1 00:00:48,901 --> 00:00:52,651 My career had reached new heights, literally. 2 00:00:52,735 --> 00:00:56,026 An editor at New York Magazine thought I would be the perfect person 3 00:00:56,110 --> 00:00:58,943 to write about the ultimate challenge for swingers… 4 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:00,360 The flying trapeze. 5 00:01:00,818 --> 00:01:02,610 Wouldn't you rather be at Jeffrey? 6 00:01:02,693 --> 00:01:04,568 They're having a sale on stripes. 7 00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:06,901 That's not supportive! 8 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,151 Step on up, good. 9 00:01:10,235 --> 00:01:13,693 That's good, that's great. Come around to my side. 10 00:01:15,026 --> 00:01:16,735 I'm gonna take off your climbing lines 11 00:01:16,818 --> 00:01:18,568 and strap on your safety harness. 12 00:01:18,735 --> 00:01:20,110 Yes, please strap on anything 13 00:01:20,193 --> 00:01:21,693 that will keep me from plummeting to my death. 14 00:01:21,776 --> 00:01:24,651 Toes over the edge, feet shoulder-width apart. 15 00:01:24,735 --> 00:01:26,151 And just a little bit more. 16 00:01:27,068 --> 00:01:28,776 That's good. Head up. 17 00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:31,526 Now put your right hand out in front of you. 18 00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:33,110 I've got you. Good. 19 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,318 Are you ready to grab the bar? 20 00:01:34,401 --> 00:01:36,151 I'm ready to go to the bar. 21 00:01:36,235 --> 00:01:38,401 - Does everyone say that? - Pretty much. 22 00:01:38,485 --> 00:01:40,318 Okay, hold the bar in one hand. 23 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:42,151 You're queen of the world! 24 00:01:42,318 --> 00:01:44,401 - You're queen of the world! - Ha-ha. 25 00:01:44,610 --> 00:01:46,693 All right, that's good. 26 00:01:46,776 --> 00:01:48,901 Keep your head up, don't look down. 27 00:01:48,985 --> 00:01:50,235 Are you ready? 28 00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:52,985 And… up. 29 00:01:53,943 --> 00:01:55,110 Whoo! 30 00:01:59,443 --> 00:02:00,943 Swing out, sister! 31 00:02:01,526 --> 00:02:03,943 Two hours later, I was hooked. 32 00:02:05,651 --> 00:02:08,901 Stanny, are you watching? I'm about to try a catch! 33 00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:11,860 Maybe you should quit while you're a… live. 34 00:02:11,943 --> 00:02:13,151 You can totally do this. 35 00:02:13,235 --> 00:02:16,276 Just listen to me and trust me. 36 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,651 Up! 37 00:02:18,985 --> 00:02:21,651 All right, legs up. 38 00:02:21,735 --> 00:02:24,693 Take your hands off and reach for me. 39 00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:26,485 This time you got it. 40 00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:28,401 Let go! 41 00:02:28,485 --> 00:02:30,360 - Let go! - No! 42 00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:32,276 Ooh… No, no, no, no. 43 00:02:33,318 --> 00:02:35,693 That day, I didn't get caught… 44 00:02:37,318 --> 00:02:39,651 But Samantha's zipper did. 45 00:02:57,901 --> 00:03:00,776 This is one of the frustrating things about living alone. 46 00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:04,401 There's not always somebody around to rip your clothes off. 47 00:03:14,568 --> 00:03:15,818 Hey, Smith. 48 00:03:15,901 --> 00:03:18,443 Want to come over and do me? 49 00:03:19,318 --> 00:03:21,776 What she meant was "undo" me. 50 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:24,235 But two birds with one stone. 51 00:03:25,026 --> 00:03:26,651 And in Central Park, 52 00:03:26,735 --> 00:03:31,276 a photographer attempted to catch two lovebirds sitting on a stone. 53 00:03:32,235 --> 00:03:35,818 Honey, a little… a little less teeth, just relax your lips. 54 00:03:36,110 --> 00:03:38,110 Oh, no. Now you're squinting. 55 00:03:38,193 --> 00:03:41,651 A lesser man might have told Charlotte to take a flying leap, 56 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,110 but Harry loved her too much. 57 00:03:44,193 --> 00:03:45,943 I thought the point was to look natural. 58 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,443 That's what I'm trying to get you to do. 59 00:03:48,526 --> 00:03:52,943 Well, one might ask, how natural is it to be sitting in Central Park in a suit? 60 00:03:53,068 --> 00:03:56,235 Honey, I read the wedding section religiously 61 00:03:56,318 --> 00:03:57,985 and I know what they're looking for, 62 00:03:58,068 --> 00:03:59,735 and not all pictures are selected. 63 00:03:59,818 --> 00:04:01,485 And I really, really want there to be 64 00:04:01,568 --> 00:04:04,860 a York-Goldenblatt announcement of our wedding in The Sunday Times. 