1 00:00:47,011 --> 00:00:48,470 In New York City, 2 00:00:48,553 --> 00:00:51,428 where no good event gets going before 9:00 pm, 3 00:00:51,511 --> 00:00:52,845 it's a very bad sign 4 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:56,595 when you get invited to something that starts at 9:00 a.m. 5 00:00:58,386 --> 00:00:59,761 What're you gonna say? 6 00:00:59,845 --> 00:01:02,345 I'm just gonna tell them that before 10:00 a.m., 7 00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:04,720 as far as I'm concerned, everybody's guilty. 8 00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:07,303 I figure I'll be out in no time. 9 00:01:07,386 --> 00:01:08,553 Well, as long as I'm down here 10 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,261 I'm gonna head over to J&R to look at some computer shit. 11 00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:13,470 When you get off, call me. We'll meet up, do something. 12 00:01:13,553 --> 00:01:15,970 Well, aren't you gonna write today? 13 00:01:16,136 --> 00:01:17,178 What does that mean? 14 00:01:17,261 --> 00:01:19,678 It doesn't mean anything. It was just a question. 15 00:01:19,761 --> 00:01:21,595 What did you think I was gonna do? 16 00:01:21,678 --> 00:01:23,553 Sit on my ass all day and slack off? 17 00:01:23,636 --> 00:01:26,053 No. I didn't mean it like that. 18 00:01:28,095 --> 00:01:29,636 Look, it's early. 19 00:01:30,803 --> 00:01:32,595 Right. It's early. 20 00:01:32,678 --> 00:01:34,303 And it's also a very bad sign 21 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,720 when a couple is fighting before 9:00 a.m. 22 00:01:37,803 --> 00:01:41,053 You know what we need right now? A Hollywood kiss. 23 00:01:41,136 --> 00:01:43,928 Here? We have coffee. 24 00:01:47,303 --> 00:01:49,678 Come on. Hollywood kiss. 25 00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:56,220 Better? 26 00:01:57,220 --> 00:01:58,511 Better. 27 00:02:01,011 --> 00:02:02,303 I'll see ya later. Love you. 28 00:02:02,386 --> 00:02:04,011 I love you, too. Wish me luck. 29 00:02:05,761 --> 00:02:07,136 Hang 'em high. 30 00:02:12,470 --> 00:02:14,511 Hi. I hope you can help me with this. 31 00:02:14,595 --> 00:02:18,595 I feel terrible, but I don't think that I can serve jury duty today. 32 00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:22,095 You see, I work for myself as a freelance writer 33 00:02:22,178 --> 00:02:24,178 and no one can cover for me. 34 00:02:27,470 --> 00:02:29,136 Welcome to jury duty. 35 00:02:33,095 --> 00:02:37,428 Meanwhile, another woman was having trouble juggling her duties. 36 00:02:37,511 --> 00:02:40,845 - Oh, is it 8:30 already? - Good morning. 37 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,220 Fuck! 38 00:02:42,886 --> 00:02:44,136 Don't say F. 39 00:02:44,220 --> 00:02:48,511 I'm, uh… I'm gonna be a little late tonight, 40 00:02:48,595 --> 00:02:50,345 - work stuff. - Yeah, come here, baby. 41 00:02:50,428 --> 00:02:52,428 Yes, darling. Oops. Turn around. 42 00:02:52,511 --> 00:02:53,845 Oh… 43 00:02:53,928 --> 00:02:55,678 It's okay, Brady. 44 00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,928 Mommy's just gotta go to work. 45 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,761 Boy is fine. 46 00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:03,345 He just misses mama. Yes, baby. 47 00:03:05,595 --> 00:03:08,011 Oh, look at that, yes. 48 00:03:08,095 --> 00:03:09,178 Say bye-bye. 49 00:03:09,261 --> 00:03:10,761 Bye-bye, Mommy. 50 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:11,886 No, no, it's nothing… 51 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:14,261 - Bye-bye, Brady. - No, no. It's all right… 52 00:03:14,345 --> 00:03:15,803 Along with her coffee, 53 00:03:15,886 --> 00:03:19,220 feeling guilty had become a part of Miranda's daily routine. 54 00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:22,220 Let me help you, darling. 55 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:23,511 Thanks, Lenore. 56 00:03:23,845 --> 00:03:27,053 You have done such a wonderful job with this event. 57 00:03:27,136 --> 00:03:29,011 - Macaroons on the outside, dear. - Oh. 58 00:03:29,095 --> 00:03:30,720 - I just hope people enjoy it. - Oh. 59 00:03:30,803 --> 00:03:32,803 I'm sure they will. 60 00:03:32,886 --> 00:03:35,053 Charlotte had been guilted into joining 61 00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:37,011 the Synagogue's Sisterhood Society. 62 00:03:37,095 --> 00:03:40,511 Now, I know since Harry… pah-pah-pah… 63 00:03:40,886 --> 00:03:42,595 you've been coming to Temple alone. 64 00:03:42,678 --> 00:03:44,845 The break-up was bad news for you. 65 00:03:44,928 --> 00:03:49,178 But, good news for me. Hence, good news for you. 66 00:03:49,261 --> 00:03:51,845 Lenore, what are you saying over there? 67 00:03:52,345 --> 00:03:54,220 I have someone for you. 68 00:03:54,303 --> 00:03:57,428 Now, I know, I don't look old enough to have a son your age, 69 00:03:57,511 --> 00:03:58,720 but I do. 70 00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:01,011 - Mmm… - Charlotte, darling. 71 00:04:01,136 --> 00:04:04,761 I have two single sons, both perfect for you. 72 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,136 Uh-uh-uh, Barbara, I told you. 73 00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:09,053 I wanted to fix her up with my David. 