1 00:00:56,903 --> 00:01:00,570 I once met a man With a sense of adventure 2 00:01:00,653 --> 00:01:04,403 He was dressed to thrill Wherever he went 3 00:01:04,486 --> 00:01:07,695 He said Let's make love on a mountain top 4 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:11,570 Under the stars on a big hard rock 5 00:01:11,653 --> 00:01:13,486 I said, In these shoes? 6 00:01:15,111 --> 00:01:16,653 I don't think so… 7 00:01:16,736 --> 00:01:17,861 If you are single, 8 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,070 there is one thing you should always take with you 9 00:01:20,153 --> 00:01:21,653 when you go out on a Saturday night. 10 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:23,320 Your friends. 11 00:01:23,861 --> 00:01:25,278 Why are we walking so fast? 12 00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:28,111 Really, are we in that big of a hurry to get to an engagement party? 13 00:01:28,195 --> 00:01:31,570 - What, don't you guys want to go? - I did, until I saw this invitation. 14 00:01:31,653 --> 00:01:33,486 - Here. Let me see that again. - Ugh! 15 00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:35,903 "Two souls, one thought." Wow, that is sappy. 16 00:01:35,986 --> 00:01:37,528 That is totally not like Danny. 17 00:01:37,611 --> 00:01:40,820 Must've been her idea. Two souls, one pushy fiancée. 18 00:01:40,903 --> 00:01:43,278 Oh, come on, it's beautiful. 19 00:01:43,361 --> 00:01:46,611 It's a big, romantic gesture to express how they feel about each other. 20 00:01:46,695 --> 00:01:48,986 If two people have only one thought between them… 21 00:01:49,070 --> 00:01:50,861 …something is very wrong. Ooh, cab. 22 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,945 I remember when Danny had more than one thought, 23 00:01:54,028 --> 00:01:55,945 and they all involved going up my ass. 24 00:01:56,028 --> 00:01:57,403 You had sex with Danny? 25 00:01:57,486 --> 00:01:59,986 He's cute, straight, and we've known him for ten years. 26 00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:02,111 Haven't we all had sex with Danny? 27 00:02:02,195 --> 00:02:04,028 Oh, yeah, that one weekend that I was bored. 28 00:02:04,111 --> 00:02:05,736 Just a New Year's Eve kiss. 29 00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,986 I showed him a boob in a coat-check room. 30 00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:09,070 Just one? 31 00:02:09,153 --> 00:02:10,778 - I sensed he couldn't commit. - Mmm. 32 00:02:11,111 --> 00:02:12,445 Okay. We're over here. 33 00:02:13,361 --> 00:02:17,903 Ooh. Baby lamb chops. This is quite a spread. 34 00:02:18,236 --> 00:02:20,070 Two souls, one big budget. 35 00:02:21,153 --> 00:02:23,611 There he was, the fiancé du jour. 36 00:02:23,695 --> 00:02:25,861 Hey, look who's here! 37 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:28,153 - Congratulations! - Thanks. 38 00:02:28,236 --> 00:02:31,320 - And this is my other half, Hailey. - Congratulations. 39 00:02:31,403 --> 00:02:33,403 Hailey, this is Carrie and Charlotte. 40 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,820 - Miranda. - Oh, Miranda. 41 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,153 Right. Duh! Sorry. I'm just a little overwhelmed. 42 00:02:40,236 --> 00:02:41,236 Danny! 43 00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:44,195 Couldn't remember my name? 44 00:02:44,278 --> 00:02:46,153 Maybe you should've showed him both boobs. 45 00:02:47,028 --> 00:02:49,736 And across the room from the two-soul couple… 46 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:51,820 I told the other numb-nuts I wanted a Grey Goose on the rocks 47 00:02:51,903 --> 00:02:52,805 a fucking hour ago. 48 00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:54,986 - Chop, chop. - …a man with no soul. 49 00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:57,986 So, Phil, what is it that you do? 50 00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,570 I'm a TV agent, and I fucking love it. 51 00:03:01,653 --> 00:03:04,903 Ooh, what a beautiful wedding ring. Where's your husband? 52 00:03:05,445 --> 00:03:08,945 - Oh, um… He's not here. - Oh. 53 00:03:09,028 --> 00:03:12,278 We're actually taking some time apart. We're separated. 54 00:03:12,361 --> 00:03:15,611 Not legally separated, nothing legal. Oh, God, no. 55 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:19,028 We're just taking some time to figure things out. 56 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,445 We got married really fast. Love at first sight. 57 00:03:22,111 --> 00:03:23,320 Didn't think it through. 58 00:03:23,778 --> 00:03:27,278 So now we're talking and trying to figure out what he… 59 00:03:27,361 --> 00:03:31,236 actually we, he and I, really want. 60 00:03:31,736 --> 00:03:33,361 We love each other so much, 61 00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:36,403 but that doesn't always mean a marriage is working, does it? 62 00:03:36,486 --> 00:03:37,570 No, it does not. 63 00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:40,445 We had some problems in the bedroom. 