1 00:00:47,745 --> 00:00:50,036 There are over seven million people in New York, 2 00:00:50,453 --> 00:00:51,995 and that's not including house guests. 3 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,036 Visitors are a vital par of the city's economy. 4 00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:58,870 Most single people in Manhattan do not buy furniture or hang pictures 5 00:00:59,078 --> 00:01:01,661 until faced with the arrival of an out-of-towner. 6 00:01:01,745 --> 00:01:03,911 Hey, that's a great couch. Where'd it come from? 7 00:01:04,078 --> 00:01:05,370 I have no idea. 8 00:01:05,661 --> 00:01:07,995 Everything in Miranda's new apartment was hand-picked, 9 00:01:08,078 --> 00:01:09,745 covered, finished and arranged 10 00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:13,786 by Charlotte's friend Madeline Dunn, an up-and-coming interior designer. 11 00:01:13,911 --> 00:01:17,828 - I've been looking for one of those. - That's very stylish for a pull-out. 12 00:01:18,786 --> 00:01:20,661 I'll have that end table for you tomorrow. 13 00:01:23,828 --> 00:01:24,828 Bye. 14 00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:27,120 - Thank you. - Welcome. 15 00:01:28,661 --> 00:01:30,245 This is a sofa bed? 16 00:01:30,411 --> 00:01:32,786 Yeah, that's what started this whole thing. 17 00:01:33,286 --> 00:01:34,953 I needed a sofa bed for Jeremy. 18 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,453 And now if he actually sleeps on it while staying in my fabulous apartment, 19 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,786 I may have to throw myself out a window treatment. 20 00:01:41,578 --> 00:01:43,245 Jeremy was an old friend of Miranda's 21 00:01:43,328 --> 00:01:46,411 who'd been in London for several years writing for The Economist. 22 00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:49,370 He was coming to New York to scope out the job situation. 23 00:01:49,578 --> 00:01:51,786 And Miranda suggested he be her house guest 24 00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:55,870 because his emails, always entertaining, had stared to border on flirtatious. 25 00:01:56,536 --> 00:02:00,120 Meanwhile, I had become a frequent house guest of Big's. 26 00:02:01,328 --> 00:02:04,245 Damn! Hey, do you have a spare toothbrush I could use? 27 00:02:06,828 --> 00:02:10,286 - A spare toothbrush? - Well, I'll bring you a new one. 28 00:02:11,411 --> 00:02:12,411 Excuse me. 29 00:02:37,786 --> 00:02:42,620 There's only one pink brush head and Big was giving his to me. 30 00:02:42,911 --> 00:02:46,661 It was the single most encouraging moment so far in our relationship. 31 00:02:48,245 --> 00:02:49,661 The next night, when Jeremy arrived, 32 00:02:49,745 --> 00:02:52,328 he was even more adorable than Miranda remembered. 33 00:02:52,495 --> 00:02:57,120 - I love your flat. - Thanks. So, how the hell are you? 34 00:02:57,203 --> 00:02:58,411 Especially when he said… 35 00:02:58,495 --> 00:03:01,578 I'm tired of dating. I'm ready to get married. 36 00:03:03,953 --> 00:03:07,911 - Miranda, are you here? - Coming! 37 00:03:08,995 --> 00:03:10,495 That must be my end table. 38 00:03:10,828 --> 00:03:13,536 See, my end table's afraid to go out alone. 39 00:03:15,453 --> 00:03:20,161 I hope you like the finish. It's a hair darker than I was thinking. 40 00:03:20,661 --> 00:03:24,453 - Oh. hi. Sorry to interrupt. - That's beautiful. Is it Biedermeier? 41 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:27,078 Inspired by Biedermeier. Good eye! 42 00:03:27,453 --> 00:03:31,078 I'm addicted to Architectural Digest. Jeremy Fields. 43 00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:34,036 - Oh, I'm sorry. This is… - Madeline. Madeline Dunn. 44 00:03:35,453 --> 00:03:36,453 Pleasure. 45 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,578 Well, thanks for bringing that by. 46 00:03:39,661 --> 00:03:41,620 We were just about to go out and get some dinner, so… 47 00:03:41,703 --> 00:03:43,578 Did… Did you want to join us? 48 00:03:45,911 --> 00:03:49,620 Last week I was doing an interview at a restaurant in Kensington… 49 00:03:49,703 --> 00:03:52,953 Miranda suddenly found herself in a situation every woman dreams of, 50 00:03:53,411 --> 00:03:55,703 she was on a truly great first date. 51 00:03:55,953 --> 00:03:58,953 "Just be careful not to eat any buckshot!" 