1 00:01:00,135 --> 00:01:01,135 Yes? 2 00:01:01,593 --> 00:01:03,635 Room service. 3 00:01:07,176 --> 00:01:09,135 We've got to stop meeting like this. 4 00:01:10,426 --> 00:01:12,510 You've been waiting your whole life to say that. 5 00:01:16,801 --> 00:01:18,510 I have to be someplace in three hours. 6 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,343 Why is your skin so soft? 7 00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:25,968 When Charles Dickens wrote, 8 00:01:26,051 --> 00:01:29,593 "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," 9 00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:33,051 I believe he must have been having an affair with his married ex-boyfriend. 10 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:42,926 - Yeah? - It's me. 11 00:01:45,510 --> 00:01:47,801 You know, you can't just keep changing the time around like this. 12 00:01:47,885 --> 00:01:49,260 I have a schedule too. 13 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,468 Fine, I'm sorry. 14 00:01:51,135 --> 00:01:53,218 Well, let's get those panties off. 15 00:01:53,301 --> 00:01:54,885 Wait, I have to put my diaphragm in. 16 00:01:54,968 --> 00:01:56,885 - I have to be at work in 40 minutes. - I know. 17 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:02,385 Our affair, like our hotels, had gone from elegant with crystal 18 00:02:02,468 --> 00:02:04,301 to seedy with plastic cups. 19 00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:09,260 Cracker? 20 00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:17,760 God, it's hot in here! 21 00:02:17,843 --> 00:02:20,385 It's hot and the windows don't even open. 22 00:02:20,468 --> 00:02:23,176 I hate those little sliding air strip things. 23 00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:26,635 Me, I need air. 24 00:02:27,385 --> 00:02:28,593 You picked the hotel. 25 00:02:29,468 --> 00:02:31,510 I picked it because it's on 56th and 8th. 26 00:02:31,593 --> 00:02:34,051 Nobody knows us on 56th and 8th. 27 00:02:34,135 --> 00:02:35,926 56th and 8th is safe. 28 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:37,426 I don't give a fuck who sees us. 29 00:02:37,510 --> 00:02:40,968 Yes, you do. And I do too. You want people to get hurt? 30 00:02:42,343 --> 00:02:44,551 This room smells like take-out curry. 31 00:02:47,676 --> 00:02:48,676 Hey. 32 00:02:49,801 --> 00:02:50,801 Hey. 33 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,801 It's too hot. I can't do this, I can't do this. 34 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,426 What, are you saving it for your boyfriend? 35 00:03:02,718 --> 00:03:04,468 - Carrie… - No! 36 00:03:05,135 --> 00:03:06,676 You don't talk to me that way! 37 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,885 I'm sorry. I'm… 38 00:03:14,926 --> 00:03:16,260 I'm sorry. 39 00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:18,051 Jesus. 40 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:21,468 How did we get here? 41 00:03:26,635 --> 00:03:27,635 Who are we? 42 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:43,468 - Here we go. - Thanks. 43 00:03:44,135 --> 00:03:46,343 Okay, I have something to tell you, and you're not gonna like it. 44 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:50,218 And believe me I would rather tell anyone but you. But I have to. 45 00:03:51,176 --> 00:03:52,926 - Okay. - Because I need your help. 46 00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:54,010 Okay. 47 00:03:55,176 --> 00:03:56,718 I'm having an affair with Big. 48 00:03:57,718 --> 00:03:59,676 I swear to God, I think my heart just stopped. 49 00:04:00,801 --> 00:04:04,551 And also, I'm smoking again. I'm smoking, and I'm sleeping with Big. 50 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,676 Feel free to delete me out of your Palm Pilot. 51 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:07,760 Give me one. 52 00:04:08,718 --> 00:04:10,510 - Really? - I think I need it. 53 00:04:10,593 --> 00:04:12,885 Oh, you are such a good friend. 54 00:04:14,135 --> 00:04:15,135 Don't inhale. 55 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:23,885 Do you hate me? Say you don't hate me. 56 00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:24,870 I don't hate you. 57 00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:26,801 Thank you. Now if only I didn't hate me. 58 00:04:26,885 --> 00:04:29,426 - How long has it been going on? - Forever! 59 00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:31,926 Actual time, three weeks. 60 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,926 I'm in the middle of this and I can't… I can't see. 61 00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:36,968 So I need you to yank me out of it. 62 00:04:37,051 --> 00:04:39,343 You have to say stuff to yank me out of it. 63 00:04:39,426 --> 00:04:42,926 - What about Aidan? - Yes, exactly! What about Aidan? 