64 00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:43,945 But it was more about the fact that we got married so fast. 65 00:03:44,611 --> 00:03:47,695 So now we're just talking and trying to figure things out. 66 00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:51,070 Just talking, nothing physical. I think it's better if we just talk. 67 00:03:51,611 --> 00:03:54,695 So we are talking till we figure it all out. 68 00:03:54,778 --> 00:03:56,986 So, no, he's not here. 69 00:03:57,486 --> 00:04:00,028 Oh. Okay. I have to… 70 00:04:01,945 --> 00:04:02,945 Don't talk to her. 71 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:07,903 Charlotte realized that she and Trey were two souls 72 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,320 with too many thoughts. 73 00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:13,736 The minute we met it was perfect. I knew we were meant to be together. 74 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,153 I could stop looking, I had found him. 75 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,486 Congratulations! 76 00:04:18,570 --> 00:04:19,570 And what about you guys? 77 00:04:19,945 --> 00:04:21,986 Oh. Well, I'm not dating anyone. 78 00:04:22,486 --> 00:04:24,986 And what about you, Miranda? Seeing anyone special? 79 00:04:25,403 --> 00:04:28,736 Actually, no. But I am seeing a whole bunch of unspecial guys. 80 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:31,778 That's one of the requirements to date me. 81 00:04:31,861 --> 00:04:34,236 "Are you special? Sorry, move along. 82 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,861 But if you have any unspecial friends, could you give them my number?" 83 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,278 I'm serious. Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend 84 00:04:41,361 --> 00:04:44,278 or maybe a house plant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night? 85 00:04:44,861 --> 00:04:46,111 She's hilarious. 86 00:04:49,361 --> 00:04:50,361 Ugh. 87 00:04:51,278 --> 00:04:53,403 Hey, what the hell was going on in there? 88 00:04:53,486 --> 00:04:56,320 Felt like your little comedy routine should have a two-drink minimum. 89 00:04:56,403 --> 00:04:59,320 We were standing in a group of married or engaged women. 90 00:04:59,403 --> 00:05:01,278 Just trying to avoid the pity party. 91 00:05:01,361 --> 00:05:02,945 And here I thought it was a cocktail party. 92 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:05,236 We were the only single people in there. 93 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,945 Miranda, we're the only single people anywhere. 94 00:05:08,028 --> 00:05:10,320 Are you telling me that you didn't see all those 95 00:05:10,403 --> 00:05:13,070 "Don't worry, you'll find someone" looks? 96 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:15,778 - Nope, didn't see them. - Hey. 97 00:05:15,861 --> 00:05:19,278 Society views single people our age as sad and pathetic. 98 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,361 And I don't need that judgement hanging over my head 99 00:05:21,445 --> 00:05:23,445 so I go on the offensive and I make them laugh. 100 00:05:23,528 --> 00:05:24,528 Okay, Shecky. 101 00:05:25,861 --> 00:05:26,861 You know what? 102 00:05:27,403 --> 00:05:30,528 Sometimes I think people in couples look at us and wish they had our lives. 103 00:05:30,611 --> 00:05:31,611 Nope. 104 00:05:31,653 --> 00:05:34,403 We make them uncomfortable, and they don't know what to say. 105 00:05:34,903 --> 00:05:36,736 And you're sure you're not overreacting? 106 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:37,820 Yeah. 107 00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:45,861 Coming. 108 00:05:48,611 --> 00:05:49,611 God. 109 00:05:50,361 --> 00:05:51,361 Yes! 110 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:55,611 What are we doing? 111 00:05:56,653 --> 00:05:57,653 Good night. 112 00:05:58,445 --> 00:05:59,445 Charlotte. 113 00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:02,570 My God, I thought it was the four horsemen of the apocalypse. 114 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:05,528 I cannot go to any more parties until I know what we're going to do. 115 00:06:06,111 --> 00:06:08,195 - About what? - Us! 116 00:06:10,528 --> 00:06:12,320 I've been up for hours trying to figure out 117 00:06:12,403 --> 00:06:14,070 if we should stay together in spite of our issues. 118 00:06:14,153 --> 00:06:16,278 Look, I don't want to confuse you, so I made some notes. 119 00:06:17,361 --> 00:06:20,445 - You made some notes? - Yeah, it helps me to be clear. 