1 00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:52,281 In life, sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads. 2 00:00:52,906 --> 00:00:57,698 In New York, that crossroads tends to be busy, and very loud. 3 00:00:57,781 --> 00:00:58,781 Wait! 4 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,531 Sorry, you're waiting. 5 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,323 I know, I'm ten minutes late. 6 00:01:07,281 --> 00:01:08,823 Well, I'm three weeks late. 7 00:01:09,406 --> 00:01:10,823 - What? - I'm pregnant. 8 00:01:10,906 --> 00:01:11,906 Spare change? 9 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,573 - Uh, I'm sorry, I only have a… - I got it. 10 00:01:16,781 --> 00:01:18,281 You are beautiful ladies. 11 00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:21,073 You'll make some man very happy. 12 00:01:22,781 --> 00:01:24,906 You're pregnant? Really? 13 00:01:25,406 --> 00:01:27,448 No, I just thought it might be a fun thing to say. 14 00:01:28,073 --> 00:01:29,906 - Fuck. - You're sure? 15 00:01:30,406 --> 00:01:33,615 I took three EPT tests and I'm coming from my doctor. 16 00:01:33,698 --> 00:01:35,448 Which is why I called you to meet me way down here 17 00:01:35,531 --> 00:01:37,948 on the corner of 23rd and "I'm In Hell." 18 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,615 When have you been having sex? 19 00:01:40,031 --> 00:01:41,948 I did not mean that the way it sounds. 20 00:01:42,365 --> 00:01:43,365 Steve. 21 00:01:44,781 --> 00:01:46,531 You're sleeping with Steve? 22 00:01:46,615 --> 00:01:48,948 Slept. Once. Singular. 23 00:01:49,031 --> 00:01:51,698 It was a mercy fuck. I felt bad he only had one ball. 24 00:01:51,781 --> 00:01:54,365 - Well, I guess that's all he needed. - No kidding. 25 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,656 Apparently, the other one was purely ornamental. 26 00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:59,531 God, I'm such a fucking idiot! Why didn't I use a condom? 27 00:01:59,615 --> 00:02:00,865 You really didn't use a… 28 00:02:00,948 --> 00:02:03,740 He only has one ball, and I have a lazy ovary. 29 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,198 In what twisted world does that create a baby? 30 00:02:06,281 --> 00:02:07,281 Yeah, I see your point. 31 00:02:07,365 --> 00:02:09,240 It's like the Special Olympics of conception. 32 00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:10,740 Have you told him? 33 00:02:11,406 --> 00:02:13,115 Why would I tell him? I'm not having it. 34 00:02:13,198 --> 00:02:14,198 Right. 35 00:02:16,115 --> 00:02:17,656 Is it okay not to tell him? 36 00:02:18,198 --> 00:02:19,740 I don't know. Is it? 37 00:02:21,365 --> 00:02:23,573 While Miranda took a pregnant pause, 38 00:02:25,323 --> 00:02:28,323 Charlotte got an unpleasant surprise of her own… 39 00:02:31,115 --> 00:02:32,323 her period. 40 00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:37,531 Hey, look, Charlotte brought party favors. 41 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,865 I'm never getting pregnant. 42 00:02:38,948 --> 00:02:41,781 Would you please move the Tampax away from my toast points. 43 00:02:41,865 --> 00:02:43,073 When I think of all those women 44 00:02:43,156 --> 00:02:45,531 every day, getting pregnant, getting pregnant, getting pregnant. 45 00:02:45,615 --> 00:02:47,240 I've been trying for five months, nothing. 46 00:02:47,323 --> 00:02:48,948 Charlotte, honey, don't worry. You'll get pregnant. 47 00:02:49,031 --> 00:02:50,115 When? 48 00:02:50,198 --> 00:02:53,573 A woman of 35 has only a 30% chance of conceiving. 49 00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:55,406 And then the numbers just go down from there. 50 00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:56,531 Numbers can be wrong. 51 00:02:56,615 --> 00:02:57,906 If it's so hard to get pregnant, 52 00:02:57,990 --> 00:03:00,365 how do you account for the number of crying children on planes? 53 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,448 This is not a laughing matter. 54 00:03:02,531 --> 00:03:03,516 Oh, I'm sorry, 55 00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:06,198 I thought this was brunch, not a fertility seminar. 56 00:03:06,281 --> 00:03:08,031 Okay, let's all just… 57 00:03:09,073 --> 00:03:10,990 Charlotte, should we get you a menu? 58 00:03:11,698 --> 00:03:12,948 It's me. 59 00:03:13,031 --> 00:03:14,490 I probably can't have a baby. 60 00:03:15,073 --> 00:03:17,156 - Don't say that. - It's true. 61 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,781 Trey checked out fine. It's me, I know it's me. 62 00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:22,031 - It's not you. - Then what is it? 63 00:03:22,573 --> 00:03:24,865 I keep hearing all these stories about people getting pregnant 64 00:03:24,948 --> 00:03:26,281 just looking at each other. 65 00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:30,448 And I do it on my head, on my side, on my back, 66 00:03:30,531 --> 00:03:32,031 on the top, on the bottom, 67 00:03:32,115 --> 00:03:33,615 on the top, then the bottom… 68 00:03:33,698 --> 00:03:35,406 Now this is brunch talk. 69 00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:38,448 Do you know how many times Trey and I have done it without a condom? 