1 00:01:12,888 --> 00:01:15,682 Cheater, cheater, cheater Cheater, cheater bitch 2 00:01:15,766 --> 00:01:17,100 Cheater, cheater bitch, cheater… 3 00:01:17,184 --> 00:01:18,268 What's that? 4 00:01:18,352 --> 00:01:21,063 Summer's making TikToks now, calling me out. 5 00:01:21,146 --> 00:01:24,233 Cheater, cheater bitch Cheater, cheater, cheater bitch 6 00:01:24,816 --> 00:01:26,193 It's been a week of this shit. 7 00:01:26,276 --> 00:01:27,736 I'm over it. 8 00:01:29,947 --> 00:01:32,824 Hate to say it, song kind of slaps. 9 00:01:32,908 --> 00:01:34,034 It's a total banger. 10 00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:36,870 - It's got that… - Yeah. 11 00:01:37,663 --> 00:01:40,249 Cheater, cheater, cheater Cheater, cheater bitch 12 00:01:40,332 --> 00:01:42,668 Cheater, cheater, cheater Cheater, cheater bitch 13 00:01:42,751 --> 00:01:43,737 Cheater, cheater bitch 14 00:01:43,752 --> 00:01:45,796 - Cheater bitch… - I can hear you guys. 15 00:01:46,463 --> 00:01:47,714 Sorry. 16 00:01:47,798 --> 00:01:49,842 How was dinner with your folks? 17 00:01:49,925 --> 00:01:52,553 Great. I've been teaching my dad how to play Call of Duty. 18 00:01:52,636 --> 00:01:54,847 We stayed up all night shit-talking twelve-year-olds. 19 00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:57,641 - They're destroying you two, aren't they? - Yeah. They're assholes. 20 00:01:58,851 --> 00:02:01,061 Also, you remember my army buddy, Jorge? 21 00:02:01,144 --> 00:02:02,437 The guy I hid from? 22 00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:05,691 He's coming back to town, and I'm actually gonna hang with him. 23 00:02:05,774 --> 00:02:08,986 That's great. In the therapy biz, we'd say you're trending upward. 24 00:02:09,069 --> 00:02:10,362 Thanks. 25 00:02:10,445 --> 00:02:13,407 Still, I guess the best thing about all this, 26 00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:16,159 I discovered sitting in the shower. 27 00:02:16,869 --> 00:02:19,079 - I don't think I'm ever going back. - Tell me about it. 28 00:02:19,162 --> 00:02:22,708 Until I got my shower stool, I don't think I'd ever washed my feet. 29 00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:24,667 That's nasty. 30 00:02:25,294 --> 00:02:26,962 Dad, you're oversharing again. 31 00:02:27,838 --> 00:02:29,464 Why haven't you left? 32 00:02:31,425 --> 00:02:32,801 Finally. Are we going? 33 00:02:32,885 --> 00:02:34,887 No, wait. I gotta fill my water bottle again. 34 00:02:34,970 --> 00:02:36,597 Okay, that's gonna take an hour. 35 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,348 I'm gonna start my hiking conversation now. 36 00:02:38,432 --> 00:02:41,810 Charlie and I signed the paperwork. We've decided to adopt. 37 00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:43,020 Yay! 38 00:02:43,103 --> 00:02:44,188 - Hey! - Congratulations. 39 00:02:44,271 --> 00:02:45,939 - Thank you. - How did you land on adoption 40 00:02:46,023 --> 00:02:48,734 as opposed to just spotting a baby you like and having Liz steal it for you? 41 00:02:48,817 --> 00:02:50,527 I would totally steal a baby. 42 00:02:50,611 --> 00:02:51,820 We know. 43 00:02:51,904 --> 00:02:54,740 So, this way, at parties I can get all emotional and be like, 44 00:02:54,823 --> 00:02:56,575 "It's like our baby adopted us." 45 00:02:56,658 --> 00:02:58,243 That's the best. 46 00:02:58,327 --> 00:02:59,578 - Yeah. - You'd be good at that. 47 00:02:59,661 --> 00:03:01,330 I'm just excited to see you with a dad bod. 48 00:03:01,413 --> 00:03:03,874 So was I, but I lost a coin toss with Charlie 49 00:03:03,957 --> 00:03:07,085 to see who gets to let themselves go and who has to stay shaved and ripped. 50 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,713 Guys, though, we can't get too excited, 51 00:03:09,795 --> 00:03:12,132 because Stuart said it might take forever. 52 00:03:12,716 --> 00:03:13,717 But I don't get it. 53 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,887 How did you navigate the Mebane deal without upsetting the partners? 54 00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:20,098 You know, I just got in the sea about it and I figured it all out. 55 00:03:20,182 --> 00:03:23,310 - Congrats. - Got in the sea about it? I like it. 56 00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:25,395 That's my favorite way to solve problems. 57 00:03:27,606 --> 00:03:28,649 Anyway, I… 58 00:03:28,732 --> 00:03:32,110 You know, I just stopped by to talk shop with my mentor. 59 00:03:32,194 --> 00:03:33,529 - That'd be me. - That guy. 60 00:03:33,612 --> 00:03:36,073 And he also told me that you were gonna be here. 61 00:03:36,156 --> 00:03:39,576 So I decided to put on my tightest pants 62 00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:41,286 and remind you that the guy 63 00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:44,248 who asked you out on your voicemail still exists. 64 00:03:44,331 --> 00:03:45,582 - Okay. - Unfortunately, 65 00:03:45,666 --> 00:03:47,251 I think I put on a couple of pounds 66 00:03:47,334 --> 00:03:51,004 'cause these bad boys are cutting off the circulation to my gooch. 67 00:03:51,088 --> 00:03:52,506 They are tight. 68 00:03:52,589 --> 00:03:54,925 I'm gonna head out, peel myself out of these pants. 69 00:03:55,008 --> 00:03:56,093 - See you later. - Bye. 70 00:03:56,176 --> 00:03:57,845 - See you, Derrick. - Bye. 71 00:03:58,512 --> 00:04:00,848 How do you let those two scoops just walk away? 72 00:04:01,598 --> 00:04:04,059 What I'd do to that if I was a woman. 73 00:04:04,142 --> 00:04:06,103 Good news, Derek, you don't have to be a woman. 74 00:04:06,186 --> 00:04:08,146 - Grab a spoon. - What's the spoon for? 75 00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:09,898 All right, listen up. 76 00:04:09,982 --> 00:04:13,443 I'll admit, okay, I let that get away from me a bit. 77 00:04:13,527 --> 00:04:17,531 After the stuff happened with my mom, D-Two did call to check in on her, 78 00:04:17,614 --> 00:04:20,868 but I didn't answer because I felt bad that I didn't reach out first 79 00:04:20,951 --> 00:04:22,870 - after I bailed on him. - Wow. 80 00:04:22,953 --> 00:04:26,290 Plus, now I think I'm a little intimidated because if we do hook up, 81 00:04:26,373 --> 00:04:28,542 then he would be, like, the hottest guy I've ever been with. 82 00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:29,626 - Yeah. - Right. 83 00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:30,878 One of the hottest. 84 00:04:30,961 --> 00:04:32,713 No. The hottest by far. 85 00:04:32,796 --> 00:04:34,131 Did you see that guy? 86 00:04:34,214 --> 00:04:37,301 I am this close to throwing it all away for a threesome with the Dereks. 87 00:04:38,218 --> 00:04:39,344 Well, thanks for including me. 88 00:04:39,428 --> 00:04:40,679 Only if the other one's there. 