1 00:00:46,971 --> 00:00:50,555 This is a story about a lovely couple, Rob and Elaine, 2 00:00:50,638 --> 00:00:53,638 who rented a house one especially hot and sticky summer, 3 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,888 in the Hamptons. 4 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,971 Elaine invited her best single friends, Cindy and Janet. 5 00:00:58,055 --> 00:01:01,263 While Rob invited his single friends, Ira and Matthew, 6 00:01:01,346 --> 00:01:04,138 to share the good times and exorbitant rent. 7 00:01:04,388 --> 00:01:07,346 Until one day, this lovely couple had a terrible fight 8 00:01:07,430 --> 00:01:09,721 when Elaine went out for a run and twisted her ankle, 9 00:01:09,805 --> 00:01:14,596 and came back early to find Rob canoodling with Janet. 10 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,721 And Cindy got tired of Matthew's idiotic jokes 11 00:01:17,805 --> 00:01:19,471 and incessant market chatter. 12 00:01:19,555 --> 00:01:22,971 And Ira tried to be there for Elaine and confessed his true feelings for her, 13 00:01:23,055 --> 00:01:24,930 which she tried to laugh off as a joke. 14 00:01:25,013 --> 00:01:28,263 By August, it got to the point where everything was so awkward 15 00:01:28,346 --> 00:01:30,305 that nobody wanted to come back. 16 00:01:30,388 --> 00:01:32,971 And that's when Janet called her friend Charlotte. 17 00:01:33,055 --> 00:01:35,888 It's a really cute three-bedroom cottage. 18 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:38,763 And they're giving us a fantastic deal for the month of August. 19 00:01:38,846 --> 00:01:39,971 Yeah, of course, it's a good deal. 20 00:01:40,055 --> 00:01:42,971 It's haunted with cheating boyfriends and sexual rejection. 21 00:01:43,055 --> 00:01:44,263 We can always burn sage. 22 00:01:44,346 --> 00:01:46,930 Hey, sharing a house with your girlfriends 23 00:01:47,013 --> 00:01:48,013 is fine in your 20s, 24 00:01:48,055 --> 00:01:51,013 but I feel like in your 30s, isn't it a tiny bit pathetic, 25 00:01:51,096 --> 00:01:52,971 like being the oldest kid at summer camp? 26 00:01:53,055 --> 00:01:54,055 She has a point. 27 00:01:54,305 --> 00:01:56,805 My 25-year-old assistant, Nina Grabowski, 28 00:01:56,888 --> 00:02:00,180 has a summer share in Bridgehampton with 18 other girls. 29 00:02:00,263 --> 00:02:01,763 They have to sleep in shifts! 30 00:02:01,846 --> 00:02:03,096 What do they do when they meet someone? 31 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:04,680 Oh, they fuck in shifts too. 32 00:02:04,763 --> 00:02:05,763 Hold it, hold it. 33 00:02:05,805 --> 00:02:08,346 I can't believe you guys would pass up a chance 34 00:02:08,430 --> 00:02:10,013 to get out of this sweltering heat. 35 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:12,763 And besides, the city's completely dead during August. 36 00:02:12,846 --> 00:02:15,305 That's because everyone's in the Hamptons. 37 00:02:15,388 --> 00:02:17,346 Or stuck in traffic trying to get there. 38 00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:20,346 But this could be the last summer that we can actually all get together 39 00:02:20,430 --> 00:02:21,763 and do something like this. 40 00:02:22,055 --> 00:02:23,638 I mean, next year, who knows? 41 00:02:23,721 --> 00:02:26,305 One of us could be married, or have kids. 42 00:02:26,388 --> 00:02:29,013 And then we'll always regret that last summer 43 00:02:29,096 --> 00:02:31,430 that we didn't spend together in the Hamptons. 44 00:02:31,513 --> 00:02:34,971 Charlotte's sweet hopefulness touched something in all of us. 45 00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:38,346 Okay, I'm in. 46 00:02:38,596 --> 00:02:39,581 Me, too. 47 00:02:39,596 --> 00:02:40,596 Fine. 48 00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:42,888 But I get the late shift. 49 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,513 Oh, my God! 50 00:02:44,596 --> 00:02:46,596 Samantha always felt like she was in her 20s 51 00:02:46,721 --> 00:02:48,471 until the sight of an actual 20-something 52 00:02:48,555 --> 00:02:49,555 brought her back down to Earth. 53 00:02:49,596 --> 00:02:51,846 Oh, you have to try it. No, I'm getting you on the VIP list. 54 00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:53,888 You have to try it for one night. 55 00:02:53,971 --> 00:02:55,221 My best friend Jerry owns it. 56 00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:57,013 He also owns the one in South Beach. 57 00:02:57,096 --> 00:02:58,346 Yes! The same one. 58 00:02:58,430 --> 00:03:00,388 I need you to proof and confirm the guest list 59 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,513 for the Hetrick Martin benefit, 60 00:03:01,596 --> 00:03:03,513 and get me Richard Johnson, ASAP. 61 00:03:03,596 --> 00:03:05,721 No, he is not a fag. 62 00:03:05,846 --> 00:03:07,138 No, because I happen to have three friends 63 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,555 he's personally fucked. 