1 00:00:07,010 --> 00:00:09,854 How can Gavin Belson claim that he owns Pied Piper? 2 00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:12,012 I mean, this whole lawsuit is insane, right? 3 00:00:12,330 --> 00:00:14,173 Well, let me ask you something, Richie. 4 00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:16,691 And I need you to be totally straight with me. 5 00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:21,741 Was Pied Piper related in any way 6 00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:24,177 to what you were doing when you were working at Hooli? 7 00:00:24,330 --> 00:00:25,741 No. No, not at all. 8 00:00:25,810 --> 00:00:28,381 I was doing quality assurance for mobile messaging. 9 00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:30,339 It had nothing to do with compression. 10 00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:32,697 They didn't even have a compression division at that time. 11 00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:35,734 And did you work on Pied Piper on Hooli time 12 00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:38,461 or use Hooli equipment to develop it in any way 13 00:00:38,530 --> 00:00:41,374 - at any time, Richie? - No, and no. 14 00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:45,291 Great. And by the way, 15 00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:48,453 always tell me that. And tell yourself that. 16 00:00:48,530 --> 00:00:51,693 Because if you believe it, a jury will, too. 17 00:00:52,570 --> 00:00:54,698 I do believe it. It's the truth. 18 00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:57,053 Great. That one was even better than the other one. 19 00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:59,895 I love it. Always say it exactly like that. 20 00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:02,777 Yeah, okay. Look, um... 21 00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:06,019 We're going to win this, right? 22 00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:08,821 Richie, if what you just told me is the truth, 23 00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:12,491 and don't tell me if you lied, 24 00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:14,060 Gavin's got nothing here. 25 00:01:14,130 --> 00:01:16,497 This is a classic intimidation lawsuit 26 00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:20,291 designed to freeze you until after Nucleus comes to market. 27 00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:23,374 It's got all the usual boilerplate nonsense. 28 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,374 "Breach of contract,"unjust enrichment," 29 00:01:26,490 --> 00:01:27,901 "breach of non-solicitation," 30 00:01:27,970 --> 00:01:30,655 and the hiring of someone named Donald Dunn. 31 00:01:30,730 --> 00:01:32,971 Jared. We call him Jared. 32 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:36,020 Changing his name to get out of it, clever but irrelevant, 33 00:01:36,090 --> 00:01:39,299 because all we care about are the intellectual property claims. 34 00:01:39,370 --> 00:01:41,737 And we will win this. 35 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,259 - Good. - But we're going to have to lawyer up. 36 00:01:44,650 --> 00:01:47,051 What do you mean? Aren't you our lawyer? 37 00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:49,781 I'm not a litigator. That's what you need. 38 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,821 Another lawyer? Really? 39 00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:54,615 Lawyers, Richie. You don't want to mess around here. 40 00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:58,012 A young start-up with an IP lawsuit hanging over its head? 41 00:01:58,330 --> 00:02:01,095 I wouldn't want to be a part of that team. 42 00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:04,697 Well, but you are a part of that team. 43 00:02:04,770 --> 00:02:08,013 I'm part of the team that team is on. 44 00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:11,814 Yeah. It just sounds really expensive. 45 00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:15,451 Says the guy who just got bukkaked with fat term sheets. 46 00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:17,379 Welcome to the business, Richie. 47 00:02:17,450 --> 00:02:21,057 Look, wherever we're at with your funding, legal fees will be worked into the deal. 48 00:02:21,130 --> 00:02:23,531 You've got Raviga. You're covered. 49 00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:25,131 Relax. 50 00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:29,060 "We're out"? What do you mean, "We're out"? 51 00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:32,658 Was it not clear from the context? 52 00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:37,060 We, at Raviga, are out of the business of funding Pied Piper, 53 00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:39,895 at least while the Hooli lawsuit remains unresolved. 54 00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:42,052 That suit is total nonsense. 55 00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:44,861 Nonsense is not a quantifiable metric, Monica. 56 00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,375 Risk is. 57 00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:49,374 Funding any early-stage company is a high-risk proposition, 58 00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:51,691 but compound that uncertainty with a legal cloud 59 00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,341 over the company's intellectual property, and it's untenable. 60 00:02:54,450 --> 00:02:57,897 And that is just the financial risk. There is also a legal risk. 61 00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,052 We could become embroiled in Gavin Belson's lawsuit 62 00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:01,416 for aiding and abetting. 63 00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:04,972 And there is a political risk for the firm, 64 00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:07,132 but especially for me as its new leader. 65 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:10,771 I'm being heavily scrutinized from both within and without. 66 00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:14,901 I cannot have my first decision post-Peter be one with such dubious fundamentals. 