120 00:06:20,528 --> 00:06:22,445 One, sex life. 121 00:06:23,445 --> 00:06:25,570 Well, the sex we had on the floor of your apartment 122 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:26,945 was, uh, quite good, actually. 123 00:06:27,028 --> 00:06:28,195 One time. 124 00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:30,111 That does not a marriage make. 125 00:06:30,986 --> 00:06:33,278 Come inside. Maybe we can rack up a new score. 126 00:06:33,361 --> 00:06:37,486 Uh-uh. Two, you only want me when you can't have me. 127 00:06:38,486 --> 00:06:42,486 Did you make a note in there that mentions how beautiful you look tonight? 128 00:06:47,945 --> 00:06:50,236 We have some big decisions to make. 129 00:06:52,778 --> 00:06:53,778 Trey. 130 00:06:56,070 --> 00:06:57,445 You have a boner. 131 00:06:57,528 --> 00:06:58,820 Well, you are just so beautiful. 132 00:06:59,403 --> 00:07:02,070 I can't discuss my notes if you have a boner. 133 00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:03,486 - Come inside. - Oh. 134 00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:06,028 I cannot come inside, we are separated. 135 00:07:08,736 --> 00:07:10,236 I have more notes. 136 00:07:10,653 --> 00:07:13,653 I think about you every night. May I take off your panties? 137 00:07:13,736 --> 00:07:15,570 - Don't. - All righty. 138 00:07:18,236 --> 00:07:20,528 You said you didn't want to be married. 139 00:07:21,445 --> 00:07:24,320 But now I don't know if I want to be married. 140 00:07:27,111 --> 00:07:29,695 Trey, are you… 141 00:07:31,736 --> 00:07:34,736 That night, neither Charlotte nor Trey came inside. 142 00:07:39,278 --> 00:07:40,695 I'm not quite sure what to say. 143 00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:44,445 I'm sorry, Charlotte, may I get you a hankie? 144 00:07:45,653 --> 00:07:47,445 It's too late for a hankie. 145 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,945 This isn't working. 146 00:07:53,778 --> 00:07:57,320 Whatever this is we're doing, it isn't working. 147 00:08:04,236 --> 00:08:07,070 Just please stop calling me. 148 00:08:07,986 --> 00:08:10,153 I'll call you when I've figured out what I want. 149 00:08:10,736 --> 00:08:12,778 Charlotte, I love you. 150 00:08:14,986 --> 00:08:16,486 Send me the dry cleaning bill. 151 00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:17,986 Trey may have had a lot of flaws, 152 00:08:18,070 --> 00:08:19,986 but bad manners wasn't one of them. 153 00:08:27,903 --> 00:08:30,736 It was a lovely, uneventful Saturday morning. 154 00:08:31,403 --> 00:08:33,653 Three lattes, two newspapers, and… 155 00:08:36,778 --> 00:08:38,653 one dating-service application. 156 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:42,695 "Dear single." "Single"? You don't even have a name? 157 00:08:42,778 --> 00:08:44,736 Well, I'm single, I don't deserve one. 158 00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:47,361 That's the postal equivalent of a drive-by shooting. 159 00:08:47,445 --> 00:08:49,361 Yeah, and I thought those 57 menus I get every day 160 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,278 from Hunan Moonan were annoying. 161 00:08:51,361 --> 00:08:54,528 Look at this. "Don't let your soul mate slip away." 162 00:08:54,611 --> 00:08:55,945 Oh, I know. It's almost a threat. 163 00:08:56,028 --> 00:08:58,278 It's like, "We have him. He's just waiting for you. 164 00:08:58,361 --> 00:09:00,945 But hurry 'cause he's slipping, slipping away. Oops, there he goes." 165 00:09:01,028 --> 00:09:04,570 Soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle in Duane Reade drugs. 166 00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:05,778 I disagree. 167 00:09:06,111 --> 00:09:09,861 I believe there's that one perfect person out there to complete you. 168 00:09:09,945 --> 00:09:12,320 And if you don't find him? What, you're incomplete? 169 00:09:12,403 --> 00:09:14,111 It's so dangerous. 170 00:09:14,195 --> 00:09:17,945 All right, first of all, the idea that there's only one out there… 171 00:09:18,028 --> 00:09:19,861 Why don't I just shoot myself right now? 172 00:09:20,403 --> 00:09:22,986 I'd like to think that people have more than one soul mate. 173 00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:25,028 I agree, I've had hundreds. 174 00:09:25,111 --> 00:09:27,278 Yeah, and if you miss one, along comes another, like cabs. 175 00:09:27,361 --> 00:09:29,611 No, that is not how it works. 176 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,361 Oh. Okay. 177 00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:33,278 But you're still looking outside yourself. 178 00:09:33,361 --> 00:09:34,903 It's saying that you're not enough. 179 00:09:34,986 --> 00:09:37,570 - Are you enough? - Actually, today she's too much. 180 00:09:37,653 --> 00:09:40,320 Look, the bad thing about the one perfect soul mate 181 00:09:40,403 --> 00:09:43,070 is that it's so unattainable. You're being set up to fail. 182 00:09:43,153 --> 00:09:45,403 Exactly, and you feel bad about yourself. 