64 00:03:08,638 --> 00:03:10,680 You are nasty. You are. 65 00:03:10,763 --> 00:03:12,221 Listen, I am sending you a car, to and fro, 66 00:03:12,305 --> 00:03:14,555 and if you hate it, I'm gonna let you blow me. 67 00:03:14,638 --> 00:03:16,263 I am! 68 00:03:16,346 --> 00:03:19,221 I am serious. Off, now. 69 00:03:20,596 --> 00:03:22,180 Alec, I've gotta go. 70 00:03:22,471 --> 00:03:24,263 I'll keep you posted, okay? 71 00:03:24,346 --> 00:03:25,471 Bye, honey. 72 00:03:26,763 --> 00:03:30,221 I, um… I have personal relationships of my own, you know. 73 00:03:30,305 --> 00:03:31,596 Not with my clients you don't. 74 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,430 And I have my own career to worry about. 75 00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,596 Your career is being my assistant. 76 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,013 You're so deluded. 77 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,721 I mean, you wouldn't even know what's hot if it wasn't for me. 78 00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:42,888 Nina, unfortunately, you don't seem to grasp 79 00:03:42,971 --> 00:03:45,055 the vast difference between us. 80 00:03:45,138 --> 00:03:46,471 Oh, yes, I do. 81 00:03:46,721 --> 00:03:49,055 You stood in line at Studio 54. 82 00:03:49,138 --> 00:03:51,055 I stood in line at Studio 54… 83 00:03:51,513 --> 00:03:52,513 the movie! 84 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,263 I gave that bitch her first job out of college. 85 00:03:58,346 --> 00:03:59,596 She didn't know a fucking thing! 86 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,138 These girls in their 20s, they're so spoiled and ungrateful. 87 00:04:02,221 --> 00:04:03,305 They think they're it. 88 00:04:03,388 --> 00:04:04,930 Yeah, don't they realize we're still it? 89 00:04:05,013 --> 00:04:07,971 No, because the world validates their delusion. 90 00:04:08,055 --> 00:04:09,680 And, she took a copy of my Rolodex. 91 00:04:09,763 --> 00:04:11,013 - Do you think I can sue? - Um… 92 00:04:11,096 --> 00:04:13,138 Excuse me, do you remember us in our 20s? 93 00:04:13,221 --> 00:04:14,221 Dimly. 94 00:04:14,305 --> 00:04:15,471 Have a little compassion, ladies. 95 00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,721 The only thing worse than being single and in your 30s in this city 96 00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:19,555 is being single and in your 20s. 97 00:04:19,638 --> 00:04:21,263 Hey! Where have you been? 98 00:04:21,346 --> 00:04:23,263 I was worried you were going to miss the Jitney! 99 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,346 The Hamptons Jitney is just like the bus to summer camp, 100 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:27,721 only instead of singing songs, 101 00:04:27,805 --> 00:04:30,096 everyone ignores each other and talks on their cell phones. 102 00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,471 Everyone, this is Greg. 103 00:04:31,555 --> 00:04:34,138 This is Samantha, Carrie and Miranda. 104 00:04:34,221 --> 00:04:35,206 - Hi! - Hi. 105 00:04:35,221 --> 00:04:38,180 Greg has been going to the Hamptons every summer for 20 years. 106 00:04:38,263 --> 00:04:39,263 Since I was six. 107 00:04:39,305 --> 00:04:41,430 - You do the math. - Oh, I have. 108 00:04:41,513 --> 00:04:42,680 Thank you. 109 00:04:46,305 --> 00:04:49,388 Ah, ah, ah, easy sister. No need to push, huh? 110 00:04:50,596 --> 00:04:55,055 Four bumper-to-bumper hours later, we arrived at our new digs. 111 00:04:58,471 --> 00:05:02,388 They said this place was shabby chic, I'm thinking it's much more shitty chic. 112 00:05:02,513 --> 00:05:04,388 These towels are mildewed. 113 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,305 Actually, this whole house smells like mildew. 114 00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:09,388 That's not mildew. It's beachy. 115 00:05:09,471 --> 00:05:11,471 Would you all stop being so cynical? 116 00:05:11,555 --> 00:05:12,680 We're lucky to be here. 117 00:05:12,763 --> 00:05:14,263 Ah! Cynicism. 118 00:05:14,346 --> 00:05:16,846 Now, there's one advantage we have over girls in their 20s. 119 00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:18,263 I was cynical in high school. 120 00:05:19,763 --> 00:05:21,055 - Who's that? - Hmm. 121 00:05:21,138 --> 00:05:24,055 It's Greg, that cute guy I met on the Jitney. 122 00:05:24,138 --> 00:05:25,346 I told him to drop by. 123 00:05:25,430 --> 00:05:27,555 And if he asks, he thinks I'm 27. 124 00:05:28,138 --> 00:05:31,013 Evidently, while we had taken the midtown tunnel, 125 00:05:31,096 --> 00:05:33,096 Charlotte had taken the time tunnel. 126 00:05:33,305 --> 00:05:34,846 - Hi! - Hey. 127 00:05:34,930 --> 00:05:35,930 Come on in. 128 00:05:36,013 --> 00:05:37,096 You guys remember Greg. 129 00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:38,346 Hi, Greg. 130 00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:41,763 Hey. Uh, so, listen, uh, me and my housemates 131 00:05:41,846 --> 00:05:43,555 are having a big bonfire tonight out at the beach, 132 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,221 and I just wanted to tell you that you're all invited. 133 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,263 Excellent! 134 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,346 Here you go, ladies. 