1 00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:09,101 This is a good buyout. 2 00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:11,308 It's way better than what Gavin offered before. 3 00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:14,509 And our packages include nice salaries, cash earn-outs, 4 00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:17,789 stock in Hooli, which vests after only four years of working there. 5 00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:19,908 I mean, this seems like a pretty good deal, right? 6 00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:23,382 Hooli? You really think we'd go work for Hooli? 7 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,150 What the fuck is wrong with you, Richard? 8 00:00:25,220 --> 00:00:26,870 What other options do we have? 9 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:30,107 We need serious funding to go up against Nucleus, 10 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:31,591 and we don't have that. 11 00:00:31,660 --> 00:00:34,186 - So, listen... - I will listen 12 00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:36,388 to the sound of you chortling on my balls. 13 00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:39,623 - Okay. - Richard, I'm an independent businessman. 14 00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:43,068 Emphasis on "independent" and "business." 15 00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:44,551 And "man," come to think of it. 16 00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,031 Count me out. 17 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,262 Actually, you're not being offered employment at Hooli. 18 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,705 They'd give you a full buyout. 19 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:51,826 How big? 20 00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:54,585 Okay, maybe I'm not explaining this right. 21 00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:57,743 I mean, when you heard Gavin Belson say it, it sounds much clearer. 22 00:00:57,820 --> 00:01:00,027 He's saying, rather than put us out of business, 23 00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:05,465 he'd prefer to just take us and make us part of his, um, Hoo... 24 00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:07,224 Okay, that does sound bad. 25 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:10,702 But, look, you just had to be there, okay? He's very articulate. 26 00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:14,862 Richard, you didn't leave your drink unattended around Gavin, did you? 27 00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:16,430 Yeah, you don't sound like yourself. 28 00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:18,980 I'm fine. And for what it's worth, 29 00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:21,711 Monica thinks this is the right thing for us to do. 30 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,506 What? 31 00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:26,307 You told Monica about this before you told us? 32 00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:27,745 I don't know, Gilfoyle. 33 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,824 I guess I thought that Monica would actually give this rational thought 34 00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:33,744 as opposed to ordering me to chortle her balls. 35 00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:36,141 Guys, Richard's right. 36 00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:38,422 It's a pretty good deal, all things considered, 37 00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,585 and, Richard, I'd understand if you took it. 38 00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:42,991 Thank you, Jared. 39 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:47,503 But Hooli was like an abusive spouse to me. 40 00:01:47,580 --> 00:01:52,381 You know, like that guy who married Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy? 41 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,508 It was dehumanizing. 42 00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:56,787 But then, you, Richard, you pulled me out of the life 43 00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:59,466 and you gave me hope and you gave me a sense of self-worth. 44 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:02,146 Like Richard Gere did to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. 45 00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:03,745 - This is weird. - Every day here 46 00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:06,061 has been like that shopping-spree scene. 47 00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:07,790 - I'm putting on hats. - Okay. 48 00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:10,622 Julia Roberts aside, 49 00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:14,500 are you guys saying that you'd rather me let Pied Piper die? 50 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,349 'Cause that's what's going to happen if we don't take this deal. 51 00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:21,821 Face it, Gavin has us cornered. 52 00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:24,430 He has you cornered. 53 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,662 Yeah, we can just go work on our apps. 54 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,305 Sorry, I'm not going to go work for Hooli. 55 00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:32,066 Same for me, except for the part about being sorry. 56 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:37,428 And this buyout sucks. I'll have nothing to do with it. 57 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,821 If you're going to go at this one, 58 00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,631 it sounds like you're going to have to go at it alone, hoss. 59 00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:45,823 Okay, so if I go to Hooli, you don't want your check? 60 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,823 Of course I want my check. What are you, insane? 61 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:52,383 But I think it's important for me to show my dissatisfaction by walking out on you. 62 00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,908 Richard, I'd understand if you took it, 63 00:02:57,980 --> 00:03:00,665 but watching you end up over there would break my heart. 64 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:04,581 What, like Julia Roberts from My Best Friend's Wedding? 65 00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:06,310 I never saw it. 66 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,349 Richard Hendricks. 