1 00:00:47,593 --> 00:00:50,968 In a city where cynicism is as prevalent as pashmina, 2 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,551 there is nothing more hopeful 3 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,843 than the "getting ready for the first date" routine. 4 00:00:55,301 --> 00:00:57,135 His name was Will O'Connor. 5 00:00:57,218 --> 00:01:01,218 He was a smart, cute urban planner Miranda had met at Starbucks, 6 00:01:01,301 --> 00:01:04,093 when he had mistaken her latte for his double cap 7 00:01:04,176 --> 00:01:07,551 and had offered to make it up to her by buying her a real drink that Saturday. 8 00:01:07,926 --> 00:01:11,343 Samantha preferred the "saying good night to the first date" routine. 9 00:01:11,426 --> 00:01:13,343 His name was Sebastian Wise. 10 00:01:13,426 --> 00:01:16,051 For Sam, it was a very good night. 11 00:01:16,135 --> 00:01:20,385 Meanwhile, uptown, Trey and Charlotte were practicing their new routine. 12 00:01:20,468 --> 00:01:23,218 All righty. Schooner's got the sails up. 13 00:01:23,301 --> 00:01:24,801 Yes, I can feel it. 14 00:01:26,176 --> 00:01:28,676 All righty, I'm bringing it into the harbor. 15 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,760 - Bring it in. - Okay. 16 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,843 All right. Here I come. 17 00:01:37,426 --> 00:01:38,426 Come. 18 00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:43,551 Honey? 19 00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:49,051 The wind died. I'm sorry. 20 00:01:53,301 --> 00:01:55,385 After a week of the same routine, 21 00:01:55,468 --> 00:01:58,718 the only thing getting up in their bed was Charlotte's libido. 22 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:03,593 As for me, my routine had become very routine. 23 00:02:03,676 --> 00:02:06,593 I was spending almost every night in, working. 24 00:02:09,301 --> 00:02:12,468 - Hello. - Okay. My date is three hours late. 25 00:02:12,551 --> 00:02:14,135 I'm being stood up, right? 26 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,760 - Maybe he got lost. - Carrie. 27 00:02:16,843 --> 00:02:18,926 - No, doesn't look good. - Oh! 28 00:02:19,385 --> 00:02:21,135 And I'm wearing a new dress from Barneys. 29 00:02:21,218 --> 00:02:22,718 And I'm eating out of plastic. 30 00:02:22,801 --> 00:02:24,760 Oh, man, I'm sorry. 31 00:02:24,843 --> 00:02:26,385 He doesn't even know me. 32 00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:29,343 The least he could do is wait to get to know me before he rejects me. 33 00:02:29,426 --> 00:02:31,593 Yeah, that's illegal dumping. 34 00:02:31,968 --> 00:02:35,301 It's crazy. This hasn't happened to me since I'm 27. 35 00:02:35,385 --> 00:02:37,968 I'm older. I should know better. 36 00:02:38,051 --> 00:02:40,801 I thought I'd got a little smarter about picking them now. You know? 37 00:02:40,885 --> 00:02:43,301 I can't believe guys still stand girls up. 38 00:02:43,385 --> 00:02:46,093 I can't believe I'm eating a frozen dinner. 39 00:02:46,176 --> 00:02:47,593 I'm such a cliché. 40 00:02:47,676 --> 00:02:49,301 Do you wanna grab a drink or something? 41 00:02:49,385 --> 00:02:51,010 No, I can't. I have to work. 42 00:02:51,385 --> 00:02:54,593 I agreed to teach these stupid Learning Annex classes. 43 00:02:54,676 --> 00:02:57,093 They're calling it "Bright Lights, Date City." 44 00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:59,676 Ugh! I'm so embarrassed for you. 45 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,760 Hey, they're paying me 300 bucks a pop. 46 00:03:01,843 --> 00:03:05,468 It's a seminar on where to meet men. Apparently, I'm an expert. 47 00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:07,385 Tell them to steer clear of Starbucks. 48 00:03:08,093 --> 00:03:09,676 Who would pay for something like this? 49 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,718 Now? Maybe me. 50 00:03:12,676 --> 00:03:15,218 Okay, gotta go. 51 00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:18,010 This dress is making a mockery of me. 52 00:03:18,093 --> 00:03:19,635 I'm sorry, sweetie. Bye. 53 00:03:19,718 --> 00:03:21,593 Please. Bye. 54 00:03:22,801 --> 00:03:25,426 Stood up at 27, Miranda had done nothing. 55 00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:30,551 At 34, she decided she wasn't going to take this stand-up lying down. 56 00:03:31,135 --> 00:03:33,343 Will may have given her the cold shoulder, 57 00:03:33,426 --> 00:03:35,885 but he had also given her his home number. 58 00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:38,468 - Hello? - Hi. Is Will there? 59 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,426 - Who's speaking, please? - Miranda Hobbes. 60 00:03:41,885 --> 00:03:44,260 Miranda, this is Will's mother. 61 00:03:44,343 --> 00:03:45,926 Well, Will's mother. 62 00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:50,385 I don't know how you raised your son, but he just stood me up for a date. 63 00:03:51,051 --> 00:03:52,468 Will died today. 