74 00:04:10,845 --> 00:04:13,095 Charlotte may have been there to arrange the cookies, 75 00:04:13,178 --> 00:04:17,261 but Barbara, Elaine and Lenore were there to arrange her next marriage. 76 00:04:17,345 --> 00:04:20,220 Meanwhile, Samantha had used her pushiness 77 00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:23,553 to parlay her new man's hit off-Broadway show 78 00:04:23,636 --> 00:04:25,928 into a hot on-Broadway poster. 79 00:04:26,011 --> 00:04:27,386 Fuck me. 80 00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:29,386 Well, that's the first thing every woman in town 81 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,136 will be saying after she sees it. 82 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:32,470 It's huge. 83 00:04:32,553 --> 00:04:34,136 And that's the second. 84 00:04:34,345 --> 00:04:37,845 And honey, I'm not even sure the poster does you justice. 85 00:04:37,928 --> 00:04:40,595 Come on, my dick's like three stories long. 86 00:04:40,678 --> 00:04:43,720 The way God and Madison Avenue intended. 87 00:04:46,261 --> 00:04:48,803 Sometimes, when you're sitting on a jury, 88 00:04:48,886 --> 00:04:52,470 it may seem as if all you're doing is a lot of waiting around, 89 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,428 but to the contrary. 90 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,345 The catalyst for the resolution of the lawsuit 91 00:04:56,428 --> 00:04:59,470 is the fact that you were there, ready to hear the evidence 92 00:04:59,553 --> 00:05:00,720 and render a verdict. 93 00:05:00,803 --> 00:05:03,011 You are not just sitting around, 94 00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:07,636 but rather playing an indispensable role in our justice system. 95 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,261 But now, let's take a look at the flow of a typical trial. 96 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:14,470 Whether you're serving on a civil or criminal trial, 97 00:05:14,553 --> 00:05:16,636 there's a general procedure that is followed. 98 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,053 You may hear opening statements by the opposing attorneys 99 00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:22,636 each presenting their sides of the dispute, 100 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,095 this is not evidence… 101 00:05:25,178 --> 00:05:26,511 It's just so weird. 102 00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:29,636 I mean, a mango isn't even a fruit you can bite into. 103 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:34,095 I do believe it is the oddest thing you can pull out of a briefcase. 104 00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:36,053 - Except for a pineapple. - Oh. 105 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,678 The moment he pulls out a pineapple, 106 00:05:37,761 --> 00:05:39,428 - I want you to call me. - Okay. 107 00:05:40,095 --> 00:05:41,095 Thank you. 108 00:05:42,761 --> 00:05:44,303 Ooh. 109 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,095 Charlotte! What are you doing here? 110 00:05:48,303 --> 00:05:49,553 Why are we hiding? 111 00:05:49,636 --> 00:05:51,595 I am on the worst date of my life. 112 00:05:51,678 --> 00:05:54,178 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 113 00:05:54,261 --> 00:05:57,470 This woman from the temple set me up with her son and he's awful. 114 00:05:57,553 --> 00:05:58,761 You have to help me. 115 00:05:58,845 --> 00:06:00,886 - Okay. - Call me on your cell phone, 116 00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:03,845 tell me something bad happened and then I'll rush out. 117 00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,136 Okay, then when the guy leaves, we'll call you, 118 00:06:05,261 --> 00:06:06,261 you'll come back and eat with us. 119 00:06:06,303 --> 00:06:07,678 - Yes! Okay! - Okay. 120 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,636 We've been dating a long time. We have contingency plans. 121 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,011 Uh, I asked for more bread, 122 00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:22,803 but they haven't brought it yet. 123 00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:25,553 Okay. 124 00:06:29,303 --> 00:06:31,595 Oh, I'm sorry, I wouldn't normally get that, 125 00:06:31,678 --> 00:06:33,928 but maybe something bad happened. 126 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:37,803 - Hello? - Hey, Charlotte, 127 00:06:37,886 --> 00:06:38,886 it's me, something bad happened. 128 00:06:38,970 --> 00:06:40,928 Something bad happened? 129 00:06:42,553 --> 00:06:43,970 I knew it was gonna be terrible. 130 00:06:44,053 --> 00:06:45,803 The man brought me carnations! 131 00:06:45,886 --> 00:06:47,386 - I see. - Wait, hold up. 132 00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:50,720 The man brought you flowers. What an asshole. 133 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,511 Not flowers, carnations! 134 00:06:52,595 --> 00:06:53,928 What's so wrong with carnations? 135 00:06:54,011 --> 00:06:55,636 They're filler flowers. 136 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,511 Would you dump a guy if he brought you carnations? 137 00:06:57,595 --> 00:06:59,970 Me? No, but I happen to like carnations, 138 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,053 especially the pink ones. 139 00:07:01,095 --> 00:07:03,220 In fact, I think they're making a comeback. 