67 00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:39,141 What's happening? 68 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:42,303 Russ Hanneman. True pleasure to meet you. 69 00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,621 Oh, yeah, I think I recognize you from TV. 70 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,350 Yeah, you do. 71 00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:48,787 Uh, how do you know who I am? 72 00:03:48,860 --> 00:03:50,703 Good question. No reason I would. 73 00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:53,431 But I watched your whole TechCrunch thing online, twice. 74 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,070 That whole spazz thing you did... 75 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,790 That was fucking priceless. 76 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:00,470 So I called the Pied Piper number, 77 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,986 and somebody said you were heading over to Hooli. 78 00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:05,062 The guy sounded like he was either Chinese or retarded. 79 00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:06,744 Uh, Man-Yang. 80 00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:07,981 Yeah, I don't know what that means. 81 00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:11,462 You know, Richard, back before I blew up, I got fucked with, too. 82 00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:13,787 You think you're the first guy to take this ride? 83 00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:15,828 You're hot, you're sued, 84 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:18,471 then the guy suing you offers you a buyout, am I right? 85 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:22,143 Wow. Yeah, actually you're exactly right. That's what's happening. 86 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,587 - Like my ride? - Uh... 87 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,941 They don't make it in this color. They did it just for me. 88 00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:29,785 Guys in this town don't have the balls to drive a car like this. 89 00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:32,784 They're billionaires and they drive fuckin' Priuses. 90 00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:34,191 Why? 91 00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:36,501 I think mainly just environmental concerns. 92 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,186 They're all lemmings, Richard. Everyone in this town is. 93 00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:41,501 Just look at them. Lemming, lemming. 94 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,661 Okay. 95 00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:46,464 I scratched my car. 96 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,947 It's the rivet in my pants. These are cool pants, too. 97 00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:54,184 Fuck, that's a deep scratch. That will not buff out. 98 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,944 Motherfucker! Fuck it. 99 00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:58,864 Let me ask you a question, Richard. Have you ever had beef? 100 00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:01,022 Like, with someone, like fighting? 101 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,387 - No, the food. - Oh. Yeah. 102 00:05:03,460 --> 00:05:04,871 No, you haven't. Get in. 103 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:08,022 _kay. - Giddy up! 104 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:10,586 - You in? - Almost. 105 00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:12,025 - Let's do this, Richard. - Okay. 106 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:16,221 Shit. "D." Drive! 107 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,587 Come on, fuck you! Drive! 108 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:23,544 Which is why I counsel any young founder today 109 00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:28,228 to pursue your dream not for profit or valuation or material wealth, 110 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,029 but for the good of humanity. 111 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,023 Which is easy for you to say, being a billionaire. 112 00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:36,582 Let me change the subject. I have... 113 00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:37,661 I don't care for your tone, Kara. 114 00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:42,826 I'm getting a little tired of this bias against the leaders of our industry. 115 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:46,382 I'm continually creating jobs and helping people, 116 00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:48,110 and I'm tired of getting slapped for it. 117 00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:51,588 I didn't steal the money I have, and I resent being treated like I did. 118 00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:55,904 You know, there is a climate in this country that is very dangerous. 119 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,142 It's dangerous out there for billionaires? 120 00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:02,225 There's that attitude again, Kara. 121 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:03,950 Billionaires are people, too. 122 00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:08,582 We are leaders in technology, in industry, in finance. 123 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,105 Look at history. 124 00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:13,309 Do you know who else vilified a tiny minority 125 00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:16,702 of financiers and progressive thinkers called the Jews? 126 00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:23,230 Wait a minute. Did you just compare the treatment of billionaires in America today 127 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,951 to the plight of the Jews in Nazi Germany? 128 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:27,431 Absolutely. 129 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:32,387 One could argue that billionaires are actually treated worse. 130 00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:35,421 And we didn't even do anything wrong. 131 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:39,911 We're an even smaller minority. There's a lot more of them. 132 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,226 These are facts. 