1 00:00:51,443 --> 00:00:53,651 I didn't go to my high school reunion. 2 00:00:53,735 --> 00:00:56,776 So, when my high school sweetheart called me, for a reunion, 3 00:00:56,860 --> 00:01:00,276 I was curious to see if he looked like the boy I used to make out with 4 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,651 in front of my locker. 5 00:01:01,735 --> 00:01:03,860 Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to chemistry class? 6 00:01:03,943 --> 00:01:06,151 Actually, he looked better. 7 00:01:06,318 --> 00:01:08,235 Oh, my God. 8 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,443 Jeremy, wow. 9 00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:13,235 That's my name, don't wear it out. 10 00:01:13,526 --> 00:01:16,068 Wow, you look great. 11 00:01:16,151 --> 00:01:18,443 I knew you looked great, 'cause I saw you on the cover of your book. 12 00:01:18,526 --> 00:01:19,428 Oh. 13 00:01:19,443 --> 00:01:20,985 But I have to say, even better in person. 14 00:01:21,068 --> 00:01:23,318 Oh, God. I'm so glad you called. 15 00:01:23,401 --> 00:01:25,943 I'm going to be spending the month in Connecticut, so… 16 00:01:26,068 --> 00:01:27,985 - I had to look you up. - Wow. 17 00:01:28,151 --> 00:01:30,110 Well, how are you? I heard that you married somebody 18 00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:31,401 that you met in business school? 19 00:01:31,485 --> 00:01:33,901 Yeah. No, I got divorced, like, two years ago. 20 00:01:34,235 --> 00:01:35,860 Really miscalculated that one. 21 00:01:36,776 --> 00:01:39,526 - So I'm on my own again. - Oh. 22 00:01:39,735 --> 00:01:41,110 - Oh… - How about you? 23 00:01:41,193 --> 00:01:42,985 Are you seeing anybody, or… 24 00:01:43,068 --> 00:01:44,193 Nope. 25 00:01:44,276 --> 00:01:46,235 - Wide open. - How is that possible? 26 00:01:46,318 --> 00:01:49,276 Well, my high school boyfriend spoiled me for life. 27 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:55,610 - Right. Me and my AMC Pacer. - Oh, the Pacer. Oh, man. 28 00:01:56,068 --> 00:01:59,193 - I put our names down for a table. - Oh, great. 29 00:01:59,276 --> 00:02:02,276 But earlier you said maybe, you might have dinner plans? 30 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,261 Oh. 31 00:02:03,276 --> 00:02:05,110 Was that in case I turned out to be a… 32 00:02:05,818 --> 00:02:07,568 Yeah, maybe. 33 00:02:07,651 --> 00:02:13,110 But, um, my fictional plans fell through, so I'm available. 34 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,818 Miranda had no plans that night. 35 00:02:16,901 --> 00:02:19,610 So she was thrilled when her cute new neighbor stopped by. 36 00:02:19,693 --> 00:02:21,776 - Hey. - Oh hey, 37 00:02:22,651 --> 00:02:24,276 I didn't you'd be home on a Saturday night. 38 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:25,360 Motherhood. 39 00:02:26,776 --> 00:02:28,318 So, what's my excuse? 40 00:02:28,693 --> 00:02:30,735 I just got Brady to sleep. 41 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,151 - Now, do you sing to him? - Only if he's been bad. 42 00:02:36,235 --> 00:02:38,776 Listen, I have these two courtside seats 43 00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:41,401 for the Knicks charity game at the Garden next Friday night. 44 00:02:42,026 --> 00:02:43,026 Would you want to go? 45 00:02:43,068 --> 00:02:45,276 - I would love to. - Great. 46 00:02:47,276 --> 00:02:50,318 - Great, I'll look for you there. - Oh, okay. 47 00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:52,901 Thanks, so much. 48 00:02:53,526 --> 00:02:54,526 Goodnight. 49 00:02:55,651 --> 00:02:56,651 You, too. 50 00:02:57,443 --> 00:03:01,193 Miranda wasn't sure if it was a charity game, or just charity. 51 00:03:02,526 --> 00:03:05,526 Hey, I didn't even ask what you were doing in Connecticut. 52 00:03:05,735 --> 00:03:06,735 Nothing. 53 00:03:07,193 --> 00:03:08,443 Well, for a change. 54 00:03:08,526 --> 00:03:12,485 I spent the last decade working my ass off in Denver. 55 00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,943 So, I decided to take a month off, 56 00:03:15,526 --> 00:03:17,318 spend some time with sea level. 57 00:03:17,651 --> 00:03:19,735 So I've just been relaxing in the country, 58 00:03:19,985 --> 00:03:24,401 - sorting through some things, you know. - Yeah, sometimes you need to get away. 59 00:03:26,276 --> 00:03:28,735 Sometimes you wonder why you stayed away so long. 60 00:03:34,651 --> 00:03:35,776 Well… 61 00:03:35,985 --> 00:03:38,443 - Ah. - This is my place. 62 00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:43,735 - It's a nice place. - Yeah, I love it here. 63 00:03:46,651 --> 00:03:49,776 I feel like I want to kiss you, but I… I… I… 64 00:03:50,985 --> 00:03:54,193 - I don't know what… - I know, it's very unclear. 