1 00:00:47,086 --> 00:00:48,211 For most New Yorkers, 2 00:00:48,295 --> 00:00:51,170 Manhattan is the center of the civilized world. 3 00:00:52,128 --> 00:00:54,211 But for a privileged few, 4 00:00:54,295 --> 00:00:57,420 Manhattan is merely a place to kill time between weekends 5 00:00:57,503 --> 00:01:00,295 at their fashionably rustic, New York country homes. 6 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:04,170 Wow! Yeah, the place looks great. 7 00:01:04,253 --> 00:01:05,795 I was willing to forgo the privilege. 8 00:01:05,878 --> 00:01:08,545 - That's the "before" picture. - Oh, sorry. Whew! 9 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:10,836 That's the "after." 10 00:01:12,836 --> 00:01:14,628 Could I see the before again? 11 00:01:14,711 --> 00:01:16,836 You kind of have to be there to appreciate it. 12 00:01:17,253 --> 00:01:20,420 No, I can appreciate it from here. 13 00:01:20,503 --> 00:01:21,753 Well, luckily you won't have to, 14 00:01:21,836 --> 00:01:23,420 since you're coming up there with me next week. 15 00:01:23,836 --> 00:01:24,836 I am? 16 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,670 Oh, man, I wish I could. 17 00:01:27,753 --> 00:01:31,253 But I have a meeting with my editor in town next week. 18 00:01:31,336 --> 00:01:33,295 That's all right, it's only 40 minutes away. 19 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,878 You take the train in for your meeting, and right back out when you're done. 20 00:01:37,961 --> 00:01:41,461 Well, you've just thought of everything, haven't you? 21 00:01:41,545 --> 00:01:42,961 Pack your bags, little lady. 22 00:01:43,045 --> 00:01:45,253 You're coming to the country with me. 23 00:01:47,461 --> 00:01:50,253 All right, that's Miranda. I gotta go. We'll talk about this later. 24 00:01:50,336 --> 00:01:53,670 - Nothing left to talk about. - Oh, yes, there is. 25 00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:55,253 I'll be right down. 26 00:01:55,336 --> 00:01:56,878 - I'm coming up. - All right. 27 00:01:58,045 --> 00:01:59,045 See… 28 00:01:59,628 --> 00:02:02,503 I'm what you call a bona fide city girl. 29 00:02:02,586 --> 00:02:04,753 I'm a girl-about-town. 30 00:02:04,836 --> 00:02:09,420 I'm the kind of girl that goes to a late movie in the middle of the week. 31 00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:11,211 - I'm crazy. - I know it. 32 00:02:12,420 --> 00:02:13,711 - Hi there. - Hello. 33 00:02:13,795 --> 00:02:17,128 Hey, could you tell your little pal Steve to call his insurance company? 34 00:02:17,211 --> 00:02:18,503 They can't find him 35 00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:21,003 and they still think that I'm his in-case-of-emergency person. 36 00:02:21,086 --> 00:02:22,961 So, he needs to update that whole file. 37 00:02:23,045 --> 00:02:26,170 Yeah, I know he wants to talk to you about some stuff too. 38 00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:28,336 Uh-oh. 39 00:02:28,711 --> 00:02:29,711 Like what? 40 00:02:30,253 --> 00:02:31,336 Some stuff. 41 00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:33,711 No, what is he gonna tell me? 42 00:02:33,795 --> 00:02:36,378 Now that Jessica's gone, he wants to start seeing me again? 43 00:02:36,461 --> 00:02:39,545 That he can't stop thinking about me? He's still in love with me? 44 00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:41,628 Steve's got testicular cancer. 45 00:02:43,753 --> 00:02:45,503 That I'm a horrible, selfish bitch? 46 00:02:47,295 --> 00:02:48,920 Several blocks south, 47 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:52,461 Charlotte also found herself in a compromising position. 48 00:02:52,545 --> 00:02:55,086 Whatever it is you're doing, don't stop. 49 00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:56,920 It's a fertility exercise. 50 00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,211 I know a better one. 51 00:03:01,295 --> 00:03:03,170 - Ha-ha! - No, no, not yet. 52 00:03:03,253 --> 00:03:05,128 My basal body temperature reading says 53 00:03:05,211 --> 00:03:07,211 I won't be ovulating for another five days. 54 00:03:07,295 --> 00:03:10,003 That's perfect. That means we have five days of practice to get it right. 55 00:03:10,628 --> 00:03:14,420 No, we can't. I need you to conserve your juices until then 56 00:03:14,503 --> 00:03:15,878 so they'll be at their most powerful. 57 00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:17,836 Darling, I'm juicy now. 58 00:03:18,378 --> 00:03:21,961 I'm sorry, it's just… we've been trying for three months. 59 00:03:22,045 --> 00:03:24,003 I don't wanna take any chances. 60 00:03:24,503 --> 00:03:26,003 Can't it wait until Saturday? 61 00:03:26,545 --> 00:03:28,878 We're gonna be in Connecticut on Saturday. We promised Mother. 62 00:03:28,961 --> 00:03:30,003 I know. 63 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,711 I was thinking maybe we could stay here and concentrate on this. 64 00:03:33,795 --> 00:03:36,211 She's expecting us. 65 00:03:36,753 --> 00:03:39,086 We miss the orchid show, she'll be devastated. 