133 00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:46,541 So then it hits me. 134 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,827 We take this thing called "the radio" 135 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:52,143 and put it on this new thing called "the Internet." 136 00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:54,109 And no one was doing it. No one. 137 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,069 So we started Hoovering up the deals. 138 00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:58,142 Eat this, open your mouth. Open your mouth. Good. 139 00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:00,666 Eat it, eat it. Don't chew, just let it dissolve. 140 00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:01,901 - Hold. - This is very hot. 141 00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:03,470 Hold. 142 00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:06,020 It just think it's physically impossible for it to dissolve in my mouth. 143 00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,909 Hold. Now chew, chew, chew! 144 00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,270 It's very hot. It's good, it's good. 145 00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:13,866 Good? It's the fucking best. This whole place is. 146 00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:17,023 You call this place and they don't know you, they pretend they don't speak English. 147 00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:18,346 You see a white face in here? No, you don't. 148 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:23,750 Anyway, next thing you know, we IPO, stock triples in a day and AOL gobbles us up. 149 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:27,905 All of a sudden, I'm 22 years young and I'm worth 1.2 B. 150 00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:32,861 Now a couple decades later, I'm worth 1.4. You do the math. 151 00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:38,504 Okay. Well, that's a gain of $200 million over 20 years. 152 00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,349 16.66 repeating. 153 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:43,742 That's less than 1% return. 154 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:45,948 Inflation is, like, 1.7. 155 00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:48,546 I think CDs are 2%. 156 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:51,100 So that's less than a CD. 157 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:54,547 Well, no one ever got laid putting money in the bank. Am I right? 158 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:57,908 Those bad boys right there, they're all you. You gotta flip 'em over. That side's done. 159 00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:00,870 Listen, Richard, I want to back you. 160 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:03,068 You build whatever the fuck you've got going 161 00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:05,586 in that crazy, fucked-up, genius brain up there. 162 00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:08,266 It's all up to you. I'm white glove, hands the fuck off. 163 00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:09,990 Let's make you a billion dollars. 164 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,710 Let's make me a billion more. How's that sound? 165 00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:14,266 You're not worried about the lawsuit? 166 00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:17,344 Shit, no. I got three nannies suing me right now, one of them for no reason. 167 00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:19,421 So come on, let's do this. 168 00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,781 Let's kick Gavin Belson's teeth in at CES. 169 00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:24,908 And then when you're really worth something, 170 00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:27,904 I'm gonna take you back to those same spineless VCs who said no, 171 00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:31,507 and I'm gonna shove you right up their assholes. 172 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:34,821 Um... 173 00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,743 That's a very enticing offer. 174 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,949 And I wish I didn't have to do this Hooli thing, but I should probably at least... 175 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:44,708 "Should"? No, no, Richard. Don't do what you should do. 176 00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:45,781 Do what you want. 177 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:51,142 I mean, should I pay 800 bucks for that tiny piece of meat? 178 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:54,667 Of course not. But I do it anyway. Because I want it. 179 00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:59,140 Simple question, Richard, "What do you want?" 180 00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:06,948 Gentlemen, what's the update on the apps? Or the app-date, if you will? 181 00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:08,465 I will not. 182 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:10,508 Here's my app-date. 183 00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:13,982 I was excited to work on it, and then I looked at it with fresh eyes. 184 00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:18,622 Wajeed was right. It's really shitty. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. 185 00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:19,940 But I bought your pitch. 186 00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:21,590 Yeah, you fucked up, too. 187 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,901 My app is still great. 188 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,506 But in the time that we've been clicking around with Pied Piper, 189 00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:29,982 ten other apps that basically do the exact same thing have come out. 190 00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:32,711 Guys, if I list you as references, 191 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,987 can I count on you to say nice things about me? 192 00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:36,107 Be honest. 193 00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:38,501 Do you want me to be honest or nice? 194 00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:50,669 What, did you get a parking ticket or something? 195 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,789 Yeah, I still can't see it. Could you use your mouth? 