64 00:04:43,885 --> 00:04:45,343 What about him? 65 00:04:45,426 --> 00:04:47,343 I would die if he found out. 66 00:04:47,426 --> 00:04:49,176 And now Big's acting jealous, 67 00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:52,218 and I'm so afraid that he's gonna call him or do something stupid. 68 00:04:52,301 --> 00:04:53,926 He's already threatened to tell Natasha. 69 00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:55,676 Well, what did you think would happen? 70 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,343 I didn't think, I just did. 71 00:04:57,926 --> 00:04:59,760 And now I'm terrified that we've messed it all up 72 00:04:59,843 --> 00:05:01,885 and it can never be what it was supposed to be. 73 00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:04,926 It's just a big, big mess. 74 00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:07,385 Okay, take it easy, okay? 75 00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:09,635 I'm just so confused. 76 00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:12,093 I mean, does he only want me now because he can't have me? 77 00:05:12,176 --> 00:05:13,176 Yes. 78 00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:16,135 - How do you really feel? - Forget about him, what do you want? 79 00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:20,676 I want everyone to get out of this without anyone getting hurt. 80 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,135 - Well, that's realistic. - Well, why not? 81 00:05:23,926 --> 00:05:26,551 You've heard those stories about affairs 82 00:05:26,635 --> 00:05:30,468 where people realize how great their other relationship is 83 00:05:30,551 --> 00:05:32,593 and end it without anyone being the wiser? 84 00:05:32,676 --> 00:05:35,135 I don't watch Lifetime television for women. 85 00:05:35,218 --> 00:05:38,635 Carrie, you have to just stop, okay? 86 00:05:39,218 --> 00:05:40,260 Just stop. 87 00:05:40,343 --> 00:05:41,635 I am, I'm stopping. 88 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:43,885 I am. 89 00:05:44,593 --> 00:05:45,593 Good. 90 00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:47,135 Who else knows about this? 91 00:05:47,551 --> 00:05:50,301 - Samantha. Oh, and God. - Not Charlotte? 92 00:05:50,385 --> 00:05:53,385 Oh, please, if the World According to Bride knew I was having an affair, 93 00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:54,411 she'd kill me. 94 00:05:54,426 --> 00:05:56,426 Well, at least you wouldn't have to be a bridesmaid. 95 00:05:58,010 --> 00:06:01,926 While Miranda was trying not to judge me on the Upper East Side, 96 00:06:02,010 --> 00:06:05,843 Samantha was judging the crowd at a new hot spot on the Lower West Side. 97 00:06:06,551 --> 00:06:09,260 It was a typical Downtown male mix. 98 00:06:09,343 --> 00:06:12,385 10% Wall Street, 10% real estate, 99 00:06:12,468 --> 00:06:14,135 10% she'd already slept with. 100 00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:18,385 His name was Tom Reymi. 101 00:06:19,926 --> 00:06:21,135 Excuse me. 102 00:06:21,218 --> 00:06:23,010 A Manhattan legend. 103 00:06:23,093 --> 00:06:27,468 Straight, steadfastly single, and sexually very active. 104 00:06:27,551 --> 00:06:29,801 In short, the male Samantha. 105 00:06:29,885 --> 00:06:32,135 Hi. I'm Tom Reymi. 106 00:06:32,218 --> 00:06:34,801 - I know who you are, I'm… - Oh, I know who you are. 107 00:06:34,885 --> 00:06:36,260 It's about time we met. 108 00:06:36,343 --> 00:06:38,301 We know the same people, 109 00:06:38,385 --> 00:06:39,968 we should go to dinner, blah, blah, blah. 110 00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:41,551 Wanna fuck? 111 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,343 Under a minute, you could qualify for the Olympics. 112 00:06:44,801 --> 00:06:45,926 My place is… 113 00:06:50,426 --> 00:06:51,426 So… 114 00:06:52,218 --> 00:06:53,385 Do you swing? 115 00:06:54,093 --> 00:06:55,093 Swing? 116 00:06:55,885 --> 00:06:57,551 You mean with other couples? 117 00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,260 No. 118 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:03,760 Swing. 119 00:07:04,593 --> 00:07:08,385 Oh, my! So Cirque du Soleil. 120 00:07:08,468 --> 00:07:10,801 You haven't fucked till you've fucked in the swing. 121 00:07:10,885 --> 00:07:13,760 I've always wanted to run off and join the circus. 122 00:07:16,593 --> 00:07:17,635 So, Samantha… 123 00:07:18,926 --> 00:07:20,551 When was your last AIDS test? 124 00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:23,676 Well, so much for foreplay. 