140 00:07:03,303 --> 00:07:05,928 I would, however, throw away a guy for wearing docksiders, 141 00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:07,470 or topsiders, or any of the above. 142 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,220 No, those are cute. 143 00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,511 So basically guys are just fucked? 144 00:07:11,595 --> 00:07:12,720 No, that's not true. 145 00:07:12,803 --> 00:07:14,553 None of that matters with the right guy. 146 00:07:14,636 --> 00:07:17,803 Harry was bald and he talked with his mouth full. 147 00:07:18,845 --> 00:07:19,928 But I loved him anyway. 148 00:07:20,011 --> 00:07:21,928 Right, because he didn't bring you filler flowers. 149 00:07:22,011 --> 00:07:24,511 No, because I loved him. 150 00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:27,011 Of course you did, sweetie. Don't say that to her. 151 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,803 I'm sorry, I was just trying to be funny. 152 00:07:29,886 --> 00:07:31,345 Well, it wasn't funny. 153 00:07:32,178 --> 00:07:34,053 Yeah, it wasn't funny, I'm a slacker, 154 00:07:34,136 --> 00:07:37,220 I guess if I were wearing topsiders I wouldn't be here. 155 00:07:39,095 --> 00:07:41,470 Good evening. You folks ready to order? 156 00:07:41,553 --> 00:07:43,095 Um, yes… 157 00:07:43,178 --> 00:07:46,428 Let's see, I'm gonna start with the goat cheese salad 158 00:07:46,511 --> 00:07:47,928 and then I'll have the tuna. 159 00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:51,886 But, sir, can you make sure there's no parsley on anything? 160 00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,095 I'm just really allergic. 161 00:07:53,178 --> 00:07:54,970 Not even a sprinkling of it on the plate. 162 00:07:55,053 --> 00:07:57,595 - Yeah, he got it, no parsley. - And, can… 163 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,886 Actually, can… can you ask the chef 164 00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:02,053 if the marinade for the tuna has parsley in it? 165 00:08:02,136 --> 00:08:04,470 Because if it does, I should probably change my order. 166 00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:06,095 - I'll go check. - Thank you. 167 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,720 You're not allergic. 168 00:08:08,428 --> 00:08:10,011 - What? - You're not allergic. 169 00:08:10,095 --> 00:08:11,178 I don't like it. 170 00:08:11,261 --> 00:08:12,386 Why don't you just say that? 171 00:08:12,470 --> 00:08:14,011 Because when I say that, 172 00:08:14,095 --> 00:08:16,845 parsley somehow magically appears on the plate 173 00:08:16,928 --> 00:08:19,345 and I feel bad because I have to send it back. 174 00:08:19,428 --> 00:08:22,136 You didn't even order something that usually comes with parsley. 175 00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:23,678 It comes with everything. 176 00:08:23,761 --> 00:08:25,511 You know what, guys, I actually have to… 177 00:08:25,595 --> 00:08:27,595 I… I totally forgot, I… 178 00:08:27,678 --> 00:08:30,511 I have to… go. 179 00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:32,303 Bye. 180 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:36,595 Charlotte decided to leave her second bad date of the night. 181 00:08:42,053 --> 00:08:47,011 You can just drop us at the corner of 73rd and Madison. Thanks. 182 00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:49,011 Well, actually can you go around? 183 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:52,386 It's 73rd between Park and Madison, thank you. 184 00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:55,220 I'm in heels. 185 00:09:00,136 --> 00:09:02,928 I can't believe you put me down in front of your friend. 186 00:09:03,595 --> 00:09:05,136 I didn't put you down. 187 00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:07,011 Okay, great… 188 00:09:07,095 --> 00:09:09,220 Now you're gonna tell me what I feel? 189 00:09:09,303 --> 00:09:11,220 I'm not telling you what you feel. 190 00:09:11,303 --> 00:09:13,428 Ah… here we go again. 191 00:09:15,803 --> 00:09:17,136 What's going on with us? 192 00:09:18,761 --> 00:09:20,678 When did you stop being on my side? 193 00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,178 When did you stop being on my side? 194 00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:32,511 This isn't working. 195 00:09:32,595 --> 00:09:35,095 You're right, I think we should take a break. 196 00:09:35,678 --> 00:09:36,761 Are you serious? 197 00:09:36,845 --> 00:09:38,636 I think we need some time apart. 198 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:41,845 Well, I know things haven't been great, but… 199 00:09:44,678 --> 00:09:46,470 How long have you been thinking about this? 200 00:09:46,845 --> 00:09:48,178 Right up here is fine. 201 00:09:48,261 --> 00:09:50,178 The third brownstone on the right. 202 00:09:57,636 --> 00:10:00,261 No, actually wait. There's gonna be two stops. 203 00:10:00,761 --> 00:10:03,470 Wait, you want to take the break starting now? 204 00:10:03,761 --> 00:10:05,178 I thought you would at least come up. 205 00:10:05,261 --> 00:10:08,720 - We need to talk. - No. I don't need to talk. 206 00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:11,011 Okay, I need some time to think. 