1 00:00:45,866 --> 00:00:46,908 Thirty-love, Charles. 2 00:00:47,908 --> 00:00:49,658 Two months into her marriage with Trey, 3 00:00:49,741 --> 00:00:52,075 Charlotte's life appeared to be a bed of roses. 4 00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:53,060 You bastard! 5 00:00:53,075 --> 00:00:55,783 At least, that's what it looked like to an objective onlooker. 6 00:00:55,866 --> 00:00:58,783 Can you believe my boys have been playing against each other 7 00:00:58,866 --> 00:01:00,116 since prep school? 8 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,783 And they're still not tired of it. 9 00:01:01,866 --> 00:01:04,450 Come on! Let the girls play. 10 00:01:04,991 --> 00:01:08,408 She's wearing pastels. It's whites only. 11 00:01:08,491 --> 00:01:10,158 Come on, you old fuddy-duddy! 12 00:01:10,241 --> 00:01:12,200 I think we can make an exception this one time. 13 00:01:12,741 --> 00:01:15,658 Trey, your father would roll over in his grave 14 00:01:15,741 --> 00:01:17,658 if he heard you talking like that. 15 00:01:17,741 --> 00:01:19,200 Well, I don't think Charlotte's been issued 16 00:01:19,283 --> 00:01:21,700 a copy of the MacDougal house rules. 17 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,450 No, but I think it's time I got one. 18 00:01:24,533 --> 00:01:27,200 You'll find it next to the Bible, on your bed stand. 19 00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:28,616 Very funny. 20 00:01:29,033 --> 00:01:31,950 Tradition is a very undervalued virtue. 21 00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:36,283 You know, girls, when you marry a MacDougal, you're marrying history. 22 00:01:36,366 --> 00:01:39,783 Yes, well… I guess I better go change. 23 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,200 Charlotte had no interest 24 00:01:41,283 --> 00:01:43,991 in hearing any more about the MacDougal family history. 25 00:01:44,075 --> 00:01:46,908 Her history with Trey was depressing enough. 26 00:01:46,991 --> 00:01:50,491 After a few half-baked attempts at a fulfilling sex life, 27 00:01:50,575 --> 00:01:52,075 Trey seemed to give up. 28 00:01:52,158 --> 00:01:54,200 The only place he even tried to score nowadays 29 00:01:54,283 --> 00:01:55,283 was on the tennis court. 30 00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,491 - Good morning. - Morning. 31 00:02:05,533 --> 00:02:07,950 Beautiful… roses. 32 00:02:08,408 --> 00:02:09,408 Thank you. 33 00:02:25,658 --> 00:02:28,241 I don't know what it is. I'm strangely drawn to him. 34 00:02:28,325 --> 00:02:30,325 Of course you are. You know the man can plough. 35 00:02:30,408 --> 00:02:33,283 He had the most intoxicating scent. 36 00:02:33,366 --> 00:02:38,700 Like, sweat mixed with something else, something sweet yet pungent. 37 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:42,616 - Manure? - And these full, sensuous lips. 38 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,075 Does he water plants in Manhattan? 39 00:02:44,158 --> 00:02:46,866 This is insane. I'm married. I can't be looking at gardeners. 40 00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:49,158 Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs, 41 00:02:49,241 --> 00:02:50,866 if you're not gonna fuck a gardener? 42 00:02:51,325 --> 00:02:54,241 He is so tan and muscular. 43 00:02:54,325 --> 00:02:59,741 And the sweat ran down from his chest onto his perfectly defined stomach. 44 00:02:59,825 --> 00:03:01,991 See, you read a couple Harlequin romances in high-school, 45 00:03:02,075 --> 00:03:03,325 haunt you the rest of your life. 46 00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:07,908 Okay. Whatever you do, don't look up. 47 00:03:23,533 --> 00:03:24,741 Oh, my God. 48 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,408 My god, did you see the way she looked at me? 49 00:03:27,491 --> 00:03:29,825 Did you see the look her friend shot us? 50 00:03:29,908 --> 00:03:32,575 Contempt, like I was Pol Pot or something. 51 00:03:33,116 --> 00:03:34,101 He's dead. 52 00:03:34,116 --> 00:03:35,700 Yeah. I'm sure she wishes I was. 53 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,491 Who does she think she is? 54 00:03:37,575 --> 00:03:38,575 Big's wife. 55 00:03:39,866 --> 00:03:43,450 God, that was awful. I can't believe that there's a person in New York 56 00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:44,575 who could hate me that much. 57 00:03:46,825 --> 00:03:48,283 Oh, God. 58 00:03:49,366 --> 00:03:52,866 After lunch, I was so devastated by Natasha's withering look 59 00:03:52,950 --> 00:03:56,075 that I decided my only recourse was to go shopping. 