125 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,051 Hey, anyone who has as much sex as us has to ask, right? 126 00:07:28,885 --> 00:07:30,926 I was tested again three weeks ago. 127 00:07:31,635 --> 00:07:32,760 I'm good to go. 128 00:07:33,301 --> 00:07:34,161 How about you? 129 00:07:34,176 --> 00:07:36,885 Samantha didn't quite know how to tell Tom Reymi 130 00:07:36,968 --> 00:07:39,926 the only sex test she'd ever taken was the Cosmo quiz. 131 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:41,426 You have been tested, right? 132 00:07:43,010 --> 00:07:45,843 No, but I'm very healthy. 133 00:07:45,926 --> 00:07:47,551 You haven't been tested? Why? 134 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,760 I'm a busy girl? 135 00:07:49,843 --> 00:07:50,843 You know, 136 00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:54,010 I got hard in that club just from looking at you. 137 00:07:54,093 --> 00:07:55,260 And I think you and I both know 138 00:07:55,343 --> 00:07:57,093 what's gonna happen when we get up in that swing. 139 00:07:57,968 --> 00:07:58,968 But, baby, 140 00:08:00,010 --> 00:08:02,260 I can't fuck you or eat you the way I want 141 00:08:02,343 --> 00:08:03,635 unless I know it's safe. 142 00:08:05,426 --> 00:08:06,593 And, Samantha, 143 00:08:07,385 --> 00:08:08,468 you should do me. 144 00:08:09,801 --> 00:08:11,385 I am as good as they say. 145 00:08:12,051 --> 00:08:14,385 Samantha suddenly had to figure out 146 00:08:14,468 --> 00:08:17,260 just how much she wanted to do Reymi. 147 00:08:20,135 --> 00:08:22,926 The pink Post-its are for the gowns I kind of like, 148 00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:25,593 the green Post-its are for the gowns I kind of really like, 149 00:08:25,676 --> 00:08:28,468 and the yellow Post-its are for the gowns I don't know if I like. Here. 150 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,051 Kill me, please. 151 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,718 Just take a sharp object and drag it across my throat. 152 00:08:32,801 --> 00:08:35,426 Stop. Miranda, you take Modern Bride. 153 00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:37,718 Samantha. New York Bride. 154 00:08:37,801 --> 00:08:39,510 And I'll take what, annoying bride? 155 00:08:39,593 --> 00:08:42,551 Here, Carrie. Page 211, pink Post-it, tell me what you think. 156 00:08:42,635 --> 00:08:45,301 - Okey dokey. - Ooh! Cute purse. 157 00:08:45,385 --> 00:08:49,010 No purses. There's no time for purses. This is gown-specific. 158 00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,218 What's your theme again, a Nazi wedding? 159 00:08:51,301 --> 00:08:52,510 Carrie, page 211? 160 00:08:52,593 --> 00:08:55,093 Um, it's pretty. I like the flowers in the back. 161 00:08:55,176 --> 00:08:57,510 Me too. And I like that old-fashioned satin bow. 162 00:08:57,593 --> 00:08:59,635 Have you all had an AIDS test? 163 00:09:01,635 --> 00:09:03,260 Good morning. Where did that come from? 164 00:09:03,968 --> 00:09:06,468 I just met this very hot guy, 165 00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:08,718 and he won't sleep with me unless I have a test. 166 00:09:09,093 --> 00:09:12,176 Samantha, we're looking at wedding gowns. 167 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,426 Could you please not talk about AIDS right now? 168 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:16,301 Wait a minute. You've never had an HIV test? 169 00:09:16,385 --> 00:09:18,176 No. Have you? 170 00:09:18,676 --> 00:09:19,676 Two. 171 00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:21,426 Three. 172 00:09:22,093 --> 00:09:24,051 How do we feel about opera-length gloves? 173 00:09:24,718 --> 00:09:27,510 Samantha, how can you not have had an AIDS test? 174 00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:29,801 She doesn't mean that the way it sounds. It's just… 175 00:09:31,176 --> 00:09:32,635 Well, why not, sweetie? 176 00:09:33,135 --> 00:09:35,051 I always practice safe sex. 177 00:09:37,468 --> 00:09:39,051 All right, I'm terrified. 178 00:09:39,551 --> 00:09:42,176 - What if I have it? - You don't have it. 179 00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:45,385 Sometimes it takes me a really long time to get over a cold. 180 00:09:45,468 --> 00:09:47,343 That's not AIDS, that's central air conditioning. 181 00:09:47,426 --> 00:09:49,426 Just go and get it over with. The test is nothing. 182 00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:51,051 The worst part is waiting for the results. 