207 00:10:11,636 --> 00:10:13,053 Well, how much time? 208 00:10:14,011 --> 00:10:15,178 About a week. 209 00:10:15,678 --> 00:10:17,345 I'm gonna go out to my Hamptons' house, 210 00:10:17,428 --> 00:10:19,053 I just need some distance. 211 00:10:20,178 --> 00:10:21,428 Sort through stuff. 212 00:10:21,511 --> 00:10:22,803 Is that okay? 213 00:10:22,886 --> 00:10:23,788 What? 214 00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:27,886 I'm supposed to decide what I feel about this with the meter running? 215 00:10:30,636 --> 00:10:32,261 Yeah, okay, go. 216 00:10:33,011 --> 00:10:34,720 I'll call you when I get back. 217 00:10:39,928 --> 00:10:41,886 Well, thanks for dinner! 218 00:10:51,595 --> 00:10:54,261 I knew we were having problems, but a break? 219 00:10:54,345 --> 00:10:57,428 What am I, some horrible job he needs to get away from? 220 00:10:57,511 --> 00:10:59,178 A break isn't always a bad thing. 221 00:10:59,261 --> 00:11:01,886 Oh, come on! It's a hop, skip, and a week from a break up. 222 00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:03,470 Or it's the thing that saves you 223 00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:05,803 from saying the things that you wish you could take back, 224 00:11:05,886 --> 00:11:06,886 but you can't. 225 00:11:07,011 --> 00:11:08,678 If Harry and I had taken a break, 226 00:11:08,761 --> 00:11:10,886 then maybe I wouldn't be out on blind dates again. 227 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,886 Hey, remember when a break was a good thing? 228 00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:15,136 Spring break, coffee break. 229 00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:18,386 Now it's break up, break down. 230 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,886 They keep getting worse. What's next? 231 00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:22,803 - Hip break. - You know what I think? 232 00:11:22,886 --> 00:11:25,511 I think, don't do that. 233 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,720 Do what? 234 00:11:29,178 --> 00:11:31,511 Well, I'm sorry, I'm upset. 235 00:11:31,595 --> 00:11:32,720 Well, don't be. 236 00:11:32,803 --> 00:11:35,095 You'll be even more upset when your face is all lined. 237 00:11:35,845 --> 00:11:39,761 As far as I'm concerned, the test of a good relationship is: 238 00:11:39,845 --> 00:11:41,303 Are you like this? 239 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,678 Or like this? 240 00:11:44,845 --> 00:11:47,011 That is the test of a good relationship? 241 00:11:47,095 --> 00:11:49,220 - Mmm-hmm. - Or a good dermatologist. 242 00:11:49,303 --> 00:11:50,246 Make fun. 243 00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:51,928 But a bump in the road is never good. 244 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:55,053 And you shouldn't bother staying around to find out how not good. 245 00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:56,595 Well, it's not all frowns. 246 00:11:56,678 --> 00:11:58,428 Berger and I have a lot of good stuff too. 247 00:11:58,511 --> 00:11:59,803 It's complicated. 248 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,303 Complicated by the fact that the man had to go all the way 249 00:12:02,386 --> 00:12:04,136 to Long Island to think this through. 250 00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:06,428 Maybe you can send him a postcard. 251 00:12:08,011 --> 00:12:12,011 That is the most blatant agenda-pushing I have ever seen. 252 00:12:12,095 --> 00:12:14,095 - And the most effective. - Wow! 253 00:12:14,178 --> 00:12:16,511 I just wish I knew what he was thinking. 254 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:19,595 Oh, who cares? Look at his pecs. 255 00:12:20,303 --> 00:12:21,386 I meant Berger. 256 00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:23,928 It's so frustrating. What am I supposed to do? 257 00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:26,636 Just sit around waiting to find out whether he chooses me? 258 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,928 I'm doing that all day at jury duty and it sucks. 259 00:12:30,011 --> 00:12:31,261 Here's an idea! 260 00:12:31,345 --> 00:12:33,970 Why don't you use this time to think about what you want? 261 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,386 Remember you? 262 00:12:35,470 --> 00:12:36,845 What do you want? 263 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:47,178 The next day, I got to thinking about trials and trial separations. 264 00:12:47,261 --> 00:12:50,386 In a courtroom, a jury decides the outcome. 265 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:54,428 In a relationship, the victims have to decide their own fate. 266 00:12:54,511 --> 00:12:59,261 How can two people mired in the mess ever figure it out? 267 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,386 Do we need distance to get close? 268 00:13:04,053 --> 00:13:05,470 Uh, sorry. 269 00:13:05,553 --> 00:13:07,303 Cab gridlock situation. 270 00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:10,095 They should rename the West Side Highway the "No-Way" Highway. 271 00:13:10,178 --> 00:13:13,470 Ah, let me just pull out my files on the Mackenzie case… 272 00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:15,636 We're not here to discuss the Mackenzie case. 273 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,970 Oh! I'm sorry then, what is this meeting about? 