65 00:04:04,943 --> 00:04:07,776 So please, just, just a little less teeth, just… 66 00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:11,693 Charlotte York, I cannot wait to marry you. 67 00:04:12,235 --> 00:04:13,860 That's perfect, that's it! 68 00:04:13,943 --> 00:04:15,193 I was having a moment! 69 00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:17,360 Oh… 70 00:04:17,443 --> 00:04:19,568 Ah, lipstick! 71 00:04:19,651 --> 00:04:23,485 Wait, no, no, sorry. No kissing pictures, it's tacky. 72 00:04:23,735 --> 00:04:25,568 And speaking of tacky… 73 00:04:25,651 --> 00:04:26,901 It's cute, huh? 74 00:04:26,985 --> 00:04:29,693 Debbie bought it for him over at the 6th Avenue Flea Market. 75 00:04:31,068 --> 00:04:34,026 Did you wash it first? 76 00:04:34,110 --> 00:04:36,318 She also got something for you. 77 00:04:38,776 --> 00:04:40,318 It's aromatherapy. 78 00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:43,943 Oh. Huh. 79 00:04:44,693 --> 00:04:45,901 You know, I was thinking, 80 00:04:46,318 --> 00:04:49,735 maybe we should figure out a time for the two of you to meet. 81 00:04:49,818 --> 00:04:51,526 What? Why? 82 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,610 Well, she's around Brady, 83 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,568 and I know you're not so comfortable with that… 84 00:04:55,651 --> 00:04:58,276 I'm completely comfortable. I don't need to meet her. 85 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,235 I trust you. 86 00:05:00,318 --> 00:05:03,235 She bought me a fucking candle. 87 00:05:04,026 --> 00:05:08,151 And it was an aromatherapy candle, for serenity and calm. 88 00:05:08,235 --> 00:05:12,151 I was much more serene and calm before the fucking candle. 89 00:05:12,235 --> 00:05:14,443 "Women with candles have replaced women with cats" 90 00:05:14,526 --> 00:05:15,735 is the new sad thing. 91 00:05:15,818 --> 00:05:18,818 Oh, and get this, he thinks I should meet her. 92 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:21,651 I sense that he wants us to become friends. 93 00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:23,235 Oh, no, no, no, no, forget it. 94 00:05:23,318 --> 00:05:26,110 You do not need to become friends with the new girlfriend. 95 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:31,776 It's unnatural, uncomfortable, insincere and rife with ulterior motives. 96 00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:35,110 - Has this happened to you? - No, I'm just being supportive. 97 00:05:35,193 --> 00:05:36,818 But there is a baby involved. 98 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,901 Exactly. She's using Brady to get to me. 99 00:05:39,985 --> 00:05:41,776 And I am not falling for it. 100 00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:45,735 Oh, speaking of falling, I tried the trapeze yesterday 101 00:05:45,818 --> 00:05:47,235 for that piece that I'm writing… 102 00:05:47,318 --> 00:05:48,360 I could never! 103 00:05:48,443 --> 00:05:50,360 I have the most terrible fear of heights. 104 00:05:50,443 --> 00:05:52,026 Well, I do not, you've seen my shoes. 105 00:05:52,110 --> 00:05:54,485 So, did you fly through the air with the greatest of ease? 106 00:05:54,568 --> 00:05:56,985 At first, but then, I couldn't do a catch. 107 00:05:57,068 --> 00:05:59,276 All I had to do was let go and reach for the guy, 108 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,818 who was very cute, and I still couldn't do it. 109 00:06:01,901 --> 00:06:04,026 You are insane for getting into a harness 110 00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:06,276 without even the hope of an orgasm. 111 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,651 Hello, ladies. 112 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:08,985 Hi, honey. 113 00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,651 - Hey, Harry. - Hi, Howie. 114 00:06:10,735 --> 00:06:11,735 Hi. 115 00:06:11,776 --> 00:06:14,360 Everyone, this is Harry's best man, Howie Halberstein, 116 00:06:14,443 --> 00:06:15,818 - in from Portland. - Hello. 117 00:06:15,901 --> 00:06:16,901 We're not crashing, 118 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,568 I'm just here to drop off the photo-proofs… 119 00:06:18,651 --> 00:06:20,776 …and the seating chart. 120 00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:22,318 - We're gonna have a quick bite to eat… - Right. 121 00:06:22,443 --> 00:06:23,818 …and then I'm going to take the place cards 122 00:06:23,901 --> 00:06:25,610 - to the calligrapher. - Oh. 123 00:06:25,693 --> 00:06:27,568 And after that, if there's time, we're gonna go around the corner 124 00:06:27,651 --> 00:06:28,943 and try to find our balls. 125 00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:33,026 Yes, Harry knows how to show a guy a good time. 126 00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:34,693 Howie, this is Samantha and Miranda. 