65 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:57,735 Yeah, I mean, this isn't our first date. We've already dated. 66 00:03:57,818 --> 00:03:59,401 - And we've kissed. - Many times. 67 00:03:59,485 --> 00:04:00,485 Hours. 68 00:04:00,568 --> 00:04:03,110 We're in a lip lock for the most of 1982. 69 00:04:04,235 --> 00:04:05,860 So, um… 70 00:04:07,318 --> 00:04:08,735 What's one more kiss? 71 00:04:12,568 --> 00:04:14,943 Uh, oh. You mean business. 72 00:04:31,985 --> 00:04:33,360 Hmmm, it's… 73 00:04:33,901 --> 00:04:37,318 That's a lot better without the gearshift sticking up my ass. 74 00:04:41,443 --> 00:04:44,568 It was a romantic, hot summer night. 75 00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:48,610 Followed by a miserable hot summer day. 76 00:04:48,693 --> 00:04:51,860 which was the 14th miserable, hot summer day in a row. 77 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,568 Samantha Jones, how are you? 78 00:04:54,651 --> 00:04:56,901 Great, Phoebe. How are you? 79 00:04:56,985 --> 00:04:59,151 Refreshed. 80 00:04:59,235 --> 00:05:01,693 We just dropped by the SoHo house for a dip. 81 00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:04,651 I mean, what else can you possibly do in this heat, 82 00:05:04,735 --> 00:05:07,693 except sit by the pool and drink cocktails 83 00:05:07,776 --> 00:05:09,693 while they mist you with Evian. 84 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,568 - Isn't it the best? - Oh, it's fabulous. 85 00:05:12,651 --> 00:05:15,485 I'm running to a lunch, otherwise I'd be up there myself. 86 00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:17,776 Toodles. 87 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:20,901 There's a pool a block from my apartment, and I can't get in. 88 00:05:20,985 --> 00:05:22,901 - What pool? - At the SoHo house. 89 00:05:22,985 --> 00:05:25,985 You have to be a member and I'm on some kind of bullshit waitlist. 90 00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:29,818 - Don't they know who you are? - And more importantly who we are. 91 00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:31,860 We need to be at the pool with you. 92 00:05:31,943 --> 00:05:33,151 You know in high school, 93 00:05:33,235 --> 00:05:36,693 all you had to do is jump a fence and you'd in somebody's pool. 94 00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:40,568 Oh, speaking of high school, I saw my high school sweetheart. 95 00:05:40,985 --> 00:05:44,901 And I think I might like him. Again. 96 00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:47,985 - Is that crazy? - No, I love this. 97 00:05:48,235 --> 00:05:50,318 You could end up with your high-school boyfriend. 98 00:05:50,401 --> 00:05:52,110 Okay, let's not jump the gun. 99 00:05:52,193 --> 00:05:54,776 But it was the best date I've had in a long time. 100 00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:57,276 And I wasn't even thinking that it was a date. Oh! 101 00:05:57,818 --> 00:06:01,151 - And when he kissed me goodnight. - He kissed you goodnight? 102 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:05,276 I… It was wild, because I actually 103 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,943 remembered what it felt like to kiss him. 104 00:06:08,026 --> 00:06:11,485 Imagine if you slept with him. Talk about a homecoming. 105 00:06:11,568 --> 00:06:15,110 - No, we never went all the way. - Why not? 106 00:06:15,193 --> 00:06:17,360 Because we were kids. We wanted to wait. 107 00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:21,276 And now, I think we've waited long enough. 108 00:06:21,485 --> 00:06:22,818 You're marrying him. 109 00:06:22,901 --> 00:06:25,943 Will you stop? He doesn't even live in New York. He lives in Denver. 110 00:06:26,026 --> 00:06:28,776 People move. It would be so romantic. 111 00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:32,776 Oh tragic. Seriously, if I had the guy in high school, 112 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,735 what have I been doing for the past 20 years? 113 00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,276 Why did you two break up? 114 00:06:37,568 --> 00:06:41,068 I broke up because I thought, "Come on, there must be better guys out there." 115 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:43,568 Turns out, there aren't. 116 00:06:44,276 --> 00:06:47,860 That night, I started thinking about my retro relationship. 