64 00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:58,218 - They're starting to die on us. - Oh, my God. 65 00:03:58,301 --> 00:03:59,885 At least you weren't stood up. 66 00:03:59,968 --> 00:04:02,676 Thirty-five and they're dying. We should just give up now. 67 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,718 Well, on the bright side, this could explain why they don't call back. 68 00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:06,786 - Hmm. - How did he… 69 00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:07,968 - Heart attack. - Oh. 70 00:04:08,051 --> 00:04:08,953 At the gym. 71 00:04:08,968 --> 00:04:11,218 - See, this is why I don't work out. - Do you want to hear the worst part? 72 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,760 I felt so bad, I told his mother I would go to the wake. 73 00:04:14,843 --> 00:04:16,510 - You don't even know him. - Well… 74 00:04:16,593 --> 00:04:18,593 And it's safe to say, she never will. 75 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:20,385 Well, I, for one, am far from being dead. 76 00:04:21,051 --> 00:04:23,885 I just got us reservations at Samba next week. 77 00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:25,926 Oh, fancy. 78 00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:27,218 But I could only get us a four-top. 79 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,176 Do you think Trey would mind staying home? 80 00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:32,593 No. He doesn't seem up for much these days. 81 00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:39,093 Charlotte, is everything okay? 82 00:04:43,176 --> 00:04:44,843 We've been trying, you know, to… 83 00:04:45,593 --> 00:04:46,593 Fuck? 84 00:04:46,801 --> 00:04:49,176 Whatever. And it's just not… 85 00:04:49,676 --> 00:04:50,926 Getting big and hard? 86 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:52,676 What is this? Dirty mad libs? 87 00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:56,760 I love him, and he's trying, but this is so frustrating. 88 00:04:56,843 --> 00:04:57,745 Of course it is. 89 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,510 I mean, last night I got so turned on, I almost… 90 00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:05,260 Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, 91 00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,010 together, you almost had sex. 92 00:05:07,926 --> 00:05:10,760 Right next to my husband, I feel so ashamed. 93 00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,301 Everybody masturbates. 94 00:05:12,385 --> 00:05:15,468 - I did it this morning. - That explains why I got your voicemail. 95 00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:17,426 He masturbates and he reads porn. 96 00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:20,260 But when it comes to dealing with me, nothing. 97 00:05:20,343 --> 00:05:21,968 - Madonna-whore. - You think? 98 00:05:22,051 --> 00:05:23,676 Absolutely. 99 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,051 Trey sees you as his virginal wife, not as a sexual plaything. 100 00:05:27,135 --> 00:05:31,260 You're not going to get anywhere until you change how he sees you. 101 00:05:31,343 --> 00:05:32,760 I don't know if I can do that. 102 00:05:32,843 --> 00:05:35,176 Yes, you can. Come on. You're sexy. 103 00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:38,135 He should see you. You're something to see. 104 00:05:38,218 --> 00:05:40,010 Oh, yeah. 105 00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:44,260 The next night, I realized first-hand 106 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:47,426 just how many desperate New York women there actually were out there. 107 00:05:48,468 --> 00:05:49,468 Wow. 108 00:05:50,010 --> 00:05:51,010 Hi. 109 00:05:53,801 --> 00:05:54,843 Hello. 110 00:05:55,885 --> 00:05:59,426 Gosh, I'm flattered that so many of you ladies showed up to hear me talk. 111 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,343 Well, um… 112 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:06,301 The fact is, I have had a lot of experience with men. 113 00:06:06,885 --> 00:06:10,301 Some of it good, some of it bad, and some of it very, very ugly. 114 00:06:11,926 --> 00:06:16,676 Well, there are two million single men in this city. 115 00:06:17,301 --> 00:06:19,843 I have dated about a million of them. 116 00:06:20,926 --> 00:06:24,093 Um, and all these men are right outside your door. 117 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,385 So the next time you step out in the morning 118 00:06:26,468 --> 00:06:30,301 with your shoes and your tote and your traveling cappuccino, 119 00:06:30,385 --> 00:06:32,510 take a look around, because I'm telling you, 120 00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,343 our little metropolis, it is stacked with men. 121 00:06:35,426 --> 00:06:37,343 You never know who you're going to run into. 122 00:06:37,426 --> 00:06:40,718 You can turn a corner, and boom! Bright lights, date city. 123 00:06:46,218 --> 00:06:47,843 Could you be more specific? 124 00:06:47,926 --> 00:06:51,093 Um, you mean, like, places to meet men? 125 00:06:52,176 --> 00:06:53,676 Sure. Um… 126 00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:56,676 Well, let's see. Uh, Samba. 127 00:06:57,510 --> 00:07:01,093 Um, any sporting… Sports bars… Mickey Mantle's. 128 00:07:01,176 --> 00:07:02,260 Oh! I've gone there. 129 00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:04,176 All the men were married. 130 00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:06,051 Oh, really? Hmm. 131 00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:07,551 Okay. Well, uh… 132 00:07:08,051 --> 00:07:10,010 Let's see. Um… 133 00:07:10,593 --> 00:07:13,051 Well, I once met this fellow on the Hampton Jitney. 