1 00:00:48,701 --> 00:00:50,243 You can count on one hand 2 00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:52,535 the things a real New Yorker will wait for. 3 00:00:52,618 --> 00:00:56,243 My list includes the perfect rent-controlled apartment, 4 00:00:56,326 --> 00:00:58,910 the chocolate soufflé at Le Bernardin, 5 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:01,618 and the annual Manolo Blahnik sale. 6 00:01:02,660 --> 00:01:05,618 After four sublime dates with the furniture designer 7 00:01:05,701 --> 00:01:07,910 whose kiss made my knees weak, 8 00:01:07,993 --> 00:01:10,285 this New Yorker had waited long enough. 9 00:01:10,368 --> 00:01:13,410 So, mister, do you wanna sleep over? 10 00:01:14,410 --> 00:01:15,410 Mmm. 11 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:17,660 I gotta feed Pete. 12 00:01:19,326 --> 00:01:21,201 I gotta get up early in the morning. 13 00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:28,743 Apparently, that New Yorker had not. 14 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:37,368 People always say when one door closes, another one opens. 15 00:01:37,451 --> 00:01:40,826 At 2:00 a.m., the door that was opening was Samantha's. 16 00:01:50,201 --> 00:01:52,285 Can you believe it? This is terrible. 17 00:01:52,368 --> 00:01:54,368 - What's going on? - What if I came in late… 18 00:01:54,451 --> 00:01:57,285 Freda Luftshein in 1-D was held up at gunpoint. 19 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:58,686 Oh, my God! 20 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,285 We have it under control, ma'am. 21 00:02:00,368 --> 00:02:01,493 We have the suspect on tape. 22 00:02:01,576 --> 00:02:04,410 But how did he get in? This is supposed to be a safe building. 23 00:02:04,493 --> 00:02:06,118 It was late. The doorman was off duty. 24 00:02:06,201 --> 00:02:08,660 And apparently, he entered behind somebody's guest. 25 00:02:08,743 --> 00:02:10,118 That's awful! 26 00:02:11,368 --> 00:02:12,270 There he is. 27 00:02:12,285 --> 00:02:14,993 Clearly, the guy came in behind the guy who came in Samantha. 28 00:02:15,076 --> 00:02:16,618 Oh, my, that's terrible. 29 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,910 Who has a guest at 2:00 in the morning? 30 00:02:18,993 --> 00:02:20,076 I have no idea. 31 00:02:22,993 --> 00:02:24,535 So, what did everybody do last night? 32 00:02:24,618 --> 00:02:26,493 - Nothing. - Nothing of note. 33 00:02:26,576 --> 00:02:28,410 I don't wanna talk about it. 34 00:02:28,493 --> 00:02:30,701 Why, what happened, you sleep with someone on the second date? 35 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,451 No, it was the third date. 36 00:02:32,535 --> 00:02:33,743 It was Alexander Lemley, 37 00:02:33,826 --> 00:02:36,201 the investment banker that I met at the Young Art Collectors show. 38 00:02:36,285 --> 00:02:37,993 - Mmm! - And what, the sex was bad? 39 00:02:38,076 --> 00:02:40,243 No, it was good, except… 40 00:02:43,535 --> 00:02:44,701 I don't think I can say it. 41 00:02:44,785 --> 00:02:46,785 Oh, get over yourself. 42 00:02:47,243 --> 00:02:48,493 Come on, sweetie, what happened? 43 00:02:50,035 --> 00:02:52,035 Well, when he… 44 00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:54,660 you know. 45 00:02:54,993 --> 00:02:56,785 Came, orgasmed, shot his wad. 46 00:02:56,868 --> 00:02:58,660 Uh-huh. He said… 47 00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:02,660 You fucking bitch, you fucking whore! 48 00:03:06,326 --> 00:03:08,035 Why would he say that? 49 00:03:08,451 --> 00:03:10,993 Maybe because you were fucking him. 50 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,826 Well, it's true, sweetie. He didn't say it at the dry cleaners. 51 00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:16,243 He said it when he was in you. 52 00:03:17,326 --> 00:03:18,785 Do you think I'm a whore? 53 00:03:19,285 --> 00:03:22,201 Oh, please. If you're a whore, what does that make me? 54 00:03:24,451 --> 00:03:25,910 Do you think I'm a whore? 55 00:03:25,993 --> 00:03:28,743 Well, you have had a decent amount of bone in you. 56 00:03:28,826 --> 00:03:32,285 This is bad! Nobody wants to marry a whore. 