183 00:09:51,135 --> 00:09:53,676 Really. And then they come out with the results 184 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,176 and they motion to certain people 185 00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:58,218 and they take them into this little room and you know the news ain't good. 186 00:09:58,301 --> 00:10:00,051 I just sat there the entire time praying, 187 00:10:00,135 --> 00:10:02,135 "Please don't take me in that little room." 188 00:10:02,718 --> 00:10:07,760 There are 1,400 gowns in this magazine and I have only seen 600 of them. 189 00:10:07,843 --> 00:10:08,745 I need help. 190 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:09,661 Okay, listen. 191 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,926 You need to chill the fuck out and hire yourself a stylist. 192 00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:14,343 - A stylist? - Some little minion to run around town 193 00:10:14,426 --> 00:10:15,426 and do your dress bidding. 194 00:10:15,510 --> 00:10:17,718 I can hire someone to do that for me? 195 00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:21,135 Oh, honey, this is New York City, you can hire someone to do anything. 196 00:10:21,218 --> 00:10:22,468 I'll fax you some names. 197 00:10:22,551 --> 00:10:25,010 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. 198 00:10:25,093 --> 00:10:27,468 Now, if I could only hire someone to take that damn test. 199 00:10:29,385 --> 00:10:31,885 Later that night, I got to thinking about safe sex. 200 00:10:32,343 --> 00:10:34,885 Odd, how only when our physical life is at risk 201 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:38,135 do we follow certain guidelines to protect ourselves. 202 00:10:38,218 --> 00:10:40,176 But what about our emotional lives? 203 00:10:40,968 --> 00:10:43,593 Wouldn't it be nice if there was a little pamphlet to warn us 204 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:47,676 what unsafe behavior might be high-risk to ourselves or our relationships? 205 00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:51,885 And even if you take all the precautions and emotionally try to protect yourself, 206 00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:55,301 when you crawl in bed with someone, 207 00:10:55,885 --> 00:10:57,760 is sex ever safe? 208 00:10:58,301 --> 00:11:01,343 Yeah, I know, but that's not my problem. All right. 209 00:11:01,426 --> 00:11:03,093 The next day, on her way back to work, 210 00:11:03,176 --> 00:11:06,593 Miranda was about to experience a different type of high-risk behavior. 211 00:11:06,676 --> 00:11:07,676 Eat me. 212 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:09,968 Excuse me? 213 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,760 Eat me. 214 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,385 Miranda was furious. 215 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,801 It was bad enough she had just lost a case, 216 00:11:19,885 --> 00:11:22,676 but now she was being harassed by a sandwich? 217 00:11:24,218 --> 00:11:26,426 You want pasta, you go to Little Italy. 218 00:11:26,510 --> 00:11:28,635 You want wedding, you go Wang. 219 00:11:28,718 --> 00:11:30,426 You want the perfect wedding dress fast, 220 00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,801 go to Anthony Marantino, stylist. 221 00:11:32,885 --> 00:11:34,218 Where is that salesgirl? 222 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,760 For these prices, we should be pulling her nose out of our asses. 223 00:11:39,551 --> 00:11:41,968 Hello! Someone! Let's go! 224 00:11:42,051 --> 00:11:43,551 Charlotte was thrilled. 225 00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:46,968 Anthony was like the pushy Italian mother she never had. 226 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,093 Go, go, go! 227 00:11:52,635 --> 00:11:54,301 Oh, I love them all. 228 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:55,760 Char… 229 00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:02,551 Duchess satin with the lace appliqué. 230 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,176 I think the white is too white. 231 00:12:08,676 --> 00:12:10,051 No, but with your skin tone… 232 00:12:10,135 --> 00:12:11,885 Hates it! Move on. 233 00:12:13,635 --> 00:12:16,426 The charmeuse strapless with the net overlay. 234 00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:23,176 Hates it! 235 00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,510 Good beadwork, though. 236 00:12:26,635 --> 00:12:29,218 None of these are it. None of them at all. None of them. 237 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,135 You're dragging! 238 00:12:33,885 --> 00:12:35,426 I hope she doesn't think I'm a bitch. 239 00:12:36,385 --> 00:12:38,676 She's not paid to think, she's paid to make you happy. 240 00:12:39,135 --> 00:12:41,551 It's just that I've been imagining my wedding dress 241 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:44,510 ever since I was a little girl, and I want it to be just perfect. 