117 00:06:48,068 --> 00:06:50,943 Since high school, most women I know have acquired much better 118 00:06:51,026 --> 00:06:53,776 taste in clothes, hairstyles, and food. 119 00:06:54,110 --> 00:06:56,026 But what about in men? 120 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,443 Maybe we were better off when we thought less and kissed more. 121 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:07,526 Have we graduated past our ability to find true love 122 00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:09,943 when it comes to matters of the heart? 123 00:07:10,276 --> 00:07:12,360 Did we have it right in high school? 124 00:07:15,818 --> 00:07:19,110 Samantha was too cool to belong to any clubs in high school, 125 00:07:19,235 --> 00:07:22,651 so she refused to believe that any club was too cool for her now. 126 00:07:22,735 --> 00:07:26,235 Especially, since New York in August is not cool at all. 127 00:07:26,318 --> 00:07:28,068 - May I help you? - I hope so. 128 00:07:28,151 --> 00:07:30,693 I'd like to to know what's holding up my membership. 129 00:07:30,776 --> 00:07:32,818 I've been on the wait list since June. 130 00:07:32,901 --> 00:07:36,026 Yes, I'm sorry, but we are not currently admitting any new members. 131 00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:39,610 The pool is so fabulous, we're at capacity every day. 132 00:07:41,485 --> 00:07:43,610 Do you know who I am? 133 00:07:44,151 --> 00:07:48,235 No, I don't. We can't accommodate you right now. 134 00:07:48,693 --> 00:07:51,026 Well, can I at least use the restroom before I go? 135 00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:53,276 Or is there a wait list for that as well. 136 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,901 Down the corridor on your left, the door marked "WC". 137 00:08:06,735 --> 00:08:09,360 Miss, did you leave your card on the sink? 138 00:08:10,610 --> 00:08:14,526 Oh, yes. Yes, I did. Thank you so much. 139 00:08:14,651 --> 00:08:18,110 Since they didn't seem to know who she was at the SoHo house, 140 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:21,443 she figured she could be Annabelle Bronstein. 141 00:08:28,735 --> 00:08:32,735 The next day, Samantha tested the waters with her fake ID. 142 00:08:33,276 --> 00:08:34,276 Excuse me. 143 00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:37,651 Can I get you something to drink, Ms. Bronstein? 144 00:08:38,568 --> 00:08:41,693 Yes, but I'll just pay cash. 145 00:08:43,026 --> 00:08:46,360 And please, call me Annabelle. 146 00:08:47,943 --> 00:08:51,360 Meanwhile, a fight was about to break out in the cafeteria. 147 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:55,943 But this time, Cafeteria was a trendy restaurant in Chelsea. 148 00:08:57,151 --> 00:08:58,235 Thank you. 149 00:08:58,818 --> 00:09:00,401 God, I hate him. 150 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,110 - Come on, we're going over there. - Why? 151 00:09:04,235 --> 00:09:05,776 Because you're in tank top. 152 00:09:07,443 --> 00:09:09,735 - Hi. - Oh, hi. 153 00:09:09,818 --> 00:09:13,276 - You were here, what a small world. - That's Chelsea for you. 154 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,110 Can't swing a dick without running into someone you know. 155 00:09:18,443 --> 00:09:20,110 Well, we'd love to stay and chat, 156 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,818 but we have to go get our tuxes for the prom. 157 00:09:22,901 --> 00:09:24,318 Did you say "the prom"? 158 00:09:24,401 --> 00:09:29,068 Yes, it's a big fundraiser at the gay-lesbian-bi-transgender center. 159 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,151 I'm on the decorations committee. 160 00:09:31,235 --> 00:09:33,068 What's the theme? Queer and queerer? 161 00:09:35,026 --> 00:09:38,610 I have the best memories of my prom. I was the prom queen. 162 00:09:38,693 --> 00:09:40,818 Of course you were, darling. 163 00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:43,318 I missed my prom in high school, because… 164 00:09:43,401 --> 00:09:44,776 You were gay. 165 00:09:45,401 --> 00:09:48,901 No, my girlfriend and I broke up the night before, because… 166 00:09:48,985 --> 00:09:50,568 You were gay. 167 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,235 No, I wasn't gay until… 168 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,026 You were born? 169 00:09:56,776 --> 00:09:58,026 Never mind. 170 00:09:58,485 --> 00:10:00,568 Good bye, Charlotte. 171 00:10:00,776 --> 00:10:02,526 - Bye. - Bye, Marcus. 172 00:10:06,068 --> 00:10:09,901 Those two should be going to the gay, lesbian, and the prostitute prom. 173 00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:12,193 - Oh, be nice. - What? 174 00:10:12,443 --> 00:10:15,735 I happen to know that Marcus used to be a gay escort. 