274 00:13:19,053 --> 00:13:20,511 You. 275 00:13:20,595 --> 00:13:22,845 We're concerned. 276 00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:26,386 It's been noted recently that you've been late to important meetings 277 00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:28,845 and are struggling to handle your case load. 278 00:13:29,511 --> 00:13:32,053 I'm sorry, Maurice. I don't know what you mean. 279 00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:33,345 I was late today, but… 280 00:13:33,428 --> 00:13:35,886 Actually, you've been late rather frequently. 281 00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:40,803 There was the deposition last Tuesday, and the motion hearing last Friday, 282 00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:42,428 and you left early on Monday. 283 00:13:42,511 --> 00:13:44,428 Way to watch my back, Fern. 284 00:13:44,511 --> 00:13:45,970 I understand it's been difficult. 285 00:13:46,053 --> 00:13:47,386 With the new baby and all. 286 00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:48,595 Got it. 287 00:13:49,511 --> 00:13:51,511 No problem, won't happen again. 288 00:13:52,261 --> 00:13:54,803 But let me say, as far as the Mackenzie brief, 289 00:13:54,886 --> 00:13:56,928 Miranda Hobbes is kicking ass. 290 00:13:57,011 --> 00:13:59,053 Where I am doing a bad job is at home. 291 00:13:59,345 --> 00:14:02,720 So, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. 292 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,928 And may I remind you that when my mother died, 293 00:14:09,011 --> 00:14:11,553 I was back in the office on Monday. 294 00:14:21,595 --> 00:14:23,178 Oh. 295 00:14:23,261 --> 00:14:24,636 Guess what I'm drinking? 296 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,886 An Absolut Hunk, you're a drink! 297 00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:31,053 Mmm, and you're delish. 298 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:34,636 Take off that ski cap. Let people see you. 299 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,636 I don't want people to see me. 300 00:14:36,761 --> 00:14:38,511 Everybody's giving me shit about the poster. 301 00:14:38,595 --> 00:14:40,886 Oh, you're insane. People love it! 302 00:14:40,970 --> 00:14:42,220 Not my people. 303 00:14:42,303 --> 00:14:45,136 My sober buddies are pissed that I'm shelling for a liquor company, 304 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,511 my acting class thinks I'm a sell-out, 305 00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:49,636 my ma's running around every grocery store in Seattle hiding magazines, 306 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,178 so my 96-year-old grandmother doesn't see my dick. 307 00:14:52,261 --> 00:14:55,011 Drunks, nobodies, prudes. 308 00:14:55,845 --> 00:14:57,636 But, I just don't see where this is going. 309 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,595 It would be one thing if I was getting auditions, 310 00:15:00,678 --> 00:15:01,803 but nothing's happening. 311 00:15:01,886 --> 00:15:04,928 I'm sorry to bother you, but are you the Absolut Hunk? 312 00:15:05,011 --> 00:15:06,011 Yes! 313 00:15:06,053 --> 00:15:07,720 He is. 314 00:15:07,803 --> 00:15:11,720 Well, I just wanted to say that my friends and I are huge, huge fans. 315 00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:13,095 Oh, my God. 316 00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:15,095 Hi. 317 00:15:16,303 --> 00:15:18,928 It's working! What did I tell you? 318 00:15:19,011 --> 00:15:22,136 How does those guys toasting me mean my acting career is happening? 319 00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,428 First come the gays, then the girls, 320 00:15:24,511 --> 00:15:26,803 then… the industry. 321 00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:31,428 - Cheers! - Cheers. 322 00:15:31,511 --> 00:15:33,386 And speaking of Absolute Gay, 323 00:15:33,470 --> 00:15:35,803 Charlotte was on a lunch date with Yenta number two's son. 324 00:15:35,886 --> 00:15:39,928 So, I mean, I guess I just knew it wasn't gonna work out. 325 00:15:40,011 --> 00:15:41,845 I mean, I like practicing Pilates, 326 00:15:41,928 --> 00:15:43,428 but I don't want to talk about it all day 327 00:15:43,511 --> 00:15:45,178 with my significant other. 328 00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:48,928 And what are you looking for exactly in a… 329 00:15:49,011 --> 00:15:50,803 "significant other"? 330 00:15:50,886 --> 00:15:53,345 Look… We don't need to do this. 331 00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:56,011 You know I'm gay. I know I'm gay. 332 00:15:56,095 --> 00:15:58,345 The only person who doesn't know I'm gay is my mother. 333 00:15:58,428 --> 00:15:59,511 Oh. 334 00:15:59,595 --> 00:16:02,761 So if you really want to know what my type is… 335 00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:04,053 That's it. 336 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,011 I know him. 337 00:16:06,595 --> 00:16:08,428 Get out! Get out! 338 00:16:08,511 --> 00:16:09,970 Could you introduce me? 339 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,261 Actually, he's straight. 340 00:16:13,928 --> 00:16:15,595 My brother will be so disappointed. 