1 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,974 Quite a plan you boys cooked up here. 2 00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:14,335 Quite a plan. 3 00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:17,901 I'm not sure what upsets me more, 4 00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:23,774 that I have four employees that conspired to commit felony fraud, 5 00:00:23,850 --> 00:00:26,694 or that I have four employees that are so stupid 6 00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:29,250 I found out about it within 30 seconds. 7 00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:32,780 Hearing it out loud, the first one seems worse. 8 00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:37,491 We got sales, manufacturing, design, assembly, 9 00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:39,738 logistics teams, they're all ready to go. 10 00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:44,452 All of them on the payroll, all of them here to build me a box. 11 00:00:44,930 --> 00:00:50,221 I have a deal, in principle, with Maleant to buy the box. 12 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:53,812 The second that we deliver a product that meets those specs, 13 00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:55,619 we are cashing checks! 14 00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:59,860 And you are the only four people in this building that are fighting me on it! 15 00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:03,696 So give me one reason why I don't fire you right now, 16 00:01:03,770 --> 00:01:07,900 claw back your options, make you unhireable all over town. 17 00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:10,814 One goddamn reason! 18 00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:18,931 Because you can't. 19 00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:20,776 Excuse me? 20 00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:23,820 This agreement says that you have 10 weeks 21 00:01:23,890 --> 00:01:26,814 to complete a working prototype before the deal expires. 22 00:01:27,290 --> 00:01:29,736 So how are you gonna do that if you fire us? 23 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:35,051 There are maybe eight engineers on Earth proficient in middle-out compression. 24 00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:37,576 Five of them work for EndFrame, your competition, 25 00:01:37,650 --> 00:01:40,130 and three of them are here in this office right now. 26 00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:43,771 So if we're gone, I don't think you're ever going to get your box. 27 00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:46,571 What do you want? 28 00:01:46,650 --> 00:01:49,051 I want to build my platform. Now. 29 00:01:49,970 --> 00:01:52,860 To complete the box project, it's going to take six months at least. 30 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,334 So, what I think maybe we should do is 31 00:01:57,210 --> 00:02:01,056 take a little tip from your chart there and we compromise. 32 00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:06,857 Compromise is the shared hypotenuse of the conjoined triangles of success. 33 00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:08,251 Mmm-hmm. Yep. 34 00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:10,901 So, uh, what I'm proposing 35 00:02:11,850 --> 00:02:14,774 is we stand up the prototype, that's it. 36 00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:19,651 We're not doing any custom features, no new versions, no maintenance, nothing. 37 00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:22,816 Richard, the Maleant basement. 38 00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:24,221 And no onsite support. 39 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:27,737 I think you can hire other engineers to do that fucking mole monkey work. 40 00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:33,654 The second we write code that satisfies the basic minimum requirement of the deal, 41 00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:36,859 we are off the box and on to the platform. 42 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,218 And that is my final offer. 43 00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:42,819 So, what do you say to that... 44 00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:44,891 - Whoa! - Ow! 45 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:46,495 - Richie! - Oh, my God! 46 00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:48,140 Hey, hey. You okay? 47 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,577 - You were standing and then what happened? - Okay, I'm okay. 48 00:02:50,650 --> 00:02:52,493 - It's just a little shocking. - Oh. 49 00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:54,971 What were you saying? Did you... Do we have a deal or... 50 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,054 Yeah, Richard, we have a deal. You have a bloody nose. 51 00:02:58,130 --> 00:03:00,258 That was pretty badass, Richard. 52 00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:01,570 Until it wasn't. 53 00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:16,459 Uh, this is not even a room. 54 00:03:16,650 --> 00:03:18,493 This is a hallway. 55 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:24,251 Uh, it can't be because that is a bed, thus, this is a bedroom. 56 00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:28,497 Two entrances and exits, cross drafts ahoy. 57 00:03:28,890 --> 00:03:32,975 And it is the safest room in the event, unlikely, of a fire. 58 00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:35,938 Ah. Oopsies. Don't mind me. 59 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:37,739 Ah, Fred, this is Jared. 60 00:03:37,810 --> 00:03:40,541 He actually is, uh, a temporary resident. 61 00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:43,693 While I have you, there were fresh droppings near my cot. 62 00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:44,771 I think you were right. 63 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,535 The Havahart traps don't seem to be working. 