242 00:12:44,593 --> 00:12:48,218 Char, not for nothing, I've done this a million times. 243 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,301 Don't worry. 244 00:12:49,843 --> 00:12:51,760 You'll know the right dress when you see it. 245 00:12:55,093 --> 00:12:56,093 Anthony. 246 00:12:57,426 --> 00:12:58,593 Char… 247 00:12:59,676 --> 00:13:00,676 That's it. 248 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:07,343 And across town, Samantha felt as though she might cry as well. 249 00:13:07,926 --> 00:13:09,718 Have you had an HIV test before? 250 00:13:10,301 --> 00:13:11,301 No. 251 00:13:11,801 --> 00:13:13,426 And why are you taking this test? 252 00:13:14,468 --> 00:13:15,468 I… 253 00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:17,260 feel… 254 00:13:18,551 --> 00:13:19,760 you know, it's, um… 255 00:13:19,843 --> 00:13:21,260 Are you feeling all right? 256 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:24,885 - I'm sorry, I'm really nervous. - Try to relax. 257 00:13:24,968 --> 00:13:26,635 There's just a couple of routine questions, 258 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:27,718 nothing to be alarmed about. 259 00:13:28,218 --> 00:13:30,801 Okay. Thanks. 260 00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:33,218 Now… Do you have sex? 261 00:13:33,301 --> 00:13:34,301 Yes. 262 00:13:35,135 --> 00:13:37,635 Do you have oral sex? Give? Receive? 263 00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:39,718 Yes, yes, yes. 264 00:13:40,676 --> 00:13:41,801 Do you have anal sex? 265 00:13:42,468 --> 00:13:43,468 Yes. 266 00:13:44,218 --> 00:13:45,218 Do you swallow? 267 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,051 Only when surprised. 268 00:13:48,510 --> 00:13:49,676 Do you use condoms? 269 00:13:50,135 --> 00:13:51,135 Yes. 270 00:13:51,218 --> 00:13:52,301 What kind of condoms? 271 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,135 Trojan, Lifestyles, Sheik, Wet N' Wild… 272 00:13:56,218 --> 00:13:59,385 No, I meant latex, lambskin? 273 00:13:59,468 --> 00:14:01,135 Oh, yes, yes. 274 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,510 How many sexual partners have you had? 275 00:14:12,135 --> 00:14:13,218 I'm counting. 276 00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:19,968 Um, this year? 277 00:14:20,301 --> 00:14:22,926 While Samantha tried to remember her sexual past, 278 00:14:23,468 --> 00:14:26,260 I came face to face with my sexual present. 279 00:14:27,385 --> 00:14:29,468 Mmm… Mmm… 280 00:14:29,551 --> 00:14:30,635 Stop. 281 00:14:31,301 --> 00:14:32,510 Stop what? 282 00:14:32,593 --> 00:14:34,176 You're making that sound. 283 00:14:34,926 --> 00:14:37,801 That "mmm-mmm" kissing sound. 284 00:14:38,718 --> 00:14:39,885 It's annoying. 285 00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:43,510 That's a sound I make, I guess. 286 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,801 Come here. I'll try not to do it anymore. 287 00:14:54,718 --> 00:14:56,010 Look, Ma, no sound. 288 00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:03,260 Mmm… 289 00:15:07,051 --> 00:15:09,593 I can't breathe. I can't breathe! 290 00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:16,801 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 291 00:15:21,468 --> 00:15:22,468 Hey. 292 00:15:23,301 --> 00:15:24,968 Don't go, don't go. 293 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,051 You know, I just, I don't… I don't get it. 294 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,718 You used to like that sound I make. 295 00:15:29,801 --> 00:15:31,385 I love that sound. 296 00:15:37,218 --> 00:15:38,218 Where are you going? 297 00:15:38,260 --> 00:15:40,510 I'm going to go home. I need a little time. 298 00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:45,676 I'm just in a weird place right now, but I'll be out of it soon, I promise. 299 00:15:48,926 --> 00:15:49,926 I'm sorry. 300 00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:55,843 Say it's okay. 301 00:15:56,926 --> 00:15:58,010 It's okay. 302 00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:01,828 What can I do? 303 00:16:01,843 --> 00:16:05,051 Nothing, it's me, it's all me. 304 00:16:06,135 --> 00:16:08,926 I just need time to figure it out. 305 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,926 Maybe I'll give you a little room to do that. 306 00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:13,260 You're not saying that in a bad way, right? 307 00:16:15,718 --> 00:16:16,718 No. 308 00:16:18,385 --> 00:16:19,593 I'll be right downtown. 309 00:16:24,218 --> 00:16:25,218 Hey, buddy. 310 00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:27,385 Call me later? 