1 00:00:47,216 --> 00:00:50,675 One frazzled Friday, four overbooked girlfriends 2 00:00:50,758 --> 00:00:52,758 came from four different directions… 3 00:00:52,841 --> 00:00:53,966 The East Side, 4 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,050 the West Side, 5 00:00:56,758 --> 00:00:58,133 Park Avenue, 6 00:00:59,008 --> 00:01:00,091 and Samantha. 7 00:01:02,175 --> 00:01:06,758 It was the ultimate New York power lunch also known as the power catch-up. 8 00:01:06,841 --> 00:01:10,091 Um, I'll start. I can sum up my life in one breath. 9 00:01:10,175 --> 00:01:13,675 Work, work, Au Bon Pain, work. And you? 10 00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:15,466 All right. Oh, okay, let's see. 11 00:01:16,091 --> 00:01:18,258 Aidan, Aidan, this pimple, Aidan. 12 00:01:18,883 --> 00:01:20,008 Maybe we don't need an hour. 13 00:01:20,091 --> 00:01:22,425 Char, I cannot believe you made this sandwich. 14 00:01:22,508 --> 00:01:25,050 I love you not working. You can be my wife. 15 00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:28,675 Yeah, I thought I'd have more free time, but redecorating is very stressful. 16 00:01:28,758 --> 00:01:31,175 Did you know, there are over 40 kinds of dimmers. 17 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,383 Sorry. 18 00:01:32,466 --> 00:01:35,091 Remember back when the economy was good and we had a table? 19 00:01:35,175 --> 00:01:37,466 - Yeah. Oh, boy. - Um, Carrie? 20 00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:39,675 - Yes? - Are you a janitor now? 21 00:01:41,133 --> 00:01:42,925 I know, it's ridiculous. 22 00:01:43,008 --> 00:01:45,591 I need these seven just to get in Aidan's building. 23 00:01:45,675 --> 00:01:46,925 Aidan gave you his keys? 24 00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:48,800 Yeah, but I always make him come to my place. 25 00:01:48,883 --> 00:01:50,800 He buys that two-in-one shampoo. 26 00:01:50,883 --> 00:01:52,758 Wait a minute, does Aidan have your keys now too? 27 00:01:52,841 --> 00:01:54,925 Yes, he does. All two of them. 28 00:01:55,008 --> 00:01:57,591 You exchanged keys, that's big. 29 00:01:57,675 --> 00:01:59,425 Oh, no, no, no, that's the opposite of Big. 30 00:01:59,508 --> 00:02:03,758 Good for you. Took me six months to give my cleaning lady a key. 31 00:02:03,841 --> 00:02:08,758 Well, I happen to have the key to a lasting relationship right here. 32 00:02:09,508 --> 00:02:11,300 1,001 sexual positions. 33 00:02:11,383 --> 00:02:15,258 I got it on the corner from a guy. $1.50. I love this city. 34 00:02:15,341 --> 00:02:18,216 - Whoa, Nellie! - Whose legs bend back that far? 35 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:19,925 It's like sex for the boneless. 36 00:02:20,008 --> 00:02:23,508 See, that's what I love about this guy Nick I'm seeing. 37 00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:24,535 He's deboned? 38 00:02:24,550 --> 00:02:26,758 He's the wrestling coach at NYU, 39 00:02:26,841 --> 00:02:29,466 and he's like an extra-strength rubber band. 40 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:35,591 My congregants, please refer to Position 91 in your prayer books. 41 00:02:35,675 --> 00:02:38,300 - And let us say, "Amen." - Mmm! 42 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,633 That night, I came home to find Aidan 43 00:02:44,716 --> 00:02:47,175 in the most shocking position of all… 44 00:02:47,258 --> 00:02:48,341 …cooking to the oldies. 45 00:02:48,425 --> 00:02:52,966 You're deflowering my pristine kitchen. 46 00:02:53,050 --> 00:02:55,716 Ooh! Fajitas! 47 00:02:56,508 --> 00:03:02,175 Oh, Carrie, meet my new George Foreman Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine. 48 00:03:02,258 --> 00:03:03,383 George, Carrie. 49 00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:05,300 Charmed, I'm sure. 50 00:03:08,925 --> 00:03:10,050 Hey. 51 00:03:10,133 --> 00:03:13,716 - What you doing back there, ladybird? - I'm just looking for something. 52 00:03:14,091 --> 00:03:15,216 Not in front of George. 53 00:03:17,216 --> 00:03:18,633 Leave George out of it. 54 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:20,758 Okay, that's it. 55 00:03:20,841 --> 00:03:22,883 You're going down! 56 00:03:24,966 --> 00:03:25,951 Oh. 57 00:03:25,966 --> 00:03:28,591 Hey, what about the fajitas? 58 00:03:29,091 --> 00:03:30,175 Fuck the fajitas. 59 00:03:32,258 --> 00:03:34,550 If giving a man the keys to your apartment 60 00:03:34,633 --> 00:03:38,591 means unlocking the door to home cooking and great sex, 61 00:03:38,675 --> 00:03:40,716 "…why were so many independent women…" 62 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,550 Don't, don't, don't. It's not done yet. Don't read it. 63 00:03:44,216 --> 00:03:45,216 Aw. 64 00:03:50,883 --> 00:03:51,883 Oh, my God. 65 00:03:53,758 --> 00:03:54,883 Oh, my God. 66 00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:58,508 Come… Come on, come back. What… 67 00:03:59,258 --> 00:04:00,258 What… 68 00:04:00,883 --> 00:04:02,466 What is this? Why is this happening? 