1 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:08,326 Hello? 2 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,208 Can anyone hear me? 3 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,127 This is unbelievable. 4 00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:20,211 There are 7,000 people watching this stream, and it's working flawlessly. 5 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,881 Rebuffering events are below 0.5%. 6 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,440 Even when his sobbing shakes the camera, 7 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,681 there's no blocking at all. 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,125 I mean, the quality is great. 9 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,247 Why? 10 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,283 More good news. There's a storm coming. 11 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,408 There's no way the EMS guys can get up there. 12 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:35,209 This could go on all day. 13 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,248 Appreciate your cooperation here, gentlemen. 14 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,365 We'll see you this afternoon. 15 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,371 Richard, I'm sorry about that. 16 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,164 Oh, no, it's fine. 17 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,008 The lead counsel of the company that's suing us 18 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,605 just marched their engineer through the house 19 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,162 to make sure the platform they want to seize is ready for them. 20 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:57,681 Felt great. 21 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,770 It's like they assume they've already won. 22 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,163 Is there any chance they haven't? 23 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,844 God damn it, Richard! 24 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,641 In addition to stealing two of my four-packs of Fage yogurt, 25 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,007 your ship-jumping coder cunts 26 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,368 happened to walk off with the rest of our toilet paper, so that... 27 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:14,441 Hmm. 28 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,925 Speaking of shit that can't be wiped away and flushed, 29 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,724 how are you, Mr. Mohanahan? 30 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,006 Morning, Mr. Bachman. 31 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,724 I don't suppose you have anything to say to me 32 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,165 by way of an apology? 33 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,922 - For? - For the embarrassing ordeal 34 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,243 that you put me through yesterday in front of over nine people. 35 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,723 I think you should be the one apologizing, Mr. Bachman. 36 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,247 You lost your composure and ruined our entire case. 37 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,169 I'll see you gentlemen at 3:00. 38 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,288 I shan't be attending, out of contempt, 39 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,442 so this will have to serve as our goodbye. 40 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,770 Don't let the door hit ya where God split ya. 41 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,126 - I'm sorry. - No. 42 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,607 - Richard, I'll see you there? - Yeah. 43 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:55,966 Uh, Pete? 44 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,490 Do we have any chance of winning this? 45 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:04,689 When you hired me, I told you I would never lie to you, Richard. 46 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,770 Yeah, that's true. You did. 47 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,605 I'll see you at 3:00. 48 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,242 - Oh, hello, neighbor. - Neighbor. 49 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,611 Not for long. Louise helped me sell my house. 50 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,089 The ferret laws are much more enlightened in Arizona. 51 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,924 Arizona, huh? 52 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,161 You'll be dead in a month. 53 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,329 We'll miss you. 54 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,447 This your home? 55 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:45,521 Indeed it is. 56 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:48,610 Are you interested in selling? It's a great time. 57 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,251 Not interested. There are people in there who depend on me, 58 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,608 human people, not weasel animals. 59 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:55,886 It's a ferret. 60 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,166 - Weasels. - Ferrets! 61 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,607 Corner lot, good square footage, 62 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,002 I could probably get you a lot more than I got Noah. 63 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,043 How much did you get him? 64 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,761 Wait. You're selling the house just like that? 65 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,764 It wasn't a rash decision. I agonized over it. 66 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,521 - But what about your incubator? - What about it, Jared? 67 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,329 Pied Piper has caked its pants, 68 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,007 Jian Yang's chances of investment have literally gone up in smoke, 69 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,481 and you heard what Monahan said in court yesterday. 70 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,565 Market forces and random events have conspired against me 71 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:29,002 to make the success of my incubator all but impossible. 72 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:33,642 Functionally, all I've really achieved is running a flop house where guys have shat, 73 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,041 jerked off and paid me no rent. 74 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,686 MAN". Why won't anyone come get me? 75 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,808 Well, we have accomplished one other thing. 76 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,769 We're up over 20,000 viewers. 77 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,569 Holy shit. Really? 78 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,245 Yeah, Buzzfeed linked to us. 79 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,970 Now we're picking up on Reddit. 80 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,010 This guy falling off a cliff is the first good luck we've had. 81 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,406 And right as we're gaining traction, 82 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,324 we have to hand it all over to Gavin fucking Belson. 