134 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,301 Of course, it turned out that he couldn't drive, 135 00:07:15,385 --> 00:07:18,260 and he was on some sort of parole program. 136 00:07:18,343 --> 00:07:19,718 So, I guess that's a bad example. 137 00:07:20,551 --> 00:07:22,635 Suddenly, I felt like the bad example. 138 00:07:23,968 --> 00:07:25,093 Uh, yes, you. 139 00:07:25,676 --> 00:07:27,968 - Are you married? - Um, no. 140 00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:30,551 Yes, you right there. 141 00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:35,010 - Have you ever been married? - Um, no, not that I'm aware of. No. 142 00:07:35,093 --> 00:07:36,801 Yes, you, all the way in the back there. Yes. 143 00:07:37,218 --> 00:07:39,176 How old are you? 144 00:07:39,968 --> 00:07:40,870 Look… 145 00:07:40,885 --> 00:07:44,801 I'm really not an expert on men, okay? I just write about this stuff. 146 00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:48,426 Then why are we paying to hear you talk about it? 147 00:07:50,635 --> 00:07:52,760 Hey. Hey, come on. Be quiet. 148 00:07:52,843 --> 00:07:55,426 She's older than us. We can learn something. 149 00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:59,260 The only thing I had learned that night at the Learning Annex 150 00:07:59,343 --> 00:08:01,426 was that maybe I should have stayed home. 151 00:08:03,218 --> 00:08:04,676 Can I smoke in here? Is that all right? 152 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:05,968 No. 153 00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:08,260 If you stay single in New York long enough, 154 00:08:08,343 --> 00:08:10,551 you're supposed to get wiser about dating. 155 00:08:10,635 --> 00:08:12,593 What men to pick, where to meet them… 156 00:08:12,676 --> 00:08:15,593 But what really made any of us experts? 157 00:08:15,676 --> 00:08:19,301 Wasn't our single status a neon sign that we couldn't get it right? 158 00:08:19,385 --> 00:08:22,343 What if all these years in New York have only made us older, 159 00:08:22,426 --> 00:08:24,718 more confused, or dead? 160 00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:27,676 Are we getting wiser or just older? 161 00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:29,426 I swear to God, 162 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,968 if they'd been holding tomatoes instead of Louis Vuitton clutches, 163 00:08:32,051 --> 00:08:33,093 I'd be dead woman. 164 00:08:33,176 --> 00:08:34,760 Or at least gazpacho. 165 00:08:34,843 --> 00:08:37,718 Do you know that there are no available men out there? 166 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:41,176 Uh, we're at my date's wake, so, yes. 167 00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:44,551 - Gosh. They were so hostile. - Fuck them. 168 00:08:45,051 --> 00:08:46,926 Well, maybe they're right, I mean, what do I know about men? 169 00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:49,760 All I have is a bunch of failed relationships. 170 00:08:49,843 --> 00:08:52,010 - And one affair. - Thanks. 171 00:08:52,885 --> 00:08:55,301 As if being dead-person adjacent isn't bad enough. 172 00:08:55,885 --> 00:08:57,843 I'm supposed to teach another one of these classes next week. 173 00:08:57,926 --> 00:08:59,051 What am I gonna do? 174 00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:00,343 Hire a bodyguard. 175 00:09:02,218 --> 00:09:03,968 This is my first wake. 176 00:09:04,051 --> 00:09:05,551 Don't expect a goodie bag. 177 00:09:07,093 --> 00:09:09,510 Oh, my god, open casket. 178 00:09:09,593 --> 00:09:11,718 No, no, no. I've never seen a dead body before. 179 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,885 - Let's get out of here. - We can't. People are looking at us. 180 00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:27,801 Oh, wow. 181 00:09:27,885 --> 00:09:29,468 He's cute. 182 00:09:30,218 --> 00:09:31,218 Was. 183 00:09:33,135 --> 00:09:34,135 Damn! 184 00:09:40,468 --> 00:09:41,510 See, this would have helped me. 185 00:09:41,593 --> 00:09:43,718 A place to meet men, an after-wake party. 186 00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:47,051 - He had money set aside for this. - It's nice. 187 00:09:47,135 --> 00:09:49,218 "I'm dead, you're not. Enjoy the buffet." 188 00:09:49,301 --> 00:09:52,385 Damn it, I like him even more now. He was organized enough to have a will. 189 00:09:52,468 --> 00:09:54,301 And some very attractive friends. 190 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,343 This place is lousy with men. 191 00:09:56,426 --> 00:09:58,093 Look how freaked out they all look. 192 00:09:58,176 --> 00:10:00,760 That's 'cause they know any minute, boom, they're out of here. 193 00:10:01,551 --> 00:10:02,551 Carrie? 194 00:10:02,968 --> 00:10:05,218 Hey, it's me, Jim. 195 00:10:06,968 --> 00:10:09,260 Oh, my God. Hey! 196 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:11,176 Jim. Hey, I… 197 00:10:11,843 --> 00:10:12,745 Your hair. 198 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,551 Yeah, I know, I cut it for a real job. I'm an engineer now. 199 00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:18,260 - On the railroad? - Civil. 200 00:10:19,260 --> 00:10:22,676 - What happened to the band? - Turns out I really wasn't talented. 