69 00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:04,216 - What's up? - My computer just crashed. 70 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:07,216 Right in the middle. I just… I… Wha… 71 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,466 - Okay, just relax, darling. - I can't… 72 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:10,883 Breathe and reboot. 73 00:04:15,591 --> 00:04:18,133 Hey. It always works on my computer. 74 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:22,133 - Well? - Let's, uh, get your manual out. 75 00:04:22,216 --> 00:04:26,550 I don't have a manual. I got rid of it in a feng shui attack. 76 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,175 Oh, my God, I wanna kill myself. 77 00:04:28,258 --> 00:04:29,716 Just hang in there, sugar. 78 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,800 This thing's just faking you out, that's all. 79 00:04:32,383 --> 00:04:34,175 Aidan, plea… 80 00:04:34,258 --> 00:04:36,841 - Please, just stop touching it. Stop it. - Hold on. 81 00:04:36,925 --> 00:04:38,883 'Cause you don't know what you're doing. Just stop. 82 00:04:42,966 --> 00:04:45,550 Two meltdowns later, we rushed my '98 laptop 83 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,466 in my '99 pashmina, to Tekserve. 84 00:04:47,550 --> 00:04:50,383 Can you please not do that? 85 00:04:53,258 --> 00:04:55,883 - Sixty-four! - Oh, God, come on. 86 00:04:56,925 --> 00:04:58,841 - Number 64. - Yes! 87 00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:01,425 Hi. Oh, thank God. Please. 88 00:05:01,508 --> 00:05:03,133 - Please tell me… I'm 64. - I tried a few home remedies… 89 00:05:03,216 --> 00:05:05,091 - Tell me you can fix this. - …on this thing, but it didn't seem… 90 00:05:05,175 --> 00:05:06,883 - Please. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 91 00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:08,883 One at a time. Which one of you crashed? 92 00:05:08,966 --> 00:05:11,841 Me. Me, I did, it's mine. It's mine. 93 00:05:11,925 --> 00:05:14,675 But then he did something to it. Tell him. Tell him what you did to it. 94 00:05:15,425 --> 00:05:16,841 I hit the Control-Alt-Delete. 95 00:05:17,341 --> 00:05:19,008 That only works on PCs. 96 00:05:19,091 --> 00:05:20,466 - You a PC user? - Yup. 97 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,050 Yeah, you're not compatible. 98 00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:26,966 Okay, tell me exactly what happened right before you crashed. 99 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:32,925 Um, okay. You know, I was just typing and then he came over and he kissed me 100 00:05:33,008 --> 00:05:35,175 and then I got the bomb. 101 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:38,716 Not "da bomb," you know. Not the good kind. 102 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,758 Is this funny? Do you think that this is funny? 103 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,758 Just trying to, you know… 104 00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:45,591 You are mortifying me. 105 00:05:46,341 --> 00:05:48,091 When was the last time you backed up your work? 106 00:05:49,091 --> 00:05:50,091 Um… 107 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,258 I don't do that. 108 00:05:52,341 --> 00:05:53,425 You don't back up? 109 00:05:54,925 --> 00:05:57,300 - No. - Anything else before we go in? 110 00:05:58,675 --> 00:06:01,675 Yes! There was a mean, little man who popped up 111 00:06:01,758 --> 00:06:03,883 and he had X's where his eyes should be. 112 00:06:03,966 --> 00:06:07,675 And his tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth. 113 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,841 - He didn't have a tongue. - He had a tongue. 114 00:06:09,925 --> 00:06:13,508 That's a Sad Mac. You Sad Mac'd. You should've told me that before. 115 00:06:13,591 --> 00:06:16,216 Oh, my God, why? Why? What does that mean? 116 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:18,633 Could be your motherboard, that's the guts of your computer. 117 00:06:18,716 --> 00:06:20,091 Could be bad RAM. 118 00:06:20,175 --> 00:06:22,966 We'll keep it here for a couple of days, run some tests. 119 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,841 I'm Dmitri. I'll call you if we find anything. 120 00:06:27,383 --> 00:06:30,925 - "If"? - 78! Number 78! 121 00:06:32,633 --> 00:06:33,883 God, Miranda, I'm freaking out. 122 00:06:33,966 --> 00:06:36,175 What if everything I've ever written is gone? 123 00:06:36,258 --> 00:06:38,133 When was the last time you backed up? 124 00:06:38,508 --> 00:06:41,341 You know, no one talks about backing up. 125 00:06:41,425 --> 00:06:43,675 You've never used that expression with me before ever. 126 00:06:43,758 --> 00:06:47,341 But apparently, everybody's secretly running home at night 127 00:06:47,425 --> 00:06:48,716 and backing up their work. 128 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,716 Dr. Adleman, please, call Extension 213. 