311 00:16:27,926 --> 00:16:29,010 It's 1:00 in the morning. 312 00:16:29,676 --> 00:16:30,843 I'll call you tomorrow. 313 00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:33,468 Make the noise. 314 00:16:33,551 --> 00:16:34,926 Please make the noise. 315 00:16:35,968 --> 00:16:37,135 Mmm. 316 00:16:48,343 --> 00:16:50,176 Good night, nut. 317 00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:51,926 I'm sorry. 318 00:16:54,468 --> 00:16:56,510 I didn't know what I was doing, 319 00:16:56,593 --> 00:17:01,260 but I was pretty sure I had just entered high-risk relationship behavior. 320 00:17:03,968 --> 00:17:04,968 Eat me. 321 00:17:05,051 --> 00:17:06,510 Three days later, Miranda had finally 322 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,343 gotten her fill of the sandwich. 323 00:17:08,926 --> 00:17:10,051 Okay, that's it. 324 00:17:10,135 --> 00:17:12,010 You're not allowed to harass women like that. 325 00:17:12,093 --> 00:17:13,676 Eat me. 326 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,885 We'll see about that. 327 00:17:17,593 --> 00:17:18,968 Welcome to Blimpie, how may I help you? 328 00:17:20,301 --> 00:17:21,426 Hi. 329 00:17:21,510 --> 00:17:23,135 I'd like to speak to the manager, please. 330 00:17:23,218 --> 00:17:24,218 Yeah, that's me. 331 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,426 Okay, then, listen. 332 00:17:25,510 --> 00:17:26,801 That sandwich out front 333 00:17:26,885 --> 00:17:29,593 is saying sexually explicit things to women as they walk by. 334 00:17:30,010 --> 00:17:31,510 - What'd he say? - "Eat me." 335 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,510 Yeah, he's a sandwich. 336 00:17:33,593 --> 00:17:35,468 No, he didn't say it in the sandwich way, 337 00:17:35,551 --> 00:17:38,010 he said it in the sexual harassing way. 338 00:17:38,093 --> 00:17:40,051 Lady, he's a sandwich. 339 00:17:46,218 --> 00:17:47,120 Eat me. 340 00:17:47,135 --> 00:17:49,301 Oh, you're so brave inside your sandwich! 341 00:17:51,426 --> 00:17:53,135 And then, Miranda glimpsed just enough 342 00:17:53,218 --> 00:17:58,135 of his full lips and shiny white teeth to stop thinking about the sandwich 343 00:17:58,218 --> 00:18:00,718 and start wondering about the man inside the bun. 344 00:18:01,843 --> 00:18:04,010 I can't stop thinking about him. 345 00:18:04,468 --> 00:18:06,718 You're telling me you're turned on by a sandwich? 346 00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:08,301 Well, I… 347 00:18:08,385 --> 00:18:10,343 I think it's the fact that I can't see him. 348 00:18:10,426 --> 00:18:12,343 It's dangerous or something. 349 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,468 I think that is one fresh sandwich. 350 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:17,968 His voice is so sexy, but he's probably a troll. 351 00:18:18,051 --> 00:18:21,510 I mean, any man who propositions a woman from inside a big sandwich 352 00:18:21,593 --> 00:18:23,301 has got to be a troll, right? 353 00:18:23,385 --> 00:18:24,385 I don't know. 354 00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:26,010 You think he's white meat? 355 00:18:31,218 --> 00:18:32,260 Oh, wow. 356 00:18:32,343 --> 00:18:34,426 That's the first laugh I've had in weeks. 357 00:18:34,510 --> 00:18:36,426 Thank the sandwich for me when you're having sex with him, huh? 358 00:18:36,510 --> 00:18:39,468 I… I can't have sex with a sandwich. 359 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:41,760 Can I? 360 00:18:41,843 --> 00:18:44,010 Well, I never thought I'd have sex with a married ex. 361 00:18:44,093 --> 00:18:45,593 Can a hoagie be that far behind? 362 00:18:47,301 --> 00:18:48,510 Oh, Miranda. 363 00:18:49,426 --> 00:18:50,760 What the hell am I gonna do? 364 00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:59,051 As Samantha sat and waited for her test results, 365 00:18:59,135 --> 00:19:01,218 she had one thought over and over. 366 00:19:01,676 --> 00:19:04,218 "Please, don't let them take me into that little room." 367 00:19:04,301 --> 00:19:06,885 Miss Jones, I've got your results. Please come with me. 368 00:19:15,176 --> 00:19:16,593 Samantha began to realize 369 00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:19,010 she was being taken into that little room. 370 00:19:22,218 --> 00:19:24,010 She was perfectly healthy. 371 00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:27,843 The nurse just wanted a quiet place to lecture her on safe sex practices. 372 00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:34,593 Later that week, somehow I found myself back at the corner of 56th and safe. 373 00:19:38,718 --> 00:19:39,718 How much? 374 00:19:40,468 --> 00:19:41,468 Excuse me? 375 00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:43,426 I see you here before. 