1 00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:12,680 Okay, one extra-large virgin margarita. 2 00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:15,877 - Thank you, Richard. - What took you so long? 3 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:18,271 Uh, I actually... Uh, I met a girl. 4 00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:20,393 It's called the bartender, she works here. 5 00:00:20,470 --> 00:00:21,960 No, no. It's a real girl. 6 00:00:22,070 --> 00:00:24,038 And I actually got her real phone number. 7 00:00:24,350 --> 00:00:26,717 Check you out, Mr. Casanova. 8 00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:28,201 Where is this individual? 9 00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,276 Um, she's right over there. 10 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:33,875 The tall dude? 11 00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:35,396 No, behind him. 12 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:38,121 Oh, she must be hiding behind that attractive girl in the red sweater. 13 00:00:38,190 --> 00:00:40,670 No, it is the attractive girl in the red sweater. 14 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:41,876 - Oh... - Please stop looking at her. 15 00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:43,395 She's magnificent. 16 00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:44,835 You sure it's not the tall guy? 17 00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:49,120 Why are we surprised that young Richard is garnering the attention of ladies? 18 00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:50,960 After all, he's king again. 19 00:00:51,030 --> 00:00:52,191 Women like that. 20 00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:54,716 Okay, so she's a founder hounder. 21 00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:56,792 Come on, no, it's not like that. 22 00:00:56,870 --> 00:00:59,316 But you did tell her that you're the CEO of your own company? 23 00:00:59,390 --> 00:01:00,516 it came up. 24 00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:04,151 But I mean, honestly, how else was I going to explain that me and my friends were at a bar? 25 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,277 That is a good point. 26 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:08,433 Anytime you're near a woman, it is important to explain why. 27 00:01:08,510 --> 00:01:10,638 Otherwise, they get nervous. 28 00:01:10,910 --> 00:01:17,316 Gentlemen, to Pied Piper's past, and now present, CEO. 29 00:01:17,390 --> 00:01:18,630 Oh, what about future? 30 00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:21,317 Jared, we'll worry about that later. 31 00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:23,233 Tonight is about Richard. 32 00:01:23,470 --> 00:01:24,915 To Richard. 33 00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:39,271 I think you'll find I'm a pretty tolerant boss, 34 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:42,957 but, Gleb, your last commit, you did use spaces over tabs. 35 00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:45,881 Um, I don't know why you'd commit to that. 36 00:01:45,950 --> 00:01:49,238 Uh, so, just tell me why on Earth you would do something like that. 37 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,200 Is not so big a deal. They're very much the same. Yes? 38 00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:54,318 Yes, yes, he's right. They're very much the same. 39 00:01:54,390 --> 00:01:56,040 No, no, sorry, they're not the same. 40 00:01:56,110 --> 00:01:57,999 At least not in my book. Um, um... 41 00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,592 One is right, and the other is wrong. 42 00:02:00,710 --> 00:02:03,031 Why didn't anyone tell Gleb to use tabs? 43 00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:05,431 Yeah, we did. And it's in the company style guide. 44 00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:09,879 I just don't think Gleb realized how seriously Richard takes this stuff. 45 00:02:09,950 --> 00:02:11,998 Yeah, I've honestly never understood it myself. 46 00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,994 I mean, once the code goes through the compiler, 47 00:02:15,070 --> 00:02:16,401 there's effectively no difference. 48 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,201 I know, but coders go, like, batshit over it. 49 00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:23,998 At Hooli, I once saw two engineers get into a fight so vicious, 50 00:02:24,070 --> 00:02:25,515 they almost made physical contact. 51 00:02:25,590 --> 00:02:26,557 What? 52 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:28,394 Okay, guys, back to work. 53 00:02:28,470 --> 00:02:32,714 Uh, Gleb, Sanjay, everyone, do you understand tabs? 54 00:02:32,790 --> 00:02:35,555 Yes, yes. You have made this very clear. As clear as crystal. 55 00:02:35,630 --> 00:02:36,597 Okay. 56 00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:39,435 Good, that's my little thing, and I'll hand you back to Dinesh now. 57 00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:44,471 He's the man with the plan, and the pretty cool tan. 58 00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:47,278 - it's not a tan, it's... - Yeah, I know, I know. 59 00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:49,079 Uh, sorry. 