89 00:04:40,762 --> 00:04:44,892 Okay. Yes, he is very attractive, 90 00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:47,561 but who's Gaby's second hottest? 91 00:04:49,104 --> 00:04:50,731 - Keith? - Oh, my God! Keith. 92 00:04:50,814 --> 00:04:52,774 - Keith was hot. - Keith. Yeah. 93 00:04:52,858 --> 00:04:55,152 - He was crazy hot. - I still text him. 94 00:04:55,235 --> 00:04:57,321 So, we have Derrick. 95 00:04:57,404 --> 00:04:59,489 Then we have Keith coming in a hot second. 96 00:04:59,573 --> 00:05:01,575 - Yeah. - Then we have… 97 00:05:02,951 --> 00:05:03,952 Jimmy. 98 00:05:05,287 --> 00:05:06,287 Jimmy. 99 00:05:06,914 --> 00:05:08,749 - Joey. - Oh, my God! 100 00:05:08,832 --> 00:05:11,001 - Oh, my God. - Joey who lives in his van? Joey? 101 00:05:11,084 --> 00:05:12,544 - Yeah. - Yeah, a cool van. 102 00:05:12,628 --> 00:05:14,129 And he had a big ol' dick. 103 00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:15,589 Can't beat that. 104 00:05:15,672 --> 00:05:16,882 - No. - Fuck Joey. 105 00:05:16,964 --> 00:05:20,344 Are you okay, boo? I mean, I'll put you in fourth. 106 00:05:20,427 --> 00:05:22,679 I'm fucking third, and you all know it. 107 00:05:23,263 --> 00:05:24,264 Let's go hiking. 108 00:05:55,712 --> 00:05:58,382 Cheater, cheater, cheater Cheater, cheater bitch 109 00:05:58,465 --> 00:06:00,634 Cheater, cheater bitch, cheater… 110 00:06:02,219 --> 00:06:03,220 Summer's talented. 111 00:06:03,303 --> 00:06:04,638 I know. It's so catchy. 112 00:06:04,721 --> 00:06:06,890 - Yeah. - I know you're seeing Alice later, 113 00:06:06,974 --> 00:06:09,601 so I just thought you should know what she's dealing with. 114 00:06:10,602 --> 00:06:11,602 Hello? 115 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,020 Come on in, Dan. 116 00:06:14,481 --> 00:06:16,316 Sorry, but where were you sitting? 117 00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:18,234 Right there. 118 00:06:19,361 --> 00:06:21,154 He can't handle the warm spot. 119 00:06:21,238 --> 00:06:23,657 Then you two will have plenty to talk about. 120 00:06:25,576 --> 00:06:27,077 Have a seat, Dan. 121 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,038 Stan's wedding is tomorrow. 122 00:06:31,248 --> 00:06:34,585 He's my closest friend, but he'll be busy getting married, 123 00:06:34,668 --> 00:06:37,921 and sitting alone at a table of strangers is my nightmare, 124 00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:40,799 so I don't think I can do it. 125 00:06:41,425 --> 00:06:43,635 Dan, you know how I'm always preaching about forward motion? 126 00:06:44,219 --> 00:06:46,805 Forging this friendship with Stan is a huge breakthrough, 127 00:06:46,889 --> 00:06:51,059 but I think maybe it also gave you the opportunity to stop. 128 00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:52,811 Stopping can be forward motion. 129 00:06:52,895 --> 00:06:54,354 Stopping can't be forward motion. 130 00:06:54,938 --> 00:06:57,232 Look, big part of friendship is being there for each other. 131 00:06:58,108 --> 00:06:59,693 Do you wanna show up for Stan or not? 132 00:07:02,112 --> 00:07:04,823 Yeah. I'd love to be there for him. 133 00:07:04,907 --> 00:07:06,450 Then you're going to that wedding. 134 00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:10,078 I doubt it. I'm terrified and stubborn. It's a deadly combo. 135 00:07:10,162 --> 00:07:13,790 Dan, I'm sorry, but in terms of patients, I'm on a fucking hot streak. 136 00:07:13,874 --> 00:07:16,710 I might be undefeatable, which means you and I, 137 00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:18,295 we gotta break through this wall. 138 00:07:18,378 --> 00:07:19,755 In one session? 139 00:07:19,838 --> 00:07:21,381 You're right, that's insane. 140 00:07:22,007 --> 00:07:24,426 Okay. We're gonna spend the whole day together. 141 00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:27,804 You and I are gonna kick this problem's ass. Starting now. 142 00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:32,643 Shit. You know what? I have another patient scheduled for later, 143 00:07:32,726 --> 00:07:34,102 and I'm supposed to get my teeth cleaned. 144 00:07:34,186 --> 00:07:35,896 All right, I need to make some phone calls 145 00:07:35,979 --> 00:07:38,106 and then we're gonna kick ass. Starting now. 146 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,402 It's your own warm spot, Dan. You're fine. 147 00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,240 Thanks for bringing me coffee again. 148 00:07:46,323 --> 00:07:47,991 Even though I do have class in five minutes, so… 149 00:07:48,075 --> 00:07:49,159 - That's okay. - Yeah. 150 00:07:49,243 --> 00:07:51,411 I was gonna tell you all about myself, but I'll condense it. 151 00:07:51,495 --> 00:07:52,397 Please do. 152 00:07:52,412 --> 00:07:54,081 I'm from Massachusetts. 153 00:07:54,164 --> 00:07:55,415 Allergic to penicillin. 154 00:07:55,499 --> 00:07:58,502 I love anything Alfredo, even though I'm not great with dairy. 155 00:07:59,586 --> 00:08:02,506 I once met Craig from Craigslist. Terrible dude. 156 00:08:04,132 --> 00:08:05,884 Wow, there's, like, two deal-breakers in there. 157 00:08:05,968 --> 00:08:06,968 Which ones? 158 00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:09,137 Well, definitely the Alfredo-making-you-shit-your-pants part. 159 00:08:09,221 --> 00:08:10,264 Worth it. 160 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,002 Oh, shit. 161 00:08:14,017 --> 00:08:15,769 - What? - It's Keisha. Don't look. 162 00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:20,983 Wow. Yeah, she's coming. Is she a threat? Should we run? 163 00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:23,193 No, she's here on a track scholarship. She'll catch us. 164 00:08:23,277 --> 00:08:24,528 - Jesus. - Hey. 165 00:08:24,611 --> 00:08:25,821 What's up? 166 00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:30,868 My essay on family systems is due, like, right now. 167 00:08:30,951 --> 00:08:32,870 Could you read it and give me notes? 168 00:08:32,953 --> 00:08:33,939 Just to be clear, 169 00:08:33,954 --> 00:08:37,124 you want me to read and fix it before you give it to me to read again? 170 00:08:37,207 --> 00:08:38,250 Yes, please. 171 00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:39,543 Ovaries of steel. I like it. 172 00:08:39,626 --> 00:08:41,336 - Here. Give it to me. - Thank you. 173 00:08:42,754 --> 00:08:44,381 Sorry. Once again. 174 00:08:44,464 --> 00:08:46,717 It's okay, because now I'm gonna use your guilt 175 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,260 to make you go on a real date with me later. 