60 00:03:56,616 --> 00:03:58,783 But I took a wrong turn looking for the right shoes, 61 00:03:58,866 --> 00:04:02,908 and somewhere south of Houston Street I quite literally lost my direction. 62 00:04:06,616 --> 00:04:09,366 Excuse me sir, I know this sounds ridiculous, 63 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:12,283 but can you tell me which way is West Broadway? 64 00:04:12,366 --> 00:04:13,366 Give me your bag. 65 00:04:14,075 --> 00:04:15,325 - What? - Your bag. 66 00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:19,075 - It's a baguette. - Let me have it. 67 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,741 I couldn't believe it. Fifteen years in New York, 68 00:04:22,825 --> 00:04:25,866 and just when the city was getting safe, I was getting mugged. 69 00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:28,325 - Is this for real? - Your watch and your ring. Quick. 70 00:04:28,408 --> 00:04:29,700 Oh, Jesus. 71 00:04:31,158 --> 00:04:32,366 - This won't… - Come on. 72 00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:35,283 And your Manolo Blahniks. 73 00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:37,075 What? 74 00:04:39,116 --> 00:04:41,116 - No. - Give me your fucking Blahniks. 75 00:04:41,908 --> 00:04:44,241 These guys weren't just after money anymore. 76 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,616 They were after fashion. 77 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:48,033 Please, sir, they're my favorite pair. 78 00:04:48,408 --> 00:04:52,325 I got them half price at a… at a sample sale. 79 00:04:53,116 --> 00:04:54,116 Thanks. 80 00:04:54,866 --> 00:04:56,408 Oh. Oh! 81 00:04:56,825 --> 00:05:01,116 Somebody… somebody stop him, he took my strappy sandals! 82 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,616 Oh! Please, somebody… Ow! 83 00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:05,450 Ugh! Gross! 84 00:05:07,825 --> 00:05:09,200 I've been robbed! 85 00:05:14,825 --> 00:05:16,741 I've… I've been robbed. 86 00:05:20,741 --> 00:05:22,700 And then he said, "Give me your Manolo Blahniks," 87 00:05:22,783 --> 00:05:24,366 which I thought was a joke. 88 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:25,825 And the next thing I know, 89 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:29,908 I'm barefoot on a New York City sidewalk in the middle of summer. 90 00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,950 So, anything else other than the watch, 91 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,158 and the bag, and the ring, and the shoes? 92 00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:36,241 My dignity. 93 00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:43,741 - My God, are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for coming. 94 00:05:43,825 --> 00:05:46,241 - I can't believe he took your shoes. - I know! 95 00:05:46,658 --> 00:05:49,366 - Probably got trichinosis. - You only get that from pork. 96 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,200 Oh! Well, I'm sure I stepped on a piece of it somewhere. 97 00:05:52,283 --> 00:05:53,283 Uh-huh. 98 00:05:54,075 --> 00:05:55,116 Hey, um… 99 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,408 Detective Stevens, this is my friend, my lawyer, Miranda Hobbes. 100 00:05:59,491 --> 00:06:01,616 Nice to meet you. Any chance of catching this guy? 101 00:06:02,658 --> 00:06:04,116 Uh, we hope so. 102 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,575 Maybe you can come along with me and read him his Miranda rights. 103 00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:12,783 - Sorry, that was a little lame. - No, that was funny. A little cop humor. 104 00:06:13,783 --> 00:06:14,783 You Irish? 105 00:06:14,866 --> 00:06:16,200 No. Why? 106 00:06:17,283 --> 00:06:18,783 'Cause you have beautiful red hair. 107 00:06:20,366 --> 00:06:22,533 I guess anybody can be Irish with the right colorist. 108 00:06:23,366 --> 00:06:24,366 That's very funny. 109 00:06:25,325 --> 00:06:28,408 A sense of humor, I like that in a lawyer. It's very rare. 110 00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:31,450 Well, uh… 111 00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:34,325 Miss, I'm gonna get back to you as soon as I have something. 112 00:06:34,408 --> 00:06:36,116 Can I have your card? I will need your card… 113 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:37,200 Sure. 114 00:06:37,241 --> 00:06:38,741 - I mean, just in case. - Sure. 115 00:06:41,658 --> 00:06:42,658 Thanks. 116 00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:45,075 Oh, no. I can't wear these. 