127 00:06:34,776 --> 00:06:35,678 - Hello. - Hi. 128 00:06:35,693 --> 00:06:37,443 And… Carrie. 129 00:06:37,526 --> 00:06:38,985 - Hi. - Hi, how are ya? 130 00:06:39,068 --> 00:06:40,693 - Good. - Good. 131 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:43,985 Good guy. You two, I see it happening. 132 00:06:44,068 --> 00:06:45,401 Shh. Shh. 133 00:06:46,151 --> 00:06:47,526 Oh. Oh. 134 00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:49,026 So, uh, Carrie? 135 00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:51,901 I was thinking maybe you might show Howie around a little later. 136 00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:55,193 Unless Harry needs me to ice a cake, or something. 137 00:06:55,276 --> 00:07:00,776 Well, um… I'm… I… I'm kind of busy, 138 00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:04,193 'cause I have to do a flying trapeze thing. 139 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,985 That is so weird, because I have a lion taming thing tomorrow, 140 00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:08,485 so that's out for me. 141 00:07:09,568 --> 00:07:11,151 But, you know, if you change your mind… 142 00:07:11,235 --> 00:07:13,860 I will give you my business card. 143 00:07:13,943 --> 00:07:15,026 Okay. 144 00:07:15,526 --> 00:07:17,068 - There you go. - Thank you. 145 00:07:17,151 --> 00:07:18,526 All my lines are on there. 146 00:07:18,610 --> 00:07:20,068 - Okay. - Call me any… 147 00:07:20,151 --> 00:07:21,860 - I'll be waiting by the phone. - Okay. Okay. 148 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,151 What's wrong with you? 149 00:07:25,235 --> 00:07:27,485 He was funny and cute! 150 00:07:27,568 --> 00:07:30,860 And in town for a week. What's the point? 151 00:07:30,943 --> 00:07:34,151 That is the point. It's the best possible scenario, 152 00:07:34,276 --> 00:07:36,068 because you know he's leaving. 153 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,068 But it's, it's like… 154 00:07:38,151 --> 00:07:41,110 whatever happens, there's an expiration date. 155 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,818 It's expiration dating. 156 00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:44,693 It isn't dating. It's sex. 157 00:07:44,776 --> 00:07:47,235 It's fun, it's a fling! 158 00:07:47,318 --> 00:07:49,610 Oh, please, I'm too old for a fling. 159 00:07:49,693 --> 00:07:51,443 I can barely do a swing. 160 00:07:51,526 --> 00:07:54,151 And if you will excuse me, I have to go home, 161 00:07:54,235 --> 00:07:57,068 so I can write about the fact that I couldn't do a catch. 162 00:07:57,151 --> 00:07:58,193 He is a catch. 163 00:07:58,276 --> 00:08:00,193 You should do him! 164 00:08:01,985 --> 00:08:03,068 When you're young, 165 00:08:03,151 --> 00:08:05,651 your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. 166 00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:09,151 Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. 167 00:08:10,693 --> 00:08:13,693 You could break a bone or a heart. 168 00:08:13,776 --> 00:08:16,151 You look before you leap, and sometimes you don't leap at all, 169 00:08:16,235 --> 00:08:18,651 because there's not always someone there to catch you. 170 00:08:19,568 --> 00:08:22,235 And in life, there's no safety net. 171 00:08:23,985 --> 00:08:27,693 When did it stop being fun and start being scary? 172 00:08:28,401 --> 00:08:31,776 I decided it was time to leave fear behind 173 00:08:31,985 --> 00:08:33,443 and have some fun. 174 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:41,068 Okay, legs up. 175 00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:43,068 That's good. 176 00:08:43,151 --> 00:08:44,485 Let go and reach for me. 177 00:08:44,568 --> 00:08:46,401 I can't! 178 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:50,235 All right, this time let go! 179 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,693 I can't! I can't! 180 00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:55,318 Don't tell me you can't. 181 00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,651 I want nothing but lilies on the chuppah! 182 00:08:57,735 --> 00:08:58,985 The theme is Yentl chic! 183 00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:00,151 Don't forget the candles! 184 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,901 You think this is the first wedding I ever planned? 185 00:09:01,985 --> 00:09:03,526 Jesus Christ, you're worse than me! 186 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,360 We want candles, candles, candles! 187 00:09:05,443 --> 00:09:08,318 And I don't want short, stubby, little, broken-off dick candles. 188 00:09:08,401 --> 00:09:10,443 I want long tapers. 