376 00:19:45,135 --> 00:19:46,635 For sex. How much? 377 00:19:50,343 --> 00:19:51,551 All right, that's it, I'm out of here. 378 00:19:51,635 --> 00:19:53,843 That Japanese businessman thinks I'm a hooker. 379 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,343 Wait a minute. Carrie! 380 00:20:02,551 --> 00:20:03,551 Carrie? 381 00:20:03,968 --> 00:20:06,010 Oh my God. What are you doing in this neighborhood? 382 00:20:06,093 --> 00:20:08,051 Carrie, can we… 383 00:20:13,385 --> 00:20:14,385 Hey. 384 00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:18,468 You know, uh, I was doing business in the area 385 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,135 and we kind of bumped into each other. 386 00:20:20,676 --> 00:20:21,843 Charlotte, how are you? 387 00:20:22,551 --> 00:20:25,760 I just checked on my wedding dress. It's at a tailor and, uh… 388 00:20:25,843 --> 00:20:28,551 - Charlotte… - I better go. 389 00:20:28,635 --> 00:20:29,843 Wait, Charlotte. 390 00:20:32,718 --> 00:20:34,051 Well, that was that, 391 00:20:34,135 --> 00:20:35,468 Now nowhere was safe. 392 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,760 Not even 56th and 8th. 393 00:20:40,801 --> 00:20:43,010 It was a force bigger than me, like… 394 00:20:43,801 --> 00:20:45,843 Niagara Falls or something, you know? 395 00:20:45,926 --> 00:20:48,301 No, I don't know. He's married. 396 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,385 I know he's married. 397 00:20:50,468 --> 00:20:53,051 That makes you the other woman. You're the other woman. 398 00:20:53,135 --> 00:20:54,801 I am not the other woman. 399 00:20:55,385 --> 00:20:56,843 I'm not. I mean… 400 00:20:57,426 --> 00:20:58,551 I know I am, but… 401 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,385 I am not that woman. 402 00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:04,051 Please, Charlotte, I feel bad enough already. 403 00:21:04,135 --> 00:21:06,218 Good, you should feel bad. 404 00:21:06,301 --> 00:21:08,385 Do you ever think about how she'd feel if she found out? 405 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:09,843 Yes, I think about it all the time. 406 00:21:09,926 --> 00:21:11,093 No, you don't. 407 00:21:11,801 --> 00:21:13,843 You think about what would happen to you if she found out. 408 00:21:13,926 --> 00:21:15,260 You don't think about her. 409 00:21:15,343 --> 00:21:18,593 She's just the idiot wife. You don't know anything about her. 410 00:21:18,676 --> 00:21:20,926 Okay, in a minute, I'm gonna suffocate myself in this bubble wrap. 411 00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:22,760 This isn't a joke, Carrie. 412 00:21:23,426 --> 00:21:25,926 They took vows. Vows he broke. 413 00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:27,718 I'm getting married in three weeks. 414 00:21:27,801 --> 00:21:29,426 How would you feel if someone did this to me? 415 00:21:31,468 --> 00:21:32,468 I would kill them. 416 00:21:36,218 --> 00:21:37,760 How could you do this? 417 00:21:37,843 --> 00:21:40,510 I mean, you're my maid of honor. 418 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,260 I'm getting out, I am. 419 00:21:44,135 --> 00:21:45,676 Can I please help you pack now? 420 00:21:46,635 --> 00:21:48,343 So we stood and bubble-wrapped, 421 00:21:48,426 --> 00:21:51,426 the bride-to-be and her maid of dishonor. 422 00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:58,218 A week of fantasizing hot sex with the unknown man inside the sandwich 423 00:21:58,301 --> 00:21:59,676 had gotten to Miranda. 424 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,635 Safe or not, she needed to at least see who it was she was dealing with. 425 00:22:04,218 --> 00:22:06,718 Hi. Look, this is so silly. 426 00:22:06,801 --> 00:22:07,885 Eat me. 427 00:22:09,176 --> 00:22:10,426 Let me see your face. 428 00:22:18,218 --> 00:22:20,926 Even though he was kind of cute Miranda walked away. 429 00:22:21,635 --> 00:22:23,718 After all, what did they really have in common? 430 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,385 She was a lawyer and he was a sandwich. 431 00:22:28,218 --> 00:22:32,760 Later that day at Tom Reymi's, after a week of sheer anxiety, 432 00:22:32,843 --> 00:22:36,926 Samantha enjoyed the benefits of totally safe sex. 433 00:22:42,135 --> 00:22:44,093 Oh, yes. 434 00:22:47,218 --> 00:22:48,203 Ow! 435 00:22:48,218 --> 00:22:50,301 Take your time. Um, you know, shower, 436 00:22:50,385 --> 00:22:52,301 there's stuff in the kitchen if you're hungry. 437 00:22:52,385 --> 00:22:53,676 It was the lowest of the low. 438 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,385 I had just finished making love to my married ex-boyfriend 439 00:22:56,468 --> 00:22:58,551 on his lunch hour at his apartment 440 00:22:58,635 --> 00:23:02,343 while his 25-year-old wife was sunning herself at the Hamptons. 