1 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:10,491 Here it is. 2 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,645 This is your future. 3 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,447 One of your Pied Piper boxes would go right here in this rack. 4 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:22,726 okay- 5 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:24,960 Okay. 6 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,321 Let me show you the next location in which we would install one of your boxes. 7 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,243 Richard, what the fuck are we doing here? 8 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,129 I don't like it any more than you do. 9 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,204 I told Jack we'd come check this place out and then we'd have a discussion. 10 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,204 I can't believe you suggested the idea of building a fucking appliance. 11 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,327 I didn't, okay? 12 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,570 I pitched it as an example of what not to do and the fucking sales guys ran with it. 13 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:50,880 I didn't want to go to enterprise. 14 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,166 You were the ones who said it would be fine. 15 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,044 - No, we didn't say that. - You said it all the time. 16 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,610 That's not what we said. That is not... 17 00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:00,366 Here it is. This is where another one of your Pied Piper boxes would go. 18 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:05,881 Okay. Good. 19 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,925 Okay. Let me show you the next location in which we would install... 20 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,445 Actually, you know what? 21 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,525 Sorry. No offense, but once you see one space in a rack, 22 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,165 you've kind of seen them all. 23 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,928 That's what I used to think until I saw them all. 24 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,247 Would you like to see your desks? 25 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,810 - Our desks? - What? 26 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,442 This is where we would install a Pied Piper engineer. 27 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,926 Sorry. Why, exactly, would we need to be here? 28 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:40,287 Your sales representative promised 24-hour-a-day, on-site maintenance, 29 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,930 at least for the first year. 30 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:47,287 So, one of us would have to be down here for a year? 31 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:48,846 Even at night? 32 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,529 There's really no difference between day and night down here, 33 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,882 so it makes things easy. 34 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,442 Okay, well, we should probably get going. Now. 35 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,204 - Almost right now. - Yeah, right now even. 36 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:06,081 Okay. Uh, there are 16 stairwells. 37 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,850 Which one would you like to see first? 38 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,202 Uh, just whatever's as fast as possible. 39 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,560 Your favorite one. 40 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:13,721 Hmm. 41 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,561 Okay. 42 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,081 Oh! 43 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,648 You see these fucking mole people? 44 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:29,926 Hey, where did John go? 45 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,602 Oh, shit. Did he go in a room? 46 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,082 No. Uh, probably around here. 47 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,445 Hey. John? 48 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,929 - John? - Oh, uh... John? 49 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,843 - John! - Oh, shit. 50 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:45,287 John! 51 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,731 - Where is he? - John! 52 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,211 John! 53 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,686 We can't take my algorithm and put it in a box and bury it at Maleant. 54 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,127 - We just can't. - I think this thing is dead. 55 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,849 Jack, look, I have no doubt 56 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,201 that your guys can sell a box 57 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,568 and an appliance may be a good short-term play, 58 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,166 but in the long term, we need to be building 59 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,969 - our full-time platform. - Gloria! 60 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,045 Could you call the fish guy and see what kind of warranty 61 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,249 we have on these things? I think one of them is dead. 62 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,765 Jack, please. 63 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,161 You said that when we got back from Maleant, we would discuss this. 64 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,004 Okay, let's discuss it. 65 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,607 Take a look at the Conjoined Triangles of Success. 66 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,490 Now, what do those two triangles make together? 67 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,405 - A square? - A box. They make a box. 68 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,723 - You can't make that shit up. - But you literally did make it up. 69 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,084 Yes, I did. And now they teach it at business schools. 70 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,562 But I was only referring to the serendipity of the coincidence. 71 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,211 Look, if we build you the box, 72 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,807 will you promise to let us build the platform when it's done? 73 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,760 We'll think about then then. 74 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,842 Now we need to worry about now. 75 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,049 Build me a box now. 76 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,081 How'd it go? 77 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,525 Uh, not well. 78 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,806 All right, then. 79 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,129 What do you... What do you mean? What are you doing? 