57 00:03:32,368 --> 00:03:35,285 No, what's bad is that even Charlotte is having more sex than I am. 58 00:03:35,368 --> 00:03:37,160 - What about Aidan? - What about Aidan? 59 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,118 I don't know what's going on. 60 00:03:39,451 --> 00:03:41,993 Clearly, he's attractive, we're spending a lot of time together, 61 00:03:42,076 --> 00:03:43,535 he keeps asking me out. 62 00:03:44,118 --> 00:03:45,576 But he doesn't wanna sleep with me. 63 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,576 - Gay. - No, he's not gay. 64 00:03:47,993 --> 00:03:48,993 Mother issues? 65 00:03:49,951 --> 00:03:51,076 No, I don't think so. 66 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,076 Maybe his dick curves to the right. 67 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,410 So if it does, we'll work it out. I'll go left. 68 00:03:55,743 --> 00:03:57,243 The thing is, I may never know. 69 00:03:57,326 --> 00:03:59,785 Well, you better be careful, you wait too long to sleep with someone, 70 00:03:59,868 --> 00:04:01,951 you miss the window, and become just friends. 71 00:04:02,035 --> 00:04:04,576 As opposed to his fucking bitch, his fucking whore. 72 00:04:06,951 --> 00:04:08,660 Oh, come on. 73 00:04:09,993 --> 00:04:11,285 If Samantha was right, 74 00:04:11,368 --> 00:04:15,160 I had very little time left before the relationship window closed forever. 75 00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:16,951 So I wore my very little dress 76 00:04:17,035 --> 00:04:19,201 that left very little to the imagination. 77 00:04:19,285 --> 00:04:20,785 Do you wanna take this inside? 78 00:04:21,868 --> 00:04:24,576 Mmm, I better get home. I gotta do something… 79 00:04:24,660 --> 00:04:27,201 Yeah, yeah, you gotta get up early, the dog, whatever. 80 00:04:40,285 --> 00:04:41,451 What's going on up there? 81 00:04:42,076 --> 00:04:43,868 Do you just wanna be friends? 82 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,368 I don't know. 83 00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:47,243 Is that how you kiss your friends? 84 00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:50,285 So why don't you want to sleep with me? 85 00:04:51,535 --> 00:04:54,243 I mean, whatever it is, I'd rather know sooner than later. 86 00:04:55,868 --> 00:04:57,285 I do wanna sleep with you. 87 00:04:59,451 --> 00:05:01,035 I do. Look at you. 88 00:05:03,326 --> 00:05:05,618 But I've been down that road before. 89 00:05:05,701 --> 00:05:09,326 I've slept with women quickly, and I'm still single. 90 00:05:12,785 --> 00:05:14,785 So my new thing is, 91 00:05:16,285 --> 00:05:18,743 I just wanna try to sleep with somebody I care about. 92 00:05:21,576 --> 00:05:23,743 I really think that I could care about you. 93 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,660 And it's only been a week and a half. 94 00:05:29,243 --> 00:05:30,743 Don't people date anymore? 95 00:05:33,035 --> 00:05:34,826 Why did I expect to sleep with him 96 00:05:34,910 --> 00:05:36,535 after only a week and a half? 97 00:05:36,618 --> 00:05:39,618 Had I become so jaded that I didn't even recognize romance 98 00:05:39,701 --> 00:05:41,035 when it kissed me on the lips? 99 00:05:41,868 --> 00:05:45,910 Maybe modern women need a cheat sheet to remind us romance isn't dead. 100 00:05:49,285 --> 00:05:50,285 Romance. 101 00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:55,326 I'm telling you, it didn't even occur to me, which is so depressing. 102 00:05:55,743 --> 00:05:58,951 Is that what 13 years of dating in Manhattan does to a woman? 103 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:02,410 I tell you what it does, it gives you chlamydia. 104 00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:04,201 - Excuse me? - Yeah. 105 00:06:04,576 --> 00:06:06,576 My gynecologist called me today, 106 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:09,160 and my test, which she just threw in for good measure, 107 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,368 came back positive. 108 00:06:10,451 --> 00:06:11,576 Yikes! 