196 00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:01,949 All right. Just read it. 197 00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:05,787 - $5 million? - Yeah, yeah. 198 00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:09,865 You guys are not going back to Hooli, and neither am I. 199 00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:11,186 How the fuck did you get that? 200 00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:14,309 Russ Hanneman? 201 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,382 Oh, Monica, I see you got my text. 202 00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:17,871 Are you out of your mind? 203 00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,341 Nice to see you, too, and, no, I'm not. 204 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,151 You're putting your entire future 205 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:26,986 in the hands of the man who put radio on the Internet? 206 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,745 I can only assume that he mentioned that to you. 207 00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:31,390 It may have come up. 208 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,181 Oh, this guy. That's the guy? 209 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,785 Yeah, that's the guy. 210 00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:41,866 Does he actually smile like that with his upper and lower teeth at the same time? 211 00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:43,624 The guy is a joke. 212 00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:44,826 How does he even do that? 213 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:48,063 He's a boorish, pompous, womanizing douchebag 214 00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:52,304 who got lucky, like, 20 years ago and hasn't done anything since then. 215 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,146 Sounds like Erlich. 216 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,700 Sounds like he knows who he is and he doesn't apologize for it. 217 00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:58,390 So he's a joke. Who cares? 218 00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:02,909 This joke is willing to give us $5 million to fund Pied Piper. 219 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,221 And he doesn't own anything. This whole thing is a loan. 220 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:08,747 Yeah, the demand note is structured as a loan. 221 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:11,983 But he does have the option to take repayment in the form of equity, 222 00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:14,301 and he does get two board seats right off the bat. 223 00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:16,787 Yeah. Which means you won't get rid of him, ever. 224 00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:19,431 If you succeed, he gets a huge chunk of Pied Piper 225 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:23,505 and if you fail, this lunatic has ratchets to seize control of the company. 226 00:11:24,340 --> 00:11:27,549 Love it or hate it, at least Hooli is a real company. 227 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,065 You should take their offer. 228 00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:30,665 I should. I should. 229 00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,429 But I'm tired of doing what I should do, 230 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,741 and I kind of want to start doing what I want to do. 231 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:40,144 And what I want to do is be a self-centered, irrational asshole 232 00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:43,508 that doesn't compromise on anything, at all, ever. 233 00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,582 And when Pied Piper is a big fucking deal, 234 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:48,670 Russ is going to take us back to all those VCs who passed on us 235 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:51,346 and shove us right up their fucking assholes. 236 00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:55,141 What? 237 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:57,746 Yeah, I don't want any part of that last bit. 238 00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:59,709 It sounded better when Russ said it. 239 00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:02,784 Again, I am not good at quoting in context. 240 00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:05,750 It doesn't matter. I'm going to... 241 00:12:05,820 --> 00:12:07,265 I'm going to call Ron LaFlamme, 242 00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:09,946 and I'm going to tell him that we're taking Russ's money. 243 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,784 Okay, so I'm supposed to tell Laurie Bream 244 00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:16,024 that she is publicly co-invested with Russ fucking Hanneman? 245 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,944 So, you'd rather me sell my soul to Gavin Belson 246 00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:22,308 than you just having an awkward conversation with your boss? 247 00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:24,508 Oh, thanks, Monica. 248 00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:26,947 The guy has calf implants, Richard. 249 00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:28,670 How do they look? 250 00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:31,986 Everyone on Twitter is saying I'm an anti-Semite. You were there. 251 00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:35,507 I was. And what I saw was an anti anti-Semite. 252 00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:39,380 Hello? Did you hear from Hendricks? 253 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,346 What do you mean he went with someone else? 254 00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:43,831 Who did he go with? 255 00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,984 Are you fucking kidding me? 256 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,548 - Russ Hanneman? - That's right. 257 00:12:55,620 --> 00:12:57,861 The Russ Hanneman with whom I am familiar? 258 00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:59,345 Yes. 259 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:02,867 That is with whom they chose to go? Russ Hanneman? 260 00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:04,021 Yes. 261 00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:10,786 He's a vulgar human being. He's utterly distasteful. 