175 00:10:15,818 --> 00:10:19,651 - He was not. - Oh, honey, wake up and smell the K-Y. 176 00:10:19,735 --> 00:10:21,860 I was flipping through a vintage issue of Honcho. 177 00:10:21,943 --> 00:10:24,068 I saw his ad in the Rauncho section. 178 00:10:24,151 --> 00:10:28,068 He called himself Paul. Worst hustler name I ever heard. 179 00:10:28,485 --> 00:10:30,235 He and Stanford are in love. 180 00:10:30,318 --> 00:10:33,985 Yeah, well, according to Honcho, he used to be in love all over town. 181 00:10:34,485 --> 00:10:35,818 You are mistaken. 182 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:37,985 There's a picture. I'll send you the ad. 183 00:10:38,068 --> 00:10:40,776 - I don't wanna see it. - I'm sending it, prom queen. 184 00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:43,110 - What can I get you? - Cute waiter. 185 00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:48,860 I wish he didn't know this. 186 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,110 Number five, Fishman replaces Els. 187 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,026 Do you think Stanford knows? 188 00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:57,776 Probably not, so maybe we shouldn't talk about it in the Madison Square Garden. 189 00:11:00,568 --> 00:11:03,318 I don't think that these people know those people. 190 00:11:06,401 --> 00:11:10,901 - Look at how cute he is. - He is gorgeous. 191 00:11:14,485 --> 00:11:16,235 He looked at me, did you see him look at me? 192 00:11:16,318 --> 00:11:18,318 - He totally likes you. - You think? 193 00:11:18,443 --> 00:11:21,235 - Look at these seats. - You're right. 194 00:11:21,318 --> 00:11:23,443 These seats are too good to be casual. 195 00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:25,401 Time out. 196 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:31,235 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Knicks City Dancers. 197 00:11:31,318 --> 00:11:33,360 Did I ever tell you I was a cheerleader? 198 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:37,526 No. Because you knew I would mock you endlessly. 199 00:11:47,901 --> 00:11:50,776 I left a good job in the city 200 00:11:51,026 --> 00:11:53,735 Working for the man every night and day 201 00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:56,776 And I never lost one minute of sleeping 202 00:11:56,860 --> 00:11:59,276 I was worrying 'bout the way Things might've been 203 00:11:59,693 --> 00:12:01,568 You know that big wheel keep on turning 204 00:12:01,985 --> 00:12:03,860 Did you used to to that? 205 00:12:03,943 --> 00:12:07,526 No. We just used some herkies and some kicks. 206 00:12:08,151 --> 00:12:09,818 Rolling on the river 207 00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:15,526 Say we're rolling, rolling Yeah Rolling on the river 208 00:12:21,776 --> 00:12:25,026 - What is she doing? - The blonde one in front? 209 00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,276 Uh-huh. 210 00:12:26,401 --> 00:12:31,068 Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river 211 00:12:32,443 --> 00:12:34,818 - Whoo! - She's flirting with your boyfriend. 212 00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:36,610 He's not my boyfriend. 213 00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:41,151 What is she, like, 21? 214 00:12:43,193 --> 00:12:45,776 It was Friday night. It was the big game, 215 00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:48,568 and Miranda was jealous of a cheerleader. 216 00:12:51,693 --> 00:12:56,026 Two hours later, the game ended, and Miranda felt like the loser. 217 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,443 Okay, let's just go. 218 00:12:58,526 --> 00:13:00,943 No, you have to go over there and talk to him. 219 00:13:01,026 --> 00:13:04,026 - He's talking to her. - You are better than her. 220 00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:05,901 Go on, you can do it. 221 00:13:06,651 --> 00:13:08,401 Are you gonna do a herky now? 222 00:13:08,485 --> 00:13:10,776 Just you go over there and flirt a little bit. 223 00:13:12,568 --> 00:13:14,235 Go, go. 224 00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:19,526 The Knicks and Madison Square Garden thank you for coming. 