183 00:09:45,486 --> 00:09:46,486 Yeah, that makes the gap 184 00:09:46,528 --> 00:09:49,111 between the Holy Grail and the assholes even bigger. 185 00:09:49,195 --> 00:09:52,236 I don't care. I believe in soul mates. 186 00:09:52,986 --> 00:09:54,445 I thought Trey was mine. 187 00:09:55,403 --> 00:09:57,570 But I don't think that a soul mate would… 188 00:09:57,653 --> 00:09:59,361 - on your leg. - Mmm. 189 00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:00,903 Really true. 190 00:10:00,986 --> 00:10:03,570 But there's got to be that someone out there who's just perfect for me. 191 00:10:04,153 --> 00:10:05,361 Maybe I should keep looking. 192 00:10:06,028 --> 00:10:07,028 Here you go. 193 00:10:07,528 --> 00:10:11,236 - Okay, we're filling this out. - No, I'm not in the mood. 194 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,611 Not for you, for her. 195 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,195 - Oh, okay! - No. 196 00:10:14,278 --> 00:10:15,361 Yes! 197 00:10:15,445 --> 00:10:20,028 "Age. Check box. 20 to 25, 25 to 30, 30 to 34." 198 00:10:20,111 --> 00:10:22,278 No, not after next week. 199 00:10:22,361 --> 00:10:23,986 Birthday girl. 200 00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:25,528 Thirty-five. 201 00:10:25,611 --> 00:10:26,861 "35 to 44." 202 00:10:26,945 --> 00:10:29,320 Honey, welcome to my box. 203 00:10:35,611 --> 00:10:39,236 Soul mate. Two little words, one big concept. 204 00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:44,486 A belief that someone, somewhere is holding the key to your heart, 205 00:10:44,570 --> 00:10:46,028 and your dream house. 206 00:10:46,111 --> 00:10:48,070 All you have to do is find them. 207 00:10:48,611 --> 00:10:50,778 So where is this person? 208 00:10:51,361 --> 00:10:54,361 And if you loved someone and it didn't work out, 209 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,278 does that mean they weren't your soul mate? 210 00:10:56,861 --> 00:10:59,486 Were they just a runner-up contestant in this game show 211 00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:01,070 called Happily Ever After? 212 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:05,236 And as you move from age box to age box, 213 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,903 and the contestants get fewer and fewer, 214 00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:11,320 are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less? 215 00:11:12,528 --> 00:11:15,570 Soul mates, reality or torture device? 216 00:11:17,403 --> 00:11:21,611 What about a little birthday dinner? Il Cantinori, something nice. 217 00:11:21,695 --> 00:11:25,695 Hmm. I'm not sure I want to do anything. I'm kind of into laying low. 218 00:11:25,778 --> 00:11:29,236 - Laying low or feeling low? - No, I'm fine. 219 00:11:29,611 --> 00:11:32,528 Oh, come on, you've got to do better than that. 220 00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:35,945 You've got to grab 35 by the balls and say, "Hey, world, I'm 35!" 221 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,611 Okay, calm down, Auntie Mame. 222 00:11:37,695 --> 00:11:40,320 I'll put the dinner together. All you have to do is show up. 223 00:11:40,403 --> 00:11:43,111 Just close friends, very fabulous-lite. 224 00:11:44,278 --> 00:11:45,445 All right. Yeah. 225 00:11:46,111 --> 00:11:47,903 That sounds fun, thank you. 226 00:11:49,611 --> 00:11:50,736 Should I invite Big? 227 00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:54,528 What, are you slowly trying to kill me on the way to lunch? 228 00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:56,861 Technically you are friends now, right? 229 00:11:57,486 --> 00:12:00,736 Uh, you know, a phone call here and there. It's friendly. 230 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,236 Why, do you think I should I invite him? 231 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:03,528 Oh, honey, how should I know? 232 00:12:03,611 --> 00:12:05,486 When I'm done with them, I'm done with them. 233 00:12:06,445 --> 00:12:08,278 Maybe not. Besides, I think he's still in London. 234 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,736 Let's just keep it to low-maintenance friends. 235 00:12:11,486 --> 00:12:12,486 All right. 236 00:12:14,653 --> 00:12:16,153 Hey, welcome. Come in. Come in. 237 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,236 He is hot. 238 00:12:19,736 --> 00:12:22,570 - He is a priest. - He is a hot priest. 239 00:12:22,653 --> 00:12:27,070 Look at his robe. It's so "Robin and his merry men." 240 00:12:27,153 --> 00:12:28,236 Está bien. Gracias. 241 00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:31,445 Ugh! You tell them, Friar Fuck. 242 00:12:34,236 --> 00:12:37,153 Okay, sister, let's go. I'm not gonna lose my table at Pastis 243 00:12:37,236 --> 00:12:38,861 so you can cruise a holy man. 244 00:12:38,945 --> 00:12:40,320 What street are we on, again? 