52 00:03:59,536 --> 00:04:01,578 Unfortunately, it was somebody else's. 53 00:04:03,328 --> 00:04:06,953 I should get Jeremy home. You must be jet-lagged. 54 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,870 Actually, I feel great. I slept on the plane for once. 55 00:04:10,078 --> 00:04:13,036 - Well, I'm pretty beat. - Did you want to go? 56 00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:15,828 No, not if you're… 57 00:04:15,911 --> 00:04:18,286 Go ahead. I can find my way back. 58 00:04:19,745 --> 00:04:21,578 Right, of course, we don't have to… 59 00:04:22,411 --> 00:04:24,953 Except I forgot to make a copy of the key. 60 00:04:27,328 --> 00:04:29,203 Jeremy could use my key. 61 00:04:31,286 --> 00:04:32,286 Of course. 62 00:04:33,370 --> 00:04:34,578 I gave you a key. 63 00:04:37,370 --> 00:04:40,453 Well, then. Goodnight. I… 64 00:04:42,036 --> 00:04:43,036 Yeah. 65 00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:46,911 So, I was at that same restaurant… 66 00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:50,995 A week later, Miranda threw Jeremy a going-away party. 67 00:04:59,036 --> 00:05:01,911 I'd like to make a toast to my good friend Miranda, 68 00:05:02,078 --> 00:05:06,536 who not only put me up, she threw this soiree in celebration of my departure. 69 00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:09,995 Okay, Miranda. I get the hint. 70 00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:14,578 I'd especially like to thank her for introducing me to Madeline, 71 00:05:15,203 --> 00:05:17,036 an incredible, beautiful woman 72 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,495 who must be drunk off her ass because she just agreed to marry me! 73 00:05:21,828 --> 00:05:22,828 Oh, my God! 74 00:05:23,078 --> 00:05:25,786 Apparently, the only thing going away was Miranda's dream. 75 00:05:26,370 --> 00:05:28,370 Congratulations! 76 00:05:30,911 --> 00:05:33,286 Ice. We should get more ice. 77 00:05:35,495 --> 00:05:38,995 Everyone says as soon as you get a place of your own, someone will propose. 78 00:05:39,161 --> 00:05:40,536 I thought it would be to me. 79 00:05:41,161 --> 00:05:43,370 Well, the very least, the woman owes you a mortgage payment. 80 00:05:43,453 --> 00:05:46,411 How is this even possible? These people just met. 81 00:05:46,495 --> 00:05:47,828 It's love at first sight. 82 00:05:48,036 --> 00:05:49,536 Oh honey. This isn't love. 83 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:53,078 This is about two people justifying a week of non-stop fucking. 84 00:05:53,161 --> 00:05:55,703 On my furniture. I have to redecorate. 85 00:05:55,828 --> 00:05:57,620 Well, I think this is encouraging. 86 00:05:57,703 --> 00:06:00,286 This means that even if you're not dating anybody, 87 00:06:00,370 --> 00:06:02,661 you could be engaged in a couple of weeks. 88 00:06:02,786 --> 00:06:04,953 Or date you could be dating someone for a year 89 00:06:05,078 --> 00:06:07,578 and be thrilled to get an electric toothbrush head. 90 00:06:07,745 --> 00:06:11,036 I don't understand why women are obsessed about getting married. 91 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,286 I mean, married people just want to be single again. 92 00:06:13,453 --> 00:06:16,078 If you're single, the world is your smorgasbord. 93 00:06:17,078 --> 00:06:17,980 Excuse me, 94 00:06:17,995 --> 00:06:20,828 can you tell me if this is where Jeremy Fields' engagement party is? 95 00:06:20,995 --> 00:06:23,495 It's the red awning. And it's a going-away party. 96 00:06:23,578 --> 00:06:26,453 - I can take you there if you'd like. - Were you going to the party? 97 00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:29,786 Well, I was actually leaving the party because there were no handsome men there 98 00:06:29,953 --> 00:06:31,828 but maybe the tide is turning. 99 00:06:37,953 --> 00:06:38,953 Oh, I get it. 100 00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:42,161 My apartment is going to be lucky for everybody but me. 101 00:06:42,370 --> 00:06:44,536 What apartment isn't lucky for Samantha? 102 00:06:45,036 --> 00:06:47,328 - This is all your fault. - What? 103 00:06:47,411 --> 00:06:49,161 You introduced me to Madeline. 