129 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,008 Where are you? 130 00:06:53,091 --> 00:06:55,300 I'm at the hospital in Philadelphia. 131 00:06:55,841 --> 00:06:57,383 My mom had a heart attack. 132 00:06:57,466 --> 00:06:58,716 Oh, my God! 133 00:06:59,341 --> 00:07:01,550 And you let me go on and on about my stupid computer? 134 00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:04,050 Well, that's very upsetting, I've been through that. 135 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:07,591 Sweetie, is she okay? How could you go to Philadelphia without telling me? 136 00:07:07,675 --> 00:07:09,425 I had about six minutes to make the train. 137 00:07:09,508 --> 00:07:11,716 And I didn't know how bad it was till I got here. 138 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:15,425 - Well, how bad is it? - They keep telling us different things. 139 00:07:15,508 --> 00:07:16,841 She's pretty out of it. 140 00:07:17,591 --> 00:07:21,133 Although she did open her eyes just long enough to veto my lipstick. 141 00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:22,466 Is there anything I can do to help? 142 00:07:22,550 --> 00:07:23,675 I'll jump on a train. 143 00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:25,758 I'll come down there and keep you company. 144 00:07:25,841 --> 00:07:28,466 No, no, no, it's fine. I'm fine. 145 00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:30,925 Miranda, the doctor is waiting. 146 00:07:31,008 --> 00:07:33,258 You can't use a cell phone in the hospital. 147 00:07:33,883 --> 00:07:35,258 She called me. 148 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:40,216 Great. Now my sister's mad at me. I gotta go. 149 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,716 - You'll keep me posted, all right? - Okay, bye. 150 00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:45,716 Meanwhile, Charlotte's afternoon 151 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,966 was filled with ovulating and decorating. 152 00:07:50,341 --> 00:07:52,383 She was 12 days into her cycle 153 00:07:52,466 --> 00:07:54,800 and three rooms into her lighting project. 154 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,133 She had become a bona fide dimmer expert. 155 00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:10,716 Samantha called in a bona fide positions expert 156 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,591 who came fully equipped. 157 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:31,050 Turns out a half nelson was very much like Position 411. 158 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,841 One half nelson, one full orgasm. 159 00:08:47,425 --> 00:08:48,425 Hello? 160 00:08:48,883 --> 00:08:50,716 Hey, it's me. I'm sorry to wake you. 161 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,091 Oh, that's okay. 162 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:55,341 My mom died. 163 00:08:55,425 --> 00:08:56,675 Oh, my God. 164 00:08:56,758 --> 00:08:57,758 Yeah. 165 00:08:58,716 --> 00:09:02,008 She was stable last night, and we all went home. 166 00:09:02,966 --> 00:09:05,216 And then they called and said she was crashing. 167 00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:08,966 And by the time we got back, she had died. 168 00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:11,300 Oh, Miranda, I'm so sorry. 169 00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:17,091 I just wish we hadn't gone home, you know? 170 00:09:18,216 --> 00:09:19,258 Nobody wanted to, 171 00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:21,341 but they kept telling us we ought to get some sleep. 172 00:09:21,425 --> 00:09:25,383 I'm sure that she knew on some level that you were with her. 173 00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,216 But I wasn't with her. Nobody was. 174 00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:31,383 What can I do? 175 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,966 Nothing. I'm… I'm fine. 176 00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,341 I'll be fine. 177 00:09:39,091 --> 00:09:41,716 The funeral's on Tuesday and I don't have anything to wear 178 00:09:42,383 --> 00:09:45,508 because I didn't think I would be going to a funeral while I was here. 179 00:09:45,591 --> 00:09:47,425 Well, I'll be there, so I can… 180 00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:50,008 I'll just bring you something from your apartment. 181 00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:51,675 No. No. Don't bother. 