117 00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:46,991 Well, I'll call you. 118 00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:55,241 I don't understand this. I get mugged, and you get him? 119 00:06:55,908 --> 00:06:57,908 Oh, I guess that's my karma. 120 00:06:58,325 --> 00:07:00,825 Just because he said he's gonna call doesn't mean he's going to. 121 00:07:00,908 --> 00:07:02,283 What are you talking about? 122 00:07:02,366 --> 00:07:04,575 - The man was smitten with you. - Oh. 123 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,741 He probably wants free legal advice. That's generally my karma. 124 00:07:10,616 --> 00:07:12,200 That evening, Samantha discovered 125 00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:14,408 that her number had been passed around as well. 126 00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:16,700 Hey, this is a message for Sam Jones. 127 00:07:16,783 --> 00:07:18,408 Sam, if you're getting this, it's Brian. 128 00:07:18,491 --> 00:07:21,283 I'll see you tomorrow around 10:00. Can't wait. Later. 129 00:07:22,866 --> 00:07:25,116 Sam? Sam, are you there? 130 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,783 Sam! Anyway, this is Rob, Mike's friend. 131 00:07:27,866 --> 00:07:29,450 You don't know me, but I'll be there tomorrow night 132 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,450 with some very fine party favors. 133 00:07:42,825 --> 00:07:44,866 - Hello, Sam? - Yes, this is Sam. 134 00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:48,658 - Sam Jones? - Yes. This is Sam Jones. Who is this? 135 00:07:48,741 --> 00:07:51,700 The Sam Jones who's having the big blow-out party tomorrow night? 136 00:07:52,783 --> 00:07:54,908 Exactly who is this Sam Jones? 137 00:07:56,283 --> 00:07:58,575 And where is this fabulous party? 138 00:07:59,658 --> 00:08:02,991 The next evening, Miranda had a date with my detective. 139 00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:13,393 Hello? 140 00:08:13,408 --> 00:08:15,283 I'm having an anxiety attack. 141 00:08:15,658 --> 00:08:17,241 The most gorgeous man I've ever met 142 00:08:17,325 --> 00:08:19,075 has been in my living room for 20 minutes 143 00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:21,741 - and I can't figure out what to wear. - All right, breathe. 144 00:08:22,075 --> 00:08:24,616 Now shut your eyes, and go with your first instinct. 145 00:08:25,158 --> 00:08:28,033 The problem is I've been in here for 20 minutes. 146 00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,950 By now, he thinks I'm some kind of a freak. 147 00:08:30,366 --> 00:08:31,366 Um… 148 00:08:34,366 --> 00:08:35,491 I'll be right there. 149 00:08:38,783 --> 00:08:40,408 What are you getting so worked up about? 150 00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:43,200 He's too good-looking for me. He's out of my league. 151 00:08:43,283 --> 00:08:45,325 I don't have any outfits that go with Hunk. 152 00:08:45,408 --> 00:08:47,908 Wait, wait. Wait a minute. Maybe this is karma. 153 00:08:47,991 --> 00:08:49,908 You're finally getting what you deserve. 154 00:08:50,741 --> 00:08:51,783 Right. 155 00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:55,825 Maybe after years of dating odd men, the universe is throwing me a bone. 156 00:08:55,908 --> 00:08:57,825 And if you're lucky, a boner as well. 157 00:08:58,741 --> 00:09:01,408 Okay, I can do this. 158 00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:03,283 Right. Now go have fun. 159 00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:06,700 Hey, and tell Detective Stevens if he sees a woman 160 00:09:06,783 --> 00:09:10,533 wearing last year's pink suede Manolo Blahnik strappy sandals, 161 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,283 bring her in for questioning immediately. 162 00:09:12,366 --> 00:09:14,366 - Bye. - Bye. 163 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,533 While I always ascribed thoughts about karma 164 00:09:21,616 --> 00:09:23,700 to the fortune-cookie school of psychology, 165 00:09:23,783 --> 00:09:28,283 I wondered, does a string of bad dates really equal one good one? 166 00:09:28,825 --> 00:09:31,741 And will treating someone badly in one relationship 167 00:09:31,825 --> 00:09:34,200 ensure that you'll be treated badly in the next? 168 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,033 Does everything that goes around really come around? 169 00:09:38,116 --> 00:09:41,200 And if so, will it come around to bite you in the ass? 170 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,241 Is there such a thing as relationship karma? 