1 00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:52,033 A girl in pigtails once said, "There's no place like home." 2 00:00:55,491 --> 00:00:58,616 But then her home didn't have a toilet that flushed for no reason. 3 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,658 And a boyfriend who was moving out for one big reason. 4 00:01:11,116 --> 00:01:12,366 That's the last of it. 5 00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:18,366 Okay. 6 00:01:21,158 --> 00:01:22,325 You want me to fix that? 7 00:01:22,408 --> 00:01:25,158 No, it's okay. I can get someone to come and fix it. 8 00:01:28,075 --> 00:01:29,658 Just let me get in there for a sec. 9 00:01:36,408 --> 00:01:37,908 - Hold the ball cock. - Huh? 10 00:01:38,575 --> 00:01:40,325 - This thing right here. - Oh. 11 00:01:41,408 --> 00:01:42,491 Yeah, right there. 12 00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:48,241 That should do it. 13 00:01:51,908 --> 00:01:52,908 I should go. 14 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,325 You can't leave. 15 00:01:59,825 --> 00:02:02,491 Our last words to each other can't be "ball cock." 16 00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:06,700 You should definitely stay. 17 00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:10,325 At least for another day. 18 00:02:11,825 --> 00:02:12,991 Or forever. 19 00:02:13,616 --> 00:02:15,075 We've been through this. 20 00:02:17,450 --> 00:02:18,450 I can't. 21 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,075 Are you sure? 22 00:02:24,783 --> 00:02:25,825 I am. 23 00:02:28,866 --> 00:02:29,950 Aidan, um… 24 00:02:34,991 --> 00:02:36,658 This is difficult to say. 25 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,241 Um… 26 00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:43,491 I left the ring on the clown table. 27 00:02:44,741 --> 00:02:46,825 - That's yours. - No, no, no. 28 00:02:46,908 --> 00:02:50,033 I should never have accepted it in the first place. I'm sorry. 29 00:02:51,283 --> 00:02:53,783 - Please take the ring. - I want you to have it. 30 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,741 Please, take it. 31 00:02:56,575 --> 00:02:57,866 If you do or say… 32 00:03:00,825 --> 00:03:02,075 one more nice thing… 33 00:03:07,991 --> 00:03:09,283 Okay, I gotta go. 34 00:03:09,366 --> 00:03:11,908 All right, I can't watch you leave, so I think I'm just gonna… 35 00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,950 I'm better… I'm gonna stand here. Could you just… 36 00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:18,366 Could you just, um, shut the door? 37 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,700 - Carrie. - I know. 38 00:03:22,491 --> 00:03:23,491 Go. 39 00:03:42,033 --> 00:03:45,950 Three hours later, I peeled myself off the bathroom floor. 40 00:03:56,158 --> 00:03:59,741 Apparently there were things that were difficult for Aidan to say as well. 41 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:12,283 I curled up to read Aidan's last words to me, 42 00:04:12,866 --> 00:04:14,741 also known as the good-bye letter. 43 00:04:26,658 --> 00:04:29,491 - Aidan's evicting her? - He's not evicting her. 44 00:04:29,575 --> 00:04:31,991 He giving her 30 days to decide what she wants to do. 45 00:04:32,075 --> 00:04:35,325 - Well, that's just tacky. - Look, life gets complicated. 46 00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:38,491 Steve and I are drawing up papers to timeshare our kid. 47 00:04:38,575 --> 00:04:42,075 Great love stories are supposed to end with tragedy and tears, 48 00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:44,866 not papers from the law firm of Gold and Vogel. 49 00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:46,533 This is more than fair. 50 00:04:46,616 --> 00:04:50,158 He's asking you to buy your apartment for the exact price he paid, 51 00:04:50,241 --> 00:04:51,866 or you can vacate and he'll sell it. 52 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:52,950 Vacate? 53 00:04:53,658 --> 00:04:54,825 I'm homeless. 54 00:04:54,908 --> 00:04:57,200 I'll be a bag lady. A Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady. 55 00:04:57,283 --> 00:04:59,116 Maybe you should think about buying your place. 56 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,325 No, I am not a buyer. 57 00:05:00,408 --> 00:05:02,366 New York is a town of renters. Everybody rents. 58 00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:03,866 - I don't. - I don't. 59 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:06,325 - I don't. - You got yours in the settlement. 60 00:05:06,408 --> 00:05:08,116 You did not have to pay for your apartment. 