64 00:03:47,610 --> 00:03:51,695 I was thinking maybe we could just pick a day and just drench it in hawk urine, 65 00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:54,694 because the scent of a predator can keep rodents at bay. 66 00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:58,092 It's funny, we're named Pied Piper, but we're beset with rats. 67 00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:00,095 Little rascals. 68 00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:05,930 Fuck this. 69 00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:11,380 I've been writing quick, bullshit subpar code for 48 hours, and I want to kill myself. 70 00:04:12,130 --> 00:04:14,292 How do you do it every day, Dinesh? 71 00:04:14,410 --> 00:04:15,571 What a coincidence. 72 00:04:15,650 --> 00:04:18,415 I've also been writing bullshit code for 48 hours, 73 00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:20,538 and want you to kill yourself. 74 00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:24,251 Guys, please. Let's just shit this thing out so we can get on to building the platform. 75 00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:25,851 Hi. 76 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:28,815 - Hi. - Dang. 77 00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:31,454 - What? - I'm Dang. 78 00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:32,811 I'm dang? 79 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:34,331 Dang. 80 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,210 What... 81 00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:37,337 My name is Dang. 82 00:04:37,450 --> 00:04:40,101 Oh, my... I'm sorry. What can I do for you? 83 00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:43,140 I'm heading the design team that's building the enclosure for the box. 84 00:04:43,210 --> 00:04:45,258 It's time for the concept meeting. 85 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:47,180 "Concept meeting?" 86 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,254 Okay. I'm just going to show you a few pictures, 87 00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:53,332 and you tell me which ones you like, okay? 88 00:04:53,450 --> 00:04:54,690 Okay. Sure. 89 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,652 Look... Wait, hold on. 90 00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:11,051 I thought you were going to show me pictures of boxes. 91 00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:12,734 Like data storage devices. 92 00:05:12,810 --> 00:05:13,857 Before I can actualize a box, 93 00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:16,940 you and I need to develop a shared aesthetic vocabulary. 94 00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:19,012 Otherwise, I have no idea what you're going to want. 95 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:22,217 I have a lot of work to do right now. 96 00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:24,816 This is work. This is my work. 97 00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:27,291 What we're doing here could actually save time. 98 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,701 Okay. Sure. Yeah... 99 00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:30,818 Look, let's just make this simple. 100 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:33,655 If the box were an animal, what sort of animal would it be? 101 00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:35,456 Leopard? 102 00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:38,132 Butterfly? Rhinoceros? 103 00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:40,019 Stop. Animal? 104 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,660 It's a box. Right? 105 00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:46,338 Okay, so if you need an animal, make it a box turtle. How does that sound? 106 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,331 So this is all kind of a joke to you? 107 00:05:49,410 --> 00:05:53,495 You know what? I don't actually give a flying fuck what this box looks like, okay? 108 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:56,016 If it was up to me, I wouldn't even have it in the first place. 109 00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,171 So, look, here. 110 00:05:57,250 --> 00:06:01,096 This is a black rectangle. 111 00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:02,696 Make it that, all right? 112 00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:05,336 Because we're going to take it and put it in a hole 113 00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:07,856 in a sub-basement in a data center, where no one can see it 114 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:11,412 except for a sad man named John with a ponytail. Okay? 115 00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:14,016 Just make it a box. 116 00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:16,297 And please turn off that fucking music. 117 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:27,691 Hello! 118 00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:31,538 It appears there has been a mistake. 119 00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:34,295 Is this not my parking space? 120 00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:37,340 Sorry, a lot of premium spaces are being reassigned. 121 00:06:37,410 --> 00:06:40,778 14-A, you've been reassigned to lot D. 122 00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:43,371 Lot D? 123 00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:44,940 The structure? 124 00:06:46,850 --> 00:06:48,295 Beyond the freeway? 125 00:06:48,370 --> 00:06:51,180 Anywhere above level three, those are reserved. 126 00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:53,298 There's a shuttle stop on the ground level. 127 00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:54,817 A shuttle? 128 00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:05,701 Call Gavin Belson. Cell. 129 00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:14,137 Greetings, friend, 130 00:07:14,490 --> 00:07:17,255 I'm not available right now. Please leave a message after the beep. 131 00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:19,298 - I'll get back to you as soon as I can. 132 00:07:25,690 --> 00:07:27,135 What the fuck? Why isn't this working? 133 00:07:27,850 --> 00:07:31,411 Gilfoyle's preprocessor and my compressor should integrate seamlessly. 