60 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:50,436 This is how I was born. 61 00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:53,076 Hey, Elisabet. Hi. 62 00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:54,993 Um, before you go, I just wanted to say that 63 00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:58,677 I thought your last commit was very impressive. 64 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,920 Oh, thank you. 65 00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:03,596 Almost as nice as the fingers that typed it. 66 00:03:05,190 --> 00:03:07,431 - Just call it like I see it. - Thank you. 67 00:03:07,510 --> 00:03:13,153 Speaking of seeing, I will see you tomorrow. 68 00:03:13,670 --> 00:03:15,240 Yes, you Will. 69 00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:16,921 Bye-bye, Dinesh. 70 00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:18,151 Bye, Elisabet. 71 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:22,431 Yuck. 72 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:23,790 What? 73 00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:25,799 You don't actually think she was flirting, do you? 74 00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:28,755 She works here. She's paid to interact with you. 75 00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:31,401 Just like that bartender that Richard thought he was flirting with. 76 00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:33,717 Uh, actually, she's not a bartender. 77 00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:35,997 And for your information, we've been trading texts. 78 00:03:36,070 --> 00:03:38,641 And we're going for drinks later, so... 79 00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,390 Great. 80 00:03:41,030 --> 00:03:43,476 If you go to the bar she works at, you can probably drink for free. 81 00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:45,871 Again, uh, not a bartender. 82 00:03:46,550 --> 00:03:47,915 Okay? She works at Facebook. 83 00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:49,958 So she makes a lot more money than I do or you do. 84 00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,959 And she's definitely not a founder hounder. 85 00:03:52,070 --> 00:03:53,560 So, sorry. 86 00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:57,080 Yeah, none of that adds up. 87 00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,152 Hey, guys, check out Code/Rag. 88 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:00,641 What, did the Gavin piece post? 89 00:04:00,710 --> 00:04:02,155 Indeed it did. 90 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,391 Oh. 91 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:07,235 "Gavin Belson's Hooli-Scrub Scandal." Awesome. 92 00:04:07,350 --> 00:04:10,354 Man, Gavin cannot be happy about this. 93 00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:19,631 Stay close. 94 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,316 Back up, back up. 95 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:25,960 You're on private property. Back to the sidewalk. 96 00:04:26,030 --> 00:04:26,997 You're gonna get arrested. 97 00:04:27,070 --> 00:04:28,071 Hey, Gavin! 98 00:04:28,190 --> 00:04:29,635 Hello, I'm... 99 00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:33,080 You know, a hundred years ago, 100 00:04:33,150 --> 00:04:35,756 men like me could've had people like that killed. 101 00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:37,635 Just like that. 102 00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:41,556 You think captains of industry like Andrew Carnegie or Cornelius Vanderbilt 103 00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:44,236 would've batted an eyelid? Please. 104 00:04:44,790 --> 00:04:48,158 Times sure have changed. 105 00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:51,831 Or have they? 106 00:04:53,630 --> 00:04:54,631 Of course they have. 107 00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:57,000 And for the better. 108 00:04:58,590 --> 00:04:59,796 Unless... 109 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:03,871 All right, forget it. 110 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,031 What are we doing about this article? 111 00:05:05,110 --> 00:05:07,317 Can we sue this Cantwell woman for libel? 112 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:11,236 Gavin, libel laws don't really apply when what's written is true. 113 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:14,234 It's my understanding you did in fact instruct Nucleus engineers 114 00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:16,631 - to obscure negative Hooli search... - I know what I did. 115 00:05:16,710 --> 00:05:20,317 Forget libel. What about this unnamed Hooli insider she keeps quoting? 116 00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:24,793 Everything this person is saying is obviously covered by a nondisclosure agreement. 117 00:05:24,870 --> 00:05:26,315 Let's sue that person. 118 00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:28,518 We don't know who that person is. 119 00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:31,793 And reporters generally don't give up their sources. 120 00:05:31,870 --> 00:05:34,601 Well, then I'll just have to light a fire under this reporter's ass, won't I? 121 00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:40,992 You know, there was a time, not so long ago, when it could've been a literal fire. 122 00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:45,641 But, as discussed, those days are gone. 123 00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:47,996 Unless... 