104 00:06:49,495 --> 00:06:52,828 I could have hired a nice, gay decorator and none of this would have happened. 105 00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:55,120 But then Madeline and Jeremy might never have met. 106 00:06:55,203 --> 00:06:57,745 Yes and Jeremy would have fallen in love with me. 107 00:06:57,953 --> 00:06:59,578 It's not like musical chairs. 108 00:06:59,661 --> 00:07:02,828 Why not me? What am I doing wrong? Am I invisible? 109 00:07:03,453 --> 00:07:05,995 - Can I help you? - I live here! 110 00:07:11,036 --> 00:07:13,203 That night, I needed a little reality check. 111 00:07:19,453 --> 00:07:20,453 Hello? 112 00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:22,578 Hey, I was just at this party 113 00:07:22,661 --> 00:07:25,411 and two people who met a week ago announced their engagement. 114 00:07:26,328 --> 00:07:28,370 - And? - Well, I don't know. 115 00:07:28,453 --> 00:07:29,578 Isn't that a bit shocking? 116 00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:31,786 Well, his is New York, nothing is shocking. 117 00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:33,703 We've embraced public urination. 118 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,161 Yeah. But these people think they're soul mates. 119 00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:39,911 Did they actually use the term "soul mates"? 120 00:07:39,995 --> 00:07:41,245 Yeah, several times. 121 00:07:41,411 --> 00:07:43,786 Then I give them three months. What are you wearing? 122 00:07:46,370 --> 00:07:51,161 - Do you believe in love at first sight? - I believe in lust at first sight. 123 00:07:51,286 --> 00:07:53,161 - I'm serious. - So am l. 124 00:07:53,953 --> 00:07:56,495 Come on, I need a visual. 125 00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,870 I don't know. A top, strapless. It's denim. 126 00:08:00,953 --> 00:08:02,370 Ohh! 127 00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:05,370 - Hey. were you asleep when I called? - Yes. 128 00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:08,120 - Sorry. - It's okay. 129 00:08:08,661 --> 00:08:10,203 But next time, be at the door… 130 00:08:10,953 --> 00:08:11,953 naked. 131 00:08:14,078 --> 00:08:15,078 I started to wonder. 132 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,870 In a city as cynical as New York, 133 00:08:18,161 --> 00:08:21,203 is it still possible to believe in love at first sight? 134 00:08:21,953 --> 00:08:24,703 I'd completely given up on the idea, but now I know 135 00:08:24,786 --> 00:08:26,953 the people who don't believe in love at first sight, 136 00:08:27,036 --> 00:08:28,745 are the people who haven't experienced it. 137 00:08:29,286 --> 00:08:32,328 Love at first sight is for Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman. 138 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,161 It's too flaky for New York. 139 00:08:34,411 --> 00:08:36,620 Here, women want to see a blood test 140 00:08:36,703 --> 00:08:39,453 and an ATM receipt before giving you their number. 141 00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:41,745 How can you believe in love at first sight 142 00:08:41,911 --> 00:08:44,578 in a city where people jerk off on you in the subway? 143 00:08:44,661 --> 00:08:46,120 I'm thinking a harpist for the ceremony… 144 00:08:46,286 --> 00:08:47,828 A bride four weeks from her wedding 145 00:08:47,911 --> 00:08:49,370 doesn't have time to meet you for coffee, 146 00:08:49,578 --> 00:08:52,161 so I joined Madeline for a mind-boggling hour 147 00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:54,286 in the presence of absolute certainty. 148 00:08:54,411 --> 00:08:55,396 …gorgeous Hamptons' wedding. 149 00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:57,620 Flowers, flowers, flowers everywhere! 150 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,411 I'd like each bridesmaid to carry a different flower. 151 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:02,078 So, tulips, irises, lilies, gerbera daisies. 152 00:09:02,245 --> 00:09:03,870 Charlotte should have the tulips! 153 00:09:03,953 --> 00:09:05,286 Did she mention she's one of my bridesmaids? 154 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:06,620 Oh, of course. She's thrilled. 