67 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,620 It's a rudimentary decision. 68 00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:18,654 How am I supposed to tell them this? 69 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,899 In my experience, it's best to look a person in the eye 70 00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:25,338 and deliver the information with warmth and compassion. 71 00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,091 Okay. 72 00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:31,020 One other suggestion. 73 00:03:31,090 --> 00:03:32,933 Dress unattractively when you tell them. 74 00:03:33,010 --> 00:03:36,093 I read a study. The less sexual interest they feel for you, 75 00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:39,060 the less perturbing it will be. It sounds strange, 76 00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:40,495 but it's credible. 77 00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:44,939 May I suggest the beige ensemble 78 00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:47,536 in which you came to work... Tuesday? 79 00:03:52,050 --> 00:03:54,530 Things are just really different at Raviga, 80 00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:56,977 and I had nothing to do with the decision. 81 00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,851 Guys, I'm so, so sorry. 82 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,219 Wait, so the company that offered us the most 83 00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:04,816 until Richard talked them into offering us the least 84 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:06,255 is now offering us nothing? 85 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:09,254 But the fact that you're so sorry makes it all better. 86 00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,697 You guys will be fine. You'll find someone else. 87 00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:15,297 We don't want someone else, Monica. The whole point of going with you guys 88 00:04:15,370 --> 00:04:17,259 was because we trust you guys. 89 00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:19,811 - Trusted. - We still have our 5% stake, 90 00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:21,813 and Laurie said that I can still sit on the board, 91 00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:23,699 which means I can still come to meetings... 92 00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:25,056 Can I say something here? 93 00:04:25,210 --> 00:04:27,975 First off, Monica, you're not fooling any of us for even a second 94 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,815 with your dress-shitty-to-ease-the-pain routine. 95 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:32,619 It's a classic chick break-up move, 96 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:35,580 and you're not very good at it, either. You look great. 97 00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,297 Yeah, beige is a good color for you. 98 00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:39,735 You're a true autumn. 99 00:04:39,890 --> 00:04:41,813 Secondly, who cares? 100 00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:46,134 We have a three-foot stack of term sheets from the top VCs on the face of the planet. 101 00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:49,459 So the top one fell out. As Jay Z says, 102 00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:50,861 "On to the next one." 103 00:04:50,970 --> 00:04:52,779 Jared, who's our next best offer? 104 00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:55,894 Between the numbers and the reputation, 105 00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:57,620 that would be Coleman Blair Partners. 106 00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:59,540 I'm gonna go put my face on. 107 00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:03,012 Call Coleman Blair. Tell them that Santa Claus is coming early this year, 108 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:06,299 and he's bringing a big bag of Pied Piper. 109 00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:12,250 Well, I'm going to leave this room without saying goodbye to you. 110 00:05:12,810 --> 00:05:16,257 I'm sure you can find your way out with one of your two faces. 111 00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,894 Sorry about that. 112 00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:22,257 The guys are just a little emotional. 113 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,458 No, I get it. 114 00:05:24,610 --> 00:05:26,738 And look, I probably shouldn't say this, 115 00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:30,098 but there are a lot of really great VCs in town. 116 00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:33,450 You'll be fine. I just... 117 00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:35,461 Just what? 118 00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:38,460 Just tell them that you're really excited to be in business with them 119 00:05:38,530 --> 00:05:40,817 and try to close quickly. 120 00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:42,813 You know, while momentum is still on your side. 121 00:05:55,810 --> 00:05:59,098 Well, it's gonna break a lot of hearts on Sand Hill Road 122 00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:01,138 but congratulations. 123 00:06:01,930 --> 00:06:04,661 We decided to go with you. 124 00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:09,253 Uh, we were told that you were going with Raviga. 125 00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,135 And I am happy to say that is no longer the case. 126 00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:14,690 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 127 00:06:14,770 --> 00:06:17,580 Can I ask... Did you walk away from them, 128 00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:21,211 or did they walk away from you because of the lawsuit? 129 00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:25,013 Ah, that lawsuit we know to be frivolous. 130 00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:27,656 Yeah. 131 00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:31,015 Is that a Yes Folder? 