124 00:05:49,830 --> 00:05:50,831 All right, forget it. 125 00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:54,393 You people are useless. Thank you. You're excused. 126 00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:07,035 It's Gavin Belson for C.J. Cantwell, please. She'll know what it's regarding. 127 00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:11,956 Now, the stage should be here. 128 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:14,717 With Yeezy or someone comparable. 129 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:17,873 Now, I have yet to land on a theme. 130 00:06:17,950 --> 00:06:22,558 Most people who rent Alcatraz for parties tend to go with the prison theme. 131 00:06:22,790 --> 00:06:28,160 How much would it cost to make this look as if it were never a prison at all? 132 00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,881 Spare no expense. 133 00:06:29,950 --> 00:06:31,952 And if you think it would be cool, 134 00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:35,512 I would love to have some sort of chocolate moat here, 135 00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:39,675 with little boats floating down it filled with graham crackers and marshmallows. 136 00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,639 It's been a childhood dream of mine. 137 00:06:41,710 --> 00:06:44,236 And get the best chocolatier. We want to impress. 138 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:47,560 I'm inviting every asshole from the Valley to attend. 139 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,311 - You're inviting assholes? - Absolutely. 140 00:06:50,390 --> 00:06:52,119 Assholes, shit dongles. 141 00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:56,673 Any foe or enemy I've made over my storied career will be here. 142 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:01,233 That way, when I take the stage and unleash the power of Bachmanity, 143 00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:03,912 they'll all be in the front row. 144 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:07,401 Erlich, uh, can we talk for a second? 145 00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:10,151 What is it, Big Head? 146 00:07:10,270 --> 00:07:11,874 I thought I told you to go watch something on your iPad. 147 00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:13,475 I think we may have a problem. 148 00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,518 That Code/Rag reporter I talked to 149 00:07:15,590 --> 00:07:18,400 says that Gavin Belson is threatening to sue her 150 00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:20,154 if she doesn't tell him who she spoke to. 151 00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:23,236 - So? - So, she spoke to me. 152 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,473 No publicity is bad publicity. This might be great timing. 153 00:07:26,550 --> 00:07:29,554 Exactly the reason that we are partners. 154 00:07:29,630 --> 00:07:33,715 Okay, yeah, except if Gavin finds out it was me that talked to the reporter, 155 00:07:33,790 --> 00:07:35,872 then he'll know I violated my NDA. 156 00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:39,432 And then he could come after my entire settlement if that happens. 157 00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:40,716 All two million. 158 00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:42,633 I mean, 20 million. 159 00:07:44,390 --> 00:07:46,916 Big Head, I'm not going to yell. 160 00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:48,840 And I'm not going to hit you. 161 00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:51,113 I'm just gonna ask you nicely, 162 00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:55,875 why in the holy fuck didn't you tell me you signed an NDA, 163 00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:58,794 you sweet, helpless little piece of shit? 164 00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:00,554 Well, that's the thing about the NDA, 165 00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,793 is that the NDA is actually covered under the NDA. 166 00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:07,317 So if I told you about the NDA, it would've been a violation of the NDA. 167 00:08:07,390 --> 00:08:10,314 And what about speaking with the reporter? What would that be? 168 00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:13,153 Yeah. Shit. 169 00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:17,037 So, what do you think I should do? 170 00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:18,760 - I could call her back and... - No. 171 00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:21,720 Let me handle it. You go wait in the helicopter. 172 00:08:21,790 --> 00:08:22,837 - Okay. - Go. 173 00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:27,833 Sasha, I'm going to need to go back to the mainland. 174 00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:28,911 Oh, is there a problem? 175 00:08:28,990 --> 00:08:31,675 Oh, no, no, no. Full steam ahead. 176 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,354 Mainland. 177 00:08:34,190 --> 00:08:35,680 This is an island. 178 00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,353 That's the theme. 179 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,795 Hawaiian. 180 00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,474 We'll have a luau. 181 00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:46,278 Yeah, somebody called me that in high school, 182 00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:47,954 and the nickname just stuck. 