109 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:12,910 It's not terrible. 110 00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:15,868 There aren't any symptoms, but it can cause infertility, 111 00:06:15,951 --> 00:06:18,285 so I guess it's good I caught it. 112 00:06:18,368 --> 00:06:21,410 I mean, not that I caught it, but that I found out. 113 00:06:21,826 --> 00:06:23,410 Well, do you think you got it from Steve? 114 00:06:23,493 --> 00:06:24,493 I don't know. 115 00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:27,368 It's the first time I've been tested, so it could be any number of guys, 116 00:06:27,451 --> 00:06:28,910 which is what I said to my gynecologist, 117 00:06:28,993 --> 00:06:31,868 and frankly, she seemed a little judgmental. 118 00:06:31,951 --> 00:06:34,618 She told me I should contact all the people 119 00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:37,785 that I might have given it to, so they can all be treated. 120 00:06:38,118 --> 00:06:39,951 I knew what was bothering Miranda. 121 00:06:40,035 --> 00:06:42,243 It was the same thought that was bothering me 122 00:06:42,326 --> 00:06:44,243 ever since the guy I'd been seeing for ten days 123 00:06:44,326 --> 00:06:45,576 asked me to slow down. 124 00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:48,410 If you're a 30-something woman living in Manhattan, 125 00:06:48,493 --> 00:06:51,160 and you refuse to settle, and you're sexually active, 126 00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:54,451 it's inevitable that you'll rack up a certain number of partners. 127 00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:56,951 But how many men is too many men? 128 00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:59,910 Are we simply romantically challenged, or… 129 00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:01,535 are we sluts? 130 00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:04,201 It was certainly the question on Charlotte's mind. 131 00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:05,493 So, how's your swordfish? 132 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,035 Fine, thanks. 133 00:07:08,368 --> 00:07:09,910 You're awfully quiet tonight. 134 00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:12,951 I'm sorry, my mind is somewhere else. 135 00:07:13,035 --> 00:07:16,660 You fucking bitch, you fucking whore! 136 00:07:18,118 --> 00:07:20,326 So like I was saying, I hate putting people out of work, 137 00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:22,118 but that's what happens after a merger, I… 138 00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:24,868 Maybe I should teach ESL on the side, or… 139 00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:27,868 Are you sure you're okay? 140 00:07:30,035 --> 00:07:31,035 Actually… 141 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:33,910 what you said the other night 142 00:07:34,326 --> 00:07:35,576 kind of bothered me. 143 00:07:36,326 --> 00:07:37,410 Oh, no, uh… 144 00:07:38,368 --> 00:07:39,451 What did I say? 145 00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:42,576 You know, when we were in bed, and you… 146 00:07:46,035 --> 00:07:47,326 You yelled out something. 147 00:07:48,410 --> 00:07:49,410 During my sleep? 148 00:07:50,535 --> 00:07:51,535 No. 149 00:07:52,368 --> 00:07:53,493 During sex. 150 00:07:54,201 --> 00:07:55,243 Oh. 151 00:07:58,285 --> 00:07:59,868 I don't remember saying anything. 152 00:08:01,451 --> 00:08:03,285 I remember it being very nice. 153 00:08:04,535 --> 00:08:05,535 What'd I say? 154 00:08:08,285 --> 00:08:10,826 You know what? It's not important. 155 00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:13,201 I'm sure it was just in the heat of the moment. 156 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,451 Never mind. 157 00:08:14,868 --> 00:08:17,368 Do you wanna try some of my swordfish? It really is good. 158 00:08:18,451 --> 00:08:21,785 By dessert, Charlotte had decided to forget the whole incident 159 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,243 and call it a do-over. 160 00:08:23,743 --> 00:08:25,701 You fucking bitch, you fucking whore! 