70 00:03:38,531 --> 00:03:39,906 - Seventy-three. - Mmm! 71 00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:43,281 Have you any idea how much perfectly fine semen that is? 72 00:03:44,031 --> 00:03:46,240 No. Samantha, rough estimate? 73 00:03:46,948 --> 00:03:49,698 Enough for me to know in my bones that it's me. 74 00:03:50,073 --> 00:03:51,281 And the big joke is 75 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,365 I spent my entire 20s worried that I'd get pregnant. 76 00:03:53,448 --> 00:03:55,323 I could've been screwing everything in sight. 77 00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:56,490 Coulda, woulda, shoulda. 78 00:03:56,573 --> 00:03:58,698 I should've been so lucky to get pregnant by mistake. 79 00:04:00,948 --> 00:04:04,115 Okay, what's with the eyes, Miranda? 80 00:04:04,448 --> 00:04:05,448 Nothing. 81 00:04:06,365 --> 00:04:08,656 You're just sitting there, you haven't said a word, 82 00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:10,865 - and you're making "the eyes." - It's nothing. 83 00:04:10,948 --> 00:04:13,323 - You think I'm pathetic or something? - It's not about you. 84 00:04:13,406 --> 00:04:15,031 What's not about me? 85 00:04:15,115 --> 00:04:17,823 I cannot think of a worse time to tell you this. 86 00:04:17,906 --> 00:04:19,156 Oh, man. 87 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,948 What the F is going on? 88 00:04:22,031 --> 00:04:23,156 I'm pregnant. 89 00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:28,448 - Steve. - Mercy fuck? 90 00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:32,573 He only has one ball, it isn't fair! 91 00:04:32,656 --> 00:04:34,656 Char, honey, take a breath. Here, honey, have a sip of water. 92 00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:36,031 How could you do this to me? 93 00:04:36,115 --> 00:04:37,156 To you? 94 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,531 Okay, stop, please. Stop. 95 00:04:39,615 --> 00:04:40,698 What are you gonna do? 96 00:04:45,281 --> 00:04:48,240 You're not even going to consider having it? 97 00:04:48,323 --> 00:04:51,031 This is not in my plans right now, 98 00:04:51,115 --> 00:04:54,198 and I really feel awful talking about this in front of you. 99 00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:57,573 - Then I'll leave. - No. 100 00:04:57,656 --> 00:04:59,698 You can just sit here and have your abortion talk. 101 00:04:59,781 --> 00:05:01,323 Come on, Charlotte, please, sit down. 102 00:05:04,656 --> 00:05:05,558 Oh. 103 00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:09,031 She didn't mean it. All she can think about right now is babies. 104 00:05:09,115 --> 00:05:11,906 - She makes me sound so… - Don't do that. 105 00:05:12,781 --> 00:05:16,365 Okay, it's less than a desirable situation, but it happens. 106 00:05:16,448 --> 00:05:18,531 - We've all been there. - I haven't. 107 00:05:19,031 --> 00:05:21,448 I've had two. Carrie, how many have you had? 108 00:05:21,531 --> 00:05:22,948 Uh, one. 109 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,198 Oh, right, that waiter at TGI Friday's. 110 00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:29,281 TGI Friday's? Please, can we not make this worse than it was? 111 00:05:29,365 --> 00:05:31,906 He was a waiter at the Saloon, okay? 112 00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:37,115 And let me remind you, in 1988, the Saloon was very happening. 113 00:05:37,198 --> 00:05:38,406 Apparently. 114 00:05:42,531 --> 00:05:44,531 You ready yet? We're approaching the 20-minute mark. 115 00:05:44,615 --> 00:05:46,406 - Let's go. - Okay. 116 00:05:52,031 --> 00:05:53,031 Hey… 117 00:05:54,656 --> 00:05:56,156 - What? - Nothing. 118 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,740 What? 119 00:06:10,031 --> 00:06:11,115 Are you cuckoo now? 120 00:06:12,615 --> 00:06:14,198 Are you going cuckoo on me? 121 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,656 Okay, I wanna tell you something, 122 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,615 but if I tell you, 123 00:06:22,323 --> 00:06:23,990 you have to swear you're not gonna tell anyone. 124 00:06:25,490 --> 00:06:27,573 - I promise. - Here. 125 00:06:29,115 --> 00:06:31,115 - Swear on Chanel. - I swear. 126 00:06:34,115 --> 00:06:36,281 Okay, Miranda's pregnant and she's having an abortion. 127 00:06:36,365 --> 00:06:37,656 Oh, man. 128 00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:39,406 And Charlotte's devastated, you know, 129 00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:41,323 because she's been trying to get pregnant. 130 00:06:41,406 --> 00:06:44,448 She's been having a really hard time, and it's just bad all around. 131 00:06:44,948 --> 00:06:46,656 All right, come here, come here, come here. 132 00:06:48,406 --> 00:06:51,573 Well, if Miranda doesn't want the kid, can't she just give it to Charlotte? 