83 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,209 This is fucked. 84 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,482 We can't give it to him 85 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,164 if we don't have it to give. 86 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,481 What do you mean? 87 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,040 We do have it to give, and we have to give it. 88 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:11,251 100% of what he's trying to take from us exists digitally on servers in this house. 89 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,403 If we nuke them, there's nothing for him to seize. 90 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,961 As far as he knows, it's an accident. 91 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,405 No one would believe that. 92 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:23,930 Two weeks ago, we accidentally erased one-third of Intersite's entire library. 93 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,607 I think we've established our ineptitude beyond a reasonable doubt. 94 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,530 Fuck it. 95 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,011 I say we delete everything. 96 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,441 No.No.No.No. 97 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,806 Guys, that's not what we do. We don't destroy things. 98 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,644 Not on purpose, anyway. 99 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,371 Right? Isn't that the whole reason why you got into this in the first place, 100 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,283 to build cool shit? 101 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,729 I mean, look at that livestream. It's fucking perfect. 102 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,888 And even if Hooli ends up owning it, 103 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,725 we built it, with no resources 104 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,202 and a fucking stream of endless obstacles. 105 00:04:57,280 --> 00:05:00,011 I don't know, I mean, I kind of want to see how big it can get, 106 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,402 right up until the point where Gavin Belson has to fucking take it from us. 107 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,246 Guys, who is Manny Pa-qui-oh? 108 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,722 Pacquiao? He's one of the most famous people on the planet Earth. 109 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,406 Oh! Manny Pacquiao, the Filipino legislator. 110 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:14,841 No, boxer. 111 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,241 Okay, well, he just tweeted a link to our livestream. 112 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,448 And he has almost two million followers. 113 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,366 Oh, fuck. 114 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:23,761 Oh, fuck. 115 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,121 We got to scale up if we're going to handle that kind of traffic. 116 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,406 I'm gonna compress the manifests. 117 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,244 I'll kill the highest bitrate to give us more headroom. 118 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,251 I've always wanted to be part of a suicide pact. 119 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,163 - What? - That's not what we're doing. 120 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,771 Hey, Gilfoyle, we're up to 50,000 views. 121 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,605 Whoa. It is, like, 500 degrees in here. 122 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,087 Yeah. Anton is really starting to sweat. 123 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,766 Yeah, I still can't believe you gave the servers a man's name. 124 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,207 Sorry, I couldn't remember your mother's name. 125 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,248 Hey, why don't I just open up the garage door? 126 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,526 Let some fresh air in here. 127 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,206 Yeah, sure, if you want the cooling system to shut down 128 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,770 and everything in here to turn to magma. 129 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,844 Actually, with all the new servers I have running, 130 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,691 we're about to max out the amperage and blow the main breaker anyway. 131 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,082 Sooner or later, Gilfoyle's servers are gonna fail, and then it's all done. 132 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,328 My servers can handle 10 times the traffic 133 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,131 if they weren't busy apologizing for your shit codebase. 134 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,885 Oh, yeah? Well, my codebase could handle this traffic, 135 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,803 fuck your mother, make a video of it, upload it, 136 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,121 - and even that video would not rebuffer. - Hey, Pete. 137 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,205 Hey, I just heard from the judge. He's gonna call us in an hour early. 138 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:25,044 Early? What does that mean? 139 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,647 Well, it's either a very good or a very bad sign. 140 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,361 Well, actually, it's almost always bad. 141 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,409 I take it back. It's a bad thing. 142 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,561 Why don't you head over, I'll see you when you get there, okay? 143 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,606 Hey. Guys, I gotta go. 144 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,047 It's time. 145 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,088 Try to keep it online as long as you can, okay? 146 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,401 Why? 147 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,643 - The picture quality is remarkable. - Mmm-hmm. 148 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:58,563 And this is all hosted at a data center they built themselves in their garage. 149 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,244 - Please help me. - That's right. 150 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,328 - Very impressive. - Please someone help me! 151 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,847 It's already becoming a meme in the Philippines. Look. 152 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,809 Why won't anyone come help me? 153 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,689 Can anyone hear me? 154 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:14,761 Hello? 155 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,287 And Filipinos find this amusing? 156 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:18,691 - Can anyone hear me? - Apparently. 157 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,683 Please help me. 158 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:25,204 I've lost all feeling below the waist. 159 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,567 - Why? - They are a fascinating people. 