176 00:08:48,343 --> 00:08:50,095 - Really? - I'll go out with you right now. 177 00:08:50,179 --> 00:08:51,180 - Wait, what? - What? 178 00:08:51,263 --> 00:08:54,600 You're always talking about self-care. I mean, this is self-care. 179 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:57,686 Also, I have it on good authority that her coochie is on lock. 180 00:08:57,769 --> 00:08:58,979 And yours is open for business? 181 00:08:59,062 --> 00:09:00,063 Inappropriate. 182 00:09:00,981 --> 00:09:02,482 But, yeah. 24-7. 183 00:09:02,566 --> 00:09:04,151 I'm not sure what your deal is, Keisha, 184 00:09:04,234 --> 00:09:06,153 but you should probably patch things up with your dad. 185 00:09:07,196 --> 00:09:09,072 Keisha, do not fuck with my game. 186 00:09:09,156 --> 00:09:11,116 Derrick, let's do it. This afternoon. 187 00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:13,744 - All right. - Wow. 188 00:09:15,829 --> 00:09:18,624 Well, I had to. I needed to shoot my shot. 189 00:09:19,166 --> 00:09:20,167 Excuse you. 190 00:09:20,834 --> 00:09:22,211 Is this gonna affect my grade? 191 00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:24,213 I'm gonna level with you, Keisha, probably. 192 00:09:24,755 --> 00:09:25,755 Probably. 193 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,721 Okay, why would anyone wanna sit at a communal table? 194 00:09:32,804 --> 00:09:34,972 This is classic exposure therapy, Dan. 195 00:09:36,015 --> 00:09:38,018 Did you know that fear-inducing situations, 196 00:09:38,101 --> 00:09:41,230 they activate this little cluster of neurons in your amygdala? 197 00:09:41,938 --> 00:09:45,400 And exposure therapy can help silence those fear neurons. 198 00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:46,693 - No way. - Yeah. 199 00:09:47,361 --> 00:09:48,654 I didn't follow any of that. 200 00:09:48,737 --> 00:09:50,239 You just trust me. It works. 201 00:09:51,406 --> 00:09:54,368 I used to be afraid of spiders, for example, so I got this book on 'em. 202 00:09:54,451 --> 00:09:56,119 I learned their weird little ways, 203 00:09:56,203 --> 00:09:59,706 and eventually I got to the point I could catch one. 204 00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:04,211 And now, if I see one of those weird little fuckers, 205 00:10:04,294 --> 00:10:07,172 I look him dead in his eight little eyes and I say, "I'm the boss!" 206 00:10:09,550 --> 00:10:11,301 - Cool. - Got the pancakes, huh? 207 00:10:11,385 --> 00:10:13,262 I did. They're fucking insane. 208 00:10:13,345 --> 00:10:15,180 Yeah. What about you? 209 00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,893 Yeah. These are pancakes, and I got them. 210 00:10:21,061 --> 00:10:23,689 - Yeah, it's fucking insane. - Yeah. 211 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:28,846 Excuse me for one second. 212 00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:30,946 - It's… - Hey, is everything okay? 213 00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:32,990 Did you see the rainbow this morning? 214 00:10:34,157 --> 00:10:37,828 Now that he's gone, we don't need to talk anymore, so… 215 00:10:38,495 --> 00:10:40,706 - Little force field. - Hey. 216 00:10:40,789 --> 00:10:43,041 I have to go take care of something at my daughter's school. 217 00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:45,961 Thank God. This was a bad idea. 218 00:10:46,962 --> 00:10:49,715 Hey. You sure you're cool being done here? 219 00:10:50,215 --> 00:10:52,509 Look, I'm sorry I broke your hot streak. 220 00:10:56,263 --> 00:11:00,017 Connor still hasn't called me since he went back to college. 221 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:03,228 Have you ever been ghosted by something you squeezed out of your hoo? 222 00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:04,312 I have not. 223 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:09,193 Hey, come on by the microbrewery. 224 00:11:09,276 --> 00:11:10,736 I wanna show you something. 225 00:11:10,819 --> 00:11:14,114 I hope it's a list of synonyms for microbrewery. 226 00:11:14,198 --> 00:11:15,198 So pretentious. 227 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,534 - Good pretentious? - Maybe. 228 00:11:17,618 --> 00:11:18,619 See you later. 229 00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:24,791 Paul. Hi. Cool. 230 00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:26,418 This is my friend Mac. 231 00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:28,795 No, we don't need to do this. I'm heading in. 232 00:11:28,879 --> 00:11:29,880 Okay. 233 00:11:32,466 --> 00:11:34,218 - For me? - Yeah. 234 00:11:36,178 --> 00:11:37,178 You gonna eat that? 235 00:11:37,221 --> 00:11:40,557 This thing that I paid for and then brought over here to the table? 236 00:11:40,641 --> 00:11:41,642 I don't know. 237 00:11:42,893 --> 00:11:45,604 Hey, Paul… No way, you have a friend? 238 00:11:45,687 --> 00:11:47,397 We're not putting labels on it. 239 00:11:48,023 --> 00:11:49,858 I am Ray and we are in love. 240 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,276 Adorable. 241 00:11:52,319 --> 00:11:53,487 I just wanted to let you know 242 00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:56,073 that what you saw with Mac and me was perfectly innocent. 243 00:11:56,990 --> 00:12:01,328 When you make a point to come inside and overexplain yourself, 244 00:12:02,079 --> 00:12:04,331 then I definitely believe you. 245 00:12:04,915 --> 00:12:09,962 Also, could you do me a solid and not mention this to Derek? 246 00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:11,964 The plot thickens. There's a Derek. 247 00:12:12,047 --> 00:12:13,090 I don't love him. 248 00:12:13,173 --> 00:12:18,345 Listen, Mac and I are just old friends, and my husband doesn't like him. 249 00:12:18,428 --> 00:12:20,597 I feel compelled to ask. 250 00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:23,684 This Mac guy… Stupid name, by the way. 251 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,852 Agreed. 252 00:12:24,935 --> 00:12:26,228 Is he married? 253 00:12:27,312 --> 00:12:29,606 - No. - Does he listen to you? 254 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:32,985 Does he seem to give a shit about your problems? 255 00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:35,571 Yes. That's friendship. 256 00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:37,906 Yeah, sure. 257 00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:40,576 - Ray, you're single. - Yes. 258 00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:44,371 Do you hang out with attractive women, just so that they can be friends? 259 00:12:44,454 --> 00:12:45,539 Yes, one. 260 00:12:45,622 --> 00:12:46,665 See? 261 00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:49,334 I keep waiting for her to make a mistake. 