133 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,740 No, it's not like a sweater. 134 00:06:56,031 --> 00:06:57,781 Oh, man. 135 00:06:59,698 --> 00:07:00,698 Who's the guy? 136 00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,281 See, this is the reason that you can't tell anyone. 137 00:07:07,281 --> 00:07:10,031 It's Steve. And he doesn't know. 138 00:07:10,115 --> 00:07:11,865 Oh, come on! 139 00:07:12,781 --> 00:07:13,781 What? 140 00:07:14,573 --> 00:07:16,323 I feel like you just trapped me. 141 00:07:16,406 --> 00:07:19,115 Well, I'm sorry, I had to tell you. 142 00:07:19,198 --> 00:07:23,281 It's all I could think about. Look, I can't even pick a shoe. 143 00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:25,531 She's gonna do it without telling him. 144 00:07:32,781 --> 00:07:35,240 - What? - What? It's his baby too. 145 00:07:36,365 --> 00:07:39,198 Well, technically, it's not gonna be anybody's baby. 146 00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:42,073 So, what? It's all her decision? 147 00:07:43,323 --> 00:07:45,448 Seems like the guy gets the shit end of the stick. 148 00:07:47,531 --> 00:07:48,531 Well… 149 00:07:49,031 --> 00:07:53,198 I don't know. You know, it's a tough situation. I don't know. 150 00:07:54,698 --> 00:07:55,740 You ever had one? 151 00:07:57,531 --> 00:07:58,531 No. 152 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,323 God, no. 153 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,115 Thank God. 154 00:08:04,115 --> 00:08:06,656 - Look at that one, isn't it adorable? - Which one? 155 00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:08,990 The red one in the middle. I love it. 156 00:08:09,073 --> 00:08:12,615 The Birkin bag? Really? That's not even your style. 157 00:08:12,698 --> 00:08:15,906 Oh, honey, it's not so much the style as what carrying it means. 158 00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:18,448 - It means you're out 4,000 bucks. - Exactly. 159 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:21,573 When I'm tooling around town with that bag, I'll know I've made it. 160 00:08:22,031 --> 00:08:23,740 Okay, let's go, the visiting hours are over. 161 00:08:24,448 --> 00:08:25,740 Bye-bye, Birkin. 162 00:08:28,531 --> 00:08:31,698 - I'm going with Miranda when she goes. - Oh, good. 163 00:08:31,781 --> 00:08:33,906 I was alone and it was awful. 164 00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:35,656 Why didn't you ask somebody to go with you? 165 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:38,781 It's not the kind of thing you list on the dorm activities board. 166 00:08:38,865 --> 00:08:40,740 I lied to Aidan about having one. 167 00:08:41,323 --> 00:08:43,615 I don't know, it just kind of came out. 168 00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:46,365 And the thing is, I think he seemed relieved. 169 00:08:46,448 --> 00:08:49,490 That he could still think of me in a certain way. 170 00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:51,240 I don't know why I lied to him. 171 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,406 Maybe you still want him to think of you in a certain way. 172 00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,615 It happened. You made the right decision at the time. 173 00:08:58,698 --> 00:09:01,323 Yeah, I know, but I never told the guy or anything. 174 00:09:01,406 --> 00:09:03,781 Look, you can't go down that road. 175 00:09:03,865 --> 00:09:05,781 Did you really want to have a child 176 00:09:05,865 --> 00:09:08,281 a guy who serves burgers on roller skates? 177 00:09:08,365 --> 00:09:11,698 - I could have a 13-year-old child. - Oh, yes, you could. 178 00:09:12,031 --> 00:09:13,865 - But then I wouldn't have known you. - Mmm. 179 00:09:13,948 --> 00:09:15,156 Can you imagine it? 180 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,698 No, I can't. 181 00:09:18,573 --> 00:09:19,781 I should've told Aidan. 182 00:09:19,865 --> 00:09:21,865 Ah, coulda, woulda, shoulda. 183 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,573 So many roads, so many detours. 184 00:09:27,115 --> 00:09:30,073 So many choices, so many mistakes. 185 00:09:30,990 --> 00:09:32,906 As we drive along this road called life, 186 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,948 occasionally, a gal will find herself a little lost. 187 00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:37,490 And when that happens, 188 00:09:37,531 --> 00:09:40,323 I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, 189 00:09:40,406 --> 00:09:42,240 buckle up, and just keep going. 190 00:09:43,156 --> 00:09:44,781 As we speed along this endless road 191 00:09:44,865 --> 00:09:48,323 to the destination called "Who We Hope To Be," 192 00:09:48,406 --> 00:09:50,531 I can't help but whine: 193 00:09:50,615 --> 00:09:52,115 Are we there yet? 194 00:09:53,656 --> 00:09:54,656 Ow. 195 00:09:55,073 --> 00:09:56,990 For a publicist like Samantha, 196 00:09:57,073 --> 00:10:00,198 the road to success was paved with stars. 197 00:10:00,281 --> 00:10:02,531 Case in point, lunch with Lucy Liu. 198 00:10:02,615 --> 00:10:04,698 I had no idea you were from New York. 199 00:10:04,781 --> 00:10:07,406 I'm a total New York City girl from Queens. 