245 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,403 That Sunday, Samantha went to church. 246 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:53,320 - Good morning. - Good morning. 247 00:12:53,403 --> 00:12:54,653 I couldn't help but notice 248 00:12:54,736 --> 00:12:56,778 all the good work you're doing in the neighborhood, 249 00:12:56,861 --> 00:12:59,445 and I just stopped to see if I could be of service. 250 00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,695 Well, we could use another hand in the kitchen. 251 00:13:03,070 --> 00:13:04,861 I'm in public relations. 252 00:13:04,945 --> 00:13:08,028 And I was thinking maybe I could help put a benefit together. 253 00:13:08,111 --> 00:13:10,278 Something classy, respectful. 254 00:13:10,361 --> 00:13:13,486 I can guarantee Donald Trump and Marlo Thomas. 255 00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:17,111 Thank you, but here at All Souls, we're a little more low-key than that. 256 00:13:17,195 --> 00:13:20,361 We're more about collecting food, canned goods to feed to the needy. 257 00:13:21,736 --> 00:13:22,736 So… 258 00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:25,028 I love your robe. 259 00:13:25,111 --> 00:13:26,528 This is what we wear. 260 00:13:27,278 --> 00:13:29,528 I'm in the Franciscan order founded by St. Francis. 261 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,986 - Oh. - The robe is, uh… 262 00:13:33,486 --> 00:13:34,736 Do you really want to hear about this? 263 00:13:35,278 --> 00:13:38,278 Oh. Tell me more about this St. Francis. 264 00:13:38,361 --> 00:13:42,195 He lived his life based on the vows of poverty and chastity. 265 00:13:42,986 --> 00:13:43,986 Here. 266 00:13:47,945 --> 00:13:49,736 It's St. Francis giving his coat to the poor. 267 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:58,153 Samantha Jones, public relations. 268 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,611 If you change your mind about the benefit… 269 00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:03,820 or anything. 270 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:11,820 And just like that, Samantha went from Mr. No Soul 271 00:14:12,653 --> 00:14:14,070 to Mr. All Souls. 272 00:14:17,611 --> 00:14:20,611 After church, most people go out for pancakes. 273 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,153 Samantha wasn't most people. 274 00:14:41,570 --> 00:14:45,320 Samantha, your face is glowing. Did you get a facial or something? 275 00:14:46,111 --> 00:14:48,028 I masturbated all afternoon. 276 00:14:48,111 --> 00:14:51,195 - All right, then. - Seriously? All afternoon? 277 00:14:51,278 --> 00:14:52,861 Well, two, two-and-a-half hours. 278 00:14:52,945 --> 00:14:55,528 Who's got that kind of time? I like to get in and get out. 279 00:14:55,611 --> 00:14:57,653 I enjoy a quickie every now and then too, 280 00:14:57,736 --> 00:14:59,736 but when it's good like today, I go with it. 281 00:15:00,361 --> 00:15:02,486 I masturbated to my priest. 282 00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:04,653 - Your priest? - Friar Fuck. 283 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,486 Okay, I think we might have to get Charlotte a crash helmet. 284 00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:09,028 You have a priest? 285 00:15:09,111 --> 00:15:12,236 No. She wants him, but she can't have him. 286 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,236 It's all very Thorn Birds. 287 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,320 In my fantasy, 288 00:15:15,861 --> 00:15:18,736 he tears the food I'm carrying for the homeless out of my arms, 289 00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:20,736 rips open my dress, 290 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,653 lays me down in the street and enters me. 291 00:15:24,653 --> 00:15:26,736 What do you do for the next two hours and twenty minutes? 292 00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:28,986 Stop, you are talking about a priest. 293 00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:33,361 It's a fantasy. I can masturbate to whomever I like. It's imagination. 294 00:15:33,445 --> 00:15:35,445 It's fun and perfectly healthy. 295 00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:37,736 Who do you all fantasize about? 296 00:15:38,445 --> 00:15:39,528 Russell Crowe. 297 00:15:39,611 --> 00:15:41,528 Jinx! You owe me a Coke. 298 00:15:42,111 --> 00:15:45,195 That's amazing. What did women do before Russell Crowe? 299 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,028 George Clooney. 300 00:15:47,111 --> 00:15:50,528 Ah, Clooney. Clooney's like a Chanel suit. 301 00:15:50,611 --> 00:15:52,111 He'll always be in style. 