262 00:12:49,418 --> 00:12:50,419 And then… 263 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:55,090 So, that's two votes for "Mac wants to fuck you." 264 00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:58,552 Okay, Statler and Waldorf, you're both wrong. 265 00:12:58,635 --> 00:13:00,095 No one wants to fuck me. 266 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:04,808 I mean, obviously people wanna fuck me, but you know what I meant. 267 00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:08,228 How do you know her? 268 00:13:08,937 --> 00:13:10,772 She almost shit in my desk once. 269 00:13:11,523 --> 00:13:17,196 So, the fight started when Summer played the "cheater bitch" video 270 00:13:17,279 --> 00:13:18,989 to the entire cafeteria. 271 00:13:19,072 --> 00:13:21,074 - Okay. - Alice grabbed Summer's phone 272 00:13:21,158 --> 00:13:23,785 and threw it into a bucket of ranch dressing. 273 00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:26,121 Then there was screaming, and shoving, and… 274 00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:30,709 I'm listening to you. 275 00:13:30,792 --> 00:13:32,836 So, then there was screaming, and shoving, 276 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,590 and somehow Mrs. Pritchard, the art teacher, 277 00:13:36,673 --> 00:13:38,342 was called a lonely, old skank… 278 00:13:39,843 --> 00:13:41,845 - And went home, crying. - Right. 279 00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:47,434 I'm calling it RanchGate, because I enjoy puns. 280 00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:49,686 That's not really a pun. 281 00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:53,106 Just putting "gate" at the end of something isn't a pun. 282 00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:54,441 Anyway, go on. 283 00:13:54,525 --> 00:13:57,110 Both Alice and Summer are suspended. 284 00:13:57,778 --> 00:14:00,822 I mean, we haven't seen this type of violence since, well, 285 00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:03,408 the last time you were here. 286 00:14:03,492 --> 00:14:04,868 Which begs the question… 287 00:14:06,703 --> 00:14:08,622 How are you and Alice doing? 288 00:14:08,705 --> 00:14:13,961 I understand that you have father-daughter tattoos. 289 00:14:14,461 --> 00:14:18,507 Yes, but they are in tasteful and in appropriate locations. 290 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:20,926 In appropriate. 291 00:14:21,009 --> 00:14:25,055 I'm saying in, space, appropriate. Not inappropriate. 292 00:14:25,138 --> 00:14:28,809 What I'm trying to articulate to you is that we are doing great. 293 00:14:28,892 --> 00:14:30,060 Everything is back to normal. 294 00:14:30,143 --> 00:14:33,021 Dad, who's this guy? 295 00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,565 That's my patient, darling. 296 00:14:34,648 --> 00:14:37,985 Who doesn't wanna be here because his issues stem from high school. 297 00:14:38,068 --> 00:14:40,153 Everybody's issues stem from high school, Dan! 298 00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:43,198 We're done here. 299 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:47,160 So, what did you need to talk to us about? 300 00:14:47,244 --> 00:14:49,746 It's our prospective parent biography, isn't it? 301 00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:52,749 I told you your title sounded like a Grindr profile. 302 00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:55,919 "Two daddies looking for a third"? It worked before, it'll work again. 303 00:14:56,003 --> 00:14:58,755 What even is Grindr? Wink. 304 00:14:58,839 --> 00:15:01,341 - Did he say wink? - He said wink. 305 00:15:01,425 --> 00:15:03,427 Anyway, great news. 306 00:15:03,510 --> 00:15:05,179 It rarely happens this fast, 307 00:15:05,262 --> 00:15:08,932 but your biography must've been fine, because a mother has chosen you. 308 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,351 Oh, my God. When? 309 00:15:11,435 --> 00:15:15,022 She's being induced tomorrow. The baby will be yours by dinner. 310 00:15:15,105 --> 00:15:16,773 - Holy shit. - I have a massage… 311 00:15:16,857 --> 00:15:18,650 - That is so exciting. - …that's too late to cancel. 312 00:15:21,945 --> 00:15:24,740 So, obviously you're grounded until the suspension is over. 313 00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:25,824 It was only for today. 314 00:15:25,908 --> 00:15:28,744 This fucking school really knows how to teach a lesson, huh? 315 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:31,955 So, I'm not allowed to go anywhere until sunset? 316 00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:34,082 No. You can go one place. 317 00:15:35,209 --> 00:15:36,793 You can go talk to Summer. 318 00:15:36,877 --> 00:15:38,295 Why would I do that? 319 00:15:39,046 --> 00:15:42,090 I've tried to apologize to Summer so many times about Connor. 320 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:45,802 Sorry I'm not perfect. I've been fucking grieving. 321 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:49,473 What? 322 00:15:51,892 --> 00:15:53,268 I've been where you are, 323 00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:56,772 walking around thinking that nobody else's shit compares to mine. 324 00:15:56,855 --> 00:16:00,067 But, kid, just because Mom died doesn't mean we get to go around 325 00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:02,027 thinking that nobody else is dealing with stuff. 326 00:16:03,153 --> 00:16:06,281 I mean, do you have any idea what else is going on in Summer's life? 327 00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:09,868 Well, she told me she hasn't talked to her dad in a few years. 328 00:16:09,952 --> 00:16:11,161 That must be hard. 329 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:13,204 And? 330 00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:15,207 And… 331 00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:18,377 she's been selling her mom's pills. 332 00:16:19,294 --> 00:16:20,197 What else? 333 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:24,508 She said that Connor's the best thing that's happened to her in a while. 334 00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:29,428 Fuck. 335 00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:30,888 Fuck. 336 00:16:31,515 --> 00:16:32,766 Solid dad work. 337 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:34,434 I'm on fire lately. 338 00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:36,102 Thanks. 339 00:16:40,023 --> 00:16:42,568 - It's so weird that you're still here. - Agreed. 