1 00:00:47,908 --> 00:00:49,783 Once upon a second time around… 2 00:00:51,533 --> 00:00:54,533 in a mythical land between Carmine and Mulberry streets… 3 00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,700 two mere mortals were having a wonderful time. 4 00:01:01,116 --> 00:01:02,241 Hello! 5 00:01:02,783 --> 00:01:04,241 Como estas! 6 00:01:04,783 --> 00:01:07,158 Gary, this is the gangster I was telling you about. 7 00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,408 Gangster? No, no, no, no. No gangster. 8 00:01:09,575 --> 00:01:10,616 Come, this way. 9 00:01:21,241 --> 00:01:22,241 Grazie. 10 00:01:22,325 --> 00:01:25,658 Carrie, This is Paolo. This is my girlfriend, Carrie. 11 00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:28,075 Bread? 12 00:01:28,783 --> 00:01:30,950 You've never called me your girlfriend before. 13 00:01:31,366 --> 00:01:33,700 Sure, I have. Just not to your face. 14 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,533 Bravo! 15 00:01:49,741 --> 00:01:50,741 Bravo! 16 00:01:51,616 --> 00:01:53,950 Grazie, grazie. 17 00:01:54,366 --> 00:01:57,700 And now you, wise guy, come on, it's your turn. 18 00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:59,991 - Come on, come on. - Me? Okay. 19 00:02:00,075 --> 00:02:04,116 - No, no, no. Not funny, Mr. Sambuca. - Relax, I'm a regular. 20 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,866 - A regular? - I'm a regular. I'm a regular. 21 00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:12,241 I'd like to dedicate this song 22 00:02:12,325 --> 00:02:14,991 to the lovely lady sitting right over there. 23 00:02:17,783 --> 00:02:19,991 When I was 17 24 00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:24,866 It was a very good year 25 00:02:26,491 --> 00:02:28,991 It was a very good year 26 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:33,825 For small town girls And soft summer nights 27 00:02:35,283 --> 00:02:38,033 We'd hide from the lights 28 00:02:39,408 --> 00:02:41,741 In the village green 29 00:02:43,783 --> 00:02:46,033 When I was 17 30 00:02:46,991 --> 00:02:48,200 It was perfect. 31 00:02:49,366 --> 00:02:50,783 I felt like I was in heaven. 32 00:02:54,825 --> 00:02:57,950 Meanwhile across town, Miranda was in hell… 33 00:02:58,658 --> 00:03:00,116 Douche products… 34 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,283 …or its modern day equivalent, the comedy club. 35 00:03:03,491 --> 00:03:06,575 - Are we having fun yet? - Yeah. When does the comedy start? 36 00:03:06,658 --> 00:03:09,116 I've never been this close to suicide. 37 00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:10,991 Not pussy… 38 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:14,033 - I'll get the check. - If you ditch me in this place, 39 00:03:14,116 --> 00:03:16,491 I will hunt you down and kill you. 40 00:03:18,408 --> 00:03:20,491 Alan Miller was a divorced architect 41 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,783 Miranda met in aisle number three at the Food Emporium. 42 00:03:23,283 --> 00:03:26,783 They immediately bonded over a shared hatred of designer croutons. 43 00:03:26,866 --> 00:03:29,116 And I don't know about all you other guys, but 44 00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:31,908 if all I was interested in was freshness, 45 00:03:32,158 --> 00:03:35,241 then I would be fucking my salad crisper! 46 00:03:40,825 --> 00:03:41,950 Yo, Red. 47 00:03:43,866 --> 00:03:45,325 You wanna answer your fuckin' phone? 48 00:03:46,616 --> 00:03:48,866 It's… it's not my phone. 49 00:03:49,866 --> 00:03:51,825 Go ahead. Answer it. 50 00:03:52,616 --> 00:03:53,825 Answer it! 51 00:03:54,325 --> 00:03:58,450 Answer it. 52 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,658 Alan Miller's phone. 53 00:04:05,575 --> 00:04:07,825 No, this is his date. Who's this? 54 00:04:08,325 --> 00:04:09,325 Who is it? 55 00:04:12,825 --> 00:04:15,575 I'm sorry, his date can't speak right now. 56 00:04:15,658 --> 00:04:17,116 Who may I say is calling? 57 00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:20,866 His wife! 58 00:04:23,575 --> 00:04:26,158 Hey. Numb-nuts, your wife's on the phone. 