262 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:14,626 And it would not be inaccurate to say 263 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,431 that we at Raviga 264 00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:20,511 are now co-investors 265 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,870 with Russ Hanneman. 266 00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:26,023 - I tried to talk him out of it. I did, but... - Mmm-hmm. 267 00:13:27,420 --> 00:13:28,706 You know what? 268 00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:31,431 Peter used to say that every successful company 269 00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:35,585 could look back at a defining moment early on where they would have died 270 00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:38,584 had it not been for the courage and the tenacity 271 00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:43,382 and maybe the insanity of one visionary person who put it all on the line 272 00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:45,667 even though it seemed like a huge mistake at the time. 273 00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:49,865 A moment where all the metrics and the numbers didn't mean anything. 274 00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:54,741 It was all about the emotion. It was about belief, rational or irrational. 275 00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:56,310 And I think... 276 00:13:57,780 --> 00:14:00,829 I hope that I just witnessed that. 277 00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,822 I did not understand any of what you just said. 278 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:08,821 Oh... 279 00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:09,947 - None of it? - None of it. 280 00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:14,742 I will not interact with Russ Hanneman in any way. Is that clear? 281 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,106 It is, Laurie. 282 00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:20,185 I feel very strongly that you should have prevented this. 283 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,911 - This exchange is now over. - Okay, but I... 284 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,709 This exchange is now over, thank you. 285 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:30,945 Well, Richard? 286 00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:33,944 Firstly, congratulations on finally being funded. 287 00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:37,820 I hope you took a little time out to enjoy this moment and celebrate. 288 00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:39,061 I certainly did. 289 00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:42,103 - You did? - I did indeed. 290 00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:43,830 I celebrated earlier this morning. 291 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,589 You did, this morning? 292 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,870 Oh, yeah. 293 00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:56,187 But now it's down to business. 294 00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:59,867 We have a huge amount of work to do between now and January. 295 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,544 I know $5 million sounds like a lot of money, 296 00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:06,305 but even if we set our burn rate conservatively, 297 00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:08,462 it's only going to last 18 months. 298 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:11,305 Litigation wipes out half our funds right off the bat. 299 00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:15,066 And we have to stand up servers, pay for financial and HR, 300 00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:18,826 pay LaFlamme, and payroll alone is going to be pretty hefty. 301 00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:23,303 Did you see the hiring proposals that Dinesh and Gilfoyle submitted? 302 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,826 - No. - They're untenable. 303 00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:29,427 Well, I need four web-app devs, two front end, two back end. 304 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,822 I need a guy to turn your ref code into a production-quality library. 305 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:36,427 I need two more guys to port the decompression libraries, 306 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,470 do JavaScript, iOS, Android, 307 00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:43,101 and I need a few more guys to build out our APIs, 308 00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:45,831 so I need all those guys. 309 00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:48,466 Ditto. I need every one of those guys on my list. 310 00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:51,350 Okay, it's just that there's... That's 15 people each. 311 00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:53,229 I mean, that's like an entire division at Facebook. 312 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,268 Fine, I could do it with 12. 313 00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:57,707 I could do it with 11 because I'm a better leader than Dinesh. 314 00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,350 Okay, great. 315 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:03,584 Well, good news. I got them to cut it down to 12 and 11. 316 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:07,900 A positive step, but we need to cut a little deeper. 317 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:12,064 Okay, well, what's the max amount of people we can afford to hire for them? 318 00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,141 Three for each of them. 319 00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,785 Three? Are you serious? 320 00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,226 Can you just tell them? 321 00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:18,461 Oh, I have, several times. 322 00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:23,023 But they just kept saying if I didn't waste so much money at the butthole doctor, 323 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:24,226 then we'd have enough money, 324 00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:27,110 but I pay for all my medical out of pocket. 