340 00:16:42,651 --> 00:16:44,611 - You hungry? I'm hungry. - I could eat. 341 00:16:44,695 --> 00:16:47,155 - Look, a spider. - I'm the boss. 342 00:16:51,994 --> 00:16:53,370 Huh? 343 00:16:54,746 --> 00:16:57,457 - Can't believe you actually came. - I gotta be honest, 344 00:16:57,541 --> 00:16:59,835 I didn't really believe you owned a microbrewery. 345 00:17:00,502 --> 00:17:04,089 It's real. I've got a full kitchen staff and a bartender named Hector. 346 00:17:04,673 --> 00:17:07,134 - Hector sounds fake. - Yeah. There's no Hector. 347 00:17:07,217 --> 00:17:09,094 Also, I have no idea how to make beer. 348 00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:10,971 Well, I assumed that. Yeah. 349 00:17:11,054 --> 00:17:12,055 Still… 350 00:17:13,974 --> 00:17:15,100 check this out. 351 00:17:16,226 --> 00:17:19,271 Wow. What did you do? 352 00:17:20,981 --> 00:17:24,026 Well, I mean, it doesn't make a ton of sense in a brewery, but… 353 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:27,738 Whatever. I'll just make a new beer and call it Hound Dog Ale or some shit. 354 00:17:28,238 --> 00:17:29,406 Drunk people love dogs. 355 00:17:29,489 --> 00:17:31,491 That is how I started fostering. 356 00:17:31,575 --> 00:17:35,120 I got drunk on merlot and the next day decided to save every dog in the world. 357 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:41,084 Look, I can tell you're going through a rough time. 358 00:17:41,835 --> 00:17:44,379 I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes. 359 00:17:45,005 --> 00:17:49,259 You're so cool, and funny, and talented. 360 00:17:49,343 --> 00:17:50,969 I mean, look at these photos. 361 00:17:53,347 --> 00:17:55,557 You see the world in a way nobody else does. 362 00:17:57,518 --> 00:18:01,313 I can't even tell you how much this means to me. 363 00:18:01,813 --> 00:18:06,234 Lizzie, I'd do anything for you. 364 00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:21,458 Sorry. I have to go. I can't do this. 365 00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:27,047 Fuck. 366 00:18:28,966 --> 00:18:32,386 For a third first date, biking is a pretty big swing, 367 00:18:32,469 --> 00:18:36,056 but luckily, I have this supes cute biking outfit, 368 00:18:36,139 --> 00:18:39,226 and I think it's fire. 369 00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:40,853 Wow. 370 00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:42,646 Wow as in, like, I look good, 371 00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:44,565 or wow as in, I just got a lot of camel toe? 372 00:18:44,648 --> 00:18:46,942 Wow as in, goddamn, you look good. 373 00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:48,902 Well, then I think I just might… 374 00:18:48,986 --> 00:18:50,404 keep this bad boy. 375 00:18:51,321 --> 00:18:53,407 All right, please tell me we don't have to bike far. 376 00:18:53,490 --> 00:18:55,659 Just, like, 200 yards to the park, you know? 377 00:18:55,742 --> 00:18:58,370 We'll sit, have some wine, 378 00:18:58,453 --> 00:19:00,831 talk about how much more we wanna bike but we never do. 379 00:19:00,914 --> 00:19:02,499 I love almost exercising 380 00:19:02,583 --> 00:19:03,625 - as an excuse to drink. - Yeah. 381 00:19:05,294 --> 00:19:07,379 Well, what kind of wine did you… 382 00:19:07,462 --> 00:19:08,672 Thank God you're home. 383 00:19:08,755 --> 00:19:12,176 I'm sorry to interrupt what I can only assume is a camel toe intervention. 384 00:19:12,259 --> 00:19:13,552 I knew it. 385 00:19:13,635 --> 00:19:14,803 It was cute. 386 00:19:15,429 --> 00:19:19,224 They wanna give us a baby, like, tomorrow, and I am losing my shit! 387 00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:22,186 Charlie sent me out for supplies, but I don't know what a baby needs, 388 00:19:22,269 --> 00:19:25,314 so I panicked and got 20 diapers and a tiny chicken costume. 389 00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:27,983 That's cute. It's making my ovaries tingle. 390 00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:29,735 That's either really good for me or really bad. 391 00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:34,865 We weren't supposed to be paired this fast. 392 00:19:35,532 --> 00:19:37,034 I've only read one baby book. 393 00:19:37,993 --> 00:19:38,994 Started one baby book. 394 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,079 Fine, I bought a baby book. 395 00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:42,289 Just get to the truth. 396 00:19:42,372 --> 00:19:43,707 I don't even have a baby book! 397 00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:45,959 - There we go. - There's no time to childproof the house, 398 00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:47,794 buy a car seat, eat for two. 399 00:19:47,878 --> 00:19:49,671 I want my nine months! 400 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,965 Why don't you just tell your husband you're not ready yet? 401 00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:54,301 No, other Derrick. I went back and forth too much 402 00:19:54,384 --> 00:19:56,470 when we started the whole baby thing. 403 00:19:56,553 --> 00:19:58,597 You might not know this about me, but I flip flop a lot. 404 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,849 - I picked that up. - I don't flip flop that much. 405 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,726 Oh, my God. I'm flip flopping on flip flopping. 406 00:20:03,644 --> 00:20:05,562 I promised Charlie that I was ready, 407 00:20:05,646 --> 00:20:08,148 and now if I say that I'm not, he'll never trust me again. 408 00:20:08,232 --> 00:20:09,983 He already thinks I have one foot out the baby door, 409 00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:10,969 which, by the way, 410 00:20:10,984 --> 00:20:13,153 we'll have to add to our house if the doggy door's too small. 411 00:20:13,237 --> 00:20:14,488 Are baby doors even a thing? 412 00:20:14,571 --> 00:20:16,114 - No. - No. 413 00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,408 Please help me. I am begging you. 414 00:20:18,492 --> 00:20:20,744 Brian, have a seat, okay? 415 00:20:21,662 --> 00:20:23,497 Look, I know that this is hard and scary. 416 00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:27,251 - Yeah. - But I promise you I will think about it, 417 00:20:27,334 --> 00:20:31,672 while Derrick and I exercise for ten seconds and then get super drunk. 418 00:20:31,755 --> 00:20:33,590 - Oh, no. - Yeah. 419 00:20:33,674 --> 00:20:35,008 No, it's okay. 420 00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:39,763 How about this? You call Charlie and everyone you trust, 421 00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:41,807 we'll get in the sea about it, and we'll figure it out. 422 00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,517 - Okay. - Yeah? 423 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,644 Yeah, that sounds great. I like that. Let's do that. 424 00:20:45,727 --> 00:20:48,856 - All right. I'll get you some water. - Thank you. I'm so thirsty. 