155 00:09:06,703 --> 00:09:09,578 And we asked Miranda to do the guest book since she introduced us. 156 00:09:09,911 --> 00:09:10,911 And… 157 00:09:11,495 --> 00:09:12,661 You know, Carrie. 158 00:09:12,745 --> 00:09:15,245 - I'm such a fan of your column. - Oh… 159 00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:16,453 Is there any way you would consider 160 00:09:16,536 --> 00:09:18,161 writing something to read at our wedding? 161 00:09:20,745 --> 00:09:21,911 What does she want you to write? 162 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,411 A poem about love. 163 00:09:23,495 --> 00:09:25,161 Dear God, I hope you said no. 164 00:09:25,245 --> 00:09:28,161 How do you say no to somebody who wants you to be involved in her wedding? 165 00:09:28,328 --> 00:09:30,911 If I could answer that, I wouldn't be in charge of the guest book. 166 00:09:31,911 --> 00:09:34,870 Why did I agree to this? I write about sex, not love. 167 00:09:34,953 --> 00:09:35,953 What do I know about love? 168 00:09:35,995 --> 00:09:38,078 - I might have to get married now. - What? 169 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,120 That guy I picked up at Miranda's… 170 00:09:40,203 --> 00:09:42,953 If you're engaged, I am selling the apartment. 171 00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:44,286 Hardly. 172 00:09:44,911 --> 00:09:47,078 That night, we went back to my place. 173 00:09:49,453 --> 00:09:51,828 Tug my hair, tug my hair! Tug my hair! 174 00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:56,120 It all seemed so familiar. She was having a déjafuck. 175 00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:59,286 - What's wrong? - I've slept with you before. 176 00:09:59,453 --> 00:10:00,911 Yeah, yeah, like 15 years ago. 177 00:10:01,453 --> 00:10:03,328 Well, why the hell didn't you say something? 178 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,870 I just thought you were playing the sexy stranger game. 179 00:10:06,745 --> 00:10:09,036 - So, it was kind of a reunion. - I don't understand. 180 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,370 How could you forget someone you slept with? 181 00:10:11,453 --> 00:10:13,703 Toto, I don't think we're in single digits any more. 182 00:10:13,786 --> 00:10:16,495 Okay, but it's not you shared a cab with this guy. 183 00:10:16,578 --> 00:10:17,745 I mean, you slept with him. 184 00:10:17,828 --> 00:10:19,120 Maybe we did it in a cab. 185 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:21,203 I'd like to forget some of the men I've slept with. 186 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:24,620 - I keep a list. - How sweet. "Men to do today"! 187 00:10:24,745 --> 00:10:28,745 So, I'm officially out of men to fuck. I have to get married or move. 188 00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:31,495 That's Lovely! Can I use that in my poem? 189 00:10:31,745 --> 00:10:32,745 It's yours. 190 00:10:32,911 --> 00:10:34,828 Wait till you guys see my bridesmaid's dress. 191 00:10:34,911 --> 00:10:35,911 Is it hideous? 192 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,870 No, we got to pick our own. 193 00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:40,870 It's this amazing, backless, black satin. 194 00:10:40,995 --> 00:10:43,411 Mmm! Pretty sexy for a bridesmaid. 195 00:10:43,495 --> 00:10:45,536 Well, all Madeline said was that it had to be black. 196 00:10:45,786 --> 00:10:48,203 - Honey, calm down. - No! 197 00:10:48,411 --> 00:10:51,911 I've been tasteful and appropriate at seven other weddings. 198 00:10:52,203 --> 00:10:54,911 I'm always Charlotte "Don't look at me, look at the bride." 199 00:10:55,245 --> 00:10:57,411 This time people are going to look at me! 200 00:10:57,911 --> 00:10:58,911 For some reason, 201 00:10:58,953 --> 00:11:01,536 this whirlwind wedding was creating a great deal of stress 202 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,203 for everyone but the bride and groom. 203 00:11:05,911 --> 00:11:08,786 The next night, I made the mistake of telling Big about the poem. 204 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:13,203 Love, glove, dove. Dove is good. 205 00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:17,370 Love is like a dove. Or a big fuzzy glove. 