225 00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:22,610 - Have a safe trip home. - That's it. I'm out. 226 00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:27,276 Meanwhile, I invited Jeremy to come over and watch a movie… 227 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:31,110 which in high school was code for, "Come over and make out." 228 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:34,068 And happily, it still was. 229 00:13:34,151 --> 00:13:37,235 Oh, I gotta run. Last train leaves in half an hour. 230 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,110 Aww. I think you should stay. 231 00:13:40,985 --> 00:13:43,235 I think we should go all the way. 232 00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:47,485 - All the way. - We never did, and now we can. 233 00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:50,776 And your mother won't walk in with her laundry and her Tab. 234 00:13:52,610 --> 00:13:53,693 That's true. 235 00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:57,818 But Carrie, I need to be honest with you about something. 236 00:13:58,276 --> 00:14:01,901 That's the worst thing you can hear from someone you really like. 237 00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:05,193 I'm not really just taking time off, I'm, uh… 238 00:14:07,026 --> 00:14:08,651 I'm sort of in a… 239 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,068 Mental institution. 240 00:14:14,735 --> 00:14:18,151 No, actually, that's the worst thing you can hear. 241 00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:22,193 I wanted a man who would commit, not a man who is committed. 242 00:14:22,443 --> 00:14:24,401 Apparently, we have to be more specific. 243 00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:28,110 - But how was he able to see you? - Ooh, did he escape? 244 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:33,235 No, he's voluntary. He says it's not really a mental institution, 245 00:14:33,318 --> 00:14:35,901 it's a therapeutic community. 246 00:14:35,985 --> 00:14:37,901 - Which one? - Juno-Spears? 247 00:14:37,985 --> 00:14:40,693 Oh, that's supposed to be a good one. I've had clients go there. 248 00:14:40,776 --> 00:14:42,360 Really? Why haven't we heard about that? 249 00:14:42,443 --> 00:14:43,943 Because I'm good at my job. 250 00:14:44,026 --> 00:14:45,901 No one wants to admit they're in a loony bin. 251 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,776 - On a first date. - It's all humiliating. 252 00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:51,526 Think about what we have to go through to date. 253 00:14:51,651 --> 00:14:55,151 I am 38 and I am competing with a cheerleader. 254 00:14:55,235 --> 00:14:56,651 Yeah, and even when you get the guy, 255 00:14:56,735 --> 00:14:59,193 you never know what fun surprise might be revealed. 256 00:14:59,276 --> 00:15:01,360 Let me tell you something, ladies. 257 00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:05,026 In a good relationship, there are no surprises. 258 00:15:05,485 --> 00:15:10,360 I know everything about Marcus, and Marcus knows everything about me. 259 00:15:15,235 --> 00:15:17,151 I don't think he knows everything. 260 00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,193 What? 261 00:15:21,818 --> 00:15:23,068 What? 262 00:15:23,276 --> 00:15:25,901 Charlotte, like all girls, learned in early age 263 00:15:25,985 --> 00:15:28,276 that only way to get rid of information 264 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,193 you don't want to have, is to pass it on. 265 00:15:32,068 --> 00:15:34,735 Oh my god. Is this real? 266 00:15:34,818 --> 00:15:38,110 Anthony found it in old issue of Honcho magazine. 267 00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:40,235 Let me see that. 268 00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:42,651 Ooh nice. 269 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,360 Marcus? 270 00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:48,568 - What is that? - Nothing. 271 00:15:49,235 --> 00:15:50,901 Okay, hand it over. 272 00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:54,485 Okay, hand it over. 273 00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:02,401 Where did this come from? 274 00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,401 Someone better tell me where this came from right now. 275 00:16:06,485 --> 00:16:07,735 I'm not kidding. 276 00:16:07,943 --> 00:16:10,443 - I got it from Carrie. - I got it from Miranda. 277 00:16:10,526 --> 00:16:12,651 - I got it from Charlotte. - I got it from Anthony, 278 00:16:12,735 --> 00:16:15,693 but I told him you and Marcus were very much in love. 279 00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,360 Charlotte was still a cheerleader for love. 280 00:16:18,443 --> 00:16:22,110 But like the Knicks, her team was having a bad season. 281 00:16:22,193 --> 00:16:23,193 Well… 282 00:16:23,651 --> 00:16:25,985 You think you know somebody… 283 00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:31,776 Excuse me. Which one of you is Annabelle Bronstein? 284 00:16:32,068 --> 00:16:33,110 I am. 285 00:16:33,235 --> 00:16:37,276 Well, that's impossible. Ms. Bronstein is in London for the week. 286 00:16:37,776 --> 00:16:41,276 No, I am Annabelle Bronstein. 