134 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:33,661 This should work. 135 00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:39,295 I may have made my preprocessor slightly faster than you asked me to, Richard. 136 00:07:39,730 --> 00:07:41,698 What do you mean? How much "slightly faster"? 137 00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:43,535 200 megs per second. 138 00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:44,736 You dick. 139 00:07:44,810 --> 00:07:47,017 That's eight times as fast as the specs required. 140 00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:49,252 No wonder our modules aren't running at the same speed. 141 00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:50,536 Why would you do that? 142 00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:54,411 I tried to make it slow. I really did. But I'm not Dinesh. 143 00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:57,258 It's very difficult for me to do shitty work. 144 00:07:57,530 --> 00:07:59,214 So, I added a differencing library 145 00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,861 and then the whole thing just took off like a rocket. 146 00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:05,738 Wait, so you're not processing whole files, just the changes? 147 00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:07,454 That's actually pretty cool. 148 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:08,691 Yeah, I thought so, too. 149 00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:10,175 That's why I wrote it. 150 00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:14,532 All right, well, I guess I should just revert back. 151 00:08:15,090 --> 00:08:16,455 Right? 152 00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:18,732 Slow my preprocessor way down. 153 00:08:19,610 --> 00:08:20,975 Although, Richard, 154 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:25,612 couldn't you just rewrite the compressor to make it faster so it's compatible? 155 00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:27,579 I mean, these are minimum speeds, right? 156 00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:32,974 Just 'cause making the box sucks doesn't mean we have to suck at making it. 157 00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:37,616 Yeah. Okay. Um, here's one idea. Uh... 158 00:08:38,170 --> 00:08:41,572 What if we actually move upstream and connect the parser... 159 00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:44,540 Directly to the compressor seed functions. 160 00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:47,655 Okay. 161 00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,414 Well, then, the whole thing would really fly. 162 00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:52,414 - Yeah. - That would rock. 163 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,571 Hey, Richard, do you have a sec? 164 00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,454 I have a preliminary render for you. 165 00:08:59,610 --> 00:09:00,611 What is that? 166 00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:03,541 What do you mean? It's a box. 167 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:06,172 That's not our box, is it? 168 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:08,332 Yes. It's exactly what you asked me for. 169 00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:11,812 You drew a rectangle and said, "if it was an animal, it'd be a box turtle." 170 00:09:11,890 --> 00:09:14,860 I mean, are you just going to do the bare minimum and call it a day? 171 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,091 I mean, is that, like, what you do? 172 00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:18,611 You said it didn't matter, you said you didn't care. 173 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:20,818 No one's caring about this. I'm just saying, like, 174 00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:22,813 it's just a matter of pride and, like, self-respect. 175 00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,221 I mean, that's gonna go on brochures, man, 176 00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:27,214 that's like an advertisement to you and the company and everything. 177 00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:30,373 I can maybe add some color to it and give the bezel a little slam. 178 00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:32,452 There you go. Definitely, a slam. Slam it. 179 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:33,770 Yeah, maybe add some more lights. 180 00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:34,851 Sure. Yeah. 181 00:09:34,930 --> 00:09:37,092 Well, hey, what are you doing standing around here talking about it? 182 00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:39,172 You should go do it, you know? Go ahead and make the damn thing. 183 00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:42,652 Make it a jaguar 'cause I have a feeling this baby is going to purr. 184 00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:46,815 I don't care either, but, you know, I think maybe a gazelle is more like it. 185 00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,540 'Cause it's synonymous with speed. 186 00:09:48,610 --> 00:09:51,090 Fuck that. A cheetah's faster. 187 00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:52,581 And it kills fucking gazelles. 188 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:54,061 But I really don't fucking care. 189 00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:55,894 But definitely cheetah. 190 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,096 Or a gazelle. 191 00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:58,939 Also, don't throw away the whole jaguar thing, 192 00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:00,500 - yeah, 'cause they're pretty quick too. - Or a gazelle. 193 00:10:05,290 --> 00:10:07,133 Ah! Jared, Jesus fuck! What are you doing? 194 00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:08,735 Sorry. I was... 195 00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:11,495 I was just taking a quiet moment to collect myself. 196 00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:13,575 What the hell is all this shit? 197 00:10:13,650 --> 00:10:16,574 My tenant has been leaving my belongings in the alley behind my condo, 198 00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:18,340 to make more room for his tenants. 