200 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:10,740 That's amazing. I just don't get Queens from you. 201 00:10:10,823 --> 00:10:12,948 Look, bitch, don't start with me, right? 202 00:10:13,031 --> 00:10:15,406 That's good. 203 00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:18,656 Okay, here's what I need. 204 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,740 - I'm looking for someone from New York. - Mmm-hmm. 205 00:10:20,823 --> 00:10:23,906 My last PR guy was really hooked up, but he was a total liar. 206 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,156 - Ugh! - I'm a big girl, just tell me the truth. 207 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,323 I can take it, you know. 208 00:10:29,115 --> 00:10:31,281 - You want the truth? - Mmm-hmm. 209 00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:34,281 Your last Golden Globe dress was a disaster. 210 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,906 Thank you, that's what I thought, 211 00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:40,031 but all these queens kept telling me it was fierce. 212 00:10:40,115 --> 00:10:42,740 A girl from Queens should know better than to listen to queens. 213 00:10:42,823 --> 00:10:44,240 - Right? - Right. 214 00:10:45,615 --> 00:10:47,698 Oh, another thing. I was a waitress, and, um… 215 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:52,198 25%, very nice. 216 00:10:52,698 --> 00:10:54,156 When I'm representing you, 217 00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,531 it's class all the way. 218 00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:03,781 - It's 4,000. - I know. 219 00:11:03,865 --> 00:11:05,948 - And there's a waiting list. - I assumed. 220 00:11:06,031 --> 00:11:07,031 Five years. 221 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,740 - For a bag? - It's not a bag. 222 00:11:11,323 --> 00:11:12,365 It's a Birkin. 223 00:11:13,865 --> 00:11:16,656 Samantha was never one for waiting in line. 224 00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:18,656 So she cut right to the front. 225 00:11:19,406 --> 00:11:22,031 Oh, it's not for me, it's for Lucy Liu. 226 00:11:22,656 --> 00:11:23,698 I'm her press rep, 227 00:11:23,781 --> 00:11:27,198 and I would love for her to carry this bag to a premiere next week. 228 00:11:27,281 --> 00:11:28,906 It would be photographed to death. 229 00:11:29,448 --> 00:11:31,781 Does, um, that make a difference? 230 00:11:32,823 --> 00:11:36,323 Let me get Francesca, our press rep, on the phone. 231 00:11:36,406 --> 00:11:38,448 Would you? How very helpful. 232 00:11:44,198 --> 00:11:46,031 And over on Park Avenue, 233 00:11:46,115 --> 00:11:49,365 Charlotte decided she couldn't wait any longer, either. 234 00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:52,156 Yes, I'm calling to make an appointment with Dr. Peck. 235 00:11:53,448 --> 00:11:54,448 Um… 236 00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:56,115 We're having some… 237 00:11:56,781 --> 00:11:58,323 I'm having some difficulty. 238 00:11:59,906 --> 00:12:02,281 I think I need some fertility testing. 239 00:12:02,365 --> 00:12:06,156 Yes, I would, uh, like to make an appointment with Dr. Genya. 240 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,948 I need to come in for a, uh… 241 00:12:10,406 --> 00:12:13,031 procedure. I'm pregnant. And I… 242 00:12:14,573 --> 00:12:16,073 need not to be. 243 00:12:17,198 --> 00:12:20,240 A couple of days later, Samantha went down a road she shouldn't. 244 00:12:27,406 --> 00:12:31,490 Hello. Francesca? Samantha Jones. 245 00:12:31,573 --> 00:12:34,990 Question. How the fuck long does Lucy Liu have to wait for that Birkin? 246 00:12:35,073 --> 00:12:37,865 Well, if they're so hard to get, maybe you can explain 247 00:12:37,948 --> 00:12:40,490 why I just saw a fucking nobody in a track suit 248 00:12:40,573 --> 00:12:42,698 carrying the exact one we want. 249 00:12:42,781 --> 00:12:47,156 Lucy Liu is a big, big fucking star, and she wants that bag. 250 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,615 Is "Hermès" French for "We take our good old fucking time"? 251 00:12:51,156 --> 00:12:52,906 Thank you so much. 252 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,656 Hey. 253 00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:05,031 Oh, my God. 254 00:13:06,115 --> 00:13:08,531 - You scared me. - Sorry. 255 00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:11,531 It's not a breaking and entering. We were playing basketball 256 00:13:11,615 --> 00:13:13,198 and your guy needed to take a leak. 257 00:13:13,698 --> 00:13:15,198 - Oh. - Be right out. 258 00:13:15,281 --> 00:13:16,823 - So, what's new? - Nothing. 259 00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:20,948 Absolutely nothing. 260 00:13:26,448 --> 00:13:27,656 So how are things? 