80 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,323 Well, first, I'm changing my Linkedln status 81 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,611 to "Looking for work." 82 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,484 That box is artless commerce. I won't be a party to it. 83 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,449 So, you're just gonna quit? 84 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,409 Just like that? How can you do that? 85 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:40,840 By saying the words "I" and "quit" in conjunction together, I.e., "I quit." 86 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,127 Well, there's actually some paperwork involved. 87 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,168 Hey, can I have that USB missile launcher? 88 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,003 I'll just fish it out of the trash later. 89 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,606 Gilfoyle, come on. 90 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,207 Give me some time to figure a way out of this, 'cause if you quit now, 91 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,891 you're gonna lose all your shares. 92 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,407 And what if Barker changes his mind and lets us build the platform? 93 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,806 And the odds of that are? 94 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,649 Already? Recruiters move fast these days. 95 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,886 This is Gilfoyle. Dazzle me. 96 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,009 More recruiter swag? 97 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,606 You got an Oculus? 98 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,489 - Yup. - That's a hoverboard? 99 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,250 How many meetings are you taking? 100 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,289 None. That's the irony. 101 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,569 The more meetings I turn down, the more these recruiters send me. 102 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,521 - What are you doing? - Eating popcorn. 103 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,171 - That's my popcorn. - You have seven tubs of it. 104 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,083 You could be the mayor of Popcornopolis. 105 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,171 Don't eat the caramel. You can have the cheese or the plain. 106 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,931 - You're leaving me with the cheddar? - That's right. Dick. 107 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,044 Hey, can I borrow this? Just for a little bit? 108 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,128 No. Whoa, whoa, hold on. 109 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,525 You're wearing a gold chain? 110 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,689 Oh, right. Yeah, I've had it for a while. 111 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,205 Just kind of throw it on every now and then. 112 00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,651 None of that is true. 113 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,202 - I definitely would've noticed. - Okay, listen. 114 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,681 I've been working hard. I'm making money for the first time. 115 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,327 I was like... Buy myself something nice, you know? 116 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,929 But instead of that, you bought a chain? 117 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,801 You're just jealous I have a salary, quitter. 118 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,965 And you are too legit to quit, eh, MC Hamas? 119 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,766 - Fuck off. - Later, Chain the Virgin. 120 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,041 Well, Gilfoyle, looks like your recruiters 121 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,407 are gonna have to take back their gift baskets, 122 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,482 because I just got off the phone with Monica 123 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,608 and she's getting me in to see Laurie this morning 124 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,126 so I can tell her what's going on. 125 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,208 But you're going over your CEO's head? 126 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,089 That is a serious breach of protocol. 127 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,128 I mean, if Jack finds out, he'll be furious. 128 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,804 Hey, when you push a man so far, 129 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,321 he goes out and buys a gun and shoots everyone in a bank. 130 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:45,567 Whoa. 131 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,881 No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. I'm not... I'm not going to. 132 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,407 Just... The point is, what other option do I have, anyway? 133 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,688 What other option do you have, Richard? 134 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,524 Can I speak with you alone, please? 135 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:57,967 Hmm? 136 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,808 Are you angry with me, Richard? 137 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,609 Have I done something to offend you? 138 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,843 No. What are you talking about? 139 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,288 You know, when you and the boys picked up and went to the new offices, 140 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,850 and didn't invite me along, 141 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,440 - I didn't say anything. - Yeah, because you don't work at Pied Piper. 142 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,888 And you haven't let me forget that for even one moment, have you, Richard? 143 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,684 I'm having trouble tracking this. 144 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,569 I don't know what you're mad about. 145 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,371 You publicly proclaimed, "I have to go over Barker's head 146 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,125 "because what other option do I have?" 147 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,922 What other option do you have, Richard? 148 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,451 - Uh... - 'Cause there is another option, 149 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,568 and he's standing here, looking you in the face, 150 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,529 and you're staring back like he don't even exist. 