199 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,696 Your tenant has tenants? 200 00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:21,177 Yeah. 201 00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:23,252 He's Airbnbing my Airbnb. 202 00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:27,540 So, if it's okay with you, I might need to stay a little bit longer. 203 00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:30,773 Um, I can go around the back to get to the bathroom once Fred's here. 204 00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:31,851 When's he moving in? 205 00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:33,694 Wouldn't we all like to know. 206 00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,694 Fred, Erlich Bachman. 207 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,615 You said you'd get back to me about the room. 208 00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:43,500 I don't mean to pressure you, but I need you to decide now. 209 00:10:43,570 --> 00:10:45,618 In this moment, on this phone call. 210 00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:49,331 I am literally standing within feet of three potential candidates 211 00:10:49,410 --> 00:10:52,175 whose selves I could easily tell to go fuck... 212 00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:55,574 "Good"? What do you mean "good"? What does that mean, you're "good"? 213 00:10:56,570 --> 00:10:59,255 What? What other incubator? Where? 214 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,700 What is the address? 215 00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:04,496 Because I want to send them a fucking nice gift! 216 00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:18,813 Fucking Miami Vice. Disgusting architecture! 217 00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:26,531 Hey, man. What are you doing here? 218 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:28,180 What the fuck are you doing here? 219 00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:30,491 What do you mean? This is my house. Crazy, right? 220 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:33,777 This place is huge. 221 00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:37,381 Did you want to... 222 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,456 Yes, it would be polite for you to invite me into your home 223 00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:42,453 and offer me a Push Pop, yes. 224 00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:43,656 I'm sorry. 225 00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:47,018 You're telling me that we should spend less time together? 226 00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:48,740 Absolutely, Chela. 227 00:11:49,890 --> 00:11:52,211 Well, I have to say, this is a big relief. 228 00:11:52,890 --> 00:11:55,052 In all candor, I was feeling the same, 229 00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:59,340 but I thought that discussing it with you might be awkward. 230 00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:01,294 Not at all. 231 00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:06,776 You are ready, Chela, to stand on your own, to weather the challenges of the future. 232 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:11,096 And the rumors swirling about your leadership. 233 00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:14,376 Be well, Gavin. 234 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,612 I'm sorry. Wait, what... 235 00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:18,021 What rumors? 236 00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:20,855 There is talk that in the face of a growing threat 237 00:12:20,930 --> 00:12:24,651 from Richard Hendricks and Pied Piper, armed with a powerful new CEO, 238 00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:26,414 that you have done nothing. 239 00:12:27,090 --> 00:12:29,616 - Well, yes, but... - And that by shuttering Nucleus, 240 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:32,500 you have left them to gather strength unopposed, 241 00:12:32,570 --> 00:12:34,220 ceding the entire space. 242 00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:37,214 Some are saying this is a show of great weakness. 243 00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:39,936 Who? Who exactly is saying this? 244 00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:44,060 Well, people talk. 245 00:12:44,170 --> 00:12:47,299 In the halls, in the cafeteria, on the parking shuttle. 246 00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:50,135 Wait, should I be worried about this? 247 00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:57,178 The beauty is, now you have all the answers. 248 00:12:58,930 --> 00:12:59,977 Yes? 249 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,730 All right. 250 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:06,295 Denpok, please. 251 00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:09,658 Will you sit back down? 252 00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,175 I need your help. 253 00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:13,536 Of course. 254 00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:14,976 Thank you. 255 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,657 Clearly, we have come far, but we still have far to go. 256 00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:23,453 Not as far as lot D, 257 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,380 but far nonetheless. 258 00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:30,221 Look what you guys built. 259 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:31,496 You can't help but be elegant. 260 00:13:31,570 --> 00:13:33,618 You're like Audrey Hepburn. 261 00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:34,771 Here they come. 262 00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:37,012 Well, I know we made a big deal 263 00:13:37,090 --> 00:13:40,333 about just doing your absolute minimum of your specs, 264 00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:42,981 but one thing led to another and, well, Jack, 265 00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:46,133 buckle your seat belt because I'd like to introduce you to... 266 00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:48,212 Richard, just save it. 267 00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:52,371 Just got off the phone with Calvin Greene, CEO of Maleant. 