171 00:09:47,908 --> 00:09:50,700 Later that night, I agreed to accompany Samantha to a party 172 00:09:50,783 --> 00:09:53,366 thrown by the mysterious Sam Jones. 173 00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,908 I can't believe we're going to the party of a total stranger. 174 00:09:55,991 --> 00:09:58,408 He's not a total stranger, we do share the same name. 175 00:09:59,783 --> 00:10:01,533 Why are you walking so slow? 176 00:10:01,616 --> 00:10:04,616 I keep waiting for someone to jump out of the bushes and steal my bra. 177 00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,283 Oh, look. 178 00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:09,450 If the guy's a loser, I'll tell him to stop having his friends call me, 179 00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:11,658 and we'll go for dinner. If not, who knows? 180 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:13,366 His friends sounded cute on the phone. 181 00:10:13,450 --> 00:10:15,450 How can you tell if someone's cute over the phone? 182 00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:19,200 I can. Besides, Washington Square, very money address. 183 00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:24,075 And I just feel like there's some kind of cosmic purpose to all this. 184 00:10:24,158 --> 00:10:26,991 It's… it's just too much of a coincidence. 185 00:10:27,075 --> 00:10:28,950 So, what do you think the cosmic purpose was 186 00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,116 of my getting snubbed by Natasha the other day? 187 00:10:31,616 --> 00:10:32,616 Okay. 188 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:35,700 If I told you I had a piece of information about Big and Natasha, 189 00:10:36,450 --> 00:10:37,991 would you consider it a cosmic connection 190 00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:40,033 or just a random act of gossip? 191 00:10:40,116 --> 00:10:42,116 I guess I'd have to hear it first. 192 00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:46,408 Natasha left Big. Their marriage is over. 193 00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:48,366 She's back to working for Ralph Lauren. 194 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:51,241 Oh, my God. 195 00:10:51,991 --> 00:10:53,366 Who told you that? 196 00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:55,241 A little bird I fucked at Ralph Lauren. 197 00:10:55,325 --> 00:10:58,241 And you waited 15 blocks to tell me that? 198 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,158 I wanted you to have fun at the party. 199 00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:03,491 I can't believe I'm responsible for breaking up their marriage. 200 00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,283 You are not responsible. 201 00:11:05,366 --> 00:11:07,825 It probably wouldn't have worked anyway. 202 00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:09,908 I don't think I could feel any worse. 203 00:11:09,991 --> 00:11:11,575 Oh. Here we are. 204 00:11:14,533 --> 00:11:15,991 It's a dorm. 205 00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,866 Well, look at that, I feel worse. 206 00:11:25,575 --> 00:11:28,491 You think all these cute boys are still in college? 207 00:11:28,575 --> 00:11:29,575 Yes. 208 00:11:30,283 --> 00:11:34,991 Well, I'm going to find Sam Jones, and then we're outta here. 209 00:11:37,408 --> 00:11:40,158 Excuse me. Could you tell me where I can find Sam Jones? 210 00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:53,533 - Sam Jones? - Yeah. Who are you? 211 00:11:53,991 --> 00:11:55,533 Sam Jones. 212 00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:56,783 Excuse me? 213 00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,658 Well, it appears that we have a little problem here. 214 00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:03,450 We have the same name, the same exchange, 215 00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:05,866 and it appears I'm getting all of your fucking calls. 216 00:12:06,616 --> 00:12:08,491 Well, if you're getting all my "fucking" calls, 217 00:12:08,575 --> 00:12:10,658 I guess that explains why I'm still a virgin. 218 00:12:11,658 --> 00:12:13,075 And while Samantha was wondering 219 00:12:13,158 --> 00:12:15,825 what kind of message the universe was trying to send her, 220 00:12:16,325 --> 00:12:18,033 Miranda had no doubt. 221 00:12:18,116 --> 00:12:20,575 Well, this was really fun, and I would invite you in, 222 00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:23,700 but you've already been in, and I've got a really huge day tomorrow, 223 00:12:23,783 --> 00:12:25,491 which isn't to say I wouldn't like to see you again. 