59 00:04:27,491 --> 00:04:28,866 You told me you were divorced. 60 00:04:29,741 --> 00:04:32,366 I'm not really divorced. I'm really separated. 61 00:04:32,491 --> 00:04:34,241 No, we're really separated. 62 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,950 See, this is me, separating. 63 00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:39,825 Yo, Red, not so fast. 64 00:04:40,658 --> 00:04:41,658 I'll fuck you. 65 00:04:44,741 --> 00:04:45,741 Honey… 66 00:04:46,658 --> 00:04:49,491 If they're not married, they're gay, or burned from a divorce 67 00:04:49,616 --> 00:04:51,908 or aliens from the planet "Don't date me." 68 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,075 It's amazing how many of them walk among us now. 69 00:04:54,366 --> 00:04:56,700 Only recognizable by their slightly larger heads. 70 00:04:56,991 --> 00:04:58,491 I asked him, point blank, 71 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,116 "How long have you been divorced?" 72 00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,700 "Three years." Just like that. "Three years." 73 00:05:02,991 --> 00:05:04,450 Guys are such liars. 74 00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:07,033 And 97% of them can't fuck you worth a damn! 75 00:05:07,116 --> 00:05:10,408 He tells me how much he likes me, and boom, I believe him. 76 00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:13,408 - Am I that needy? - Well, maybe he really did like you. 77 00:05:13,491 --> 00:05:15,825 I swear, if you "Pollyanna-out" on me today… 78 00:05:15,908 --> 00:05:17,950 I'm gonna have to hit you with this rice pudding. 79 00:05:18,283 --> 00:05:19,408 This married man 80 00:05:19,825 --> 00:05:22,825 fell madly in love with my friend, Amanda's friend, Ashley, 81 00:05:23,116 --> 00:05:25,200 and he said he would get a divorce and he did. 82 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,658 And they got married and they moved to Connecticut 83 00:05:27,866 --> 00:05:30,116 and he is this amazing husband and father. 84 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,991 - Never happened. - Excuse me? 85 00:05:32,075 --> 00:05:33,408 Urban relationship myth. 86 00:05:33,908 --> 00:05:36,325 Unbelievable fairy tales concocted by women 87 00:05:36,408 --> 00:05:38,533 to make their love lives seem less hopeless. 88 00:05:38,616 --> 00:05:41,450 Exactly. Except it makes you feel even more hopeless, 89 00:05:41,533 --> 00:05:45,450 because this fabulous, magical relationship is never happening to you. 90 00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:46,741 It did happen. 91 00:05:46,825 --> 00:05:49,241 It's right up there with the one about the guy who couldn't commit 92 00:05:49,325 --> 00:05:51,741 and the woman broke up with him and moved away to Kansas or some place. 93 00:05:51,825 --> 00:05:53,491 And then one night, she comes walking home… 94 00:05:53,575 --> 00:05:55,908 - In the rain! - Always, in the rain. 95 00:05:56,658 --> 00:06:00,325 And he's standing there in front of her door with an engagement ring 96 00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:03,033 and he says, "Marry me," and they live happily ever after. 97 00:06:03,116 --> 00:06:06,658 But, it can happen. People do live happily ever after. 98 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,741 It happened to my friend Amanda's friend. 99 00:06:08,825 --> 00:06:11,783 It's always a friend who knows a friend, who knows a friend. 100 00:06:11,866 --> 00:06:12,866 Charlotte, honey. 101 00:06:12,991 --> 00:06:15,158 Have you actually ever known anyone 102 00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:17,741 whose relationship changed magically overnight? 103 00:06:17,991 --> 00:06:18,991 Yes. 104 00:06:21,575 --> 00:06:23,116 Look at Carrie and Big. 105 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,366 Their relationship is totally different than it used to be. 106 00:06:26,491 --> 00:06:27,393 How? 107 00:06:27,408 --> 00:06:28,908 Tell me. How is it different? 