132 00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,941 No. 133 00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:37,452 So, no pastries today, huh? 134 00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:40,455 So both Raviga and Coleman Blair Partners passed 135 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,500 - because of the lawsuit? - Frivolous suit. It's nothing. 136 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,857 Well, it's not nothing. 137 00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:49,252 Look, before we start negging each other... 138 00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:53,335 - Negging? - It's a term used in sexual manipulation. 139 00:06:54,290 --> 00:06:56,497 Maybe not relevant here. 140 00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:03,096 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 141 00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,171 Hmm... 142 00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:08,492 We actually see this lawsuit as a positive. 143 00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:12,655 We will win, and it proves that we have something worth suing over. 144 00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:16,701 And yet Raviga, Coleman Blair Partners 145 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:20,013 and Wood Opal Fund have all passed. 146 00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:23,581 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 147 00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:25,051 Hmm... 148 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:35,013 You know term sheets aren't legally binding documents, right? 149 00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:37,536 Of course not. They're just guidelines 150 00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:39,095 that people follow 151 00:07:39,650 --> 00:07:42,051 unless, of course, they're pussies. 152 00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:45,413 You came in here three days ago. 153 00:07:45,490 --> 00:07:48,539 You were arrogant, condescending and offensive. 154 00:07:48,610 --> 00:07:50,692 Now you come in here, you call me a pussy... 155 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,535 Whoa! I did not call you a pussy. 156 00:07:53,930 --> 00:07:58,697 I said that people who break term sheet agreements are pussies, 157 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:02,138 and that hasn't happened... Yet. 158 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:06,092 Thus, I haven't called you a pussy... Yet. 159 00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:07,621 You're in control of the situation. 160 00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:11,695 Hooli has the unlimited resources to hamstring you 161 00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:15,132 until Nucleus comes out, at which point, they will be the market standard, 162 00:08:15,210 --> 00:08:17,451 and you will be irrelevant. 163 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,739 We're here to invest in innovation, 164 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,211 not lawyers, 165 00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:24,691 so let me be perfectly honest with you. 166 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,894 Your behavior 167 00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:29,450 was boorish and juvenile... 168 00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:32,613 You were rude, vulgar and uncouth. 169 00:08:32,810 --> 00:08:35,893 You were coarse, graceless and puerile. 170 00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:39,417 Obscene, insulting and ignorant. 171 00:08:39,490 --> 00:08:40,616 Ignorant? 172 00:08:40,690 --> 00:08:44,411 You called me a shit-riddled, anal wasteland. 173 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,972 You called me a chode-gargling fuck-toilet. 174 00:08:51,090 --> 00:08:54,458 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 175 00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:57,257 Uh, guys, I hate to panic you 176 00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,332 until I'm absolutely sure it's warranted, 177 00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:03,176 but Richard just texted me. We got our seventh pass. 178 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,772 - Fuck. - Fuckin' Gavin Belson. 179 00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:07,375 All the VCs turned on us. 180 00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:11,256 Apparently, Erlich used some pretty assertive vaginal metaphors last round, 181 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:13,418 so it's been a bit of an uphill climb. 182 00:09:13,490 --> 00:09:15,891 I think we're going have to crunch our burn-rate again. 183 00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:19,338 Even with the $50,000 from TechCrunch, we're not going to last very long. 184 00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:20,571 Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. 185 00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:23,620 Richard said we were going to split that money, right? 186 00:09:23,690 --> 00:09:24,737 $10,000 each? 187 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,416 I don't think we can afford to do that anymore. 188 00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:28,571 Fuck! 189 00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:34,497 I just donated $5,000 to my cousin Wajeed's Kickstarter campaign. 190 00:09:35,210 --> 00:09:39,454 He's trying to get an app called Bro off the ground. 191 00:09:39,530 --> 00:09:40,531 Bro? 192 00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:42,732 It's a messaging app that let's you send the word "bro" 193 00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:44,141 to everyone else who has the app. 194 00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:46,053 So it's exactly like the Yo app. 195 00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:48,371 Yes, but less original. 196 00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:50,060 Why don't you just cancel your credit card? 197 00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:52,451 That way Kickstarter can't collect your pledge. 198 00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:54,897 Well, I would love to, but he looks up to me. 199 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,735 I was always like the cool cousin of the family, you know what I mean? 200 00:09:57,810 --> 00:09:59,300 Wait. 201 00:09:59,650 --> 00:10:02,540 Did you just say you were "the cool cousin"? 