302 00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:55,403 I used to masturbate to a busboy who was rude to me once. 303 00:15:55,486 --> 00:15:56,486 What do you think that means? 304 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,153 Fine, the cheese stands alone. 305 00:16:01,236 --> 00:16:02,611 Oh, come on, Charlotte. 306 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,111 Get that judgmental puss off, and join in. 307 00:16:05,195 --> 00:16:06,820 Who do you fantasize about? 308 00:16:07,195 --> 00:16:09,445 No, it's private. 309 00:16:09,528 --> 00:16:12,611 Oh, come on, it can't be any worse than a priest and a busboy. 310 00:16:12,695 --> 00:16:15,945 We're not moving on till you tell us about one of your masturbation guys. 311 00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:18,778 Well, it's not guys. 312 00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:21,820 Lately, it's just one man. 313 00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:22,903 L.L. Bean? 314 00:16:23,903 --> 00:16:24,903 No. 315 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:26,986 Trey. 316 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:32,403 And we have this really, you know, perfect sex. 317 00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:34,986 What do you think it means? 318 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:55,070 This is 459-1905. I'm not in, so please leave a message. 319 00:16:55,903 --> 00:16:57,445 Hey. Uh… 320 00:16:57,528 --> 00:16:59,570 I think you're still in England, 321 00:16:59,653 --> 00:17:04,153 but it's midnight here in New York, and it's my birthday. 322 00:17:05,445 --> 00:17:06,986 I am officially old. 323 00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:11,195 So, um, I felt the need to call someone… 324 00:17:11,986 --> 00:17:13,611 older. 325 00:17:13,695 --> 00:17:14,695 Um… 326 00:17:14,778 --> 00:17:17,861 Anyway, some friends are giving me a dinner tomorrow night. 327 00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:20,820 Actually it's tonight, and you're a friend. 328 00:17:20,903 --> 00:17:23,778 So if you are back in town, 329 00:17:23,861 --> 00:17:27,778 it's going to be at Il Cantinori at 8:30. 330 00:17:27,861 --> 00:17:29,736 And if you're 331 00:17:30,528 --> 00:17:32,195 still in London, 332 00:17:32,736 --> 00:17:35,111 then, um, cheerio, old chap. 333 00:17:35,695 --> 00:17:37,153 So, okay. 334 00:17:44,195 --> 00:17:45,945 The next day, on Wall Street… 335 00:17:46,028 --> 00:17:47,028 Miranda? 336 00:17:48,445 --> 00:17:50,945 Sheila, hi! How are you? 337 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,653 I'm fantastic! Oh, gosh! 338 00:17:52,736 --> 00:17:55,570 Joe and I just got back from New Orleans. So how are you? 339 00:17:55,653 --> 00:17:56,986 Are you seeing anyone special? 340 00:17:58,195 --> 00:18:00,195 But Miranda wasn't feeling very Shecky. 341 00:18:00,278 --> 00:18:01,486 Actually, no, I'm not. 342 00:18:01,570 --> 00:18:03,903 Well… Look, he's out there for you somewhere. 343 00:18:03,986 --> 00:18:05,320 You just haven't met him yet, right? 344 00:18:05,778 --> 00:18:09,236 Maybe, maybe not. I don't know if I believe all that. 345 00:18:09,986 --> 00:18:12,403 Maybe there isn't someone for everyone. 346 00:18:12,861 --> 00:18:14,736 There it was. The truth. 347 00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:17,778 No Hallmark hope, no two-drink minimum. 348 00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:21,153 So how is Joe? You guys have been married for how many years now? 349 00:18:21,236 --> 00:18:22,278 - Five. - Wow. 350 00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:25,278 And I bet you're thinking, "Where are the kids?" Right? Right? 351 00:18:25,361 --> 00:18:28,028 It's like I said to Joe. We can have kids 352 00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:31,111 or we can have gorgeous fabric without chocolate stains. 353 00:18:31,195 --> 00:18:34,736 Miranda realized it's not just about being single. 354 00:18:34,820 --> 00:18:38,361 Everyone has a sore spot that needs a little comedy routine. 355 00:18:38,445 --> 00:18:39,695 …let alone a poopy diaper. 356 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,986 And so, Miranda laughed. 357 00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:46,195 Not because it was particularly funny, but because it was kind. 358 00:18:46,278 --> 00:18:47,278 …could you imagine? 359 00:18:55,195 --> 00:18:56,611 They told me you were inside. 360 00:18:58,028 --> 00:18:59,111 Am I disturbing you? 361 00:19:00,945 --> 00:19:01,945 May I join you? 362 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,986 I was thinking about you yesterday. 363 00:19:17,695 --> 00:19:19,653 You and the work that you do. 364 00:19:22,153 --> 00:19:23,320 I was at the market. 