161 00:08:26,118 --> 00:08:27,118 That! 162 00:08:27,535 --> 00:08:28,535 That's what you said! 163 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,576 What? 164 00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:31,743 Just then, you said it again. 165 00:08:31,826 --> 00:08:32,868 What did I say? 166 00:08:34,743 --> 00:08:37,035 "You fucking bitch, you fucking whore." 167 00:08:37,118 --> 00:08:38,701 Oh, my God, are you sure? 168 00:08:42,201 --> 00:08:44,826 That's terrible, that's a horrible thing to say. 169 00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,035 I had no idea. 170 00:08:48,285 --> 00:08:49,951 I… I just get lost in the moment. 171 00:08:50,035 --> 00:08:51,785 I certainly don't think that about you. 172 00:08:52,993 --> 00:08:53,993 Hey, hey. 173 00:08:55,035 --> 00:09:00,285 Believe me, Charlotte. You are sweet and smart and lovely. 174 00:09:00,368 --> 00:09:02,868 You are the kind of woman I hope to marry someday. 175 00:09:07,451 --> 00:09:09,243 And I promise never to say that again. 176 00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:12,493 God, that's terrible. 177 00:09:14,201 --> 00:09:15,910 As Charlotte was starting to feel better, 178 00:09:15,993 --> 00:09:18,160 Miranda was starting to feel worse. 179 00:09:18,535 --> 00:09:19,868 - Steve? - Hmm? 180 00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:20,951 Can we not? 181 00:09:22,535 --> 00:09:25,035 What, I'm just getting started here. I'm only at the neck. 182 00:09:25,118 --> 00:09:27,993 Maybe you'll change your mind when I'm down around the elbows. 183 00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,493 I can't tonight, I have chlamydia. 184 00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:38,493 I don't even know what that is, but it sounds like a problem. 185 00:09:39,368 --> 00:09:40,368 It's, um… 186 00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:43,910 It's not a big deal. 187 00:09:43,993 --> 00:09:45,243 It's just a… 188 00:09:46,451 --> 00:09:47,951 sexually transmitted disease. 189 00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:50,701 And I might have given it to you, or you might have given it to me. 190 00:09:51,493 --> 00:09:52,743 Ba-boom! 191 00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:55,410 Look, either way, you should probably get tested. 192 00:09:57,285 --> 00:10:00,326 I'm afraid of doctors, I don't even have one anymore. 193 00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:02,076 Well, go to the free clinic. 194 00:10:02,451 --> 00:10:03,451 Whatever. 195 00:10:04,368 --> 00:10:06,868 What's gonna happen to me? Does it hurt when you pee or something? 196 00:10:06,951 --> 00:10:10,410 No, men are just carriers, there aren't any symptoms at all. 197 00:10:10,493 --> 00:10:11,993 Then why do I need to know? 198 00:10:14,118 --> 00:10:17,451 Because if you don't get treated, you could pass it on to other people. 199 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:21,243 But you're my only other person, and you already have it. 200 00:10:22,035 --> 00:10:24,826 Yeah, but see, if you've got it, 201 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:27,035 we'll just keep passing it back and forth. 202 00:10:27,618 --> 00:10:30,451 Plus, I'd rather not sleep with you until this thing is out of my body. 203 00:10:30,535 --> 00:10:32,368 And I've got six more days of antibiotics. 204 00:10:32,451 --> 00:10:36,368 So, will you please just go take care of it. 205 00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:39,368 Just go, get it over with. 206 00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:46,660 Steve's trip to the doctor didn't do much 207 00:10:46,743 --> 00:10:48,118 to cure his fear of doctors. 208 00:10:50,535 --> 00:10:51,826 Drop your trousers. 209 00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:54,410 Oh. No, there's nothing going on down there. 210 00:10:54,493 --> 00:10:57,368 I'm just here because my girlfriend said to get the test. 211 00:10:57,451 --> 00:10:59,993 I need a sample from the inside of your penis. 