206 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,411 Don't use that. I might have stolen it from a greeting card. 207 00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:24,620 - Okay, thanks. - What? This is fun. 208 00:11:24,786 --> 00:11:27,370 It's not supposed to be fun. This is somebody's wedding. 209 00:11:27,995 --> 00:11:31,745 - A wedding is serious to some people. - Then "shove" probably won't work. 210 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:39,078 - When is this wedding? - It doesn't matter. You're not going. 211 00:11:39,203 --> 00:11:41,245 Yes, I am. 212 00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:45,453 I wouldn't miss you reciting "love, glove, dove" 213 00:11:45,536 --> 00:11:47,203 in front of all of New York for anything. 214 00:11:49,245 --> 00:11:50,911 Oh, please. 215 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,703 Things with Big were good. 216 00:11:57,786 --> 00:11:59,495 He was actually going with me to a wedding. 217 00:12:03,911 --> 00:12:06,995 Can I just say… wow! 218 00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:08,703 Hey. 219 00:12:08,953 --> 00:12:10,286 I need a few minutes. 220 00:12:10,370 --> 00:12:12,703 Oh, I left the card here for you to sign. 221 00:12:14,245 --> 00:12:16,078 I don't need to sign it. They're your friends. 222 00:12:16,161 --> 00:12:19,203 They're not my friends and your name's on the invitation, too. 223 00:12:19,536 --> 00:12:20,786 - Really? - Yes. 224 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,620 It was my first time to get something other than 225 00:12:23,703 --> 00:12:25,453 "Carrie Bradshaw and guest." 226 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:26,536 How'd they get my name? 227 00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:33,078 I don't know, I guess Madeline must have asked Charlotte or something. 228 00:12:33,245 --> 00:12:35,911 Whatever. If you don't want to sign the card, it's not a big deal. 229 00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:44,953 Would you like to sign the guest book? 230 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,328 Would you like to sign the guest book? 231 00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,495 Would you like to sign the guest book? 232 00:12:52,328 --> 00:12:54,036 Hi. Would you like to sign the guest book? 233 00:12:54,286 --> 00:12:57,286 At least we get to see who's arriving alone. 234 00:12:57,370 --> 00:12:59,286 Samantha could always be counted on 235 00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:02,411 to take life's lemons and make them into Spanish Fly. 236 00:13:03,245 --> 00:13:07,120 - Do you know where they want the gifts? - Excuse me, I'm not the gift person. 237 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,536 That's some other B list friend. 238 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:11,203 Oh Christ! My rerun's here! 239 00:13:11,286 --> 00:13:13,620 Of course, he's here. You met him at the engagement party. 240 00:13:13,745 --> 00:13:16,036 I have to start writing things down. 241 00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:18,661 I also have to start drinking heavily. 242 00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:21,870 Where's Big? 243 00:13:22,911 --> 00:13:26,078 - Inside, looking bored. - Hey, that's my look. 244 00:13:26,745 --> 00:13:29,661 Should I be bothered by the fact that he wouldn't sign the card? 245 00:13:29,828 --> 00:13:32,661 Well, I'm certainly glad I didn't ask him to sign the guest book. 246 00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:34,911 Oh yeah. That would have put him over the edge. 247 00:13:36,828 --> 00:13:38,453 C harlotte wasn't kidding about the dress. 248 00:13:38,703 --> 00:13:40,245 It was hard not to notice her. 249 00:13:40,328 --> 00:13:41,370 Look at you! 250 00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:43,411 - Oh, my God! - You look amazing! 251 00:13:44,203 --> 00:13:46,995 - Holy moley! - Oh my gosh! I am so late! 252 00:13:47,161 --> 00:13:49,161 Hi, are you with the bride or the groom? 253 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,703 Actually, I'm a bridesmaid. 254 00:13:50,995 --> 00:13:52,828 - Oh! Are you Charlotte? - Yes. 255 00:13:52,911 --> 00:13:55,036 Hi, I'm Martin Healey. I'll be walking you down the aisle. 