201 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:27,260 Oh, wow. Oh, Miranda, sorry, this is… this is Jim. 202 00:10:27,343 --> 00:10:31,260 - We dated like a grillion years ago. - Or eight. 203 00:10:31,343 --> 00:10:33,051 Miranda. Nice to meet you. 204 00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:37,218 I'd ask if you two were having fun, but that seems totally inappropriate. 205 00:10:37,301 --> 00:10:39,135 It is, and we are. Thanks. 206 00:10:39,926 --> 00:10:42,593 - So, you were friends with Will? - May he rest. 207 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,926 Roommates in college. 208 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:47,551 It was weird, we were friends, but we were really competitive. 209 00:10:47,635 --> 00:10:49,676 We were always fighting it out for everything. 210 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:53,468 I mean, look, he even died first, just to beat me to the punch. 211 00:10:53,551 --> 00:10:55,885 - Bad. - But you laughed. 212 00:10:56,635 --> 00:10:58,635 Oh, you guys were the classic frenemies. 213 00:10:58,718 --> 00:11:00,593 Frenemies. Nice word. 214 00:11:00,676 --> 00:11:02,635 - Well, I'm a full-time writer now. - I know. 215 00:11:02,718 --> 00:11:05,010 - I'm a lawyer. - And I'm not drunk enough. 216 00:11:05,093 --> 00:11:07,760 - Can I get you ladies anything? - Oh, a martini. 217 00:11:07,843 --> 00:11:09,968 - No. - Don't go anywhere. I'll be back. 218 00:11:10,968 --> 00:11:12,135 He's kind of cute. 219 00:11:14,635 --> 00:11:16,968 - He's kind of an asshole. - Really? 220 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,343 Oh, yes, indeedy. 221 00:11:19,176 --> 00:11:20,078 But he seems great. 222 00:11:20,093 --> 00:11:22,593 Oh, sure, that's what I thought too, when I started dating him. 223 00:11:22,676 --> 00:11:25,010 Then when we both knew it wasn't working and I broke up with him, 224 00:11:25,093 --> 00:11:26,635 "Hello, asshole." 225 00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:31,176 You know, like, snide comments, and rumor spreading, the works. 226 00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:32,635 - But he's so cute. - Hmm. 227 00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:35,468 - Incoming. - Outgoing. 228 00:11:37,093 --> 00:11:38,635 - Here you go, Miranda. - Thanks. 229 00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:41,676 I would love to stay and chat inappropriately, 230 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,801 but I'm due to give a toast in the other room. 231 00:11:44,135 --> 00:11:46,135 So, this is kind of a working wake for you. 232 00:11:47,218 --> 00:11:50,051 Listen, I'd love to get together with you sometime. 233 00:11:50,135 --> 00:11:51,176 Oh, um… 234 00:11:52,093 --> 00:11:53,301 Here's my card. 235 00:11:53,385 --> 00:11:55,635 My e-mail address is on the back, and my cell. 236 00:11:57,051 --> 00:12:01,051 Apparently, Will's death had turned Miranda into my target audience: 237 00:12:01,135 --> 00:12:02,468 a desperate woman. 238 00:12:02,801 --> 00:12:06,343 Downtown, Samantha was getting wise, 239 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,385 Sebastian Wise, again. 240 00:12:09,426 --> 00:12:12,885 While uptown, Charlotte was getting nothing at all. 241 00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:16,718 I'm telling you, we almost broke the bed. 242 00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:17,843 You can't break a bed. 243 00:12:17,926 --> 00:12:19,676 What does this stallion do for a living? 244 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,218 - I'm not sure. - Oh. 245 00:12:21,301 --> 00:12:23,343 Hey, does he go to Mickey Mantle's? 246 00:12:23,426 --> 00:12:24,426 You got me. 247 00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:27,593 How can you not know anything about him? You slept with him. 248 00:12:27,676 --> 00:12:30,510 I fucked him. He made me come six times. 249 00:12:30,968 --> 00:12:32,135 It's good enough for me. 250 00:12:32,635 --> 00:12:33,635 Stop it. 251 00:12:35,676 --> 00:12:37,885 Why do you always have to talk about sex like that? 252 00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:39,760 Because I can. 253 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,426 Okay, girls, simmer down. Mommy hasn't had her caffeine yet. 254 00:12:42,926 --> 00:12:44,551 I… I can't take this anymore. 255 00:12:44,635 --> 00:12:45,885 Oh, hey. Frittatas. 256 00:12:47,676 --> 00:12:50,176 Sex is something special that's supposed to happen 257 00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:52,301 between two people who love each other. 258 00:12:52,385 --> 00:12:54,885 - Or two people who love sex. - Oh, my God! You're such a… 259 00:12:54,968 --> 00:12:57,426 A what? What am I, Charlotte? 260 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,801 When are you gonna learn that you can't just sleep 261 00:12:59,885 --> 00:13:01,468 with everything that comes along. 262 00:13:01,551 --> 00:13:04,093 Hey, Mrs. Softie, at least I'm getting laid. 263 00:13:04,968 --> 00:13:06,760 And you can forget Samba. 264 00:13:08,343 --> 00:13:11,843 That girl needs a stick out of her ass and a dick in her coochie, pronto. 265 00:13:11,926 --> 00:13:13,926 - Am I right? - Not getting involved. 266 00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:15,343 I'm with her. 267 00:13:16,176 --> 00:13:18,510 You know what? I don't need this. 268 00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:21,635 Maybe you guys should forget Samba too. 269 00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:30,010 - We knew this was coming. - It was so sad and petty. 