268 00:13:52,730 --> 00:13:54,619 - They're pulling out. - What? 269 00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:55,976 How can they just pull out? 270 00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:57,131 Because they shopped our deal 271 00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:59,258 and got a better bid from another appliance maker, 272 00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:01,577 so Maleant's out, they fucked us. 273 00:14:01,730 --> 00:14:02,970 - Oh. - Yeah. 274 00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:06,852 So, probably we should just push pause on the whole box thing 275 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:10,298 until we figure out where to go from here. 276 00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:14,136 Okay. I... Actually, I have a question. 277 00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:17,180 Yeah, I know. I know. I know, Richard, we had an arrangement, 278 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,776 but that was all based on closing the Maleant deal. 279 00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:22,131 - So now we have to figure out... - No, no, no. Sorry. 280 00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:24,258 No, my question is, who did they go with? 281 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,810 Whose box do they think is that much better than ours? 282 00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:29,058 Oh, uh, Dectosphere. 283 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,256 Dectosphere? 284 00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:32,094 It's a brick with a power cord. 285 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,375 Yeah. But I hear their new 43-11 s, 286 00:14:35,490 --> 00:14:38,619 they're going to be hitting close to 75 megs per second. 287 00:14:38,930 --> 00:14:40,932 Uh, we can do 200. 288 00:14:43,930 --> 00:14:45,295 - What? - Yeah. 289 00:14:45,370 --> 00:14:47,850 Do you think you can get me in a room with Calvin Greene? 290 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:48,931 This is the pool. 291 00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:51,616 The first night I was here, I turned the heat, like, all the way up, 292 00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:53,692 and half the water evaporated overnight. 293 00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:54,817 It's crazy. 294 00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:55,937 Well, I hope you own a skimmer 295 00:14:56,050 --> 00:14:59,771 because there's a massive turd floating on the surface of your pool. 296 00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:02,851 Who, Fred? Fred's great, man. 297 00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:06,059 He's got this really cool, um, malware cataloging thing... 298 00:15:06,130 --> 00:15:07,211 Cut the shit, Big Head. 299 00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:08,894 I see exactly what you're doing. 300 00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:10,176 Poaching my tenants? 301 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,979 You stole my business model. 302 00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,299 What? No. Dude, it's not like that at all. 303 00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:17,055 It's just, this house has, like, nine bedrooms. 304 00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:18,780 You have any idea how scary that gets at night? 305 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:20,979 So I just wanted to have some roommates around, 306 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:23,257 but, you know, I felt weird charging them rent, 307 00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:25,213 - 'cause, you know. - No, I don't. 308 00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:28,812 Well, it's, like, 20 million, you know? So I don't really need it, 309 00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:32,417 but then they felt weird living here without paying me anything, 310 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,016 so they offered me pieces of their start-ups. That's all. 311 00:15:35,290 --> 00:15:38,772 You just admitted to starting a competing incubator. 312 00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:41,697 I've caught you in a web of your own lies, haven't I? 313 00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:44,731 I don't think so. Wait, have you? 314 00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:46,579 All right, Big Head. You want to play it that way? 315 00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:49,415 If it's a fight you want, then a fight you shall have. 316 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,730 All of you! 317 00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:54,535 See you, buddy. 318 00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:00,330 Big Head. 319 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,217 We'll see. 320 00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:14,581 Fuck! 321 00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:15,936 What are we doing here? 322 00:16:17,170 --> 00:16:18,899 Why are we fighting like this? 323 00:16:19,010 --> 00:16:22,014 I mean, I'm gonna steal your guys, you're gonna steal my guys. 324 00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:24,900 We'll both wield the heft of our considerable fortunes 325 00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:27,257 until each of us have nearly nothing left. 326 00:16:27,330 --> 00:16:29,571 Is that really what you want? Me either. 327 00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:32,333 So what do you say we join forces? 328 00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:33,821 I'm big enough. 329 00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:36,012 Are you, Big Head? 330 00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:38,051 Partners? 