287 00:16:42,193 --> 00:16:43,860 And she's British. 288 00:16:44,693 --> 00:16:47,443 As I was saying, dear sir, 289 00:16:47,693 --> 00:16:50,151 I am Annabelle Bronstein. 290 00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:53,943 I'm fairly certain you're not Annabelle, I've spoken to her on the phone. 291 00:16:54,901 --> 00:16:57,943 I am absolutely Annabelle Bronstein. 292 00:16:58,026 --> 00:17:03,818 And I do not pay 900 American dollars annually to be treated like this. 293 00:17:04,193 --> 00:17:07,985 Now, ring round the waiter and have him tally up the drinks. 294 00:17:09,026 --> 00:17:12,235 - What's with the accent? - She's got a case of a Madonna's. 295 00:17:12,318 --> 00:17:15,693 I'm sorry, but I know for a fact that Annabelle lost her card. 296 00:17:16,943 --> 00:17:18,026 Yes. 297 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,985 I thought I did. 298 00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:22,651 But it was on top of the telly. 299 00:17:23,193 --> 00:17:26,151 And Ms. Bronstein is from Sussex… 300 00:17:26,443 --> 00:17:31,485 and I'd venture to guess that you are not, in fact, from the UK. 301 00:17:32,735 --> 00:17:36,985 Well, that's true. I was raised in Inja. 302 00:17:37,235 --> 00:17:38,485 On any given day, 303 00:17:38,568 --> 00:17:41,860 there are a lot of versions of "crazy" right here in New York. 304 00:17:41,985 --> 00:17:46,193 Today, Annabelle Bronstein had multiple personalities… 305 00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:48,776 And at least two accents. 306 00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:51,693 Hey, Hobbes. 307 00:17:52,318 --> 00:17:54,068 Where did you disappear to after the game? 308 00:17:54,318 --> 00:17:58,943 Oh, I was gonna thank you, but you were talking to that girl. 309 00:17:59,318 --> 00:18:01,901 - What girl? - Some cheerleader. 310 00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:05,318 Oh. 311 00:18:05,443 --> 00:18:07,276 - Do you like her? - No. 312 00:18:09,901 --> 00:18:11,318 I like someone else. 313 00:18:13,985 --> 00:18:14,985 You. 314 00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:17,818 This cheered Miranda up immediately. 315 00:18:17,901 --> 00:18:19,693 Now, see, how would I know that? 316 00:18:21,526 --> 00:18:22,526 Well… 317 00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:27,026 Would it be any clearer… 318 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:29,860 if I did this? 319 00:18:41,901 --> 00:18:43,485 - Hi, Mrs. McCaffrey. - Hello, Mrs. McCaffrey. 320 00:18:47,901 --> 00:18:49,526 I wanted you to have these. 321 00:18:50,151 --> 00:18:51,193 Marbles. 322 00:18:51,693 --> 00:18:54,985 In case I lose any more of mine, I wanna know where I can find the stash. 323 00:18:55,193 --> 00:18:58,693 - How are you? Do you wanna come in? - She asked with trepidation. 324 00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:00,568 No. I think it's great what you're doing… 325 00:19:00,651 --> 00:19:03,735 I know I probably threw you for a loop the other day, but, erm… 326 00:19:04,401 --> 00:19:07,318 I should probably just come right out and say something about this, 327 00:19:07,401 --> 00:19:10,985 but I… Truth is, I haven't worked out my rap on it yet. 328 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,943 Well, it's a tough thing to slip in. 329 00:19:14,026 --> 00:19:18,235 Yeah, it is. "Hi, I might be crazy. Would you like to share an appetizer?" 330 00:19:20,068 --> 00:19:23,151 The thing is I think I made it sound worse than it is. 331 00:19:23,776 --> 00:19:26,360 You know, if you saw Juno-Spears, you'd see that it's not a cuckoo's nest. 332 00:19:26,443 --> 00:19:29,485 It's more like… It's like Canyon Ranch for the brain. 333 00:19:29,776 --> 00:19:33,276 - Do they have Pilates? - They do have Pilates. 334 00:19:34,235 --> 00:19:38,526 I don't wanna lie to you, I am going through some pretty heavy stuff, 335 00:19:39,276 --> 00:19:40,693 Soul searching, really. 336 00:19:41,485 --> 00:19:45,985 Trying to figure out why some things seem to be harder for me 337 00:19:46,068 --> 00:19:47,401 then they are for other people. 338 00:19:48,193 --> 00:19:50,110 I think my family has something to do with it. 339 00:19:51,068 --> 00:19:52,901 It's always good to blame the parents, right? 340 00:19:52,985 --> 00:19:53,886 Right. 