61 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,825 Oh, I paid for that apartment. 62 00:05:13,616 --> 00:05:15,741 I'm pregnant. I can't control it. 63 00:05:15,825 --> 00:05:19,491 Well, honey, you better learn, because that is unappetizing. 64 00:05:19,575 --> 00:05:23,075 I know. I am so swollen and gassy. 65 00:05:23,158 --> 00:05:24,741 I'm like a flotation device. 66 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:28,033 I'll get this one. And I don't want a fight out of you. 67 00:05:28,116 --> 00:05:29,700 Save it for your down payment. 68 00:05:31,158 --> 00:05:34,991 Oh! Excuse me. You bought the Chanel wallet? 69 00:05:35,075 --> 00:05:37,408 Oh, no, Richard gave it to me as a gift. 70 00:05:37,491 --> 00:05:39,825 - Nice. What was the occasion? - No occasion. 71 00:05:39,908 --> 00:05:41,991 - He is in love with you. - He's not in love with me. 72 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,783 - You don't know that. - Yes, I do. 73 00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,033 Take a look at the card. 74 00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:50,700 "Style for style. Best, Richard." 75 00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:53,283 - "Best." Yikes. - "Best" is the worst. 76 00:05:53,366 --> 00:05:55,741 Yeah, even Gold and Vogel give you "sincerely." 77 00:05:55,825 --> 00:05:57,283 "Best" is like signing "Not love." 78 00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:58,616 It's the thought that counts. 79 00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,950 He bought you something he knew you'd love. 80 00:06:01,033 --> 00:06:03,283 He's a pretty generous guy, with money. 81 00:06:03,366 --> 00:06:04,616 Aidan wanted me to keep the ring. 82 00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:06,991 You did, didn't you? 83 00:06:08,616 --> 00:06:10,450 Oh, honey, you're a fool. 84 00:06:10,533 --> 00:06:13,450 No. It was the right thing to do. 85 00:06:14,825 --> 00:06:16,241 Do you ever think about giving yours back? 86 00:06:16,325 --> 00:06:18,033 No, I love that ring. 87 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,408 I couldn't keep it. 88 00:06:20,325 --> 00:06:22,533 Every time I looked at it, it would break my heart. 89 00:06:27,158 --> 00:06:28,533 This ring is worth a lot. 90 00:06:28,616 --> 00:06:31,575 Tiffany, 2.17 carats, platinum setting. 91 00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:34,241 Beautiful cut, very few inclusions. 92 00:06:34,325 --> 00:06:36,283 So, what do you want to do with it? 93 00:06:36,366 --> 00:06:39,408 I was thinking maybe I'd turn it into a necklace. 94 00:06:39,491 --> 00:06:43,700 A floating diamond necklace would be to die. Very now. 95 00:06:43,783 --> 00:06:45,658 So, a lot of people do this. 96 00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:47,658 These were my baguettes. 97 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,491 Because it turned out my husband was a faggot, 98 00:06:50,575 --> 00:06:52,991 now they're earrings. But he had good taste. 99 00:06:53,783 --> 00:06:55,825 So a necklace? 100 00:06:56,366 --> 00:06:57,491 I'm not sure. 101 00:06:57,575 --> 00:06:58,560 Maybe a pendant. 102 00:06:58,575 --> 00:07:02,033 We can melt down the platinum setting and turn it into spectacular earrings. 103 00:07:02,491 --> 00:07:04,075 Melt? Melt it down? 104 00:07:05,575 --> 00:07:08,075 There, in the wedding band boneyard, 105 00:07:08,158 --> 00:07:09,866 Charlotte started to melt down. 106 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:11,158 I don't think I'm ready for this. 107 00:07:12,575 --> 00:07:15,200 Just don't take it to the gypsies next door. 108 00:07:19,491 --> 00:07:20,825 Okay. 109 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:24,075 Let's look at your assets here at the bank. 110 00:07:24,158 --> 00:07:25,658 We may be able to use them 111 00:07:25,741 --> 00:07:27,241 as collateral for the loan. 112 00:07:27,325 --> 00:07:28,825 Linda, Line 1. 113 00:07:28,908 --> 00:07:33,533 Okay, it says here that you have $700 in your checking account. 114 00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:35,200 I just paid my credit card bill. 115 00:07:36,241 --> 00:07:40,491 And $957 in savings. 116 00:07:42,908 --> 00:07:44,741 Look, Linda. 117 00:07:45,741 --> 00:07:46,866 You're single, right? 118 00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:49,700 So I'm sure that you can appreciate my problem. 119 00:07:50,241 --> 00:07:54,866 I just broke up with my fiancé, which, trust me, is traumatic enough… 120 00:07:54,950 --> 00:07:56,658 Linda, Line 2. 121 00:07:56,741 --> 00:08:02,658 And now I have 25 days to either find the money to buy my place 122 00:08:02,741 --> 00:08:04,241 or I am out on the street. 