183 00:08:48,350 --> 00:08:50,000 Pakistani Denzel? 184 00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:53,791 I mean, I don't see it. But everybody else does. So... 185 00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:57,797 Maybe they should call him American Dinesh? 186 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,440 Stop. 187 00:08:59,510 --> 00:09:01,194 Only if you stop first. 188 00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:02,999 - No, you stop first. - You stop first. 189 00:09:03,070 --> 00:09:04,879 - You go first. - No, I think you should. 190 00:09:04,950 --> 00:09:07,191 Okay, I'll stop. Bye. 191 00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:08,916 What's your end game here? 192 00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:10,560 You think after your tired rap, 193 00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:13,554 she's going to hop on a plane, fly halfway across the world, 194 00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:15,477 and fuck you? 195 00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:17,075 My motivations are pure. 196 00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:19,638 Her and I have, like, a real connection. 197 00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:22,600 She's so, like, nice and she's so down-to-Earth, 198 00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:26,595 that it's like she has no idea how attractive she is. 199 00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:28,678 You don't know how attractive she is. 200 00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:31,799 Packet loss over Estonian broadband is terrible. 201 00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:33,071 She could be hideous. 202 00:09:33,150 --> 00:09:36,233 Well, I can't imagine that would matter to Dinesh one iota. 203 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:38,911 Right. 204 00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:43,075 'Cause she's nice and very talented and has a great laugh. 205 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,118 And with any luck, she's not a dogface. 206 00:09:47,030 --> 00:09:48,680 How was your date with Winnie? 207 00:09:49,350 --> 00:09:53,036 Uh, well, pretty good, considering she's still in the other room. 208 00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:55,238 Baller, you got lucky on the first date. 209 00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:57,638 Yeah, did a little bit, not everything. 210 00:09:57,710 --> 00:09:59,519 I mean, I slept in my jeans. 211 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:02,912 Well, take your time. Hunger is the best sauce. 212 00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:04,640 You're right. Uh... 213 00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:07,839 We did a little bit of under the shirts and light finger banging. 214 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,630 Oh, hey. 215 00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:17,674 - Hey, I'm Winnie. - Oh. 216 00:10:17,790 --> 00:10:19,030 Hi, I'm Dinesh. 217 00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:20,475 Hi, I'm Jared. 218 00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:23,321 - It is an honor to meet you. - Okay. 219 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,996 God, what a pleasure. 220 00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:26,431 Thanks. 221 00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:29,116 I'm Gilfoyle. 222 00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:30,316 Are you a bartender? 223 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,120 I work at Facebook. 224 00:10:32,470 --> 00:10:33,676 As a bartender? 225 00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:35,673 I had a stuffed animal named Winnie. 226 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:36,751 Oh, wow. 227 00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:37,991 I mean, it wasn't technically an animal, 228 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:41,279 I took a Ziploc bag and I stuffed it with old newspaper, 229 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,875 and then I drew a smile on it. 230 00:10:42,950 --> 00:10:45,237 Okay, well, shall we have some coffee, milady? 231 00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:47,551 - Sure. Let's do it. - Okay. All right. 232 00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:50,311 We're already on to Elizabethan nicknames. 233 00:10:50,670 --> 00:10:52,160 This is serious. 234 00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:54,234 They'll be Ren Faire-ing soon. 235 00:10:54,310 --> 00:10:55,357 It's healthy. 236 00:10:56,390 --> 00:11:01,476 And now that Richard's dating, in solidarity, I think I might get back out there myself. 237 00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:04,271 You make it sound like you've chosen not to date. 238 00:11:04,350 --> 00:11:07,081 Yeah, absolutely. I wanted to focus on Pied Piper. 239 00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:11,394 But, yeah, maybe now I'll fan out my plumage, so to speak, 240 00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:14,593 and see what pretty birdies might share my nest. 241 00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:18,120 Hey, Jared, if you fuck any pretty birdies in my server room, 242 00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:19,954 put a tie on the doorknob, won't you? 243 00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:22,237 As a signal. Yeah, good thinking. 