151 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,327 Just to be as clear as I possibly can be here, 152 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,922 are you trying to tell me that you want to talk to Barker? 153 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,731 No, Richard, I don't want to talk to Barker. 154 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,404 - I want you to want me to talk to Barker. - You know, 155 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,645 at this point, if it'll make you feel better, sure, you can go talk to Barker. 156 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,647 See? Was that so hard? 157 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,722 Actually, yes, that was painfully difficult. 158 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,563 Yeah, she's definitely dead. 159 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,968 I'm sorry for your loss. Gloria! 160 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,527 Gloria! 161 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,731 Would you, uh, take this daughter of Neptune back from whence she came? 162 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,207 The toilet, dear. That's okay. 163 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,686 What can I do for you, Mr. Bachman? 164 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,444 Ah, yes, to the matter at hand. 165 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,441 I spoke with Richard about the box project, 166 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,808 and, well, here are some of my thoughts in no particular order. 167 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:40,521 - Why a box? - What information do I not already have? 168 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:41,921 I'm sorry? 169 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,691 I said, "What information do I not already have?" 170 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:49,529 I already have a five-year run rate plus a full market forecast for my appliance. 171 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,807 I have the same for Richard's platform. 172 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,770 I've heard all of his engineering team's complaints. 173 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,683 So, before you waste time 174 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,969 with some freeform jazz odyssey of masturbatory bullshit, 175 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:03,960 just tell me what concrete information you have for me 176 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,447 that I do not already possess! 177 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,766 Richard. 178 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,603 The way I see it, you've got about two options. 179 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,488 One, you build yourself the box. 180 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:24,651 Two, you get Laurie Bream on the phone ASAP. 181 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,523 All right, I'll see you back at the house. 182 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,324 Uh, okay. 183 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,604 Uh, Hiroki-san. 184 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,048 Um, what is that one? 185 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,811 It is a question mark made of human hair, 186 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,645 harvested, apparently, from dead people in India. 187 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:54,529 It's a pun. It signifies that at Raviga, we ask the big, hairy questions. 188 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,007 Right. Speaking of questions, 189 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,930 what should we do about Jack? 190 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,650 Well, I concur with your assessment 191 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,803 that a backup appliance for data centers seems 192 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,247 an uninspired application of your technology. 193 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:10,006 I will contact him and we'll have a frank discussion about this. 194 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,084 Great. I really appreciate you hearing me out on this. 195 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,523 And it goes without saying, I was never here. 196 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,001 Oh. 197 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,561 What? 198 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,291 You are here. Now. 199 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,171 What Richard means is he would prefer 200 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,722 if you didn't tell Jack that he came here to talk to you about this. 201 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:34,089 Yes, because the other interpretation makes no sense. 202 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,569 Jack, Laurie Bream on line one. 203 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,889 Guys. Guys, it's happening. It's happening. 204 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,086 Hello. 205 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,891 Okay. Drop the hammer, Laurie Bream. 206 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,888 What are you doing? He's going to see you looking. 207 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,724 I can't see 'cause of these fucking monitors. 208 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,968 - Whose fucking fault is that, okay? - It's not my fucking fault. 209 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,371 Something's happening. 210 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,126 What? 211 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,448 What's happening? What's happening? 212 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,170 Oh, man. Barker's pissed. 213 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,685 How pissed? Scale of one to 10. 214 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,723 - Like, a seven. - Fuck. 215 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,167 No,no,no,no, no. Like, a nine, nine and a half. 216 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,765 Fuck! I'm missing everything. 217 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:12,921 I'm going to go to the kitchen. 218 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,161 He doesn't know. I could be hungry. 219 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,401 It's over. It's over. 220 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,128 I missed the whole fucking thing because of these fucking monitors. 221 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,289 Richard? Jack would like to see you in his office. 222 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,006 Oh, okay. 223 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,051 If you'll excuse me, gentlemen, 224 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,567 I'm gonna go ask Action Jack how Laurie's dick tastes. 