189 00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:13,401 - All right, call me right back! - Ta-da! 190 00:09:14,818 --> 00:09:16,943 - It's okay? - Okay? 191 00:09:17,026 --> 00:09:18,235 You're Audrey Hepburn… 192 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,261 …owitz. 193 00:09:19,276 --> 00:09:21,151 I'm so excited about this wedding. 194 00:09:21,235 --> 00:09:23,526 We're gonna do everything according to tradition. 195 00:09:23,735 --> 00:09:25,485 We are going to smash the glass, 196 00:09:25,568 --> 00:09:28,401 and the signing of the ketubah, the hora… 197 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,735 Be careful, God forbid you fall off the chair. 198 00:09:31,818 --> 00:09:33,401 Oh, "the hora, the hora." 199 00:09:33,735 --> 00:09:35,318 Well, maybe we won't do the chair thing. 200 00:09:35,401 --> 00:09:37,318 You have to, that's the big finish! 201 00:09:37,401 --> 00:09:40,110 Just remember when you're up there, pretend you're having a good time, 202 00:09:40,193 --> 00:09:42,485 hang on for dear life, and for fuck's sake, 203 00:09:42,568 --> 00:09:43,735 keep your legs together. 204 00:09:43,818 --> 00:09:45,110 Nobody wants to see the bride's beaver. 205 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:48,443 Don't say that in front of my dress. 206 00:09:50,693 --> 00:09:52,443 Hello, York residence. 207 00:09:52,943 --> 00:09:54,068 Yes, we have a minute. 208 00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:55,485 It's the New York Times fact checker. 209 00:09:55,568 --> 00:09:57,943 Yes, Goldenblatt has two T's… 210 00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:01,485 Sure, fax it over! 211 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,901 We're in, we're in! 212 00:10:04,985 --> 00:10:06,360 This calls for a hora! 213 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,568 Hey. 214 00:10:11,651 --> 00:10:14,151 Oh my God, what are you doing here? 215 00:10:14,235 --> 00:10:16,526 Don't look at me, don't look at me! 216 00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:18,026 Jesus Christ, Char, my ear. 217 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:19,693 You're not supposed to see me in my dress. 218 00:10:19,776 --> 00:10:22,193 This is bad luck, very bad luck. 219 00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:25,360 Close your eyes, keep them closed! 220 00:10:25,443 --> 00:10:27,568 Oh, no, this is so bad! 221 00:10:29,693 --> 00:10:31,318 Are all brides like that? 222 00:10:31,443 --> 00:10:32,610 That's nothing, 223 00:10:32,693 --> 00:10:35,276 I once had a girl on Long Island give herself a stroke. 224 00:10:35,776 --> 00:10:37,985 She pulled it together for the big day, though. 225 00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:46,401 Hopefully I'll get cell reception down in Mexico. 226 00:10:46,485 --> 00:10:47,568 Uh-huh. 227 00:10:47,651 --> 00:10:50,276 Samantha, a fan of expiration dating, 228 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,860 was about to enjoy one of the benefits of dating an actor… 229 00:10:53,943 --> 00:10:55,693 Location, location, location. 230 00:10:55,776 --> 00:10:57,526 It's gonna be cool working with Gus Van Sant. 231 00:10:57,693 --> 00:10:59,068 Uh-huh. 232 00:11:00,235 --> 00:11:01,985 Here, let me… 233 00:11:04,901 --> 00:11:07,568 I can't believe we don't get to spend my last night together. 234 00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:09,485 Are you dying? 235 00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:12,651 - No. - Then it's not your last night. 236 00:11:14,610 --> 00:11:15,943 There. 237 00:11:17,818 --> 00:11:19,151 I'm gonna miss you, Samantha. 238 00:11:19,235 --> 00:11:22,526 Oh, save that performance for Mr. Van Sant. 239 00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:24,776 It's just two weeks. 240 00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,026 - It's a long time! - Mmm-hmm. 241 00:11:26,110 --> 00:11:27,401 Would you get out of here already? 242 00:11:27,485 --> 00:11:28,651 I'm late as it is. 243 00:11:29,693 --> 00:11:31,193 Yeah, yeah. 244 00:11:31,276 --> 00:11:32,401 And listen… 245 00:11:32,485 --> 00:11:35,526 When you're on location, don't do anything I wouldn't do. 246 00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:38,818 - What does that rule out? - Mmm, there are things… 247 00:11:40,568 --> 00:11:44,360 Karaoke, I don't do that. 248 00:11:45,818 --> 00:11:52,735 He flies through the air, With the greatest of ease 249 00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:57,443 That daring young boy On the flying trapeze 250 00:11:57,526 --> 00:11:58,735 This is it. 251 00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:00,526 It's a very nice building. 252 00:12:00,610 --> 00:12:02,401 Miranda! 