202 00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:03,811 Yeah. 203 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,536 Please explain. 204 00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:11,261 Well, when we were kids, I was the one getting good grades, 205 00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:13,901 I was the one who was planning for my future, 206 00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:16,780 I would bring gifts for my teachers 'cause they worked so hard. 207 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:20,411 You know, cool stuff. He was always getting in trouble, 208 00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:23,699 he got caught smoking opium in the tool shed, 209 00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:25,693 he crashed my uncle's motorbike. 210 00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:27,454 And you think you're the cool one? 211 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:29,095 Yeah, it's different in Pakistan. 212 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,457 I've never been, but I know it isn't. 213 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:35,137 Oh, here it is. Bro 2 Bro is a 1-bit communication messenger, 214 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,014 "The fastest way to speak your mind." 215 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:39,297 As long as what's on your mind is the word "bro." 216 00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:42,011 Well, he's still shy of his goal. 217 00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:44,616 If he doesn't get there, none of the pledges get collected. 218 00:10:46,450 --> 00:10:49,659 I feel horrible for what I'm about to say, 219 00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:51,220 but I really hope he fails. 220 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,738 That is the first cool thing you've ever said. 221 00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:59,131 You know what? This may not be an issue. 222 00:10:59,330 --> 00:11:01,492 Richard and Erlich are heading into their last stop. 223 00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:04,335 I trust Erlich can be diplomatic and pull it off. 224 00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:08,093 A few days ago, I came in here and I did some things 225 00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:11,060 and said some things that I should not have. 226 00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:14,021 Also, we would like to open about the fact that Pied Piper 227 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,900 is involved in a complicated legal matter 228 00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:19,655 that could affect our potential value. 229 00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:22,652 And that being said, we are open 230 00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:25,813 to renegotiating the funding terms to reflect that. 231 00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:29,417 But most of all, I want to thank you. 232 00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:31,301 Thank you 233 00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:34,101 for allowing me to come in here today 234 00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:37,538 and be vulnerable and to apologize. 235 00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:42,659 Mr. Bachman, I didn't have you come all the way back here today 236 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,579 just to apologize to me. 237 00:11:44,690 --> 00:11:47,534 Please, it's Erlich. And you didn't? 238 00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:51,179 Of course not. I asked you back 239 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:55,221 because three days ago I sat right here, 240 00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:58,419 and I watched you put your testes on this reclaimed 241 00:11:58,490 --> 00:12:00,777 Brazilian Koa wood table, 242 00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:04,379 and now you're going to sit there 243 00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:06,896 and you're going watch me do the same goddamn thing to you. 244 00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:09,452 - What? What? - My turn. 245 00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,817 - No. But it's your table! - Yes, it is my table. 246 00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:13,733 - Oh, man. Please don't do that. - Good God! 247 00:12:14,370 --> 00:12:16,054 I think you should cancel your Kickstarter campaign. 248 00:12:16,130 --> 00:12:19,054 - Whoa... What? - Listen, I love your idea. 249 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:21,531 - You know I do, right, bro? - Bro? 250 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:24,420 Bro? Like, it lets you send the word "bro" to anyone else that has the app. 251 00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:27,300 I know what it is. You've explained it to me so many times. 252 00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:29,532 I love it, but you know, I'm not saying... 253 00:12:29,730 --> 00:12:32,256 Other people are, like, saying horrible stuff. 254 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:35,459 I'm supporting you, and they're saying, like, 255 00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:38,136 "Oh, he couldn't get funding, so he had to go to Kickstarter 256 00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:40,975 "like some charity case collecting money from strangers, 257 00:12:41,050 --> 00:12:43,815 "like a street beggar who sits on the ground, 258 00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:46,336 - "eats trash." - Really? 259 00:12:46,410 --> 00:12:47,935 Yeah. 260 00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:50,818 Look, just between us, 261 00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,257 I was thinking about canceling, anyways, 262 00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:55,651 because we're way, way under our goal. 263 00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:58,654 Really? Really? 