108 00:06:30,158 --> 00:06:31,283 It just is. 109 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,075 I can't explain it. 110 00:06:34,366 --> 00:06:37,200 Actually, I can, but you're so scary right now, I won't. 111 00:06:37,283 --> 00:06:38,700 No, really, tell me. 112 00:06:41,241 --> 00:06:44,158 It's just a feeling. 113 00:06:45,325 --> 00:06:47,116 Something shifted, it's like… 114 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,116 Maybe we both know that… 115 00:06:49,616 --> 00:06:52,616 if we came together again it must be for a reason. 116 00:06:54,991 --> 00:06:57,033 What? Why is that so hard to believe? 117 00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:58,533 How much time have you got? 118 00:06:59,366 --> 00:07:03,283 That afternoon, I got to thinking about myths and relationships. 119 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:07,158 Heroes, boyfriends, Cyclopses, divorced guys. 120 00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:09,033 Are they really that different? 121 00:07:09,616 --> 00:07:12,200 The primitive Greeks clung desperately to myths 122 00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:15,825 to explain the random hopelessness of their miserable lives. 123 00:07:16,158 --> 00:07:18,575 Do modern day singles need modern day myths 124 00:07:18,658 --> 00:07:22,408 just to help us get through our random and sometimes miserable relationships? 125 00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:24,658 And what about Big and me? 126 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,866 After what seemed like an eternity 127 00:07:26,950 --> 00:07:29,283 of not quite fitting together, we suddenly fit. 128 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,283 Had the relationship god smiled? 129 00:07:31,366 --> 00:07:34,116 Or was that something I desperately needed to believe? 130 00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:36,991 Are we willing to believe anything to date? 131 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:42,325 While Samantha had little belief in the idea of happily ever after… 132 00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:44,866 she had a very strong belief in the idea 133 00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:47,116 of a smart cocktail at the end of the work day. 134 00:07:49,283 --> 00:07:52,075 Samantha, a Cosmopolitan and Donald Trump. 135 00:07:52,533 --> 00:07:54,491 You don't get more New York than that. 136 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,991 Listen, Ed, I've gotta go. 137 00:07:57,533 --> 00:08:00,200 But think about it. I'll be at my office at Trump Tower. 138 00:08:00,325 --> 00:08:01,325 Good. 139 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:09,575 Excuse me. 140 00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:12,700 I was so distracted by your beauty I… 141 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,783 I think I just agreed to finance Mr. Trump's new project. 142 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,616 You owe me 150 million dollars. 143 00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:20,116 Will you take a check? 144 00:08:20,575 --> 00:08:21,616 May I buy you a drink? 145 00:08:22,241 --> 00:08:23,700 I already have one, thanks. 146 00:08:24,616 --> 00:08:26,200 Can I buy you an island? 147 00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:32,075 - I don't know, can you? - The name's Ed. 148 00:08:34,783 --> 00:08:35,783 Samantha. 149 00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:38,491 So, Samantha, do you come here often? 150 00:08:39,616 --> 00:08:41,408 Honey, that line's older than you are. 151 00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:43,325 You are a pistol. 152 00:08:43,741 --> 00:08:45,825 Ed, you have no idea. 153 00:08:46,075 --> 00:08:48,325 A bottle of their best champagne later, 154 00:08:48,616 --> 00:08:51,366 Samantha had learned that Ed was single, available… 155 00:08:51,783 --> 00:08:54,616 and a millionaire many, many times over. 156 00:08:55,158 --> 00:08:56,866 What's your age ceiling with men? 157 00:08:57,950 --> 00:08:58,950 Fifty? 