331 00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:40,891 Okay. 332 00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:42,211 Atta boy. 333 00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:44,577 All right, I'm going to take a spin on that fancy Japanese toilet, 334 00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:46,061 and then let's get to work 335 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:49,498 figuring out which one of these bedrooms is gonna be my office. 336 00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:53,699 Consider the bulldog. 337 00:16:54,050 --> 00:16:57,975 A grotesque monstrosity born of relentless inbreeding. 338 00:16:58,090 --> 00:17:01,572 Riddled with sinusitis, crippled by joint pain, 339 00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:04,371 chronically flatulent. 340 00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:09,256 A kindly pet, or humanity's cruelest mistake? 341 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,580 All right, take it away. 342 00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:18,138 Ladies and gentlemen, just like that horrible creature, 343 00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:21,578 the entire Nucleus program was the result of inbreeding. 344 00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:26,133 We mated Hooli engineers with Hooli designers in a Hooli kennel. 345 00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:30,420 Is it any wonder the result was just as unspeakable as that thing? 346 00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:32,096 Bring it back here! 347 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,491 Look at that hideous face. 348 00:17:36,050 --> 00:17:37,779 All right, get it out of here! 349 00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,372 I'm sorry, Gavin. What's your point? 350 00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:45,216 My point is, just as not all dogs are as flawed as the bulldog, 351 00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:48,976 not all compression plays are as flawed as Nucleus. 352 00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:52,532 Our execution was lacking, but the idea was correct. 353 00:17:52,610 --> 00:17:54,817 Our only mistake was looking inward. 354 00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:56,779 It is now time to look outward. 355 00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:04,860 I mean, this guy did all of the work. 356 00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:07,171 Ten minutes after we leave Calvin Greene's office, 357 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:10,140 he calls me up and says, "Hey, you got me. How much?" 358 00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:11,371 I just showed them the box, 359 00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:13,339 Jack's the one who made the deal. 360 00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:16,053 Good feelings, happy feelings. 361 00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:21,656 So, Big Head built a better version of your incubator, accidentally. 362 00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,061 Correct. 363 00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:24,620 And he didn't even realize it? 364 00:18:24,690 --> 00:18:26,101 Also correct. 365 00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:29,572 And your solution to that was to go into business with him? 366 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,697 Big Head? 367 00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:35,014 The guy you once called more useless than a bag of dicks without a handle? 368 00:18:35,090 --> 00:18:38,060 Dinesh, don't fall for his "aw, shucks" routine. 369 00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:40,053 He is a shrewd businessman. 370 00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:46,536 And together, we have over $20,036,000 at our disposal. 371 00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:51,141 Now, if you'll excuse me, on to Pied Piper. 372 00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:56,060 I have a board meeting, and this board ain't exactly gonna meet itself. 373 00:18:57,650 --> 00:19:01,336 Our subsequent order of business is the approval of Pied Piper's redraft 374 00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:05,381 of the hardware requisition agreement with Maleant Data Systems Solutions. 375 00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:06,736 Oh, yeah. 376 00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:08,380 The main event. 377 00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:12,296 We've all read the latest sales agreement, yes? 378 00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:14,338 Actually, I don't think I was CC'd on... 379 00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:16,538 So, I believe we can move straight forward to a vote? 380 00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:17,771 Actually, I'm sorry. 381 00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:21,059 I have an issue with, uh, section 14, paragraph two. 382 00:19:21,570 --> 00:19:26,417 Um, it states that Maleant has exclusive rights to purchase any appliance made by Pied Piper 383 00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:28,134 for the next five years. 384 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,497 Oh, uh, yeah. Jack gave them exclusive rights to the box 385 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,254 so that we would get a better price upfront. 386 00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:34,452 Right, but this language is far broader. 387 00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:38,376 They actually have exclusive rights to use the underlying algorithm in any form. 388 00:19:38,450 --> 00:19:39,861 Oh, no. That's not right at all. 389 00:19:40,050 --> 00:19:41,256 Yeah, so I think, Jack, 390 00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:44,095 we're going to have to go back to them and just change the language here. 391 00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:46,896 We're not going to be able to do that. 392 00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:52,138 And, uh, why not? 393 00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:56,454 Because that was the specific language which Maleant requested 394 00:19:56,530 --> 00:20:00,740 when I got them to pay three times as much for each one of our boxes. 