341 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,318 So, I figured I could spend the next 5 years in therapy 342 00:19:56,401 --> 00:19:59,693 or just spend the next month and really deal with it intensively right now. 343 00:19:59,776 --> 00:20:02,568 - It's just more efficient. - Well, you'll make a very good case. 344 00:20:03,151 --> 00:20:04,318 That's what my doctor said. 345 00:20:05,985 --> 00:20:07,693 Well, that's it. Ta-da! 346 00:20:07,818 --> 00:20:10,610 I just wanted to explain myself, 347 00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:13,276 so that I didn't become known eternally 348 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,151 as that nutcase you dated back in high school. 349 00:20:16,235 --> 00:20:19,860 How about my high school boyfriend who was the best kisser ever. 350 00:20:19,943 --> 00:20:21,235 I could live with that. 351 00:20:22,026 --> 00:20:24,110 You're not bad yourself either, you know. 352 00:20:25,235 --> 00:20:27,610 That night, we went all the way. 353 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:28,985 And we weren't the only ones. 354 00:20:29,318 --> 00:20:33,985 Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river 355 00:20:37,318 --> 00:20:38,318 All right 356 00:20:40,235 --> 00:20:43,401 The next afternoon, my other crazy boyfriend stopped by. 357 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,901 It's true. Marcus was a gay escort. 358 00:20:47,693 --> 00:20:49,860 But he's been off the market since 1992. 359 00:20:49,943 --> 00:20:51,068 So you talked about it? 360 00:20:51,151 --> 00:20:55,485 Yes, and he says he did it just to put himself through dance classes. 361 00:20:55,943 --> 00:20:58,776 But if that's true, then why keep it a secret? 362 00:20:59,235 --> 00:21:00,693 Maybe he was embarrassed. 363 00:21:01,110 --> 00:21:04,235 Yes, but it's not the escort thing, 364 00:21:04,318 --> 00:21:07,818 but the secret thing that's bothering me. I was the last to know. 365 00:21:08,318 --> 00:21:10,068 I don't wanna hear the truth from some 366 00:21:10,151 --> 00:21:12,693 bitchy queen with back issues of Honcho. 367 00:21:13,193 --> 00:21:14,193 So… 368 00:21:15,485 --> 00:21:16,568 we broke up. 369 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,276 - Oh, Stanny, really? - Yes. 370 00:21:20,943 --> 00:21:23,318 And right before the prom. 371 00:21:23,568 --> 00:21:26,318 And I still have to go, because I'm on the decorations committee. 372 00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:28,818 And I have no date again. 373 00:21:29,985 --> 00:21:32,276 - When is it? - Tomorrow night. 374 00:21:32,610 --> 00:21:35,110 Will you please, please, please go with me? 375 00:21:35,193 --> 00:21:38,276 I can't. I have to visit my boyfriend at the asylum. 376 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,651 Of course you do. 377 00:21:39,985 --> 00:21:41,943 He wants me to see the place for myself. 378 00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:43,901 It supposed to be like Canyon Ranch. 379 00:21:44,235 --> 00:21:46,401 - Honey. - I know. 380 00:21:47,068 --> 00:21:49,360 - But I like him. - You'd have to. 381 00:21:49,443 --> 00:21:51,818 And who are we to say, he's got issues, he's getting help? 382 00:21:51,901 --> 00:21:53,693 Usually, that's considered a good thing. 383 00:21:53,901 --> 00:21:56,276 And it's New York, everybody's insane. 384 00:21:56,651 --> 00:21:58,776 - You slept with him, didn't you? - Yes. 385 00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:02,360 Oh, that's where the problems begin. 386 00:22:02,443 --> 00:22:06,860 You sleep with someone, you start rationalizing away all the red flags. 387 00:22:06,943 --> 00:22:08,860 At least he was honest about it. 388 00:22:09,068 --> 00:22:10,068 Yes. 389 00:22:10,735 --> 00:22:12,568 Unlike Paul. 390 00:22:24,151 --> 00:22:25,151 Hi. 391 00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:27,735 Apparently, the Juno-Spears Center 392 00:22:27,818 --> 00:22:30,235 was harder than the SoHo house to get into. 393 00:22:30,776 --> 00:22:31,901 Or out of. 394 00:22:39,443 --> 00:22:40,818 Even as a visitor, 395 00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:44,318 I could see how this was a very relaxing place to get away to. 396 00:22:44,485 --> 00:22:45,485 Mmm. 397 00:22:46,443 --> 00:22:48,110 - It's kinda nice, huh? - Hmm. 398 00:22:48,193 --> 00:22:50,943 There are great hiking trails all around here. 399 00:22:51,151 --> 00:22:54,693 - Maybe later we can do a hike. - Oh, I don't really hike. 400 00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:55,985 Neither do I. 401 00:22:56,651 --> 00:22:58,943 But I will fill you in on something I discovered. 402 00:22:59,276 --> 00:23:00,276 Hiking… 403 00:23:01,235 --> 00:23:02,568 Is walking. 404 00:23:02,818 --> 00:23:04,193 - Really? - Yes, hiking is walking. 405 00:23:04,276 --> 00:23:07,443 I started to think, maybe the Juno-Spears Center 406 00:23:07,526 --> 00:23:09,526 should be mandatory for New Yorkers. 