225 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,731 - Don't... No. - Yeah. 226 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:37,730 You wanted to see me, chief? 227 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,202 Sure, come on in, Richard. Grab a seat. 228 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,801 Sure. 229 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:44,561 Oh. 230 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,605 Yeah. Okay. 231 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,889 So, guess who I just got off the phone with. 232 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,084 Uh. I have no idea. Who? 233 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,770 - Laurie Bream. - Laurie Bream. From Raviga? 234 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,728 Exactly. She was pretty adamant 235 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:05,168 that the whole box project here at Pied Piper was 236 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,964 woefully misguided. 237 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,771 Whoa, strong words. Wow. 238 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:15,004 In fact, it was her opinion that we should immediately abandon the box 239 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,482 in favor of the consumer platform version of Pied Piper 240 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,922 which I believe you and your guys were bucking for. 241 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,926 I don't know about "bucking," 242 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,287 but, yeah. Yeah, well, hey, look, 243 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,803 - Laurie Bream is the investor. - Yeah. 244 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,491 She is the investor. 245 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,202 Anyway, she wanted a comprehensive, go-to-market strategy 246 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,170 for the platform version within 48 hours. 247 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,045 Wow. Well, what Laurie wants, Laurie gets. 248 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:49,122 So, yeah. We should probably get started on that. 249 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,440 No, we shouldn't, Richard. 250 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,129 We're not building the platform. 251 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,565 We're building a box. 252 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,246 Okay, but... 253 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,130 Didn't Laurie say that she wanted the platform? 254 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,124 Yes, she said that, and then I said 255 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,886 that if Pied Piper was going to build a platform, 256 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,530 she would have to fire me. 257 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,330 What did she say? 258 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:15,450 She said she was not interested in doing that at this time. 259 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,124 And did she say anything after that? 260 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,804 We're building the box, Richard. 261 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,965 Twelve weeks from today, we're going to present her a prototype of that box. 262 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,649 So, let's get it done. 263 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,686 Okay. 264 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:33,447 Yup. 265 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,204 One more thing, Richard. 266 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,684 If you're going to shoot the king, 267 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,562 you better be goddamn sure you kill him. 268 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,930 You understand what that means? 269 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,485 Yeah-a r. 270 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,922 Did you just say "Yar"? 271 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:57,601 No. 272 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,727 Look at us. Two rogues on the King's Highway. 273 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,688 Let the rats run in their maze. 274 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,240 We chose this. This is our destiny. 275 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,930 Freedom. Isn't that right, Gilfoyle? 276 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,687 - Did you say something? - Of course. 277 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,886 If it's more popcorn, tell them we're at capacity. 278 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,883 It's a guy from Men in Black. 279 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,050 - Bertram Gilfoyle? - Yeah. 280 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,690 I'm here on behalf of Twen-X recruiting, 281 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,809 - I'm supposed to give you this. - Pappy Van Winkle. 282 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,609 Now we're talking. I'll take it. 283 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,441 They told me not to give it to you until after the meeting. 284 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,644 I respect your skills. 285 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,131 Let me get my jacket. 286 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,048 She was supposed to talk Barker out of making the box. 287 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,246 What the fuck happened? 288 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,765 - Richard. - What? 289 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,690 I was on the call, okay? She tried, he said no. 290 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,604 - Well, then she should fire him. - She can't fire him. 291 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,091 Why not? She fired me. 292 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,084 Exactly. She can't fire him because she fired you. 293 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,329 Firing a young CEO and installing a much more experienced one 294 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,561 looks like leadership. 295 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,530 Firing two CEOs in a month looks like chaos. 296 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,686 Richard, look, I'm sorry, but I think the box is here to stay. 297 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,611 Okay? Laurie's gonna have to pretend to be in favor of it. 298 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,444 She'll probably issue press releases 299 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:25,411 talking about how it's the best application of your visionary technology. 300 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,206 Is there nothing that we can say to Laurie to change her mind? 301 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,125 If I could control Laurie, 302 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:34,370 do you really think I'd be looking out my office door at that monstrosity? 