264 00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,494 Like, embarrassingly low. 265 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:03,931 You know what? 266 00:13:04,690 --> 00:13:07,011 - That sucks. - It does really suck. 267 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,013 But I think it's the right thing to do. 268 00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:11,741 - Well, you're right. - 'Cause you don't want bad word of mouth 269 00:13:11,810 --> 00:13:14,290 to kill such a great idea. 270 00:13:14,370 --> 00:13:16,941 Yeah, like with what happened to your app. Yeah. 271 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:20,173 What do you mean, what happened to my app? 272 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:23,652 Everybody started talking about how bad it was, and then you ended up giving up. 273 00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:26,381 I didn't give up. I left to go work on Pied Piper. 274 00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:29,215 So you're saying, then, that if Pied Piper didn't happen, 275 00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:30,815 you would still be working on your app? 276 00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:33,496 Even though all those people just shit, like, all over... 277 00:13:33,570 --> 00:13:34,571 Like all of them. 278 00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,374 Who are these people? Who is shitting on it? 279 00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:42,131 Our cousins, Tab, Farooq, Imran and those people. 280 00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:43,895 This girl I'm fucking. 281 00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:47,416 What have those people ever accomplished? Nothing! 282 00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:49,972 The girl I'm fucking was in the Olympics. 283 00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:52,781 People are idiots! Standing on the sidelines criticizing 284 00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:55,012 everyone who's actually trying to do things. 285 00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:56,291 You really think so? 286 00:13:56,450 --> 00:14:00,421 Yes! Yes! Absolutely! Fuck those people! 287 00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:01,935 You know what? You're right, you're right. 288 00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:04,092 That's what makes you so cool, 289 00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:05,774 that you have the fucking backbone to say that. 290 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:07,454 - Fuck those people. - Yeah, fuck 'em all. 291 00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:08,816 - Fuck those people. - Fuck them. 292 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,416 I'm not going to cancel my Kickstarter Campaign, fuck 'em. 293 00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:13,413 Wait, hold on one second. 294 00:14:13,490 --> 00:14:15,333 Yeah, no, you know what? You're right. Fuck them. 295 00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:18,653 I'm not going to cancel it, and I'm going to throw 296 00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:20,175 a huge Kickstarter party. 297 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,740 I'm gonna invite everyone that I know, 298 00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:24,256 and we're going to put Bro over the top. 299 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,413 Everybody, this guy is the coolest cousin! 300 00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,731 Thank you for the $5,000, eh? 301 00:14:29,810 --> 00:14:31,460 Whoo! 302 00:14:33,850 --> 00:14:36,217 At least I have the common decency to shave mine. 303 00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:37,815 Before you pull them out in public? 304 00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:39,972 So you're complaining about the guy's sense of decorum? 305 00:14:40,050 --> 00:14:42,291 Absolutely. We live in a society. 306 00:14:42,410 --> 00:14:44,014 I can't believe we are this fucked. 307 00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:47,011 Guys, something interesting just happened. 308 00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,775 So, I downloaded Wajeed's Bro app out of curiosity 309 00:14:49,850 --> 00:14:51,500 and found it very sticky. 310 00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:53,732 I've never felt like I was anyone's bro before. 311 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:56,541 The only people who have used that term with me were assailants, 312 00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:59,853 but I started bro-ing people and getting bro'ed back. 313 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,370 This is my nightmare. 314 00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:03,976 And all of a sudden, I'm bros with all kinds of people, 315 00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:06,212 including a guy from Branscomb Ventures. 316 00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:09,214 Branscomb? That's a solid shop. 317 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,901 Yes. So we bro'ed about this and that, 318 00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:14,655 and then when he heard I worked at Pied Piper, 319 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:18,098 he got excited, he triple liked my bro, and he asked about meeting us. 320 00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:20,861 Okay, but does he know about the lawsuit? 321 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,650 Yeah, I told him. I mean, you know what they say, 322 00:15:23,730 --> 00:15:25,812 - "Bros disclose." - No one says that. 323 00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:28,655 Wait, doesn't Branscomb already have its own compression play? 324 00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:30,175 Yeah, but not a good one, apparently. 325 00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:33,373 I mean, they want to sit down with all of us, engineers included. 326 00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:36,256 That only happens in a second or third meeting. 327 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:38,253 Technical due diligence. That's good. 328 00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:41,334 Okay, Jared, what did you tell him? 329 00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:44,141 Um, I was waiting a bit to bro him back, 330 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,621 so that I don't seem over-eager. 