158 00:08:59,116 --> 00:09:00,950 Factor in millions and millions of dollars. 159 00:09:01,866 --> 00:09:02,866 Fifty? 160 00:09:03,533 --> 00:09:06,408 Well, I just met the cutest older man. 161 00:09:06,658 --> 00:09:08,491 How old, 50? 162 00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:11,700 Sixty? 163 00:09:13,408 --> 00:09:16,200 - Sweetie, is he on Medicare? - I'm guessing 72. 164 00:09:16,491 --> 00:09:17,700 A young 72. 165 00:09:20,241 --> 00:09:22,491 Your silence reeks of ageism. 166 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,075 - Are you serious? - He took me to dinner at Jean Georges. 167 00:09:26,158 --> 00:09:28,325 We got right in, no reservation needed. 168 00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:31,450 I wasn't aware that Jean Georges had an early bird special. 169 00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,575 He's vibrant and powerful and generous. 170 00:09:33,658 --> 00:09:35,950 And he's just looking for someone to have a little fun with. 171 00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,658 And would that include bedroom fun? 172 00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:40,075 We haven't discussed it yet. 173 00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:42,075 Are you telling me that you are… 174 00:09:42,741 --> 00:09:45,408 seriously capable of having sex with a senior? 175 00:09:45,491 --> 00:09:48,491 Well, you know the saying, "all cats look the same in the dark." 176 00:09:48,658 --> 00:09:50,450 It was pure urban legend. 177 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:53,116 Alligators in the sewer, pets in the microwave, 178 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,033 and now an old man and Samantha. 179 00:09:56,366 --> 00:09:58,575 Is this a piece of veal or is this a piece of veal? 180 00:09:58,658 --> 00:10:00,033 That is a piece of veal. 181 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,700 In every myth, there comes a point 182 00:10:02,783 --> 00:10:04,700 when the mere mortals are given a test. 183 00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:08,825 The way they respond usually determines whether they'd find paradise… 184 00:10:09,325 --> 00:10:11,991 or are tied to a big rock for all eternity. 185 00:10:14,158 --> 00:10:15,491 I have a huge request. 186 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,783 I want you to know my friends better. 187 00:10:19,116 --> 00:10:20,158 I know your friends fine. 188 00:10:20,866 --> 00:10:22,116 Charlotte is the brunette. 189 00:10:23,366 --> 00:10:24,866 Miranda is the redhead. 190 00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:27,700 And Samantha is trouble. 191 00:10:28,783 --> 00:10:31,450 Okay, then. I want them to know you better. 192 00:10:31,658 --> 00:10:33,658 They've never really spent time with you and… 193 00:10:34,491 --> 00:10:36,283 you're so funny and cute. 194 00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,033 Carrie… 195 00:10:38,366 --> 00:10:39,366 What is it you need? 196 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,450 I want us all to have dinner Saturday night at Denial. 197 00:10:43,741 --> 00:10:46,283 Denial was a very popular Manhattan hot spot. 198 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:49,700 Apparently, everyone in Manhattan wanted to be "in Denial." 199 00:10:50,491 --> 00:10:51,491 Okay. 200 00:10:51,741 --> 00:10:53,866 Why are you suddenly so… 201 00:10:54,033 --> 00:10:55,408 - Cute? - Yes. 202 00:10:56,408 --> 00:10:57,783 Why are you so cute? 203 00:11:05,991 --> 00:11:06,893 Hello? 204 00:11:06,908 --> 00:11:09,783 Hey. Where are you? I've been waiting here forever. 205 00:11:10,491 --> 00:11:13,033 Didn't you get my message? I left it on your machine an hour ago. 206 00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:15,075 No, I didn't call home. Is everything all right? 207 00:11:15,158 --> 00:11:16,533 I thought you were dead or something. 208 00:11:16,616 --> 00:11:18,491 No, no. I'm fine. I'm at Big's. 209 00:11:19,283 --> 00:11:22,366 You're at Big's? You and I are having dinner tonight. 