365 00:19:30,653 --> 00:19:32,070 They're Le Sueur peas. 366 00:19:33,695 --> 00:19:34,736 They're the best. 367 00:19:35,236 --> 00:19:36,236 That's very kind. 368 00:19:37,361 --> 00:19:38,361 Thank you. 369 00:19:42,236 --> 00:19:43,903 I have a confession to make. 370 00:19:45,403 --> 00:19:48,153 I think about you other places than the market. 371 00:19:50,986 --> 00:19:52,736 Do you ever think about me? 372 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,361 I believe that God made the body. 373 00:19:57,820 --> 00:19:59,445 And it's perfect in its splendor. 374 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,611 But I'm not of my body. 375 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:07,153 My life is about other joys. 376 00:20:18,778 --> 00:20:22,028 Samantha wondered if maybe the hot monk was her soul mate 377 00:20:22,111 --> 00:20:24,028 as he was certainly unattainable. 378 00:20:26,445 --> 00:20:29,153 I arrived at my party after a day of shopping. 379 00:20:29,236 --> 00:20:31,028 With no true soul mate, 380 00:20:31,111 --> 00:20:33,820 I spent the afternoon with my shoe soul mate, 381 00:20:33,903 --> 00:20:35,111 Manolo Blahnik. 382 00:20:35,195 --> 00:20:36,695 Oh, good evening, can I help you? 383 00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,070 Yes, Bradshaw, party of ten. 384 00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:43,403 Yes. You're the first to arrive. Follow me, please. 385 00:20:47,153 --> 00:20:50,153 It's 8:45… The reservation was for 8:30, right? 386 00:20:50,236 --> 00:20:52,361 - Yeah, that's right. Here you go. - Okay. 387 00:20:53,570 --> 00:20:55,153 - Enjoy. - Thank you. 388 00:20:58,445 --> 00:20:59,820 - Hi. - Hi. 389 00:20:59,903 --> 00:21:01,486 Would you like a drink whilst you're waiting? 390 00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:04,570 Uh, yeah. I'll have a Shirley Temple, please. 391 00:21:05,195 --> 00:21:06,403 Once everyone else gets here, 392 00:21:06,486 --> 00:21:07,986 we're gonna be drinking a lot of champagne. 393 00:21:08,070 --> 00:21:09,736 Good, great, excellent. 394 00:21:20,945 --> 00:21:23,736 Twenty minutes later, still no party. 395 00:21:27,445 --> 00:21:29,403 Hi. Still alone. 396 00:21:29,486 --> 00:21:32,945 Um, did anyone call asking for Bradshaw? 397 00:21:33,028 --> 00:21:36,195 Not that I'm aware of. Let me check with the maitre d'. 398 00:21:36,278 --> 00:21:37,278 Okay, thanks. 399 00:21:40,778 --> 00:21:42,111 Can I bring you some champagne now? 400 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,361 No, not yet. 401 00:21:44,445 --> 00:21:46,445 Good, great, excellent. 402 00:21:49,028 --> 00:21:52,445 Happy birthday to you 403 00:21:53,028 --> 00:21:56,820 Happy birthday to you 404 00:21:56,903 --> 00:22:01,653 Happy birthday, dear Marta 405 00:22:01,736 --> 00:22:05,153 Happy birthday to you 406 00:22:05,236 --> 00:22:08,570 Twenty-five! Fuck, I'm old! 407 00:22:20,236 --> 00:22:21,236 Hi. 408 00:22:22,861 --> 00:22:25,653 Sorry for holding the table. I can't imagine where everybody is. 409 00:22:25,736 --> 00:22:28,236 There is only one Il Cantinori, right? 410 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,153 - Yes. - Okay. 411 00:22:30,236 --> 00:22:31,236 Um… 412 00:22:32,236 --> 00:22:36,528 The woman with the birthday cake is here and she needs to be paid. 413 00:22:37,611 --> 00:22:38,611 Oh. 414 00:22:38,986 --> 00:22:39,986 Okay. 415 00:22:40,070 --> 00:22:41,736 I'll just get my purse. 416 00:22:44,236 --> 00:22:47,736 After I paid $70 for my own birthday cake, 417 00:22:47,820 --> 00:22:50,278 I was totally out of the party mood. 418 00:22:50,361 --> 00:22:53,070 So I decided to go home and kill myself. 419 00:22:53,153 --> 00:22:55,861 - Hey, whoa, lady, what are you doing? - Get off of there! 420 00:22:55,945 --> 00:22:57,445 Look where you're standing! It's right there! 421 00:22:57,528 --> 00:23:00,611 - It's wet, get the hell off there! - No, the other way! 422 00:23:00,695 --> 00:23:02,861 - The other way, for Chrissakes! - Come on! 423 00:23:04,570 --> 00:23:05,570 For crying out loud! 424 00:23:12,945 --> 00:23:15,028 Jesus Christ! Don't pick up the cake! 425 00:23:18,236 --> 00:23:20,028 - She's picking it up! - I'm sorry! 426 00:23:20,111 --> 00:23:22,070 Marilyn Monroe, do me a fucking favor, get off the road! 427 00:23:22,570 --> 00:23:24,153 I'm sorry! 428 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,945 - Sorry. We'll bring some beer over. - Shit. 429 00:23:27,028 --> 00:23:29,820 I'm sorry! God! 430 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,861 By the time I got home, I had fallen into an emotional hole so deep 431 00:23:34,945 --> 00:23:37,653 only a fireman without a collarbone could rescue me. 432 00:23:38,820 --> 00:23:40,903 You have 14 messages. 433 00:23:41,611 --> 00:23:44,611 Honey, I'm trapped at work, I'll be ten minutes late. 434 00:23:44,695 --> 00:23:46,570 The reservation line is busy, I'll see you soon. 435 00:23:47,570 --> 00:23:50,820 Carrie, I'm in traffic. They're paving Fifth Avenue. 