123 00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:09,575 Do you have any other income, besides the column? 124 00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:10,908 No. 125 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:14,908 But I was chosen as New York Magazine's best pick for city columnist. 126 00:08:15,366 --> 00:08:17,200 I was the pick over Pete Hamill. 127 00:08:17,283 --> 00:08:19,533 What about your assets outside the bank? 128 00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:23,741 - Property, stocks, bonds? - No, no, no. 129 00:08:24,283 --> 00:08:27,033 I'm sorry, Ms. Bradshaw, 130 00:08:27,533 --> 00:08:32,491 but you are not a desirable candidate for a loan. 131 00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:40,366 After assessing what little assets I had, 132 00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:43,658 I realized I would have to change my lifestyle. 133 00:08:43,741 --> 00:08:46,616 Excuse me, could you tell me how much the bus is? 134 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:47,700 $1.50. 135 00:08:48,325 --> 00:08:49,325 Really? 136 00:08:50,075 --> 00:08:53,116 Wow, last time I took the bus, it was like 75 cents. 137 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,533 You know, for 3 more bucks, you could take a cab. 138 00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:03,075 For crying out loud. 139 00:09:03,991 --> 00:09:06,700 Why do you have to take the bus if you're on the bus? 140 00:09:08,075 --> 00:09:09,741 My thoughts exactly. 141 00:09:10,991 --> 00:09:13,991 So here I was, a 35-year-old single woman 142 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:17,700 with no financial security, but many life experiences behind me. 143 00:09:17,783 --> 00:09:19,908 Did that mean nothing? 144 00:09:19,991 --> 00:09:24,033 After all, heartbreak and breakups are the hardest kind of work. 145 00:09:24,116 --> 00:09:27,241 So shouldn't there be some sort of credit for enduring them? 146 00:09:27,325 --> 00:09:30,325 And if not, how do you retain a sense of value 147 00:09:30,408 --> 00:09:33,033 when you have nothing concrete to show for it? 148 00:09:33,116 --> 00:09:37,658 Because at the end of yet another failed relationship, 149 00:09:37,741 --> 00:09:41,116 when all you have are war wounds and self-doubt, 150 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,408 you have to wonder, what's it all worth? 151 00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:49,700 Let me just say again, I love your gallery, 152 00:09:49,783 --> 00:09:53,116 so if there are ever any openings, you have my résumé. 153 00:09:53,741 --> 00:09:56,908 Meanwhile, a woman with far fewer financial worries 154 00:09:56,991 --> 00:09:59,491 was also contemplating her worth. 155 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,491 Charlotte knew the ring didn't mean as much, 156 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,450 now that she was no longer with Trey. 157 00:10:20,658 --> 00:10:23,241 But on that particularly low Thursday, 158 00:10:24,616 --> 00:10:27,450 she put on her 2.17-carat diamond 159 00:10:27,908 --> 00:10:32,075 and wandered around her 2.17-carat Park Avenue apartment. 160 00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:43,616 That night, at Richard's… 161 00:10:44,533 --> 00:10:47,408 Another gift. Are you trying to spoil me? 162 00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:48,491 That's the plan. 163 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:52,366 - Oh, La Petite Coquette, my favorite. - I know. I pay attention. 164 00:10:52,450 --> 00:10:54,366 Wait a minute. There's a card. 165 00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:55,533 Oh. 166 00:10:56,283 --> 00:10:57,283 The card. 167 00:10:59,741 --> 00:11:02,533 "Sexy for sexy. Best, Richard." 168 00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:06,241 Why don't you slip into that while I pour us some Cristal? 169 00:11:06,325 --> 00:11:07,950 I'll do my very best. 170 00:11:09,116 --> 00:11:10,241 Oh… 171 00:11:10,325 --> 00:11:13,908 Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. 172 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,783 Oh, this is torture. 173 00:11:16,866 --> 00:11:19,450 Why are you doing this to me? I can't buy shoes. 174 00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:22,200 Well, I have to buy shoes. None of my old ones fit. 175 00:11:22,283 --> 00:11:23,658 Even my feet are fat. 176 00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:26,700 - These are pretty. - I'm looking for comfortable. 