot believe that you would give this up on purpose. 335 00:18:13,123 --> 00:18:16,081 - Actually, I hardly miss it. - How long has it been? 336 00:18:16,165 --> 00:18:19,123 - A hundred years. - It never goes down, does it? 337 00:18:19,206 --> 00:18:21,831 - Look, it's still… - Hard. 338 00:18:21,915 --> 00:18:24,290 - Yeah. - Gummy Bear, please. 339 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,415 - Give me the fucking candy. - Hey, snapping over Gummy Bears 340 00:18:30,498 --> 00:18:32,706 might be a sign that celibacy's not for you. 341 00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:34,873 All I can say is that my big payoff better be worth it. 342 00:18:34,956 --> 00:18:36,790 Samantha, I don't understand you. 343 00:18:36,873 --> 00:18:39,623 There are people starving out there and you're fasting. 344 00:18:39,706 --> 00:18:41,873 Stop complaining. At least you can take care of yourself. 345 00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:43,831 I'm way beyond that point. 346 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,873 Besides, I think I've given myself carpal tunnel. 347 00:18:45,956 --> 00:18:48,206 Sure, it's all fun until you get to know each other. 348 00:18:51,206 --> 00:18:53,165 That move right there, that's what they're famous for. 349 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:57,415 It's been an hour. How can that guy still be… 350 00:18:57,498 --> 00:18:58,665 Hard. 351 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,540 I have got to try this again with Kevin. 352 00:19:01,623 --> 00:19:02,873 I mean, we really like each other. 353 00:19:02,956 --> 00:19:05,206 That's got to be stronger than a drug, right? 354 00:19:05,873 --> 00:19:07,331 I'm warning you, ladies, 355 00:19:07,415 --> 00:19:10,915 if I make it to four months, I'm humping one of you. 356 00:19:13,873 --> 00:19:15,290 Oh, my God. 357 00:19:15,998 --> 00:19:17,206 I hate them. 358 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:20,915 After the second show, each of us went on with our Saturdays. 359 00:19:20,998 --> 00:19:23,998 Miranda went to get a movie and another pound of Gummy Bears. 360 00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:26,331 Hey, it's my sweetheart! 361 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:29,040 You're looking good, baby. Good enough to eat. 362 00:19:29,123 --> 00:19:31,915 Where are you goin', doll? I got what you want. 363 00:19:32,248 --> 00:19:34,540 - I got what you need. - You talking to me? 364 00:19:34,623 --> 00:19:36,623 We got a live one, boys. 365 00:19:37,248 --> 00:19:39,748 You got what I want? You got what I need? 366 00:19:40,123 --> 00:19:43,415 Well, what I want is to get laid. What I need is to get laid. 367 00:19:43,498 --> 00:19:47,206 - I need is to get laid. - Take it easy, lady. I'm married. 368 00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:50,873 All talk and no action, huh? What a cafone! 369 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,873 Yeah, she's something else. 370 00:19:54,706 --> 00:19:57,415 Samantha decided to channel her frustration at yoga. 371 00:19:57,498 --> 00:19:58,540 Good. 372 00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:02,206 Now release and breathe. 373 00:20:02,623 --> 00:20:06,540 Unless you're planning to move those hands down, get them off me. 374 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,623 Exhale and turn around into asana. 375 00:20:09,581 --> 00:20:13,540 She had reached the end of her path and her patience. 376 00:20:13,623 --> 00:20:15,665 Psst. 377 00:20:18,831 --> 00:20:21,081 Breathe. Ease your lower back. 378 00:20:23,998 --> 00:20:25,748 Wanna fuck? 379 00:20:28,748 --> 00:20:29,956 Wanna fuck? 380 00:20:30,831 --> 00:20:31,831 Yeah. 381 00:20:36,706 --> 00:20:38,665 Samantha spent the rest of the afternoon 382 00:20:38,748 --> 00:20:40,540 having multiple yo-gasms. 