341 00:16:15,678 --> 00:16:17,303 We're obsessed with him. 342 00:16:21,303 --> 00:16:22,803 Charlotte, honey. 343 00:16:22,886 --> 00:16:23,871 Hi, Elaine. 344 00:16:23,886 --> 00:16:25,470 You went out with a fagelah and a mieskeit 345 00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:27,136 and you can't go out with my David? 346 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,053 It's just those blind dates are so… 347 00:16:29,136 --> 00:16:30,803 Wait, not so blind. 348 00:16:30,886 --> 00:16:33,053 I showed David your picture from the last newsletter 349 00:16:33,136 --> 00:16:35,178 and he thought you were a knockout. 350 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,678 Well, that's nice. 351 00:16:36,761 --> 00:16:39,636 I told him you'd be at the next single and mingle night at the temple, 352 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:40,845 you could meet there. 353 00:16:40,928 --> 00:16:43,053 He's a looker, my David. 354 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:46,886 Now, I know most people say that about their children, but he is. 355 00:16:47,678 --> 00:16:48,720 Oh. 356 00:16:48,803 --> 00:16:51,011 And he's even better looking in person. 357 00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:53,720 - So you'll meet him? - Mmm. 358 00:16:53,803 --> 00:16:56,470 Never had braces, can you imagine? 359 00:16:56,553 --> 00:16:59,011 Some people are bullied into blind dating. 360 00:16:59,095 --> 00:17:01,095 Charlotte was bubbied. 361 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:05,136 I'm here, I'm here. 362 00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:06,511 Is he still awake? 363 00:17:06,595 --> 00:17:07,928 Oh. No, no. 364 00:17:08,011 --> 00:17:10,386 Boy go to sleep an hour ago. 365 00:17:12,011 --> 00:17:13,011 Great! 366 00:17:13,761 --> 00:17:14,761 It's great. 367 00:17:18,636 --> 00:17:21,970 Well, I just guess I can just get back to my work then. 368 00:17:28,178 --> 00:17:31,095 That night, the only thing Miranda put to bed 369 00:17:31,178 --> 00:17:32,761 was the Mackenzie brief. 370 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,470 The next day, the verdict was in. 371 00:17:37,553 --> 00:17:42,470 Century 21, the downtown discount store, was the best part of jury duty. 372 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,720 Hello. 373 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:49,511 I'm with two men in plaid pants and I'm carrying a nine iron. 374 00:17:49,595 --> 00:17:51,553 Greetings from California. 375 00:17:51,636 --> 00:17:53,803 Oh, you think that's bad? I'm discount shopping. 376 00:17:53,886 --> 00:17:55,678 What are you doing golfing? 377 00:17:56,053 --> 00:17:58,511 I'm just in it for the scotch afterwards. 378 00:17:58,595 --> 00:17:59,928 How are things? 379 00:18:00,011 --> 00:18:01,178 Uh, pretty good. 380 00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:04,095 So far I've found the most unbelievable Anna Molinari dress 381 00:18:04,178 --> 00:18:05,761 and a Dolce kimono. 382 00:18:06,011 --> 00:18:07,886 I meant in your life. 383 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,761 How's tricks? 384 00:18:09,845 --> 00:18:11,261 Tricks are for kids. 385 00:18:11,345 --> 00:18:12,928 Okay, kid. 386 00:18:13,011 --> 00:18:15,303 So, how's it going with that guy, hot dog? 387 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,845 Berger. Why do you ask? 388 00:18:17,928 --> 00:18:20,220 Because we're friends and friends ask other friends 389 00:18:20,303 --> 00:18:22,428 how things are in their lives. 390 00:18:22,511 --> 00:18:24,720 Besides, I don't tee off for another ten minutes. 391 00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:27,428 Uh, we're great, great. 392 00:18:27,511 --> 00:18:29,011 Moved in together yet? 393 00:18:29,095 --> 00:18:29,996 Um… 394 00:18:30,011 --> 00:18:31,845 Actually, we're taking it slow. 395 00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:33,955 What's that mean? 396 00:18:33,970 --> 00:18:35,845 Well, we're kinda taking a break. 397 00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:37,303 You're taking a break? 398 00:18:37,386 --> 00:18:38,386 A little break. 399 00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:39,720 I don't know why I told him. 400 00:18:39,803 --> 00:18:41,345 I think I crumbled under questioning. 401 00:18:41,428 --> 00:18:42,678 You haven't been together that long. 402 00:18:42,761 --> 00:18:43,803 What are you taking a break from? 403 00:18:43,886 --> 00:18:46,220 Well, sometimes a person needs a little space. 404 00:18:46,303 --> 00:18:47,470 From you? 405 00:18:47,553 --> 00:18:48,845 This guy must be crazy. 406 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,970 Spoken by the man who moved 3,000 miles away. 407 00:18:53,595 --> 00:18:55,511 You know, a break can be a very good thing. 408 00:18:55,636 --> 00:18:57,470 As long as you're alright with it. 409 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,511 I am very okay with it, in fact… 410 00:18:59,595 --> 00:19:00,538 Carrie, you're breaking up. 411 00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:02,095 No, we're not, Berger and I will fig… 412 00:19:02,178 --> 00:19:03,803 No, your cell phone is breaking up. 413 00:19:03,886 --> 00:19:05,678 I can hardly hear you. Hello? 