210 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,700 Well, he got this veal. 211 00:11:26,408 --> 00:11:29,533 You blew me off for a piece of politically incorrect meat? 212 00:11:29,866 --> 00:11:32,283 Well, he wanted to make me dinner. 213 00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:36,116 You just dropped your life and ran right on over to his? 214 00:11:36,616 --> 00:11:38,908 I really can't get into that right now. 215 00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:40,450 You know what? 216 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,408 Your relationship is exactly the same as always. It's all about him. 217 00:11:44,783 --> 00:11:46,241 Could you put Miranda on, please? 218 00:11:46,908 --> 00:11:47,950 Enjoy your veal. 219 00:11:51,575 --> 00:11:52,575 Problem? 220 00:11:52,908 --> 00:11:53,908 No. No. 221 00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:58,283 I'll have another glass of wine. 222 00:12:03,783 --> 00:12:04,783 Please. 223 00:12:06,075 --> 00:12:07,075 Please what? 224 00:12:07,616 --> 00:12:09,408 I'll have another glass of wine, please. 225 00:12:10,658 --> 00:12:12,616 Are you allowed to talk to me like that? 226 00:12:13,116 --> 00:12:14,658 Yeah. I think I am. 227 00:12:16,158 --> 00:12:17,158 Enjoy. 228 00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:19,033 Thank you. 229 00:12:19,491 --> 00:12:21,658 Steve, thank you, Steve. 230 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:26,116 Look, that's really very cute but I'm not really in the mood. 231 00:12:26,825 --> 00:12:29,033 I'm not really in the mood, Steve. 232 00:12:29,658 --> 00:12:32,200 I'm not a total bitch, I just had a fight with somebody. 233 00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:33,991 Yeah, I heard. Boyfriend? 234 00:12:34,575 --> 00:12:35,741 That's none of your business. 235 00:12:35,825 --> 00:12:37,616 Girlfriend? Butcher. 236 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,866 - Butcher? - The veal. 237 00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:42,116 I took a shot. 238 00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:45,866 What are you reading? 239 00:12:47,075 --> 00:12:48,741 The Joy of Bartending, Hemingway. 240 00:12:50,491 --> 00:12:51,783 So, what, you're funny? 241 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,033 Woah, woah, woah, woah! Slow down, that's a nice Cotes du Rhone. 242 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,200 Enjoy. 243 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,200 Nah, it's on me. 244 00:13:07,325 --> 00:13:08,366 And why would that be? 245 00:13:08,741 --> 00:13:11,241 A bribe, so you'll hang out and talk. 246 00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:14,366 If you leave, I'll have to listen to those NYU kids 247 00:13:14,450 --> 00:13:16,616 with the Amstel Lights discuss Fiona Apple. 248 00:13:17,575 --> 00:13:18,908 I'm begging you. 249 00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:32,033 But they did a little more than talk. 250 00:13:32,366 --> 00:13:35,700 After work they went back to her place where Steve the bartender 251 00:13:35,783 --> 00:13:38,491 served Miranda two orgasms, straight up. 252 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:45,408 So… 253 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:48,366 that was really special. 254 00:13:49,783 --> 00:13:50,783 Sure. 255 00:13:50,866 --> 00:13:51,866 Is that your shirt over there? 256 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,700 Yeah. 257 00:13:57,075 --> 00:13:58,241 So, can I get your phone number? 258 00:14:00,325 --> 00:14:01,325 Why? 259 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,200 To call you up and ask you for a date. 260 00:14:04,991 --> 00:14:05,991 Look… 261 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,200 Steve. Look, Steve. 262 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:10,825 You don't have to do this. 263 00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,075 You don't have to make believe you're gonna call. 264 00:14:13,658 --> 00:14:16,075 Let's just call this what this was. A one-night stand. 