256 00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:58,870 All her life, Charlotte had imagined doing exactly that 257 00:13:59,036 --> 00:14:01,203 with someone exactly like Martin. 258 00:14:02,245 --> 00:14:04,036 I'll show you where you're supposed to be. 259 00:14:04,536 --> 00:14:05,536 Okay. 260 00:14:05,703 --> 00:14:06,911 Hello. Are you seeing this? 261 00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:10,328 I've been here half an hour, that guy never even looked at me! 262 00:14:10,411 --> 00:14:12,411 While Miranda was feeling invisible, 263 00:14:12,536 --> 00:14:14,161 I was feeling far too visible. 264 00:14:14,245 --> 00:14:17,161 I'm in the program? I barely know the bride and groom. 265 00:14:17,245 --> 00:14:18,745 They barely know each other. 266 00:14:18,828 --> 00:14:21,036 Hey, look I'm right between the vows and the fish course. 267 00:14:21,370 --> 00:14:24,745 Am I in there? No, of course not. 268 00:14:25,036 --> 00:14:27,911 - Well, I'd better find Big. - I'm coming with you. 269 00:14:28,036 --> 00:14:29,953 Can you leave the guest book unattended? 270 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,745 It's a bullshit job, Carrie. 271 00:14:31,828 --> 00:14:33,703 People know what to do with the guest book. 272 00:14:34,078 --> 00:14:36,661 The ceremony was short and sweet, just like the engagement. 273 00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:39,161 And now, please welcome our newly-weds, 274 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:43,953 Mr. Jeremy Fields and Mrs. Madeline Dunn-Fields. 275 00:14:58,995 --> 00:14:59,995 It's amazing. 276 00:15:00,036 --> 00:15:01,995 It took her six months to find me an end table 277 00:15:02,078 --> 00:15:04,745 but she can plan a wedding at The Plaza in four weeks. 278 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,245 Five bucks says that your end table lasts longer than her marriage. 279 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:17,120 Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! 280 00:15:17,370 --> 00:15:20,620 People have said a lot of nice things about Jeremy. 281 00:15:20,703 --> 00:15:23,370 And I am here to make a rebuttal. 282 00:15:24,495 --> 00:15:27,370 Seriously, I have known Jeremy a long time. 283 00:15:27,453 --> 00:15:29,203 Which is more than the bride can say. 284 00:15:29,286 --> 00:15:31,036 I am very happy for you both. 285 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,703 I only hope that someday I can have what you two have, 286 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,453 8,000 little napkins with my name on them. 287 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,370 And you know, of course, someone to love. 288 00:15:43,161 --> 00:15:44,161 Cheers! 289 00:15:49,161 --> 00:15:50,161 Thank you. 290 00:15:52,245 --> 00:15:54,911 And now, we have a very special treat. 291 00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:58,078 One of my favorite writers, Carrie Bradshaw, 292 00:15:58,161 --> 00:16:01,161 has agreed to share a poem that she wrote for the occasion. 293 00:16:04,828 --> 00:16:05,828 Shit. 294 00:16:12,578 --> 00:16:14,078 As I made my way to the microphone, 295 00:16:14,286 --> 00:16:16,036 I could only think one thing, 296 00:16:16,661 --> 00:16:17,703 dead woman walking. 297 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:34,911 His hello was the end of her endings. 298 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,911 Her laugh was their first step down the aisle. 299 00:16:40,161 --> 00:16:43,411 His hand would be hers to hold forever. 300 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:48,370 His forever was as simple as her smile. 301 00:16:51,036 --> 00:16:52,536 And suddenly it hit me, 302 00:16:53,036 --> 00:16:55,536 two people were committing to a life together 303 00:16:55,995 --> 00:16:58,536 and I couldn't even get a guy to be on a card with me. 304 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:06,328 He said she was what was missing. 305 00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:09,453 She said instantly she knew. 306 00:17:11,286 --> 00:17:13,036 She was a question to be answered. 