253 00:12:02,526 --> 00:12:03,776 I can't find my keys. 254 00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:04,860 Magda… 255 00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:06,943 - You still have keys? - I'm not home. 256 00:12:07,068 --> 00:12:09,026 - Because of Brady. - Do you understand? 257 00:12:09,110 --> 00:12:14,401 I'm already at Charlotte's. I am not home. 258 00:12:20,235 --> 00:12:21,568 Is Miranda here? 259 00:12:21,651 --> 00:12:23,485 She is not home. 260 00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:25,651 Oh. Well, that's too bad. 261 00:12:25,735 --> 00:12:27,860 I was really looking forward to meeting her. 262 00:12:27,943 --> 00:12:30,026 She is not home. 263 00:12:30,568 --> 00:12:33,693 - Magda, this is Debbie. - Nice to meet you. 264 00:12:34,776 --> 00:12:37,776 All right, so we just need to grab some things out of Brady's crib. 265 00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:41,610 Last time I forgot Mr. Elephant and Brady acted like a big baby. 266 00:12:41,693 --> 00:12:42,776 Didn't you, B-boy? 267 00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:46,026 He is a big baby. 268 00:12:49,610 --> 00:12:53,110 But, uh… I have not cleaned in room yet. 269 00:12:53,443 --> 00:12:54,860 That's okay. 270 00:12:59,276 --> 00:13:01,860 This is a nice room, she has nice taste. 271 00:13:01,943 --> 00:13:03,860 Yeah, I helped build the crib. 272 00:13:03,943 --> 00:13:06,943 Really? Wow. 273 00:13:09,526 --> 00:13:14,026 What's wrong, Brady, did you drop your binky? 274 00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:15,985 Where's your binky? 275 00:13:16,068 --> 00:13:17,568 Oh. It's right there. 276 00:13:17,651 --> 00:13:18,776 Oh. 277 00:13:20,610 --> 00:13:23,526 Here you go, Brady-licious. 278 00:13:23,776 --> 00:13:26,776 Hey, wanna go to Blockbuster and rent a tape or something? 279 00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:29,360 Okay, but this time, I get to pick. 280 00:13:32,026 --> 00:13:33,151 - Bye. - Bye, Magda. 281 00:13:41,568 --> 00:13:43,818 There's a lot of dust down there. 282 00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:45,735 You really should vacuum… 283 00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:48,110 under… 284 00:13:53,485 --> 00:13:55,360 That night, we all gathered at Charlotte's 285 00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:57,193 casual rehearsal dinner. 286 00:13:57,276 --> 00:14:00,485 You're like a lint tray. What's happening back here? 287 00:14:00,568 --> 00:14:03,401 That Debbie is crazy. 288 00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:06,693 She came to my apartment with Steve, totally ambushed me. 289 00:14:06,776 --> 00:14:09,026 I had to hide under the bed to avoid them. 290 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:10,485 Seriously? 291 00:14:10,985 --> 00:14:12,235 Maybe. 292 00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:13,303 Well, did you see her? 293 00:14:13,318 --> 00:14:15,193 Just her shoes and her nails. 294 00:14:15,526 --> 00:14:16,985 - And… - Both acrylic. 295 00:14:17,068 --> 00:14:18,401 Mmm. You know what? 296 00:14:18,485 --> 00:14:20,443 Maybe you should just meet her and get it over with. 297 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,735 I don't want to meet her. 298 00:14:21,818 --> 00:14:23,276 If I meet her, she's real, 299 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,818 and that means Steve has an actual girlfriend. 300 00:14:25,901 --> 00:14:29,526 Apparently, I wasn't the only one who had trouble letting go. 301 00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:31,860 Hey, what's happening there? 302 00:14:31,943 --> 00:14:33,026 Oh, you know… 303 00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:35,651 Bride, bride, bride, blah, blah, blah. 304 00:14:35,735 --> 00:14:38,151 Hey, I just saw your fling go into the bedroom. 305 00:14:38,235 --> 00:14:39,943 It's like shooting fish in a barrel. 306 00:14:40,026 --> 00:14:40,928 Still, no. 307 00:14:40,943 --> 00:14:41,985 Ooh! 308 00:14:42,068 --> 00:14:45,485 - It's just casual sex. - Nothing's casual anymore. 309 00:14:45,568 --> 00:14:47,485 Not even when it says so on the invitation. 310 00:14:48,193 --> 00:14:50,735 Just go in there and see what happens. 311 00:14:50,818 --> 00:14:53,318 Worst comes to worst, you can always hide under the bed. 312 00:14:57,193 --> 00:14:58,693 I decided they were right. 313 00:14:58,776 --> 00:15:00,985 It was time to get back in the swing of things. 314 00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:09,026 - See ya later. - See ya later, Howie. 315 00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:11,776 Oh, hey. How are ya? 316 00:15:12,693 --> 00:15:16,193 Wow, this is kind of uncomfortable. 