1 00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:48,600 There is one day 2 00:00:48,683 --> 00:00:52,808 even the most cynical New York woman dreams of all her life. 3 00:00:52,891 --> 00:00:54,766 It'll be fabulous. Everything white. 4 00:00:54,850 --> 00:00:57,141 White flowers, white tablecloths, white food. 5 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,933 W-H-I-T-E. White. 6 00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:02,850 She imagines what she'll wear, the photographers, the toasts. 7 00:01:02,933 --> 00:01:07,850 Everybody's celebrating the fact that she finally found a publisher. 8 00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:10,100 It's her book-release party. 9 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,683 This is a sexy event, so don't be afraid to use color. 10 00:01:13,766 --> 00:01:16,725 I'm not afraid of anything. How about pink? 11 00:01:17,475 --> 00:01:18,600 Hot pink. 12 00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,225 Pink! 13 00:01:22,975 --> 00:01:25,141 Isn't it perfect? 14 00:01:25,558 --> 00:01:29,058 - It's huge. - Huge space, huge book. 15 00:01:29,141 --> 00:01:30,933 - Who's coming? - Everyone. 16 00:01:31,141 --> 00:01:33,641 - Okay, this is cuckoo. - Guest list! 17 00:01:34,308 --> 00:01:36,600 When your career is going better than ever, 18 00:01:37,475 --> 00:01:39,308 it's hard not to get a big head. 19 00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:43,725 Meanwhile, Miranda was back at the office, 20 00:01:43,808 --> 00:01:46,933 and she was politically incorrectly happy to be there. 21 00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:50,516 I have Walker Lewis calling. 22 00:01:52,266 --> 00:01:53,266 I'll take that. 23 00:01:53,350 --> 00:01:57,225 Miranda and Walker had shared one night of great sex BC. 24 00:01:57,308 --> 00:01:58,293 Before Child. 25 00:01:58,308 --> 00:02:00,308 I'm so glad I wasn't waiting for your call. 26 00:02:00,475 --> 00:02:02,183 I'm so glad you remember me. 27 00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:06,433 - I remember you. - Oh, I remember you, too. 28 00:02:07,308 --> 00:02:08,558 I remember you naked. 29 00:02:09,308 --> 00:02:12,350 So, how you been? What's new with you? 30 00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,183 Nothing much. How about you? 31 00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:18,475 I was hoping to take you on a very belated second date. 32 00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:20,058 How about Thursday? 33 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,641 She invited him to be her plus-one at the book party 34 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:25,433 since she knew she'd be conveniently minus one. 35 00:02:25,516 --> 00:02:27,558 Magda had already agreed to baby-sit. 36 00:02:28,891 --> 00:02:30,475 Meanwhile, Charlotte was working 37 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,183 on her perfect plus-one. 38 00:02:32,516 --> 00:02:34,391 Justin Anderson III. 39 00:02:36,725 --> 00:02:39,766 Well, thanks for another lovely lunch and for walking me home. 40 00:02:40,058 --> 00:02:41,100 My pleasure. 41 00:02:44,850 --> 00:02:46,975 Justin was just in time 42 00:02:47,225 --> 00:02:50,600 because Charlotte was finally ready for a new relationship. 43 00:02:50,683 --> 00:02:52,600 Oh! 44 00:02:53,225 --> 00:02:57,558 - Good afternoon, Mrs. Collier. - Yes, it certainly was. 45 00:03:00,725 --> 00:03:04,641 - And she's one of the friendly ones. - I think I'd better get back to work. 46 00:03:04,725 --> 00:03:06,350 - Okay. Bye. - Bye. 47 00:03:08,183 --> 00:03:10,183 I was in a new relationship, too, 48 00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:11,600 with my publisher. 49 00:03:11,683 --> 00:03:13,100 Hmm, okay, bye-bye. 50 00:03:13,558 --> 00:03:15,891 I am so freaking excited about this party! 51 00:03:15,975 --> 00:03:18,475 Seriously, Carrie, we are so golden. 52 00:03:18,558 --> 00:03:20,975 People actually want to come to this book party. 53 00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:23,933 All of Condé Nast is coming, including GQ, 54 00:03:24,058 --> 00:03:26,141 which has actual straight men. 55 00:03:26,225 --> 00:03:28,350 Someone better kiss me at this thing, that's all I gotta say. 56 00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,975 So, it's not about selling books, it's about finding you a boyfriend. 57 00:03:32,766 --> 00:03:34,100 Hey, Courtney… Oh! 58 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,766 I didn't know you had somebody in here. I'm sorry. 59 00:03:37,308 --> 00:03:38,516 Jack, what are you doing here? 60 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,766 Using the Xerox machine. 61 00:03:39,850 --> 00:03:41,808 - You finished your second book? - No, my suicide note. 62 00:03:42,975 --> 00:03:45,683 - Would you like a Save the Date card? - Please. 63 00:03:46,016 --> 00:03:47,183 You know each other? 64 00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:48,391 - No. - No. 65 00:03:48,475 --> 00:03:51,641 Oh, Carrie Bradshaw. Her book of essays comes out this week. 66 00:03:51,725 --> 00:03:53,141 Oh, very exciting. 67 00:03:53,225 --> 00:03:55,641 Jack Berger. We published his first book last year. 68 00:03:57,183 --> 00:03:58,683 And your name is Berger? 69 00:03:59,391 --> 00:04:00,808 Never heard of me. 70 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,058 What does that say about your publicity department? 71 00:04:03,183 --> 00:04:04,433 Not your primary market. 72 00:04:04,516 --> 00:04:07,016 Right, because she's not in my immediate family. 73 00:04:08,058 --> 00:04:10,266 Jack wrote a hilarious comic novel that speaks to men 74 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,975 the same way your column speaks to women. 75 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,975 Yeah, except men don't buy hilarious comic novels. 76 00:04:14,058 --> 00:04:15,558 That's the flaw in the plan. 77 00:04:15,641 --> 00:04:18,683 - What's your book? - Half-off. That's what it's called now. 78 00:04:18,766 --> 00:04:20,016 It's just half-off. 79 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:23,141 Sometimes, it's 75 cents on a card table on Sixth Avenue. 80 00:04:23,808 --> 00:04:25,683 - Next to the incense. - Exactly. 81 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,475 You two should talk because he knows the whole deal, 82 00:04:28,558 --> 00:04:30,558 the party, the signings, the reading, the tour. 83 00:04:34,183 --> 00:04:35,266 Minutes later, 84 00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:38,641 Jack Berger and I slowed down for a little fast food. 85 00:04:38,766 --> 00:04:41,641 I'm not so much feeding them as I'm hitting them. 86 00:04:41,725 --> 00:04:42,766 Yes, I see that. 87 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,516 Did the man have a little repressed anger, 88 00:04:45,975 --> 00:04:48,600 or did he just dislike pigeons, the woman wondered. 89 00:04:48,975 --> 00:04:51,808 The woman is tripping over the term "repressed." 90 00:04:53,558 --> 00:04:56,225 I'm not really bitter. I'm just trying it on for size. 91 00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:57,600 - I think it fits. - Yeah. 92 00:04:58,350 --> 00:04:59,766 It's a little tight in the crotch. 93 00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:05,683 You're saying "crotch" to me? We just met. 94 00:05:06,725 --> 00:05:07,975 Long in the sleeve? 95 00:05:09,725 --> 00:05:12,308 - Not as funny. - See that? It had to be "crotch." 96 00:05:13,058 --> 00:05:14,475 How's that strawberry shake? 97 00:05:16,058 --> 00:05:17,350 It's very tasty, thank you. 98 00:05:17,475 --> 00:05:19,391 I can't believe that you ordered strawberry. 99 00:05:19,516 --> 00:05:22,350 Who orders strawberry after the age of… 11? 100 00:05:22,766 --> 00:05:25,308 You have so much to learn about women. 101 00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:27,600 Yeah, that… that's what a few reviewers said. 102 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,058 All right, what's next? How long do I have you for? 103 00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:35,016 I don't know. What else is on your agenda? 104 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:36,391 I gotta pick up some dry cleaning. 105 00:05:36,475 --> 00:05:38,725 Would it be weird for you to come with me to pick up some dry cleaning? 106 00:05:38,808 --> 00:05:41,266 No. It would be weird for you to send me. 107 00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:43,266 It's a nice place. It's right around the corner. 108 00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:45,475 Family joint. They have an actual abacus. 109 00:05:55,891 --> 00:05:56,933 Thank you. 110 00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:01,016 We were having one of those great first dates 111 00:06:01,141 --> 00:06:03,850 you can only have when it's not an actual date. 112 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,100 Thank you. 113 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,100 - What's that? - It's stupid. 114 00:06:16,183 --> 00:06:17,558 I collect found playing cards. 115 00:06:17,975 --> 00:06:21,475 - They're all over the city. - Really? I never noticed. 116 00:06:21,558 --> 00:06:24,600 Well, you will now. That's how it works. 117 00:06:25,558 --> 00:06:28,975 I'm hoping to get a full deck. Insert the obvious joke here. 118 00:06:29,308 --> 00:06:32,266 And I didn't have a two of hearts. 119 00:06:33,725 --> 00:06:36,475 - It's a good day. - Yes, it is. 120 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:44,391 - Hey, Berger. - We're on a last-name basis now? 121 00:06:44,808 --> 00:06:45,808 - Yeah. - Okay. 122 00:06:46,558 --> 00:06:50,808 Berger, would you, by any chance… 123 00:06:52,141 --> 00:06:55,141 want to be my plus-one on Thursday? 124 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,683 It's my book party, and I don't have a date… 125 00:06:59,516 --> 00:07:01,933 and you'll have the clean shirt and all, so… 126 00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:05,808 I would love that, uh… 127 00:07:05,891 --> 00:07:09,766 but my girlfriend's parents are coming to visit, and they are staying with us. 128 00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:13,183 Oh. 129 00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:17,266 It was like a bomb that just kept exploding. 130 00:07:17,516 --> 00:07:19,558 "I have a girlfriend… 131 00:07:19,641 --> 00:07:21,683 We live together… 132 00:07:21,766 --> 00:07:24,850 This whole flirtation's in your head." 133 00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:26,766 He should have mentioned her earlier. 134 00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:30,016 But not too early. I hate it when men do that. 135 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:34,058 "I have a girlfriend." Calm down. I just asked if that seat was taken. 136 00:07:34,141 --> 00:07:36,558 - That guy's a jerk. - Thing is, I don't think he is. 137 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,516 I sparked with this person. I never spark. 138 00:07:44,516 --> 00:07:46,350 I wonder how happy they are. 139 00:07:48,016 --> 00:07:49,600 This is not a good side of me. 140 00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:52,058 Seriously, what's the point of meeting someone like that 141 00:07:52,141 --> 00:07:53,641 if they're not available? 142 00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:56,225 It's the universe telling you they're still out there. 143 00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:58,558 Maybe it's the universe telling you all the good ones are taken. 144 00:07:58,641 --> 00:08:01,475 I'm telling you, all the good ones are coming to the party. 145 00:08:02,641 --> 00:08:03,641 What did he look like? 146 00:08:04,975 --> 00:08:06,183 I can't remember. 147 00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:09,100 Which is what happens when I really like someone. 148 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,350 I just remember a feeling. 149 00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:14,891 Or he was a dating mirage. 150 00:08:14,975 --> 00:08:17,058 I was so hungry for a spark, I hallucinated a man. 151 00:08:17,141 --> 00:08:19,350 Stop. You're the toast of the town. 152 00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:23,100 Finish your salad, and I'll treat you to a little mani-pedi Botox. 153 00:08:23,183 --> 00:08:25,183 I like how you say that like everybody does it. 154 00:08:25,266 --> 00:08:28,391 - Everybody will. - I think I'd rather just crawl into bed. 155 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,350 Oh, honey, a little perspective! 156 00:08:30,433 --> 00:08:34,225 You have a fun, exciting, intellectually stimulating career, 157 00:08:34,308 --> 00:08:37,391 and there's about to be a huge soirée thrown in your honor. 158 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,933 Yes. And I'll be without a plus-one. 159 00:08:39,016 --> 00:08:40,600 - I'll be your plus-one. - Coffee? 160 00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:45,475 He should have said "we" something. "We go to this dry cleaners." 161 00:08:45,850 --> 00:08:47,891 "We might be breaking up soon." 162 00:08:48,225 --> 00:08:50,016 I didn't tell Walker I had a baby. 163 00:08:50,641 --> 00:08:52,808 - How could you not mention it? - It didn't come up. 164 00:08:52,891 --> 00:08:56,225 If Walker had asked me directly, "Have you given birth recently?" 165 00:08:56,308 --> 00:08:58,933 I would have said, "First of all, define 'recently.'" 166 00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,058 - You have to tell him. - I know. I will. 167 00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:03,516 I just don't want it to change everything. 168 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,016 If I didn't have a baby, this is a guy I'd be dating. 169 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,933 If Carrie's guy didn't have a girlfriend then he's a guy she'd be dating, 170 00:09:10,475 --> 00:09:11,641 but he does. 171 00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:13,141 Thanks for bringing that up again. 172 00:09:15,433 --> 00:09:17,308 In New York, they say you're always looking 173 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:20,141 for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment. 174 00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:23,766 So, let's say you have two out of three, and they're fabulous. 175 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:26,266 Why do we let the one thing we don't have 176 00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:29,100 affect how we feel about all the things we do have? 177 00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:34,350 Why does one minus a plus-one feel like it adds up to zero? 178 00:09:40,183 --> 00:09:42,808 Samantha didn't need a man to make her feel positive, 179 00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:46,016 but she did need a man to inject her forehead every so often. 180 00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:48,433 We like to warn our patients 181 00:09:48,516 --> 00:09:52,641 that some people find it difficult to register emotion on their faces 182 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:53,975 after the injections. 183 00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:58,433 So you might have to say, "I am so angry." 184 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,433 Miss Jones is familiar with the procedure. 185 00:10:01,808 --> 00:10:02,891 Oh. 186 00:10:06,516 --> 00:10:07,600 New ones? 187 00:10:07,725 --> 00:10:09,433 Like most high-powered women, 188 00:10:09,516 --> 00:10:11,641 Samantha could handle the stress of her job 189 00:10:11,891 --> 00:10:13,850 but not the stress lines. 190 00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:15,600 Before we do the Botox, 191 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:18,100 have you thought about a freshening chemical peel? 192 00:10:18,475 --> 00:10:20,475 It takes 15 minutes, and it can make you look 193 00:10:20,558 --> 00:10:21,725 ten to 20 years younger. 194 00:10:25,308 --> 00:10:28,975 Fifteen minutes later, Samantha seemed to have it all… 195 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,850 …peeled off. 196 00:10:35,225 --> 00:10:37,641 There are times when a woman relishes being alone. 197 00:10:37,725 --> 00:10:39,016 - There you go. - Thank you. 198 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,391 Oh, my God! 199 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,225 And those are the times you usually run into someone 200 00:10:45,308 --> 00:10:46,308 you don't wanna see. 201 00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:50,433 In my case, it was Enid Frick, my editor at Vogue, 202 00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:51,766 also alone. 203 00:10:54,308 --> 00:10:56,183 Carrie. 204 00:10:57,766 --> 00:10:59,308 Enid. Hi. 205 00:11:02,891 --> 00:11:05,183 - How are you? - Good. Good. 206 00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:08,266 - Are you meeting someone? - No, I'm just grabbing a quick bite. 207 00:11:09,308 --> 00:11:10,558 Well, um… 208 00:11:10,641 --> 00:11:13,475 - Would you like to… - Oh, no. Not if you're working. 209 00:11:13,558 --> 00:11:15,183 No, it's fine. I was just reading. 210 00:11:16,183 --> 00:11:17,266 Hello! 211 00:11:18,641 --> 00:11:19,641 Hi. 212 00:11:20,516 --> 00:11:23,600 - Hello! is what you're… - Oh, reading! 213 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,225 Yes. 214 00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:27,266 So, do you really want company? 215 00:11:28,266 --> 00:11:30,141 Sure. I just ordered. 216 00:11:32,975 --> 00:11:35,100 I guess this way I can expense it. 217 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:37,391 Right. 218 00:11:44,266 --> 00:11:46,183 Enid and I ran out of Vogue stuff 219 00:11:46,266 --> 00:11:48,558 to talk about midway through our salads. 220 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:50,891 - Do you live in the neighborhood? - No. 221 00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:57,933 But the man I'm seeing does. 222 00:11:59,808 --> 00:12:01,308 So, there's a man. 223 00:12:02,725 --> 00:12:04,766 Yes, there is a man. 224 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:08,183 Well, that's great. You have a wildly successful career 225 00:12:08,266 --> 00:12:11,016 and a relationship. I was worried we, you know, 226 00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:16,725 women only get one or the other, but you have it all. 227 00:12:21,683 --> 00:12:24,475 Enid, you gotta give me something here. I'm working my ass off. 228 00:12:25,933 --> 00:12:27,016 All right. 229 00:12:27,516 --> 00:12:30,766 To speak in magazine copy, yes, I have it all… 230 00:12:31,808 --> 00:12:33,016 on the East Side. 231 00:12:33,391 --> 00:12:37,350 He has someone else on the West Side. Luckily, the park provides a buffer. 232 00:12:38,516 --> 00:12:39,600 So… 233 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,725 you're okay with that? 234 00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:42,933 Yes. 235 00:12:43,058 --> 00:12:46,391 I don't have time for a full-time man. I have a full-time job. 236 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,558 That's the key to having it all. 237 00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:52,058 Stop expecting it to look like what you thought it was going to look like. 238 00:12:52,558 --> 00:12:55,558 That's true of the fall lines, and it's true of relationships. 239 00:12:57,475 --> 00:13:01,016 Her little tip earned Enid one invitation to my party. 240 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:06,141 That night, Charlotte let her perfect plus-one have it all. 241 00:13:23,433 --> 00:13:26,975 She even let him stay the night in her perfect pre-war apartment. 242 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,350 Oh, yeah, that's Manjay. I ordered breakfast. 243 00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:34,308 You're too good to be true. 244 00:13:39,475 --> 00:13:40,766 Unfortunately, 245 00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:43,600 Charlotte was about to get much more than she ordered. 246 00:13:48,558 --> 00:13:52,350 - Is anybody home? - Yes. I am. 247 00:13:52,808 --> 00:13:55,975 - Oh, hello, Charlotte. - Bunny, what are you doing here? 248 00:13:56,058 --> 00:13:58,433 The question is, what are you doing here? 249 00:13:58,516 --> 00:14:00,933 I'm hearing things from the co-op board. 250 00:14:01,058 --> 00:14:03,100 They're spying on me? 251 00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:06,100 Mrs. Collier saw you kissing a male caller 252 00:14:06,183 --> 00:14:08,308 in the hall in the middle of the day. 253 00:14:08,391 --> 00:14:10,475 I believe that kissing is allowed. 254 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,183 And Mrs. Pierce said a gentleman, 255 00:14:13,516 --> 00:14:16,225 we assume it was the same one, but who knows, 256 00:14:16,766 --> 00:14:20,350 came home with you last night. And according to the doorman… 257 00:14:21,933 --> 00:14:23,058 he hasn't left yet. 258 00:14:23,141 --> 00:14:26,308 What I do with my life in my apartment… 259 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,600 That's the thing, dear. 260 00:14:27,725 --> 00:14:31,183 - It's not your apartment. - Trey gave me this apartment. 261 00:14:31,266 --> 00:14:32,725 It's not Trey's to give. 262 00:14:33,058 --> 00:14:35,891 And this apartment remains in the MacDougal name, 263 00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:40,141 whereas you, Charlotte York, do not. 264 00:14:40,475 --> 00:14:42,766 So, you see, it's rather a sticky subject 265 00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:45,725 made stickier by the fact that you're still married. 266 00:14:45,808 --> 00:14:47,058 Ah… 267 00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:51,225 - You're married? - I'm not married. I'm separated. 268 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,850 Aren't you missing a pair of trousers? 269 00:14:55,641 --> 00:14:59,141 - You! You have to go. - Don't you hustle me out, young lady. 270 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:00,850 This is Chanel. 271 00:15:02,475 --> 00:15:04,266 Charlotte discovered that a plus-one, 272 00:15:04,391 --> 00:15:06,100 plus one ex-mother-in-law 273 00:15:06,766 --> 00:15:08,225 equals disaster. 274 00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:13,058 Meanwhile, I was manning Party Central. 275 00:15:17,933 --> 00:15:20,308 - Hello. - Anthony will be my date to the party. 276 00:15:20,391 --> 00:15:23,183 What happened to this perfect plus-one we all had to meet? 277 00:15:23,308 --> 00:15:24,558 I don't wanna talk about it. 278 00:15:24,641 --> 00:15:25,543 Sweetie, what… 279 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,100 Ooh, that's my call waiting. Can you hang on a sec? 280 00:15:27,183 --> 00:15:28,891 No, I can't. 281 00:15:28,975 --> 00:15:31,683 That's the locksmith. Bunny's back. 282 00:15:32,058 --> 00:15:33,058 Ooh. 283 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,600 Hello. 284 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:38,641 - I'm definitely on the list, correct? - Of course you're on the list. 285 00:15:38,725 --> 00:15:42,225 - Good 'cause I'm bringing my boyfriend. - Yes, I've heard. 286 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:45,350 I don't want to seem like a nobody, now that I have a somebody. 287 00:15:45,475 --> 00:15:48,016 Oh, so it's okay to be a nobody when you have nobody? 288 00:15:48,141 --> 00:15:50,391 Well, apparently, you're nobody till somebody loves you. 289 00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,516 I can't believe I used to like that song. 290 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,475 It's the co-dependent national anthem. 291 00:15:54,558 --> 00:15:59,600 - Oh, methinks someone's a little jealy. - I just miss having you as my plus-one. 292 00:15:59,850 --> 00:16:02,391 You know, the gay guy is the single gal's safety net. 293 00:16:02,475 --> 00:16:05,391 Even Charlotte has a gay plus-one, and this is my big night. 294 00:16:05,475 --> 00:16:07,475 Her little boy-bitch Anthony is coming? 295 00:16:07,558 --> 00:16:10,225 Yes, he's coming. He styled the event. 296 00:16:10,725 --> 00:16:12,516 Good. I'm glad he'll be there. 297 00:16:12,850 --> 00:16:15,558 'Cause he's bringing a woman, and I have it all. 298 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:16,808 Ooh, and I have a call. 299 00:16:16,891 --> 00:16:18,558 - See you tonight. - Okay, ciao. 300 00:16:19,475 --> 00:16:20,475 Hello. 301 00:16:20,558 --> 00:16:23,600 Honey, I've had a little something done, 302 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:27,558 and it's not as bad as yesterday, but… 303 00:16:29,933 --> 00:16:31,183 I've looked better. 304 00:16:33,016 --> 00:16:36,475 I'm not sure I should go to the party. 305 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,725 You have to come. You're my publicist, 306 00:16:38,808 --> 00:16:40,933 and thanks to you, there's going to be 8,000 people there. 307 00:16:41,058 --> 00:16:44,266 I would like to see at least one familiar face. 308 00:16:44,808 --> 00:16:45,808 Well… 309 00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:47,850 Samantha, I need you. I can't talk to the press. 310 00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:49,475 I can't keep everyone straight. 311 00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:52,891 And you said you'd be my plus-one. 312 00:16:52,975 --> 00:16:57,225 Oh… All right. Don't worry about a thing. 313 00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:00,600 - I'll be there. - Okay. Thank you. 314 00:17:15,641 --> 00:17:17,850 The party was one of those amazing events 315 00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:20,433 that would definitely end up on Page Six. 316 00:17:20,766 --> 00:17:22,641 The fact that it was my party 317 00:17:22,766 --> 00:17:25,641 was just icing on the beautiful little cakes 318 00:17:25,766 --> 00:17:29,058 that were being passed around by beautiful little waiters. 319 00:17:29,475 --> 00:17:31,975 Carrie Bradshaw, right here! Carrie, one more! 320 00:17:32,058 --> 00:17:33,266 Oh! That's great! 321 00:17:33,725 --> 00:17:35,183 Carrie, right here! Oh! 322 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,350 Thank you. 323 00:17:40,558 --> 00:17:43,433 Oh, my God, Carrie! 324 00:17:43,516 --> 00:17:45,350 One more. One more, Miss Bradshaw. 325 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,058 Can you believe this? 326 00:17:48,183 --> 00:17:50,266 Is it a bad thing if the party is better than the book? 327 00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:53,725 I've been turning people away. Not the straight men, of course. 328 00:17:53,808 --> 00:17:57,058 Hey, have you seen Samantha? Vanity Fair doesn't have a table. 329 00:17:57,141 --> 00:17:59,516 - Oh. - Not your problem. Enjoy. 330 00:17:59,933 --> 00:18:01,266 Ooh, cute guy. 331 00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:05,016 Hey. 332 00:18:05,683 --> 00:18:08,725 Hello, Carrie. I'm Harold Keenan of The New Yorker. 333 00:18:08,850 --> 00:18:12,350 I've been following your career. Let me just say congratulations. 334 00:18:12,433 --> 00:18:15,350 Carrie, I'm here! 335 00:18:18,558 --> 00:18:20,225 You look amazing. 336 00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:26,683 Harold Keenan from The New Yorker, this is Samantha Jones, bee-keeper. 337 00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:29,808 What are you doing under there? Talk to the man. Let him see your face. 338 00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:31,600 - Carrie! - Hi. 339 00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:38,475 There she was. My plus-one. Minus one layer of skin. 340 00:18:38,558 --> 00:18:42,433 Hi, I've had a chemical peel. I'm Carrie's publicist. 341 00:18:47,558 --> 00:18:49,308 Could you at least separate the two thoughts, 342 00:18:49,391 --> 00:18:51,058 chemical peel, Carrie's publicist? 343 00:18:51,433 --> 00:18:52,683 Why did you do this? 344 00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:54,641 - It was an impulse purchase. - No, no. 345 00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:58,141 Gum is an impulse purchase. This is more than gum. 346 00:18:58,225 --> 00:19:00,058 I wanted to be super-fresh for the party. 347 00:19:00,141 --> 00:19:03,558 Well, you are. You look like beef carpaccio. Veil down, I think. 348 00:19:03,683 --> 00:19:04,683 - No! - Yeah. 349 00:19:04,725 --> 00:19:06,016 If you knew how many dinner parties 350 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,058 I've sat through across from one of these… 351 00:19:08,141 --> 00:19:09,266 And you were able to eat? 352 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,600 Carrie, I'm entitled to a chemical peel. 353 00:19:12,683 --> 00:19:15,141 Wait! No! The hat was good! 354 00:19:15,225 --> 00:19:16,600 Women shouldn't have to hide in the shadows 355 00:19:17,558 --> 00:19:20,933 because they've had cosmetic surgery, which society nearly demands of them. 356 00:19:21,016 --> 00:19:23,016 Wear a ribbon and make that political statement elsewhere. 357 00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:25,391 This is my party, and you're scaring people. 358 00:19:25,475 --> 00:19:27,100 - Carrie? - Oh, hi. 359 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,850 I've had a chemical peel. 360 00:19:30,016 --> 00:19:31,766 And she's not afraid to say it. 361 00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,766 When I had my nose job, I stayed in for a month. 362 00:19:37,766 --> 00:19:38,891 Oh, excuse us. 363 00:19:39,016 --> 00:19:41,600 We have to go find Charlotte and her tiny little friend. 364 00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:46,016 We were just getting to know each other. I was planning on telling him. 365 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,725 Char, you can wrap it up in a Tiffany bow all you'd like, 366 00:19:48,808 --> 00:19:50,641 but the point is you wanted to get laid first. 367 00:19:51,975 --> 00:19:55,641 - Charlotte, hello. - Hi, Stanford. You remember Anthony. 368 00:19:55,975 --> 00:19:57,641 Anthony… Oh! 369 00:19:57,975 --> 00:19:59,641 Oh, of course. You tried to fix us up 370 00:19:59,725 --> 00:20:02,016 at the fashion show. I didn't know he'd be here. 371 00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:05,808 This is Marcus, my boyfriend. 372 00:20:06,058 --> 00:20:08,308 Really? How long you two been going together? 373 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,183 Four months. 374 00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:13,266 Hmm. Four whole months. Good luck to you. 375 00:20:14,016 --> 00:20:16,183 We don't need luck. We're in love. 376 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:17,725 Mmm-hmm. 377 00:20:18,058 --> 00:20:19,058 Shrimp! 378 00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:22,641 For some people, having it all is not enough. 379 00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,725 They need someone who missed out on it all to be jealous. 380 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,766 We're getting a house in the Hamptons. 381 00:20:28,058 --> 00:20:29,475 This friggin' coconut shrimp! 382 00:20:29,558 --> 00:20:32,058 What do you do with the tails? Mr. Shrimpy! 383 00:20:32,641 --> 00:20:34,516 And he has a large penis! 384 00:20:34,725 --> 00:20:36,100 Oh… 385 00:20:37,850 --> 00:20:39,391 Where in the Hamptons? 386 00:20:40,516 --> 00:20:43,641 From a pair of queens to a hand still not shown. 387 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,850 Maybe you and I should go somewhere a little less crowded. 388 00:20:53,641 --> 00:20:55,975 - Like… - Anywhere in Manhattan? 389 00:20:57,975 --> 00:21:01,683 - Your apartment? - Yes, but… 390 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,183 First, I have to tell you something. 391 00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:08,558 - Ah! There's someone else. - Sort of. 392 00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:11,516 I had a baby. 393 00:21:15,266 --> 00:21:18,016 But I'm still allowed to have sex. 394 00:21:20,266 --> 00:21:23,225 Is it, uh… mine? 395 00:21:23,475 --> 00:21:25,725 No! No. 396 00:21:25,808 --> 00:21:29,100 The guy's a friend who I accidentally slept with. 397 00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:35,891 - I'm not good with kids. - Neither am I. 398 00:21:37,933 --> 00:21:41,225 Look… months from now, if we're still together, 399 00:21:41,475 --> 00:21:45,350 we'll figure this out. But for now, it's just us, 400 00:21:45,433 --> 00:21:49,308 and I'm still the same person, so… 401 00:21:50,975 --> 00:21:52,766 Let's go screw our brains out. 402 00:22:04,308 --> 00:22:06,683 Oh, yeah! Yeah! 403 00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:09,225 Oh, that feels amazing! 404 00:22:10,141 --> 00:22:13,100 - You sure we won't wake him? - He's fine. He's fine. 405 00:22:13,308 --> 00:22:14,475 Forget about him. 406 00:22:15,433 --> 00:22:18,350 Miranda was trying to prove she could still do it all, 407 00:22:18,433 --> 00:22:20,975 bring home the bacon, bring home the baby, 408 00:22:21,058 --> 00:22:22,933 and bring home an orgasm. 409 00:22:23,016 --> 00:22:25,850 Oh, yeah! Oh, Walker! 410 00:22:26,391 --> 00:22:27,641 Don't stop. 411 00:22:28,433 --> 00:22:29,975 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 412 00:22:33,475 --> 00:22:37,766 Mommy's coming! Mommy's coming! 413 00:22:38,308 --> 00:22:39,725 I don't think I can do this. 414 00:22:40,933 --> 00:22:45,433 - I told you. I'm not a baby guy. - Couldn't I just please come first? 415 00:23:01,516 --> 00:23:03,683 Oh, so, now you stop crying. 416 00:23:14,641 --> 00:23:17,850 So, here we are, huh? 417 00:23:18,516 --> 00:23:20,100 The night of my big party, 418 00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:23,183 Miranda finally gave in to her little party. 419 00:23:23,683 --> 00:23:27,600 Because she wasn't the same person. She was plus one. 420 00:23:28,975 --> 00:23:31,725 Yeah. It's okay. 421 00:23:35,350 --> 00:23:38,266 So, a book! Does anybody read books anymore? 422 00:23:38,725 --> 00:23:40,266 Actually, I think books are coming back. 423 00:23:40,391 --> 00:23:42,266 You can quote me on the side of a bus if you want. 424 00:23:42,391 --> 00:23:44,683 "Books are back." Isaac Mizrahi. 425 00:23:44,808 --> 00:23:46,600 - Okay, I'll remember that. - All right. Meet me. 426 00:23:46,975 --> 00:23:49,183 - Bye. - Perfect party, Carrie. Congratulations. 427 00:23:49,308 --> 00:23:51,308 - Worth coming downtown for? - Mmm. 428 00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:54,975 Was that a yes or a no? 429 00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:56,641 Ooh. Oh! 430 00:23:56,975 --> 00:23:59,308 Last one. Thank you. 431 00:24:02,433 --> 00:24:05,225 As I looked around, I thought, "Who needs a date?" 432 00:24:05,641 --> 00:24:07,808 I can have my cake and eat it, too. 433 00:24:10,391 --> 00:24:13,558 Then suddenly, there he was, 434 00:24:13,975 --> 00:24:17,391 looking cuter than I remembered and minus one girlfriend. 435 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:23,016 Hey, lady of the hour. You're hard to get to. 436 00:24:23,433 --> 00:24:25,600 So is the dessert tray, when it's your party. 437 00:24:26,058 --> 00:24:27,600 Just as a point of reference, 438 00:24:27,683 --> 00:24:30,725 my book party could have fit in the coat check of your book party. 439 00:24:30,850 --> 00:24:32,933 Four hundred of my closest acquaintances. 440 00:24:33,975 --> 00:24:34,975 You look great. 441 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,308 So, I thought you couldn't make it. 442 00:24:38,433 --> 00:24:40,850 I had to come by, say congratulations. 443 00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:44,100 Well… 444 00:24:45,683 --> 00:24:47,766 - Thanks for coming, Berger. - Yeah. 445 00:24:50,683 --> 00:24:55,141 All right, uh… Good luck with the book and everything. 446 00:24:56,350 --> 00:24:57,350 You, too. 447 00:25:07,766 --> 00:25:08,850 Excuse me. 448 00:25:08,933 --> 00:25:10,266 - Hey. - Hey. 449 00:25:10,350 --> 00:25:14,850 - Was that the spark guy? - Yes, it was. Jack Berger. 450 00:25:14,933 --> 00:25:18,100 - All by his lonesome. - Well, he is awfully cute. 451 00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:20,391 Is he? I forgot again. 452 00:25:20,891 --> 00:25:23,975 He's obviously here because he felt something, too. 453 00:25:24,058 --> 00:25:26,600 Can you call me from a cab and tell me that? 454 00:25:27,058 --> 00:25:29,433 I love you, but your face… 455 00:25:29,516 --> 00:25:32,725 I know. The caterer just shooed me away from the buffet. 456 00:25:33,683 --> 00:25:36,808 - Do you mind if I go home? - I thought you'd never ask! 457 00:25:37,641 --> 00:25:39,100 Thank you for being here. 458 00:25:39,933 --> 00:25:44,558 Honey, I wouldn't have gone out in public like this for anyone but you. 459 00:25:44,808 --> 00:25:47,850 I know. And I have to live with that. 460 00:25:51,641 --> 00:25:53,141 - Bye. - Bye. 461 00:25:55,766 --> 00:25:58,641 I might go, too. My plus-one dumped me for a shrimp waiter. 462 00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:00,975 I'd love to leave, but I have to stay. 463 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,725 I'm like the ice sculpture the party's supposed to happen around. 464 00:26:09,683 --> 00:26:11,225 I had to let him go, correct? 465 00:26:12,933 --> 00:26:14,933 I just wish he'd told me right up-front. 466 00:26:16,433 --> 00:26:19,766 The thing is, there's some things people don't admit 467 00:26:19,891 --> 00:26:22,433 because they just don't like the way it sounds, 468 00:26:22,516 --> 00:26:25,933 like… "I'm getting divorced." 469 00:26:26,183 --> 00:26:27,391 I'm lonely. 470 00:26:29,100 --> 00:26:30,100 I am. 471 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,266 The loneliness is palpable. 472 00:26:36,725 --> 00:26:38,558 Why didn't you tell me you invited Cliff? 473 00:26:38,641 --> 00:26:41,266 - Cliff who? - Cliff! Cliff! My Cliff! 474 00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:42,891 He's with her. 475 00:26:43,141 --> 00:26:46,308 That's him? Cliff Bregan from Primetime Sports? 476 00:26:46,391 --> 00:26:48,266 Don't make a scene! 477 00:26:48,391 --> 00:26:51,475 - Is this her side of town? - We're below Houston! 478 00:26:51,558 --> 00:26:53,975 East Side, West Side, who the hell knows down here? 479 00:26:54,683 --> 00:26:56,558 I am so angry. 480 00:26:58,016 --> 00:27:01,058 As it turns out, even the most together woman 481 00:27:01,141 --> 00:27:03,391 can't keep it together when it comes to love. 482 00:27:03,975 --> 00:27:06,433 - Who was that? - My role model. 483 00:27:06,516 --> 00:27:08,516 Because just below the surface, 484 00:27:08,766 --> 00:27:10,516 we're all raw and exposed. 485 00:27:11,516 --> 00:27:12,516 Bye. 486 00:27:13,808 --> 00:27:14,808 Bye. 487 00:27:27,641 --> 00:27:30,308 So, what was the party for? 488 00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:32,100 Um… 489 00:27:32,558 --> 00:27:35,183 Me. I have a book coming out. 490 00:27:35,558 --> 00:27:37,141 You wrote a book! 491 00:27:37,308 --> 00:27:39,808 Well, it's just a collection of my… 492 00:27:41,975 --> 00:27:46,808 - Yes, I wrote a book. - That's amazing! Congratulations. 493 00:27:46,933 --> 00:27:48,183 Thank you. 494 00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:49,808 It was kind of amazing. 495 00:27:50,391 --> 00:27:52,891 Why did I need a stranger to remind me of that? 496 00:27:52,975 --> 00:27:57,141 - So, where can I take you? - Oh, uh, home. 73rd and… 497 00:27:57,225 --> 00:28:00,516 Oh, no, no, no. We have to celebrate this. 498 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,558 All right, coming right up. 499 00:28:06,641 --> 00:28:08,683 I need those two with mustard there. Come on, rapido, Papi. 500 00:28:08,766 --> 00:28:11,100 - Can I tell him? I want to tell him. - Oh, no, I don't… 501 00:28:11,183 --> 00:28:12,725 - She wrote a book. - Oh, no kidding! Congratulations. 502 00:28:14,016 --> 00:28:15,600 Gonna be in bookstores and everything? 503 00:28:15,683 --> 00:28:16,933 - Yep. Yep. - That's great. 504 00:28:17,016 --> 00:28:19,475 Well, if that's the case, then tonight, the hot dogs are on me. 505 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,891 - Oh, no, you don't have to… - The dogs are on me. I insist. 506 00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:24,141 Thank you. 507 00:28:24,225 --> 00:28:25,891 - Thanks. - Sure. Have a nice weekend. 508 00:28:25,975 --> 00:28:26,975 Thank you. 509 00:28:27,308 --> 00:28:28,766 All I could think was 510 00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:33,475 who needs a Berger when you can get a fabulous hot dog for 75 cents, 511 00:28:33,558 --> 00:28:34,600 or free? 512 00:28:34,683 --> 00:28:35,766 Thanks. 513 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,975 Then again, maybe there is something 514 00:28:43,058 --> 00:28:44,266 to knowing they're out there.