182 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,675 I'm just gonna go out and buy 183 00:09:54,758 --> 00:09:57,175 a shitty black dress I'll never wear again. 184 00:09:57,258 --> 00:09:59,175 Are you sure? I'd be happy to do it. 185 00:09:59,258 --> 00:10:00,258 No, don't… 186 00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:02,133 Don't do anything. 187 00:10:05,008 --> 00:10:06,008 I'd better go. 188 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:08,716 Miranda, I'm so sorry. 189 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,758 Yeah, thanks. I gotta go. 190 00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,175 Miranda's mother died. 191 00:10:26,633 --> 00:10:29,091 Come here. You okay? 192 00:10:29,175 --> 00:10:31,425 Yes, I'm fine, actually. 193 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,133 Do you know when the funeral is? I'd like to go if I can. 194 00:10:36,008 --> 00:10:37,008 Um… 195 00:10:39,716 --> 00:10:40,800 I don't know. 196 00:10:44,091 --> 00:10:45,300 You don't have to. 197 00:10:46,925 --> 00:10:48,091 I don't really know. 198 00:10:54,091 --> 00:10:55,091 Hi. 199 00:10:55,591 --> 00:10:58,008 Where have you been, and where's Miranda? I'm starving. 200 00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:01,550 What's wrong? 201 00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:08,466 Miranda's in Philadelphia. Her mother had a heart attack yesterday, 202 00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:11,800 and she died, early this morning. 203 00:11:13,383 --> 00:11:14,633 She wasn't even sick. 204 00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:18,341 I can't believe it. 205 00:11:19,050 --> 00:11:20,633 Poor Miranda. How is she? 206 00:11:23,675 --> 00:11:24,800 I don't know. 207 00:11:26,633 --> 00:11:27,800 She's not good. 208 00:11:30,175 --> 00:11:32,508 And I just felt so awful for her, and I just… 209 00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:37,175 You know, I didn't… I didn't know what to say to her, and… 210 00:11:39,258 --> 00:11:42,008 You know Miranda, she was trying to be so strong, but she just… 211 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,633 She sounded so alone. 212 00:11:44,716 --> 00:11:47,383 And I just kept saying all the wrong things, I think, to her. 213 00:11:47,466 --> 00:11:50,008 No. No, I'm sure you didn't. 214 00:11:50,466 --> 00:11:52,841 - Oh. Here. - Thanks. I'm sorry. 215 00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:54,091 Well… 216 00:11:54,508 --> 00:11:56,925 I guess the first thing we should do is send some flowers. 217 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,383 - Right. - Or a fruit basket. 218 00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:02,341 - Or muffins. What do you think? - Um… 219 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,091 Hey, you all right? 220 00:12:06,841 --> 00:12:07,841 What? 221 00:12:08,716 --> 00:12:10,008 I'm fine. 222 00:12:10,091 --> 00:12:12,758 Flowers are fine, just tell me who to send the cheque to. 223 00:12:15,758 --> 00:12:17,300 I'm just hungry. 224 00:12:18,925 --> 00:12:21,550 After breakfast, Charlotte showed her support for Miranda 225 00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:23,841 by becoming the Martha Stewart of death. 226 00:12:23,925 --> 00:12:26,300 No, I want the clear cellophane and the navy ribbon. 227 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,800 Samantha, have you called Miranda yet? 'Cause I just spoke to her, 228 00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,550 and she thinks that it would be faster for us 229 00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,425 to take the train to Philadelphia, and I agree. 230 00:12:35,175 --> 00:12:37,008 We're going to the funeral? 231 00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:39,591 I thought we were just sending flowers. 232 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,550 Of course we're going to the funeral. 233 00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:43,091 And you should call her. 234 00:12:43,175 --> 00:12:45,050 I think she would really like to hear from you. 235 00:12:45,133 --> 00:12:47,425 Well, what am I gonna say to her? 236 00:12:47,508 --> 00:12:50,383 You could say, "I'm so sorry for your loss. 237 00:12:50,466 --> 00:12:52,425 I love you, I'm here for you." 238 00:12:52,508 --> 00:12:53,508 That's enough ribbon. 239 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:57,050 "You're in my thoughts. May she rest in peace. 240 00:12:57,133 --> 00:13:00,216 - I'm so sorry you lost…" - Fine, fine, I'll call her. Good-bye. 241 00:13:02,091 --> 00:13:05,091 In times of sorrow, some people have trouble reaching out. 242 00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:09,883 Samantha wasn't one of those people. 243 00:13:13,716 --> 00:13:15,091 Wanna wrestle? 