224 00:12:25,575 --> 00:12:27,075 I really would, that is, if you'd like to see me. 225 00:12:27,158 --> 00:12:28,158 Although, it's… 226 00:12:37,283 --> 00:12:38,283 I'll call you. 227 00:12:39,783 --> 00:12:40,783 Okay. 228 00:12:42,408 --> 00:12:43,408 Bye. 229 00:12:43,950 --> 00:12:44,950 Bye. 230 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:51,783 She felt like she had just hit the cosmic jackpot. 231 00:12:54,783 --> 00:12:58,033 Please don't tell anyone we were here. 232 00:12:58,116 --> 00:13:00,908 - Some of those boys were cute. - Some of those boys 233 00:13:00,991 --> 00:13:03,658 - are young enough to be your… - Don't you dare say it. 234 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:04,908 Excuse me, ladies. 235 00:13:04,991 --> 00:13:06,700 Excuse me, ladies. Excuse me, Mom. 236 00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:11,700 Ow! 237 00:13:11,783 --> 00:13:12,991 Stop! 238 00:13:15,491 --> 00:13:18,366 Natasha fell down the stairs, now I fall down the stairs. 239 00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:21,575 This is an open and shut case of karmic retribution. 240 00:13:21,658 --> 00:13:23,658 Those guys were drunk. It was an accident. 241 00:13:23,741 --> 00:13:24,991 This was not an accident. 242 00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:27,450 Yesterday, I get mugged, favorite shoes gone, 243 00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:29,533 and now I can't even get a freaking taxi. 244 00:13:29,616 --> 00:13:31,658 And I can always get a taxi. My karma is shot. 245 00:13:31,741 --> 00:13:33,366 Well, if everything happens for a reason, 246 00:13:33,491 --> 00:13:35,533 why am I getting all those calls for Sam Jones? 247 00:13:35,616 --> 00:13:37,158 What's the karmic connection there? 248 00:13:37,241 --> 00:13:39,575 I don't know about your karma, I only know about my own karma. 249 00:13:39,658 --> 00:13:42,783 Maybe the universe is telling me that I should fuck that cute virgin 250 00:13:42,866 --> 00:13:45,575 and give him the great first-time experience that I never had. 251 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,825 That's not karma, that's statutory rape. 252 00:13:48,658 --> 00:13:50,533 - Taxi! - Taxi! 253 00:13:50,616 --> 00:13:52,325 Here, here. 254 00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:54,533 - Come on. Hey! - Hey! 255 00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:55,658 What's up? 256 00:13:56,075 --> 00:13:58,741 Meanwhile across town, 257 00:13:58,825 --> 00:14:01,116 Charlotte was getting a message of her own. 258 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,700 Wake up. Wake up. 259 00:14:40,783 --> 00:14:41,950 Wake up. Wake up. 260 00:14:43,408 --> 00:14:45,116 - Huh? - A nightmare. You're having a nightmare. 261 00:14:45,741 --> 00:14:46,741 Oh. 262 00:14:52,033 --> 00:14:53,825 - You're all wet. - Mmm. 263 00:14:57,825 --> 00:14:58,825 Later that week, 264 00:14:58,908 --> 00:15:02,116 my knee still hurting from my karmic trip down the stairs, 265 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,700 I decided to take matters into my own hands. 266 00:15:04,783 --> 00:15:06,700 Ralph Lauren. Natasha's desk. Kathy speaking. 267 00:15:06,783 --> 00:15:09,200 Yes. I'd like to speak to Natasha, please. 268 00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:12,825 - It's Carrie Bradshaw calling. - What's this regarding? 269 00:15:13,783 --> 00:15:16,658 - Uh, its… it's personal. - Hold. 270 00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:18,533 I didn't know how to tell an assistant 271 00:15:18,616 --> 00:15:20,700 that it was a matter of cosmic significance. 272 00:15:20,783 --> 00:15:22,158 - She's in a meeting. - Oh, I'll hold. 273 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,450 I don't mean to be rude, but you'll be holding forever. 274 00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:30,033 Okay then, I'll… I'll hold forever. 275 00:15:30,116 --> 00:15:33,616 Obviously, this wasn't gonna be easy. I had some tough karma to overcome. 276 00:15:37,241 --> 00:15:40,200 The next week, Charlotte flirted with her own karma. 277 00:15:43,283 --> 00:15:45,075 Where did you get such a green thumb? 278 00:15:46,325 --> 00:15:49,825 Runs in the family. We're gardeners for three generations. 279 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,450 What a wonderful tradition. 280 00:15:54,783 --> 00:15:57,491 I'm Charlotte, by the way. Trey's wife. 281 00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,075 I know. I'm… I'm Burt. 282 00:16:01,991 --> 00:16:06,200 These roses are so beautiful. What kind are they? 283 00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:10,200 A special hybrid of American Beauty. 