407 00:23:09,735 --> 00:23:11,860 Like the Hamptons, or Fire Island. 408 00:23:11,943 --> 00:23:13,026 Feces! 409 00:23:13,485 --> 00:23:15,901 Feces! Feces! 410 00:23:16,110 --> 00:23:17,235 - Get him! - Feces! 411 00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:24,068 Feces, feces, feces… 412 00:23:24,151 --> 00:23:26,985 I guess that doesn't happen very often at Canyon Ranch, huh? 413 00:23:27,526 --> 00:23:28,860 I've never been. 414 00:23:29,318 --> 00:23:30,318 It might. 415 00:23:30,651 --> 00:23:34,193 Who am I kidding, this is a full-on psychiatric facility. 416 00:23:34,443 --> 00:23:35,526 With Pilates. 417 00:23:35,818 --> 00:23:37,776 Feces! Feces! 418 00:23:38,026 --> 00:23:40,193 You're definitely the sanest person here. 419 00:23:40,443 --> 00:23:41,386 Well, thank you. 420 00:23:41,401 --> 00:23:43,443 That's kinda like being the best house on a bad block. 421 00:23:43,526 --> 00:23:45,568 People would advise against buying it. 422 00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:49,068 Or maybe it just… It wasn't the wisest thing 423 00:23:49,193 --> 00:23:51,193 to start something while I was still in here. 424 00:23:53,610 --> 00:23:57,193 Maybe when I get out in eight to ten months. 425 00:23:59,151 --> 00:24:00,568 Eight to ten months? 426 00:24:01,401 --> 00:24:03,901 Yeah, my doctor still thinks I have a lot of work to do. 427 00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:08,068 And to be honest with you, I'm comfortable here. 428 00:24:08,151 --> 00:24:13,735 I kinda like it. I like that everybody's craziness is out in the open. 429 00:24:15,901 --> 00:24:17,026 Yeah. 430 00:24:18,110 --> 00:24:19,110 Well… 431 00:24:19,943 --> 00:24:22,943 - I loved seeing you. - I loved seeing you again. 432 00:24:25,485 --> 00:24:26,860 But I understand. 433 00:24:27,526 --> 00:24:30,818 We're just in very different places right now. 434 00:24:32,151 --> 00:24:36,026 Ironically, it was the sanest breakup I ever had. 435 00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:43,235 And now, the Queen and Queen of our prom… 436 00:24:43,485 --> 00:24:47,276 Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford Blatch. 437 00:24:52,276 --> 00:24:56,360 - Oh, my God, I love this song. - Me, too. 438 00:24:57,610 --> 00:24:59,235 Oh, thank you very much. 439 00:24:59,776 --> 00:25:01,985 If you leave me now 440 00:25:02,068 --> 00:25:06,110 You take away the biggest part of me 441 00:25:08,485 --> 00:25:12,693 Ooh no, baby, please don't go 442 00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:15,610 - This is my best prom ever. - Aww. 443 00:25:15,776 --> 00:25:16,860 Thank you for coming. 444 00:25:16,985 --> 00:25:20,110 Oh, believe me I'm glad to be back with the normal people. 445 00:25:21,443 --> 00:25:23,068 - You know the craziest thing of all? - Hmm? 446 00:25:23,985 --> 00:25:28,026 I somehow thought that after everything I've been through, 447 00:25:28,401 --> 00:25:31,318 I might end up with my high school boyfriend. 448 00:25:32,610 --> 00:25:33,610 Yeah… 449 00:25:33,776 --> 00:25:36,026 I don't think my story's gonna get tied up like that. 450 00:25:36,110 --> 00:25:37,901 Your boyfriend might get tied up. 451 00:25:37,985 --> 00:25:39,443 And taken away. 452 00:25:39,651 --> 00:25:42,610 Okay, no more jokes, I might be dating him in eight to ten months. 453 00:25:45,818 --> 00:25:47,568 - Oh. - May I cut in? 454 00:25:48,526 --> 00:25:51,485 No, thank you. I already have an escort. 455 00:25:55,318 --> 00:25:57,651 Honey, I didn't tell you because it was part of my past. 456 00:25:58,235 --> 00:25:59,735 It's not who I am anymore. 457 00:26:00,568 --> 00:26:02,443 I was really messed up back then. 458 00:26:02,776 --> 00:26:04,401 But I've got it together now. 459 00:26:05,985 --> 00:26:07,526 And it's prom night, 460 00:26:07,818 --> 00:26:09,151 and we have to have a dance. 461 00:26:13,193 --> 00:26:14,985 Why don't I get some punch? 462 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:24,651 Just tell me one thing. 463 00:26:25,235 --> 00:26:30,193 Did you ever, ever sleep with that little bitchy pine nut Anthony? 464 00:26:30,568 --> 00:26:32,193 No. God, no. 465 00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:40,026 Ooh no, baby, please don't go 466 00:26:49,443 --> 00:26:54,401 Ooh girl, just got to have you By my side 467 00:26:57,860 --> 00:27:00,818 So, maybe it won't look the way you thought it'd look in high school. 468 00:27:01,610 --> 00:27:04,401 But it's good to remember love is possible. 469 00:27:07,068 --> 00:27:08,651 Anything is possible. 470 00:27:09,110 --> 00:27:10,985 This is New York. 471 00:27:16,485 --> 00:27:20,568 Ooh mama, I just got to have your lovin'