317 00:15:16,276 --> 00:15:17,985 Look, would you please stop calling me? 318 00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:21,651 I don't have time to chat. I've got boutonnieres on my mind. 319 00:15:22,026 --> 00:15:23,526 I'm sorry I never called. 320 00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:25,568 I understand, you're busy. That time of the year, 321 00:15:25,651 --> 00:15:29,110 you know, final exams for clown college… or something. 322 00:15:29,193 --> 00:15:31,151 And what would that entail, you think? 323 00:15:31,235 --> 00:15:33,985 You know, the seating arrangements in the little car, 324 00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:35,318 walking in the floppy shoes… 325 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,610 Squirting flower and nose application. 326 00:15:37,693 --> 00:15:40,318 Continual pie-ing, the clown kissing. 327 00:15:40,401 --> 00:15:42,151 Maybe I would have a fling. 328 00:15:42,235 --> 00:15:45,151 After all, how bad could it be? 329 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,151 That night, Howie and I had sex like we were teenagers again. 330 00:15:55,568 --> 00:15:58,651 Meaning, he had no idea what he was doing, 331 00:15:58,818 --> 00:16:00,901 and I didn't say anything. 332 00:16:06,318 --> 00:16:09,776 Meanwhile, Samantha was banging around as well. 333 00:16:13,610 --> 00:16:16,276 You have one new message. 334 00:16:17,985 --> 00:16:20,610 Hey, I'm here. It's pretty cool. 335 00:16:21,401 --> 00:16:22,651 Miss me yet? 336 00:16:24,485 --> 00:16:26,776 That's the thing about getting used to a man. 337 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,401 There's always a catch. 338 00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:34,943 It's here! It's here! 339 00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:38,360 Not just her wedding day, but the New York Times. 340 00:16:42,943 --> 00:16:44,776 Oh, my God. 341 00:16:45,985 --> 00:16:47,526 I have a mustache. 342 00:16:49,068 --> 00:16:50,610 It's an ink stain. 343 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,901 Hey, but look at me. Now that, that is a terrific smile. 344 00:16:53,985 --> 00:16:55,526 This is a nightmare! 345 00:16:55,943 --> 00:16:58,151 It's probably just our paper. 346 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,026 Anyway, who cares? We're getting married today! 347 00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:02,860 I look like Hitler. 348 00:17:02,943 --> 00:17:05,651 I am having a Jewish wedding and I look like Hitler. 349 00:17:05,735 --> 00:17:06,943 Hello? 350 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,151 In your paper, do I have a mustache? 351 00:17:09,401 --> 00:17:10,610 What? 352 00:17:10,693 --> 00:17:13,443 In your wedding section, does it look like I have a mustache? 353 00:17:13,735 --> 00:17:16,401 Oh, hang on a minute. 354 00:17:17,568 --> 00:17:21,401 As I feared, my fling had become a pain in the neck. 355 00:17:21,693 --> 00:17:23,568 You do not look like Hitler. 356 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,443 The Frito Bandito, maybe… 357 00:17:26,526 --> 00:17:28,651 The bad luck is starting already. 358 00:17:33,151 --> 00:17:36,568 Yeah, there's a little something, 359 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,985 but maybe it's just my paper… 360 00:17:39,485 --> 00:17:40,860 and your paper. 361 00:17:41,068 --> 00:17:42,401 I have to go. 362 00:17:42,485 --> 00:17:45,068 Clearly, Charlotte was bent out of shape. 363 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,860 And so was I. 364 00:17:46,943 --> 00:17:50,318 Come on, granny, I'll take you to the early bird special. 365 00:17:50,401 --> 00:17:52,818 Oh, God, don't make me laugh. 366 00:17:52,901 --> 00:17:54,526 It hurts. 367 00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:57,026 Is this still from your days as a Flying Wallenda? 368 00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:01,985 Well, that's my official story, and it's partially true, but… 369 00:18:02,068 --> 00:18:04,485 this is a sex sprain. 370 00:18:04,568 --> 00:18:07,860 - Good for you! - No, it was not good for me. 371 00:18:07,943 --> 00:18:09,485 It was jack rabbit sex. 372 00:18:09,568 --> 00:18:11,568 You know, pow, pow, pow, pow pow, pow, pow, pow. 373 00:18:11,651 --> 00:18:13,568 Are straight men still allowed to do that? 374 00:18:13,651 --> 00:18:15,901 No, they aren't. It's bad. 375 00:18:15,985 --> 00:18:19,360 It's basically masturbating with a woman instead of your hand. 376 00:18:19,443 --> 00:18:20,693 I don't enjoy. 377 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,276 Carrie, you made it. 378 00:18:23,443 --> 00:18:25,860 Oh, hi. 379 00:18:25,943 --> 00:18:27,360 - I gotta go. - Hi. 380 00:18:27,443 --> 00:18:29,526 - The jack rabbit? - Uh-huh. 381 00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:31,943 - I better… - Hop to it? 382 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,276 Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. 