135 00:06:07,805 --> 00:06:10,471 This has so much foam you could ski on the head! 136 00:06:10,555 --> 00:06:13,471 Sorry, it's been a while since I've pumped a keg. 137 00:06:13,555 --> 00:06:15,721 I love young men, but, come on, I mean… 138 00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:19,180 the guys here, they don't even have chest hair yet! 139 00:06:19,263 --> 00:06:20,763 Well, that's good news for their backs. 140 00:06:22,721 --> 00:06:23,888 Sorry! 141 00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:26,388 Okay, this is really fun. 142 00:06:26,471 --> 00:06:28,138 How long do we have to stay? 143 00:06:30,596 --> 00:06:32,513 Oh, God! 144 00:06:32,846 --> 00:06:35,555 All right, I'm gonna go tell Charlotte we're leaving. 145 00:06:35,638 --> 00:06:37,680 That's another thing about 20-something girls. 146 00:06:37,763 --> 00:06:39,096 They're very considerate. 147 00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:42,221 You can always count on one of them to hold your hair back when you vomit. 148 00:06:44,013 --> 00:06:45,138 Excuse me! 149 00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:47,971 Oh, my God, Carrie Bradshaw! 150 00:06:48,096 --> 00:06:49,805 - Yeah? - Laurel Harris. 151 00:06:49,888 --> 00:06:52,180 May I just tell you that I worship you? 152 00:06:52,263 --> 00:06:54,846 I read your column every week, it's like my religion. 153 00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:56,430 Oh, thank you. 154 00:06:56,763 --> 00:06:58,805 I work as an assistant in a publishing house, 155 00:06:58,888 --> 00:06:59,971 but I'm really a writer. 156 00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:01,081 Oh, great. 157 00:07:01,096 --> 00:07:02,388 Well, we'll see. 158 00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:04,638 Maybe I could send you something to read sometime? 159 00:07:04,721 --> 00:07:05,706 Sure. 160 00:07:05,721 --> 00:07:07,680 You have no idea what that would mean to me. 161 00:07:07,763 --> 00:07:10,555 To have someone like you as my mentor. 162 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,763 Oh, well, mentor. 163 00:07:12,846 --> 00:07:14,971 So, could I call you up sometime in the city? 164 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:16,846 If I could just spend some time with you, 165 00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:18,346 that would be so cool. 166 00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:19,680 Uh, of course, 167 00:07:19,763 --> 00:07:22,513 uh, I'll… I'll be looking at a very busy summer. 168 00:07:22,596 --> 00:07:25,263 I can help, I'll run errands. I'll do your wash. 169 00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:28,221 No, no, no menial labor necessary. 170 00:07:28,638 --> 00:07:30,680 I'll just… I'll give you my phone number. 171 00:07:30,763 --> 00:07:32,346 Oh, my God, this is so cool. 172 00:07:32,430 --> 00:07:33,763 Oh, thank you. 173 00:07:33,846 --> 00:07:34,846 Oh, I'll take that. 174 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:36,138 Thank you. 175 00:07:41,138 --> 00:07:43,471 The next day, Miranda woke up early 176 00:07:43,555 --> 00:07:47,638 to enjoy the cool morning breeze and a much needed moment of solitude. 177 00:07:53,888 --> 00:07:55,555 All right, somebody puked on the deck. 178 00:07:55,638 --> 00:08:00,596 Oh, sorry. Stacy and Holly did too many Jell-O shots. 179 00:08:01,138 --> 00:08:02,930 What are you, 25 now? 180 00:08:04,763 --> 00:08:06,055 Good morning. 181 00:08:07,388 --> 00:08:09,596 No, 27! 182 00:08:10,555 --> 00:08:11,888 Whatever. 183 00:08:11,971 --> 00:08:14,388 That week, back in the city, I wondered. 184 00:08:14,471 --> 00:08:16,555 What was the allure of the 20s? 185 00:08:16,638 --> 00:08:20,388 On one hand, there's great skin tone, the thrill of fresh experience, 186 00:08:20,471 --> 00:08:24,430 and the sense of a consequence-free life full of seemingly endless possibilities. 187 00:08:24,513 --> 00:08:25,513 While on the other, 188 00:08:25,555 --> 00:08:28,638 there are horrible apartments, sexually inexperienced men, 189 00:08:28,721 --> 00:08:31,471 and embarrassing errors in fashion judgment. 190 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,596 Should we fear these freshly minted, 191 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,180 single women as a threat to our very survival? 192 00:08:38,888 --> 00:08:40,846 Or pity them as clueless half-wits 193 00:08:40,930 --> 00:08:43,971 about to get their dreams dashed and illusions shattered? 194 00:08:44,805 --> 00:08:46,263 20-something girls… 195 00:08:47,221 --> 00:08:48,930 Friend… or foe? 196 00:08:50,305 --> 00:08:53,471 And that evening, in my first act as a mentor, 197 00:08:53,555 --> 00:08:56,263 I took my young acolyte to a book party. 198 00:08:56,471 --> 00:08:57,555 Ceviche? 199 00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,555 Oh, my God. 200 00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:04,096 I can't believe I'm out with Carrie Bradshaw, 201 00:09:04,221 --> 00:09:05,263 this is too cool. 202 00:09:05,346 --> 00:09:07,263 Oh, stop, I can feel my head swelling. 