177 00:11:26,783 --> 00:11:28,200 Then I'll try these for you. 178 00:11:28,616 --> 00:11:29,783 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes? 179 00:11:29,866 --> 00:11:31,950 Could I try these, please, in a seven-and-a-half? 180 00:11:32,033 --> 00:11:33,116 - Sure. - Oh. 181 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,116 Um, and these, and… 182 00:11:36,408 --> 00:11:38,616 And, well, I guess, just all of these. 183 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:42,241 But, sir, no matter what happens in the next 20 minutes, 184 00:11:42,325 --> 00:11:45,366 under no circumstances am I to buy these. 185 00:11:45,450 --> 00:11:46,783 I'm just trying them on for fun. 186 00:11:46,866 --> 00:11:48,491 How fun for me. 187 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,075 Could I try these in a nine? 188 00:11:52,158 --> 00:11:53,283 - Sure. - Thanks. 189 00:11:57,575 --> 00:12:00,158 - What is that smell? - Sorry. 190 00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:03,533 I've learned to control the sound now, but not the activity. 191 00:12:03,616 --> 00:12:05,533 That's just mean. 192 00:12:06,283 --> 00:12:07,283 Damn! 193 00:12:07,825 --> 00:12:09,991 How are people gonna know to scatter without a warning? 194 00:12:10,075 --> 00:12:13,575 Although, maybe it's not that I control the noise 195 00:12:13,658 --> 00:12:17,241 as much as my ass is so big the sound is now muffled. 196 00:12:17,825 --> 00:12:18,866 Look at my fingers. 197 00:12:18,950 --> 00:12:21,366 They're like sausages. I can't even get my ring off. 198 00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:25,491 I'm telling you, the fat ass, the farting, it's ridiculous. 199 00:12:25,575 --> 00:12:26,866 I am unfuckable. 200 00:12:27,408 --> 00:12:30,450 And I have never been so horny in my entire life. 201 00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:31,950 - Really? - Yeah. 202 00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:35,033 That's why you're supposed to be married when you're pregnant, 203 00:12:35,116 --> 00:12:37,533 so somebody is obligated to have sex with you. 204 00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:42,575 - I'm an undesirable. - No, I am. 205 00:12:43,783 --> 00:12:47,616 The lady at the bank said I was an unattractive candidate for a loan. 206 00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:50,825 Where did all my money go? I know I made some. 207 00:12:51,616 --> 00:12:56,616 Uh, at $400 a pop, how many of these do you have? Fifty? 208 00:12:57,533 --> 00:12:58,533 Come on. 209 00:12:58,616 --> 00:12:59,616 A hundred? 210 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,825 Would that be wrong? 211 00:13:01,908 --> 00:13:04,325 100 times 400, there's your down payment. 212 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,075 Well, that's only $4,000. 213 00:13:06,908 --> 00:13:08,366 No, it's $40,000. 214 00:13:10,575 --> 00:13:14,866 I spent $40,000 on shoes 215 00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:16,700 and I have no place to live? 216 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:22,491 I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes. 217 00:13:27,408 --> 00:13:28,950 I pulled my own finger. 218 00:13:29,491 --> 00:13:31,283 I'm a walking whoopee cushion. 219 00:13:33,075 --> 00:13:35,950 When a girl gets backed up against the wall she can't afford, 220 00:13:36,033 --> 00:13:37,783 she has to consider renting others. 221 00:13:39,408 --> 00:13:40,533 That's the closet? 222 00:13:41,658 --> 00:13:43,033 Where do the shoes go? 223 00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:45,616 You get one of those racks that hang on the door. 224 00:13:46,908 --> 00:13:49,408 I'll hang myself on a door if I have to live here. 225 00:13:52,658 --> 00:13:53,658 Do… 226 00:13:54,116 --> 00:13:55,283 Do I smell curry? 227 00:13:55,866 --> 00:13:57,783 There's an Indian restaurant downstairs. 228 00:13:59,575 --> 00:14:01,450 Delia, I ask you, 229 00:14:01,991 --> 00:14:06,075 how can this apartment be $2,800 a month? 230 00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:08,741 I pay $750 for something that's twice the size, 231 00:14:08,825 --> 00:14:10,241 and it don't smell like takeout. 232 00:14:10,325 --> 00:14:13,658 You have a rent-controlled apartment, I suggest you stay there. 233 00:14:13,741 --> 00:14:17,325 Well, unfortunately, that's really not an option. 234 00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:21,075 What other shitholes are you showing me today? 235 00:14:21,866 --> 00:14:25,450 I have to be honest. With your attitude and price limitations, 236 00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,991 I think you should consider Weehawken. 