244 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,925 Keep doing that. Keep doing that. Keep doing that. 245 00:13:23,591 --> 00:13:27,800 But today, something was just out of reach. 246 00:13:29,841 --> 00:13:32,758 So they tried another position, 299. 247 00:13:32,841 --> 00:13:33,883 Oh, yeah. 248 00:13:34,550 --> 00:13:35,550 I'm almost there. 249 00:13:37,841 --> 00:13:42,258 Just hang on one more second. Just one more second. One more second. 250 00:13:42,341 --> 00:13:43,883 Hang on. Hang in there. 251 00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:45,591 Keep hanging on. Stay with me. 252 00:13:45,675 --> 00:13:48,591 Stay just like that. Just like that. Just like that. 253 00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:54,966 Get them off me. Get them off me! You're distracting me. 254 00:13:57,883 --> 00:13:59,633 And when none of those worked, 255 00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:02,966 they went back to old faithful, number 17. 256 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,800 Okay, now that's it. 257 00:14:05,883 --> 00:14:08,633 Now we got it. Here we go. 258 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:10,008 Home free. 259 00:14:10,091 --> 00:14:12,341 Just keep doing exactly what you're doing. 260 00:14:12,425 --> 00:14:13,925 Exactly what you're doing. 261 00:14:14,008 --> 00:14:18,675 Exactly what you're doing. Exactly what you're doing. 262 00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:22,008 Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. 263 00:14:22,925 --> 00:14:26,716 Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. 264 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,716 I gotta pick up my stuff at the cleaners by 5:00. 265 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,133 Okay, stop. 266 00:14:31,758 --> 00:14:35,050 I want you to make it very clear to the Philadelphia florist: 267 00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:37,341 tasteful, all white. 268 00:14:37,841 --> 00:14:41,675 The Casablanca lilies, the calla lilies, and the Phalaenopsis. 269 00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,133 I don't want any crap. 270 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:44,868 You told her. 271 00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:47,675 These flowers are gonna be the centerpiece on the church altar. 272 00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:50,008 I think it's important that they represent us, don't you agree? 273 00:14:50,758 --> 00:14:51,925 Samantha? 274 00:14:52,008 --> 00:14:54,216 Oh, I don't know, I'm not even listening. 275 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,633 I lost my orgasm. 276 00:14:57,841 --> 00:14:58,841 In the cab? 277 00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:00,841 What do you mean, lost? 278 00:15:00,925 --> 00:15:04,383 I mean, I just spent the last two hours fucking with no finale. 279 00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:06,925 It happens. Sometimes you just can't get there. 280 00:15:07,008 --> 00:15:08,591 I can always get there. 281 00:15:09,091 --> 00:15:10,758 Every time you have sex? 282 00:15:10,841 --> 00:15:12,800 She's exaggerating. 283 00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,716 Please say you're exaggerating. 284 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:21,508 Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes. 285 00:15:21,591 --> 00:15:24,716 When I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come. 286 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,550 See, I've been a no-show on more than one occasion. 287 00:15:28,633 --> 00:15:30,883 Sex can still be great without an orgasm. 288 00:15:30,966 --> 00:15:33,383 - That is such a crock of shit. - She has a point. 289 00:15:34,425 --> 00:15:36,008 What's wrong with me? 290 00:15:37,008 --> 00:15:38,008 Listen. 291 00:15:38,883 --> 00:15:42,091 You've got plenty of orgasms under your belt. 292 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,133 You're gonna be fine. 293 00:15:44,216 --> 00:15:46,466 - Now, let's retrace your steps. - Okay. 294 00:15:46,550 --> 00:15:47,925 Were you on top? 295 00:15:48,716 --> 00:15:49,925 How is that relevant? 296 00:15:50,008 --> 00:15:51,800 You mean you can have them on the bottom? 297 00:15:51,883 --> 00:15:53,591 Top, bottom, upside-down… 298 00:15:53,675 --> 00:15:56,758 - All right, now you're just showing off. - I'm asking for help. 299 00:15:56,841 --> 00:16:02,633 Sweetie, I'm sure it will pop up when you least expect it, like… 300 00:16:04,341 --> 00:16:05,341 jury duty. 301 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,925 - Unless… - What? 302 00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:13,383 I read this article about a woman who was having orgasms round the clock. 