203 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:10,221 If it gets any bigger, I'm gonna have to say goodbye to my hats. 204 00:09:10,638 --> 00:09:11,638 - I have a question. - Yeah? 205 00:09:11,721 --> 00:09:14,680 Do you think that 25 is too young to write a personal memoir? 206 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,263 Well, as long as it doesn't deal with incest, 207 00:09:17,346 --> 00:09:19,180 Prozac, or partying, no. 208 00:09:19,263 --> 00:09:20,596 Well, it does deal with sex… 209 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:22,263 Or rather, not having sex. 210 00:09:22,346 --> 00:09:26,513 It's about how girls my age are saving themselves for marriage. 211 00:09:28,096 --> 00:09:29,680 Saving what for marriage? 212 00:09:29,888 --> 00:09:31,513 Our virginity. 213 00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:35,305 Are you seriously telling me that you've never had sex with a man? 214 00:09:35,388 --> 00:09:36,888 That is correct. 215 00:09:37,388 --> 00:09:42,138 Okay, now, what do you consider sex? 216 00:09:42,388 --> 00:09:44,138 Are you implying I'm some kind of Lewinsky? 217 00:09:44,263 --> 00:09:45,471 - No! No… - I'm not! 218 00:09:45,555 --> 00:09:48,013 I'm talking no blow jobs, no hand jobs. 219 00:09:48,096 --> 00:09:50,763 All right, I get it, no jobs of any kind. 220 00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:52,706 You know what? 221 00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:54,305 I think I need to get a drink. 222 00:09:54,388 --> 00:09:56,763 I'll get it. Cosmopolitan, right? 223 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,680 - Yes. - I remember… 224 00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:00,388 From your column. 225 00:10:02,138 --> 00:10:06,346 A 25-year-old virgin was getting me a Cosmopolitan. 226 00:10:06,596 --> 00:10:09,680 The generation gap had never seemed so wide. 227 00:10:09,888 --> 00:10:11,888 - Hi. - Hi. 228 00:10:13,721 --> 00:10:14,888 Have you actually read the book? 229 00:10:14,971 --> 00:10:16,971 - Uh, no. Have you? - Nope, not yet. 230 00:10:17,055 --> 00:10:18,305 Do you know anything about the author? 231 00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:20,013 Yeah, his family has a history of diabetes 232 00:10:20,096 --> 00:10:22,388 and he has a steel splint in his left femur. 233 00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:24,638 I'm his doctor, Bradley Meego. 234 00:10:24,721 --> 00:10:27,555 Oh! Carrie Bradshaw. 235 00:10:27,638 --> 00:10:29,430 Jeez, my doctor won't even make house calls 236 00:10:29,555 --> 00:10:31,055 let alone attend a book party. 237 00:10:31,138 --> 00:10:32,513 Yeah, I've never been to one before. 238 00:10:32,596 --> 00:10:33,888 I thought it might be interesting. 239 00:10:33,971 --> 00:10:35,555 Now it's just exceeded all my expectations. 240 00:10:35,638 --> 00:10:37,721 Yeah, I know, generally, it's just cheese and crackers. 241 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,471 You never see an actual shrimp. 242 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,680 No, I meant you. 243 00:10:40,763 --> 00:10:42,013 Oh. 244 00:10:42,096 --> 00:10:43,471 You know, I'd ask you out for a drink after, 245 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,138 but I'm driving straight from here to the Hamptons. 246 00:10:45,221 --> 00:10:48,055 Oh, I'm… I'm actually going out to the Hamptons tomorrow. 247 00:10:48,138 --> 00:10:50,430 Well, great. Um, can I call you there? 248 00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:53,888 All right, well, you know what? 249 00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:56,805 I'll be with my friends Saturday at Townline Beach. 250 00:10:56,888 --> 00:10:58,096 A big yellow umbrella. 251 00:10:58,180 --> 00:10:59,596 You can come by and say hello if you'd like. 252 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,721 Is this just a ploy to see me in my bathing suit? 253 00:11:01,805 --> 00:11:02,888 Yeah. 254 00:11:02,971 --> 00:11:04,305 - Here's your Cosmo, miss. - Thank you. 255 00:11:04,388 --> 00:11:05,680 - Hi. - Uh… 256 00:11:05,763 --> 00:11:08,721 Dr. Bradley Meego, this is Laurel. 257 00:11:08,805 --> 00:11:10,138 - Hi. - Hey. 258 00:11:10,430 --> 00:11:12,346 Um, so, what if it rains? 259 00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:13,596 Do we pick another date, or… 260 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,930 Doctor, you are persistent. 261 00:11:16,388 --> 00:11:19,930 All right, in case of emergency only. 262 00:11:25,596 --> 00:11:27,346 Yep, now I'm gonna have to buy the book. 263 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:29,596 Nice meeting you. 264 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:30,971 - You, too. - Bye. 265 00:11:31,346 --> 00:11:32,513 Drive safe. 266 00:11:33,638 --> 00:11:35,888 Oh, my God, he is such a fox. 267 00:11:35,971 --> 00:11:38,013 Did you just meet him when I was at the bar? 268 00:11:38,096 --> 00:11:40,971 - Mm-hmm. - Lady, you've got it going on! 269 00:11:43,471 --> 00:11:46,513 That Saturday turned out to be hot and sunny. 270 00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:48,596 While we sat under our umbrella, 271 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,763 20-something girls sizzled on the sand 272 00:11:50,846 --> 00:11:52,263 like rotisserie chickens. 