261 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:28,990 Uh… 262 00:13:29,073 --> 00:13:31,990 The bar's busting my hump, but it's pretty good. Yeah. 263 00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:34,156 So, hey, how's Miranda? Is she okay? 264 00:13:35,073 --> 00:13:35,975 What do you mean? 265 00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:37,865 I've been calling, she don't call me back. 266 00:13:37,948 --> 00:13:39,198 Oh, she's great. 267 00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:42,781 - Yeah? - Mmm-hmm. 268 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,281 - She must be pretty busy then, I guess. - Uh… 269 00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:53,198 Hey, pudding. 270 00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:56,698 - Did you tell him? - What? 271 00:13:57,490 --> 00:13:59,573 - About Miranda and the… - No. 272 00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:01,448 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 273 00:14:01,531 --> 00:14:03,115 He's asking about Miranda. 274 00:14:03,656 --> 00:14:06,198 - He always asks about Miranda. - You told him, didn't you? 275 00:14:06,865 --> 00:14:08,448 - No. - Listen, Aidan, it's okay. 276 00:14:08,531 --> 00:14:10,531 I can't keep secrets either. Obviously. 277 00:14:10,615 --> 00:14:11,781 I didn't tell him anything. 278 00:14:11,865 --> 00:14:14,698 - He's looking at me funny. - That's the way he looks at everyone. 279 00:14:14,781 --> 00:14:15,823 Are you sure? 280 00:14:15,906 --> 00:14:17,656 I didn't tell him, but I think he deserves to know. 281 00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,906 - What does that mean? - I don't agree with what she's doing. 282 00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,615 Well, it doesn't really have anything to do with you, does it? 283 00:14:22,698 --> 00:14:26,656 Hey, chief, you told me. I'd just as soon not know any of it. 284 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:31,615 Listen, sometimes you get in situations that are hard… 285 00:14:31,698 --> 00:14:33,406 We should not be having this conversation 286 00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:36,281 with him out in the next room. So just go, go. 287 00:14:38,073 --> 00:14:40,281 Go, because he's probably listening. 288 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,323 - What's bugging you? - Nothing. 289 00:14:46,823 --> 00:14:48,073 Hey, let's go. 290 00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:52,781 Hey, tell Miranda I said hi. 291 00:14:52,865 --> 00:14:54,448 - Okay. - Okay. 292 00:15:00,198 --> 00:15:03,906 I'm on a wait list. My regular doctor doesn't do them. 293 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,656 "No judgement." That's the way she said it. 294 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,990 Like it was all one word. "I-don't-perform-them-no-judgement." 295 00:15:10,073 --> 00:15:13,198 So I'm waiting to see if this other doctor can fit me in. 296 00:15:13,281 --> 00:15:14,990 I want to get it over with as soon as possible. 297 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,698 Have you thought any more about telling Steve? 298 00:15:18,865 --> 00:15:20,656 No, why would I tell Steve? 299 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:23,531 I don't know, maybe he has a right to know. No judgement. 300 00:15:23,615 --> 00:15:24,656 Sounds like judgement. 301 00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,323 - I told Aidan. - Carrie! 302 00:15:30,781 --> 00:15:32,990 - I had to. - He's gonna tell Steve. 303 00:15:33,073 --> 00:15:35,281 He will not. I made him swear on Chanel. 304 00:15:35,365 --> 00:15:37,615 Well, as long as he took the oath of fabric. 305 00:15:37,698 --> 00:15:41,115 He seemed to have pretty strong opinions about the guy having a right to know. 306 00:15:41,198 --> 00:15:44,615 You know, I didn't think this could get any worse but, ha-ha, it has. 307 00:15:45,198 --> 00:15:47,323 Now I'm supposed to think about what I'm doing to Steve? 308 00:15:47,406 --> 00:15:49,198 - Well, wouldn't you want to know? - No! 309 00:15:49,781 --> 00:15:51,531 I don't even want to know, and it's me. 310 00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:56,198 Did you tell the guy from TGI Friday's? 311 00:15:56,865 --> 00:15:58,948 Jesus, it was the Saloon. 312 00:15:59,031 --> 00:16:01,073 - And no, I didn't. - Hmm. 313 00:16:01,156 --> 00:16:04,573 It was completely different. I was 22. We barely knew each other. 314 00:16:04,656 --> 00:16:08,323 We slept together once, after a drunken night at the Tunnel. 315 00:16:08,406 --> 00:16:09,448 The Tunnel? 316 00:16:10,073 --> 00:16:11,073 No judgement. 317 00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:13,698 I was thinking maybe I should've told him. 318 00:16:13,781 --> 00:16:16,531 There's no way I'm telling Steve. He'd want me to have it. 319 00:16:20,573 --> 00:16:22,698 You know what? You're right. 320 00:16:23,198 --> 00:16:25,656 Forget my life. I'm having Steve's baby. 321 00:16:26,198 --> 00:16:27,615 Pizza for everybody! 