160 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,641 How are the numbers? 161 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,088 Unless people start getting bored and tuning out, we're gonna hit our capacity. 162 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,730 Fuck. 163 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,529 MAN". I'm so dehydrated. 164 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,246 I'm gonna have to urinate into my water bottle. 165 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,721 Uh, this guy's gonna drink his own piss? 166 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,565 That's too good. We're gonna fail by succeeding. 167 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,928 Jared, I need you to plug those servers in now. 168 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,126 Aye-aye, captain. 169 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,851 What a shit-circus. Good riddance. 170 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,600 - You're never gonna sell. - What? 171 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,603 I mean, look what's happening here. It's magical. 172 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,761 The only thing magical 173 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,208 is how much this house has appreciated in the last three years, Jared. 174 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,247 I'm selling. 175 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,891 I mean, that's just money. It has no real value. 176 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,527 It literally defines value. 177 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,204 Look at this check. All right? 178 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,806 You can't actually cash it, but think about what it represents. 179 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,450 It's priceless. 180 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,171 Jared, I saw your entire HR file. 181 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,685 It was in the Hooli disclosure. 182 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,728 You had a fat salary and stock options. 183 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,167 By now, you would be a senior VP. 184 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,687 But instead, you walked away to wrangle extension cords 185 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:29,003 for a company that will be defunct in maybe 30 hours. 186 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,882 If you're not kicking yourself, even just a little bit, 187 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,610 you are objectively insane. 188 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:38,287 I can always find another job, but look at us doing this. 189 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,045 It's intoxicating. Don't act like it's not magical. 190 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,161 It is. 191 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,521 What the fuck is that? 192 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:46,600 Jesus Christ! 193 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,606 What the fucking fuck? 194 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:50,487 Hey, guys. 195 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,131 On the day that I'm showing the place? Are you serious? 196 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,964 I had to shorten up the cable run, so... 197 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,088 This is the shortest distance to the garage. Had to do it. 198 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:00,886 It's magical. 199 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,281 Huh. 200 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,808 So, start with the wide end. 201 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,561 Oh, Richard. 202 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,609 Here, let me help you with that. 203 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:26,846 - May I? - Uh... 204 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,009 - Relax. - Okay. 205 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,684 Just gonna tie your tie. 206 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,765 All right. 207 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,806 I feel terrible it's come to this, Richard. 208 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,291 But who knows? 209 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,330 Sometimes things like this are for the best. 210 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,687 I know this one is for me. 211 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,524 If you hadn't blackmailed me into this arbitration, 212 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,126 I was gonna have to go in front of the Hooli Board of Directors 213 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,444 and ask for $250 million to buy you out. 214 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:00,210 Wow. $250 million? 215 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,327 Believe it or not, 216 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,563 your algorithm is the only way to make Nucleus work. 217 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,450 I was ready to pay whatever it took. 218 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,681 Let me ask you this. 219 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,206 If I offered you 10 million for Pied Piper right now, 220 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,682 before we even go in there, would you take it? 221 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,046 Really? You'd do that? 222 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,010 No, of course not. 223 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,321 I'm about to get it for free. I'm just fucking with you. 224 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:26,247 I'm sure you'll come up with plenty more once-in-a-lifetime ideas, Richard. 225 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,641 Or not. 226 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,887 There you go. 227 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:32,721 Mmm-hmm. 228 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,610 Good luck in there, Richard. 229 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,404 Gilfoyle, what are you doing? 230 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,970 Jamming the breakers so they don't trip. 231 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,082 That's not a huge fucking fire hazard? 232 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,811 Yeah, of course it is. This whole shit box could go up at any second. 233 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,211 No, no. No. No fires in here. 234 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,567 I already had that conversation with Jian Yang, I think. 235 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,642 Two hundred thousand views. Fuck! 236 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,803 Gilfoyle, we need to build the caching mechanisms now! 237 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,723 It's the only way the clusters will scale. 238 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:03,961 Okay, sounds good. Do it. 239 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,407 I can't do it on my own, Gilfoyle! 240 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,290 Hey, Erlich, I need another coder here! None of these guys can help me. 241 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,567 Sorry, amigo. I don't code anymore. 