265 00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,158 You're a real pisser. 266 00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,950 Stop by the bar, see me sometime. 267 00:14:30,116 --> 00:14:32,783 Sure, okay. Whatever. Thanks. 268 00:14:33,366 --> 00:14:34,366 Bye. 269 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,075 Great sex. 270 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:45,325 Three dinners and two extravagant lunches later, 271 00:14:45,491 --> 00:14:47,741 Ed invited Samantha over to his townhouse. 272 00:14:48,075 --> 00:14:50,491 Up until now, Samantha would never have believed 273 00:14:50,575 --> 00:14:52,783 she would consider a relationship with an older man. 274 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,116 Bu there was something about Ed. 275 00:14:58,075 --> 00:14:59,741 Well, how did that get there? 276 00:15:01,491 --> 00:15:02,491 I wonder if… 277 00:15:12,366 --> 00:15:15,075 Oh, Ed, no. 278 00:15:28,991 --> 00:15:31,325 After an impressive six-course dinner… 279 00:15:31,825 --> 00:15:33,825 Ed put the moves on Samantha. 280 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,491 Ed's moves were from a different dating time. 281 00:15:36,825 --> 00:15:39,533 Moves Samantha had heard of or seen in old movies 282 00:15:39,616 --> 00:15:42,575 but moves she never thought she'd experience firsthand. 283 00:15:42,866 --> 00:15:45,241 I used to groove with these cats in Cuba. 284 00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:49,783 What's the matter, Ed? 285 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,616 Can't afford the light bill? 286 00:15:52,408 --> 00:15:55,200 You're fun. A toast to fun. 287 00:15:57,491 --> 00:15:58,491 Mmm. 288 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,241 Oh, what the hell! 289 00:16:02,658 --> 00:16:04,366 I'm gonna lay my cards on the table. 290 00:16:05,741 --> 00:16:06,741 Samantha… 291 00:16:07,658 --> 00:16:09,866 I figure I've only got a handful of good years left. 292 00:16:09,950 --> 00:16:11,200 Oh, no! Ed! 293 00:16:11,283 --> 00:16:12,825 Ten to 12, tops. 294 00:16:13,325 --> 00:16:15,283 And I'm looking for someone to have some fun with. 295 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:19,991 Now I'm aware that a gorgeous woman like you can get any young man you want. 296 00:16:20,783 --> 00:16:23,533 So, I'm willing to make it worth your while. 297 00:16:24,158 --> 00:16:25,325 And speaking of wild… 298 00:16:26,616 --> 00:16:27,616 don't worry. 299 00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:31,825 I got a big, old pocket full of Viagra. 300 00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:34,866 Why, Ed. 301 00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:37,866 That's not Viagra. 302 00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:42,825 Samantha was suddenly living her own urban relationship myth. 303 00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:47,366 The woman who stopped for a cocktail after work and lived happily ever after. 304 00:16:47,741 --> 00:16:48,991 For ten to 12 years, tops. 305 00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:53,533 I think in the dark is sexier. 306 00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:55,616 Could you get that light behind you? 307 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,283 In the dark, Samantha learned that all cats 308 00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:04,408 not only look the same but they felt the same. 309 00:17:04,950 --> 00:17:07,533 Ed's lips were not the lips of an older man. 310 00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:11,075 Ed's touch was not the touch of an older man. 311 00:17:12,033 --> 00:17:14,158 Excuse me, baby. Little boy's room. 312 00:17:17,491 --> 00:17:20,491 Unfortunately Ed's ass was the ass of an older man. 313 00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:31,450 She told him it was a bad reaction to the shellfish from dinner. 314 00:17:37,158 --> 00:17:39,033 Saturday afternoon, Miranda was at home 315 00:17:39,116 --> 00:17:41,616 enjoying a cup of coffee and her New York Times 316 00:17:41,991 --> 00:17:43,658 when fate came knocking. 