303 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,128 Jeez, Monica, he's not that bad. 304 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,123 I mean, he's a little ugly, I guess. 305 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,168 Oh, the question mark. Sorry. 306 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,846 Mr. Gilfoyle. We're ready for you. 307 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,728 The guys cannot wait to see you again. 308 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,201 Again? 309 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,844 - Gilfoyle. - What the fuck? 310 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,241 Good to see you again, buddy. Why don't you have a seat? 311 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,765 You stole half of our algorithm. 312 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,525 You think you can bring me in here and pay me to give you the rest? 313 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,566 No. We want you because you're a full-stack engineer. 314 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,331 We already paid someone else for the missing piece of Middle-Out. 315 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,643 - Bullshit. - Do you know Naveen and Eric, 316 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,405 who, until very recently, headed up engineering at Nucleus? 317 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,561 - Hey, man. - What's up? 318 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,402 - Nope. - Well, I'm sure you at least recognize 319 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,970 the code they brought us. 320 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,651 That's exactly how they had it. 321 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:37,086 Okay. So, EndFrame has our entire prediction loop, 322 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,282 down to the last fucking semicolon. 323 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:43,524 So, Nucleus stole half our IP, and EndFrame stole the other half. 324 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,324 And now they've knitted them together. 325 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,240 So, while we are busy building Barker's box, 326 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,567 EndFrame is beating us to market with a platform. 327 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,441 So, basically, we are a fucking mediocre appliance company. 328 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,285 At least we'll make a little money doing it. 329 00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,001 Oh, great. 330 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,521 So, you can go back to the car wash and buy some more chains, 331 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,603 huh, Pakistani Mr. T? 332 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,206 Fuck you. 333 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,807 Wait. Are you not wearing it? 334 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,644 You're not. Did you take it off because I was fucking with you? 335 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,691 - No. It was itchy on my neck, so... - Bullshit. 336 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,326 That was a bad decision. 337 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,643 You flinched. Now the pain will never end. 338 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,606 I'm sorry to say it, but Gilfoyle's right. 339 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,331 You're making it worse. Sorry, Django. 340 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,330 Django? 341 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,527 Unchained. 342 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,491 Great. Now even fucking Jared is busting my balls. 343 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,923 I am. I'm... I'm busting your balls. 344 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,243 You know what? If you're gonna give me shit for it anyway, I'm just going to wear it. 345 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,322 Okay, Jared. Congratulations, by the way, 346 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,324 but we have our own balls to worry about, all right? 347 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,369 Uh, look, how are we going to save the platform? 348 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,843 What choice do we have? Barker is the CEO. 349 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,684 We have to do what he says. 350 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,161 Or do we? 351 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,482 I don't know. I don't want to lie down for this, okay? 352 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,483 I don't want to just give up so easily. 353 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:04,441 Richard, unfortunately, in this case, I think we have to roll over and take it. 354 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,801 Or do we? 355 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,324 - Erlich, you have something to say? - Richard, 356 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,322 when George Washington founded a little startup 357 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,882 we've come to know as these United States of America, 358 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,851 and he was tired of getting shit from his CEO, the King of England, 359 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,282 did he just roll over and take it from behind? 360 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:29,490 No. He called on his ride-or-die homeboys, 361 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,367 Tommy Jefferson, Benny Franklin, 362 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,251 and Alex Hamilton, who was half-black, so that's Dinesh. 363 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:36,761 I'm not half-black. 364 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,730 He said, "Avast, ye fellow badasses, 365 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,370 "let's build this country the way we motherfucking want to." 366 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,008 And so, Richard, if we want to build the platform, 367 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,526 all we need to do is 368 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,126 build the platform. 369 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,210 That was underwhelming. 370 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,846 Perhaps you can go into slightly more detail? 371 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,844 We tell Barker exactly what he wants to hear. 372 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,844 That way, he thinks we're being good little boys. 373 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,969 But what we're actually doing 374 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,889 is building the platform. Think about it. 375 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,645 What's he gonna do? 376 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,560 - Call the cops. - Actually, no. 377 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,090 Uh, Erlich may be onto something. 