395 00:20:00,810 --> 00:20:06,055 It's a white label deal, so they have the right to resell these boxes in any form they choose. 396 00:20:06,130 --> 00:20:09,179 Yeah, but, Jack, if they have exclusive rights to the algorithm, 397 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:12,094 then we can't use the algorithm to build the platform. 398 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:13,501 For five years. 399 00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:15,413 They wanted seven, I talked them down. 400 00:20:15,490 --> 00:20:16,730 I know, but you said that we could 401 00:20:16,810 --> 00:20:18,335 build the platform once we gave you the box. 402 00:20:18,810 --> 00:20:21,381 Yes, but I never specified a time frame. 403 00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:22,781 Are you serious? 404 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,691 I save your ass and you stab me in the back like this? 405 00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:26,737 In the front, Richard. 406 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,175 Laurie, did you know about this? 407 00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:31,092 - I did not. - Well, then, good, okay. 408 00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:33,980 So it won't go through because Laurie's not going to vote for it. 409 00:20:35,290 --> 00:20:38,897 Richard, this is complicated. 410 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:42,697 If one goes strictly by the numbers, these numbers, 411 00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:46,695 you have built a box that is so valuable, 412 00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:49,376 I am now obligated to vote in favor of it. 413 00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:51,339 Laurie, this deal is peanuts. 414 00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:55,571 The platform could be worth 1,000 times what the box is worth. 415 00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:58,415 It could be, correct, however... 416 00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:01,380 This is theoretical, Richard. 417 00:21:01,450 --> 00:21:03,100 You don't have a price point, I do, 418 00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:06,532 and she has a fiduciary obligation as a member of the board 419 00:21:06,610 --> 00:21:07,850 to vote for the box. 420 00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:11,252 On the page, this is in the best interest of the company. 421 00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:12,377 Am I wrong, Laurie? 422 00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:15,020 That is factually correct. 423 00:21:15,890 --> 00:21:19,019 You remember when you tried to end run me and kill the box? 424 00:21:19,090 --> 00:21:21,377 Well, she couldn't do a goddamn thing about it then. 425 00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:24,021 And she can't do a goddamn thing about it now. 426 00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:28,420 Simple majority ratifies the agreement, all in favor. 427 00:21:28,490 --> 00:21:31,334 Are you kidding me? What the fuck is going on right now? 428 00:21:32,530 --> 00:21:33,736 Laurie. 429 00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:36,290 I wasn't carbon copied on this particular email, 430 00:21:36,410 --> 00:21:37,616 so, I stand with Richard. 431 00:21:40,530 --> 00:21:41,531 Um... 432 00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:46,374 Richard, you know how I voted to fire you a couple months ago? 433 00:21:46,450 --> 00:21:48,418 And I said that I did it to stay in the game, 434 00:21:48,490 --> 00:21:51,858 so that maybe at some point in the future, I could do something to help? 435 00:21:52,930 --> 00:21:54,853 Well, Laurie, 436 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:58,170 I know you'll probably replace me on the board 437 00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:01,572 and call for a revote tomorrow, but I'm here today. 438 00:22:02,050 --> 00:22:05,611 And I don't have any metrics to back it up, 439 00:22:05,730 --> 00:22:09,212 but I honestly believe that the platform that Richard wants to build 440 00:22:09,290 --> 00:22:12,737 will be far more lucrative in the long term than any box. 441 00:22:13,050 --> 00:22:17,658 So, at least for today, I'm voting no. 442 00:22:19,090 --> 00:22:20,421 Motion denied. 443 00:22:26,370 --> 00:22:29,613 We will be reconvening tomorrow. 444 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:33,901 And if I could get a... An email, be CC'd on the latest draft... 445 00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:38,858 I couldn't sit there and watch them do that to you. 446 00:22:38,970 --> 00:22:41,177 I just hope I don't end up fired over this. 447 00:22:41,650 --> 00:22:44,017 Well, what you did took incredible guts. 448 00:22:44,370 --> 00:22:46,577 And the fact that it probably won't make any difference 449 00:22:46,650 --> 00:22:48,140 makes it all the more meaningful. 450 00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,174 Right, I saw this nature documentary 451 00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:55,175 where a bison fought a lion to protect the rest of the herd. 452 00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:56,934 And it was so moving. 453 00:22:57,170 --> 00:23:01,698 It didn't work, the lion tore into the bison and then laid waste to the herd, 454 00:23:01,770 --> 00:23:03,659 but what courage. 455 00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:06,740 Thank you, Jared. 456 00:23:06,810 --> 00:23:09,381 You guys just had to make a great box, didn't you? 457 00:23:09,450 --> 00:23:10,736 You couldn't phone it in. 458 00:23:12,330 --> 00:23:16,619 Uh, guys, Gavin Belson is calling me. Again. 459 00:23:16,930 --> 00:23:18,136 What the fuck does he want? 460 00:23:19,130 --> 00:23:20,131 Hello? 461 00:23:20,250 --> 00:23:23,891 Richard Hendricks, just checking in, seeing if you heard the news. 462 00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:25,531 What news? 463 00:23:25,890 --> 00:23:29,895 Hmm. Obviously, you don't have your Hooli news alerts up to date. 464 00:23:30,130 --> 00:23:31,700 Go to the site. I'll wait. 465 00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:35,934 Go to the Hooli news website. 