436 00:23:50,903 --> 00:23:53,486 No one can get through, don't wait for me. Happy birthday! 437 00:23:53,570 --> 00:23:55,986 I'm stuck in fucking traffic. 438 00:23:56,070 --> 00:23:59,278 I don't know how to spell Il Cantinori for the idiot at 411. 439 00:23:59,361 --> 00:24:01,320 Get a cell phone! 440 00:24:01,403 --> 00:24:04,820 Carrie, it's Stanford. I'm at the wrong place. 441 00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:06,361 Did you know there's a Mexican restaurant 442 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,195 on University and 11th called El Cantinoro? 443 00:24:14,111 --> 00:24:15,486 Carrie. 444 00:24:15,570 --> 00:24:17,528 Okay, I'm here. They said you just left. 445 00:24:17,611 --> 00:24:19,445 Where are you? We're still here. 446 00:24:21,153 --> 00:24:23,570 Okay, so now we're coming uptown. 447 00:24:23,653 --> 00:24:25,778 Meet you at the coffee shop in 20 minutes. 448 00:24:25,861 --> 00:24:27,820 End of messages. 449 00:24:28,403 --> 00:24:29,528 Carrie? 450 00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:33,903 It's just me. It's just me. Charlotte. 451 00:24:36,528 --> 00:24:38,570 I just aged 35 more years. 452 00:24:42,070 --> 00:24:43,528 What are you doing here? 453 00:24:43,611 --> 00:24:46,320 I'm sorry, I came to take you to the coffee shop. 454 00:24:46,403 --> 00:24:47,486 No. Uh-uh. I'm going to bed. 455 00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:50,195 I am not in the mood to be with a bunch of people. 456 00:24:50,278 --> 00:24:53,320 Oh, come on, it's just the four of us. You have to come, it's your birthday. 457 00:24:53,861 --> 00:24:56,945 Oh. I'm aware of that. 458 00:25:00,528 --> 00:25:02,861 The longer I sat at that table, the more alone I felt. 459 00:25:02,945 --> 00:25:06,403 And it really hit me. I am 35 and alone. 460 00:25:06,486 --> 00:25:07,820 You are not alone. 461 00:25:07,903 --> 00:25:09,736 No, I know I have you guys, but… 462 00:25:11,361 --> 00:25:14,153 And really, I hate myself a little for saying this, but… 463 00:25:17,778 --> 00:25:19,111 it felt really sad 464 00:25:20,778 --> 00:25:23,486 not to have a man in my life who cares about me. 465 00:25:26,278 --> 00:25:28,736 No special guy to wish me happy birthday. 466 00:25:31,903 --> 00:25:33,445 No goddamn soul mate. 467 00:25:36,070 --> 00:25:37,945 And I don't even know if I believe in soul mates. 468 00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:47,111 Don't laugh at me, 469 00:25:48,986 --> 00:25:50,945 but maybe we could be each other's soul mates. 470 00:25:53,278 --> 00:25:55,361 And then we could let men be 471 00:25:55,445 --> 00:25:58,111 just these great, nice guys to have fun with. 472 00:26:01,278 --> 00:26:04,111 Well, that sounds like a plan. 473 00:26:05,278 --> 00:26:07,736 I'm 35. 35 is not 25. 474 00:26:07,820 --> 00:26:09,236 Thank God. 475 00:26:09,736 --> 00:26:12,153 I'm 35. 476 00:26:12,236 --> 00:26:15,236 Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm 140. 477 00:26:54,695 --> 00:26:55,695 Hey. 478 00:27:04,445 --> 00:27:05,695 Happy birthday, baby. 479 00:27:07,236 --> 00:27:08,236 Get in. 480 00:27:10,070 --> 00:27:11,653 It's after 12:00, you're late. 481 00:27:12,070 --> 00:27:13,653 Not really, I'm on London time. 482 00:27:13,736 --> 00:27:15,820 London is five hours ahead. 483 00:27:16,653 --> 00:27:18,278 In that case, I'm really fucking late. 484 00:27:19,528 --> 00:27:23,236 I can't believe you actually got out of the car and got balloons. 485 00:27:23,736 --> 00:27:25,445 I didn't, Raoul did. 486 00:27:26,070 --> 00:27:27,070 Good man. 487 00:27:29,653 --> 00:27:30,653 So… 488 00:27:32,903 --> 00:27:34,403 - How old are you? - How old are you? 489 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:35,430 Nope. 490 00:27:35,445 --> 00:27:37,653 You don't have to give me an exact number. 491 00:27:38,111 --> 00:27:39,111 Pick a box. 492 00:27:39,695 --> 00:27:43,945 30 to 35, 35 to 40, 40 to 45? 493 00:27:45,695 --> 00:27:46,861 Really? 494 00:27:47,611 --> 00:27:49,195 40 to 45. 495 00:27:49,278 --> 00:27:51,653 I don't know what you're referring to. I had something in my eye. 496 00:28:00,153 --> 00:28:01,695 How do you feel about soul mates? 497 00:28:03,111 --> 00:28:04,111 Well… 498 00:28:05,445 --> 00:28:06,736 I like the word "soul." 499 00:28:08,111 --> 00:28:09,403 I like the word "mate." 500 00:28:10,445 --> 00:28:11,820 Other than that, you got me. 501 00:28:22,028 --> 00:28:23,070 Did you have a nice day? 502 00:28:23,945 --> 00:28:25,486 I had a fabulous day. 503 00:28:27,153 --> 00:28:28,153 Good for you. 504 00:28:34,903 --> 00:28:37,861 As Big's car drove away, I realized 505 00:28:37,945 --> 00:28:40,653 having three soul mates already nailed down 506 00:28:40,736 --> 00:28:45,695 made it a lot easier to spot those great, nice guys to have fun with.