383 00:18:40,068 --> 00:18:42,193 You look hot. 384 00:18:42,276 --> 00:18:43,610 Oh. 385 00:18:43,693 --> 00:18:44,860 Thanks. 386 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,193 - Guess what? - What? 387 00:18:48,276 --> 00:18:50,776 I got a suite at the Mercer for later. 388 00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:53,485 King-size bed, huge tub. 389 00:18:53,568 --> 00:18:55,693 We can have breakfast before I leave, 390 00:18:55,776 --> 00:18:58,943 unless, of course, we're busy doing something else? 391 00:18:59,485 --> 00:19:01,943 Oh… yay! 392 00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:04,360 I don't know. 393 00:19:04,651 --> 00:19:07,151 I'm pretty tired from last night. 394 00:19:07,568 --> 00:19:09,360 Yeah, well, I'm only gonna be in town for another day, 395 00:19:09,443 --> 00:19:11,568 and I want to get to know you better. 396 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,776 Well, okay. 397 00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:17,360 We'll see… 398 00:19:17,985 --> 00:19:19,401 We'll see? 399 00:19:20,568 --> 00:19:23,110 I know what "we'll see" means. It means "see ya." 400 00:19:23,401 --> 00:19:27,110 No, no, the thing is… 401 00:19:28,026 --> 00:19:31,943 You're just visiting, so I figured… 402 00:19:35,985 --> 00:19:41,485 I… I figured it was a one-night kind of thing. 403 00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:44,193 Just fun. 404 00:19:46,735 --> 00:19:48,068 Wow. 405 00:19:49,735 --> 00:19:51,485 If I had known you were just using me, 406 00:19:51,568 --> 00:19:53,776 I wouldn't have made love to you like that. 407 00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:05,526 We are here today to celebrate the union of two very special people, 408 00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:08,318 Harry Goldenblatt and Charlotte York. 409 00:20:09,026 --> 00:20:10,693 It's important for everyone here 410 00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:13,360 to be a witness to this moment, 411 00:20:13,443 --> 00:20:16,735 for the Jewish wedding ceremony has two parts. 412 00:20:17,568 --> 00:20:22,235 The first designates to the community that the kallah, 413 00:20:22,318 --> 00:20:28,776 bride, and khatan, groom, are for one another alone. 414 00:20:30,568 --> 00:20:34,401 And the second part gives them to one another. 415 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,735 It's a gift… 416 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,985 …and a huge responsibility. 417 00:20:59,568 --> 00:21:02,151 As one man slipped a ring on, 418 00:21:02,235 --> 00:21:05,818 one woman was still trying to slip a bracelet off. 419 00:21:12,776 --> 00:21:14,735 Ow! Ow! Ow! 420 00:21:15,193 --> 00:21:18,276 Sorry, it's a back spasm, I'm sorry. 421 00:21:29,401 --> 00:21:30,651 Ow. 422 00:21:40,151 --> 00:21:42,276 It seemed to Charlotte that the wedding had gone from 423 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,485 Jewish law to Murphy's law. 424 00:22:02,735 --> 00:22:04,485 Mazel tov! 425 00:22:13,985 --> 00:22:15,901 Hey, Charlotte, are you okay? 426 00:22:15,985 --> 00:22:17,693 This is a disaster. 427 00:22:17,776 --> 00:22:19,360 It's the worst wedding in history. 428 00:22:19,651 --> 00:22:21,651 That's not true. 429 00:22:21,776 --> 00:22:25,068 Although I only saw most of it from here down. 430 00:22:25,401 --> 00:22:27,401 Harry never should have walked in on me 431 00:22:27,485 --> 00:22:28,735 wearing my wedding dress. 432 00:22:28,818 --> 00:22:31,485 - Now we're cursed. - You're not cursed. 433 00:22:32,193 --> 00:22:33,568 You're married. 434 00:22:33,651 --> 00:22:35,985 You just got married! 435 00:22:36,110 --> 00:22:37,651 I know, but… 436 00:22:37,776 --> 00:22:39,776 I wanted everything to be perfect. 437 00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:41,776 Okay, you have to stop with the tears. 438 00:22:42,610 --> 00:22:45,693 You already had the perfect wedding and the marriage… 439 00:22:46,401 --> 00:22:47,776 Not so perfect. 440 00:22:48,485 --> 00:22:50,026 You know, I think this is a good sign. 441 00:22:50,193 --> 00:22:53,443 I think the worse the wedding, the better the marriage. 442 00:22:53,985 --> 00:22:55,943 I have a stain on my dress. 443 00:22:56,026 --> 00:22:57,276 That's good! 444 00:22:57,568 --> 00:22:59,068 That's a good sign! 445 00:22:59,318 --> 00:23:01,568 You're just trying to make me feel better. 446 00:23:01,651 --> 00:23:04,026 No, I'm trying to get you to open your eyes, 447 00:23:04,110 --> 00:23:05,318 because you're missing it! 448 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:07,985 - What? - Everything! 449 00:23:08,193 --> 00:23:10,443 You're missing your wedding. 