212 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:04,160 As Steve faced something every man dreads, 213 00:11:04,243 --> 00:11:06,951 Miranda faced something every woman dreads. 214 00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:10,076 She was making a list of all the men she'd slept with. 215 00:11:10,493 --> 00:11:12,618 At least all the ones she could remember. 216 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,243 She started to wonder how she did all these men, 217 00:11:19,326 --> 00:11:21,993 and did her law degree, and became a successful lawyer. 218 00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:27,993 Samantha knew her number was up there, but she didn't know everybody else knew. 219 00:11:30,576 --> 00:11:32,743 We know it was you who buzzed in the gunman. 220 00:11:33,785 --> 00:11:34,785 Excuse me? 221 00:11:35,493 --> 00:11:37,201 You always have guests coming in. 222 00:11:37,951 --> 00:11:40,368 Every time I'm in this elevator, you're with a different man. 223 00:11:40,451 --> 00:11:42,326 That's ridiculous. 224 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,118 This is your floor, ma'am. 225 00:12:10,785 --> 00:12:11,785 Oh. 226 00:12:12,535 --> 00:12:13,576 Yeah, um… 227 00:12:14,118 --> 00:12:15,118 Excuse me. 228 00:12:17,743 --> 00:12:18,743 The next day, 229 00:12:18,826 --> 00:12:21,701 Miranda's sex life was flashing before her as well. 230 00:12:21,785 --> 00:12:25,243 Thanks. Okay, sorry to bother you. 231 00:12:25,326 --> 00:12:27,451 And congratulations. I guess now that you're married, 232 00:12:27,535 --> 00:12:29,868 you don't have to worry about stuff like this. 233 00:12:29,951 --> 00:12:31,951 Bye-bye. 234 00:12:35,618 --> 00:12:37,701 Miss Hobbes, line two's still holding. 235 00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:40,576 Miranda Hobbes. 236 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,410 Hi, it's David returning your call. 237 00:12:43,493 --> 00:12:46,243 Oh, hi, David, how have you been? 238 00:12:46,326 --> 00:12:48,201 Lousy. I'm partner now, and it's all work, no play. 239 00:12:48,285 --> 00:12:49,186 What do you want? 240 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,868 Uh, well, it's kind of awkward. 241 00:12:52,285 --> 00:12:54,451 Well, I'm kind of busy, so spit it out. What is it? 242 00:12:54,993 --> 00:12:55,993 Okay. 243 00:12:56,701 --> 00:12:57,701 I've got this… 244 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,618 It's chlamydia, which is like… 245 00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:01,993 I know what chlamydia is. 246 00:13:02,785 --> 00:13:04,035 Oh. 247 00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:05,993 Well, perhaps you should get yourself tested. 248 00:13:06,743 --> 00:13:07,826 I've been tested. 249 00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:09,743 - Recently? - Yes. 250 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:11,311 Is that it? 251 00:13:11,326 --> 00:13:13,785 Uh, I guess. Uh, no. 252 00:13:13,868 --> 00:13:16,035 - Did you have it? - How is that your business? 253 00:13:16,118 --> 00:13:18,993 You call me after months of not talking, and you wanna discuss my health? 254 00:13:19,576 --> 00:13:20,701 Yes, I had it. 255 00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:22,410 So what? 256 00:13:23,076 --> 00:13:24,868 So perhaps you gave it to me. 257 00:13:25,368 --> 00:13:26,951 What are you gonna do, sue me? 258 00:13:27,035 --> 00:13:28,826 You know, you could at least have called me. 259 00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:30,451 Well, you told me never to call you again. 260 00:13:30,535 --> 00:13:32,576 And now, I remember why. Bye! 261 00:13:33,451 --> 00:13:35,285 Meanwhile, I was still waiting 262 00:13:35,368 --> 00:13:37,493 for the diagnosis on my relationship. 263 00:13:37,993 --> 00:13:40,826 Would Aidan become friend or boyfriend? 264 00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:42,660 Delivery for Miss Bradshaw. 265 00:13:42,743 --> 00:13:45,493 Well, it's about time, I ordered this years ago. 266 00:13:45,576 --> 00:13:46,576 Ooh. 267 00:13:49,993 --> 00:13:50,993 Mmm. 268 00:13:51,451 --> 00:13:53,451 He certainly kissed like a boyfriend. 