244 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,001 Okay, so I'll just get the car keys, and then give you a lift home. 245 00:11:26,070 --> 00:11:27,196 Okay, milady? 246 00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:29,239 - Milord. - Oh, milady. 247 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,191 Okay. 248 00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:37,400 So, Richard tells me you guys are building deep nets into your platform? 249 00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:38,676 Oh, really? 250 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:41,276 What other company secrets did he blab to you? 251 00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:44,513 Well, I'm a bartender. I wouldn't understand all the science-y talk, right? 252 00:11:44,710 --> 00:11:45,711 Touché. 253 00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:48,077 So you do AI at Facebook? 254 00:11:48,150 --> 00:11:52,121 No, but when I was at MIT, I did my master's thesis on game-playing AIs. 255 00:11:52,190 --> 00:11:53,760 I did a lot of machine learning stuff. 256 00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:55,514 For gaming? How does that work? 257 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:56,591 It's on my GitHub. 258 00:11:56,670 --> 00:11:57,910 Do you want to check it out? 259 00:11:58,230 --> 00:11:59,959 Gavin said he was gonna haul me into court, 260 00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:03,796 and have a judge compel me to give up my source or go to jail. 261 00:12:03,870 --> 00:12:05,474 Okay? I am not going to jail. 262 00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:07,957 No, no one's going to jail, C.J. 263 00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:11,591 Although, if you did, going to jail for protecting your source 264 00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:14,355 would make you some kind of First Amendment hero. 265 00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:16,637 It's pretty much the best thing that can happen to a journalist. 266 00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:18,474 Journalist? I'm a tech blogger, okay? 267 00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:20,632 I write stories for the Internet about the Internet. 268 00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:22,553 I am not going to jail for that. 269 00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:25,395 I know it is an inconsequential shit job. 270 00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:28,834 It doesn't really contribute to culture in any way whatsoever. 271 00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:32,153 We've established that you don't have any journalistic integrity, 272 00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:37,441 but what would it cost to buy you some? 273 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:42,956 and then I figured out a way 274 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,954 to train a convolutional net to play Atari 2600 games. 275 00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:47,759 - Uh-oh. - What? 276 00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:49,316 Spaces. 277 00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:51,792 Yeah, so what, you guys use tabs? 278 00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:53,634 In this house, yes. 279 00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:58,113 Richard is a bit of a zealot in the Tabs V. Spaces holy war. 280 00:12:58,230 --> 00:13:00,039 I get that, for his company. Sure. 281 00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:01,953 This goes much deeper. 282 00:13:02,030 --> 00:13:05,159 I think he believes that people who use spaces are less than. 283 00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:08,318 - Huh... - I wouldn't mention this to Richard. 284 00:13:08,470 --> 00:13:09,995 You don't want to see him throw a hissy fit. 285 00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:12,277 Okay. Shall we away, milady? 286 00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:14,716 Nice to meet you guys. 287 00:13:14,790 --> 00:13:16,121 Have fun. 288 00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,592 - Bye. - Bye. 289 00:13:20,270 --> 00:13:22,272 I actually kind of liked her. 290 00:13:22,390 --> 00:13:23,801 Too bad Richard's going to fuck it up. 291 00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:27,001 So, you moved the swimming pool? 292 00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:31,714 Yeah, it just felt like it was way too far from the house, like, crazy far. 293 00:13:31,790 --> 00:13:34,555 So I had this company come and just move it closer. 294 00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:38,077 Uh-huh. But then you moved it back? 295 00:13:38,590 --> 00:13:41,560 Yeah, turns out the guy who built this place knew exactly what he was doing, 296 00:13:41,630 --> 00:13:45,396 and the pool was right where it needed to be the whole time. 297 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:48,235 But now I know that for sure, which feels good. 298 00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:50,916 Nelson, do you like being wealthy? 299 00:13:51,070 --> 00:13:52,640 Yeah, oh, man, it's awesome. 300 00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:54,235 So you want to stay wealthy? 301 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:56,597 - Okay, yeah, sure. - Great. 