317 00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:53,616 Yes? 318 00:17:53,908 --> 00:17:54,908 It's Steve. 319 00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:56,158 Steve who? 320 00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:57,866 Steve Brady, the bartender. 321 00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,033 What do you want? 322 00:18:00,325 --> 00:18:01,366 You want your neighbors to hear? 323 00:18:08,075 --> 00:18:09,325 Hi. Hi. 324 00:18:10,366 --> 00:18:11,366 Thanks for letting me in. 325 00:18:11,783 --> 00:18:13,241 Did you forget something the other night? 326 00:18:13,491 --> 00:18:16,283 No, I didn't have your number and I wanted to tell you something. 327 00:18:18,158 --> 00:18:19,158 I like you. 328 00:18:20,616 --> 00:18:24,283 "I think you're an easy lay and I'd like to have sex again." 329 00:18:24,575 --> 00:18:25,991 No. It's not like that. 330 00:18:27,658 --> 00:18:29,075 Have dinner with me. 331 00:18:30,533 --> 00:18:31,533 Why? 332 00:18:31,658 --> 00:18:34,450 I don't know, because we're hungry. 333 00:18:34,908 --> 00:18:37,200 I can't have dinner with you. I don't even know you. 334 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,450 - You slept with me. - It's a different thing. 335 00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:43,325 - How about tonight? - No, I have plans. 336 00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:45,658 - You don't have plans. - I have plans. 337 00:18:45,741 --> 00:18:47,616 What plans? Quick, before you can make one up. 338 00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:50,575 I'm meeting my friends downtown at Denial for dinner. 339 00:18:50,741 --> 00:18:53,533 Yeah? My buddy works over there. I'll meet you for a drink. What time? 340 00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:55,241 7:00. 341 00:18:55,991 --> 00:18:56,991 Okay. 342 00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:03,283 What time are you really meeting them? 343 00:19:07,366 --> 00:19:08,366 9:00. 344 00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:18,991 At 8:15, I arrived at Big's. 345 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,533 One quick drink at his place and we'd be out the door. 346 00:19:21,991 --> 00:19:25,075 I told myself all day it was just another dinner with friends. 347 00:19:25,658 --> 00:19:28,700 But, as I stood waiting, in my new, very favorite dress… 348 00:19:29,325 --> 00:19:31,450 I realized it meant a lot more. 349 00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:34,366 Hey, baby, come on in. 350 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:38,908 Well, you are not properly attired to meet my friends, Mister. Now hop to it. 351 00:19:39,408 --> 00:19:40,616 Yeah, about that… 352 00:19:44,158 --> 00:19:45,158 Do you mind if I don't go? 353 00:19:46,866 --> 00:19:48,950 I mean, I've been out all day, it's gonna rain. 354 00:19:51,366 --> 00:19:52,866 But my friends are expecting you. 355 00:19:53,283 --> 00:19:55,408 Yeah, I know, but they're your friends and… 356 00:19:56,283 --> 00:19:57,616 they'll be fine with just you. 357 00:19:58,783 --> 00:19:59,783 Is it okay? 358 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,533 Sure. 359 00:20:03,408 --> 00:20:05,450 I was afraid if I looked up into his eyes… 360 00:20:06,283 --> 00:20:07,450 I'd turn to stone. 361 00:20:13,616 --> 00:20:15,866 How could I have let myself believe things 362 00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:17,700 would be different the second time around? 363 00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:20,116 I'd never even heard of an urban relationship myth 364 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,825 in which a self-centered, 42-year-old baby 365 00:20:23,075 --> 00:20:26,658 magically transformed into a grown man that you could bring out in public. 