325 00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:30,430 We can only afford to hire three people for each of you. 326 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,025 I'm sorry, but that's it. 327 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,626 - Okay, that's fine. - It works for me. 328 00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,226 What? 329 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:39,349 If you could do it with three people, why didn't you just say so? 330 00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:41,866 Because we're negotiating against each other. 331 00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:46,025 No, we're not. We're on the same team. We want the same thing. 332 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:50,822 Disagree. I just got you to give me three guys for a job I could easily do with two. 333 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,345 God damn it. 334 00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:55,505 Knock, knock, who's there? This guy. 335 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,581 Hey, Russ, what's up? 336 00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:59,391 - How are you? - I'm good. What brings you here? 337 00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:01,940 I had to meet this lawyer and his fucking kid's sick, 338 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,306 so now I have a few hours to kill. 339 00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:09,228 Did I see a McLaren 650 S with the extra-trim package pull into the driveway? 340 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,541 - Or did I not? - Yep. 341 00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:14,100 So this is the team. 342 00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:16,266 Whoa... 343 00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:19,344 I'm just gonna say it. This guy fucks. Am I right? 344 00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:21,070 'Cause I'm looking at the rest of you guys, 345 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,790 and this is the guy in the house doing all the fucking. 346 00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:23,861 Am I right? You know I'm right. 347 00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:27,103 This guy fucks. 348 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,261 Thank you. 349 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:29,546 Hey, what's up, Al-Qaeda? 350 00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:32,861 No, I'm totally kidding. I'm diffusing the tension with humor. 351 00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:34,749 What tension? There's tension? 352 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,743 No, of course not. Seriously, no beheadings, though, all right? 353 00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:38,868 Russ Hanneman. How you doing, motherfucker? 354 00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:41,269 Oh, man. 355 00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:44,150 I want to know what kind of fucked-up childhood this guy had. 356 00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:52,784 All right, fellas, what are we doing here? 357 00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:58,828 Mr. Hanneman, I am Erlich Bachman. I am the owner and proprietor of this house. 358 00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,823 So I can give you a tour of the premises if you like, 359 00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:03,631 show you where the actual fucking happens. 360 00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:04,826 Nah, I'm good. 361 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:08,825 Listen, I don't want to disturb the flow. I just wanted to check out the magic in action. 362 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:09,981 So I'm gonna grab a seat right over there. 363 00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:12,301 I'm gonna be a fly on the wall. I'm not gonna say a word. Shh. 364 00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:16,220 We have a meeting that we were going to do, so maybe we could just do that? 365 00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:19,742 It was nice to meet you, Russ. 366 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,504 So, uh, I think we'd actually save a lot of time 367 00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:25,187 if we got on the same page in regards to the budget. 368 00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,149 So what I need from you guys is to... 369 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:29,302 I'm sorry, do you really talk like that? 370 00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:32,184 - Like what? - Like that. 371 00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:35,582 I mean, this is... This is my normal speaking voice. 372 00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:37,788 Like right now, like how you're talking, is that real? 373 00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:39,669 This one? This is real. 374 00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:40,781 Wow! 375 00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:43,304 All right, yeah. Doesn't matter, go, go. 376 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,826 This is the same way as I was talking back there. 377 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,709 - Keep going. - At the door. Okay. 378 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:53,225 Okay, so I think, actually, if we went back closer to... 379 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,382 C Dog! You, homo. 380 00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:57,508 - ... our requests with an eye... - Nothing. 381 00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:59,025 No, you should come here. 382 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,381 - Keep going, keep going. - Okay. 383 00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:04,304 - ... that's more in line with... - What's the address here again? 384 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,461 I would just clear it with Erlich... 385 00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:08,541 Hang on. 386 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:12,309 It's 5230 Newell Road. 387 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,309 Did you get that? Keep going, keep going. 388 00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:17,303 - Okay, back to it. - Get a fucking pen. 389 00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:18,870 Go again. Say it one more time. 390 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,066 The address is... 391 00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:23,269 - Go for it. - It's 5230 Newell Road. 392 00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,225 Keep going. Did you get that? 393 00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,031 I don't know. He's a fucker. 