450 00:23:10,526 --> 00:23:13,568 You have a wonderful man who loves you, 451 00:23:14,151 --> 00:23:16,026 who will be there to catch you when you fall. 452 00:23:16,110 --> 00:23:17,651 Do you know how special that is? 453 00:23:17,735 --> 00:23:20,985 I would love to find a man who was strong enough to catch me. 454 00:23:24,026 --> 00:23:27,818 So, let's get to that reception so you can fall in a cake or something. 455 00:23:29,818 --> 00:23:33,193 Okay. Oh, dear. 456 00:23:33,276 --> 00:23:34,943 So… 457 00:23:35,026 --> 00:23:35,928 Okay? 458 00:23:35,943 --> 00:23:37,818 Perfect, still. Of course. 459 00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:41,068 - Oh. Oh, Christ. - Oh… 460 00:23:41,151 --> 00:23:43,068 Oh, Christ. 461 00:23:43,151 --> 00:23:46,901 Best of luck to you. Best of luck. 462 00:23:48,401 --> 00:23:49,651 Are you okay? 463 00:23:49,735 --> 00:23:50,776 Oh, yeah. 464 00:23:50,860 --> 00:23:52,985 I'm just feeling a little sad. 465 00:23:53,068 --> 00:23:54,985 It was just so beautiful. 466 00:23:55,068 --> 00:23:56,151 The ceremony? 467 00:23:56,235 --> 00:23:57,568 My bracelet. 468 00:23:57,651 --> 00:23:59,235 Mm… 469 00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:05,610 Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? 470 00:24:05,693 --> 00:24:07,026 Oh, God, it's time for the toast. 471 00:24:07,110 --> 00:24:08,818 Top me off, I'm next. 472 00:24:08,901 --> 00:24:11,485 I would like to raise a glass… 473 00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:14,901 to Harry and Charlotte, 474 00:24:15,318 --> 00:24:20,735 because they found each other, despite all the bullshit. 475 00:24:20,818 --> 00:24:25,526 Huh? Hey, hey… It's tough out there. 476 00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:28,276 I mean, people don't care like they used to. 477 00:24:29,443 --> 00:24:31,193 People leave you hanging. 478 00:24:32,276 --> 00:24:33,568 People… 479 00:24:34,151 --> 00:24:35,276 are a bitch. 480 00:24:36,401 --> 00:24:38,151 Is this a toast or a roast? 481 00:24:38,276 --> 00:24:39,776 So here's to love. 482 00:24:40,943 --> 00:24:45,485 And love means… never ever… 483 00:24:47,193 --> 00:24:48,526 having to say… 484 00:24:50,776 --> 00:24:52,735 You used me for sex! 485 00:24:54,735 --> 00:24:55,860 Thanks, Howie. 486 00:24:56,235 --> 00:24:57,276 That's nice. 487 00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:59,901 No, wait, hey, Mazel tov. 488 00:25:00,526 --> 00:25:03,068 It was a Mazel tov cocktail. 489 00:25:05,318 --> 00:25:08,818 Carrie said, "The worse the wedding, the better the marriage." 490 00:25:09,068 --> 00:25:11,651 Well, then I think Howie just got us to our silver. 491 00:25:15,943 --> 00:25:16,943 Hi. 492 00:25:17,026 --> 00:25:18,443 Um… Hello? 493 00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:20,568 Great. Um… 494 00:25:22,860 --> 00:25:28,651 I would like to congratulate my very brave friend, Charlotte, 495 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:30,901 who knows what she wants 496 00:25:31,568 --> 00:25:33,151 and who goes for it. 497 00:25:34,818 --> 00:25:36,526 Not everyone can do that, 498 00:25:38,235 --> 00:25:40,610 especially when it comes to love. 499 00:25:41,860 --> 00:25:47,401 Some of us can't even say the words, but… 500 00:25:54,485 --> 00:25:57,651 Sorry, hon. Good speech though. 501 00:25:58,985 --> 00:26:00,985 Maybe Miranda just got us to our gold. 502 00:26:02,776 --> 00:26:05,610 Mazel tov! 503 00:26:43,318 --> 00:26:45,068 He's certainly acrobatic. 504 00:26:45,151 --> 00:26:49,318 Oh, yeah, he's a regular "Jerk du Soleil." 505 00:26:52,651 --> 00:26:54,860 Do you think everyone knows I slept with him? 506 00:26:54,943 --> 00:26:57,860 Yes. And they all think you're a big "hora." 507 00:27:05,443 --> 00:27:06,985 I don't like this, I'm afraid… 508 00:27:07,068 --> 00:27:09,318 Of what? What's the worst that could happen? 509 00:27:09,443 --> 00:27:10,693 We'll live happily ever after? 510 00:27:11,485 --> 00:27:12,526 Ho! 511 00:27:22,651 --> 00:27:24,651 And, of course, this being a wedding, 512 00:27:24,735 --> 00:27:25,985 there was one more catch to go. 513 00:27:26,068 --> 00:27:30,026 Okay… Ooh… Who's ready to catch the bouquet? 514 00:27:30,318 --> 00:27:31,568 Not me. 515 00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:35,860 I've lit myself on fire, I showed emotion in public… 516 00:27:35,943 --> 00:27:37,235 I think I'm done. 517 00:27:37,443 --> 00:27:39,235 Oh, you were fabulous. 518 00:27:39,485 --> 00:27:41,193 I believe you mean "flammable." 519 00:27:46,151 --> 00:27:47,818 Okay, now you're done. 520 00:27:48,110 --> 00:27:49,860 It wasn't a perfect catch… 521 00:27:58,693 --> 00:28:00,235 And neither was mine. 522 00:28:01,735 --> 00:28:03,276 But I survived, 523 00:28:03,568 --> 00:28:05,735 because I have a good safety net.