242 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,563 Remember? Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 243 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,007 Well, then we're fucked. This thing is gonna crash any second. 244 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,281 Mr. Bachman, 245 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,687 - I am sorry to drop in on you like this... - Erlich, Seriously! 246 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,046 - ... but I have got the buyers here. - Shit! 247 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,610 He's gonna drink his own piss! 248 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,525 - Gilfoyle, I need some fucking help! - Sorry, Louise, 249 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,809 - this isn't a great time. I'm entertaining... - I told you already, I'm busy! 250 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,884 and I have some minor cosmetic repairs to do before I show the house. 251 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,843 Oh, no, they don't even need to look inside. 252 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,167 They only want the property for the lot value. 253 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,891 - Seriously, I can't do this by myself! - Lot value? Meaning? 254 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,409 You have to realize your house is a total teardown, right? 255 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,645 They want to tear this place down? 256 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,808 Gilfoyle, the caching mechanisms! We're gonna crash! 257 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,689 I told you, get Erlich to do it. 258 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:49,966 Richard said keep it online! 259 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,804 - Uh, Mr. Bachman. - I can't do this by myself! 260 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,486 They want to make an offer right now, all cash. 261 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,769 Mr. Bachman, I think you would be foolish to turn this down. 262 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,006 Did you just call me a fool? 263 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,048 - No. All I meant was... - Madam, 264 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,329 you do not call a man a fool on the transom of his own home. 265 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,404 A home that happens to be the world headquarters of a company 266 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,689 keeping streaming video of a man who's about to drink his own urine 267 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,331 online for tens of thousands of Filipinos. 268 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,687 Does that sound like foolishness to you? 269 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,526 So, you can tell your clients, respectfully, that they may go fuck themselves. 270 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,846 All right, I'm gonna start compiling varnish to cache the manifest. 271 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,003 Dinesh, you reduce the seeds in the P2P swarm, got it? 272 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,206 Let's fucking do this. 273 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,731 I knew you wouldn't sell. 274 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,646 Jared, respectfully, shut the fuck up. I'm working. 275 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,567 MAN". I don't wanna drink my pee. 276 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,520 What's that smell? 277 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,161 which I weighed in making my final decision. 278 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,727 A decision I do not take lightly. 279 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,606 Now, in concerning... 280 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,770 Mr. Hendricks, are you on your phone? 281 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:11,961 No. 282 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,803 It says, "Aim at the base of the fire." That's the servers. 283 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,167 If you hit those servers, you kill our livestream, Jared. 284 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,685 All right. I don't know what to do! 285 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:26,049 - Maybe we should do verbal SWOT analysis? - 298,000! 299,000! 286 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,491 Our check is burning! 287 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,562 He's drinking his own urine. He's drinking his piss. 288 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,244 We're up over 300,000 viewers! 289 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,210 Hello? I'm down here! Hello? 290 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,566 Wait, who the fuck is that guy? 291 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,722 Wait, wait. They're rescuing him. 292 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,610 Why did it take you so long? 293 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,250 Wait. He shut it off. 294 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,051 290, 270... Everyone's leaving. 295 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,451 It's over. 296 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:50,601 Holy shit. 297 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,724 - We did it. - We fucking did it. 298 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,689 We stayed online till the end. 299 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,726 Fuck, yeah. 300 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,005 Oh! 301 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,764 I wonder if Richard got to see that. 302 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,971 which is why I had no recourse 303 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:15,125 but to rule that, since Mr. Hendricks, by his own admission, 304 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:19,285 used Hooli equipment to facilitate the development of Pied Piper, 305 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,769 then pursuant to California Labor Code, 306 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:28,051 Hooli has a right to ownership of Pied Piper's underlying IP. 307 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,803 Congrats. 308 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,564 - Congratulations. - Well done. 309 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,009 - Very well done. - Congratulations. 310 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,242 You did a very good job, very impressive. 311 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,290 Richard, I'm sorry. 312 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,725 I really am. 313 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,723 We're now at 78 viewers, which still seems high. 314 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,768 Like, who's watching a blank screen? 315 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,490 We never went down, gents. 316 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:56,686 Anton really carried us. 317 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,649 Oh, one, still a weird name, 318 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,371 and two, this was a win for our software stack. 319 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,205 Your software can choke on my fat fucking balls. 