303 00:16:13,466 --> 00:16:15,050 - Uh-huh. - And then, boom! 304 00:16:16,466 --> 00:16:19,550 Orgasms stopped, for good. 305 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,633 It was like she had used them all up or something. 306 00:16:24,508 --> 00:16:26,800 That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me. 307 00:16:30,258 --> 00:16:33,216 Meanwhile in Philadelphia, Miranda realized 308 00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:36,341 she needed a shitty black bra to go with her shitty black dress. 309 00:16:36,883 --> 00:16:38,466 Can I help you find something? 310 00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:41,925 No. I'm looking for this in 36A in black. 311 00:16:42,008 --> 00:16:43,883 You don't look like a 36A to me. 312 00:16:44,508 --> 00:16:45,550 Well, I am. 313 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:50,800 Uh, excuse me… "Lucille." 314 00:16:51,258 --> 00:16:54,633 I've been a 36A my whole life. I think I know what size I am. 315 00:16:55,175 --> 00:16:56,466 Didn't think so. 316 00:16:59,716 --> 00:17:02,633 - Try these. - There is no way that I'm a 34B. 317 00:17:02,716 --> 00:17:04,050 Just try them. 318 00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:10,383 - How's it going in there? - Fine. Everything's fine. 319 00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:14,341 From the age of 14, Miranda had a strict no-visitors policy 320 00:17:14,425 --> 00:17:15,410 in the dressing room. 321 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:16,925 Let's see how that's working out. 322 00:17:17,466 --> 00:17:20,841 Although her mother never observed it, and neither did Lucille. 323 00:17:20,925 --> 00:17:23,050 Um, I just said that I didn't need any help. 324 00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:26,175 You say you don't want help, but you were picking out the wrong size. 325 00:17:26,758 --> 00:17:28,425 See, now, this one fits you. 326 00:17:28,508 --> 00:17:31,841 I think that I can adjust my bra straps by myself. 327 00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:34,550 Would you please get your hands off of my breasts? 328 00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:37,716 I'm not being fresh. I think I know what's best. 329 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,800 No, you don't! 330 00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:41,966 I think that I know what's best for me. 331 00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:44,716 Suddenly, Miranda realized 332 00:17:45,466 --> 00:17:48,591 she would never have a fight with her mother again. 333 00:17:48,675 --> 00:17:50,800 I'm sorry. It's not you. 334 00:17:51,425 --> 00:17:53,716 My mother just died, and… 335 00:17:55,716 --> 00:17:59,591 - Come here. - No, I'm… I'm fine. I'm… I'm… 336 00:18:01,258 --> 00:18:03,883 And there behind the curtain, when no one was looking, 337 00:18:03,966 --> 00:18:07,258 Miranda found a kind of support that actually fit her. 338 00:18:18,841 --> 00:18:20,716 Well, this is perfect. 339 00:18:22,758 --> 00:18:23,758 You were right. 340 00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:28,050 Thanks. 341 00:18:31,008 --> 00:18:33,300 Wait. Wait! 342 00:18:34,258 --> 00:18:36,425 Ah. Damn, you're always sneaking up on me. 343 00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:37,883 Surprise! 344 00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,216 It's your new computer. 345 00:18:41,883 --> 00:18:42,883 Whoa. 346 00:18:44,175 --> 00:18:45,383 It's blue. 347 00:18:45,466 --> 00:18:48,133 Yeah. And it's a lot more fun than your old one. 348 00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:50,466 It's got this handle, so it's like a little purse. 349 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:53,758 That's a very expensive purse. 350 00:18:55,716 --> 00:18:58,175 - When… When did you get that? - Today. 351 00:18:58,633 --> 00:19:01,133 And I got you one of these Zip drives, 352 00:19:01,925 --> 00:19:03,425 so you can start backing up your work now. 353 00:19:03,508 --> 00:19:06,800 I don't even know how to use that, and I don't need it. 354 00:19:06,883 --> 00:19:09,425 I have my own system. Works just fine. 355 00:19:09,508 --> 00:19:11,633 Oh, yeah, right. You sure about that? 356 00:19:12,591 --> 00:19:13,966 Yeah, I am. 357 00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,466 I'm not ready for a new computer. 358 00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:19,133 I'm still waiting to hear back about my old one. 359 00:19:19,216 --> 00:19:21,758 My whole life was on that computer. 360 00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,300 I get it. Uh… 361 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,883 It's all you. I'm not a part of any of this. 362 00:19:28,966 --> 00:19:30,216 You don't want the laptop. 