425 00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:50,649 How did he know? 426 00:20:51,275 --> 00:20:52,693 I like him. 427 00:20:52,776 --> 00:20:56,488 He makes me simultaneously feel calm and horny. 428 00:20:56,572 --> 00:20:57,573 Me too. 429 00:20:58,365 --> 00:21:02,119 And if I don't get to fuck him tonight, I'ma murder you. 430 00:21:02,202 --> 00:21:03,495 - Okay. - Okay? 431 00:21:03,579 --> 00:21:05,289 - I understand. - Okay. 432 00:21:05,372 --> 00:21:06,623 I get what you're saying, 433 00:21:06,707 --> 00:21:08,542 but I thought you were excited about seeing Jorge. 434 00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:11,712 I was, but that was because he was the only guy in our squad 435 00:21:11,795 --> 00:21:13,172 who was always in a good place, 436 00:21:13,755 --> 00:21:15,841 and now he wants to see me 'cause he's fucking struggling. 437 00:21:15,924 --> 00:21:17,342 Well, people struggle. 438 00:21:17,426 --> 00:21:20,220 I know, but what advice can I give him? 439 00:21:21,054 --> 00:21:23,974 Get kicked out of your place? Move in with your shrink? 440 00:21:24,057 --> 00:21:26,810 I mean, I am the last guy he should be leaning on. 441 00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:28,770 I wouldn't lead with any of that stuff. 442 00:21:29,771 --> 00:21:32,816 But, Dan, maybe you could tell Sean 443 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:34,818 what made it easier for you to open up to me. 444 00:21:34,902 --> 00:21:37,613 Is it because he looks like a sad oak tree? 445 00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:40,073 Say what you want, Paul, but just this morning, 446 00:21:40,157 --> 00:21:42,826 a woman told me I was one of the five hottest guys she'd ever been with. 447 00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:44,328 So, fifth? 448 00:21:44,411 --> 00:21:46,455 Fourth. Suck it. 449 00:21:47,122 --> 00:21:48,290 Anyways. Dan. 450 00:21:49,625 --> 00:21:50,626 Well, 451 00:21:51,418 --> 00:21:55,506 honestly, I think I started opening up the day you said you were… 452 00:21:55,589 --> 00:21:57,090 you were lonely too. 453 00:21:58,342 --> 00:22:00,677 Guess I wanted a therapist as screwed up as I was. 454 00:22:00,761 --> 00:22:03,639 If that's the case, bull's-eye. 455 00:22:04,765 --> 00:22:08,018 But you're right, fucked-up people are good at helping fucked-up people. 456 00:22:08,685 --> 00:22:09,853 I mean, look at us. 457 00:22:11,605 --> 00:22:12,606 What do you say? 458 00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:15,567 Oh, shit. 459 00:22:15,651 --> 00:22:17,486 - Hey, Brian. What's up? - Thank God you picked up. 460 00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:19,530 I thought you'd have work or something boring. 461 00:22:19,613 --> 00:22:21,031 Jimmy, listen, you have no idea… 462 00:22:21,114 --> 00:22:24,535 We all know he's gonna go on for a while before I have to say anything, so… 463 00:22:24,618 --> 00:22:25,702 Sorry. Sean, continue. 464 00:22:26,703 --> 00:22:28,288 Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll see him. 465 00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:31,583 Thanks, Jimmy's-other-patient. 466 00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,752 Didn't I see you this morning? 467 00:22:34,503 --> 00:22:35,503 Are you okay? 468 00:22:36,296 --> 00:22:38,882 - Is he holding you against your will? - Yes. 469 00:22:38,966 --> 00:22:41,260 No, Dan, you want to be here. 470 00:22:41,343 --> 00:22:42,970 - I changed my mind. - No, you did not. 471 00:22:43,053 --> 00:22:44,054 Paul, he did not. 472 00:22:44,137 --> 00:22:46,098 I'll get you a list of other therapists. 473 00:22:46,181 --> 00:22:48,892 It's nothing personal. I do it for all of Jimmy's patients. 474 00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:51,645 I gotta go see Alice. 475 00:22:52,646 --> 00:22:54,106 Are you even listening to a word I'm saying? 476 00:22:54,189 --> 00:22:56,275 - Oh, shit. - I will start over. I swear to God. 477 00:22:56,358 --> 00:22:58,235 Brian, of course I'm listening to you. 478 00:22:58,902 --> 00:23:00,404 Thanks for agreeing to talk to me. 479 00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,948 I'm suspended, I have nothing better to do. 480 00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:06,910 Did your dad lose his shit? 481 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:10,330 Well, he grounded me for three whole hours. 482 00:23:12,541 --> 00:23:13,750 How'd your mom take it? 483 00:23:14,585 --> 00:23:17,004 She got kicked out of Casino Morongo last night, 484 00:23:17,087 --> 00:23:19,923 so I think this is pretty low on her priority list. 485 00:23:20,465 --> 00:23:21,466 - Damn. - Yeah. 486 00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:26,138 - What'd she do? - She put the dice in her mouth again. 487 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:32,561 This is all my fault. 488 00:23:35,063 --> 00:23:37,983 I fucked you over, and you really didn't deserve it. 489 00:23:38,066 --> 00:23:41,778 I mean, everybody bailed on me when Mom died but you stuck by me, 490 00:23:41,862 --> 00:23:44,948 and I've been so fucking selfish, 491 00:23:45,032 --> 00:23:48,827 and I haven't thought about all of the shit that you've been dealing with. 492 00:23:49,453 --> 00:23:51,997 It won't happen again. Promise. 493 00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:54,165 Thanks. 494 00:23:56,210 --> 00:23:57,210 I love you. 495 00:23:57,628 --> 00:23:58,962 I love you. 496 00:24:07,346 --> 00:24:08,847 What are you gonna do about Connor? 497 00:24:10,057 --> 00:24:13,143 Okay. So, fall break I'm gonna kiss him 498 00:24:13,227 --> 00:24:16,313 and then I'm gonna cry, and I'm gonna say, "That was a mistake." 499 00:24:16,396 --> 00:24:20,526 And then during his midterms, I'm gonna soft launch a boyfriend. 500 00:24:20,609 --> 00:24:22,110 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. Like, at dinner, 501 00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:23,904 with the guy hand, you know? 502 00:24:23,987 --> 00:24:27,574 And then I'm gonna get back with him on Thanksgiving, 503 00:24:28,408 --> 00:24:30,118 but I'm gonna say I'm too full to hook up. 504 00:24:31,912 --> 00:24:34,248 I am loving this revenge arc for you. 505 00:24:34,998 --> 00:24:37,793 Ch-Cheater, cheater, cheater bitch. 506 00:24:37,876 --> 00:24:41,588 Cheater, cheater, cheater, cheater biatch. 