307 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:20,286 And his answer was I do. 308 00:17:21,995 --> 00:17:24,203 I had no choice but to embrace the moment 309 00:17:24,453 --> 00:17:28,870 and try to pass off my tears as tears of joy for the happy couple. 310 00:17:37,995 --> 00:17:39,411 Charlotte, can I have the salad dressing? 311 00:17:39,578 --> 00:17:41,745 - I want three or four kids, too. - Okay, okay. 312 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,786 Where do you stand on dog versus cat? 313 00:17:46,828 --> 00:17:49,828 You know, I think that this should be our song. 314 00:17:49,911 --> 00:17:51,411 Then we should dance to it. 315 00:17:51,495 --> 00:17:52,495 Okay. 316 00:17:54,828 --> 00:17:56,578 What? Are they in the Evelyn Wood plan, too? 317 00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:02,036 Sorry, I had to take a call. Did I miss anything? 318 00:18:02,495 --> 00:18:05,661 Well, you missed my poem and most of the reception, 319 00:18:06,245 --> 00:18:09,286 but there's nothing like a slow dance to make you forgive and forget. 320 00:18:09,786 --> 00:18:12,078 Maybe later. I hate to dance while people are eating. 321 00:18:12,578 --> 00:18:15,953 Alrighty. Well, I'll be at the bar where people are drinking. 322 00:18:17,536 --> 00:18:18,786 Say hello to my date. 323 00:18:25,078 --> 00:18:27,203 I think I know you from somewhere. 324 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:29,370 It's very possible we've fucked. 325 00:18:29,828 --> 00:18:34,745 - No. I think I know you from college. - Then we probably fucked in college. 326 00:18:37,995 --> 00:18:41,286 - Another cosmopolitan, please. - And a Scotch, straight up. 327 00:18:42,203 --> 00:18:45,120 Oh! It's the famous poet, Carrie Bradshaw. 328 00:18:45,203 --> 00:18:46,578 Can we not talk about the poem, please? 329 00:18:46,661 --> 00:18:49,411 - Honey, come on. It was perfect. - Hmm. 330 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:51,828 Except the crying. What was that about? 331 00:18:53,078 --> 00:18:54,786 Big took a call during my poem. 332 00:18:55,536 --> 00:18:58,411 It's not important to him. Nothing is important to him. 333 00:18:58,828 --> 00:18:59,828 Guess what? 334 00:18:59,995 --> 00:19:03,120 The guest book person is also the put the gifts in the van person. 335 00:19:03,703 --> 00:19:06,036 Does anybody wanna help me or should I just go stand out in the street 336 00:19:06,161 --> 00:19:08,453 and wait for somebody else not to see me so I can end it? 337 00:19:08,536 --> 00:19:10,953 I'll help you. What street do you want to stand in? 338 00:19:11,036 --> 00:19:12,370 Mmm! 339 00:19:17,786 --> 00:19:20,078 If they get married in less than a month, I'm not going. 340 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:24,328 - Oh! Careful. That one's from me. - What are you giving them? 341 00:19:24,703 --> 00:19:25,870 The dancing frogs. 342 00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,328 Even while on the verge 343 00:19:33,411 --> 00:19:35,578 of breaking the land speed record for relationships, 344 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,870 Charlotte took her duties as bridesmaid very seriously. 345 00:19:38,995 --> 00:19:39,995 Wow! 346 00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:43,411 - Isn't it beautiful? - So, how do we do this exactly? 347 00:19:43,495 --> 00:19:46,620 Oh, we just throw some silly string around 348 00:19:46,703 --> 00:19:48,411 and write something funny on the mirror in lipstick. 349 00:19:48,495 --> 00:19:50,286 and then some people throw condoms on the bed, 350 00:19:50,370 --> 00:19:52,120 but I personally prefer rose petals. 351 00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:55,911 Oh, yeah! I would love to wake up in rose petals. 352 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:04,453 It was all so romantic. The bed, the rose petals… 353 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,661 the bed. 354 00:20:11,245 --> 00:20:12,911 Technically, it wasn't a third date, 355 00:20:12,995 --> 00:20:15,328 but they'd already had dinner and been dancing. 356 00:20:17,953 --> 00:20:20,953 Twenty minutes later, Charlotte worried she'd made a rookie mistake 357 00:20:21,161 --> 00:20:23,161 by sleeping with a man she thought she could marry. 