270 00:13:30,593 --> 00:13:34,885 - I'm staying way out of this one. - Way out. New Jersey out. 271 00:13:36,260 --> 00:13:38,218 Okay, speaking of petty, 272 00:13:38,301 --> 00:13:40,301 how upset would you be if I went out with Jim? 273 00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:45,176 - Jim, Old Boyfriend Jim? - He called me. 274 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:50,551 Oh! Miranda, no, honey, he so needs to be voted off the island. 275 00:13:50,635 --> 00:13:54,718 I know how you feel, but he was so sweet on the phone and… 276 00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:58,051 It was eight years ago, Carrie. Maybe he's learned something. 277 00:13:58,135 --> 00:14:00,010 I mean, haven't you learned anything in eight years? 278 00:14:00,093 --> 00:14:01,093 Apparently not. 279 00:14:02,135 --> 00:14:03,968 He's alive and he asked me out. 280 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,093 I'm a little fragile right now. 281 00:14:06,176 --> 00:14:08,176 Okay, fine, go. Go. 282 00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:10,760 And you know what they say, one woman's asshole is another woman's… 283 00:14:10,843 --> 00:14:11,843 A-hole. 284 00:14:12,343 --> 00:14:13,968 Well, as long as you're okay with it. 285 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,801 Later that week, Charlotte decided 286 00:14:17,885 --> 00:14:20,968 if she was ever going to get Trey to see the sexual part of her, 287 00:14:21,051 --> 00:14:22,343 she'd have to dress the part. 288 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,551 I'm going to get him to notice me, Carrie. I have to. 289 00:14:25,301 --> 00:14:27,593 - I think that's a bottom. - Oh. 290 00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:31,135 You know, if you're gonna go the lingerie route, why not go La Perla 291 00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:35,301 or something a little more upscale and a little less flammable? 292 00:14:35,385 --> 00:14:37,510 I don't wanna be me. I wanna be someone else. 293 00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:39,635 Well, that's the basis for a healthy relationship. 294 00:14:39,718 --> 00:14:41,468 What about these? What do these say? 295 00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:43,260 Um, read my lips. 296 00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:47,385 I want to be "call girl meets Park Avenue." 297 00:14:47,468 --> 00:14:50,343 Then you're gonna have to pair that with a nice little cardigan. 298 00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:54,301 Oh, this is important to me, Carrie. I need him to see me sexually. 299 00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:57,010 I know you do, sweetie. I'm just not sure I need to. 300 00:14:57,718 --> 00:15:00,885 You know, this is much more a Samantha job. 301 00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,260 Ugh, please. I need a break from her. 302 00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:07,093 You shouldn't be so hard on her. She doesn't mean to be hurtful. 303 00:15:08,176 --> 00:15:09,260 Well, she was. 304 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:12,051 Well, I believe there were two of you ruining my breakfast. 305 00:15:12,135 --> 00:15:15,218 You know what, I have enough problems in my life right now. 306 00:15:15,301 --> 00:15:16,926 I really don't need any lectures. 307 00:15:19,635 --> 00:15:22,260 It was my second lecture that week that was a failure. 308 00:15:23,301 --> 00:15:26,218 And across town, Samantha decided the wise thing to do was 309 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:28,801 to take a break from all of us and go shopping. 310 00:15:31,968 --> 00:15:33,718 Oh, I'm sorry. 311 00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:35,676 Let it go, and no one gets hurt. 312 00:15:36,343 --> 00:15:38,218 I think I was holding it first. 313 00:15:38,301 --> 00:15:40,218 I know tae kwon do. 314 00:15:40,301 --> 00:15:41,635 I know the manager. 315 00:15:45,468 --> 00:15:48,218 You're spunky. I like spunky women. 316 00:15:48,301 --> 00:15:51,093 - We're a dying breed. - No kidding. 317 00:15:51,843 --> 00:15:55,218 I'm Claire Anne. Don't let the southern accent fool you. 318 00:15:55,301 --> 00:15:58,218 I'm Samantha. Nothing fools me. 319 00:15:59,843 --> 00:16:02,551 I tell you what, I'll let you have this scarf 320 00:16:02,635 --> 00:16:07,301 if you show me where a gal can get a hard drink in a dark bar around here. 321 00:16:07,385 --> 00:16:09,260 Done and done. 322 00:16:10,218 --> 00:16:11,926 Well, my last date died. 323 00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:15,176 So, the fact that you're still breathing makes this a huge success. 324 00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:17,260 Low standards. I like that. 325 00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:27,426 - This was really nice. - Yeah, it was. 326 00:16:28,093 --> 00:16:30,468 You know, Carrie wasn't sure that we would get along. 327 00:16:30,926 --> 00:16:34,051 She knew me a long time ago. I've changed. 328 00:16:34,135 --> 00:16:38,343 I mean, back then, I was in a band called Uncle Ted's Ass. 329 00:16:38,426 --> 00:16:40,426 And I could sit on my hair. 330 00:16:40,510 --> 00:16:42,135 Wow, that's impressive. 