507 00:24:42,548 --> 00:24:43,549 Hey. 508 00:24:44,132 --> 00:24:46,134 How do I keep running into you? 509 00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:47,204 Alice couldn't make it. 510 00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:49,930 She's with Summer, so I told her I'd let you know. 511 00:24:50,013 --> 00:24:51,557 Why didn't you just call? 512 00:24:53,809 --> 00:24:55,143 Well… 513 00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:58,105 Oh, God, no. 514 00:24:58,188 --> 00:25:01,233 Relax. I know the rules. 515 00:25:01,775 --> 00:25:04,278 Tropical. The good shit. 516 00:25:10,367 --> 00:25:12,286 - Thanks for coming, everyone. - Yeah. 517 00:25:12,369 --> 00:25:14,538 I still fricking can't believe that by "get in the sea" 518 00:25:14,621 --> 00:25:16,373 you meant get in the sea. I thought it was, like, 519 00:25:16,456 --> 00:25:18,542 a metaphor where he was like, "Oh, no." 520 00:25:18,625 --> 00:25:22,004 Like, "Our profits are down," like, "Let's get in the sea on it." 521 00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:23,380 Nope. 522 00:25:23,463 --> 00:25:27,676 The ocean is a magical place. It helps you see things clearly. 523 00:25:27,759 --> 00:25:29,386 Well, still not the worst fucking date I had. 524 00:25:29,469 --> 00:25:31,555 - Hey, Jimmy? What the fuck are you doing? - Yeah. 525 00:25:31,638 --> 00:25:33,807 I'm still not supposed to get my tattoo wet. 526 00:25:33,891 --> 00:25:39,313 Bri, I'm freezing my titties off. Is this working? You getting any clarity? 527 00:25:39,396 --> 00:25:40,397 Yeah. 528 00:25:41,231 --> 00:25:44,526 I don't think Jimmy should've gotten a tattoo. It's stupid on him. 529 00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:45,611 It's really bad, Jimmy. 530 00:25:45,694 --> 00:25:49,448 Also, I can't handle a kid right now, 531 00:25:49,531 --> 00:25:54,411 but I know that it could be ages before we get another chance. 532 00:25:54,494 --> 00:25:59,917 So, like… So we just say yes, ready or not? 533 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,376 Question. 534 00:26:03,754 --> 00:26:04,754 Brian, right? 535 00:26:05,339 --> 00:26:06,673 Yes, Jimmy's patient. 536 00:26:06,757 --> 00:26:08,759 This has all been about how you feel, 537 00:26:08,842 --> 00:26:12,012 which reminds me of when I hang out with my pal, Stan. 538 00:26:12,095 --> 00:26:16,350 Everyone's checking on him and his feelings, but never mine. 539 00:26:16,934 --> 00:26:19,353 So as a guy who is also overlooked, 540 00:26:19,436 --> 00:26:22,105 did anyone ever ask your husband how he feels? 541 00:26:24,942 --> 00:26:26,109 I'm terrified. 542 00:26:26,193 --> 00:26:29,404 What? You're terrified? Why didn't you say something? 543 00:26:29,488 --> 00:26:32,741 I feel like I have to be the brave one, even though I'm just as scared as you. 544 00:26:32,824 --> 00:26:35,077 But I want the nine months. 545 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,997 I wanna get the call to the hospital and have a cute, little backpack. 546 00:26:39,081 --> 00:26:40,457 Too cold for a speech, Charlie! 547 00:26:41,124 --> 00:26:43,043 Babe, I love you. 548 00:26:46,630 --> 00:26:49,466 We shouldn't have a baby until the time is right for both of us. 549 00:26:50,884 --> 00:26:52,469 - Really? - Really. 550 00:26:52,553 --> 00:26:54,888 We're not having a baby! 551 00:27:07,693 --> 00:27:08,694 You ever gonna talk? 552 00:27:10,612 --> 00:27:11,780 Mac kissed me. 553 00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:14,199 Who could've seen that coming? 554 00:27:16,618 --> 00:27:19,246 Full disclosure, I should say that… 555 00:27:22,416 --> 00:27:23,709 we kissed each other. 556 00:27:25,085 --> 00:27:27,045 What the fuck? Why are you laughing? 557 00:27:27,129 --> 00:27:28,881 Life, I guess. 558 00:27:30,090 --> 00:27:33,594 I just recently had to face my own infidelity, 559 00:27:33,677 --> 00:27:36,013 20 years after the fact. 560 00:27:36,597 --> 00:27:37,541 How'd that go? 561 00:27:37,556 --> 00:27:39,183 We're friends again 562 00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:42,269 which means I have to talk to her on the phone every week, so… 563 00:27:43,770 --> 00:27:44,770 not good. 564 00:27:45,355 --> 00:27:46,690 How do I fix this? 565 00:27:46,773 --> 00:27:48,734 Easy. Time machine. 566 00:27:49,610 --> 00:27:53,989 I just keep trying to figure out why I did this. 567 00:27:54,072 --> 00:27:55,490 - This isn't ab… - It doesn't matter. 568 00:27:56,074 --> 00:27:58,368 There are a million reasons why, and I've heard 'em all. 569 00:27:58,952 --> 00:28:03,540 Feeling neglected, lost, lacking purpose, 570 00:28:03,624 --> 00:28:06,502 empty nest, big birthday coming up. 571 00:28:06,585 --> 00:28:08,128 I don't have birthdays anymore. 572 00:28:08,712 --> 00:28:09,880 That must be nice. 573 00:28:10,506 --> 00:28:12,257 What am I supposed to do now? 574 00:28:12,341 --> 00:28:13,675 Well, you can bury it, 575 00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,470 try and live with the guilt, 576 00:28:17,304 --> 00:28:21,558 hope that it motivates you to become a better partner. 577 00:28:22,643 --> 00:28:23,894 But in my experience, 578 00:28:23,977 --> 00:28:29,608 most people end up tortured by what they did forever and ever. 579 00:28:29,691 --> 00:28:30,677 Or? 580 00:28:30,692 --> 00:28:35,072 Or you could come clean, face the repercussions, 581 00:28:36,323 --> 00:28:40,577 and hope that that motivates you to become a stronger couple. 582 00:28:41,328 --> 00:28:42,579 But in my experience, 583 00:28:42,663 --> 00:28:45,832 most people end up tortured by the guilt forever and ever. 584 00:28:45,916 --> 00:28:47,459 Well, there's gotta be a third choice. 585 00:28:47,543 --> 00:28:50,128 Well, I hear they're very close to space travel. 586 00:28:53,715 --> 00:28:55,676 - What would you do? - Oh, Liz. I… 587 00:28:55,759 --> 00:28:57,636 Come on. Please, tell me. 588 00:29:00,013 --> 00:29:03,016 Secrets have a way of getting out. 589 00:29:05,143 --> 00:29:07,437 There's not a secret that I ever kept 590 00:29:08,856 --> 00:29:11,608 that I didn't wish I'd told the fucking person. 591 00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:24,329 These are disgusting. 592 00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:26,330 Give 'em back. 593 00:29:33,338 --> 00:29:35,883 Wow, another weird almost-date, 594 00:29:35,966 --> 00:29:39,595 except this time I'm dressed like a ashy beach hippie. 595 00:29:42,264 --> 00:29:43,432 I'm gonna kiss you. 596 00:29:43,515 --> 00:29:45,559 You know it's just, like… 597 00:29:45,642 --> 00:29:47,311 - It's better if you just do it. - Damn it. 598 00:29:47,394 --> 00:29:49,104 Please tell me I didn't mess this up. 599 00:29:49,188 --> 00:29:51,982 Look, I knew I shouldn't have taken you to, like, the sea. 600 00:29:52,065 --> 00:29:53,066 That was, like, so… 601 00:30:00,741 --> 00:30:01,643 Yep. 602 00:30:01,658 --> 00:30:04,369 Do you wanna get in my sea? 603 00:30:04,453 --> 00:30:06,288 Sorry. I don't know why I said that. 604 00:30:06,371 --> 00:30:07,581 Just erase that from your mind. 605 00:30:09,458 --> 00:30:12,127 But I really like you, Derrick. 