414 00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:07,636 - Hello? - He… 415 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,970 With an armful of discount clothing, 416 00:19:10,053 --> 00:19:12,886 I realized I could no longer discount my feelings. 417 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,136 I decided to rent a car 418 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:18,386 and drive the distance to get closer to Berger. 419 00:19:26,053 --> 00:19:29,136 I paid $187 to drive 40-feet. 420 00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:30,678 What did I think I was gonna do? 421 00:19:30,761 --> 00:19:32,761 Badger my boyfriend into being with me? 422 00:19:33,303 --> 00:19:34,553 Well, that's one option. 423 00:19:34,636 --> 00:19:38,595 I just keep thinking, you know, if I stick with it… 424 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,803 just tried a little harder… 425 00:19:40,886 --> 00:19:41,886 Carrie… 426 00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:45,053 You know how much I like Berger, but come on. 427 00:19:45,136 --> 00:19:47,345 No one can accuse you of not having tried. 428 00:19:47,428 --> 00:19:50,678 - You did good. - I mean, Berger can be… 429 00:19:50,761 --> 00:19:54,011 threatened and insecure, 430 00:19:54,095 --> 00:19:56,595 and sometimes he shuts down. But… 431 00:19:56,678 --> 00:19:58,511 But he's also smart and funny… 432 00:19:58,595 --> 00:20:02,928 Like, he made up this thing… this "Hollywood kiss" thing. 433 00:20:03,011 --> 00:20:05,303 Whenever we're being pissy with each other, 434 00:20:05,386 --> 00:20:07,761 we do this fake Hollywood kiss bit… 435 00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:10,053 and it makes us laugh. 436 00:20:10,136 --> 00:20:11,970 You guys need a "bit"? 437 00:20:12,053 --> 00:20:13,886 I know, it isn't working. 438 00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:16,261 Why is it so hard to admit that? 439 00:20:17,636 --> 00:20:19,803 God, I gotta break up with him. 440 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,095 If he ever comes back. 441 00:20:22,178 --> 00:20:23,761 - Mmm. - All clean! 442 00:20:23,845 --> 00:20:25,678 - Oh… - Oh, lookie, here's mommy. 443 00:20:25,761 --> 00:20:27,345 Hey, guy. 444 00:20:27,428 --> 00:20:29,178 - Here we go. Yes. - How was your bath? 445 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:31,678 Magda, I'll see you at 8:00 tomorrow. 446 00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:33,970 Thank you for everything. It's okay. 447 00:20:34,053 --> 00:20:35,678 Don't cry, Magda be back tomorrow. 448 00:20:35,761 --> 00:20:39,636 Hey, I missed you today, how are you? 449 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,595 Bye-bye, Brady. No more crying. 450 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,803 Oh, you, darling. Bye-bye. 451 00:20:45,803 --> 00:20:48,553 Oh… What's wrong with him? 452 00:20:48,636 --> 00:20:50,553 Oh, he'll be fine. 453 00:20:50,636 --> 00:20:52,886 He just misses his mommy… 454 00:20:52,970 --> 00:20:54,220 Magda. 455 00:20:54,303 --> 00:20:55,845 It's okay. 456 00:20:55,928 --> 00:21:00,136 The next day, Miranda decided to do something about that. 457 00:21:00,220 --> 00:21:02,136 We both know that this isn't working. 458 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:06,345 And as much as I would like it to, it's not just gonna magically change. 459 00:21:06,428 --> 00:21:07,413 What are you saying? 460 00:21:07,428 --> 00:21:08,886 I can't keep working like this. 461 00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:11,428 I'm going to have to cut way back… 462 00:21:12,636 --> 00:21:14,178 to 50 hours a week. 463 00:21:18,386 --> 00:21:20,011 55 tops. 464 00:21:26,011 --> 00:21:28,761 Yeah, okay. 465 00:21:30,053 --> 00:21:33,345 Yeah… 466 00:21:33,428 --> 00:21:36,636 That night, Miranda was there to put Brady to bed, 467 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,095 but there would still be times when she wouldn't be around, 468 00:21:40,178 --> 00:21:43,845 so Miranda found a way to be around. 469 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:45,261 Yeah. 470 00:21:45,928 --> 00:21:48,803 And at bus stops all around town… 471 00:21:48,886 --> 00:21:50,678 Fuckin' A. 472 00:21:50,761 --> 00:21:53,261 Everybody in New York thinks I'm an asshole. 473 00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,636 Listen blondie, if you're gonna be in this business, 474 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,595 you're gonna have to be a lot more thick-skinned than this. 475 00:21:59,220 --> 00:22:01,303 What business? The naked hustler business? 476 00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:02,636 Look, I understand you're upset, 477 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,303 but you're gonna have to take a step backwards 478 00:22:04,386 --> 00:22:05,928 and see the big picture. 479 00:22:06,345 --> 00:22:07,553 I need some time to think. 480 00:22:07,636 --> 00:22:09,720 - I'll see you later. - Stop right there. 481 00:22:11,345 --> 00:22:12,928 So there's a bump in the road. 482 00:22:13,845 --> 00:22:15,970 You can't bail the minute things get rough. 483 00:22:16,595 --> 00:22:19,345 Now, trust me, this will all work out. 484 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,220 What if you're wrong? 485 00:22:22,761 --> 00:22:24,636 There it was, a frown. 