273 00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:54,971 Excuse me, when did tanning come back in style? 274 00:11:55,305 --> 00:11:56,596 Hand me the 45! 275 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,721 Forty-five? Didn't know it went up that high. 276 00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:02,596 You can sit in a microwave and not burn. 277 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,596 It's Charlotte's, but I don't think she's gonna be using it. 278 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,471 It's not good for her 27-year-old image. 279 00:12:09,513 --> 00:12:12,013 She actually put on oil. 280 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,013 Just let her have her fun now. 281 00:12:14,096 --> 00:12:17,055 Come Labor Day, she's gonna look like a 27-year-old handbag. 282 00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:21,513 I'd risk a few precancerous freckles for a summer romance. 283 00:12:21,596 --> 00:12:24,971 And right then, my summer romance made his appearance, 284 00:12:25,055 --> 00:12:26,263 right on schedule. 285 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,971 The yellow umbrellas seem to be very popular this year. 286 00:12:29,055 --> 00:12:30,055 Hey! 287 00:12:30,555 --> 00:12:32,805 Samantha, Miranda, this is Dr. Bradley Meego. 288 00:12:32,888 --> 00:12:33,873 - Hello! - Hi. 289 00:12:33,888 --> 00:12:34,971 Hello, ladies. 290 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,846 So what kind of a doctor are you, Doctor? 291 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,096 Uh, internal medicine. 292 00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:39,430 General, all-purpose kind of thing. 293 00:12:39,513 --> 00:12:42,555 Fabulous! So you can prescribe medication? 294 00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:43,540 What did you have in mind? 295 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,930 Feel free to ignore her. 296 00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:46,555 I'm sure that's impossible. 297 00:12:46,638 --> 00:12:48,763 Listen, I'm gonna go take a quick dip. 298 00:12:48,846 --> 00:12:50,471 Now, you promise not to ditch me, now. 299 00:12:50,555 --> 00:12:51,846 - I promise. - Okay. 300 00:12:56,013 --> 00:12:57,513 Is that the guy from the book party? 301 00:12:57,596 --> 00:12:58,498 Yeah. 302 00:12:58,513 --> 00:13:00,638 I've got to start reading. 303 00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:05,180 He's cute, I'm just not really sure I'm interested. 304 00:13:05,596 --> 00:13:08,805 Good-looking, polite, house in the Hamptons. 305 00:13:09,096 --> 00:13:10,513 It's good on paper. 306 00:13:10,596 --> 00:13:12,471 - Well, you know the rule. - Huh? 307 00:13:12,555 --> 00:13:15,096 Good on paper, bad in bed. 308 00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:18,138 A "good on paper guy" is a guy with great credentials, 309 00:13:18,221 --> 00:13:20,721 who you always end up leaving for some hot guy 310 00:13:20,805 --> 00:13:23,305 who rides a motorcycle and doesn't have a checking account. 311 00:13:23,388 --> 00:13:24,471 I got ya. 312 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,263 Oh, my God! 313 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:29,221 Ah! The water feels so awesome. 314 00:13:29,305 --> 00:13:30,388 You guys should really go in. 315 00:13:30,471 --> 00:13:33,971 You better put on some sunscreen, Georgette Hamilton. 316 00:13:34,055 --> 00:13:35,513 Oh, that's okay, I never burn. 317 00:13:35,596 --> 00:13:36,888 Well, I do. 318 00:13:37,305 --> 00:13:38,930 In fact, I think I've had enough for today. 319 00:13:39,013 --> 00:13:40,680 I'm gonna go grocery shopping. 320 00:13:40,763 --> 00:13:41,763 You guys want anything? 321 00:13:41,805 --> 00:13:43,430 Oh, we should get some rum. 322 00:13:43,513 --> 00:13:44,805 We can make Long Island Iced Teas. 323 00:13:44,888 --> 00:13:48,096 Oh, yes. I love Long Island Iced Teas. 324 00:13:48,513 --> 00:13:49,555 Excellent! 325 00:13:57,305 --> 00:13:59,346 So I took a leap of faith and made reservations 326 00:13:59,430 --> 00:14:02,555 at one of those impossible-to-get-into restaurants for tonight. 327 00:14:02,638 --> 00:14:04,930 Oh, wow, I'd love to. 328 00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:08,096 I just… I can't abandon my friends. 329 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,221 Well, actually, that wasn't an invitation. 330 00:14:10,305 --> 00:14:11,805 It was just restaurant chit-chat. 331 00:14:11,888 --> 00:14:13,596 Oh, oh. 332 00:14:13,971 --> 00:14:15,263 - I'm kidding. - Oh. 333 00:14:17,471 --> 00:14:18,471 How about after dinner? 334 00:14:18,555 --> 00:14:19,596 I got a great little house. 335 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,180 A cute little porch we can sit on. 336 00:14:21,763 --> 00:14:23,221 Oh, I don't know. 337 00:14:23,721 --> 00:14:26,805 Okay, then, how about if I just call your 338 00:14:26,888 --> 00:14:28,638 "In case of emergency" number this weekend. 