269 00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:56,826 Don't you have two matching plates? 270 00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:58,660 No. 271 00:13:59,035 --> 00:14:01,910 What do you use for wine, promotional coffee mugs? 272 00:14:03,368 --> 00:14:04,951 But he teased me like a friend. 273 00:14:06,535 --> 00:14:08,451 Oh, come here, you got a little something. 274 00:14:10,035 --> 00:14:11,035 Boyfriend. 275 00:14:11,826 --> 00:14:14,868 I don't care what anybody says, I think Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot. 276 00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:16,660 Friend. 277 00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:20,493 Not as hot as you, but she's hot. 278 00:14:21,535 --> 00:14:23,785 Boyfriend, and liar. 279 00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:29,201 I think Samantha was right. 280 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,186 About what? 281 00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:31,785 Me and Aidan. 282 00:14:31,868 --> 00:14:34,326 I think we're just friends who kiss occasionally. 283 00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:36,285 Why are you whispering? 284 00:14:36,368 --> 00:14:37,993 Because he's still here. 285 00:14:38,576 --> 00:14:39,868 Well, that sounds promising. 286 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,701 He's been in the bathroom for half an hour. 287 00:14:42,785 --> 00:14:43,910 Ew. 288 00:14:43,993 --> 00:14:46,493 All we did was eat Chinese take-out, and watch Zorro. 289 00:14:46,576 --> 00:14:49,785 And now, I'm working and he's reading a paper on the john or something. 290 00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:51,743 This isn't romance, this is bullshit. 291 00:14:52,076 --> 00:14:53,535 - Carrie? - Yeah? 292 00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:55,410 Come here a sec. 293 00:14:56,785 --> 00:14:59,618 I have to go, my friend wants to see me in the bathroom. 294 00:14:59,701 --> 00:15:00,686 Bye. 295 00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:02,243 What did you want, because… 296 00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,243 Wow. 297 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,076 It's like a Danielle Steel novel in here. 298 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,326 Oh, from a writer, I'm pretty sure that's an insult. 299 00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:19,326 No, this is… 300 00:15:21,118 --> 00:15:22,118 Wow. 301 00:15:23,576 --> 00:15:26,285 Well, I thought a bath would help you relax. 302 00:15:26,368 --> 00:15:27,493 You seem kind of tense. 303 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,285 Are you sure this isn't just a cheap ploy to see me naked? 304 00:15:32,368 --> 00:15:33,493 Will you be naked? 305 00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:36,451 That's the thing about baths. 306 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:41,493 Well, this is about you, so enjoy. 307 00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:45,826 I'm gonna get going. 308 00:15:45,910 --> 00:15:49,868 That doesn't make us friends, 'cause I'll be thinking about you naked. 309 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,410 Big tub, little person. 310 00:16:07,493 --> 00:16:08,618 You talked me into it. 311 00:16:20,618 --> 00:16:21,618 So now what? 312 00:16:22,576 --> 00:16:24,660 Now what, what? We're just taking a bath. 313 00:16:26,993 --> 00:16:29,368 Oh, fuck it, let's just do it. 314 00:16:29,451 --> 00:16:31,993 No, this isn't how it's supposed to happen. 315 00:16:32,076 --> 00:16:33,493 You said this was just a bath. 316 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,061 Come on, who cares? 317 00:16:35,076 --> 00:16:37,493 You do, and I do too now. 318 00:16:39,201 --> 00:16:41,326 Okay, everybody, out of the tub. 319 00:16:43,201 --> 00:16:46,701 The next night, Samantha was feeling exposed. 320 00:16:52,035 --> 00:16:53,576 Shh, here she comes! 321 00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:00,395 Good evening. 