320 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,566 Guys. 321 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,644 Richard just texted me. 322 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:09,721 He says delete it. 323 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,651 - What? - He says, 324 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,207 "We just lost. It's my company. Delete it all. Now." 325 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,890 Motherfucker. 326 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,450 Now, Pied Piper, you conceded on all of these minor counts. 327 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:28,491 Accordingly, on the count of wrongful solicitation, 328 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,963 I find Richard Hendricks did indeed breach his contract with Hooli 329 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:37,409 when he hired away a Hooli employee, one Donald Dunn, 330 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:41,724 AKA Jared, AKA O.J., apparently. 331 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,690 But this is where things get interesting. 332 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,686 Mr. Belson, there is language in this contract 333 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,287 that the California Supreme Court has deemed unlawful. 334 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,764 Preventing Mr. Dunn from seeking employment elsewhere 335 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,923 is a violation of his rights. 336 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,570 Are you aware of this? 337 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,089 I was not, but I'm willing to drop that count altogether 338 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,321 if it makes things easier. 339 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,723 Well, here's the thing. 340 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,122 This clause was unlawful 341 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:16,728 when you included it in Mr. Hendricks' employment agreement. 342 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,610 Right. As I said, I'm willing to just move past this. 343 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,081 See, again, I don't think you understand. 344 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,243 If Mr. Hendricks hadn't hired Mr. Dunn, 345 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,927 or you hadn't pursued him for that hire, 346 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,765 I'm not sure I would've noticed the violation. 347 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,360 But you did, so I did. 348 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:35,761 What's happening? 349 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,205 Justice, baby. 350 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,362 And what I find is, 351 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,250 this is an unenforceable contract. 352 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,049 It is null and void. 353 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:49,604 So, effectively, Mr. Hendricks never had a valid employment agreement with Hooli. 354 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:55,847 As a result, Hooli has no claim to ownership of Pied Piper's underlying IP. 355 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,968 That is my ruling. 356 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:04,041 And per your arbitration agreement, it is binding and final. 357 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,884 Thank you, everyone. 358 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:15,129 What the fuck just happened? We lost? You gotta be fucking kidding me! 359 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,124 We won. We won, right? I mean, Pied Piper is ours? 360 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,247 Richard, not long ago, 361 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,971 emergency workers pulled me out of the flaming wreckage 362 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,042 - of my Mercury Grand Marquis. - All right. 363 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,650 Today, you pulled me out of the flaming wreckage of my life, 364 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,370 and those flames burn far hotter. 365 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,726 - Sure. - For that, I thank you. 366 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:35,801 Yeah, you're welcome. 367 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,406 I used to take a tampon, soak it in grain alcohol, 368 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,403 and stick it up into my rectum. 369 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,845 That got me high, Richard, 370 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,730 but not half as high as the drug you just gave me. 371 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,165 You know what that drug's called? 372 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,041 No. 373 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,446 A second chance. 374 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,648 Right on. Uh... 375 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,290 Well, thank you. You did great. 376 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,080 Great job. 377 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,370 Wow! I mean, I totally thought we were gonna lose that. 378 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,249 I actually told the guys to... 379 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:04,805 Oh, my God. 380 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,884 All right, I just wrote a mod of DBAN. 381 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,806 As soon as we run it, it will delete the entire code repository. 382 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,770 Pied Piper will literally vanish. 383 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,445 Wait, what? What? 384 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,369 No. No, no, no. Fuck! 385 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:22,761 Ah... 386 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,204 Are we sure we have to do this? 387 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,850 You read the text, Jared. 388 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,685 If anything had changed, Richard would have called by now. Right? 389 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,250 Shit, no! God damn it. 390 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:44,647 So all you have to do is press that button, and the entire platform's obliterated. 391 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,451 And no one will ever be able to recover it. 392 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,040 Yep, one click and poof. 393 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:54,648 "The power to destroy a thing is the absolute control over it." 394 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,641 Frank Herbert, Dune. 395 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,847 All right then. Here we go. 396 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,162 Three, two, one... 397 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,401 Wait, wait. 398 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,370 Shouldn't we drink one last toast to Pied Piper 399 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,647 before we burn it to the fucking ground? 