339 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,888 The emergency being I think I'm gonna miss you. 340 00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:35,388 Yes, you can definitely do that. 341 00:14:36,055 --> 00:14:36,956 Good. 342 00:14:36,971 --> 00:14:38,430 Romantic, polite, 343 00:14:38,513 --> 00:14:41,096 and his very own house south of the highway. 344 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:44,971 My "good on paper" guy was jumping right off the page. 345 00:14:45,055 --> 00:14:47,055 Later that afternoon, we came back from the beach 346 00:14:47,138 --> 00:14:50,430 rested, rejuvenated, feeling almost 29 again. 347 00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,055 Even Miranda was in good spirits. 348 00:14:52,138 --> 00:14:54,471 Hey, guys, I just got back from the market. 349 00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,763 - Yeah? - Fresh corn and seafood for dinner. 350 00:14:56,846 --> 00:14:57,930 Yummy! 351 00:14:58,013 --> 00:14:59,763 Except, Carrie, your groupie can't stay. 352 00:14:59,846 --> 00:15:01,680 I only got enough for the four of us. 353 00:15:01,846 --> 00:15:03,096 She's here? 354 00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:05,263 Yeah, she was asking too many inane questions. 355 00:15:05,346 --> 00:15:06,846 I sent her up to your room. 356 00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,430 Oh, thanks. 357 00:15:08,513 --> 00:15:10,221 - Sorry. - So, I have got to go shower. 358 00:15:10,305 --> 00:15:11,305 I'm all itchy in my bathing suit from the sand. 359 00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:12,290 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 360 00:15:12,305 --> 00:15:13,471 - And then I'm gonna help ya. - Okay. 361 00:15:13,555 --> 00:15:14,456 Take your time. 362 00:15:14,471 --> 00:15:15,596 Samantha, that came for you. 363 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:16,846 Oh… 364 00:15:18,888 --> 00:15:20,263 Oh, my God! 365 00:15:20,346 --> 00:15:21,555 What's wrong? 366 00:15:21,638 --> 00:15:23,346 It's for the Hampton's hoedown tomorrow night. 367 00:15:23,430 --> 00:15:27,096 And the event is being run by Nina G Public Relations. Nina G! 368 00:15:27,221 --> 00:15:30,596 Overnight, Samantha's ex-assistant, Nina Grabowski, 369 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,971 had reinvented herself as Nina G. 370 00:15:33,055 --> 00:15:34,055 I was up for that job. 371 00:15:34,096 --> 00:15:37,013 And now she's using my Rolodex to put together the guest list. 372 00:15:37,096 --> 00:15:40,596 While Samantha was getting fucked royally by her protege, 373 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,888 mine was giving me the royal treatment. 374 00:15:42,971 --> 00:15:45,305 It's not that I don't wanna have sex with men, 375 00:15:45,805 --> 00:15:48,096 I just feel like these previous generations of women 376 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:52,263 have devalued sex to the point where it's not even special anymore. 377 00:15:52,346 --> 00:15:53,596 One summer, when I was 15, 378 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,013 I read everything Jackie Collins ever wrote. 379 00:15:56,263 --> 00:15:57,596 And I thought to myself, "Who cares?" 380 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,013 I mean, is this supposed to be shocking, 381 00:15:59,096 --> 00:16:02,680 wagging one's pussy at every good-looking stud who walks by? 382 00:16:02,763 --> 00:16:03,763 Please. 383 00:16:03,888 --> 00:16:06,555 And, what is it you like about my column? 384 00:16:07,638 --> 00:16:10,680 I have a tiny tick on my stomach, and I can't get it off. 385 00:16:10,763 --> 00:16:11,888 Ew. Does it hurt? 386 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,138 No, but it itches. 387 00:16:13,221 --> 00:16:15,638 Oh, my God, that is not a tick. 388 00:16:15,721 --> 00:16:17,180 Well, well, what is it? 389 00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:22,846 Well, there go our shitty sheets. 390 00:16:22,930 --> 00:16:25,721 Oh, my God, it's so disgusting. 391 00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:27,263 Where's she going? 392 00:16:27,596 --> 00:16:28,721 To the drugstore. 393 00:16:29,013 --> 00:16:31,013 Charlotte really is in her 20s. 394 00:16:31,096 --> 00:16:32,346 She's got crabs. 395 00:16:32,471 --> 00:16:34,846 Oh, my God! 396 00:16:35,305 --> 00:16:37,721 That night, I called Dr. Meego. 397 00:16:37,805 --> 00:16:40,138 I figured it was an emergency. 398 00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:43,846 I just, I have this thing about crabs. 399 00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:46,680 I had them once in college, and the experience scarred me for life. 400 00:16:46,763 --> 00:16:48,555 So, I really… I don't think I can go back to that house 401 00:16:48,638 --> 00:16:51,846 until the mattresses are sanitized and the sheets and towels are burned. 402 00:16:51,930 --> 00:16:53,221 No, I'm… I'm flattered you thought of me. 403 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,763 I'd be happy to prescribe your friend some industrial strength pubicide. 404 00:16:56,846 --> 00:17:00,555 No, that's all right, I think she can take care of herself. 