378 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,288 If all we gave him was the platform, 379 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,482 Jack would have no other option 380 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,484 than to embrace it and then say it was his idea all along, 381 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,530 because at that point, he can't tell Laurie the truth. 382 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,841 What? That he had absolutely no idea 383 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,048 what was going on inside of his own company? 384 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,690 He'd look like an idiot. 385 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,446 And Laurie wants the platform, anyway, 386 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,770 so she'd be good for it. 387 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:43,726 Okay. 388 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,484 We build a skunkworks. 389 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,366 A secret company inside the company. 390 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,364 We go all Ocean's Eleven on his ass. 391 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,010 Hold on. Ocean's Eleven? 392 00:19:56,200 --> 00:20:00,000 It's a 2001 casino heist film, starring Julia Roberts and 11 men. 393 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,844 I know what it is, Jared. 394 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,049 I'm saying, not only are we going to have to engineer, 395 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,885 code, and stand up a full platform on our own, 396 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,883 we also have to make Jack and his sales weasels think 397 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,962 we're working on the box the entire time. 398 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,720 And if we fuck anything up and get caught, 399 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,850 he could take our stock and probably have us arrested. 400 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,322 - All right, I'm in. - Well, you're insane. 401 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,484 No, Dinesh, that chain is insane. 402 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,686 And not in the membrane. 403 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,683 Sorry, Cypress Halal. 404 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,365 Okay, Jared, settle down. 405 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,528 But this? This is fucking genius. 406 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,968 Okay, how do we even begin to pull it off? 407 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,083 Okay. Well, let's work through it. 408 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,641 I can generate fake status reports, purchase orders, deliverables updates, 409 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:44,606 and I can liaise with sales to coordinate what custom features we need to pretend to build. 410 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,801 Okay, great, yeah, 411 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,928 but faking the box is going to be the easy part. 412 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,287 Building the platform is the real challenge. 413 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,169 Gilfoyle, where are we on the server space? 414 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,685 That's gonna be tricky. 415 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,003 When we started moving out of the house, I dismantled Anton. 416 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,807 All the racks, GPUs, and cables are in storage at the office. 417 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,605 - We're gonna have to break him out. - That's a shit-ton of hardware. 418 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,570 Unless we do it one piece at a time, 419 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,849 like Shawshank Redemption or The Great Escape, you know? 420 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,763 I'd have bigger clothing on the day, but... 421 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,205 - Wait. - Wait. 422 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:14,766 I've got a better idea. 423 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,722 Let's say these LEGOs are Anton, 424 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,600 sad stacks of server components lying dormant in storage. 425 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,371 Sneaking all of him out would be too difficult. 426 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,923 So, if we can't break Anton out, maybe we can break in. 427 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,281 Stand the servers up right where they are. 428 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:32,725 - Can we do that? - Easy. 429 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,731 I can run cable through the drop panel in the ceiling 430 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,081 all the way to the building's main power panel. 431 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,645 When I pull a little bit of power 432 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,961 from each of the other tenants, no one will know. 433 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,486 Guys, I hate to keep shitting on your campfire, 434 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,244 but servers are not the real issue. 435 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,522 We have a manpower problem. 436 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,968 There's a ton of engineering to be done on the platform. 437 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,243 Yeah, he's right, but we have to pay them under the table. 438 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,721 I know just the right man for the job. 439 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,924 You guys are fucking nuts, but I dig it. 440 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,086 Here's the deal. I'm going to need the back pay you guys owe me 441 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,400 for when I was working for free, 442 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,403 not to mention lost wages from my old job. 443 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,251 Oh, and damages from when Jared sexually harassed me 444 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,810 into being friends with that Monica chick. 445 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:16,647 So, all that and you're in? 446 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,129 In? No. 447 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,204 That's just to keep me from telling Barker about your secret project. 448 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,724 What? Are you serious? 