284 00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:14,158 They're very fragrant. 285 00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:20,200 And Charlotte's karma flirted back in a most unexpected way. 286 00:16:34,991 --> 00:16:35,991 Downtown, 287 00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:39,200 Samantha was working out some karmic issues of her own. 288 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,533 I just came over to apologize for all those calls. 289 00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,241 Thank you. 290 00:16:47,991 --> 00:16:48,893 Anything else? 291 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,200 I've been waiting for a woman like you my whole life. 292 00:16:52,116 --> 00:16:54,200 You are the hottest thing I've ever seen. 293 00:17:06,908 --> 00:17:08,033 Slow down. 294 00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:25,616 Oh, Lord. Oh, my Lord! 295 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:26,783 Oh, here we go. 296 00:17:46,325 --> 00:17:47,408 That was awesome. 297 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,241 Yes, it was. 298 00:17:52,991 --> 00:17:53,991 Sam? 299 00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:55,408 Yes, Sam? 300 00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:57,950 I think I love you. 301 00:17:59,366 --> 00:18:02,825 Oh, honey, that wasn't love. 302 00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:04,700 That was sex. 303 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,241 No, ma'am. I… 304 00:18:09,241 --> 00:18:10,241 I love you. 305 00:18:12,616 --> 00:18:13,616 Okay. 306 00:18:15,075 --> 00:18:16,241 Time to move. 307 00:18:18,991 --> 00:18:19,991 Do I have to? 308 00:18:20,408 --> 00:18:24,450 Oh, yes. I've got stuff to do. 309 00:18:27,575 --> 00:18:29,616 Good-bye to the sweetest lips I've ever kissed. 310 00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:34,325 Buh-bye. 311 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,741 Later that night, the MacDougals 312 00:18:38,825 --> 00:18:40,491 were enjoying their cocktail hour, 313 00:18:40,575 --> 00:18:43,575 which generally lasted from 5:00 p.m. to last man standing. 314 00:18:43,658 --> 00:18:44,950 Beat you three sets in a row, Charles. 315 00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:49,741 We didn't finish that last set, damn it. It was getting dark, as you recall. 316 00:18:49,825 --> 00:18:50,950 Boys, stop bickering. 317 00:18:51,033 --> 00:18:52,116 - Sandwiches, ma'am? - No. 318 00:18:53,158 --> 00:18:54,200 No, thank you. 319 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:55,700 Well… 320 00:18:56,075 --> 00:18:57,991 I certainly had an interesting day. 321 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,200 I went riding in the morning. 322 00:19:00,783 --> 00:19:03,491 In the afternoon, I took a long walk around the property 323 00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:06,325 and saw Charlotte kissing the gardener. 324 00:19:10,575 --> 00:19:13,283 Charlotte, you're a MacDougal now. 325 00:19:20,825 --> 00:19:23,700 And back in the city, Samantha came home to discover 326 00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:26,033 that the universe had sent her many messages. 327 00:19:26,116 --> 00:19:28,158 You have 35 new messages. 328 00:19:29,366 --> 00:19:32,283 Sam, it's Sam Jones. Call me. I can't stop thinking about you. 329 00:19:34,658 --> 00:19:35,658 Sam! Hi. 330 00:19:36,158 --> 00:19:39,116 I have to see you tonight. It's really important. 331 00:19:41,075 --> 00:19:42,825 Sam, it's Sam. Listen, I… 332 00:19:42,908 --> 00:19:45,033 I don't think I can live without you, okay? 333 00:19:45,408 --> 00:19:47,575 Okay, Sam. 334 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,533 Sam, are you there, babe? 335 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:54,200 I have to see you tonight. It's really important. 336 00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:57,033 Sam! 337 00:19:57,366 --> 00:19:59,158 Okay, Sam. It's Sam. 338 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:01,783 And across town, 339 00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:03,991 Miranda met her karmic treasure for dinner. 340 00:20:04,075 --> 00:20:07,116 And after almost ten years at the firm, I finally made partner two months ago. 341 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,866 Or was it three? I'm losing track. 342 00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:11,325 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 343 00:20:11,908 --> 00:20:13,408 Can I get you another drink? 