441 00:23:02,426 --> 00:23:03,426 Jesus. 442 00:23:04,635 --> 00:23:05,635 What? 443 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:08,510 Could I feel any more like a hooker? 444 00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:16,010 Why do you keep doing that to yourself? 445 00:23:17,885 --> 00:23:19,718 I think we should stop seeing each other. 446 00:23:21,885 --> 00:23:22,885 Why? 447 00:23:28,010 --> 00:23:29,010 You're married. 448 00:23:30,093 --> 00:23:32,968 All right, hand me the phone, I'm going to call her right now. 449 00:23:33,051 --> 00:23:35,468 - Hand me the phone. - Don't be ridiculous. 450 00:23:35,843 --> 00:23:38,968 And what are you going to do? You're going to call her at the beach 451 00:23:39,051 --> 00:23:41,718 and say that you love me and you want a divorce? 452 00:23:41,801 --> 00:23:43,218 You don't want me to call her 453 00:23:43,301 --> 00:23:45,218 because you're still in love with that other guy. 454 00:23:45,301 --> 00:23:46,551 This is about that other guy. 455 00:23:46,635 --> 00:23:48,885 The other guy has a name, it's Aidan. 456 00:23:48,968 --> 00:23:51,718 - And you have a wife, Natasha. - Give me the phone. 457 00:23:51,801 --> 00:23:54,301 And if you really wanted to tell her, you would have told her by now. 458 00:23:54,385 --> 00:23:56,260 What the fuck? You told me not to tell her. 459 00:24:00,051 --> 00:24:01,676 Here, call her. 460 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:08,301 If I make that call, are you gonna be there for me? 461 00:24:09,093 --> 00:24:11,135 Are we gonna do this, really? 462 00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:18,093 I mean, out in the daylight, no cocktails, no hotel rooms, real life. 463 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,843 Carrie, in or out? 464 00:24:25,551 --> 00:24:26,676 I need more time. 465 00:24:30,676 --> 00:24:31,968 I'm calling her Monday. 466 00:24:34,551 --> 00:24:35,593 I have to go. 467 00:24:35,676 --> 00:24:37,093 You know how to let yourself out. 468 00:24:38,093 --> 00:24:39,218 I couldn't help but wonder 469 00:24:39,301 --> 00:24:41,635 if I really did know the way to let myself out. 470 00:24:48,926 --> 00:24:50,051 Charlotte was right. 471 00:24:50,718 --> 00:24:52,468 What did I really know about Natasha? 472 00:24:54,635 --> 00:24:56,968 Natasha is a woman who likes tea roses. 473 00:25:01,843 --> 00:25:04,593 Natasha is a woman who collects antique sugar bowls. 474 00:25:05,510 --> 00:25:06,510 Honey? 475 00:25:06,968 --> 00:25:09,801 Natasha is a woman who comes home from the Hamptons early. 476 00:25:10,385 --> 00:25:12,968 Honey, are you here? I took the Jitney home. 477 00:25:17,176 --> 00:25:18,176 Sweetheart? 478 00:25:22,385 --> 00:25:23,551 - Honey? - Oh! 479 00:25:26,218 --> 00:25:28,760 Carrie, I see you! 480 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:30,760 Wait! 481 00:25:31,593 --> 00:25:34,301 I knew you were having an affair, but not in my house! 482 00:25:34,385 --> 00:25:36,176 Stop. I'm talking to you! 483 00:25:45,176 --> 00:25:47,260 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 484 00:25:47,343 --> 00:25:50,968 I had always assumed the one who would be hurt in all this would be me. 485 00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:52,676 Taxi! 486 00:26:00,343 --> 00:26:02,385 Near… Nearest hospital. 487 00:26:30,635 --> 00:26:31,885 Is she all right? 488 00:26:31,968 --> 00:26:33,885 She lost a tooth and needed a stitch in her lip. 489 00:26:33,968 --> 00:26:36,135 They had a plastic surgeon, and it won't scar. 490 00:26:36,635 --> 00:26:37,635 She's scared and swollen. 491 00:26:41,426 --> 00:26:42,885 Her parents are on the way. 492 00:26:42,968 --> 00:26:44,093 I have to go. 493 00:26:45,135 --> 00:26:46,593 Carrie. Hey. 494 00:26:48,843 --> 00:26:50,010 Thanks for being here. 495 00:26:53,343 --> 00:26:54,426 I'll call you. 496 00:26:57,260 --> 00:26:58,385 For what? 497 00:26:59,635 --> 00:27:00,843 We're so over. 498 00:27:02,468 --> 00:27:04,010 We need a new word for "over." 499 00:27:07,718 --> 00:27:08,718 Carrie. 500 00:27:29,218 --> 00:27:30,218 Surprise. 501 00:27:31,843 --> 00:27:32,926 Where you been all day? 502 00:27:34,551 --> 00:27:35,551 Oh… 503 00:27:35,635 --> 00:27:38,635 I just went to a museum. I was walking around. 504 00:27:39,510 --> 00:27:40,801 Oh, yeah? How was that? 505 00:27:41,593 --> 00:27:42,593 It was good. 506 00:27:44,218 --> 00:27:45,635 I'm just gonna wash my face, I'll be right in. 507 00:27:45,718 --> 00:27:46,718 Okay. 508 00:27:58,301 --> 00:28:01,718 Somehow, I had found a way to let myself out of the mess 509 00:28:01,801 --> 00:28:03,676 and I'd made it home.