449 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,040 Oh, yeah. 450 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,931 Well, there goes most of our cash. 451 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,401 We just got extorted for $20,000. 452 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,528 Fuck Carla. She was dead weight, anyway. 453 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,046 - What's next? - I just thought of something. 454 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,646 It's a big problem, but I think I've got a solution. 455 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,607 Hello, this is Bertram Gilfoyle. 456 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,491 Yes, I'm still available, 457 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,769 and I would reconsider sitting down with you and your clients 458 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:53,402 if you send four large pizzas to 5230 Newell Road 459 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,005 in 30 minutes or less. 460 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,206 Okay. I think that covers it. 461 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,521 We've thought of everything. We have a plan. 462 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:33,845 - Everybody in? - In. 463 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,805 - In. - Fuck yes, I'm in. 464 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,362 And I'm into the idea of taking a bigger leadership role in the company. 465 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,925 We're not gonna make the same mistakes... 466 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,764 Okay, Erlich, just... Just say, "In." 467 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,491 - We're all just saying, "In." - I'm in-volved. 468 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,528 Hey, you can't spell "involved" without an "in." 469 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,170 Just be in. Uh, Dinesh? 470 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,761 All right, fuck it, I'm in. But on one condition. 471 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,205 I'm going to need everyone to solemnly swear 472 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,886 that they will no longer make fun of my gold chain. 473 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,284 Not a word ever again. 474 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,727 Well, guys, I think we can agree to that. 475 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,925 This plan better fucking work with a sacrifice like this. 476 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,971 Shall we drink from the teat of Pappy to celebrate? 477 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,721 I think I might actually enjoy going to work now. 478 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:21,566 Wait. 479 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,683 We can't enjoy going to work. 480 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,564 Meinertzhagen's Haversack. 481 00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,647 - What? - Meinertzhagen's Haversack. 482 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,686 No one? Really? 483 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,969 No one's heard of Meinertzhagen's Haversack? 484 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,123 Of course I have, Jared. Just explain it to them. 485 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,602 Well, it's a principle of military deception. 486 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,241 Essentially, it means you have to continue to act the part. 487 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:48,246 So, as far as anyone knows, we're still building a box that we hate. 488 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,887 - We need to act like it. - That's exactly right. 489 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,570 If we do anything differently, Barker's going to be onto us. 490 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,842 We have to keep complaining about Barker. 491 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,968 We have to keep bitching about the box. 492 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,805 We have to keep making fun of your gold chain. 493 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,641 We have to. We don't have any other choice, Dinesh. 494 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,724 - He's right. - It's a shame, Bell Biv Dinesh, 495 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,725 but unfortunately, that chain is poison. 496 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,048 All right. To skunkworks! 497 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:18,488 Hey, all right. I don't usually drink at 7:30 in the morning, but... 498 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,601 All right. 499 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:29,046 Hey, guys, um, look, we have to shred everything in this house 500 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,130 that pertains to skunkworks. If anyone catches wind 501 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,766 of anything that we've done here, we are fucked. 502 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,723 Okay, you guys, this is it. 503 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,290 No turning back now. 504 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,691 Dinesh, I have a few premium chain insults 505 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,286 that I'm going to lay on you when we get in there. 506 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,411 Not for myself, obviously, but for the team. 507 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,960 I might just have one, too. Sorry in advance. 508 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,326 Yeah. Great. 509 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,524 Have at it, assholes. 510 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,406 Hey, Dinesh, nice chain. 511 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,966 Do you choke your mother with it when you put your penis in her butthole? 512 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,929 What the fuck? Oh, shit! 513 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,286 - Whoa, Richard. - Here, I've got it. 514 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,410 No, no, no, that's private. Excuse me. 515 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,207 - Skunkworks? - Private information. 516 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:46,570 Uh, Keith, where are you going? 517 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,689 Richard, why did you bring all the skunkwork docs into the office? 518 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,763 You were supposed to shred those. 519 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,450 Yes, but I was gonna shred them here, 520 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,682 because we don't have a shredder at the house, do we? 521 00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:58,927 Guys? 522 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,050 My office. Now.