344 00:20:13,491 --> 00:20:15,908 Oh, another double vodka martini, please. 345 00:20:16,658 --> 00:20:17,700 And you, sir? 346 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,200 Oh, I'm fine. 347 00:20:21,866 --> 00:20:24,616 - Would you care to order? - Could we just have a minute? 348 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:26,700 Take your time. 349 00:20:28,450 --> 00:20:29,908 You know what I thought about law school? 350 00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:32,825 Of course, I loved Columbo so much growing up as a kid… 351 00:20:32,908 --> 00:20:35,283 Miranda realized that every woman in the room 352 00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:36,825 was staring at her date. 353 00:20:37,783 --> 00:20:41,075 That's the kind of case, typical case that I see on the job. 354 00:20:41,158 --> 00:20:44,450 Turns out, it's not as exciting as you might think. It's not homicide… 355 00:20:45,658 --> 00:20:47,658 And she knew what they were thinking. 356 00:20:47,741 --> 00:20:50,366 What is that incredibly attractive man doing with her? 357 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,116 If your friend didn't lose her shoes, then… 358 00:20:53,158 --> 00:20:54,783 I wouldn't be sitting here right now. 359 00:20:54,866 --> 00:20:55,991 Here you go. 360 00:20:58,283 --> 00:20:59,283 Thank you. 361 00:21:01,408 --> 00:21:03,533 So, she drank to feel better about herself. 362 00:21:11,950 --> 00:21:16,866 And six vodka martinis later, she was feeling pretty damn good. 363 00:21:17,325 --> 00:21:18,325 God, you're hot. 364 00:21:18,658 --> 00:21:20,325 And you're a little drunk. You know that? 365 00:21:20,408 --> 00:21:22,533 I'm fine. I'm great. 366 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:26,575 Hot, hot, hot. 367 00:21:27,241 --> 00:21:30,283 You may be the most beautiful man that I've ever been with. 368 00:21:30,908 --> 00:21:32,575 You know what, you're not so bad yourself. 369 00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:37,283 Well, I'm no Mena Suvari, but I'm great in bed. 370 00:21:37,825 --> 00:21:39,616 - Who… - Shh! 371 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,491 When Trey didn't come to bed that night, 372 00:21:45,575 --> 00:21:47,116 Charlotte went looking for him. 373 00:21:57,075 --> 00:21:58,533 What are you doing out here? 374 00:21:58,616 --> 00:21:59,950 Improving my serve. 375 00:22:02,616 --> 00:22:07,200 Trey stop. You're upset, and what I did was so wrong. 376 00:22:07,283 --> 00:22:09,533 - And I'm… I'm sorry. - Well, what can I say? 377 00:22:09,950 --> 00:22:11,450 I'm apparently unable to meet your needs, 378 00:22:11,533 --> 00:22:13,741 so from time to time, as much as I detest it, 379 00:22:14,658 --> 00:22:16,616 I guess, I'm just gonna have to look the other way. 380 00:22:18,408 --> 00:22:20,533 I don't want a husband who looks the other way. 381 00:22:20,616 --> 00:22:22,241 I want a husband who takes me in his arms 382 00:22:22,325 --> 00:22:24,408 and makes me not want to kiss the gardener. 383 00:22:36,491 --> 00:22:38,200 Charlotte, no marriage is perfect. 384 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,950 And so much of what we have is wonderful. 385 00:22:44,825 --> 00:22:47,825 We can have separate lives and still be together. 386 00:22:48,616 --> 00:22:49,616 It's totally acceptable. 387 00:22:50,783 --> 00:22:52,658 As Charlotte looked at her perfect husband 388 00:22:52,741 --> 00:22:54,491 on his perfect tennis court, 389 00:22:54,575 --> 00:22:57,158 at their family's perfect country house, 390 00:22:57,241 --> 00:22:59,491 she realized the one thing that was missing 391 00:22:59,575 --> 00:23:02,533 was that perfect connection with an imperfect person. 392 00:23:02,616 --> 00:23:03,616 Trey? 393 00:23:06,783 --> 00:23:07,908 When we get back to the city, 394 00:23:07,991 --> 00:23:10,741 I think that we should separate for a while. 395 00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:15,700 All righty. 396 00:23:22,450 --> 00:23:26,700 Seven unreturned phone calls, and still no response from Natasha. 397 00:23:27,158 --> 00:23:28,143 The Buddhists believe 398 00:23:28,158 --> 00:23:30,741 you pay for what you do wrong in this life, in the next. 399 00:23:31,241 --> 00:23:32,533 I knew what I'd done. 400 00:23:32,616 --> 00:23:34,991 I just didn't think I could wait a lifetime to be forgiven. 401 00:23:42,950 --> 00:23:44,116 The next morning, 402 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,408 Miranda woke up with the worst hangover of her life. 403 00:23:53,450 --> 00:23:54,616 Detective Stevens? 