322 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:01,451 Hello. 323 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,743 If you want to say something about me, say it to my face. 324 00:17:21,326 --> 00:17:22,910 You're bad for the building. 325 00:17:23,368 --> 00:17:24,270 What? 326 00:17:24,285 --> 00:17:27,660 - You have too many visitors. - There are always men in the hall. 327 00:17:27,743 --> 00:17:29,701 I got robbed because of you. 328 00:17:29,785 --> 00:17:30,728 Tart! 329 00:17:30,743 --> 00:17:32,826 I can't close my left eye. 330 00:17:34,951 --> 00:17:37,951 They practically chased me with torches like I was Fuckin-stein. 331 00:17:38,285 --> 00:17:40,868 Oh, relax, they can't evict you for having sex. 332 00:17:40,951 --> 00:17:42,368 Oh, of course not. They're just jealous. 333 00:17:42,451 --> 00:17:45,576 They're a bunch of dried up old farts who haven't had sex since Eisenhower. 334 00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,660 And I remind them of what they can't have. 335 00:17:49,785 --> 00:17:50,993 It might be time to move. 336 00:17:51,076 --> 00:17:52,243 No, you can't move. 337 00:17:52,326 --> 00:17:54,118 You have a rent-controlled apartment on the Upper East Side. 338 00:17:54,201 --> 00:17:56,910 Honey, this isn't rent control, this is life control. 339 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,951 I have to go. I have another date tonight with Aidan. 340 00:17:59,035 --> 00:18:00,020 A date? 341 00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:01,576 Don't tell me you're not having sex yet. 342 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:03,160 We're not having sex yet. 343 00:18:03,243 --> 00:18:04,785 Then what are you doing? 344 00:18:04,868 --> 00:18:07,743 Well, tonight, for example, we're going to a blues club. 345 00:18:07,826 --> 00:18:09,243 Who's singing, you? 346 00:18:09,576 --> 00:18:12,201 Listen, we'll have sex eventually. 347 00:18:12,285 --> 00:18:14,910 And by the way, I got a little preview, 348 00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:18,368 and I assure you, there is no curving in any direction. 349 00:18:18,451 --> 00:18:19,785 It is straight. 350 00:18:19,868 --> 00:18:21,910 Very, very, straight. 351 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,618 That night, Charlotte had a date as well. 352 00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:29,368 And he was doing his best to be the strong, silent type. 353 00:18:35,326 --> 00:18:36,451 What's the matter? 354 00:18:36,785 --> 00:18:38,118 I'm afraid to come. 355 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:41,618 Oh, what are you talking about? I'm close. 356 00:18:46,451 --> 00:18:47,618 Go ahead. 357 00:18:47,701 --> 00:18:49,868 You fucking bitch, you fucking whore! 358 00:18:49,951 --> 00:18:52,993 Oh, I hate myself. What's wrong with me? 359 00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:57,618 That night, Alexander decided to stop seeing Charlotte 360 00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,743 and start seeing a therapist. 361 00:19:00,535 --> 00:19:02,660 And Steve got his test back. 362 00:19:02,993 --> 00:19:05,660 It was negative, like the rest of the experience. 363 00:19:05,743 --> 00:19:08,368 I'm telling you, that doctor with the swab… 364 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:09,395 Ouch! 365 00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:11,076 I don't even wanna swab my ears anymore. 366 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,660 Steve, it's my fault. 367 00:19:13,243 --> 00:19:14,743 I'm the one with the disease. 368 00:19:15,285 --> 00:19:18,160 I'm a big, dirty, diseased whore. 369 00:19:18,243 --> 00:19:20,993 Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about. 370 00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:24,118 Yeah, well, you know what? 371 00:19:24,743 --> 00:19:27,201 I had to make a list of all the guys I've slept with, 372 00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:29,660 and, uh, it's not short. 373 00:19:30,785 --> 00:19:31,785 How not short? 