400 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,724 All right. As long as God isn't involved and there's beer. 401 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,370 Okay. Okay. 402 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,489 But if we're claiming this happened before the ruling, 403 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,846 we should do it quickly. 404 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,401 Damn. Hey, I need to use your phone. 405 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,130 Sorry, I can only allow that for customers. 406 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,202 I'm just gonna use it. 407 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:29,327 Oh, shit. 408 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,004 I don't know any of their numbers. They're all on my phone. 409 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:35,885 God damn it! Fuck! 410 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,931 I need to use your phone to email my friend so he doesn't delete Pied Piper. 411 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,161 Please. 412 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,205 Bus? Okay. 413 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,566 To Pied Piper. 414 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,601 Wait, is this a wheat beer? 415 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,364 I can't drink this without a lemon. 416 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,124 Noah's got a lemon tree. 417 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,770 Fuck him over one last time? 418 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,842 Okay, but then we're... 419 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,530 - Then we're gonna do it. - Yeah. 420 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,329 Thank you so much for letting me use your phone. 421 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,962 Just one email and I'm done, I swear. 422 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,123 As long as you don't shit, piss, or puke on my bus, it's all good. 423 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,720 Okay. 424 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,725 I hope it's not weird that the email's coming from your account. 425 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,726 I did not know lemon trees had thorns. 426 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,165 Wait. 427 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,402 This one has like a bruise on it. 428 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:25,881 Hmm. 429 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,323 No response. Nothing. 430 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,931 Fuck. 431 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,531 Hey, thanks. 432 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,171 Don't get that shitty one. Get that nice one up there. 433 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,323 Yeah, I think the ferrets have nibbled some of the lower ones. 434 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,328 Okay, there's no way I could have squirted this lemon 435 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,323 in your eye on purpose from this distance. 436 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,050 I'm not a fucking lemon sniper. 437 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,771 You'd be more of a lemon suicide bomber. 438 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,683 - Guys. Guys! - It's Richard. 439 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,762 Why is he knocking? He has my keys. 440 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,251 We need to delete it before he comes in. 441 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,401 Let me in! 442 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,164 Richard. Richard. 443 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,891 Don't delete it. 444 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,765 Did you delete it? 445 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,441 Oops. 446 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,888 Oops? What does that mean, "Oops"? 447 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,529 You said "delete." 448 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,601 Fuck. 449 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,047 Oh, wait. 450 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,366 - Hold on. - What? 451 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,680 Gilfoyle, what's happening? What? 452 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,051 That's weird. Kernel panic. The whole system just crashed. 453 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,124 So, what does that mean? Did you delete Pied Piper or not? 454 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,768 - NOpe_" 455 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,410 We definitely did not. 456 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,244 All thanks to Dinesh's garbage code. 457 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,802 The software you wrote to delete our software just shit the bed. 458 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,769 - No surprise. - No, my software's fine. 459 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,251 It's 'cause it's running on your shit hardware. 460 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,324 My hardware handled everything else just fine... 461 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,209 - It caught fucking fire! - ... until your shit software 462 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,725 spread like a virus and killed it. 463 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,926 - Restart it! Restart it! - I will restart it. 464 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,844 No, no, no, don't restart it. Don't restart it. 465 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,161 We won. 466 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,890 - We won? - We won? 467 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,925 Yeah, we beat Gavin Belson, and we won. 468 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,081 Holy shit. 469 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,041 We won. 470 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,243 What the fuck happened here? 471 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:12,401 Magic. 472 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,209 Gilfoyle's shit hardware caught fire. 473 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,567 No, 'cause your shit software was slowing it down. 474 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,608 And then Erlich coded and it gave me chills. 475 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,523 Gilfoyle made a hole in the wall. 476 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,601 - Look! - I did. 477 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:22,841 It was frightening. 478 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,928 Did you hear he just lost the Pied Piper suit? 479 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,049 That's nothing. They're saying half of all Hooli employment agreements 480 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,322 may be legally invalid. 481 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,368 You don't think the board will get rid of him, do you? 482 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,851 Maybe. 483 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,729 - Two, please. - Sure, coming right up. 484 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:44,930 I'm hearing a lot of chatter about that Nelson Bighetti guy over at XYZ. 485 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,923 I mean, three promotions in a year? 486 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,810 President of Hooli Cancer and AIDS societies? 