302 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,911 Here are the three things you need to do, all right? 303 00:13:58,990 --> 00:14:01,516 One, stop moving the swimming pool. 304 00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:04,231 Oh, yeah, okay, I can do that. What else? 305 00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:08,196 Two, you need to manage your expenses and track your receipts 306 00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:11,678 a little bit better than this. 307 00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:14,038 I'm only as good as the information I have. 308 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,117 Oh, you're great. 309 00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:17,158 No, I wasn't fishing for compliments. 310 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:21,639 And three, I sense that people are taking advantage of you. 311 00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:23,679 Oh, sorry, hold on. 312 00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:25,960 Oh, it's Erlich, I should probably grab this. 313 00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:28,032 Erlich Bachman, a perfect example. 314 00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:30,954 You gave him signing power on your personal checking account? 315 00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:32,270 Yeah, he's my business partner. 316 00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:35,433 You're not structured as a corporation. You're a general partnership. 317 00:14:35,510 --> 00:14:38,241 So he's essentially your spouse. 318 00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:40,199 That's very dangerous. 319 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:41,351 But I trust him. 320 00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:44,394 He's actually trying to save us money right now, so hold on. 321 00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:46,471 Hey, man. 322 00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:48,518 Big Head, wondrous news. 323 00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:51,799 I eliminated the Gavin problem, and at the exact same time, 324 00:14:51,870 --> 00:14:54,874 I closed funding on our first strategic investment. 325 00:14:55,230 --> 00:14:56,800 We bought a blog. 326 00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:59,392 Oh, cool. How much do blogs cost? 327 00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:00,471 What? 328 00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:02,632 Oh, nothing. We practically stole it from them. 329 00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:04,200 What? 330 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,681 I'm bullshitting. 331 00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:07,441 Half a million dollars. 332 00:15:07,510 --> 00:15:08,591 Let me talk to him, please. 333 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:12,556 Uh, hey, hey, Erlich, could you talk to my business manager for a second? 334 00:15:12,630 --> 00:15:15,076 No, I've got to jet, but tell him I'll see him at the party. 335 00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:16,356 Good day, partner. 336 00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,195 Okay, cool. 337 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,394 About the blog... 338 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,672 - Five hundred grand. - Oh, God. 339 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,832 I know, we practically stole it, right? 340 00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:27,998 Your roommates are really funny. I like them. 341 00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,674 They gave me a little shit. 342 00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:31,998 Oh, well, you can't take that personally. 343 00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:34,471 Oh, it's fine. They gave you shit, too. 344 00:15:34,550 --> 00:15:37,440 Really? What about, like, my hair or something? 345 00:15:37,510 --> 00:15:41,560 No. They tried to convince me you were some sort of formatting Nazi 346 00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:44,110 about tabs versus spaces. 347 00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:49,275 What? Me? A Nazi? That's ridiculous. 348 00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:52,399 That's what I said, I mean, I use spaces. So what? 349 00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:54,035 Mmm... 350 00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:55,953 Yeah, so what? 351 00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:58,351 See, they said you'd have a hissy fit if you found out. 352 00:15:58,430 --> 00:16:00,432 Mmm-mmm. Hissy fit. Me? No. 353 00:16:00,590 --> 00:16:01,557 I know. 354 00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:03,394 You know. I know. 355 00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:04,557 I mean, make up your mind, guys, 356 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,871 am I a Nazi or am I a guy who throws hissy fits, you know? 357 00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:09,191 Am I a Nazi who throws hissy fits? 358 00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:11,591 I hope not. That was Hitler. That was, like, his whole deal. 359 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,911 I mean, that's pretty insensitive to the Holocaust, don't you think? 