366 00:20:33,158 --> 00:20:35,158 They won't seat us till all of our party is here. 367 00:20:35,450 --> 00:20:36,825 How long do you think Big will be? 368 00:20:37,825 --> 00:20:39,241 I'm not sure, he's coming from work. 369 00:20:39,533 --> 00:20:42,408 I didn't have the strength to tell them about my fallen hero. 370 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,866 At least. Not without a cocktail. 371 00:20:44,325 --> 00:20:47,408 I figured as long as I was in Denial, I might as well stay there. 372 00:20:48,408 --> 00:20:49,408 Look at you. 373 00:20:49,866 --> 00:20:52,658 Well, if you want good service, send a bartender. 374 00:20:52,783 --> 00:20:54,783 And if you want a good fuck, go home with one. 375 00:20:58,075 --> 00:20:59,283 Hello! It was funny! 376 00:21:00,366 --> 00:21:02,700 Miranda. Can I talk to you over there for a second? 377 00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:06,575 The gods are punishing me for having casual sex. 378 00:21:14,533 --> 00:21:15,476 Thank you. 379 00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:17,616 One quick question and I'm out of here. 380 00:21:17,950 --> 00:21:19,866 Why do you hate guys so much? 381 00:21:20,408 --> 00:21:21,408 Excuse me? 382 00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:24,408 We just met, so I know that it ain't all about me. 383 00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:27,825 - Wait. Wait. Wait. - What? What do you want? 384 00:21:27,950 --> 00:21:29,866 I just wanna get to know you better. 385 00:21:31,075 --> 00:21:32,825 Do me a favor. 386 00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:38,033 Can you, for one second, believe that maybe I'm not some "full-of-shit" guy? 387 00:21:38,533 --> 00:21:40,491 That maybe I do like you? 388 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,658 That maybe the other night was special? 389 00:21:43,366 --> 00:21:45,158 Do you think maybe you can believe that? 390 00:21:45,241 --> 00:21:46,241 No. 391 00:21:46,533 --> 00:21:48,700 Maybe I've just slept with too many bartenders. 392 00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:55,741 Are you okay? 393 00:21:56,075 --> 00:21:57,241 I don't wanna talk about it. 394 00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:02,366 Nice meeting you all, excuse me. 395 00:22:09,075 --> 00:22:11,325 Guys, maybe we should just get a table for us four. 396 00:22:11,575 --> 00:22:12,575 I knew it. 397 00:22:12,616 --> 00:22:15,158 Big's not coming. Men are shit. 398 00:22:15,325 --> 00:22:18,033 Miranda, what are you talking about? He's coming, isn't he? 399 00:22:18,575 --> 00:22:19,866 I didn't know if I had the heart 400 00:22:19,950 --> 00:22:22,158 to tell Charlotte that "happily ever after" 401 00:22:22,325 --> 00:22:23,700 really was just a myth. 402 00:22:25,908 --> 00:22:26,908 See, there he is! 403 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,200 Hey! 404 00:22:41,825 --> 00:22:42,866 - Woah! - Hey. 405 00:22:43,283 --> 00:22:45,491 Boy! It's really coming down out there. 406 00:22:45,575 --> 00:22:47,908 - You remember my friends? - Of course I do. 407 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:49,533 - Hello, ladies. - Hello. 408 00:22:49,616 --> 00:22:51,158 Seeing Big show up for me like that 409 00:22:51,241 --> 00:22:54,283 shook Miranda's lack of belief system to the very core. 410 00:22:54,825 --> 00:22:55,825 Excuse me. 411 00:22:58,116 --> 00:22:59,101 More drinks? 412 00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:01,616 And just like that, Miranda left Denial. 413 00:23:03,866 --> 00:23:04,866 Steve! 414 00:23:05,783 --> 00:23:06,783 Steve! 415 00:23:12,325 --> 00:23:13,616 Maybe I can believe it. 416 00:23:19,116 --> 00:23:22,200 From that night on, promiscuous women everywhere 417 00:23:22,283 --> 00:23:24,366 would tell the tale of the one-night stand 418 00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:26,366 that turned into a relationship. 419 00:23:26,491 --> 00:23:28,575 And as for Big and me… 420 00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:30,491 So, Samantha, tell me. 421 00:23:31,241 --> 00:23:32,825 Did you ever get it on with that old coot? 422 00:23:36,033 --> 00:23:39,991 That was the night we stopped being a myth and started becoming real.