394 00:19:28,740 --> 00:19:31,710 That little Hendricks prick fucked me over, again. 395 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:34,704 I want this suit to be more than a holding action. I want to win it. 396 00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:35,941 What can we do here? 397 00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:40,947 Well, this lawsuit is going to be a protracted and time-consuming ordeal. 398 00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:44,103 But with our superior resources, top litigators, 399 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,746 we feel this gives us the advantage over Pied Piper. 400 00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:48,709 Translation? 401 00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:54,230 Ultimately, the suit will turn based on proving that Pied Piper was created here at Hooli. 402 00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:58,270 Now so far, concrete evidence of that is thin. 403 00:19:58,340 --> 00:19:59,626 So thicken it! 404 00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:02,751 Gavin, your visitors are here. 405 00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:05,347 Ah! Gentlemen! And lady. 406 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,142 Thank you for coming today to open a dialogue. 407 00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:10,426 Now if you'll follow me. 408 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,947 In an effort to hardwire sensitivity into our corporate mind-space, 409 00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:18,150 I'm having a scale replica of the Hall of Names at Yad Vashem 410 00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:20,109 constructed right next to the bike shop. 411 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,870 Okay, so... 412 00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:27,422 No, no, no! It's got to be afternoon. Afternoon. 413 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,628 No, no. Bring him, too. Which Raoul? Lawyer Raoul? 414 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:32,465 Litigation and payroll are both capped. 415 00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:34,668 SG&A, we still have a little wiggle room. 416 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,624 And we're going to punt... 417 00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:38,181 No, fuckhead! 418 00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:40,991 Sir, you know you can turn the volume down on that. 419 00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:42,983 Just on the side. 420 00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:44,824 Where does that leave us? 421 00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:46,265 Let's go open an IPA, huh? 422 00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:49,105 I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you. Someone was talking. What did you say? 423 00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:51,191 Keep going, keep going. 424 00:20:51,260 --> 00:20:53,422 - Right. - Richard, one potential issue. 425 00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:56,146 Our hosting fees could become a challenge as we scale. 426 00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:59,588 Right, but we can offset a lot of that once we get a few customers 427 00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:01,344 and start a subscription-revenue model. 428 00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:04,822 What? Revenue? No, no, no. No revenue. I'll call you back. 429 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,345 What? 430 00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:07,990 Why would you go after revenue? 431 00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:11,191 Because to make money. 432 00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:12,989 No. 433 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,422 If you show revenue, people will ask, "How much?" And it will never be enough. 434 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,266 The company that was the 100xer, the 1,000xer, becomes the 2x dog. 435 00:21:20,340 --> 00:21:23,708 But if you have no revenue, you can say you're pre-revenue. 436 00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:25,629 You're a potential pure play. 437 00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:28,983 It's not about how much you earn, it's about what you're worth. 438 00:21:29,060 --> 00:21:30,710 And who's worth the most? 439 00:21:30,780 --> 00:21:32,111 Companies that lose money. 440 00:21:32,180 --> 00:21:34,023 Pinterest, Snapchat, no revenue. 441 00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,865 Amazon has lost money every fucking quarter for the last 20 fucking years 442 00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:38,305 and that Bezos motherfucker is the king. 443 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,347 The king. 444 00:21:39,460 --> 00:21:42,031 There's no revenue. No one wants to see revenue. Go. 445 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:48,305 I just thought that mainly the goal of companies is to make money. 446 00:21:48,380 --> 00:21:50,269 Yeah, no, no, no. That's not how it works. 447 00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:52,342 I don't want to make a little bit of money every day. 448 00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:54,661 I want to make a fuckton of money all at once. ROI. 449 00:21:57,140 --> 00:21:59,746 ROI. You know what that stands for? 450 00:22:00,220 --> 00:22:02,063 - Uh, return on... - Return on investment! 451 00:22:02,140 --> 00:22:03,983 No. 452 00:22:04,060 --> 00:22:07,223 - Radio on Internet. - Internet. 453 00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:08,461 Did you put radio on the Internet? 454 00:22:09,140 --> 00:22:11,142 - No. - So everything you just did, do the opposite. 455 00:22:11,660 --> 00:22:15,665 So you want us to take files and make them bigger? 456 00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:19,305 That guy! 457 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:21,348 That guy is crazy. I love that guy. 458 00:22:21,460 --> 00:22:24,748 You said that you were going to be hands-off. Is that still happening? 459 00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:25,981 Yes, please. 