383 00:20:41,956 --> 00:20:45,415 Later that night, Charlotte was determined to prove she was stronger 384 00:20:45,498 --> 00:20:48,331 than selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors. 385 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,456 Isn't your arm getting tired? 386 00:20:50,831 --> 00:20:52,956 No, I think it's starting to work. 387 00:20:53,373 --> 00:20:54,373 Charlotte. 388 00:20:55,081 --> 00:20:57,748 It's not, and I'm beginning to chafe. 389 00:20:58,623 --> 00:20:59,623 Oh. 390 00:21:07,415 --> 00:21:09,748 - You okay? - Yeah. 391 00:21:09,831 --> 00:21:12,665 I've just never been in this situation before. 392 00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:15,540 Do you think you'll ever… 393 00:21:17,665 --> 00:21:20,581 - Never mind. - What, think I'll ever go off it? 394 00:21:20,665 --> 00:21:22,331 - Yeah. - Nope. 395 00:21:22,998 --> 00:21:24,248 Not even for me? 396 00:21:25,456 --> 00:21:26,498 Nope. 397 00:21:27,706 --> 00:21:31,165 Come on. Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who's kind and giving 398 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,165 and not that interested in sex, 399 00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:36,165 than an unstable, oversexed prick who only wants to get laid? 400 00:21:41,248 --> 00:21:42,540 Nope. 401 00:21:42,623 --> 00:21:43,831 Once Charlotte realized 402 00:21:43,915 --> 00:21:45,873 she couldn't get what she thought she didn't want, 403 00:21:45,956 --> 00:21:48,373 she couldn't imagine going on without it. 404 00:21:49,998 --> 00:21:53,123 Saturday night's dinner came and went with no call from Big. 405 00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:55,331 My life was suddenly shit, 406 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,331 but my cabinets were looking fabulous. 407 00:22:00,123 --> 00:22:02,040 - Who is it? - Me. 408 00:22:08,415 --> 00:22:11,040 - Surprise. - Yeah. 409 00:22:16,373 --> 00:22:17,456 Wow! 410 00:22:21,248 --> 00:22:24,123 - What's all this? - I'm painting. 411 00:22:24,206 --> 00:22:25,498 I can see that. 412 00:22:26,623 --> 00:22:27,915 Why didn't you call? 413 00:22:29,706 --> 00:22:31,165 Why didn't you call? 414 00:22:35,623 --> 00:22:37,331 So this is where you live. 415 00:22:40,706 --> 00:22:42,540 About time you invited me up. 416 00:22:42,956 --> 00:22:44,373 I didn't invite you. 417 00:22:45,081 --> 00:22:46,290 I know. 418 00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:57,373 It's nice. Very nice. 419 00:22:57,456 --> 00:22:58,956 No, it's not. It's a mess. 420 00:23:00,623 --> 00:23:02,748 The floors need to be stripped and the curtains are… 421 00:23:04,581 --> 00:23:06,206 I want to change a lot of it. 422 00:23:07,790 --> 00:23:08,956 I don't know. 423 00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:12,123 I like it. 424 00:23:18,873 --> 00:23:20,165 I like it the way it is. 425 00:23:22,331 --> 00:23:24,165 What was that all about the other night? 426 00:23:25,123 --> 00:23:26,206 That was me… 427 00:23:27,581 --> 00:23:28,706 having a meltdown. 428 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,040 Okay. 429 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,373 Nice paint. 430 00:23:40,831 --> 00:23:42,748 - Eggshell? - Yes. 431 00:23:43,290 --> 00:23:44,290 Mm-hmm. 432 00:23:50,248 --> 00:23:53,290 Did you know that there's a couple humping outside of your window? 433 00:23:54,456 --> 00:23:56,915 Really? Oh, I never noticed. 434 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,498 All I could think was why aren't we having sex? 435 00:24:01,956 --> 00:24:04,665 Is this normal? What's wrong? 436 00:24:04,998 --> 00:24:06,290 Where are we going? 437 00:24:06,373 --> 00:24:07,373 Oh, hell. 438 00:24:09,373 --> 00:24:10,873 We can do better than that. 439 00:24:15,331 --> 00:24:17,415 And then he kissed me. 440 00:24:19,540 --> 00:24:23,581 Odd, how normal can sometimes feel so uncomfortable.