405 00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,638 - Here, cheers. - Cheers. 406 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,346 You might have to spend the night here, you know. 407 00:17:13,138 --> 00:17:16,180 I might have to, but only to sleep. 408 00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:17,971 You know, women are always saying that, 409 00:17:18,055 --> 00:17:19,305 and then, as soon as the lights go out, 410 00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:21,513 boom, they're going right for my pajamas. 411 00:17:23,013 --> 00:17:26,388 All righty, I promise, no funny stuff. 412 00:17:31,388 --> 00:17:34,555 That night, we slept together but we didn't sleep together. 413 00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:35,805 It was really nice. 414 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,638 And I believe it was the first instance 415 00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:40,638 of a case of crabs moving a relationship forward. 416 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:50,638 Every year, one of the local Hamptons billionaires 417 00:17:51,013 --> 00:17:53,305 got down and dirty and threw a big hoedown 418 00:17:53,388 --> 00:17:55,305 full of cowboys and caviar. 419 00:17:55,388 --> 00:17:57,680 It was the event of the season. 420 00:17:58,971 --> 00:18:01,638 We joined Samantha to lend our moral support. 421 00:18:01,763 --> 00:18:02,763 I can't believe it. 422 00:18:03,305 --> 00:18:05,763 There are people here who don't even come to my parties 423 00:18:05,846 --> 00:18:07,680 and they came to Nina's. 424 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,888 Look at her over there. 425 00:18:12,096 --> 00:18:13,721 Beef jerky carpaccio? 426 00:18:13,805 --> 00:18:16,305 I am just so depressed right now. 427 00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,040 Excuse me. 428 00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:19,638 Hey, where are you going? 429 00:18:19,763 --> 00:18:21,055 To congratulate Nina. 430 00:18:21,305 --> 00:18:23,763 I may need her to hire me someday. 431 00:18:24,846 --> 00:18:28,471 While Samantha set out to negotiate 20-something detente, 432 00:18:28,555 --> 00:18:31,471 Charlotte prepared to launch a full-out war. 433 00:18:31,555 --> 00:18:32,680 Excuse me. 434 00:18:33,055 --> 00:18:35,680 Right. No way. 435 00:18:45,430 --> 00:18:46,680 Hey! 436 00:18:47,138 --> 00:18:49,471 Do you know that you gave me crabs? 437 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:52,221 What? 438 00:18:52,596 --> 00:18:53,805 You heard me. 439 00:18:53,888 --> 00:18:55,430 What makes you think it was me? 440 00:18:55,513 --> 00:18:57,138 Oh, that is so tacky. 441 00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,888 Yeah, well, so is lying about your age. 442 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,805 You know, I saw your driver's license when you bought the beer last night. 443 00:19:01,888 --> 00:19:02,873 I didn't lie. 444 00:19:02,888 --> 00:19:04,805 You made an assumption, I didn't contradict it. 445 00:19:04,888 --> 00:19:05,888 Whatever. 446 00:19:06,138 --> 00:19:08,763 You know, I may have given you crabs, 447 00:19:09,471 --> 00:19:10,846 but you deceived me. 448 00:19:11,096 --> 00:19:12,388 That is so much worse. 449 00:19:12,471 --> 00:19:13,763 Grow up. 450 00:19:20,305 --> 00:19:21,638 You are a wait person. 451 00:19:21,763 --> 00:19:23,596 That does not mean that you wait, it means that you go! 452 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:24,763 Nina! 453 00:19:25,305 --> 00:19:28,471 Oh, my God, you actually came. 454 00:19:29,346 --> 00:19:31,680 I just stopped by to wish you good luck. 455 00:19:31,763 --> 00:19:34,096 It's a fabulous party. 456 00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:35,346 That is very cool of you. 457 00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:36,638 Nina, I told you, 458 00:19:36,721 --> 00:19:38,180 I didn't want Martha seated near the hayride. 459 00:19:38,263 --> 00:19:39,430 - She's allergic. - Oh. 460 00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:41,013 Could you please try to keep the young people 461 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,346 out until after 11:00? 462 00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:44,013 Oh. Yeah. 463 00:19:44,096 --> 00:19:46,596 I just wanna tell you, we're all out of country-fried goat cheese, 464 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,221 somebody got stuck with a cactus needle, 465 00:19:48,305 --> 00:19:49,721 and there are people outside with invitations 466 00:19:49,805 --> 00:19:51,013 who are not on the fucking list. 467 00:19:51,096 --> 00:19:52,346 Jesus-fucking-Christ. 468 00:19:52,430 --> 00:19:53,721 You are totally coked out. 469 00:19:53,805 --> 00:19:54,971 You are totally jealous. 470 00:19:56,346 --> 00:19:58,513 What is that? Oh, my God! What is that? 471 00:19:58,971 --> 00:20:01,346 What is that sound? Oh, my God. What? 472 00:20:01,513 --> 00:20:02,721 What is happening? 473 00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:04,305 That is not supposed to happen until midnight. 