237 00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:31,658 Uh, get back to me when the numbers are in. 238 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,658 Well, look at you, all dressed up. Applying for a job here? 239 00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:40,075 So this is where you work. 240 00:14:40,908 --> 00:14:43,908 It's cute. It's smaller than I expected. 241 00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:48,950 I always imagined rows and rows of blondes in tight sweaters, typing. 242 00:14:49,033 --> 00:14:50,200 Oh, they're at lunch. 243 00:14:51,741 --> 00:14:55,075 - I am here in an official capacity. - Oh. 244 00:14:55,533 --> 00:14:56,991 Aren't you gonna ask me to sit down? 245 00:14:57,075 --> 00:14:58,741 By all means. Pick a chair. 246 00:14:59,908 --> 00:15:02,200 Faced with the prospect of Weehawken, 247 00:15:02,283 --> 00:15:05,158 I decided it was time to call in the big guns. 248 00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:08,950 Now, what can I do for you? 249 00:15:09,866 --> 00:15:13,741 I once read that you took something like $3 million and leveraged it 250 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:16,616 to build a $100 million building. How did you do that? 251 00:15:17,825 --> 00:15:18,866 What's going on? 252 00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:22,158 I want to buy my apartment but I have no money. 253 00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:27,491 I'm worth nothing. 254 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,950 You're worth a million bucks, Bradshaw. 255 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,283 Well, maybe you should go work at a bank. 256 00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:39,200 Aidan and I broke up. 257 00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:44,366 So it's not just money troubles. 258 00:15:46,950 --> 00:15:48,450 Why didn't you call me? 259 00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:49,908 I got enough troubles. 260 00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:53,741 What happened? 261 00:15:54,741 --> 00:15:57,033 Apparently you were right, I am not the marrying kind. 262 00:15:57,491 --> 00:15:58,950 Or the timing wasn't right. 263 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,366 You're gonna be okay, kid. 264 00:16:04,491 --> 00:16:07,991 So, I need money. You know money. 265 00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:11,241 I need to know what you know about money. 266 00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:12,825 Simple. 267 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,491 I'll tell you how to get the money. 268 00:16:17,533 --> 00:16:19,491 Big offered me the money for my down payment. 269 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,658 But I could never take it. 270 00:16:25,616 --> 00:16:27,575 - Could I? - No, you couldn't. 271 00:16:27,658 --> 00:16:30,200 He just gave you $30,000? 272 00:16:30,283 --> 00:16:32,075 As a loan. I would pay him back. 273 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,533 Take the money. 274 00:16:33,616 --> 00:16:36,075 When a man gives you money, you give him control. 275 00:16:36,158 --> 00:16:39,741 It's just money. Man, woman, who cares? It's fluid. 276 00:16:39,825 --> 00:16:42,783 Someone needs it, you give it. You need it, you take it. 277 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,866 I'm uncomfortable with this conversation. 278 00:16:44,950 --> 00:16:46,366 We shouldn't be talking about money. 279 00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:48,158 Why not? We talk about everything else. 280 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,241 People are funny about money. 281 00:16:50,325 --> 00:16:53,325 Like Richard, he's happy to buy me gifts, but… 282 00:16:53,408 --> 00:16:54,741 Still no "love"? 283 00:16:54,825 --> 00:16:58,575 No, but he continues to send his best. 284 00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:02,450 Don't cash Big's cheque. I'll loan you the money. 285 00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:04,991 You're about to have a baby. I can't take your money. 286 00:17:05,450 --> 00:17:07,575 And furthermore, do you have that much? 287 00:17:07,658 --> 00:17:08,950 I have about half that. 288 00:17:09,908 --> 00:17:11,533 What? Does no one else shoe shop? 289 00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:12,950 I could loan you the rest. 290 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:20,533 Look, that is really, really sweet of you two to offer. 