331 00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:46,930 Bro him back! Bro him back. 332 00:15:47,130 --> 00:15:48,256 Bro him. 333 00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:50,054 We're not dead yet, guys. 334 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,497 Well, get some sleep, my bros. 335 00:15:52,570 --> 00:15:54,937 I'll set the meeting, and, um, 336 00:15:55,010 --> 00:15:57,980 then I'll go find some hoes to prioritize behind you. 337 00:15:59,850 --> 00:16:01,932 Are you trying to say, "Bros before hoes"? 338 00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:04,577 It's sexist, but it's about friendship. 339 00:16:06,610 --> 00:16:09,375 Middle-out is based on a completely new probabilistic model. 340 00:16:09,450 --> 00:16:11,339 It finds long range structures that's hidden 341 00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:14,300 even to domain-optimized algorithms. 342 00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:17,141 I'm sorry, is this too in the weeds? 343 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,338 Not at all. Take us into the weeds. 344 00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:21,857 Wouldn't you rather hear our go-to-market strategy? 345 00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:23,819 You mentioned something earlier about 346 00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:27,531 stacking Middle-out on top of another compression algorithm. 347 00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:28,896 How does that even work? 348 00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:32,179 I mean, you can't compress something that's already compressed to entropy. 349 00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,217 Right? 350 00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:34,860 WOW. Uh... 351 00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:37,536 I don't really get too many of those questions in meetings like these. 352 00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:40,859 But it's actually easier if I show you. 353 00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,898 - May I? - Absolutely. 354 00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:45,780 Okay, great. Here I go. 355 00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:48,899 Stacking Middle-out is actually very real. 356 00:16:48,970 --> 00:16:51,576 - Let's take... - Do you have to pee, Jared? 357 00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:53,778 Because I have to pee. 358 00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:55,978 I would love to pee. 359 00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:01,214 There. When you stack Middle-out... 360 00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:06,017 - They're brain-raping us, right? - They definitely are. 361 00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:08,172 Shit. All right, wait here. 362 00:17:15,330 --> 00:17:17,139 What are you doing? 363 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,258 I told you I didn't have to go pee. What is happening? 364 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,537 Those guys are never going to fund us. We need to leave now. 365 00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:23,618 What are you talking about? This is going great. 366 00:17:23,690 --> 00:17:26,261 I mean, VCs are never interested in how Middle-out actually works. 367 00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:28,253 Of course they're interested, because they want to steal it. 368 00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:29,855 This is a classic brain-rape. 369 00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,058 - What? - We did it at Hooli all the time. 370 00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:35,100 We'd schedule meetings with companies so they'd explain their technology, 371 00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:37,093 then we'd use their ideas in our products. 372 00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:39,292 - Like what happened to Yelp. - Yes. 373 00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:41,372 It's like when somebody says they want to go birding with you, 374 00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:43,418 but really they just want to get you alone in the woods, 375 00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:44,730 so they can take your binoculars. 376 00:17:45,050 --> 00:17:47,371 Look, those guys aren't doing technical due diligence. 377 00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:50,181 They're not even consultants. They're a compression company. 378 00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:52,378 One of them has braces, for fuck's sake. 379 00:17:52,450 --> 00:17:54,259 - Braces! - Shit. 380 00:17:54,330 --> 00:17:55,820 Dinesh and Gilfoyle, they're still in there. 381 00:17:55,890 --> 00:17:59,019 Middle-out doesn't restrict itself to H-264's two-dimensional grid 382 00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:00,899 or time-bound patterns at all. 383 00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:03,177 This is great. Great. 384 00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:07,091 You know, they usually don't bring us to these things and I think I know why. 385 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,298 It's 'cause we steal the show. 386 00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:10,656 You guys are really helpful. 387 00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:13,017 All right, shut it down. Meeting over. We're out of here. 388 00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:15,172 No more pictures, fucking assholes. 389 00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,935 - I could email you... - Why is this not coming off? 390 00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:20,941 No, you're not emailing anybody. 391 00:18:22,490 --> 00:18:23,821 Thank you, Jared. 