331 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:44,135 You didn't hear us play. 332 00:16:52,926 --> 00:16:55,551 - I'd like to see you again. - I'd like that. 333 00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:59,051 - Good night. - Night. 334 00:17:02,885 --> 00:17:05,635 The next morning, Miranda called with the post mortem 335 00:17:05,718 --> 00:17:07,093 on her last date with Jim. 336 00:17:10,218 --> 00:17:12,343 - Hello? - Hey, it's me. 337 00:17:12,426 --> 00:17:13,551 Oh! Thank God. 338 00:17:13,635 --> 00:17:16,176 I thought it was the Learning Annex bugging me about my class. 339 00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:18,635 - When's that? - Twelfth of Never Gonna Happen. 340 00:17:18,718 --> 00:17:21,718 Do you know, people actually asked for refunds after my first class. 341 00:17:21,801 --> 00:17:24,635 - What do they know? - Apparently, more than I do. 342 00:17:25,135 --> 00:17:26,843 I feel like a total sham. 343 00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:29,801 Oh, easy. That's my friend you're talking about there. 344 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:34,510 So, I went out with Jim. 345 00:17:35,051 --> 00:17:36,635 Don't make me say "I told you so." 346 00:17:36,718 --> 00:17:40,176 Carrie, it was great. It was fun and romantic. 347 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,718 We talked so long, we closed the restaurant. 348 00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:42,843 I think you're wrong about him. 349 00:17:42,926 --> 00:17:44,010 I think this could be good. 350 00:17:44,093 --> 00:17:46,885 Are we talking about the same Jim. Jim, Asshole Jim? 351 00:17:46,968 --> 00:17:50,051 - He's not an asshole. - Yeah, not till you break up with him. 352 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:52,385 Come on, he says the great things about you. 353 00:17:52,468 --> 00:17:53,468 He does? 354 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,926 - I'm going out with him again on Friday. - Go, Godspeed. 355 00:17:57,010 --> 00:18:01,593 Carrie, I feel weird dating a guy that you don't like. 356 00:18:02,176 --> 00:18:03,343 We should all go out. 357 00:18:03,885 --> 00:18:06,051 Have a drink sometime. One drink. 358 00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:08,051 Question. What do you know about this guy? 359 00:18:08,135 --> 00:18:09,676 You've been on one date with him. 360 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,885 What do you know about him? It's been eight years. 361 00:18:11,968 --> 00:18:13,218 Think about the drink. 362 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,468 Uptown, Charlotte decided this would be a good time 363 00:18:16,551 --> 00:18:18,676 to spend with her real old friends, 364 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,760 the sisters of Kappa Kappa Gamma. 365 00:18:20,843 --> 00:18:23,885 Oh, my goodness. Has it been forever or what? 366 00:18:23,968 --> 00:18:24,870 It has. 367 00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:27,926 It is so great to see you, Charlotte. We've really missed you. 368 00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:30,926 And I have missed you. You have no idea. 369 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:34,885 Well, congratulations on your wedding. Welcome to the married old gals' club. 370 00:18:36,385 --> 00:18:37,885 He is so handsome. 371 00:18:38,676 --> 00:18:41,635 Oh, my God. I would like to trade my husband in for him, please. 372 00:18:42,885 --> 00:18:44,635 She knew they would understand her. 373 00:18:44,718 --> 00:18:46,635 After all, they were all married too. 374 00:18:46,718 --> 00:18:50,801 I remember being a newly-wed. We hardly ever got out of bed. 375 00:18:50,885 --> 00:18:54,093 - Sydney! - What? It's just us girls. 376 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,551 My husband can't get it up. 377 00:18:57,551 --> 00:19:00,010 Perhaps, it would've been wiser for Charlotte to have had 378 00:19:00,093 --> 00:19:02,593 a kappa-kappa-cappuccino instead of that third martini. 379 00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:04,260 I'm so frustrated. 380 00:19:04,635 --> 00:19:05,885 Charlotte? 381 00:19:05,968 --> 00:19:09,468 I mean, don't you ever just want to be really pounded hard? You know… 382 00:19:09,926 --> 00:19:14,051 Like when the bed is moving all around, and it's all sweaty, 383 00:19:14,135 --> 00:19:16,926 and your head is knocking up against the headboard 384 00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,843 and you feel it like it might just blow off? 385 00:19:19,510 --> 00:19:23,093 Damn it, I just really wanna be fucked! You know, just really fucked. 386 00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:27,801 The only heads blowing off were those of Kappa Kappa Grandma. 387 00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:29,260 Charlotte. 388 00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:33,843 - This is really inappropriate. - Yeah, we're eating. 389 00:19:34,551 --> 00:19:36,301 What's wrong with you Charlotte? You're such a… 390 00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:37,510 What? 391 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,718 What am I, Sydney? 392 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,801 Charlotte realized how much they'd all changed since college. 