460 00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:28,791 Do me a favor, make the right fucking decisions and leave me the fuck out. 461 00:22:28,860 --> 00:22:31,830 You think Corey wants to be here? Corey, let's bounce. Come on. 462 00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:34,983 - Uh, Richard? The check. - Right. 463 00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:39,150 Mr. Hanneman, I think the bank had some issue with the check. 464 00:22:39,220 --> 00:22:41,666 They said the funds are on hold for some reason? 465 00:22:41,740 --> 00:22:44,505 Wait, you didn't try to cash that check, did you? 466 00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:46,309 Did you try to cash that check I gave you? 467 00:22:46,380 --> 00:22:49,190 That's the show check. That's the one you frame and put up on your wall. 468 00:22:49,260 --> 00:22:50,944 You didn't try to cash that, did you? 469 00:22:52,380 --> 00:22:55,190 So do we arrange a wire transfer or... 470 00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:57,422 No. No, you don't get it all at once. 471 00:22:57,540 --> 00:23:00,020 We set your burn rate and then I cut you a new check every other week 472 00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:02,831 between now and CES in January, unless you fuck up too badly. 473 00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:05,107 All right, hit it hard, boys. 474 00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:08,905 This guy fucks. 475 00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:11,422 You know, Russ, I've been known to fuck myself. 476 00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:19,180 Well, he's the worst man in America. 477 00:23:19,260 --> 00:23:20,830 And now he owns us. 478 00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:32,062 Why the fuck would he have us come all the way out here? 479 00:23:32,140 --> 00:23:33,551 I don't know. 480 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:37,871 Boys. 481 00:23:37,940 --> 00:23:38,941 Russ, what's up? Um... 482 00:23:40,140 --> 00:23:44,065 I know you had asked us to concentrate more on branding and less about the product, 483 00:23:44,140 --> 00:23:45,665 but we were thinking about that and... 484 00:23:45,740 --> 00:23:46,980 I got it. 485 00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:52,027 God? 486 00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,262 No. No, shitheads. Look! 487 00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:57,064 Oh. 488 00:23:57,180 --> 00:23:59,467 "I am Pied Piper"? 489 00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:00,541 Who is that? 490 00:24:01,260 --> 00:24:03,183 Yeah, how is she Pied Piper? 491 00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:05,581 - What is this? - Brand awareness. 492 00:24:05,660 --> 00:24:07,424 We're getting Pied Piper out there. 493 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:08,706 Right. 494 00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:13,424 But what exactly is the product? I mean, what's... What's this selling? 495 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:15,264 Pied Piper, idiot. 496 00:24:15,340 --> 00:24:17,422 - I like it. - Uh-huh. 497 00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:21,869 Yeah, here's the new check I promised you. This one you can cash. 498 00:24:21,940 --> 00:24:24,864 Obviously, I had to subtract the cost of the ad agency that nailed that slogan. 499 00:24:24,940 --> 00:24:27,546 The photo, legal, lay-out, plus the cost of the 15 billboards. 500 00:24:27,620 --> 00:24:29,384 Don't worry, I gave you guys a sweet deal on them. 501 00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:30,905 - Gave us? - Yeah. 502 00:24:30,980 --> 00:24:33,381 Hanneman Outdoor Media. I own the billboards. 503 00:24:33,460 --> 00:24:36,669 That's how I talked the ad agency into giving you guys that slogan for only 30 grand. 504 00:24:36,740 --> 00:24:38,902 Synergy, bitches. Know what that means? 505 00:24:38,980 --> 00:24:42,746 Does it mean taking a stack of cash and lighting it on fire? 506 00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:47,790 Crazy fuck! I love this guy. 507 00:24:48,540 --> 00:24:51,066 You fucking guy! Oh, and get this. 508 00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:52,904 I found out where Gavin Belson lives 509 00:24:52,980 --> 00:24:56,985 and I placed 15 of these babies between his house and his office. 510 00:24:57,060 --> 00:25:00,303 And guess where I placed the biggest one of all? 511 00:25:00,940 --> 00:25:03,227 This is the most hostile and aggressive act 512 00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:05,951 of provocation I've ever had to endure. 513 00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:08,867 It crosses every line of decency. 514 00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:12,220 This is war. 515 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,064 You better have something good for me. 516 00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:18,030 We believe we have a way to win this case. 517 00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:21,502 What if there were an individual here at Hooli 518 00:25:22,540 --> 00:25:25,464 with whom Hendricks had had a lot of contact? 519 00:25:25,540 --> 00:25:30,421 What if this individual were, arguably, a member of the original Pied Piper team? 520 00:25:32,980 --> 00:25:34,823 What if we took steps 521 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:40,304 to present this individual in a light such that his talents were undeniable? 522 00:25:44,340 --> 00:25:46,661 Surely an individual this brilliant 523 00:25:46,740 --> 00:25:49,744 would move quickly up the ladder here at Hooli. 524 00:25:49,820 --> 00:25:53,541 Surely he'd be promoted rapidly and repeatedly, no? 525 00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:58,705 And surely these impressive promotions would lead a court to agree 526 00:25:58,780 --> 00:26:03,149 that someone this brilliant, who was there at the inception of Pied Piper, 527 00:26:03,220 --> 00:26:07,191 must be integral to, if not solely responsible for its creation. 528 00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:08,671 It's all right. You can come in. 529 00:26:11,060 --> 00:26:12,107 Hmm. 530 00:26:12,180 --> 00:26:16,230 So you're saying the more praise and promotion we heap on this person, 531 00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:20,225 the more it looks like Pied Piper was created here at Hooli. 532 00:26:28,740 --> 00:26:29,821 Big Head! 533 00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:32,187 Sorry. Sorry, guys. Hooli phone? 534 00:26:32,260 --> 00:26:34,103 I didn't even know the ringer was on. 535 00:26:34,540 --> 00:26:36,349 No one's ever actually called it before. 536 00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:38,741 Hello? 537 00:26:43,460 --> 00:26:45,303 Nothing. Why?