363 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:32,341 You don't want me to go to the funeral. I feel like a fucking… 364 00:19:32,425 --> 00:19:35,091 I gave you my keys, what more do you want? 365 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:36,508 Your keys? 366 00:19:36,591 --> 00:19:40,466 Oh, great, so now I can get into your front door. 367 00:19:41,425 --> 00:19:43,591 How do I get into there? Huh? 368 00:19:47,466 --> 00:19:51,300 I'm sorry, but I've been taking care of myself for a really long time. 369 00:19:51,883 --> 00:19:55,550 You may not like it, but this is how I deal with things. 370 00:19:55,925 --> 00:19:57,591 This is your receipt. 371 00:19:58,383 --> 00:20:01,341 So you can do whatever you want with that computer, all right? 372 00:20:02,091 --> 00:20:03,091 And, uh… 373 00:20:10,091 --> 00:20:13,341 Meanwhile, Samantha was troubleshooting her own laptop. 374 00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:22,633 She was determined to just relax, 375 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,133 unwind… 376 00:20:31,591 --> 00:20:33,966 and let the rest of the world fall away. 377 00:20:38,841 --> 00:20:41,258 - What? - Oh, good, you're there. 378 00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,008 I'm picking up bagels for the train ride. 379 00:20:43,091 --> 00:20:44,175 You're sesame, right? 380 00:20:44,258 --> 00:20:47,758 - Oh, and have you called Miranda yet? - No, I'm whole wheat. 381 00:20:48,425 --> 00:20:51,091 And I haven't called her because I don't wanna bother her. 382 00:20:51,716 --> 00:20:54,716 Charlotte, I'm masturbating. 383 00:20:55,258 --> 00:20:58,050 I told you I'd be doing that all day today. 384 00:21:07,425 --> 00:21:10,550 By nightfall, Samantha called off the search party. 385 00:21:19,716 --> 00:21:23,425 Somewhere in the city of lost dreams and missing persons, 386 00:21:23,508 --> 00:21:25,966 Samantha's orgasm remained at large. 387 00:21:28,633 --> 00:21:32,050 The next morning, my own search party called with news of a breakthrough. 388 00:21:32,716 --> 00:21:34,508 Hi. Hi. 389 00:21:35,175 --> 00:21:39,675 Hi, you remember me? Um, I'm number P438W. 390 00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:40,966 You have my computer. 391 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,175 Yep. 392 00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:46,550 Okay. 393 00:21:51,008 --> 00:21:53,466 And here's what we could recover from your hard drive. 394 00:21:54,216 --> 00:21:55,550 Any of that look familiar to you? 395 00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:59,008 There it was, my past. It was a mess. 396 00:22:01,216 --> 00:22:04,925 Can you please tell me why this happened in the first place? 397 00:22:05,008 --> 00:22:08,258 Well, we don't know. Sometimes these things, they just crash. 398 00:22:09,341 --> 00:22:11,300 Now, we can replace your motherboard 399 00:22:11,383 --> 00:22:14,466 but you have to get yourself a backup system. 400 00:22:15,091 --> 00:22:16,675 Pick out a Zip drive, start saving. 401 00:22:17,258 --> 00:22:18,925 Next time, you won't lose everything. 402 00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:22,091 Ouch. 403 00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:24,466 You saved your warranty, right? 404 00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:42,675 Hello, furniture company. 405 00:22:43,050 --> 00:22:45,633 It's me, the girl who doesn't back up. 406 00:22:46,550 --> 00:22:47,550 Um… 407 00:22:48,258 --> 00:22:50,966 This is my attempt to breathe and reboot. 408 00:22:52,258 --> 00:22:54,591 - Are you smiling at all over there? - I'm listening. 409 00:22:55,175 --> 00:22:57,175 Okay, well, um… 410 00:22:58,091 --> 00:23:00,258 I'm just on my way to Philly, 411 00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:03,466 and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. 412 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,633 This is hard. 413 00:23:06,716 --> 00:23:08,800 We're gonna run into stuff that's hard. 414 00:23:10,383 --> 00:23:13,216 - That's why I was trying to help. - Well, I know. I know that, but… 415 00:23:15,633 --> 00:23:17,175 If you start helping me, 416 00:23:17,258 --> 00:23:20,216 and then I get used to having that help… 417 00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:21,466 Yeah? 418 00:23:21,550 --> 00:23:24,091 Well, no good can come of that. 419 00:23:24,633 --> 00:23:29,300 I mean, then what happens when, you know, you're not around one day? 420 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,050 - Where am I going? - Well, I don't know. 421 00:23:32,133 --> 00:23:36,258 You could, you know, be out of town or be busy or… 422 00:23:37,091 --> 00:23:38,466 Things fall apart. 423 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:41,758 - We could fall apart. - I know that. 424 00:23:42,383 --> 00:23:43,383 Well, then what? 425 00:23:44,341 --> 00:23:46,758 Then I guess we'd be a couple of Sad Macs. 426 00:23:54,508 --> 00:23:55,508 Philadelphia. 