392 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,210 We were bros. 393 00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:27,855 We were bros. 394 00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:31,296 Yo, yo, yo, just want to thank everyone 395 00:18:31,370 --> 00:18:33,418 for coming out to this Kickstarter party for Bro, 396 00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,936 the app that proves that you can change the world 397 00:18:36,010 --> 00:18:37,580 in just one word! 398 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,856 Actually, it's just half a word. 399 00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:44,058 I know. It's so efficient. 400 00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:47,740 Now as you can see, we're just $5,000 away from our goal. 401 00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:49,574 But we got a whole hour left, people. 402 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,618 So let's get those "bronations" going. 403 00:18:51,690 --> 00:18:53,340 Donations are funny, right? 404 00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:55,851 I mean, why would anybody donate to something like Bro 405 00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:58,615 and not a homeless shelter or schools? 406 00:18:58,690 --> 00:19:01,091 Cancer? That's still out there. 407 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,375 Any of us could have it. 408 00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:04,935 Food for thought... 409 00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:07,134 Which a lot of people also don't have. 410 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,490 Have a great party, guys- 411 00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:11,260 You could donate if you want, 412 00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:14,413 but he's throwing away half the world's market. 413 00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:16,618 You know what "bro" means in Mandarin? 414 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:18,419 It means "asshole." 415 00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:21,779 You know what "bro" means in Portuguese? "Rapist." 416 00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:24,701 In Latvian, it roughly translates to 417 00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:27,137 "one who beheads the messiah." 418 00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:30,932 In Finnish, "bro" means "a baby's erection." 419 00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:35,058 In Urdu, "bro" is actually short for "brokhtaver," 420 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,339 which means "a dildo for a man." 421 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:39,821 A man's dildo. 422 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,015 "Fecal eclipse." 423 00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:43,774 it loses something in translation. 424 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,739 We don't have a word for it. They do. 425 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,221 It's "bro." 426 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,538 You know what "bro" means in Navajo? 427 00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:52,659 A really joyful person with mental disabilities. 428 00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:54,573 All right, less than a minute to go, people. 429 00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:57,494 And we're just two grand away. Come on, you can do it, come on. 430 00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:01,016 That's that I'm talking about! 431 00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:04,537 $500 from Gilfoyle_Luci4. 432 00:20:04,610 --> 00:20:07,819 Where you at, bro? Wherever you're at, you're my bro. 433 00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:13,934 Looks like I got here just in time, bro. 434 00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:16,331 What the fuck did you do that for? Do you know how this works? 435 00:20:16,450 --> 00:20:18,134 If you put him over the edge, we both owe him money? 436 00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,941 But you have to pay a lot more. 437 00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:23,456 - 30 seconds left! - I'm effectively leveraging your misery. 438 00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:24,497 Somebody! Anybody! 439 00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:26,015 I'm like the Warren Buffett of fucking with you. 440 00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,775 - $1,100! Come on, bros. - You're a dick. 441 00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:32,297 Only $1,100 left. I might be good for that. 442 00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:35,535 - Gilfoyle, please. - I'll tell you what. 443 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,978 You pay me $500, and I won't pledge anymore. 444 00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:41,337 For 500 bucks, you save $5,000. 445 00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:42,895 I'm not giving you a dime. 446 00:20:42,970 --> 00:20:44,620 - Nine, eight, seven... - Okay, I'm pledging. 447 00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:47,813 No. Stop. $500. It costs $500. Let me... Stop it. $500. 448 00:20:47,890 --> 00:20:49,130 - Okay. - Three, two... 449 00:20:49,210 --> 00:20:51,577 it doesn't matter. It's not like he's going to make his... 450 00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,371 What the fuck? 451 00:20:55,490 --> 00:20:57,970 Yes, yes, yes! We did it! Who was it? 452 00:20:58,050 --> 00:20:59,700 That's not how that was supposed to go. 453 00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:01,972 Mika! Mika, I love you, Mika! 454 00:21:03,410 --> 00:21:05,617 Who is that tall Asian woman? 455 00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:08,977 Some woman that Wajeed is fucking. 456 00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,500 She was in the Olympics. 457 00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:12,571 Ah... 458 00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:16,491 He really is the cool cousin. 459 00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:19,452 Even with the 50 grand we got at TechCrunch, 460 00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:22,340 we've only got a few weeks left to runway before we crash and burn. 461 00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:24,139 Richard, if it makes you feel any better, 462 00:21:24,210 --> 00:21:26,258 I put that Branscomb guy in his place. 