487 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,530 That doesn't just happen. 488 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,849 He must be smart as hell. 489 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,201 Gavin, come in. 490 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,091 Motherfuck. 491 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,441 Wait, what? 492 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,525 I am rarely wrong about these things. 493 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,883 You have an aura about you. 494 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:28,286 An aura that if carefully managed by someone with the necessary spiritual expertise, 495 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,561 could be harnessed to great effect. 496 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,640 Okay. 497 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:37,401 Monica. 498 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,961 Russ, what are you doing here? 499 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,806 Question. What's got two thumbs and three commas? 500 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,127 This guy. 501 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,767 - What? - Yeah. 502 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,002 Like, 10 minutes after boy genius won his lawsuit, 503 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,320 your boss lady gave me a call. 504 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:53,845 We just did a deal. 505 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,446 She put me back over a 506 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,608 - it means a billion. - Yeah, I got it. 507 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,440 I got a lot of cars, you know, 508 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,761 if you want to go for a drive some time. 509 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,441 Got my own. 510 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,371 Does it go like this? 511 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,163 Does it go like this? No? 512 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,125 Think about it. 513 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:19,651 Laurie. 514 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,769 I just ran into Russ Hanneman leaving. 515 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,810 He said you made him some kind of, uh, a deal. 516 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,006 Yes. 517 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,562 He was substantially difficult, truly repugnant. 518 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,770 And when we finalized our agreement, he described his erection to me. 519 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:36,560 But in the end, 520 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,042 I managed to buy 100% of his interest in Pied Piper. 521 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,003 Let us never speak of him again. 522 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,283 Well, that is fine by me, 523 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,162 and I'm so glad that you got him away from Pied Piper. 524 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,409 I mean, now that their suit has been resolved, 525 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,848 I think that they're about to become something really special. 526 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:59,250 Their core technology, it's visionary. 527 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,321 Absolutely. 528 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,246 Also, the entirety of their recent stumbles 529 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,322 with Homicide, with Intersite, 530 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:12,601 with the very decision to pursue video instead of more pioneering applications, 531 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,490 this was all rooted in human error, 532 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,565 which is why I found it prudent to secure Hanneman's shares, 533 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:23,123 his voting rights, and, most critically, his board seats. 534 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,927 Right. Russ has two board seats. 535 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,326 He did. 536 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,168 Now, Hendricks votes one, 537 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,602 Bachman votes one, 538 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,331 and we, at Raviga, 539 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:37,890 we vote three. 540 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,245 That is a majority. 541 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,724 We can now take the necessary steps 542 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,326 to ensure that Pied Piper is properly managed. 543 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,603 What are you saying? 544 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,246 I don't understand. 545 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,609 Monica, I believe you do. 546 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,650 Always blue! Always blue! 547 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,451 Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! 548 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,205 That was a long one. 549 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,486 It's not the first time I've heard that. 550 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,450 Monica, what's up? When are you getting here? 551 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,526 The party has already started, and it's getting pretty crazy. 552 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,125 I have yet to smoke weed. 553 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:22,840 - What's wrong? - This is the best day of my life. 554 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,922 - Um, okay. - And yet, no girls. 555 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,331 There's nothing to it, it's just luck. 556 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,925 Okay, well, then do it. 557 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,161 Beat my 43. 558 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,163 - Beat my 43. - I'd like to smoke weed. 559 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,720 That's the difference between you and me, you smoke weed all day, 560 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,006 I learn a valuable skill. 561 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,128 Richard, are you okay? 562 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:38,806 Yeah, who died? 563 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:41,881 Um... 564 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,200 What just happened? 565 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,487 Well, apparently, 566 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:51,283 Raviga held an emergency meeting of Pied Piper's Board of Directors. 567 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:52,561 Oh, no. 568 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:58,568 And they voted to remove me as CEO of my own company. 569 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,083 I just got fired. 570 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,249 And what about me?