427 00:23:55,591 --> 00:23:59,091 Just a hop, skip, a cab, a Metroliner, and another cab away. 428 00:24:09,216 --> 00:24:11,758 Well, I'm not gonna find my orgasm in this town. 429 00:24:11,841 --> 00:24:13,050 We are at a funeral. 430 00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:32,300 Be right back. 431 00:24:40,591 --> 00:24:41,633 I'm so sorry. 432 00:24:46,216 --> 00:24:47,466 I'm so sorry. 433 00:24:52,383 --> 00:24:53,383 You look great. 434 00:24:56,050 --> 00:24:57,050 Well, she does. 435 00:24:59,258 --> 00:25:01,008 - How are you? - I'm fine. 436 00:25:01,466 --> 00:25:05,508 But everybody else is very concerned about me because I'm here alone. 437 00:25:05,591 --> 00:25:08,175 I didn't realize I needed a date for my mother's funeral. 438 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,008 Oh, Miranda. 439 00:25:10,091 --> 00:25:14,133 My sister and her husband want me to third-wheel with them down the aisle. 440 00:25:14,216 --> 00:25:16,633 God forbid that I should walk it alone, 441 00:25:16,716 --> 00:25:18,716 because that would be the real tragedy, right? 442 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,175 Ignore the coffin. 443 00:25:20,258 --> 00:25:23,008 There's a single 35-year-old woman walking behind it. 444 00:25:23,633 --> 00:25:25,508 - Miranda? - Coming, Betsy. 445 00:25:26,716 --> 00:25:27,716 I gotta… 446 00:25:29,133 --> 00:25:30,133 Wow. 447 00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:32,175 Well, this is hard. 448 00:25:34,758 --> 00:25:36,050 "You look great"? 449 00:25:36,133 --> 00:25:38,508 That was not one of the things I told you to say. 450 00:25:41,508 --> 00:25:42,508 Excuse me, Betsy? 451 00:25:43,133 --> 00:25:44,341 Hi, I'm Charlotte. 452 00:25:44,425 --> 00:25:46,008 - We spoke on the phone. - Oh. 453 00:25:46,091 --> 00:25:48,341 I just wanted to say again how sorry I am. 454 00:25:48,841 --> 00:25:51,633 And to make sure that everything worked out with the flowers. 455 00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:53,216 Yes, thank you. 456 00:25:54,175 --> 00:25:56,508 In fact, there they are now. 457 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,591 I said "tasteful." 458 00:26:08,425 --> 00:26:11,175 I think now we know what $500 worth of glitter looks like. 459 00:26:12,675 --> 00:26:15,758 Death is the eternal mystery. 460 00:26:16,633 --> 00:26:18,883 It defies our comprehension. 461 00:26:19,633 --> 00:26:22,675 There are no explanations, no answers. 462 00:26:23,258 --> 00:26:26,258 No magic words to soothe us. 463 00:26:26,716 --> 00:26:28,716 You're a spiritual leader, can't you make something up? 464 00:26:29,758 --> 00:26:31,883 Those flowers were supposed to say: 465 00:26:31,966 --> 00:26:35,550 "We're so sorry. We love you." Not "You're dead. Let's disco." 466 00:26:35,633 --> 00:26:37,508 …so many wonderful stories about her 467 00:26:37,591 --> 00:26:41,341 from her daughter Betsy and her husband, David, 468 00:26:41,925 --> 00:26:44,508 her son John and his wife, Miranda 469 00:26:45,508 --> 00:26:46,758 her daughter Catherine… 470 00:26:46,841 --> 00:26:48,050 Did he just say? 471 00:26:49,091 --> 00:26:52,966 No spiritual stuff and he can't keep the family tree straight? 472 00:26:54,175 --> 00:26:55,300 This guy's a hack. 473 00:26:55,383 --> 00:27:00,591 …Sara, Alexandra, Nathan, and little Emily. 474 00:27:01,841 --> 00:27:03,425 After the burial, 475 00:27:04,050 --> 00:27:08,216 John and his wife, Miranda, invite you back to their home. 476 00:27:08,883 --> 00:27:13,091 Directions can be found as you exit the sanctuary. 477 00:27:16,550 --> 00:27:17,966 I'm sorry. 478 00:27:19,216 --> 00:27:20,258 Thank you. 479 00:27:25,591 --> 00:27:28,633 Finally, Samantha found the release she really needed. 480 00:27:28,716 --> 00:27:31,050 She cried for everything she couldn't say, 481 00:27:31,133 --> 00:27:33,300 and for things she didn't even know she felt. 482 00:28:00,716 --> 00:28:01,716 It's okay. 483 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,925 There's the kind of support you ask for, 484 00:28:04,008 --> 00:28:06,300 and a kind of support you don't ask for. 485 00:28:08,966 --> 00:28:11,175 And then there's the kind that just shows up. 486 00:28:16,175 --> 00:28:17,175 Thank you. 487 00:28:32,550 --> 00:28:37,508 After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. 488 00:28:38,716 --> 00:28:41,675 The best we can do is breathe and reboot. 489 00:28:45,216 --> 00:28:48,716 And when that fails, a little gizmo called a Zip drive 490 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,133 can provide a surprising amount of comfort. 491 00:28:59,925 --> 00:29:01,175 So can a boyfriend… 492 00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:04,633 if you can learn to let him.