360 00:16:13,990 --> 00:16:16,596 'Cause that's, like, what Hitler did. You know, he just, like, 361 00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:19,241 killed so many people, so tragic, such a tragic time. 362 00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:21,597 - Yeah. - I'm so glad we're not doing that anymore. 363 00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:24,480 I mean, we, like I was, you know... 364 00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:26,991 I want them all to die. I don't. I don't care. 365 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,232 I mean, I do care. Don't kill them. 366 00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:30,596 Them... Jews. 367 00:16:30,870 --> 00:16:33,032 Uh, anyway, what do you want to order here? 368 00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,557 Is that our P2P protocol? 369 00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:39,081 Yeah, I'm just hacking for fun. 370 00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:41,881 I figured out a way to use our compression for RTC, so... 371 00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:43,151 Video chat? 372 00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:45,597 Yeah, I think it could be better resolution than Hooli-Chat. 373 00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,240 Even over 3G. 374 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,961 It could just be, like, a fun, cool feature in the platform, you know. 375 00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:54,672 And then coincidentally you'll finally be able to see what Elisabet actually looks like. 376 00:16:54,990 --> 00:16:56,913 - Oh, yeah. - Huh. 377 00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:58,435 I hadn't thought of that. 378 00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:00,080 If you worked half as hard on the platform 379 00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:02,841 as you do trying to ogle strange Slavic women, 380 00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:05,551 maybe our shares would finally be worth something. 381 00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:06,871 Hey, uh... 382 00:17:08,470 --> 00:17:10,199 What the hell was that? 383 00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,079 Can you give us slightly more, Richard? 384 00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:24,441 Why did you tell Winnie that I think people who use spaces over tabs are stupid? 385 00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:25,991 Because you do. 386 00:17:26,070 --> 00:17:27,071 No, I don't. 387 00:17:27,150 --> 00:17:28,675 And if I did, which I don't, 388 00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:30,993 why would you say that behind my back to her? 389 00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:34,631 I mean, things were just going so well, until she... 390 00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:38,112 That was completely lovely. 391 00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:39,641 Yeah, it was really nice. 392 00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:41,951 You're really something. I'll give you a call later, okay? 393 00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:44,476 Okay, cool, yeah. Great, sounds good. 394 00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:45,917 Bye, Jared. 395 00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,156 Bye. 396 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:03,997 Jared? 397 00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:05,431 Yeah? 398 00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:06,956 Who was that? 399 00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:09,034 Oh, that was Carol. 400 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:16,918 So, uh, Jared, did you just have sex with her? 401 00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:21,756 What? 402 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:22,956 I'm an adult, 403 00:18:23,030 --> 00:18:25,840 and like the rest of you, I'm a sexual being. 404 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,274 You fucked her in the garage? 405 00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:31,639 Well, it's the server room and my bedroom. 406 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:35,112 What, so you just meet a woman, 407 00:18:35,510 --> 00:18:37,512 and then you have sex with her? 408 00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:41,435 How often does this happen? 409 00:18:41,790 --> 00:18:46,512 Well, if you're asking me how many times I've been in love, the answer is two. 410 00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:48,554 But the rest, I won't talk about. 411 00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:50,155 It's untoward. 412 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,910 Russ was right, this guy fucks. 413 00:18:54,270 --> 00:18:57,194 Who was that gorgeous gazelle in the driveway? 414 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,677 Well, I've said all I care to, let's move on. 415 00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:01,639 She let Jared have sex with her. 416 00:19:01,910 --> 00:19:05,153 Jared, nice. Using that dick. 417 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,320 Gents, 418 00:19:07,390 --> 00:19:14,080 I'd like to invite you to what promises to be the social event of the season. 419 00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:17,637 Bachmanity Insanity. 