374 00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:35,410 It's… 375 00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:39,076 No, I can't tell you. I've never told anybody my number. 376 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,951 What? I'm just curious. 377 00:19:41,743 --> 00:19:43,368 You promise you won't judge me? 378 00:19:43,451 --> 00:19:46,243 Look who you're talking to. I spent a day at the free clinic. 379 00:19:47,535 --> 00:19:49,743 Okay, it's like, about… 380 00:19:51,035 --> 00:19:52,201 forty-two. 381 00:19:52,285 --> 00:19:53,618 Forty-two? 382 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,201 That… that's not so bad. 383 00:19:56,285 --> 00:19:59,451 - That's too many. - No, it… it's fine. 384 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:02,993 What's your number? 385 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:06,160 No, no, I'm not telling you. 386 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:07,660 Come on! 387 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,160 No, it's embarrassing. 388 00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:12,076 I've had enough embarrassment for one week. 389 00:20:13,201 --> 00:20:14,201 What is it? 390 00:20:15,285 --> 00:20:16,285 It's ten. 391 00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:19,243 Higher. 392 00:20:20,243 --> 00:20:21,243 Sixty. 393 00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:23,743 Higher. 394 00:20:24,535 --> 00:20:25,868 Higher than 60? 395 00:20:27,451 --> 00:20:29,118 A lot higher? 396 00:20:30,326 --> 00:20:32,326 Hey, I'm a bartender, and I'm cute. 397 00:20:35,243 --> 00:20:38,326 men who have had a lot of sexual partners 398 00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:39,785 are not called sluts. 399 00:20:39,868 --> 00:20:42,035 They're called very good kissers. 400 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:44,993 A few are even called romantics. 401 00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:47,576 Well, I can't believe you've never been to the Blue Note before. 402 00:20:48,118 --> 00:20:49,410 You call yourself a New Yorker. 403 00:20:49,951 --> 00:20:51,451 I've never done a lot of things. 404 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,826 I can think of one thing in particular. 405 00:20:54,868 --> 00:20:56,160 Mmm… 406 00:20:57,785 --> 00:20:59,118 Nope, that I've done. 407 00:20:59,201 --> 00:21:01,035 Oh, I can think of one other thing. 408 00:21:03,743 --> 00:21:06,285 What do you think about me staying the night? 409 00:21:08,826 --> 00:21:11,785 Well, I don't know, what about Pete? 410 00:21:11,868 --> 00:21:13,285 Well, I arranged for… 411 00:21:14,118 --> 00:21:16,826 the super's kid to walk Pete and feed him. 412 00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:19,618 And you knew this all night? 413 00:21:27,868 --> 00:21:28,868 Come on in. 414 00:21:34,535 --> 00:21:36,326 And then something weird happened. 415 00:21:36,910 --> 00:21:40,076 For the first time in a long time, I was nervous. 416 00:21:40,826 --> 00:21:42,576 Aidan and I were going to sleep together, 417 00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:44,285 and it was going to mean something. 418 00:21:44,826 --> 00:21:48,535 I was no virgin, but this was definitely virgin territory. 419 00:22:01,285 --> 00:22:02,285 Good morning. 420 00:22:03,868 --> 00:22:04,868 Good morning. 421 00:22:06,535 --> 00:22:08,618 Okay, that's what I wanted, bye. 422 00:22:08,701 --> 00:22:09,701 Aw! 423 00:22:12,035 --> 00:22:13,951 The nice thing about a new relationship, 424 00:22:14,618 --> 00:22:15,951 it's a clean slate. 425 00:22:18,910 --> 00:22:20,868 And speaking of clean slates, 426 00:22:20,951 --> 00:22:23,951 Samantha moved to the hot and trendy Meatpacking District. 427 00:22:24,035 --> 00:22:25,535 - Good morning, ladies. - How you doin', sweetheart? 428 00:22:25,618 --> 00:22:27,326 Where whores were whores, men were women, 429 00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:30,285 - and rents were much, much higher. - Okay, bring it right in here. 430 00:22:31,035 --> 00:22:33,535 Easy, that's my bed. Come on.