393 00:19:45,468 --> 00:19:47,760 Her friends had become frenemies. 394 00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:51,051 And to them, she had become Samantha. 395 00:19:53,718 --> 00:19:55,718 Here's to new friends. 396 00:19:56,176 --> 00:19:58,551 And gorgeous New York men. 397 00:19:58,635 --> 00:19:59,635 Mmm! 398 00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:05,551 Hey, would you like to join me at Samba on Friday night? 399 00:20:05,635 --> 00:20:09,218 Two hot broads at a hot restaurant. I love it. 400 00:20:10,093 --> 00:20:11,843 The reservation's for four. 401 00:20:17,218 --> 00:20:20,051 Done and done. 402 00:20:22,718 --> 00:20:24,551 An hour later, Samantha couldn't believe 403 00:20:24,635 --> 00:20:26,176 how much fun she was having. 404 00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:29,926 She had finally found a woman who was as open about her sexuality as she was. 405 00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:31,260 I call the blonde. 406 00:20:32,885 --> 00:20:33,968 Oh. 407 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:35,885 You are too cute. 408 00:20:36,260 --> 00:20:37,968 I could just eat you up. 409 00:20:38,885 --> 00:20:40,093 Yes, I could. 410 00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:43,676 I'm gonna eat you up. 411 00:20:46,426 --> 00:20:47,968 Claire Anne? 412 00:20:53,801 --> 00:20:56,385 - Oh, my God. - Excellent. 413 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,176 Claire Anne, I'm going. 414 00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:03,343 Wait, I'll come with you. 415 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,218 And you can forget Samba! 416 00:21:10,718 --> 00:21:12,260 Hey, where are you going? 417 00:21:12,343 --> 00:21:15,760 That night, Samantha learned she had a little Charlotte in her. 418 00:21:16,468 --> 00:21:19,301 Just like Charlotte, she had a line that could be crossed. 419 00:21:19,385 --> 00:21:21,426 Hers was just a little more to the left. 420 00:21:22,551 --> 00:21:25,635 The next night, I agreed to meet Jim and Miranda for drinks. 421 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,301 Jim took me to an amazing poetry reading last night. 422 00:21:28,385 --> 00:21:30,593 The unpublished works of Robert Lowell. 423 00:21:30,676 --> 00:21:33,426 - He wrote his thesis on Lowell. - Really? I didn't know that. 424 00:21:33,510 --> 00:21:34,801 There's a lot you never knew about me. 425 00:21:36,510 --> 00:21:37,926 Another Chardonnay for the beautiful lady. 426 00:21:38,010 --> 00:21:39,468 Oh! Thank you. 427 00:21:39,968 --> 00:21:44,135 So, I… I lost track of you, but I always read your column. 428 00:21:44,218 --> 00:21:46,426 - It's really good. - Thank you. 429 00:21:46,510 --> 00:21:51,260 Maybe I'd been wrong. Jim seemed kind, funny, attentive. 430 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,385 There's a lot of sex in there. 431 00:21:54,093 --> 00:21:55,468 It creeps in. 432 00:21:56,218 --> 00:21:59,260 You didn't seem to know too much about sex when we were dating. 433 00:21:59,343 --> 00:22:01,260 And still an asshole. 434 00:22:01,343 --> 00:22:03,301 - All right then, good to see you. - Don't leave. Don't leave. 435 00:22:03,385 --> 00:22:07,510 I was joking. Stay. I have really bad timing. 436 00:22:08,051 --> 00:22:10,260 Speaking of which, did you ever hear his band play? 437 00:22:10,343 --> 00:22:11,286 No. Uh-uh. 438 00:22:11,301 --> 00:22:13,676 She was too busy going shopping for shoes. 439 00:22:14,051 --> 00:22:16,301 - I do like my shoes. - Yeah. 440 00:22:16,385 --> 00:22:19,801 They come in handy when you're walking all over people, huh? 441 00:22:19,885 --> 00:22:23,468 - Hey, Jim. Come on. - I'm just reliving happy memories. 442 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,635 Carrie doesn't walk all over people. 443 00:22:25,718 --> 00:22:27,093 She sure as fuck did with me. 444 00:22:27,176 --> 00:22:29,260 Well, maybe that's because you're an asshole. 445 00:22:29,343 --> 00:22:31,301 I'm an asshole? She's the asshole. 446 00:22:31,385 --> 00:22:33,635 She never called me once after we broke up. 447 00:22:33,718 --> 00:22:35,843 That's because you're an asshole. 448 00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:37,135 She's the asshole. 449 00:22:37,218 --> 00:22:39,510 - She's not an asshole - Thank you, sweetie. 450 00:22:39,593 --> 00:22:42,510 You know what? Never call me again. 451 00:22:42,593 --> 00:22:45,051 - What, are you breaking up with me? - Oh, yeah. 452 00:22:45,135 --> 00:22:47,968 Ooh, the fancy lawyer lady is breaking up with me. 453 00:22:48,051 --> 00:22:49,510 Like I give a shit. 454 00:22:50,010 --> 00:22:52,093 Jim hadn't gotten older or wiser. 455 00:22:52,176 --> 00:22:54,801 Once dumped, he would still dump on everyone else. 456 00:22:54,885 --> 00:22:56,801 You are such assholes! 457 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,801 - Okay, say it. - I told you so. 458 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,426 - What an asshole! - I told you so! 459 00:23:10,093 --> 00:23:12,426 Is it bad that it makes me feel good to say that? 460 00:23:12,510 --> 00:23:13,510 No. 461 00:23:13,968 --> 00:23:16,260 I can't believe I fell for that asshole. 462 00:23:16,343 --> 00:23:18,385 Your date died. You panicked. 463 00:23:18,468 --> 00:23:20,343 Yeah. You know me too well. 464 00:23:20,426 --> 00:23:23,343 Hey. There are plenty of other assholes out there. 