358 00:20:24,036 --> 00:20:25,578 But then something wonderful happened. 359 00:20:26,411 --> 00:20:28,453 Charlotte, I want to introduce you to my parents. 360 00:20:28,578 --> 00:20:31,578 Meeting the parents. Charlotte was back on schedule. 361 00:20:31,661 --> 00:20:35,203 Did you see us? We've been dancing up a storm. 362 00:20:36,453 --> 00:20:37,453 Yeah. 363 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:38,438 Would you like a free lesson? 364 00:20:38,453 --> 00:20:41,120 Oh, my dad considers himself quite the dancer. 365 00:20:41,453 --> 00:20:42,953 Oh! That would be great. 366 00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:44,620 Good. 367 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,245 Well, is she the one? 368 00:20:49,703 --> 00:20:51,411 - You're a beautiful dancer. - Oh, thank you. 369 00:21:00,870 --> 00:21:03,328 - May I cut in? - If you must. 370 00:21:07,245 --> 00:21:10,120 Isn't he something? And he's very smart. 371 00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:12,078 He's pretty much my role model. 372 00:21:12,161 --> 00:21:14,245 He used to take me to his office when I was a little kid. 373 00:21:14,328 --> 00:21:15,786 Your father just felt me up. 374 00:21:16,036 --> 00:21:17,036 What? 375 00:21:17,328 --> 00:21:18,828 We were dancing and he just put his hand… 376 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:22,286 Look, my parents have been married for 50 years. 377 00:21:22,453 --> 00:21:26,661 My dad would not cop a feel just because some girl is wearing a slutty dress. 378 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,703 Suddenly, it was clear to Charlotte that Martin 379 00:21:29,786 --> 00:21:34,203 wasn't going to take her side now, or after three or four kids, or ever. 380 00:21:34,286 --> 00:21:37,120 Did the last four and a half hours mean nothing to you? 381 00:21:41,786 --> 00:21:43,370 The chicken dance, ladies and gentlemen… 382 00:21:43,453 --> 00:21:46,661 Oh darn! We missed the chicken dance. 383 00:21:46,745 --> 00:21:49,120 Excuse me, have you seen my date? 384 00:21:49,495 --> 00:21:52,995 I'm sorry. I had to help Miranda put the gifts into the van. 385 00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:00,536 - So, are you ready to go? - Well, have they even cut the cake yet? 386 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,286 I don't know, but I can tell you how it turns out. 387 00:22:04,745 --> 00:22:06,120 If you want to go, go. 388 00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:13,536 - What's wrong? - You wouldn't even sign the card. 389 00:22:15,870 --> 00:22:16,870 The card? 390 00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:21,161 I'm afraid we don't want the same things. 391 00:22:23,828 --> 00:22:25,370 Things like cake? 392 00:22:26,536 --> 00:22:30,953 I want someone who's going to be with me until the end… 393 00:22:32,578 --> 00:22:33,578 of a wedding. 394 00:22:36,870 --> 00:22:37,870 Okay. 395 00:22:39,203 --> 00:22:40,203 I'll stay. 396 00:22:40,828 --> 00:22:41,828 You will? 397 00:22:42,703 --> 00:22:43,703 Yes. 398 00:22:44,161 --> 00:22:48,370 Single ladies, it's time for the tossing of the bouquet. 399 00:22:49,078 --> 00:22:52,870 - Isn't the bouquet tossed at the end? - Congratulations. You lucked out. 400 00:22:52,953 --> 00:22:55,703 Get us some cake. I want say goodbye to my friends. 401 00:22:57,661 --> 00:22:59,453 - Hey. - Hi. 402 00:22:59,995 --> 00:23:00,995 Big moment. 403 00:23:01,286 --> 00:23:03,911 Big and I are leaving. He's crossed his pain threshold 404 00:23:03,995 --> 00:23:05,411 and he's carrying me along with him. 405 00:23:05,995 --> 00:23:07,828 Everybody ready? 406 00:23:09,620 --> 00:23:11,703 One, two, three! 407 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:21,620 Okay, girls. See you tomorrow. 408 00:23:21,703 --> 00:23:23,120 - Okay. Night, night. - Okay. 409 00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:26,203 Well, let's get our coats. 410 00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:31,995 Some people know they're meant to be together. 411 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:36,245 I knew I was meant to go home and have cake in bed with Big. 412 00:23:37,661 --> 00:23:39,870 Maybe we're more the fuzzy glove types.