466 00:23:36,010 --> 00:23:37,011 Okay. 467 00:23:40,770 --> 00:23:41,817 It's an ad. 468 00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:44,979 It's an ad. Hold on. 469 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,297 Just wait four seconds and you can click to skip it. 470 00:23:47,650 --> 00:23:49,812 Just wait four seconds and then you can click it. 471 00:23:49,890 --> 00:23:52,257 No, it's the kind where you have to watch the whole fucking thing. 472 00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:53,741 It's the whole ad kind. 473 00:23:53,810 --> 00:23:57,098 I thought we stopped doing those. God damn it. 474 00:23:57,170 --> 00:24:00,094 Well, regardless, what you'll see once the paid announcement is over 475 00:24:00,210 --> 00:24:04,738 is that I just closed a $250 million deal 476 00:24:04,850 --> 00:24:07,774 to acquire a little company called EndFrame. 477 00:24:07,850 --> 00:24:09,579 I thought you'd want to know. 478 00:24:09,650 --> 00:24:11,937 Update those Hooli news alerts. 479 00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:15,173 Also, I invite you to click "yes" if our ad experience was relevant to you. 480 00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:16,581 Be well, Richard. 481 00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:19,896 What did he say? 482 00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:21,936 Oh, my God. 483 00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:25,375 "Gavin Belson announces deal to acquire EndFrame, 484 00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:27,771 "a middle-out compression platform company, 485 00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:30,661 "for $250 million." 486 00:24:31,770 --> 00:24:36,537 Even after they shit the bed with Nucleus, Hooli gets to build our platform and we don't? 487 00:24:41,010 --> 00:24:42,296 What is funny about this? 488 00:24:42,370 --> 00:24:43,781 He's intoxicated. 489 00:24:43,850 --> 00:24:46,933 No. No... Yes, but don't you see? 490 00:24:47,370 --> 00:24:50,533 Gavin, in trying to fuck us, just saved our asses. 491 00:24:53,970 --> 00:24:55,381 He's right. He's right. 492 00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:59,017 My gosh. Oh, my gosh, he's right. 493 00:24:59,090 --> 00:25:00,455 Holy shit. 494 00:25:00,890 --> 00:25:02,574 I am so confused right now. 495 00:25:02,650 --> 00:25:03,651 Gavin set a... 496 00:25:05,890 --> 00:25:07,176 He set the... 497 00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:08,934 - The price point. - Yes! 498 00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:11,741 Yes, yes, yes. Yes, thanks to Gavin, 499 00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:14,495 EndFrame, a middle-out compression platform, 500 00:25:14,570 --> 00:25:17,141 is objectively worth $250 million. 501 00:25:17,210 --> 00:25:18,336 Wait, okay. 502 00:25:19,130 --> 00:25:22,452 We are a middle-out compression platform company. 503 00:25:22,530 --> 00:25:24,931 Are we worth $250 million? 504 00:25:25,010 --> 00:25:27,012 There's no way the box makes us worth a fraction of that. 505 00:25:27,090 --> 00:25:28,660 Laurie couldn't vote for the platform 506 00:25:28,730 --> 00:25:30,971 because she couldn't assign a dollar value to it. 507 00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:33,098 Well, Gavin has just done that. 508 00:25:33,170 --> 00:25:36,094 He's validated the market, so there's no reason to revote 509 00:25:36,170 --> 00:25:37,660 We win. 510 00:25:37,730 --> 00:25:41,291 I can't wait to see the look on that AAR prick's face 511 00:25:41,370 --> 00:25:44,180 when we come in there and gut him like a... 512 00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:47,411 Is he okay? 513 00:25:47,490 --> 00:25:48,855 He's gonna be fine. 514 00:25:49,050 --> 00:25:51,337 Welcome, men and ladies of EndFrame. 515 00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:54,698 Rather than incestuously promoting the same faces from within, 516 00:25:54,770 --> 00:25:58,217 you represent fresh blood, new ideas. 517 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,577 Everything Nucleus was not. 518 00:26:00,650 --> 00:26:05,451 It is my honor to personally welcome you all to Hooli. 519 00:26:08,090 --> 00:26:10,138 Does he really not remember us? 520 00:26:10,210 --> 00:26:13,532 How long did you work at Hooli? The last time? 521 00:26:13,610 --> 00:26:15,055 Seven years. 522 00:26:15,130 --> 00:26:16,734 I was here for nine. 523 00:26:16,810 --> 00:26:18,141 He was invited to my wedding. 524 00:26:20,210 --> 00:26:22,133 I hope Jack doesn't cry. 525 00:26:22,970 --> 00:26:24,779 I really hope he does. 526 00:26:27,370 --> 00:26:29,976 Hey, Gloria. Lynn. 527 00:26:31,330 --> 00:26:32,741 Did they both get fired? 528 00:26:32,810 --> 00:26:34,050 I don't... 529 00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:37,259 Laurie. What are you doing here? 530 00:26:37,330 --> 00:26:38,570 Where's Jack? 531 00:26:41,130 --> 00:26:42,256 As you may recall, 532 00:26:42,330 --> 00:26:45,971 at our board meeting last night, Jack said that he would get his way, 533 00:26:46,050 --> 00:26:48,098 and that, in his words, 534 00:26:48,170 --> 00:26:51,891 I, quote, couldn't do a goddamn thing about it, end quote. 535 00:26:52,530 --> 00:26:56,251 Well, in light of recent activities, 536 00:26:56,330 --> 00:26:59,015 it appears that I could do a goddamn thing about it. 537 00:26:59,090 --> 00:27:00,694 And I just did. 538 00:27:00,770 --> 00:27:02,613 Jack Barker has been exited. 539 00:27:02,690 --> 00:27:04,101 Fuck me sideways. 540 00:27:04,170 --> 00:27:05,376 Indeed. 541 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,536 Effective immediately, 542 00:27:07,610 --> 00:27:11,171 you are all at liberty to commence work upon the platform. 543 00:27:12,050 --> 00:27:14,098 Okay. Uh, wow. 544 00:27:14,930 --> 00:27:17,820 Yeah, I just got to ask, 545 00:27:17,890 --> 00:27:21,781 with Jack not being CEO anymore, am I CEO again? 546 00:27:21,850 --> 00:27:22,897 You are not. 547 00:27:24,410 --> 00:27:25,775 Nor are you, Mr. Bachman. 548 00:27:25,850 --> 00:27:28,694 I'm sorry, if I'm not CEO, Erlich isn't, Jack isn't, 549 00:27:28,770 --> 00:27:30,772 who is gonna run Pied Piper then? 550 00:27:31,770 --> 00:27:34,216 Officially, and until further notice, 551 00:27:35,210 --> 00:27:37,417 this chair will remain empty. 552 00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,092 - What, really? - Excuse me.