291 00:17:24,533 --> 00:17:27,866 It's really, really sweet, but I'm gonna do this on my own. 292 00:17:33,241 --> 00:17:35,866 So I can't tape it back. 293 00:17:36,866 --> 00:17:39,283 - I have news. - Ooh? 294 00:17:39,366 --> 00:17:42,950 Looks like I've gotten a job as a docent at the Museum of Modern Art. 295 00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:45,450 - Mmm. - What does that pay? I can docent. 296 00:17:45,533 --> 00:17:49,575 Oh, it's a volunteer job, but they're very coveted positions. 297 00:17:49,908 --> 00:17:51,116 Oh. 298 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,241 You come back. 299 00:18:00,616 --> 00:18:01,866 I have no fortune. 300 00:18:02,408 --> 00:18:04,325 I didn't need a cookie to tell me that. 301 00:18:06,616 --> 00:18:08,825 You know, these fans only cost a dollar. 302 00:18:08,908 --> 00:18:11,283 I'm gonna save a lot of money on air conditioning. 303 00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:16,700 You okay? 304 00:18:19,116 --> 00:18:20,700 No apartment and no Aidan. 305 00:18:24,866 --> 00:18:26,491 It's been a rough two weeks. 306 00:18:31,616 --> 00:18:33,325 Just give me a block. I'm gonna be fine. 307 00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:47,908 As I thought about leaving the apartment that I had lived in for the past decade 308 00:18:47,991 --> 00:18:50,200 I realized how much I would miss it. 309 00:18:50,283 --> 00:18:52,616 Through everything, it had always been there for me. 310 00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:55,658 And suddenly I was irrationally angry 311 00:18:56,866 --> 00:19:00,950 and I knew just where and who to take it irrationally out on. 312 00:19:01,033 --> 00:19:03,700 Hi. What are you doing here? 313 00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:05,741 I was just in the neighborhood. 314 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,533 Well, come on in. 315 00:19:09,325 --> 00:19:11,075 You want some iced tea or something? 316 00:19:12,033 --> 00:19:13,533 Why didn't you offer me the money? 317 00:19:15,158 --> 00:19:17,658 - I knew you were gonna say that. - I wouldn't take it. 318 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,866 Then what does it matter if I offer it or not? 319 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:20,950 Because… 320 00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:23,200 I would've offered it to you. 321 00:19:23,825 --> 00:19:24,825 You're my friend. 322 00:19:24,908 --> 00:19:27,491 Money and friendship don't mix. 323 00:19:27,575 --> 00:19:30,033 My father and his friend Paul were never the same… 324 00:19:30,116 --> 00:19:34,533 We're not talking about your father and his friend Paul. 325 00:19:35,158 --> 00:19:38,700 We're talking about you and your friend, me. 326 00:19:38,783 --> 00:19:41,075 And for the record, I am aware 327 00:19:41,158 --> 00:19:45,991 that I have some financial messiness that I have to clean up, and to that end 328 00:19:46,075 --> 00:19:48,533 I am looking into some freelance magazine work. 329 00:19:48,616 --> 00:19:51,616 I have been offered $4 a word at Vogue. That is a lot. 330 00:19:52,116 --> 00:19:53,325 Most people get $2. 331 00:19:54,325 --> 00:19:57,825 So yes, I have made some mistakes, and, Charlotte 332 00:19:58,408 --> 00:20:00,658 you have made some mistakes. 333 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,408 And when you were making those mistakes, 334 00:20:02,491 --> 00:20:05,700 I was sitting across from you at the coffee shop, 335 00:20:05,783 --> 00:20:08,741 nodding, and listening, and supporting you. 336 00:20:08,825 --> 00:20:12,116 I was not sitting at a Chinese restaurant 337 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:16,283 turning away, when you should have been looking at me. 338 00:20:16,366 --> 00:20:19,908 And what kills me is you don't even have to work. 339 00:20:19,991 --> 00:20:21,491 You're volunteering. 340 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:27,450 Carrie, I love you. 341 00:20:28,991 --> 00:20:32,325 But it's not my job to fix your finances. 342 00:20:33,616 --> 00:20:36,200 You're a 35-year-old woman. 343 00:20:36,283 --> 00:20:39,075 You need to learn to stand on your own. 344 00:20:39,158 --> 00:20:40,283 Charlotte… 345 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,033 What is that on your finger? 346 00:20:45,658 --> 00:20:49,325 I just wear it when I'm alone in my house. 347 00:20:49,408 --> 00:20:51,241 And you're telling me to be more independent? 348 00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:54,158 It's my ring. I can wear it if I want to. 349 00:20:54,241 --> 00:20:56,616 And so what if it makes me feel better? 350 00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,283 And for the record, 351 00:20:58,366 --> 00:21:01,825 the only reason that I'm volunteering is because no one will hire me. 352 00:21:01,908 --> 00:21:04,075 I've called seven galleries. 353 00:21:04,158 --> 00:21:07,616 Apparently I have too much experience. 354 00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:11,533 You're right. 355 00:21:11,616 --> 00:21:13,241 It's your ring, your business. 356 00:21:13,325 --> 00:21:15,158 I just got all worked up on the walk over here. 357 00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:16,866 You walked? 358 00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:19,866 No, I took a $5 cab ride, 7 blocks. 359 00:21:20,575 --> 00:21:23,783 These shoes pinch my feet, but I love them. 360 00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:27,241 I am in a financial cul-de-sac. 361 00:21:28,616 --> 00:21:30,116 But I'm gonna take the bus. 362 00:21:31,575 --> 00:21:32,866 Just hope I'm not on it. 363 00:21:37,658 --> 00:21:39,783 Meanwhile, in the lap of luxury… 364 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:45,366 It's okay. I'm Richard's assistant, and I'm gay. 365 00:21:45,866 --> 00:21:48,033 Okay. Turn around, and give a girl a moment. 366 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,991 I'm Roger, and you weren't supposed to be here. 367 00:21:52,075 --> 00:21:54,866 Richard left, and I decided to take a nice relaxing bath, 368 00:21:54,950 --> 00:21:56,491 but now that's shot to shit. 369 00:21:58,241 --> 00:21:59,366 Okay, decent. 370 00:22:00,450 --> 00:22:05,325 I am so sorry, but if it's any consolation, wow. 371 00:22:05,408 --> 00:22:06,491 Pilates. 372 00:22:07,033 --> 00:22:11,116 So why haven't I seen you around the office? 373 00:22:11,575 --> 00:22:15,908 Uh… He has three assistants. I run his errands. 374 00:22:15,991 --> 00:22:17,325 Oh, his errands. 375 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,866 Is that an errand gift-wrapped on the bed? 376 00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:24,200 Uh… 377 00:22:26,241 --> 00:22:28,950 All right, I'm his personal shopper. 378 00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:31,741 - He's a very busy man. - I'll bet. 379 00:22:33,241 --> 00:22:36,866 Exactly how many women are you buying gifts for? 380 00:22:36,950 --> 00:22:37,851 What do you mean? 381 00:22:37,866 --> 00:22:41,200 Roger, honey, you've seen my bush. We're a little past acting coy. 382 00:22:41,991 --> 00:22:44,575 Since you came into the picture, a lot less. 383 00:22:44,950 --> 00:22:47,033 And he's never sent me to Chanel before. 384 00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:49,741 That was fun. Great wallet. 385 00:22:49,825 --> 00:22:51,741 Also came in red, but I couldn't decide… 386 00:22:51,825 --> 00:22:54,241 So, Richard didn't pick out any of these gifts? 387 00:22:54,325 --> 00:22:55,700 Technically, no. 388 00:22:55,783 --> 00:22:58,908 But, uh, he really, really likes you. I can tell. 389 00:22:58,991 --> 00:23:00,491 Mmm, yeah, he thinks I'm the best. 390 00:23:01,408 --> 00:23:03,158 Wait, the cards. 391 00:23:03,825 --> 00:23:06,283 "Style for style"? "Sexy for sexy"? 392 00:23:06,366 --> 00:23:07,366 Um… 393 00:23:08,283 --> 00:23:09,283 "Me for you." 394 00:23:10,908 --> 00:23:12,450 Please, don't have me fired. 395 00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:15,366 I'll tell you what. I'll pretend you don't exist. 396 00:23:15,908 --> 00:23:18,658 - Thank you. - If you do one thing for me. 397 00:23:24,033 --> 00:23:25,408 Oh, Richard. 398 00:23:26,658 --> 00:23:29,116 - I thought you'd like it. - Oh, you did? 399 00:23:30,408 --> 00:23:31,616 Oh! Oops. 400 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,450 I forgot the card. 401 00:23:37,283 --> 00:23:38,575 "Gorgeous for gorgeous. 402 00:23:39,366 --> 00:23:41,450 Love, Richard." 403 00:23:52,491 --> 00:23:53,616 I love you, Samantha. 404 00:23:55,366 --> 00:23:57,241 - I do. - You do? 405 00:24:01,408 --> 00:24:02,450 And I love… 406 00:24:04,866 --> 00:24:05,866 this. 407 00:24:07,116 --> 00:24:09,408 Samantha could have said, "I love you." 408 00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:12,075 But she was afraid it would cost her too much. 409 00:24:12,158 --> 00:24:14,033 So she did what she did best. 410 00:24:16,283 --> 00:24:22,033 Okay, so every other Saturday and Wednesday at 5:00, you take him. 411 00:24:22,116 --> 00:24:24,700 I was thinking 4:57 would be better. 412 00:24:24,783 --> 00:24:25,991 You think this is stupid? 413 00:24:26,075 --> 00:24:30,783 No, I just was thinking that things are gonna get off-schedule. 414 00:24:30,866 --> 00:24:33,741 I mean, we're talking about a kid, not a train. 415 00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:38,991 I'd offer to do that for you, but I don't think it's in the contract. 416 00:24:39,075 --> 00:24:40,408 Don't give me a hard time. 417 00:24:41,033 --> 00:24:43,408 I could fart you into oblivion right now. 418 00:24:49,616 --> 00:24:51,241 Oh, that feels so great. 419 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,200 Thanks. 420 00:24:56,408 --> 00:24:57,908 Steve, am I ugly? 421 00:24:57,991 --> 00:24:58,991 What? 422 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:03,325 No. You got that glow. 423 00:25:03,783 --> 00:25:05,658 But would you want to have sex with me? 424 00:25:06,158 --> 00:25:07,658 What are you talking about? 425 00:25:08,616 --> 00:25:09,658 You're pregnant. 426 00:25:09,741 --> 00:25:10,741 Yeah. 427 00:25:11,450 --> 00:25:15,200 And another charming side effect, aside from flatulence and bloating, 428 00:25:15,283 --> 00:25:17,200 is all I can think about is sex. 429 00:25:18,158 --> 00:25:19,908 And who would want to have sex with me? 430 00:25:22,658 --> 00:25:24,241 I'd like to have sex with you, 431 00:25:25,325 --> 00:25:27,200 but I'm pretty sure that it's not allowed. 432 00:25:28,075 --> 00:25:31,158 I've read section B-14 in the contract, 433 00:25:32,991 --> 00:25:34,616 and it said nothing about sex. 434 00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:36,575 Fuck the contract. 435 00:25:38,825 --> 00:25:40,200 And please fuck me. 436 00:25:47,158 --> 00:25:48,908 - Ouch. - What? 437 00:25:48,991 --> 00:25:49,991 You're squishing me. 438 00:25:50,033 --> 00:25:51,158 - I'm sorry. - No. 439 00:25:51,908 --> 00:25:57,908 That night, Steve gave Miranda multiple orgasms, for what it's worth. 440 00:25:57,991 --> 00:26:01,450 Just to be clear, this doesn't mean we're a couple. 441 00:26:01,908 --> 00:26:03,116 This is a mercy fuck. 442 00:26:12,783 --> 00:26:13,783 I'm sorry about the other day. 443 00:26:14,866 --> 00:26:16,908 And I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. 444 00:26:16,991 --> 00:26:18,033 You were right. 445 00:26:18,116 --> 00:26:20,491 I haven't wanted to let go of being Mrs. Trey MacDougal. 446 00:26:20,575 --> 00:26:23,158 Well, I think that you are coping amazingly well. 447 00:26:24,700 --> 00:26:25,991 I'm just scared. 448 00:26:27,033 --> 00:26:28,033 I know. 449 00:26:29,075 --> 00:26:30,283 Me too. 450 00:26:30,366 --> 00:26:31,366 Wow. 451 00:26:32,783 --> 00:26:34,075 We're alone again. 452 00:26:34,533 --> 00:26:35,533 Yeah. 453 00:26:48,033 --> 00:26:49,825 I want you to take the ring for your down payment. 454 00:26:49,908 --> 00:26:53,658 Oh, no, no, I can't, I can't. You love this ring. 455 00:26:53,741 --> 00:26:54,741 No. 456 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,033 I love what the ring represented. 457 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:59,950 No, Charlotte, I think you're right. It would make things too complicated. 458 00:27:00,033 --> 00:27:02,700 Carrie, this is a straightforward business proposal. 459 00:27:02,783 --> 00:27:03,908 Clean and simple. 460 00:27:04,491 --> 00:27:06,991 Why do I have all this money if I can't help out a friend? 461 00:27:07,616 --> 00:27:09,283 But it would be a loan. I'll pay you back. 462 00:27:09,700 --> 00:27:10,700 I know. 463 00:27:11,283 --> 00:27:14,866 I want you to think really carefully about this. 464 00:27:15,241 --> 00:27:16,241 I have. 465 00:27:16,741 --> 00:27:20,033 Will you be comfortable knowing that it will take me time to pay you back? 466 00:27:20,533 --> 00:27:21,533 Yes, I will. 467 00:27:30,658 --> 00:27:32,200 I really appreciate this. 468 00:27:33,075 --> 00:27:34,575 And I'll pay you back. You know that, right? 469 00:27:35,866 --> 00:27:36,866 I do. 470 00:27:37,491 --> 00:27:39,950 It's okay. I trust you. 471 00:27:40,658 --> 00:27:41,950 Will you take the ring? 472 00:27:44,450 --> 00:27:45,450 I will. 473 00:27:46,741 --> 00:27:47,741 Thank you. 474 00:27:48,325 --> 00:27:50,908 Charlotte had taken her painful past 475 00:27:50,991 --> 00:27:53,325 and turned it into my hopeful future, 476 00:27:53,408 --> 00:27:56,241 - and that made the ring priceless. - Oh! 477 00:27:57,241 --> 00:27:59,450 I start work at the museum next week. 478 00:27:59,950 --> 00:28:02,366 Ooh. That's great. Oh, guess what. 479 00:28:02,450 --> 00:28:06,741 I got Vogue up to $4.50 a word. 480 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,450 I fixed the toilet, 481 00:28:11,950 --> 00:28:13,950 and I should be done with this by the end of the afternoon. 482 00:28:14,033 --> 00:28:15,825 Okay, great. Thank you. 483 00:28:19,408 --> 00:28:23,408 It wasn't quite as easy as clicking my Manolo Blahniks three times, 484 00:28:23,491 --> 00:28:24,616 but it was worth it. 485 00:28:25,450 --> 00:28:26,491 I was home.