606 00:30:13,504 --> 00:30:16,048 Same. Like, a lot. 607 00:30:19,092 --> 00:30:22,429 Help me find a reason to not fuck you immediately, 608 00:30:22,513 --> 00:30:24,389 because I wanna just kind of do this… 609 00:30:24,473 --> 00:30:27,100 - Right. - …whole thing right. 610 00:30:30,103 --> 00:30:32,439 - Can't think of anything. Let's go do it. - Sir. 611 00:30:32,523 --> 00:30:34,858 - Yeah. All right. - Please. I almost did it. 612 00:30:34,942 --> 00:30:36,443 - I almost sprinted up there. - I know. Okay. 613 00:30:36,527 --> 00:30:37,778 - All right, jokes aside. - Yeah. 614 00:30:39,154 --> 00:30:41,365 We can't because for one, 615 00:30:41,448 --> 00:30:44,743 I am covered in sand. 616 00:30:44,826 --> 00:30:46,787 As am I, yeah. And that would just be 617 00:30:46,870 --> 00:30:48,497 - just painful, awful. - Yeah. 618 00:30:50,290 --> 00:30:51,291 This is okay, right? 619 00:30:51,375 --> 00:30:55,087 Of course. I'm gonna go see Keisha anyway, so… 620 00:30:56,380 --> 00:30:58,048 You crazy. 621 00:30:58,131 --> 00:30:59,842 All right. Well, good night. 622 00:30:59,925 --> 00:31:00,968 Night. 623 00:31:01,051 --> 00:31:02,052 Thanks. 624 00:31:03,887 --> 00:31:05,973 I wanted to talk to you guys about something. 625 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,518 Summer and I made up today, which was great, 626 00:31:09,601 --> 00:31:11,895 but she said the thing that hurt her the most 627 00:31:11,979 --> 00:31:14,314 was the fact that I hadn't been honest with her, 628 00:31:14,398 --> 00:31:18,986 and I just think we should tell my dad that we've been talking to you, Louis. 629 00:31:19,069 --> 00:31:21,113 - I think it's the right thing to do. - I agree. 630 00:31:21,196 --> 00:31:22,364 I do too. 631 00:31:24,575 --> 00:31:28,078 But I'm just wondering if there's any way 632 00:31:28,161 --> 00:31:32,082 you can be strong and brave and tell Jimmy, 633 00:31:32,165 --> 00:31:38,005 and I can sort of not be mentioned, or be part of it at all, in any way. 634 00:31:38,088 --> 00:31:40,007 - I don't think you wanna be that guy. - Boo. 635 00:31:40,591 --> 00:31:43,010 So, we're going with me also being strong and brave? 636 00:31:43,093 --> 00:31:45,637 Got it. Great. 637 00:31:48,390 --> 00:31:50,350 You think scarf lady's still here? 638 00:31:52,311 --> 00:31:54,021 I mean, it's been seven hours. 639 00:31:54,104 --> 00:31:55,939 Yeah, you're right. Oh, by the way, 640 00:31:56,023 --> 00:31:58,817 that Derrick dude was the most handsome man I've ever seen. 641 00:31:59,401 --> 00:32:00,736 Yeah, one of the most handsome. 642 00:32:00,819 --> 00:32:03,655 No. Like, the most handsome man. 643 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,450 Today was a fun day. 644 00:32:07,075 --> 00:32:10,787 Even if we didn't kick anything's ass. 645 00:32:12,289 --> 00:32:15,042 Dan, think about all the stuff you did today. 646 00:32:15,626 --> 00:32:19,379 You went to a high school, you talked to strangers, 647 00:32:19,463 --> 00:32:21,965 you got undressed and got in the ocean 648 00:32:22,049 --> 00:32:23,967 around a bunch of people you'd never even met before. 649 00:32:24,551 --> 00:32:26,720 And yes, at first I had to prod you to get you to talk, 650 00:32:26,803 --> 00:32:29,223 but by the end, you were out there, doggy paddling, 651 00:32:29,306 --> 00:32:31,058 dropping truth bombs in your tighty-whities. 652 00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:32,976 Those were boxers. 653 00:32:33,060 --> 00:32:35,979 Well, they're snug, but they look great. 654 00:32:36,063 --> 00:32:37,814 Yeah, I think the scariest part 655 00:32:37,898 --> 00:32:42,486 was hanging out one-on-one for ten minutes with that terrifying teenage girl. 656 00:32:43,237 --> 00:32:44,655 She was batshit. 657 00:32:44,738 --> 00:32:46,949 - Again, that's my daughter. - Nice kid. 658 00:32:47,491 --> 00:32:49,159 But, yeah, if you can handle her, 659 00:32:50,661 --> 00:32:52,538 you can handle Stan's wedding. 660 00:32:55,666 --> 00:32:57,835 This means your hot streak's still going, right? 661 00:32:57,918 --> 00:32:59,169 Fuck yeah, it is. 662 00:33:00,921 --> 00:33:03,006 - You want a hug? - Not ever. 663 00:33:03,966 --> 00:33:08,679 And then, you know, I stopped and left. 664 00:33:10,013 --> 00:33:11,723 It was so stupid. 665 00:33:12,516 --> 00:33:14,685 I know you must be so hurt. 666 00:33:18,230 --> 00:33:19,398 Please, say something. 667 00:33:20,941 --> 00:33:22,109 How long was the kiss? 668 00:33:22,192 --> 00:33:23,192 What? 669 00:33:23,235 --> 00:33:24,403 How long was it? 670 00:33:25,946 --> 00:33:29,575 I'll do Cincinnati, and you tell me to stop. 671 00:33:29,658 --> 00:33:32,953 You know, like one Cincinnati, two Cincinnati. 672 00:33:33,036 --> 00:33:35,205 - It's Mississippi. - I do Cincinnati. 673 00:33:35,289 --> 00:33:36,289 Okay. 674 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,460 One Cincinnati. 675 00:33:40,544 --> 00:33:42,713 Are you fucking kidding me? 676 00:33:44,965 --> 00:33:46,216 - Two Cincinnat… - Stop. 677 00:33:47,676 --> 00:33:49,219 So it was two Cincinnatis. 678 00:33:49,303 --> 00:33:53,056 No. It was, like, one Cincinnati and a Cincinnat. 679 00:33:53,932 --> 00:33:54,933 Liz… 680 00:33:57,311 --> 00:34:00,731 I support you in everything you do. 681 00:34:00,814 --> 00:34:03,150 You signed us up to foster dogs, 682 00:34:03,233 --> 00:34:06,069 you basically adopted our neighbor's child. 683 00:34:08,071 --> 00:34:12,451 You make jokes about me. Who cares? They bounce off. 684 00:34:12,534 --> 00:34:13,535 You know why? 685 00:34:14,077 --> 00:34:14,980 No. 686 00:34:14,995 --> 00:34:19,791 Because deep down, I thought we were so solid. 687 00:34:19,875 --> 00:34:20,959 We are. 688 00:34:21,043 --> 00:34:23,003 I don't ask you for much. 689 00:34:24,421 --> 00:34:25,422 Ever. 690 00:34:26,173 --> 00:34:28,884 You knew how I felt about that fucking guy, 691 00:34:29,510 --> 00:34:31,053 and you did this anyway. 692 00:34:33,931 --> 00:34:36,225 Wait. I'm sorry. 693 00:34:36,308 --> 00:34:38,185 I didn't mean for this to happen. 694 00:34:38,852 --> 00:34:40,145 I wanna figure it out. 695 00:34:40,229 --> 00:34:42,481 We can figure this out. 696 00:34:44,107 --> 00:34:47,194 Look, at least I told you. 697 00:34:47,277 --> 00:34:52,491 Isn't that better that I told you, than you find out on your own? 698 00:34:52,574 --> 00:34:53,575 Right? 699 00:34:54,117 --> 00:34:55,369 Gotta give me one. 700 00:34:57,913 --> 00:35:00,999 Hey, crush it at that wedding. 701 00:35:01,083 --> 00:35:02,083 Thanks, Jimmy. 702 00:35:30,779 --> 00:35:31,780 Fuck.