66 00:03:39,711 --> 00:03:42,253 Then I guess we'll just have to have sex at your mother's. 67 00:03:43,253 --> 00:03:45,045 People having sex in Connecticut? 68 00:03:46,336 --> 00:03:47,961 There's a first time for everything. 69 00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:52,128 Aww. 70 00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:55,503 It's no big deal. 71 00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:58,170 The doctor said it's very trendy now. 72 00:03:58,253 --> 00:04:00,836 Lance Armstrong had it, the Drew Barrymore guy. 73 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,378 Everybody's getting it. It's the TiVo of cancers. 74 00:04:03,878 --> 00:04:05,670 That's right, it's no big deal. 75 00:04:05,753 --> 00:04:08,170 He's just gotta get in there, snip one of those guys out of there, 76 00:04:08,253 --> 00:04:09,420 and that's it, I'm done. 77 00:04:09,836 --> 00:04:13,253 Good, so then it's stage one, right? I looked it up on the net. 78 00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:15,795 Yeah, I guess so. 79 00:04:15,878 --> 00:04:18,211 You guess so? You don't know? 80 00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:23,753 What? Sure. I mean, stage one, you have the operation. 81 00:04:23,836 --> 00:04:27,045 No, stage one, the cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes. Has it? 82 00:04:28,503 --> 00:04:30,420 Your doctor gave you an ultrasound, right? 83 00:04:32,128 --> 00:04:34,586 - A CAT scan? - You know, I mean… 84 00:04:35,878 --> 00:04:38,503 I turned my head, I coughed, he poked around a little. 85 00:04:38,586 --> 00:04:39,753 Who the hell is this doctor? 86 00:04:39,836 --> 00:04:41,795 Has he got a storefront outside Port Authority? 87 00:04:41,878 --> 00:04:43,503 No, he's nice. 88 00:04:43,586 --> 00:04:44,628 I got him through my HMO. 89 00:04:45,378 --> 00:04:46,670 Oh, well, then he must be good. 90 00:04:48,295 --> 00:04:52,711 Steve, look, I talked to some guys in my office who've been through this. 91 00:04:52,795 --> 00:04:55,378 - Jeez, Miranda! - Don't worry, I used a pseudonym. 92 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:59,086 They gave me the name of a specialist at Beth Israel, who… 93 00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:02,211 Miranda, you don't have to do that. You don't have to do anything. 94 00:05:02,295 --> 00:05:04,670 I have a doctor. It's no big deal. 95 00:05:04,753 --> 00:05:07,295 Will you stop saying that? It is a big deal. 96 00:05:08,045 --> 00:05:11,336 This isn't your crazy yellow toenail, Steve. This is cancer. 97 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,003 And the longer you wait to find out what's going on, 98 00:05:14,086 --> 00:05:16,670 the longer we even sit here having this conversation, 99 00:05:16,753 --> 00:05:19,961 the more likely it is that the cancer will spread, and that you will die. 100 00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:23,378 It is a big fucking deal. 101 00:05:23,795 --> 00:05:24,795 All right. 102 00:05:28,086 --> 00:05:31,003 I made him cry. No, first I yelled at him. 103 00:05:31,086 --> 00:05:33,378 I yelled at my friend, the cancer patient, 104 00:05:33,461 --> 00:05:34,836 and then I made him cry. 105 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,628 It's understandable. I mean, you just lost your mom. 106 00:05:37,711 --> 00:05:40,045 I'm sure you have a lot of pent-up residual anger. 107 00:05:40,128 --> 00:05:42,711 Maybe, but mostly he was just pissing me off. 108 00:05:42,795 --> 00:05:44,211 Sounds like he needed a good kick in the ass, 109 00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:45,378 which is what you gave him. 110 00:05:45,461 --> 00:05:47,253 You know what you need? 111 00:05:47,336 --> 00:05:50,836 A nice, relaxing weekend with me at Aidan's country house. 112 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,003 You're not actually going, are you? 113 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,711 Well, if by "going" you mean 114 00:05:54,795 --> 00:05:56,628 "being taken against my will and kidnapped," 115 00:05:56,711 --> 00:05:58,420 - then yes, I'm going. - Oh. 116 00:05:58,503 --> 00:05:59,878 So enjoy me now, ladies. 117 00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:02,711 Because this weekend, I'm a hick town hostage. 118 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:05,045 I can't go. Steve has cancer. 119 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:07,836 Somebody has to stay in town and make him feel bad about it. 120 00:06:08,753 --> 00:06:10,336 You're at the Connecticut compound? 121 00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:14,920 Oh, come on. 122 00:06:15,003 --> 00:06:16,336 It's like we're living in Paris 123 00:06:16,420 --> 00:06:18,420 and running off to Provence for the weekend. 124 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,586 Ugh! What is it about the weekends now? 125 00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:23,378 I swear to God, every guy I've fucked since Memorial Day 126 00:06:23,461 --> 00:06:26,795 wants to know what I'm doing this weekend. They just don't get it. 127 00:06:26,878 --> 00:06:29,420 My weekends are for meeting new guys 128 00:06:29,503 --> 00:06:31,378 so I don't have to keep fucking the old ones. 129 00:06:31,461 --> 00:06:34,170 - So that's a no, I guess? - Mmm-mmm. 130 00:06:34,253 --> 00:06:37,378 I guess I'll have to brave the wilderness on my own. 131 00:06:37,461 --> 00:06:40,128 No. Not on your own, with Aidan. 132 00:06:40,545 --> 00:06:41,586 And I love Aidan. 133 00:06:42,295 --> 00:06:43,795 And Aidan loves the country. 134 00:06:44,295 --> 00:06:45,670 So maybe I'll love the country. 135 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,878 Wait a minute, just 'cause Aidan loves the country, you have to love it too? 136 00:06:48,961 --> 00:06:50,586 Yes, apparently that's how it works. 137 00:06:50,670 --> 00:06:54,128 I see. You need to pretend to be someone else to be in a relationship. 138 00:06:54,211 --> 00:06:57,795 No, I believe the word you're looking for is "compromise." 139 00:06:57,878 --> 00:07:01,461 It's true. Trey loves golf, so I'm taking golf lessons. 140 00:07:01,545 --> 00:07:04,628 Trey loves Bunny, so I'm ovulating at the orchid show. 141 00:07:04,711 --> 00:07:06,545 Which hick town is it, exactly? 142 00:07:07,711 --> 00:07:10,045 It's too terrible and too ironic. 143 00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:13,961 It's Suffern. 144 00:07:15,545 --> 00:07:17,295 Suffern, New York. 145 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:22,461 Sounds like you better take some Buffer'n to Suffern. 146 00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:35,253 Well? 147 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,545 - There's a lake right over there. - Oh? 148 00:07:43,628 --> 00:07:45,253 - One mile. - Oh. 149 00:07:52,086 --> 00:07:53,086 Wow. 150 00:08:01,628 --> 00:08:04,878 This floor's all original. Dates back to 1874. 151 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:09,128 The plumbing's 1974, so, of course, it needs some work. 152 00:08:11,253 --> 00:08:13,670 But I put in a hot water heater all by myself. 153 00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:16,128 So what do you think? Scary as you thought it'd be? 154 00:08:16,211 --> 00:08:19,420 No. God, no. No. 155 00:08:19,503 --> 00:08:20,670 It was scarier. 156 00:08:21,295 --> 00:08:22,295 Aw, good. 157 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,836 Let me stick this stuff in the back. I'll give you the grand tour. 158 00:08:27,253 --> 00:08:28,253 I'll be here. 159 00:08:40,836 --> 00:08:45,545 So there I was, trapped in a cabin that was outdated even by Civil War standards 160 00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:48,545 when I could've been out cocktailing, and sample sale-ing. 161 00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:54,461 - Oh, God! - What is it? 162 00:08:54,545 --> 00:08:56,586 - Oh, God! - What happened? You okay? 163 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:57,920 No, no. 164 00:08:58,003 --> 00:08:59,628 Oh, my God! 165 00:08:59,711 --> 00:09:03,420 There was a huge, giant squirrel in that window, right there. 166 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,253 Yeah, that's my squirrel. 167 00:09:07,753 --> 00:09:10,961 I've been sneaking little nuts out there and hoping he'd come make friends, 168 00:09:11,045 --> 00:09:11,988 and he did. 169 00:09:12,003 --> 00:09:15,045 You can't be friends with a squirrel. 170 00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:18,003 A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. 171 00:09:18,086 --> 00:09:20,211 - Oh, is that right? - "That's my squirrel"? 172 00:09:21,003 --> 00:09:23,711 Any more Wild Kingdom surprises I should know about? 173 00:09:24,253 --> 00:09:25,836 Let's see, just… 174 00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:35,503 Hours later, we discovered one satisfying way 175 00:09:35,586 --> 00:09:37,128 to pass the time in the country. 176 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,086 Just not enough time. 177 00:09:40,586 --> 00:09:43,920 There I was, miles from home, hours from sleep, 178 00:09:44,003 --> 00:09:45,420 with no one to talk to… 179 00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:47,836 …nowhere to go, and nothing to do except… 180 00:09:50,045 --> 00:09:54,295 Three hours, two mosquitoes, and one too many vodka Kool-Aids later, 181 00:09:54,378 --> 00:09:58,753 I finally found an outlet for my computer, but not my frustration. 182 00:10:06,086 --> 00:10:08,336 Relationships, no matter how good, 183 00:10:08,420 --> 00:10:10,920 are inevitably a series of compromises. 184 00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:12,795 But how much of ourselves 185 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,003 should we be willing to sacrifice for the other person 186 00:10:15,086 --> 00:10:17,045 before we stop being ourselves? 187 00:10:17,503 --> 00:10:18,836 In a relationship, 188 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:23,003 when does the art of compromise become compromising? 189 00:10:24,378 --> 00:10:25,378 Meanwhile, 190 00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:27,711 back at the center of the civilized world… 191 00:10:29,878 --> 00:10:31,253 So… 192 00:10:31,711 --> 00:10:33,003 what are you doing next weekend? 193 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,503 What did I say? 194 00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:41,878 Tired of being the "wake up and smell the coffee" girl 195 00:10:41,961 --> 00:10:44,878 Miranda invited Steve over for tea and sympathy. 196 00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:47,586 Or, in Steve's case, Chinese food and Chop Socky. 197 00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:50,128 I thought you hated these movies. 198 00:10:50,211 --> 00:10:52,170 Yeah, but you don't. 199 00:10:52,253 --> 00:10:55,795 And the guy at Video Village said this one rocks, so… 200 00:10:55,878 --> 00:10:58,003 Hey, you want the last spring roll? 201 00:10:58,086 --> 00:11:00,086 Uh, no, that's yours. 202 00:11:00,170 --> 00:11:01,920 No, I don't want it. You have it. 203 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:03,920 Oh, shit. 204 00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:07,211 They forgot the tea. Did you want tea? I could make some. 205 00:11:07,295 --> 00:11:08,670 That's it, I'm out of here. 206 00:11:09,128 --> 00:11:11,378 - Why? Where are you going? - Home. 207 00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:15,045 Think I wanna stay here and be treated like some fucking cancer patient? 208 00:11:15,753 --> 00:11:16,920 What are you talking about? 209 00:11:17,003 --> 00:11:18,670 Since when don't you want the last spring roll? 210 00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:21,378 You usually eat all the spring rolls. I'm lucky if I see a spring roll. 211 00:11:21,461 --> 00:11:23,461 I'm sorry, I felt bad. 212 00:11:24,211 --> 00:11:26,753 In the park, you obviously needed a shoulder to cry on. 213 00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:28,753 And I was a total bitch to you. 214 00:11:28,836 --> 00:11:29,920 Yeah, you were. 215 00:11:30,336 --> 00:11:31,670 You know what? Thank God. 216 00:11:31,753 --> 00:11:33,753 Because now I have a doctor who knows what he's doing. 217 00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:35,086 And I scheduled my operation, 218 00:11:35,170 --> 00:11:37,086 and I have insurance that's gonna pay for it. 219 00:11:38,253 --> 00:11:40,253 So thank you for being a huge bitch. 220 00:11:43,128 --> 00:11:44,211 Give me that spring roll. 221 00:11:49,003 --> 00:11:51,920 The next day at the MacDougals' Connecticut compound, 222 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,586 Bunny gave Charlotte a tour of her nursery. 223 00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:59,628 Since my boys have all grown up, my orchids have become my babies. 224 00:12:00,128 --> 00:12:01,128 And this year, 225 00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:06,128 Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium will be no match for my Rising Suns. 226 00:12:06,211 --> 00:12:09,253 - They're exquisite. - I'm pleased you think so, Charlotte. 227 00:12:09,878 --> 00:12:12,420 I've re-potted this one for you to take home. 228 00:12:12,503 --> 00:12:14,961 - Oh, no, I couldn't. - But I insist. 229 00:12:15,045 --> 00:12:19,253 A gift in anticipation of the great gift you're giving me. 230 00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:20,336 Oh. 231 00:12:22,378 --> 00:12:23,545 What gift is that? 232 00:12:23,628 --> 00:12:25,795 Why, a grandchild, my dear. 233 00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:29,753 You mustn't be cross with Trey for telling me. 234 00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,961 He knows how anxious I am 235 00:12:32,045 --> 00:12:35,128 to have a wee MacDougal to carry on the family name. 236 00:12:38,545 --> 00:12:40,503 I couldn't get any sleep at all last night. 237 00:12:40,586 --> 00:12:42,545 The silence out here is deafening. 238 00:12:42,961 --> 00:12:44,086 Well, you are in the country. 239 00:12:44,170 --> 00:12:48,545 Then I go to take a shower and there's no water, 240 00:12:48,628 --> 00:12:51,670 so now he's working on the pipes all day. 241 00:12:51,753 --> 00:12:54,586 So I finally had to leave the house before I dehydrated. 242 00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,336 Welcome to Frozen Cup. 243 00:12:56,420 --> 00:13:01,003 Yes, I'd like a cheeseburger, please, large fries, and a cosmopolitan. 244 00:13:01,086 --> 00:13:02,170 What? 245 00:13:02,253 --> 00:13:04,461 A strawberry shake, please! 246 00:13:04,545 --> 00:13:08,295 - Where are you? - Oh, I'm at the Frozen Cup in Ho-Ho-Kus. 247 00:13:08,378 --> 00:13:10,336 I had to freaking drive to New Jersey 248 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:12,420 to get cell service, and apparently, 249 00:13:12,503 --> 00:13:16,461 the only way to get anything to eat in the country is to make it yourself. 250 00:13:16,836 --> 00:13:18,586 I'm in no mood for Bisquick. 251 00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:20,003 It could be worse. 252 00:13:20,086 --> 00:13:23,003 Bunny's already picking out names and schools for her grandchild. 253 00:13:23,086 --> 00:13:24,336 I'm not even pregnant yet. 254 00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:26,961 She wouldn't even let the cook put shrimp in my omelette this morning. 255 00:13:27,045 --> 00:13:28,253 You have a cook? 256 00:13:28,336 --> 00:13:30,503 How far is my country from your country? 257 00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:33,336 - So how is it? How is the house? - The house? What house? 258 00:13:33,461 --> 00:13:35,336 He's got squirrels running in and out of there. 259 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:38,003 It's Animal Farm. Four legs good, two legs bad. 260 00:13:38,086 --> 00:13:40,795 - You didn't say that to him, did you? - No, no, no. 261 00:13:40,878 --> 00:13:42,003 He thinks I love it. 262 00:13:42,461 --> 00:13:44,128 I don't even know what I'm doing out here. 263 00:13:44,211 --> 00:13:45,670 You're keeping him company. 264 00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,545 I'm trying, but he's out there hoeing. 265 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,295 So try harder, go hoe. 266 00:13:50,753 --> 00:13:51,878 All right. 267 00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:55,170 So, uh… 268 00:13:57,045 --> 00:14:00,711 What are we gonna go? We gonna be schlepping these railroad ties 269 00:14:00,795 --> 00:14:02,503 over to the mudhole? 270 00:14:02,586 --> 00:14:03,836 - Yes, ma'am. - All righty, then. 271 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,628 - All right. Don't hurt yourself. - I'm not gonna hurt myself. 272 00:14:06,711 --> 00:14:08,503 - All right, ready? - Yeah. 273 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,586 Here you go. 274 00:14:10,378 --> 00:14:12,003 - Oh! You okay? - Shit. 275 00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:13,961 Yeah, I'm fine, it's just mud. 276 00:14:15,211 --> 00:14:16,545 - Okay. - Go, go, go. 277 00:14:17,003 --> 00:14:18,003 Oh, God. 278 00:14:24,086 --> 00:14:25,253 Okay, go. Go, go, go. 279 00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:28,420 Shit. 280 00:14:34,086 --> 00:14:36,086 Okay, I'm not being helpful anymore. 281 00:14:36,461 --> 00:14:38,253 I think I should get back to the city. 282 00:14:41,836 --> 00:14:45,295 I have that meeting to get ready for. 283 00:14:48,961 --> 00:14:51,545 And several showers to take. 284 00:14:52,003 --> 00:14:54,711 Four hours later, I kissed Aidan good-bye, 285 00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:58,378 kicked the mud off my boots, and had a New York steak with my New York ex. 286 00:14:58,461 --> 00:15:01,836 I tried, I really did, but nature and me, it's unnatural. 287 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,128 And I love being with Aidan. 288 00:15:03,211 --> 00:15:05,420 I mean, there's no one in the world that I would rather be… 289 00:15:07,545 --> 00:15:08,545 I'm sorry. 290 00:15:09,086 --> 00:15:11,045 Is it okay to talk to you about this stuff? Are you okay? 291 00:15:11,128 --> 00:15:12,253 Yeah, go ahead, I'm okay. 292 00:15:12,336 --> 00:15:14,795 Okay, good. I'm glad that we can talk about this stuff. And listen. 293 00:15:15,753 --> 00:15:17,211 If you ever meet someone, I want you to feel… 294 00:15:17,295 --> 00:15:18,378 I met someone. 295 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,420 Oh? 296 00:15:24,461 --> 00:15:25,461 Well… 297 00:15:27,378 --> 00:15:28,378 Oh. 298 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:29,795 Who is she? 299 00:15:30,795 --> 00:15:33,045 If I tell you, you can't tell anyone. 300 00:15:33,836 --> 00:15:37,086 Is she your imaginary girlfriend? 301 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:39,086 She's an actress. 302 00:15:40,545 --> 00:15:41,545 Willow Summers. 303 00:15:42,128 --> 00:15:44,503 She's not an actress, she's a movie star. 304 00:15:44,586 --> 00:15:47,503 Did you see that Spy Girl movie? I thought she was pretty good. 305 00:15:47,586 --> 00:15:48,670 I don't know about that. 306 00:15:48,753 --> 00:15:51,170 I do know she wears many wrong things on the red carpet. 307 00:15:51,670 --> 00:15:55,961 - I cannot believe you are dating some… - Shh! 308 00:15:56,045 --> 00:15:57,795 …someone named after a tree. 309 00:15:57,878 --> 00:16:00,461 - She's really something. - How'd you even meet her? 310 00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:03,711 She came up to me at her premiere thing and asked for a light, 311 00:16:04,461 --> 00:16:07,420 and said, "I have two vices, smoking and green-eyed men." 312 00:16:07,503 --> 00:16:08,503 Oh. 313 00:16:08,878 --> 00:16:09,961 She's a smoothie. 314 00:16:10,045 --> 00:16:12,836 We talked, had a few… 315 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,336 Went up to her hotel… 316 00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:17,628 Dress comes off, 317 00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:19,836 red panties. 318 00:16:20,503 --> 00:16:24,128 Kept her high heels on. I lifted her up, I put her on the bed… 319 00:16:24,211 --> 00:16:25,920 Okay, that's plenty. Thanks. 320 00:16:27,128 --> 00:16:29,711 That was about 30 seconds. I think I did pretty good. 321 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,753 How's the stock market treating you these days? 322 00:16:34,003 --> 00:16:36,378 The thing of it is, I can't get her out of my head. 323 00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:39,211 - Uh-huh. - She's crazy about me. 324 00:16:40,045 --> 00:16:42,003 Willow Summers is crazy about me. 325 00:16:42,086 --> 00:16:43,420 Well, someone's crazy. 326 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,378 I'm not kidding, Carrie. When I walked home from her hotel… 327 00:16:46,461 --> 00:16:48,878 - You walked? - Yeah. 328 00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:50,836 I thought, "This is something. 329 00:16:51,961 --> 00:16:53,128 There's something here." 330 00:16:55,045 --> 00:16:56,045 A connection. 331 00:16:56,628 --> 00:16:58,711 Yeah, the red panty, green-eyed connection. 332 00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:00,670 Fuck. 333 00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:03,503 I think I'm in love. 334 00:17:07,586 --> 00:17:09,253 As I walked off my Big dinner, 335 00:17:09,336 --> 00:17:12,461 I realized I'd gone from pretending I didn't hate being in the country 336 00:17:12,545 --> 00:17:15,461 to pretending I didn't hate listening to Big's Willow talk. 337 00:17:16,045 --> 00:17:19,836 I may have been back in the city, but now I was really suffer'n. 338 00:17:28,461 --> 00:17:31,420 One thing was clear. I had to get back to the country. 339 00:17:31,795 --> 00:17:35,920 But this time, I wouldn't rely on the country to provide entertainment. 340 00:17:36,003 --> 00:17:38,003 I would take entertainment with me… 341 00:17:38,086 --> 00:17:40,545 otherwise known as Samantha. 342 00:17:41,211 --> 00:17:42,503 What's next, Samantha? 343 00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:44,378 You've got to be kidding me. 344 00:17:44,461 --> 00:17:46,711 Hey, come on. We're baking a pie here. 345 00:17:46,795 --> 00:17:48,628 No, you're baking a pie. I'm just baking. 346 00:17:49,086 --> 00:17:51,128 It's hotter in here than it is outside. 347 00:17:51,211 --> 00:17:53,128 Can't we turn on the air conditioning or something? 348 00:17:53,211 --> 00:17:54,253 "One cup of milk." 349 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:55,920 No, we can't. 350 00:17:57,503 --> 00:17:58,753 There is no air conditioner. 351 00:17:59,961 --> 00:18:01,878 Or milk, for that matter. 352 00:18:02,711 --> 00:18:06,253 - What time's the next train? - No, you can't go. 353 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,878 You have to entertain me when Aidan goes to bed in about an hour. 354 00:18:08,961 --> 00:18:11,086 You lured me here under false pretenses. 355 00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:13,586 No, I told you that it was rustic. 356 00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,711 Oh, honey, don't kid yourself. It's a dump. 357 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:19,211 Hey. Aidan worked very hard on this place. 358 00:18:19,836 --> 00:18:21,253 You know he put that hot water heater in 359 00:18:21,336 --> 00:18:23,170 - all by himself? - Mmm-hmm. 360 00:18:23,253 --> 00:18:25,045 - With his own bare hands. - Mmm-hmm. 361 00:18:25,128 --> 00:18:27,295 Actually, I was wearing gloves at the time, 362 00:18:27,378 --> 00:18:28,878 but thanks for the shout-out. 363 00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:32,795 Is it hot in here, or is it just me? 364 00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,045 It isn't you. 365 00:18:35,461 --> 00:18:37,253 I'm pre-heating the oven. 366 00:18:37,336 --> 00:18:39,336 It couldn't be any hotter in here. 367 00:18:40,378 --> 00:18:41,461 Or could it? 368 00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:45,670 Who's the farmer with the delts? 369 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,503 Young MacDonald? 370 00:18:50,961 --> 00:18:52,961 Ooh. E-I-E-I-O. 371 00:18:53,045 --> 00:18:54,086 That's Luke Gilmore. 372 00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:56,670 Came out here from the city after the last big market crash. 373 00:18:56,753 --> 00:18:59,420 Doesn't say much, kind of keeps to himself. 374 00:19:00,211 --> 00:19:01,503 So, what does he do out here? 375 00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:03,961 Push-ups, by the look of him. 376 00:19:08,795 --> 00:19:09,795 Oh, no. 377 00:19:10,795 --> 00:19:13,295 - What are you up to, Sammy-Jo? - Honey… 378 00:19:14,045 --> 00:19:15,670 If we're gonna bake us a pie, 379 00:19:16,378 --> 00:19:17,836 we're gonna need us some milk. 380 00:19:26,170 --> 00:19:28,670 Yoo-hoo! Anybody home? 381 00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:40,003 - You lost? - No. 382 00:19:40,086 --> 00:19:43,753 I'm staying next door, and I'm baking a pie from scratch. 383 00:19:43,836 --> 00:19:45,253 And I suddenly realized… 384 00:19:46,128 --> 00:19:47,378 fresh out of milk. 385 00:19:49,253 --> 00:19:50,253 Help yourself. 386 00:20:07,753 --> 00:20:10,420 - You from New York City? - Uh, yes. 387 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:15,170 But only until I can afford a little farm all my own. 388 00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:20,878 Ever milk a cow before? 389 00:20:21,461 --> 00:20:22,503 No. 390 00:20:24,711 --> 00:20:27,836 But something tells me I'd be very good at it. 391 00:20:33,003 --> 00:20:35,545 Squeeze off the milk with your thumb and forefinger. 392 00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:38,503 - Uh-huh. - Then roll down into a fist. 393 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,628 Squeeze and roll. 394 00:20:41,586 --> 00:20:43,670 Squeeze and roll. 395 00:20:43,753 --> 00:20:45,711 Squeeze and roll. 396 00:20:45,795 --> 00:20:47,211 I think I can do that. 397 00:20:48,545 --> 00:20:50,753 Squeeze and roll. 398 00:20:50,836 --> 00:20:51,836 Squeeze… 399 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,503 I usually get a little warning before that happens. 400 00:21:00,878 --> 00:21:02,670 I guess it just takes practice. 401 00:21:04,670 --> 00:21:06,836 Anything else around here need milking? 402 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,670 While Samantha worked up an appetite… 403 00:21:12,753 --> 00:21:13,961 Trey, are you up here? 404 00:21:14,045 --> 00:21:15,170 …Charlotte's eggs were ready. 405 00:21:15,253 --> 00:21:18,586 - In the bath. - It's time! I'm ovulating! 406 00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:21,170 So get out of the tub, get into this bed, 407 00:21:21,253 --> 00:21:22,961 and make love to me right now. 408 00:21:25,045 --> 00:21:26,920 Charlotte, I was just telling Trey 409 00:21:27,003 --> 00:21:30,378 how much you remind me of myself at your age. 410 00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:39,170 There you are. What are you doing in here? 411 00:21:39,253 --> 00:21:40,753 What were you doing up there? 412 00:21:40,836 --> 00:21:42,045 Up where? What do you mean? 413 00:21:42,545 --> 00:21:45,503 What do you mean what do I mean? Your mother was watching you bathe. 414 00:21:45,586 --> 00:21:47,670 She was not watching me bathe. 415 00:21:47,753 --> 00:21:49,753 We were having a conversation while I was in the bath. 416 00:21:49,836 --> 00:21:51,628 I don't know how you were brought up, 417 00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:56,753 but that is not acceptable parent-child bath-time behavior past the age of 5. 418 00:21:56,836 --> 00:21:58,545 Even 4, in some cases. 419 00:21:59,003 --> 00:22:01,045 And if you think that I'm bringing a child into that, 420 00:22:01,128 --> 00:22:04,545 that I will be that kind of mother, then you better think again. 421 00:22:04,628 --> 00:22:07,545 She may have raised you like that, but I am not your mother. 422 00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:13,545 I was raised by a woman named Eva Neal. 423 00:22:14,711 --> 00:22:15,795 She was my nanny. 424 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,670 I don't remember ever seeing my mother, 425 00:22:21,461 --> 00:22:25,170 ever, except after her tennis lesson and before the cocktail hour 426 00:22:25,253 --> 00:22:26,461 when she would draw me a bath 427 00:22:26,545 --> 00:22:28,295 and she would tell me how she spent her day. 428 00:22:29,295 --> 00:22:31,211 So, I know, I have always known 429 00:22:31,295 --> 00:22:34,086 that you could never ever be that kind of mother. 430 00:22:36,420 --> 00:22:38,920 That's my ovaries. I'm ovulating. 431 00:22:40,003 --> 00:22:41,461 We'd better get to work. 432 00:22:41,545 --> 00:22:43,253 Okay, but I have to get in the right position. 433 00:22:43,336 --> 00:22:44,753 All right, so just wait, stop. 434 00:22:44,836 --> 00:22:47,545 Wait, not like that. I have to get my legs up. Okay, up… 435 00:22:47,628 --> 00:22:49,128 While trying to make a baby, 436 00:22:49,211 --> 00:22:52,045 Charlotte and Trey accidentally destroyed Bunny's, 437 00:22:52,128 --> 00:22:55,420 and Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium won first prize 438 00:22:55,503 --> 00:22:57,086 for the second year in a row. 439 00:22:58,378 --> 00:22:59,670 Back in New York, 440 00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:03,045 the patient, Steve, was greeted by a patient Miranda. 441 00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:09,378 - Hey. - Hey. 442 00:23:10,753 --> 00:23:11,961 - You're up. - Mmm. 443 00:23:12,586 --> 00:23:13,586 How are you? 444 00:23:15,711 --> 00:23:16,711 On drugs. 445 00:23:18,711 --> 00:23:21,003 - How long you been here? - Not long. 446 00:23:22,545 --> 00:23:25,336 - A while. Is that okay? - Hmm. 447 00:23:26,628 --> 00:23:27,628 I, um… 448 00:23:29,295 --> 00:23:30,461 I talked to the doctor. 449 00:23:30,878 --> 00:23:33,003 - Oh, yeah, how's he? - He, uh… 450 00:23:33,461 --> 00:23:35,378 He said everything looked pretty good down there. 451 00:23:36,503 --> 00:23:38,753 I told him, frankly, I'd seen better. 452 00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:40,920 - Ouch. - Sorry. 453 00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:43,961 Visiting hours are over. You're going to have to leave now. 454 00:23:44,045 --> 00:23:46,711 Uh, no, I'm sorry, I don't think so. 455 00:23:46,795 --> 00:23:50,378 - Are you a family member? - I'm his in-case-of-emergency person. 456 00:23:50,461 --> 00:23:52,878 It's okay, Miranda, if you wanna go… 457 00:23:52,961 --> 00:23:54,545 Shut up or I'll give you a sponge bath. 458 00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,170 Twenty minutes. 459 00:23:59,045 --> 00:24:00,045 Drink your juice. 460 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,461 Meanwhile, on his farm, Young MacDonald had Samantha. 461 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,420 That was good. 462 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:25,378 You're a man of few words, but they're all the right ones. 463 00:24:26,461 --> 00:24:27,878 What are you doing next weekend? 464 00:24:32,086 --> 00:24:33,211 Look! 465 00:24:34,420 --> 00:24:35,795 I made crust. 466 00:24:36,295 --> 00:24:38,836 Now all we have to do is put apples in, and it's pie. 467 00:24:39,586 --> 00:24:42,253 - Look at that. - No, you don't understand. 468 00:24:42,336 --> 00:24:45,336 The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen 469 00:24:45,420 --> 00:24:47,586 is a mess, and several little fires. 470 00:24:47,670 --> 00:24:49,878 So come one, you feel like peeling some apples? 471 00:24:50,420 --> 00:24:54,628 - I feel like taking a shower. - Now? Oh, no! 472 00:24:54,711 --> 00:24:57,378 Come on, you've been outside all day. I've been cooped up in here. 473 00:24:57,878 --> 00:25:00,128 Look, we'll do it together. It'll be fun, all right? 474 00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:05,878 - It's a squirrel! - God damn it! 475 00:25:05,961 --> 00:25:08,461 - Oh, God. - Are you okay? 476 00:25:08,545 --> 00:25:10,503 No, I am not okay! 477 00:25:11,336 --> 00:25:12,836 I burned my legs! 478 00:25:14,170 --> 00:25:15,170 And I… 479 00:25:16,295 --> 00:25:17,295 God. 480 00:25:18,003 --> 00:25:20,420 I hate that squirrel. I hate this oven. 481 00:25:21,753 --> 00:25:24,378 I hate this. 482 00:25:24,461 --> 00:25:26,586 House. Just say it, you hate the house. 483 00:25:26,670 --> 00:25:28,420 - I hate the house. - Thank you. 484 00:25:29,711 --> 00:25:31,420 Well, I'm sorry, I just… 485 00:25:32,503 --> 00:25:36,503 I just… I don't belong here. I don't know where anything goes. 486 00:25:37,003 --> 00:25:38,170 And I burned my legs. 487 00:25:39,003 --> 00:25:40,920 - It really hurts. - Come here. 488 00:25:41,961 --> 00:25:43,461 Jump up here. Come on. 489 00:25:48,211 --> 00:25:49,711 Where is it? Oh, there it is. 490 00:25:57,461 --> 00:25:58,461 Is that better? 491 00:26:00,295 --> 00:26:01,295 Huh? 492 00:26:02,711 --> 00:26:03,711 I'm sorry. 493 00:26:06,961 --> 00:26:08,295 I don't hate the house. 494 00:26:09,503 --> 00:26:10,961 I hate the squirrel. 495 00:26:11,836 --> 00:26:13,170 The squirrel's not so bad. 496 00:26:14,711 --> 00:26:16,920 The house, it'll get better. 497 00:26:17,503 --> 00:26:18,503 You'll see. 498 00:26:19,461 --> 00:26:22,003 Maybe from now on I should just come up on the weekends. 499 00:26:22,086 --> 00:26:24,211 Yeah, or every other weekend. 500 00:26:27,128 --> 00:26:29,586 - I don't have to come at all. - Okay. 501 00:26:38,628 --> 00:26:39,628 Weekends are good. 502 00:26:53,253 --> 00:26:57,503 One slow train ride and two fast-food apple pies later… 503 00:26:57,586 --> 00:27:00,086 - These are surprisingly delicious. - I know. 504 00:27:00,586 --> 00:27:02,628 Why would anybody go to the trouble of making one 505 00:27:02,711 --> 00:27:05,420 when you can buy one that's so perfect and individually sized? 506 00:27:06,795 --> 00:27:08,753 - Wait a minute, hold still, sweetie. - What? 507 00:27:11,586 --> 00:27:12,586 Souvenir? 508 00:27:13,045 --> 00:27:15,503 Please, I am never leaving this city again. 509 00:27:15,586 --> 00:27:16,586 Taxi! 510 00:27:18,295 --> 00:27:20,836 Actually, the country's looking pretty good to me right about now. 511 00:27:21,503 --> 00:27:24,003 Really? So you'll be back next weekend? 512 00:27:24,086 --> 00:27:26,753 Um… Not next weekend, no. 513 00:27:26,836 --> 00:27:28,461 So when are you going back? 514 00:27:30,753 --> 00:27:32,753 You gonna finish that pie? 515 00:27:33,753 --> 00:27:36,711 In the end, of course, Aidan and I compromised. 516 00:27:36,795 --> 00:27:38,711 - He spent money on air conditioning. - Taxi! 517 00:27:38,795 --> 00:27:41,170 And I spent enough time in Suffern 518 00:27:41,253 --> 00:27:47,086 to realize that city girls are just country girls with cuter outfits. 519 00:27:47,170 --> 00:27:49,253 I got a cab.