322 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,615 Well, everything looks just fine. 323 00:16:35,156 --> 00:16:36,156 Looks good. 324 00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:40,573 Ooh. Nope. Sorry, spoke too soon. 325 00:16:40,656 --> 00:16:41,656 What is it? 326 00:16:41,698 --> 00:16:44,031 Your blood and mucus tests show 327 00:16:44,115 --> 00:16:46,740 extremely elevated anti-sperm antibodies. 328 00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:48,073 Is that bad? 329 00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:50,781 It just means it's gonna be that much more difficult for you 330 00:16:50,865 --> 00:16:51,948 to conceive naturally. 331 00:16:52,031 --> 00:16:53,323 How much more difficult? 332 00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:55,448 I'd give it a 15% shot. 333 00:16:57,198 --> 00:17:01,948 I would not suggest you wait much longer before you explore in vitro. 334 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:07,198 After they learned about their detour on the road to Baby, 335 00:17:07,281 --> 00:17:12,115 Trey had to go back to the hospital, and Charlotte decided to walk home. 336 00:17:14,365 --> 00:17:16,615 Charlotte? Charlotte? 337 00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:18,656 Oh, hi. 338 00:17:19,281 --> 00:17:20,281 "Oh, hi"? 339 00:17:20,781 --> 00:17:23,281 - Are you kidding me? - What do you mean? 340 00:17:23,365 --> 00:17:25,823 You saw me, turned, and walked the other way. 341 00:17:25,906 --> 00:17:28,073 I didn't see you, I just changed direction. 342 00:17:28,156 --> 00:17:29,615 I'm allowed to change direction. 343 00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:30,906 First you don't return my calls, 344 00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:33,115 and then you pretend not to see me on the street? 345 00:17:33,906 --> 00:17:36,781 I just… I really can't see you right now. 346 00:17:36,865 --> 00:17:39,781 Well, you have to see me because I'm standing right here. 347 00:17:39,865 --> 00:17:43,656 I'm sorry about this whole thing, but it's not a personal attack on you. 348 00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:45,031 It was a mistake. 349 00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:47,406 Miranda, I really don't want to talk about this. 350 00:17:47,490 --> 00:17:49,531 This is hard for me too, you know? 351 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,906 And it doesn't make it any easier worrying that you hate me 352 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:54,865 because you think you can't get pregnant. 353 00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,281 I can't get pregnant. 354 00:17:57,573 --> 00:17:58,698 If I can, you can. 355 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:01,073 No, I can't. 356 00:18:02,323 --> 00:18:05,115 I just came from the doctor. Here. 357 00:18:06,198 --> 00:18:08,365 My body is attacking Trey's sperm. 358 00:18:08,448 --> 00:18:12,323 15% chance. 15% chance of ever having a baby. 359 00:18:16,115 --> 00:18:18,781 - Is it okay if I go now? - Sure. 360 00:18:20,406 --> 00:18:22,031 - You want me to walk with you? - No. 361 00:18:22,490 --> 00:18:25,198 - I just want to be alone, okay? - Okay. 362 00:18:25,781 --> 00:18:28,156 But I'm just gonna walk a little way behind you 363 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,240 in case you change your mind and want to talk. 364 00:18:30,323 --> 00:18:31,406 No, I'm okay. 365 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,406 Charlotte walked all the way home. 366 00:18:39,031 --> 00:18:40,865 And even though she never turned back, 367 00:18:41,948 --> 00:18:44,115 she knew Miranda was behind her. 368 00:18:49,781 --> 00:18:50,823 It's Lucy Liu. 369 00:18:53,156 --> 00:18:54,156 Hi. 370 00:18:54,906 --> 00:18:55,990 Sorry I'm late. 371 00:18:56,073 --> 00:18:58,656 Oh, don't worry about it. 372 00:18:58,740 --> 00:18:59,948 Look what I got. 373 00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:03,073 Some nice man dropped it off at my hotel this morning. 374 00:19:03,156 --> 00:19:05,406 - Hermès, it's a… - Birkin. 375 00:19:06,573 --> 00:19:08,906 Well, it's not really my style, but, hey, it's a free bag. 376 00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:13,448 It's not exactly free. See, I paid for it. That's my bag. 377 00:19:13,865 --> 00:19:16,323 - What do you mean? - There was a five-year waiting list. 378 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,490 Blah, blah, blah, I used your name. 379 00:19:19,031 --> 00:19:20,031 "Blah, blah, blah"? 380 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,990 Cutting to the chase, yes. 381 00:19:24,823 --> 00:19:26,906 As long as we're cutting to the chase, 382 00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:28,698 the PR rep from Hermès called 383 00:19:28,781 --> 00:19:31,781 and told me my rep yelled "fuck" at her at least 12 times. 384 00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:34,198 Is that your idea of class? 385 00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:37,698 That is absurd. I have never used the F-word. 386 00:19:37,781 --> 00:19:39,198 Who the fuck are you kidding? 