404 00:24:01,450 --> 00:24:02,825 On her hall table, 405 00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:05,616 she discovered that Detective Stevens had left a number. 406 00:24:07,450 --> 00:24:09,200 For her local AA chapter. 407 00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:12,533 And downtown, 408 00:24:12,616 --> 00:24:13,991 Samantha got her karmic retribution. 409 00:24:14,075 --> 00:24:16,616 I love you, Sam Jones! 410 00:24:16,700 --> 00:24:19,116 She realized that in screwing Sam Jones, 411 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,866 she wound up screwing herself. 412 00:24:20,950 --> 00:24:24,158 I love you, Sam Jones! 413 00:24:27,366 --> 00:24:28,866 A couple of days later, 414 00:24:28,950 --> 00:24:31,325 Charlotte came home to her old apartment. 415 00:24:31,741 --> 00:24:33,908 It was good fortune that she had only sublet it, 416 00:24:33,991 --> 00:24:35,616 not to mention good sense. 417 00:24:40,241 --> 00:24:43,700 Not wanting to come back in my next life as a dung beetle, 418 00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:46,908 I asked Samantha's assistant to pump Natasha's assistant 419 00:24:46,991 --> 00:24:49,158 to find out where she was having lunch. 420 00:25:01,158 --> 00:25:02,283 I need to talk to you. 421 00:25:03,325 --> 00:25:04,226 I'm gonna scream. 422 00:25:04,241 --> 00:25:05,950 Please don't. I'm only gonna stay a minute. 423 00:25:06,950 --> 00:25:08,825 I tried to call you at work, but… 424 00:25:10,241 --> 00:25:11,366 Anyway, it's not important. 425 00:25:14,075 --> 00:25:15,075 Okay. 426 00:25:15,783 --> 00:25:17,033 Can I have a sip of this? 427 00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:27,700 Thanks. 428 00:25:33,616 --> 00:25:35,700 I heard about your marriage. 429 00:25:37,866 --> 00:25:38,866 And it's… 430 00:25:39,366 --> 00:25:41,866 just so terrible. 431 00:25:43,366 --> 00:25:45,950 I never, never meant for any of this to happen. 432 00:25:46,033 --> 00:25:49,116 And if there was something that I could do to take it all away, I would. 433 00:25:50,533 --> 00:25:51,575 But I can't. 434 00:25:53,366 --> 00:25:57,616 So, I came here today because I needed to say how sorry I am. 435 00:25:58,825 --> 00:26:02,366 I am deeply sorry for what I did to you. 436 00:26:03,491 --> 00:26:04,700 It was wrong. 437 00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:07,616 And I'm sorry. 438 00:26:12,491 --> 00:26:13,491 Are you through? 439 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:16,950 Yes. 440 00:26:17,866 --> 00:26:19,033 Thank you for listening. 441 00:26:22,908 --> 00:26:23,908 Wait. 442 00:26:26,533 --> 00:26:27,658 I'm sorry, too. 443 00:26:29,783 --> 00:26:30,783 You are? 444 00:26:31,325 --> 00:26:32,325 Yes. 445 00:26:33,283 --> 00:26:34,450 I'm sorry about it all. 446 00:26:37,575 --> 00:26:40,200 I'm sorry he moved to Paris and fell in love with me. 447 00:26:42,241 --> 00:26:44,200 I'm sorry that we ever got married. 448 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,616 I'm sorry he cheated on me with you, 449 00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:52,325 and I'm sorry that I pretended to ignore it for as long as I did. 450 00:26:55,450 --> 00:26:57,366 I'm sorry I found you in my apartment, 451 00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,116 fell down the stairs and broke my tooth. 452 00:27:02,741 --> 00:27:06,075 I'm very sorry that after much painful dental surgery 453 00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:09,158 this tooth is still a different color than this tooth. 454 00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:14,325 Finally, I'm sorry that you felt the need to come down here. 455 00:27:16,658 --> 00:27:19,450 Now, not only have you ruined my marriage, 456 00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,075 you've ruined my lunch. 457 00:27:27,283 --> 00:27:29,033 I guess that's just what I had to say. 458 00:27:31,158 --> 00:27:32,283 Natasha. 459 00:27:32,366 --> 00:27:33,491 I was just leaving. 460 00:27:38,075 --> 00:27:40,075 As I walked away, I realized 461 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:43,741 my actions had set into motion a karmic chain of events 462 00:27:43,825 --> 00:27:46,700 that put Natasha back on the singles market. 463 00:27:46,783 --> 00:27:49,241 As if single women in New York didn't have it hard enough. 464 00:28:00,991 --> 00:28:03,950 And somewhere out there, Big was alone again. 465 00:28:04,950 --> 00:28:07,408 The universe may not always play fair, 466 00:28:07,491 --> 00:28:10,533 but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor.