1 00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,861 When you live in the city that never sleeps, 2 00:00:47,945 --> 00:00:50,570 it comes as a bit of a shock when somehow, 3 00:00:50,695 --> 00:00:52,611 you manage to oversleep. 4 00:00:52,695 --> 00:00:57,820 Oh. Oh. Taxi! Taxi! 5 00:01:06,611 --> 00:01:07,778 Oh, excuse me. 6 00:01:11,361 --> 00:01:14,070 Oh, Oh, oh, I'm sorry. 7 00:01:16,403 --> 00:01:17,403 Oh, taxi! 8 00:01:19,861 --> 00:01:20,861 Thank you! 9 00:01:27,361 --> 00:01:28,403 Shit! 10 00:01:38,778 --> 00:01:42,861 Sir. Sir, I have to be downtown in 30 minutes. 11 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,778 Thank you. 12 00:01:52,986 --> 00:01:54,195 Keep the change. 13 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,945 Need a lift? 14 00:02:17,486 --> 00:02:20,070 Excuse me, Hi. Which way to the Stock Exchange? 15 00:02:20,153 --> 00:02:21,361 - There. - Thank you. 16 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:22,903 Oh, excuse me. 17 00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:34,778 - Step forward. - Okay. 18 00:02:34,861 --> 00:02:35,986 Stop. Give him the bag. 19 00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:37,403 Oh, here, can you hold that? 20 00:02:38,778 --> 00:02:41,278 Let's go. Stop. Arms. 21 00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:44,111 I'm sorry. Oh. 22 00:02:46,070 --> 00:02:49,695 Oh, sir? Sir, can you hurry? I'm here to ring the bell. 23 00:02:50,153 --> 00:02:51,528 - Go right ahead. - Thank you. 24 00:02:51,611 --> 00:02:52,611 Step forward. 25 00:03:01,528 --> 00:03:04,570 All right, you have to put this on. And we gotta hurry up. 26 00:03:05,236 --> 00:03:06,486 Wow. 27 00:03:19,445 --> 00:03:23,070 Today, one of New York's favorite newspapers, 28 00:03:23,153 --> 00:03:25,695 the New York Star is going public. 29 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:31,611 And here at open trading, is one of its favorite columnists, Carrie Bradshaw. 30 00:03:34,486 --> 00:03:36,861 - Now you can press it. - Okay. 31 00:03:42,153 --> 00:03:43,736 The day after the stock market, 32 00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:46,903 I met the ladies for lunch in the fashionable meat market. 33 00:03:46,986 --> 00:03:50,445 It was so exciting. It almost made me invest in something. 34 00:03:50,528 --> 00:03:52,028 I love the stock market. 35 00:03:52,111 --> 00:03:55,445 A room full of screaming sweaty men, all trying to get it up. 36 00:03:55,528 --> 00:03:57,861 I don't invest anymore. It's too volatile. 37 00:03:58,153 --> 00:04:01,778 Exactly. I want my money right where I can see it. Hanging in my closet. 38 00:04:01,861 --> 00:04:03,445 Actually, your stock is up. 39 00:04:03,528 --> 00:04:05,653 I bought some shares of your newspaper yesterday. 40 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,861 Really? Well, thank you sweetie, was it expensive? 41 00:04:08,945 --> 00:04:11,236 - Oh, no you're cheap. - Well, I never. 42 00:04:12,153 --> 00:04:13,945 - Ladies. - Thank you. 43 00:04:14,028 --> 00:04:15,111 Thank you. 44 00:04:15,195 --> 00:04:17,611 Twenty dollars for a hamburger. Oh, that's reasonable. 45 00:04:17,695 --> 00:04:20,153 Pathetic. When I moved to this neighborhood, 46 00:04:20,236 --> 00:04:21,820 the only thing that cost $20 47 00:04:21,903 --> 00:04:23,653 - was a hand job from a tranny. - Ew. 48 00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:27,153 I'm serious. It's all gotten so sanitary. 49 00:04:27,445 --> 00:04:30,903 I mean no smoking in bars. What's next? No fucking in bars? 50 00:04:30,986 --> 00:04:33,486 Well, first there would have to be a no fucking section. 51 00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:37,195 I mean, just look at this street. Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen. 52 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:40,528 The only designer name that belongs in the meat packing district, 53 00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:41,903 is Oscar Mayer. 54 00:04:41,986 --> 00:04:44,570 I never liked his clothes. Too fatty. 55 00:04:44,653 --> 00:04:47,361 But that's what great about New York. There's always a new neighborhood, 56 00:04:47,445 --> 00:04:48,445 a new restaurant. 57 00:04:48,486 --> 00:04:50,611 - A new man. - Oh. 58 00:04:50,695 --> 00:04:55,320 That's right. Friday night, my first official date with Jack Berger. 59 00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:57,653 That is so exciting. Isn't that exciting? 60 00:04:57,736 --> 00:05:01,320 Oh, sure. It's all fun and games till someone has a child. 61 00:05:01,403 --> 00:05:03,695 So, what do you two have planned? 62 00:05:03,778 --> 00:05:05,028 Well, he hasn't said yet, 63 00:05:05,111 --> 00:05:07,653 so many, many outfits need to be scouted. 64 00:05:07,861 --> 00:05:09,653 Oh, you kids today and your dating. 65 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:13,445 I know. I feel like a girl of 35 again. 66 00:05:13,528 --> 00:05:14,945 Oh. 67 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,111 Oh, I really like him. 68 00:05:18,195 --> 00:05:20,570 Then you better find out his bottom line right up front. 69 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,945 If Harry had told me that he could only be serious about me if I were Jewish, 70 00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:26,070 I doubt I'd be in my situation. 71 00:05:26,153 --> 00:05:28,945 I don't get it. What kind of man passes up pussy for Purim? 72 00:05:30,903 --> 00:05:32,861 Soup and a tenderloin of pork. 73 00:05:35,236 --> 00:05:36,486 What's with the face? 74 00:05:37,028 --> 00:05:39,820 - I didn't make a face. - I said pork, you went… 75 00:05:40,945 --> 00:05:42,986 It's just I'm confused. 76 00:05:44,153 --> 00:05:45,445 I mean you can order pork 77 00:05:45,528 --> 00:05:48,236 but you can't get serious about a future with me because I'm not Jewish. 78 00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:51,028 And from the meat market, to the marriage market. 79 00:05:51,403 --> 00:05:55,070 Charlotte, it doesn't work that way. I'm not kosher, I'm conservative. 80 00:05:55,153 --> 00:05:56,653 I'm conservative too. 81 00:05:56,736 --> 00:05:59,611 Yeah, well, my conservative doesn't have anything to do with wearing pearls. 82 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,611 Look, I know what you're thinking. Okay? 83 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,153 Why did I let things get this far without talking about this? 84 00:06:05,278 --> 00:06:07,278 Why did I sleep with you? Why did I even kiss you? 85 00:06:07,361 --> 00:06:10,070 - Why did you? - Because I couldn't not kiss you. 86 00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:12,195 Not sleep with you. Not see you. 87 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,653 Believe me, I never thought a shiksa goddess like you 88 00:06:14,736 --> 00:06:16,320 would fall for a putz like me. 89 00:06:18,570 --> 00:06:19,903 You're not a putz. 90 00:06:21,111 --> 00:06:23,111 Do you even know what putz means? 91 00:06:23,236 --> 00:06:25,528 Yes. Shmuck. 92 00:06:26,611 --> 00:06:28,320 Sure you're not Jewish? 93 00:06:32,403 --> 00:06:33,403 Okay. 94 00:06:33,445 --> 00:06:35,695 And from Jewish to Poo-ish. 95 00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:40,111 Um… Miranda. You got a little dootie on your forehead. 96 00:06:40,195 --> 00:06:41,486 What? Where? 97 00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,903 Oh, now you got more. The other side. 98 00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:47,445 Which side? How's it… Well, help! 99 00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:50,486 - It's not funny! Baby wipe me. - Okay. 100 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:53,236 - "Baby wipe me". - Get it off! I did not say it like that. 101 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,695 Just get it off! 102 00:06:54,861 --> 00:06:56,528 - "Baby wipe me". - Oh, yeah? 103 00:06:56,611 --> 00:06:58,570 - Let's see how you like it. You like it? - No, no. 104 00:06:58,653 --> 00:07:00,653 - You want it on your face? - No, Miranda, Miranda, no. 105 00:07:00,736 --> 00:07:02,403 - Mister, mister, on your face. - Knock it off! 106 00:07:02,486 --> 00:07:03,471 Knock it off! 107 00:07:03,486 --> 00:07:05,570 Brady, help! Tell Mommy to stop chasing Daddy. 108 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:08,820 What? 109 00:07:11,445 --> 00:07:12,903 I just don't think it's so fucking funny. 110 00:07:12,986 --> 00:07:14,445 You weren't the one with shit on your face. 111 00:07:14,528 --> 00:07:15,695 You were chasing me. 112 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,070 You know, I don't have time for this. I have to get up early. 113 00:07:19,236 --> 00:07:21,986 I don't even know why you're still here. You dropped off the baby hours ago. 114 00:07:22,070 --> 00:07:25,695 I don't have time to stand around while you read the paper and order food in. 115 00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:28,320 Don't you have a life? 116 00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:30,528 Yeah, I got a life. 117 00:07:33,236 --> 00:07:34,528 Bye, Brady. 118 00:07:41,778 --> 00:07:45,403 - Hey. - I'm in love with Steve. Hold this. 119 00:07:46,445 --> 00:07:49,528 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 120 00:07:50,528 --> 00:07:52,945 Come on, are you seriously telling me you didn't know? 121 00:07:53,028 --> 00:07:55,320 Oh, I knew. I just can't believe you admitted it. 122 00:07:55,403 --> 00:07:57,236 I need a drink. What have you got? 123 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,153 It's 11:30 on a Saturday morning. 124 00:07:59,236 --> 00:08:02,778 Did you not hear me just say I was love with Steve? 125 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,986 I think I got an old bottle of Kahlúa somewhere. 126 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:11,986 Okay. Hold on there, Brady. Mama needs a cocktail. 127 00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,486 Last night we were in the dining room 128 00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:15,528 and we were laughing and all of a sudden, 129 00:08:15,611 --> 00:08:20,028 I looked over at him and I realized we belong together. 130 00:08:22,111 --> 00:08:24,403 - Oh, Miranda. - Yeah. 131 00:08:25,236 --> 00:08:27,403 So I picked a huge fight and threw him out of my apartment. 132 00:08:27,611 --> 00:08:30,361 Good thinking. Okay. 133 00:08:30,570 --> 00:08:33,445 These Triskets have been here since the mid '80s. 134 00:08:33,528 --> 00:08:38,778 I so cannot be in love with Steve. Steve's so is not the guy for me. 135 00:08:39,236 --> 00:08:41,195 Oh… Miranda. 136 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:44,861 You're right. Steve's so is the guy for me. 137 00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:47,861 No, no, I was just asking if Brady can eat crackers yet. 138 00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:51,320 No. How can I have been wrong all these years? 139 00:08:51,528 --> 00:08:55,611 You weren't wrong. It just took you a while to get here. 140 00:08:56,195 --> 00:08:59,611 So, what are you gonna do? 141 00:08:59,695 --> 00:09:02,486 I don't know. I have a lot invested in this relationship. 142 00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:03,653 Plus, we have the baby. 143 00:09:03,736 --> 00:09:05,736 Yeah, plus you said you were in love with him. 144 00:09:06,361 --> 00:09:07,361 Yeah. 145 00:09:08,486 --> 00:09:09,695 So, how are you gonna tell him? 146 00:09:10,778 --> 00:09:15,070 Maybe I should take him somewhere romantic where I can't start a fight? 147 00:09:15,153 --> 00:09:18,570 Oh, my God, Miranda, do you know what this means? 148 00:09:19,236 --> 00:09:21,153 You're asking Steve out on a date. 149 00:09:25,986 --> 00:09:27,361 - Hi, Samantha. - Hi. 150 00:09:27,695 --> 00:09:29,153 - Looking good, Sam. - Hi. 151 00:09:32,028 --> 00:09:33,570 That night as Samantha walked home, 152 00:09:33,653 --> 00:09:36,320 past her friendly neighborhood bar, the Rampole, 153 00:09:36,486 --> 00:09:38,528 she saw something truly upsetting. 154 00:09:47,611 --> 00:09:50,861 Just what we need. Another Wall Street asshole with money. 155 00:10:00,653 --> 00:10:01,861 Hold the door. 156 00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:07,195 Hi. Thanks. 157 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,486 I live here, see? Here are my keys. 158 00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:13,195 Chip Kilkenny. I just moved in. 159 00:10:13,361 --> 00:10:18,028 - Samantha Jones. 3F. - I'm 4F. You live right under me. 160 00:10:18,111 --> 00:10:21,570 That sounds promising. It's quite a car. 161 00:10:23,153 --> 00:10:28,403 I love a nice hummer. Well, good night. 162 00:10:35,695 --> 00:10:38,820 And uptown, in a slightly less obvious maneuver. 163 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:40,403 Oh, I'm close. 164 00:10:40,611 --> 00:10:47,153 Oh, honey. Is this whole Jewish thing really that big a deal? 165 00:10:47,236 --> 00:10:49,903 No. No. Oh, God. 166 00:10:49,986 --> 00:10:54,028 No. Oh! 167 00:10:56,903 --> 00:10:59,278 The next morning, bright and early. 168 00:11:01,111 --> 00:11:03,278 Good morning. 169 00:11:03,945 --> 00:11:05,820 There's a happy face. 170 00:11:06,111 --> 00:11:10,153 I am a happy face. It's a beautiful morning, 171 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,111 and the sun is shining, 172 00:11:12,653 --> 00:11:15,111 and you changed your mind about the Jewish thing. 173 00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:17,945 Whoa, whoa. What? What Jewish thing? When? 174 00:11:18,028 --> 00:11:22,486 Last night. I asked you if it was really that important to you and you said no. 175 00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:23,570 I did? 176 00:11:23,653 --> 00:11:27,653 Yeah. When we were making love, right before you came. 177 00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:29,653 How could you not remember? 178 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:33,528 Charlotte, honey. I can't remember my own name right before I come. 179 00:11:34,153 --> 00:11:35,611 Well, that's what you said. 180 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,236 Asking me to renounce Judaism during sex is a clear manipulation. 181 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,070 Oh, blah-blah-blah. 182 00:11:41,153 --> 00:11:43,945 Just don't understand why is it so important to you? 183 00:11:45,361 --> 00:11:47,653 I promised my mother I would marry a Jew. 184 00:11:48,236 --> 00:11:49,361 Your mother? 185 00:11:49,445 --> 00:11:51,195 Charlotte had had her fill of potential 186 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,111 husbands and their demanding mothers. 187 00:11:53,445 --> 00:11:56,153 Harry's stock suddenly began to plummet. 188 00:11:56,236 --> 00:11:58,820 Yeah, right before she died. 189 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,820 And just like that, it was up again. 190 00:12:02,736 --> 00:12:05,153 I'm very sorry your mother's no longer with us, 191 00:12:05,236 --> 00:12:07,736 because if she met me… 192 00:12:07,903 --> 00:12:10,486 She'd would fall in love with you like I did and not care? 193 00:12:10,570 --> 00:12:12,778 - Mm-hm. - No. Jews don't think like that. 194 00:12:13,945 --> 00:12:16,278 Keeping tradition alive was very important to her. 195 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,820 She lost family in the Holocaust. 196 00:12:20,653 --> 00:12:21,653 What? 197 00:12:23,861 --> 00:12:27,945 Well, now I can't say anything because you've brought up the Holocaust. 198 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,195 Hi, it's me. Leave a message. 199 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:39,653 Hi. It's Jack. Berger. Not Kerouac. 200 00:12:40,028 --> 00:12:41,320 Wanted to clear that up. 201 00:12:41,403 --> 00:12:43,986 So you're probably standing there screening. 202 00:12:44,070 --> 00:12:46,820 Way to play it. I'm a big fan of the screen. 203 00:12:47,028 --> 00:12:49,986 In fact, don't pick up or I'll panic and hang up. 204 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:51,320 Don't pick up. 205 00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:54,361 I'm not ready for actual voice on voice action. 206 00:12:54,736 --> 00:12:59,528 So I'm jumping right in and suggesting dinner and a movie for the big date. 207 00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:02,528 Everybody's really been loving that movie Craig's Room, so… 208 00:13:03,028 --> 00:13:04,820 Why don't we go and hate it? 209 00:13:04,945 --> 00:13:10,028 Here come the movie times. We have 5:15, we have a 7 o'clock. 210 00:13:10,153 --> 00:13:14,070 And he calculated which times and which theatres would be least crowded, 211 00:13:14,153 --> 00:13:18,320 which says "take charge" yet left the restaurant choice to me, which says, 212 00:13:18,611 --> 00:13:19,695 flexible. 213 00:13:19,778 --> 00:13:22,528 All and all, the perfect machine message. 214 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,986 I think Berger and I are gonna be very happy together. 215 00:13:27,445 --> 00:13:29,070 Oh, I love this time before the first date 216 00:13:29,153 --> 00:13:31,778 when you can make statements like that and almost believe them. 217 00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:35,236 - Why all the drama? - Because I really like him. 218 00:13:35,611 --> 00:13:38,070 And you can imagine what that does to a girl. 219 00:13:38,153 --> 00:13:40,653 Got it. Say no more. Really, say no more. 220 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,861 Oh, and then right after he called, I got a message from this other fella, 221 00:13:43,945 --> 00:13:46,236 who I've known for a year suddenly asking me out on a date 222 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,820 which only proves my theory. 223 00:13:47,903 --> 00:13:50,986 The only thing a girl needs to get a date is another date. 224 00:13:51,070 --> 00:13:53,111 - Your stock is up. - And did you say yes? 225 00:13:53,195 --> 00:13:54,486 No. I already have a date. 226 00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:56,570 Which is why you should say yes to the other one. 227 00:13:56,653 --> 00:13:58,945 I think you're putting on a lot of pressure on this Berger date. 228 00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:02,320 Honey, Charlotte's right. You need to do something to take the edge off. 229 00:14:02,403 --> 00:14:04,528 I'm not going on a simu-date. 230 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,278 Carrie, how many new outfits have you bought for this movie? 231 00:14:07,361 --> 00:14:10,695 - Be honest. - None. Six. All returnable. 232 00:14:11,611 --> 00:14:14,528 All right, maybe just a casual coffee to take the edge off Berger. 233 00:14:14,611 --> 00:14:15,736 Exactly. 234 00:14:15,945 --> 00:14:20,195 Later that day I got to thinking about stock market and dating. 235 00:14:20,278 --> 00:14:21,778 Are they really that different? 236 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,736 If you have a bad stock, you could lose your shirt. 237 00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:28,278 If you have a bad date, you could lose your will to live. 238 00:14:28,486 --> 00:14:32,153 And if the date is good, the stakes get even higher. 239 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,361 After weathering all the ups and downs, 240 00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:38,320 you could one day find yourself with nothing. 241 00:14:38,403 --> 00:14:41,986 So, when it comes to finance and dating, 242 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,945 I couldn't help but wonder, 243 00:14:44,403 --> 00:14:46,403 why do we keep investing? 244 00:14:51,445 --> 00:14:53,736 And speaking of high risk investments. 245 00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:07,236 Hey, it's me. I'm not here. Try me at Scout, 957-7297. 246 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,820 Don't forget the 212. 247 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,736 Hi, Steve. Hi. Steve. 248 00:15:14,111 --> 00:15:15,111 Um… 249 00:15:16,278 --> 00:15:18,236 I need to talk to you about something. 250 00:15:18,903 --> 00:15:21,861 How about we do it over dinner? How's tomorrow night? 251 00:15:22,236 --> 00:15:23,820 Magda could sit with Brady. 252 00:15:24,403 --> 00:15:26,695 Let me know. Bye. 253 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,695 Oh, it's Miranda. And… bye. 254 00:15:32,195 --> 00:15:36,320 Miranda feared it was possibly the most imperfect machine message ever. 255 00:15:38,278 --> 00:15:41,403 And Samantha decided to say it with a basket. 256 00:15:50,278 --> 00:15:51,778 Welcome Wagon. 257 00:15:52,028 --> 00:15:55,736 Hi. Excuse the towel. I was just in the shower. 258 00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,820 I brought you a basket filled with goodies 259 00:15:57,903 --> 00:15:59,861 to acquaint you with your new neighborhood. 260 00:15:59,945 --> 00:16:03,070 Cheese, prosciutto, condoms, handcuffs. 261 00:16:03,611 --> 00:16:05,820 - Handcuffs? - From the bar next door. 262 00:16:07,153 --> 00:16:08,153 Enjoy. 263 00:16:08,861 --> 00:16:11,820 If I reach for that, my towel will fall. 264 00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:13,361 I'm no fool. 265 00:16:21,736 --> 00:16:25,070 A little while later, Samantha blew Chip, stockbroker. 266 00:16:25,945 --> 00:16:29,570 Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. 267 00:16:30,111 --> 00:16:32,736 Now that's what I call eating in. 268 00:16:34,111 --> 00:16:38,820 Look, I never do this but here's a tip. 269 00:16:39,403 --> 00:16:43,528 Elan Pharmaceuticals is gonna go straight through the roof. 270 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:45,778 Elan Pharmaceuticals. 271 00:16:49,195 --> 00:16:51,570 - Thanks. - No, thank you. 272 00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:54,153 That was the best effing head of my life. 273 00:16:56,695 --> 00:16:59,070 Just like that, their mutual fun, 274 00:16:59,236 --> 00:17:01,111 turned into mutual funds. 275 00:17:02,445 --> 00:17:06,153 Later that week, I met graphic designer, Willie Applegate 276 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,528 for a late afternoon simu-date. 277 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:12,445 - It's a cute place. - Yeah, I hope it's okay. I didn't know. 278 00:17:12,528 --> 00:17:15,486 But I figured, you know, you can't go wrong with a garden, right? 279 00:17:15,570 --> 00:17:18,361 - Yeah, it's great. - I hope it's okay, yeah. 280 00:17:18,445 --> 00:17:21,153 I didn't know. I just said that. 281 00:17:22,278 --> 00:17:25,070 It suddenly became clear that a simu-date for me 282 00:17:25,153 --> 00:17:26,945 was a first date for him. 283 00:17:28,236 --> 00:17:31,611 Are you looking at my sty? 284 00:17:31,945 --> 00:17:33,445 - Excuse me? - My sty. 285 00:17:33,528 --> 00:17:36,611 I have a sty. See, right here. 286 00:17:36,695 --> 00:17:40,570 I was gonna cancel, but then I thought, "Well, maybe she won't even notice it." 287 00:17:40,736 --> 00:17:42,028 And I… I didn't even… 288 00:17:42,445 --> 00:17:45,153 - No, I wasn't looking at it. - Oh, oh, that's good. 289 00:17:45,236 --> 00:17:47,403 Oh. Oh! 290 00:17:47,486 --> 00:17:49,361 Okay. Wha… what… 291 00:17:49,445 --> 00:17:51,278 - Oh! - What was that? 292 00:17:51,611 --> 00:17:53,861 Have you ever seen anything like that? 293 00:17:53,986 --> 00:17:55,611 No, I have never. 294 00:17:55,695 --> 00:17:57,695 This is a bad choice of place. I'm sorry. 295 00:17:57,778 --> 00:17:59,903 No, it's fine. It's fun. 296 00:17:59,986 --> 00:18:02,986 It's like cappuccino, wilderness safari. 297 00:18:07,111 --> 00:18:11,611 Ouch. Balsamic vinegar in my sty. Ouch. 298 00:18:11,695 --> 00:18:14,945 Oh, God, here. Here. Here you go. 299 00:18:15,778 --> 00:18:17,361 - Ow. - Thanks. 300 00:18:17,486 --> 00:18:19,361 Could this go any worse? 301 00:18:19,986 --> 00:18:20,846 Oh. 302 00:18:20,861 --> 00:18:23,236 What the… what the fuck? 303 00:18:23,361 --> 00:18:25,445 - Whoa! - Oh! 304 00:18:25,528 --> 00:18:29,028 I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. 305 00:18:29,111 --> 00:18:32,486 It was a sudden crash no analyst had seen coming. 306 00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,528 And in yet another type of market. 307 00:18:35,611 --> 00:18:39,236 Well, I hope you're happy. Now I'm twice as nervous about my Berger date. 308 00:18:39,528 --> 00:18:42,028 Caring too much is like a disaster magnet. 309 00:18:42,528 --> 00:18:43,528 Poor guy. 310 00:18:43,570 --> 00:18:46,528 Can you catch a sty helping someone up from gravel? 311 00:18:46,611 --> 00:18:48,236 Where's the homeopathic section? 312 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,361 Maybe they make something called sty-be-gone. 313 00:18:50,611 --> 00:18:53,736 Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor converted to Judaism for Eddie Fisher? 314 00:18:54,028 --> 00:18:57,153 I'm thrown by the change of topic but I do appreciate the trivia. 315 00:18:57,236 --> 00:18:59,403 I'm reading her book My Love Affair with Jewelry. 316 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,486 Not surprising. 317 00:19:00,736 --> 00:19:03,695 And she changed her religion for the man she loves. 318 00:19:03,778 --> 00:19:05,695 Yeah, and a big old, honking piece of jewelry. 319 00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:09,445 - Oh, don't be so cynical. - Sorry, it's my potential sty talking. 320 00:19:09,653 --> 00:19:11,986 Love… she did it for love. 321 00:19:12,445 --> 00:19:15,070 Are you thinking of pulling an Elizabeth Taylor? 322 00:19:15,653 --> 00:19:17,111 I need more information. 323 00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:19,236 There's more to being a Jew than jewelry. 324 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:20,861 Wise words. I'll meet you at the checkout. 325 00:19:20,945 --> 00:19:21,945 Okay. 326 00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,278 Ah. 327 00:19:33,445 --> 00:19:37,320 Charlotte wondered just how far she would go for her true love. 328 00:19:42,403 --> 00:19:45,945 Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor converted to Judaism for Eddie Fisher? 329 00:19:47,278 --> 00:19:50,653 No, don't get too excited. We're just trading information here. 330 00:19:50,736 --> 00:19:53,861 Okay, and from a not excited place I ask, 331 00:19:53,945 --> 00:19:55,820 is this something you might consider? 332 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:59,611 I'm just trying to understand. What's so special about being a Jew? 333 00:19:59,736 --> 00:20:02,236 - I feel like I'm on a game show. - I'm serious. 334 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,278 I mean, If this is really your bottom line, 335 00:20:04,361 --> 00:20:07,695 then you're gonna have to try and give me a reason, aside from your mother, 336 00:20:08,111 --> 00:20:09,111 that I can relate to. 337 00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:14,820 Well… 338 00:20:15,903 --> 00:20:17,403 If we were to get married… 339 00:20:17,736 --> 00:20:20,153 Now, we're just trading information here. 340 00:20:21,528 --> 00:20:24,028 I would want our children to be raised Jewish. 341 00:20:24,653 --> 00:20:29,361 Charlotte realized, it was time to reveal to Harry, her bottom line. 342 00:20:31,361 --> 00:20:36,028 Well if that's really the reason then I have to tell you something. 343 00:20:39,236 --> 00:20:40,236 I… 344 00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:45,278 I may not be able to give you children. 345 00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:50,320 I'm challenged in the reproductive area. 346 00:20:51,028 --> 00:20:54,778 It's not hopeless, but it's difficult. 347 00:20:56,945 --> 00:21:00,653 I guess I should have brought it up sooner, but I never thought we'd even… 348 00:21:01,611 --> 00:21:04,903 - I understand if you… - Shh. Charlotte. 349 00:21:06,903 --> 00:21:08,153 I love you. 350 00:21:08,945 --> 00:21:12,820 You're the most wonderful thing that could happen to a shmuck like me. 351 00:21:13,945 --> 00:21:15,778 You're not a shmuck. 352 00:21:16,611 --> 00:21:20,570 You're a putz. Seriously, Harry. 353 00:21:21,653 --> 00:21:23,236 You want a family and… 354 00:21:26,736 --> 00:21:28,611 What if I couldn't give that to you? 355 00:21:29,861 --> 00:21:31,445 We'll adopt or something. 356 00:21:32,611 --> 00:21:35,445 - But they wouldn't be your own. - Eh. 357 00:21:37,236 --> 00:21:38,486 What are you gonna do? 358 00:21:38,986 --> 00:21:43,195 Charlotte York was deeply touched by Harry Goldenblatt's humor, 359 00:21:43,361 --> 00:21:45,570 compassion, and acceptance. 360 00:21:45,986 --> 00:21:49,736 "If this is Jewish," she thought, "That's worth looking into." 361 00:21:50,278 --> 00:21:53,278 Meanwhile, downtown, Samantha had moved her neighbor 362 00:21:53,361 --> 00:21:56,111 from stocks and bonds to stockings and bondage. 363 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,236 I'm bad. 364 00:21:58,945 --> 00:22:00,528 Go away, I'm busy. 365 00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:05,528 - Ms. Jones. - Juan. 366 00:22:08,195 --> 00:22:09,403 Who the fuck are you? 367 00:22:09,778 --> 00:22:13,320 FBI. Get dressed. You're under arrest for insider trading. 368 00:22:13,403 --> 00:22:15,986 Turns out, Chip Kilkenny was quite the ladies' man. 369 00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:19,236 And every time a woman went down, the Dow went up. 370 00:22:19,361 --> 00:22:21,695 Ma'am, can you undo your cuffs, so we can use ours? 371 00:22:21,861 --> 00:22:25,736 Surely. All the good ones are getting arrested. 372 00:22:30,528 --> 00:22:32,278 And at a romantic restaurant, 373 00:22:32,361 --> 00:22:36,695 a 37-year-old, single mother found herself on a first date. 374 00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:41,903 You look pretty. You got a date later? 375 00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:44,445 No, it's just the dress. 376 00:22:46,486 --> 00:22:49,778 Jeez Louise, it's dark in here. I can barely read my menu. 377 00:22:49,861 --> 00:22:51,861 We need another candle or something. 378 00:22:52,153 --> 00:22:53,736 I think it's kind of nice. 379 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,611 Um, Steve. 380 00:22:58,528 --> 00:22:59,528 Yeah? 381 00:22:59,695 --> 00:23:03,486 I asked you here because I wanted to explain 382 00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:05,070 why I picked a fight with you last week. 383 00:23:05,195 --> 00:23:08,278 Miranda, I know you. And I know why you picked a fight with me. 384 00:23:09,486 --> 00:23:11,403 - You do? - Yeah. 385 00:23:12,028 --> 00:23:14,320 You're upset because I'm hanging around too much. 386 00:23:14,403 --> 00:23:15,778 You think I'm getting too close. 387 00:23:16,153 --> 00:23:20,153 But you don't have to worry because I just started seeing someone else 388 00:23:20,236 --> 00:23:25,153 and it's going really good, so please, relax. 389 00:23:26,361 --> 00:23:27,945 I'm not in love with you anymore. 390 00:23:38,236 --> 00:23:41,570 All that stuff I said to you about Steve never happened. 391 00:23:41,653 --> 00:23:44,236 Don't mention it to anyone. Don't think about it. 392 00:23:44,570 --> 00:23:47,903 Don't even so much as give me a look like you might be thinking about it. 393 00:23:48,028 --> 00:23:51,903 Like that. That look. I can't ever, never see that look again. 394 00:23:51,986 --> 00:23:53,028 Will you please calm down? 395 00:23:53,111 --> 00:23:55,903 I think you're overreacting to that thing that never happened. 396 00:23:55,986 --> 00:23:58,653 If you think I'm overreacting here, you should be inside my head. 397 00:23:58,736 --> 00:24:01,153 Miranda, I have to say this next thing 398 00:24:01,236 --> 00:24:04,278 but I will play along and not look at you while I say it. 399 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:08,320 Maybe if you had told Steve anyway… 400 00:24:08,403 --> 00:24:11,778 Carrie, I swear to God I love you but I will have to kill you. 401 00:24:12,361 --> 00:24:15,570 Brady, come on. Work with mommy here. Please. 402 00:24:15,653 --> 00:24:18,653 I'm sorry but I'm looking and I'm talking. 403 00:24:19,153 --> 00:24:22,820 This is your life. You two have a baby together. 404 00:24:22,903 --> 00:24:25,820 - It's not high school. - Isn't that Berger? 405 00:24:29,986 --> 00:24:32,778 - Oh, God, I look like shit. - You don't look like shit. 406 00:24:32,861 --> 00:24:35,361 I look like shit. This is not my perfect outfit. 407 00:24:36,486 --> 00:24:37,986 - Are you leaving? - Bye. 408 00:24:39,361 --> 00:24:41,028 Oh, God, shit. 409 00:24:54,153 --> 00:24:56,986 I was just entering the safety zone when… 410 00:24:58,445 --> 00:24:59,486 there he was. 411 00:24:59,695 --> 00:25:03,278 My emotional equivalent to the big crash of '29. 412 00:25:03,820 --> 00:25:04,820 Aidan. 413 00:25:18,903 --> 00:25:20,278 - Hey. - Hey. 414 00:25:23,736 --> 00:25:25,528 - Look at you. - Look at you. 415 00:25:25,861 --> 00:25:29,028 - I had a baby. - I have a date. 416 00:25:31,361 --> 00:25:32,611 Well, that's wonderful. 417 00:25:33,111 --> 00:25:34,111 Is this him? 418 00:25:34,278 --> 00:25:36,861 No, this isn't him. This is a stunt baby. 419 00:25:37,653 --> 00:25:40,403 Yeah, it's him. This is the man, Tate. 420 00:25:40,986 --> 00:25:43,153 I call him Tater 'cause he looks like one, you know. 421 00:25:43,570 --> 00:25:44,820 No hair, big eyes. 422 00:25:45,486 --> 00:25:47,611 Yeah. He's cool. Aren't you, Tate? 423 00:25:48,528 --> 00:25:49,861 So, where are you running to? 424 00:25:50,236 --> 00:25:51,653 Uh, home. 425 00:25:52,945 --> 00:25:54,736 So things are good? They look good. 426 00:25:54,820 --> 00:25:58,153 I'm just hanging out in front of this fabric store waiting for Tate's mom. 427 00:25:58,611 --> 00:26:01,695 All right, don't laugh. I married another furniture designer. 428 00:26:01,778 --> 00:26:03,445 - Really? - Yeah. What are you gonna do? 429 00:26:03,570 --> 00:26:05,403 Yep. You can't fight city hall. 430 00:26:06,195 --> 00:26:08,236 Cathy. She's great. 431 00:26:08,861 --> 00:26:09,986 You wanna come and meet her? 432 00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:11,653 Oh, another time. 433 00:26:12,111 --> 00:26:13,528 I really have to run. 434 00:26:13,903 --> 00:26:15,986 - Okay. - Bye, Tate. 435 00:26:20,820 --> 00:26:22,320 Oh, God, Aidan. 436 00:26:26,236 --> 00:26:27,403 It's good to see you. 437 00:26:28,986 --> 00:26:29,986 You, too. 438 00:26:32,403 --> 00:26:34,945 We should get together and have coffee sometime and catch up. 439 00:26:35,195 --> 00:26:37,986 Yeah, great. Okay, we'll do that. 440 00:26:40,486 --> 00:26:41,486 Bye. 441 00:26:42,736 --> 00:26:45,736 There is the type of date you can't wait to keep. 442 00:26:46,153 --> 00:26:49,570 And the type of date you both know… 443 00:26:49,820 --> 00:26:51,028 you'll never keep. 444 00:27:10,361 --> 00:27:11,820 A block later, I realized 445 00:27:11,986 --> 00:27:16,028 if Aidan and I could survive that huge a crash and both get out alive, 446 00:27:16,403 --> 00:27:18,695 there was nothing I could do on a first date 447 00:27:19,028 --> 00:27:20,361 I couldn't bounce back from. 448 00:27:20,528 --> 00:27:22,278 Hey, Berger, it's Carrie. 449 00:27:22,528 --> 00:27:24,611 - Hey! - Yeah, hi, listen. 450 00:27:24,861 --> 00:27:27,945 I'm standing outside the Sony Theater near Lincoln Center 451 00:27:28,153 --> 00:27:30,028 and Craig's Room starts in half an hour. 452 00:27:30,361 --> 00:27:32,653 And there are no lines. Can you go now? 453 00:27:33,028 --> 00:27:35,403 That's so weird. I'm right in that neighborhood. 454 00:27:36,278 --> 00:27:38,611 Really? Huh, must be fate. 455 00:27:38,778 --> 00:27:40,945 - I'll be right there. - Okay. Bye. 456 00:27:47,445 --> 00:27:50,111 - Hey! - Well, this blows. 457 00:27:51,153 --> 00:27:53,445 I had my special outfit all picked out for tonight. 458 00:27:53,528 --> 00:27:54,653 I got the tickets. 459 00:27:54,736 --> 00:27:57,278 All right, then I got the popcorn and the assorted chocolate goodies. 460 00:27:57,403 --> 00:28:00,070 - Are you a candy gal? - I am the candy gal. 461 00:28:00,153 --> 00:28:02,153 - Oh, 'cause I'm the candy man. - Yeah? 462 00:28:02,278 --> 00:28:04,486 No, I am serious. Sammy Davis? Ripped me off. 463 00:28:04,653 --> 00:28:07,570 Yeah, Sammy Davis. You don't feel the need to use the Junior? 464 00:28:07,736 --> 00:28:09,361 No, not at all. 465 00:28:09,611 --> 00:28:10,695 - Really? - Nope. 466 00:28:10,861 --> 00:28:11,861 Don't forget… 467 00:28:14,111 --> 00:28:16,320 And by close of Wall Street that day, 468 00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:20,945 the NASDAQ was down, but amazingly, our stock was still up.