387 00:19:39,281 --> 00:19:41,448 Yes, I called to check on the bag. 388 00:19:41,990 --> 00:19:46,240 Oh, you know what? I was on my cell. 389 00:19:46,323 --> 00:19:48,073 Maybe she picked up some crazy person. 390 00:19:48,823 --> 00:19:53,490 One time, I got this scary woman screaming from somewhere in New Jersey. 391 00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:59,490 The only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar. 392 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,615 I won't be needing your services anymore. 393 00:20:02,198 --> 00:20:03,948 I am telling you the truth. 394 00:20:05,365 --> 00:20:06,990 If I was as bad an actress as you, 395 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:09,531 I'd still be serving onion rings at TGI Friday's. 396 00:20:11,573 --> 00:20:13,323 That's my fucking Birkin! 397 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:17,448 And there went Lucy Liu, all 'cause of a Lucy lie. 398 00:20:18,073 --> 00:20:20,573 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 399 00:20:25,073 --> 00:20:29,198 Meanwhile, I found myself back at a familiar crossroads, 400 00:20:29,281 --> 00:20:33,073 the corner of Columbus and 1988. 401 00:20:34,948 --> 00:20:37,698 It was amazing. It hadn't changed at all. 402 00:20:38,281 --> 00:20:40,823 Same table, same menu. 403 00:20:42,781 --> 00:20:43,906 Same waiter. 404 00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,823 Burger, medium well. Calamari. 405 00:20:48,323 --> 00:20:49,740 I couldn't believe it. 406 00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:53,656 His roller skates were gone and his Tony Danza Taxi hair was thinner 407 00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:56,323 - but it was definitely Chad. - All right, enjoy. 408 00:20:58,698 --> 00:21:00,490 "Drunken-Night-at-Tunnel" Chad. 409 00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:02,615 You ready to order? 410 00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:05,490 Hello there. 411 00:21:05,948 --> 00:21:08,531 Our soups of the day are lentil and tortilla. 412 00:21:09,031 --> 00:21:11,365 - Did anyone get your drink order? - Chad? 413 00:21:12,406 --> 00:21:14,615 - Yeah? - It's me, Carrie. 414 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,240 Bradshaw. 415 00:21:18,865 --> 00:21:21,031 We met like 13 years ago. 416 00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:24,365 I came in a few times, half lemonade, half iced tea? 417 00:21:27,490 --> 00:21:30,448 And then there was that, uh, 418 00:21:31,198 --> 00:21:32,573 night at The Tunnel. 419 00:21:32,656 --> 00:21:33,656 Tunnel? 420 00:21:35,448 --> 00:21:37,490 I never went to Tunnel. 421 00:21:37,573 --> 00:21:39,531 Yeah, you went to Tunnel. 422 00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:42,365 Jeez, Sherry, I'm sorry, I don't remember. 423 00:21:42,448 --> 00:21:44,948 - It's Carrie. - Right. Carrie. 424 00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:49,073 Um… 425 00:21:49,698 --> 00:21:54,073 Uh, I'll take the lentil soup, I guess, and some crackers. 426 00:21:54,656 --> 00:21:55,906 Crackers come with. 427 00:21:58,198 --> 00:21:59,198 Hey. 428 00:22:01,448 --> 00:22:03,365 Was I at least smart enough to try something? 429 00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:06,198 No. 430 00:22:07,115 --> 00:22:08,573 You were the perfect gentleman. 431 00:22:11,490 --> 00:22:14,698 I stayed in 1988 just long enough to realize 432 00:22:14,781 --> 00:22:16,448 I had made the right decision. 433 00:22:17,115 --> 00:22:19,698 Even though I was sitting in the same seat, 434 00:22:19,781 --> 00:22:22,156 I was in a totally different place. 435 00:22:31,823 --> 00:22:36,698 Do you suffer from headaches? Allergies? Diabetes? 436 00:22:36,781 --> 00:22:38,406 No, no, no. 437 00:22:39,323 --> 00:22:41,365 Bad judgement with old boyfriends? Yes. 438 00:22:42,031 --> 00:22:43,490 I think I can write that in. 439 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:49,240 Does it hurt? 440 00:22:51,115 --> 00:22:52,115 Not really. 441 00:22:53,781 --> 00:22:55,656 Mostly it's just unpleasant. 442 00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:56,740 Mmm. 443 00:22:57,531 --> 00:22:58,656 What about after? 444 00:22:59,448 --> 00:23:01,323 How long until I feel back to normal? 445 00:23:01,906 --> 00:23:03,115 You're gonna have to ask them. 446 00:23:03,198 --> 00:23:05,115 How long until you felt back to normal? 447 00:23:05,990 --> 00:23:07,073 Any day now. 448 00:23:13,531 --> 00:23:14,615 I'm doing the right thing. 449 00:23:16,198 --> 00:23:18,781 - Right? - Miranda, I cannot answer that. 450 00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:20,615 - What do you think? - What do you think? 451 00:23:20,698 --> 00:23:22,740 - I think, what do you think? - You wanna go one more round? 452 00:23:24,031 --> 00:23:27,073 Charlotte only has a 15% chance. She's really trying. 453 00:23:27,823 --> 00:23:32,531 What if I wake up at 43, and find that my one semi-decent ovary gave up 454 00:23:32,615 --> 00:23:33,656 and I can't have kids? 455 00:23:34,115 --> 00:23:36,531 - Forty-three? - That's my scary age. 456 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,406 Mine's 45. 