465 00:23:23,926 --> 00:23:26,676 - You think? - Yeah, I know. And I'm an expert. 466 00:23:27,135 --> 00:23:28,593 You're such an asshole. 467 00:23:30,135 --> 00:23:31,676 Meanwhile, uptown, 468 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,135 the Samantha in Charlotte was finally ready to come out. 469 00:23:36,510 --> 00:23:37,510 Hey. 470 00:23:40,801 --> 00:23:42,343 What in God's name are you wearing? 471 00:23:44,468 --> 00:23:46,010 It's supposed to be sexy. 472 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,676 Come on, Charlotte. You're my wife. 473 00:23:51,718 --> 00:23:53,176 That's not you. Take it off. 474 00:23:54,843 --> 00:23:55,843 Fine. 475 00:24:02,385 --> 00:24:03,385 Charlotte… 476 00:24:06,093 --> 00:24:07,093 Look at me. 477 00:24:12,801 --> 00:24:13,885 This is me. 478 00:24:15,635 --> 00:24:18,885 I'm not a Madonna, and I'm not a whore. 479 00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:24,093 I'm your wife. And I'm sexual and I love you. 480 00:24:35,676 --> 00:24:36,676 What are you doing? 481 00:24:39,468 --> 00:24:40,968 I'm touching myself. 482 00:24:43,801 --> 00:24:44,801 I can… 483 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:46,968 I can see that. 484 00:24:48,885 --> 00:24:49,885 Good. 485 00:25:01,885 --> 00:25:02,885 Trey? 486 00:25:05,093 --> 00:25:06,885 I think we have a stiff breeze. 487 00:25:07,510 --> 00:25:10,926 That night, Trey successfully screwed his wife 488 00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:14,801 for a full minute-and-a-half before the wind died. 489 00:25:15,635 --> 00:25:19,676 After Charlotte's night of love, she called the one person she knew 490 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:21,801 who would appreciate it the most. 491 00:25:21,885 --> 00:25:23,510 - Hello? - Well… 492 00:25:24,635 --> 00:25:25,718 He fucked me. 493 00:25:25,801 --> 00:25:29,218 Oh, honey, that's great! I knew you could do it. 494 00:25:29,301 --> 00:25:30,301 Thanks. 495 00:25:30,343 --> 00:25:32,885 Oh, hey, don't forget Samba, Friday night. 496 00:25:32,968 --> 00:25:34,051 I'll be there. 497 00:25:34,926 --> 00:25:36,010 Did you come? 498 00:25:36,093 --> 00:25:38,093 Samantha! 499 00:25:38,176 --> 00:25:40,093 Having spent time with their frenemies, 500 00:25:40,176 --> 00:25:42,260 Charlotte and Samantha forgot they were enemies 501 00:25:42,343 --> 00:25:44,093 - and went back to being friends. - Good girl. 502 00:25:44,801 --> 00:25:47,968 I realized I had become my own worst frenemy. 503 00:25:48,051 --> 00:25:51,635 I had let 300 desperate women and one asshole convince me 504 00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:53,135 that I didn't know anything. 505 00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:55,593 But they were wrong. I was older and wiser. 506 00:25:55,676 --> 00:25:58,801 So I decided to keep my second date with the Learning Annex. 507 00:25:59,593 --> 00:26:02,260 Unfortunately, my reputation had preceded me. 508 00:26:02,343 --> 00:26:03,885 Wow, is this it? 509 00:26:05,635 --> 00:26:07,718 Okay. Wow! 510 00:26:08,343 --> 00:26:10,010 Um… Hi. 511 00:26:10,843 --> 00:26:12,135 I'm Carrie Bradshaw. 512 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:17,176 Um, I know you've paid good money to find out how to meet men. 513 00:26:17,843 --> 00:26:19,593 And I have to tell you, I don't know whole a lot about it, 514 00:26:19,676 --> 00:26:21,801 but I do know this, you are not gonna meet them 515 00:26:21,885 --> 00:26:23,301 sitting in a Learning Annex class. 516 00:26:23,385 --> 00:26:25,218 So, ladies, grab your bags. 517 00:26:28,010 --> 00:26:29,593 Come on, we're not getting any younger. 518 00:26:30,885 --> 00:26:31,885 Chop-chop! 519 00:26:33,135 --> 00:26:36,218 That's right. Just trying to give you your money's worth. All right. 520 00:26:36,301 --> 00:26:40,801 I took them around the corner to a bar, and took my $300 and bought them drinks. 521 00:26:41,843 --> 00:26:44,968 Okay, Anne, the guy over there is checking you out. 522 00:26:46,176 --> 00:26:47,176 Twelve o'clock. 523 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,093 Not everybody, just Anne. Just Anne. 524 00:26:50,176 --> 00:26:52,176 All right, go over there and ask him for a light. 525 00:26:52,260 --> 00:26:53,301 I'm already lit. 526 00:26:56,385 --> 00:26:58,260 Go. Go. 527 00:27:01,551 --> 00:27:04,551 - Hi, got a light? - Sure. 528 00:27:05,385 --> 00:27:06,885 Oh, yeah. See? 529 00:27:07,343 --> 00:27:09,760 Okay, one down, five to go. 530 00:27:09,843 --> 00:27:11,176 Hey, what about him? 531 00:27:11,260 --> 00:27:13,260 No, it's totally cool with me. It's fine. 532 00:27:14,260 --> 00:27:15,510 - Excuse me? - Hi. 533 00:27:15,593 --> 00:27:19,093 Hi. Have you met Liz? She works in TV. 534 00:27:19,176 --> 00:27:21,218 Get out of here! I love TV. 535 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:22,885 Something in common. 536 00:27:22,968 --> 00:27:25,051 That night, I made three matches. 537 00:27:25,135 --> 00:27:26,593 I didn't even look for myself. 538 00:27:26,676 --> 00:27:29,135 After all, I try not to date while at work. 539 00:27:29,218 --> 00:27:32,176 So, I guess the old and wise adage is true. 540 00:27:32,260 --> 00:27:36,093 Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, do. 541 00:27:36,176 --> 00:27:38,926 Here's a live one. Go get him, tiger. Go. 542 00:27:39,010 --> 00:27:40,010 Run like the wind.