474 00:20:04,388 --> 00:20:05,331 I know! 475 00:20:05,346 --> 00:20:07,388 This is your problem. Get them to stop! 476 00:20:07,471 --> 00:20:09,596 I can't, they're on a fucking barge! 477 00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:12,680 Oh, my God. Samantha, could you help me? 478 00:20:12,763 --> 00:20:14,763 I need to get everybody outside. 479 00:20:14,888 --> 00:20:17,513 I'm just… I'm totally fucked right now. 480 00:20:17,888 --> 00:20:21,971 Okay, people, fiesta fireworks, outside! 481 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,846 Let's go. Let's go! 482 00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:26,971 - Oh, Nina! - Yeah? 483 00:20:27,055 --> 00:20:28,346 This is Greg. 484 00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:31,930 I think the two of you would really hit it off. 485 00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:33,888 - Hi. - Hi. 486 00:20:37,346 --> 00:20:38,888 I began to realize then 487 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:42,305 that the biggest threat 20-something girls posed was to themselves. 488 00:20:42,555 --> 00:20:44,221 Hey, Carrie, I've been looking all over for you. 489 00:20:44,638 --> 00:20:46,555 Hey. Look, I got one just like yours. 490 00:20:46,638 --> 00:20:48,388 Oh, wow, that's great. 491 00:20:48,471 --> 00:20:50,013 You want me to get you a Cosmopolitan? 492 00:20:50,096 --> 00:20:52,305 No, no, that's okay, I'm actually, I'm gonna go find my date. 493 00:20:52,388 --> 00:20:53,388 But I'll see you later, okay? 494 00:20:53,471 --> 00:20:54,680 That guy from the bookstore? 495 00:20:54,763 --> 00:20:56,846 - Oh, my God, he was so cute! - Oh. 496 00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:59,638 Annoying, yes, dangerous, no. 497 00:20:59,721 --> 00:21:01,805 They were simply our youthful doppelgangers 498 00:21:01,888 --> 00:21:04,055 who needed our compassion more than anything. 499 00:21:05,221 --> 00:21:09,846 And then everything I so firmly believed was promptly blown to pieces. 500 00:21:19,596 --> 00:21:20,971 - Yeah? - Yeah. 501 00:21:21,055 --> 00:21:22,346 Is it you? 502 00:21:23,180 --> 00:21:26,138 Hey, what are you… what are you doing here? 503 00:21:27,096 --> 00:21:28,430 What am I doing here? 504 00:21:28,763 --> 00:21:30,013 What are you doing here? 505 00:21:32,346 --> 00:21:34,305 I just got back this week from Paris. 506 00:21:36,388 --> 00:21:38,180 Oh, Carrie, this is Natasha. 507 00:21:38,263 --> 00:21:40,096 Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you. 508 00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:41,805 I've heard so much about you. 509 00:21:41,971 --> 00:21:43,096 Oh, really? 510 00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:46,263 Natasha's parents have a house here in East Hampton. 511 00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:48,138 We just came up for the weekend. 512 00:21:48,596 --> 00:21:51,055 Excuse me. It was nice to meet you, Carrie. 513 00:22:00,013 --> 00:22:03,721 I'm sorry, I'm just… a little stunned here… 514 00:22:04,430 --> 00:22:05,971 and confused. 515 00:22:06,596 --> 00:22:07,680 Who is she? 516 00:22:07,763 --> 00:22:10,221 Well, I… you know, I meant to call you. 517 00:22:11,888 --> 00:22:13,180 She's a girl… 518 00:22:14,805 --> 00:22:16,846 She's this girl that I met in Paris. 519 00:22:17,805 --> 00:22:19,846 She works for Ralph Lauren in Europe. 520 00:22:22,805 --> 00:22:24,805 So you're just in from Paris for the weekend? 521 00:22:24,888 --> 00:22:25,971 No. 522 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,263 The Paris deal fell through. 523 00:22:30,596 --> 00:22:34,346 I… I planned on calling you. 524 00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:37,138 I certainly didn't want to run into you like this. 525 00:22:37,596 --> 00:22:38,680 Well, you can't plan everything. 526 00:22:38,763 --> 00:22:40,221 Life can be pretty random. 527 00:22:40,305 --> 00:22:43,805 I'm here on a, on a date, too… somewhere. 528 00:22:44,013 --> 00:22:46,096 It's Dr. Bradley Meego. 529 00:22:46,555 --> 00:22:49,013 He's good on paper, you know, probably like Natasha. 530 00:22:49,096 --> 00:22:51,180 Good-looking, sweet, blah, blah blah. 531 00:22:53,555 --> 00:22:55,680 So how old is she, anyway? 532 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,513 I don't know, 26, 27. 533 00:23:02,055 --> 00:23:03,180 Something like that. 534 00:23:06,263 --> 00:23:09,346 Well, I'll see you in the Hamptons or back in the city. 535 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:13,513 I promise to call when I get back into town. 536 00:23:25,013 --> 00:23:26,013 Carrie? 537 00:23:27,388 --> 00:23:28,388 Are you okay? 538 00:23:29,221 --> 00:23:32,388 No, I just ran into Big. 539 00:23:33,346 --> 00:23:35,013 He's back from Paris. 540 00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:36,888 He has a new girlfriend. 541 00:23:38,096 --> 00:23:39,846 She's 26. 542 00:23:40,846 --> 00:23:42,680 - Where is he? I didn't see… - Oh, God. 543 00:23:58,596 --> 00:23:59,888 And then I realized. 544 00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:03,013 20-something girls are just fabulous, 545 00:24:03,221 --> 00:24:06,513 until you see one with the man who broke your heart.