463 00:21:26,330 --> 00:21:27,695 I dropped him from Bro, 464 00:21:27,770 --> 00:21:30,580 but not before I sent one final angry "bro." 465 00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:33,895 What do you mean? You can make them angry? You can make "bros" angry? 466 00:21:34,170 --> 00:21:36,571 Well, he made this bro angry. 467 00:21:36,650 --> 00:21:40,097 But technically, no, the "bro" I sent was identical 468 00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:41,171 to the previous "bros" I sent, 469 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,696 but I think he'll infer the anger from context. 470 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,454 This is Ron on the phone. I gotta take it. 471 00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:46,816 Yeah, okay. 472 00:21:47,770 --> 00:21:49,010 - Hello, Ron. - Hey, Richie. 473 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:50,933 I gotta bounce on over to my mind-body thing, 474 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:53,012 but I just wanted to give you the good news. 475 00:21:53,130 --> 00:21:56,498 I got you a top-shelf litigator. 476 00:21:56,770 --> 00:21:59,216 Yeah, uh, we should probably discuss that. 477 00:21:59,290 --> 00:22:01,941 You're gonna sweat me about the cost, right? Don't. 478 00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:05,298 I hammered them on their fee. They're going to bring it way down. 479 00:22:05,370 --> 00:22:07,372 Okay, so how much? 480 00:22:07,570 --> 00:22:13,498 This whole thing is going to cost you two, 2.5 million tops. 481 00:22:13,610 --> 00:22:16,614 - What? - I know, right. It's like it's free. 482 00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:18,897 I told you, I pay for myself. 483 00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:21,735 So I'm going to need you to head on down to their offices tomorrow 484 00:22:21,810 --> 00:22:25,212 at 10:00 a.m. You slap an 80K retainer on them, 485 00:22:25,330 --> 00:22:27,219 and we are good to go. 486 00:22:27,450 --> 00:22:29,054 Oh, shit. 487 00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:32,572 Okay, I actually have another call, so... 488 00:22:32,650 --> 00:22:33,981 I'll get out of your pubes. 489 00:22:34,090 --> 00:22:37,094 I'm emailing you intros to the guys you're meeting tomorrow. 490 00:22:37,170 --> 00:22:38,331 Later. 491 00:22:40,730 --> 00:22:41,811 Hello? 492 00:22:43,090 --> 00:22:45,331 Oh. Uh, hello. 493 00:22:45,850 --> 00:22:46,897 Yes. 494 00:22:48,050 --> 00:22:49,051 Uh-huh. 495 00:22:51,210 --> 00:22:53,497 Sure, just me? 496 00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:56,500 Okay, what time? 497 00:23:03,010 --> 00:23:04,171 Hello. 498 00:23:04,570 --> 00:23:06,732 Richard. Thanks for coming. 499 00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:12,851 What are we doing, Richard? 500 00:23:13,210 --> 00:23:14,655 Lawsuits and lawyers? 501 00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:18,656 You out there getting rejected by every VC in town? 502 00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,141 Neither of us want this, 503 00:23:20,210 --> 00:23:23,020 but maybe together we can find a way out. 504 00:23:23,530 --> 00:23:25,453 Yeah, easy. Drop the lawsuit. 505 00:23:25,690 --> 00:23:28,534 - You know I can't do that. - I didn't steal Pied Piper from you, 506 00:23:28,610 --> 00:23:29,611 and you know it. 507 00:23:29,890 --> 00:23:32,131 Well, that's up to the courts to decide. 508 00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:33,700 And until they do, you're frozen. 509 00:23:33,890 --> 00:23:36,496 Meanwhile, my best engineers are working around the clock 510 00:23:36,610 --> 00:23:38,851 to get me a Middle-out algorithm that surpasses yours. 511 00:23:38,930 --> 00:23:41,661 And in January when we have it and we come to market, 512 00:23:41,730 --> 00:23:43,573 you won't just be frozen, you'll be dead. 513 00:23:43,890 --> 00:23:46,018 You played your best hand, Richard, and you lost. 514 00:23:46,210 --> 00:23:48,577 It's just business. So... 515 00:23:48,730 --> 00:23:52,701 Wouldn't you rather get something out of Pied Piper while you still can? 516 00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:56,612 - Let me acquire you. - What? No way. Are you kidding me? 517 00:23:56,690 --> 00:23:58,180 We should have just done this the first time. 518 00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:00,821 I know you thought about it. It's the perfect fit. 519 00:24:00,890 --> 00:24:03,211 You get my infrastructure, I get your speed, 520 00:24:03,290 --> 00:24:06,180 and I get it today rather than in a month or two. 521 00:24:06,250 --> 00:24:07,411 What's the downside? 522 00:24:07,490 --> 00:24:09,219 The downside is that everything I'm building 523 00:24:09,290 --> 00:24:11,941 becomes the property of your giant soulless corporation. 524 00:24:12,570 --> 00:24:14,572 And what exactly do you think you're building? 525 00:24:14,690 --> 00:24:17,694 You're out there trying to get funding so you can hire people, 526 00:24:17,770 --> 00:24:20,011 scale up, roll out a product, IPO, 527 00:24:20,090 --> 00:24:23,219 and eventually become a publicly-traded what? 528 00:24:23,970 --> 00:24:25,256 Corporation. 529 00:24:25,370 --> 00:24:26,496 We would be different. 530 00:24:26,570 --> 00:24:29,733 I see. I suppose once Pied Piper is a billion-dollar company, 531 00:24:29,810 --> 00:24:32,939 you'll seek out your competitors and help them. 532 00:24:33,450 --> 00:24:34,975 Please. Let's face it. 533 00:24:35,050 --> 00:24:39,180 What is Hooli if not the best possible future version of Pied Piper? 534 00:24:39,250 --> 00:24:41,173 You think you're building something different? No. 535 00:24:41,250 --> 00:24:44,220 You're building something that's exactly the same as what I've already built, 536 00:24:44,290 --> 00:24:47,692 except with you instead of me. But that's not possible now, Richard. 537 00:24:48,130 --> 00:24:51,816 But you know what is? We could build something together, you and me. 538 00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:55,053 Something great. Something the world needs now. 539 00:24:55,490 --> 00:24:56,980 Look, I don't have to do this. 540 00:24:57,050 --> 00:25:00,213 I'm just trying to do the right thing here. 541 00:25:05,490 --> 00:25:08,300 So, what do you say? 542 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:12,580 You want to know what I say? 543 00:25:15,250 --> 00:25:17,014 Okay, here's what I say.