457 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:45,531 This happened against all the odds. 458 00:23:46,531 --> 00:23:50,448 My stupid egg found its way to the three sperm he had left. 459 00:23:52,406 --> 00:23:53,948 Oh, God, Carrie. 460 00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:58,073 Is this my baby? 461 00:23:59,865 --> 00:24:01,406 I mean, what am I waiting for? 462 00:24:01,490 --> 00:24:03,823 Sweetie, do you want to leave? 463 00:24:03,906 --> 00:24:04,906 No. 464 00:24:06,573 --> 00:24:08,031 I can't have a baby. 465 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,073 I could barely find the time to schedule this abortion. 466 00:24:12,156 --> 00:24:13,948 Miranda Hobbes? 467 00:24:25,448 --> 00:24:26,448 Motherfucker. 468 00:24:39,448 --> 00:24:40,615 Take it easy. 469 00:24:40,698 --> 00:24:42,698 Sip slowly. 470 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:44,156 I'm okay. 471 00:24:45,365 --> 00:24:47,323 A little pillow here. 472 00:24:47,948 --> 00:24:49,031 I got it. 473 00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:51,656 - Hi. - Hi. 474 00:24:54,865 --> 00:24:55,865 Hi. 475 00:24:57,198 --> 00:24:58,615 I thought some flowers might do 476 00:24:58,698 --> 00:25:01,573 whatever it is flowers are supposed to do in a situation like this. 477 00:25:02,906 --> 00:25:05,448 Yeah, I felt the same way about Entenmann's lemon strudel. 478 00:25:08,823 --> 00:25:11,531 - How are you feeling? - Pretty freaked out. 479 00:25:14,031 --> 00:25:15,323 Charlotte, I didn't do it. 480 00:25:17,031 --> 00:25:18,281 I'm keeping the baby. 481 00:25:21,740 --> 00:25:22,781 Oh, my God. 482 00:25:31,865 --> 00:25:33,573 We're having a baby? 483 00:25:38,906 --> 00:25:41,406 And with those four little words, 484 00:25:41,490 --> 00:25:42,990 three aunts were born. 485 00:25:45,615 --> 00:25:46,656 As for me, 486 00:25:46,740 --> 00:25:50,240 I should've left Miranda's earlier, so I would've been on time. 487 00:25:55,365 --> 00:25:57,448 Ten minutes late. That's the charm of me. 488 00:25:57,948 --> 00:26:00,365 I'm starved. They wouldn't seat me till my party was here. 489 00:26:00,781 --> 00:26:01,906 I'm your party, huh? 490 00:26:02,740 --> 00:26:04,406 - Excuse me. - Hi. 491 00:26:04,531 --> 00:26:05,531 Here she is. 492 00:26:06,031 --> 00:26:08,323 We let the table go. It'll be a bit of a wait. 493 00:26:11,406 --> 00:26:13,073 We can go someplace else. 494 00:26:13,156 --> 00:26:15,490 - And wait there? - Okay. 495 00:26:15,573 --> 00:26:16,573 We'll be at the bar. 496 00:26:16,656 --> 00:26:18,823 Fine, I'll put your name on the list for the bar. 497 00:26:18,906 --> 00:26:20,990 Wait. There's a wait to wait? 498 00:26:21,906 --> 00:26:23,448 We'll be outside. 499 00:26:24,198 --> 00:26:25,198 Don't forget us. 500 00:26:27,115 --> 00:26:28,406 Excuse me. Sorry. 501 00:26:32,865 --> 00:26:33,865 How's that beer? 502 00:26:34,948 --> 00:26:35,948 That's classy. 503 00:26:36,656 --> 00:26:37,656 And no waiting. 504 00:26:41,323 --> 00:26:42,656 Nice. 505 00:26:47,156 --> 00:26:48,156 I lied to you. 506 00:26:49,656 --> 00:26:51,115 I did have an abortion. 507 00:26:53,323 --> 00:26:54,948 The condom broke. 508 00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:58,365 Okay, that's another lie. There was no condom. 509 00:26:58,448 --> 00:27:01,323 - What's with all the lying? - I'm afraid you're gonna judge me. 510 00:27:01,990 --> 00:27:05,823 For being 18 and sleeping with a guy without a condom 511 00:27:05,906 --> 00:27:07,781 and getting pregnant and never telling him. 512 00:27:08,448 --> 00:27:10,240 There, that's the whole truth. 513 00:27:12,531 --> 00:27:14,031 Except that I was twenty… 514 00:27:15,448 --> 00:27:16,448 two. 515 00:27:17,323 --> 00:27:18,448 Twenty-two. 516 00:27:18,531 --> 00:27:19,865 I should've known better. 517 00:27:20,698 --> 00:27:23,406 - Is your name really Carrie? - Yes. 518 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,490 So are you judging me? 519 00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:30,115 Hey. 520 00:27:30,198 --> 00:27:31,573 I was no angel. 521 00:27:32,073 --> 00:27:33,906 Why? Did you ever get a girl pregnant? 522 00:27:34,823 --> 00:27:35,823 No. 523 00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:37,990 Not that I know of. 524 00:27:39,865 --> 00:27:43,240 God damn, it must be nice to be a guy sometimes. 525 00:27:51,781 --> 00:27:53,281 So, am I still your girl? 526 00:27:54,656 --> 00:27:55,656 Oh, yeah. 527 00:28:00,281 --> 00:28:01,490 Your table is ready. 528 00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:03,448 Be right there. 529 00:28:10,948 --> 00:28:12,323 Oh, and another thing. 530 00:28:12,906 --> 00:28:14,156 Miranda's keeping the baby. 531 00:28:14,823 --> 00:28:16,531 Don't tell Steve. 532 00:28:17,615 --> 00:28:18,823 It's not our business. 533 00:28:24,573 --> 00:28:28,198 They say life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. 534 00:28:29,740 --> 00:28:31,531 But sometimes in New York, 535 00:28:32,365 --> 00:28:35,656 life is what happens when you're waiting for a table.