486 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,220 Or as close to a frown as Samantha and her dermatologist, 487 00:22:27,303 --> 00:22:29,011 Dr. Peterson, would allow. 488 00:22:29,095 --> 00:22:30,095 Oh, my God, look! 489 00:22:30,220 --> 00:22:32,428 There he is, the Absolut Hunk! 490 00:22:34,845 --> 00:22:35,970 What did I tell you? 491 00:22:36,053 --> 00:22:38,511 First the gays, now the girls… 492 00:22:42,303 --> 00:22:45,928 A hop, skip, and a week later, the industry followed. 493 00:22:46,011 --> 00:22:50,553 Gus Van Sant offered Smith the part of a model/hustler/junkie 494 00:22:50,636 --> 00:22:54,095 in his latest movie, which he happily accepted. 495 00:22:55,386 --> 00:22:57,678 Uh, you grew up in Connecticut? I went to school there. 496 00:22:57,761 --> 00:22:58,845 Really, where'd you go? 497 00:22:58,928 --> 00:22:59,913 Yale. 498 00:22:59,928 --> 00:23:01,095 Oh. 499 00:23:02,011 --> 00:23:03,845 Something wrong with Yale? 500 00:23:03,928 --> 00:23:05,720 No, no, it's just… 501 00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:07,886 Yale. 502 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,386 Charlotte knew how silly she sounded. 503 00:23:10,470 --> 00:23:12,511 The problem wasn't that David went to Yale. 504 00:23:12,595 --> 00:23:15,261 The problem was, he wasn't Harry. 505 00:23:16,470 --> 00:23:18,595 David, you're really nice. 506 00:23:18,678 --> 00:23:21,053 In fact, you're perfect. 507 00:23:21,136 --> 00:23:23,386 But, for where I am right now, 508 00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:26,261 you might as well be a gay man with carnations. 509 00:23:26,886 --> 00:23:27,886 I'm sorry? 510 00:23:28,553 --> 00:23:30,595 I'm just not ready to date. 511 00:23:31,136 --> 00:23:32,470 Okay. 512 00:23:33,220 --> 00:23:35,511 Do you wanna go back to my apartment and have sex? 513 00:23:35,803 --> 00:23:37,345 No. 514 00:23:38,386 --> 00:23:39,803 Figured it was worth asking. 515 00:23:39,886 --> 00:23:42,553 Okay. 516 00:23:43,470 --> 00:23:45,678 I think I'm gonna head out, bye. 517 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:54,886 This blows. 518 00:23:54,970 --> 00:23:57,136 The only cute guy just left. 519 00:23:57,220 --> 00:23:59,720 All that's left is the fatties and the baldies. 520 00:23:59,803 --> 00:24:02,678 Charlotte could only hope that one of the baldies 521 00:24:02,761 --> 00:24:03,970 was her baldie. 522 00:24:24,886 --> 00:24:27,178 Out of all the synagogues in all the cities 523 00:24:27,261 --> 00:24:29,220 you had to walk into mine. 524 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,386 Harry. 525 00:24:32,886 --> 00:24:34,011 How ya been? 526 00:24:35,636 --> 00:24:37,511 Not good. 527 00:24:38,886 --> 00:24:40,428 I miss you. 528 00:24:40,553 --> 00:24:44,970 And being away from you just only made it all the more clear 529 00:24:45,053 --> 00:24:46,845 how much I love you. 530 00:24:46,928 --> 00:24:48,511 - Charlotte… - Wait. Just… 531 00:24:48,595 --> 00:24:50,386 Let me finish. 532 00:24:51,220 --> 00:24:53,345 I don't care if you ever marry me. 533 00:24:54,303 --> 00:24:56,011 I just want to be with you. 534 00:24:57,261 --> 00:25:00,386 I would be lucky to have you. 535 00:25:00,761 --> 00:25:03,511 So, if you can find some way to forgive me, 536 00:25:03,595 --> 00:25:05,261 if you could just call me, 537 00:25:05,386 --> 00:25:09,095 or just ask me out again. 538 00:25:10,595 --> 00:25:12,886 Well, that's not good enough. 539 00:25:21,511 --> 00:25:23,928 Charlotte York… 540 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,428 will you marry me? 541 00:25:30,678 --> 00:25:34,136 Yes. Yes, I'll marry you. 542 00:25:39,136 --> 00:25:41,678 I am so coming back next week. 543 00:25:41,761 --> 00:25:43,136 Uh-huh. 544 00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:53,761 It wasn't a pineapple, but it was just as weird, 545 00:25:53,845 --> 00:25:57,345 and there was only one other person who would really appreciate it. 546 00:25:57,428 --> 00:26:00,678 At that moment I knew I wasn't ready to let Berger go. 547 00:26:00,761 --> 00:26:03,136 Okay, people, you're released. 548 00:26:09,470 --> 00:26:10,678 Who is it? 549 00:26:10,761 --> 00:26:12,970 It's me. I'm back. 550 00:26:13,928 --> 00:26:16,220 Oh. Well, come on up. 551 00:26:16,303 --> 00:26:19,261 When it comes to a trial, you have to listen to the evidence. 552 00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:21,761 But when it comes to the trials of love, 553 00:26:21,845 --> 00:26:23,636 you have to listen to your heart. 554 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,136 I didn't know what Berger's verdict would be, 555 00:26:26,220 --> 00:26:27,386 but I knew mine. 556 00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:37,345 I hear they're making a comeback. 557 00:26:44,511 --> 00:26:47,261 Hey, Berger, I know things have been bad, but I really think… 558 00:26:47,345 --> 00:26:48,345 I know. 559 00:26:49,511 --> 00:26:50,970 I love you, Carrie. 560 00:26:51,428 --> 00:26:53,053 I want to try to make this work. 561 00:26:57,678 --> 00:26:59,970 Hey, you're never gonna believe it. 562 00:27:00,053 --> 00:27:01,511 You know the mango guy? 563 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:02,803 He pulled out… 564 00:27:02,886 --> 00:27:04,845 - A pineapple? - A coconut. 565 00:27:04,928 --> 00:27:07,511 Oh, so close. 566 00:27:07,595 --> 00:27:08,636 I know.