420 00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:19,916 Alcatraz? 421 00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:22,152 Don't worry, it will be unrecognizable. 422 00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:24,312 Jared, with regards to the... 423 00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:26,396 You need a plus one? 424 00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:29,594 Oh, no, thank you. I think it's too early for that. 425 00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:30,671 Good idea. 426 00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:33,401 Don't bring sand to the beach, there's already pussy there. 427 00:19:33,510 --> 00:19:37,196 Richard, I assume you'll be taking your woman friend? 428 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,955 You know what? Yes. 429 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:41,271 She and I will be there together. 430 00:19:41,350 --> 00:19:42,431 I'm going to make this work, 431 00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:46,640 despite all your little attempts to sabotage my relationship. 432 00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:49,395 You can do anything you put your mind to, Richard. 433 00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:52,553 Including turning Alcatraz into Hawaii. 434 00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:05,996 You Okay? 435 00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:08,638 Yeah. Yeah, all good. Great. 436 00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:14,920 - You know... - What? 437 00:20:15,350 --> 00:20:17,512 My roommate's going out of town tomorrow, 438 00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:20,594 so if we want to come back here after Erlich's party... 439 00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:24,755 Oh. Okay, yeah. Sure, that sounds good to me. 440 00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:26,320 All right, it's a date. 441 00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:28,154 See you then. 442 00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:42,836 Richard, what's wrong? 443 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:45,914 Nothing. Nothing. Literally, it's all good. 444 00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:51,436 Come on. 445 00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:52,841 - Oh, my God! - I'm sorry. 446 00:20:52,910 --> 00:20:54,400 Your roommates were right, you really hate spaces. 447 00:20:54,510 --> 00:20:55,841 No,no, no. 448 00:20:55,910 --> 00:20:58,959 I don't... It's not hate. Hate's a strong word. Um... 449 00:20:59,030 --> 00:21:02,034 Truth be told, I do have a slight preference for tabs. 450 00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:07,276 But that's only because I'm anal and because I prefer precision. 451 00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:11,480 Well, not to pick a fight here, 452 00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:15,111 but if you really care about precision, wouldn't you use spaces? 453 00:21:15,990 --> 00:21:17,355 - N... - But whatever. 454 00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:19,512 Once it goes through the compiler, it's the same thing, right? 455 00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:22,951 Yeah. Yeah, technically, yes. 456 00:21:28,590 --> 00:21:31,196 I guess I just don't understand why you... 457 00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:32,920 Anyone would use spaces over tabs. 458 00:21:32,990 --> 00:21:36,039 Like, if it's all the same, why not just use tabs? 459 00:21:36,110 --> 00:21:38,556 Because it could look different on other people's computers. 460 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:40,917 Tabs create smaller file sizes, all right? 461 00:21:40,990 --> 00:21:42,071 I run a compression company. 462 00:21:42,150 --> 00:21:45,040 Trust me, I've devoted my life to minimalizing file sizes. 463 00:21:45,110 --> 00:21:46,441 It's what I do. 464 00:21:46,510 --> 00:21:50,560 I mean, I do not get why anyone would use spaces over tabs. 465 00:21:50,630 --> 00:21:53,395 I mean, why not just use Vim over Emacs? 466 00:21:53,470 --> 00:21:54,995 I do use Vim over Emac. 467 00:21:55,110 --> 00:21:56,350 Oh, God, help us! 468 00:21:56,430 --> 00:21:57,636 Okay. Uh... 469 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,151 You know what? 470 00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,517 I just... I don't think this is going to work. I'm so sorry. 471 00:22:01,590 --> 00:22:02,557 I mean, like, what? 472 00:22:02,630 --> 00:22:05,281 We're going to bring kids into this world with that over their heads? 473 00:22:05,350 --> 00:22:06,715 That's not really fair to them, don't you think? 474 00:22:06,830 --> 00:22:08,832 Kids? We haven't even slept together. 475 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,321 And guess what, it's never going to happen now, 476 00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:15,112 because there is no way I'm going to be with someone who uses spaces over tabs. 477 00:22:16,990 --> 00:22:18,401 Richard. 478 00:22:21,710 --> 00:22:23,633 Wow, okay. 479 00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:24,871 Good bye. 480 00:22:24,950 --> 00:22:27,237 One tab saves you eight spaces. 481 00:22:30,470 --> 00:22:31,471 on! 482 00:22:35,230 --> 00:22:36,231 Oh, my God! 483 00:22:36,510 --> 00:22:37,875 Richard, what happened? 484 00:22:37,950 --> 00:22:41,079 I just tried to go down the stairs eight steps at a time. 485 00:22:41,830 --> 00:22:43,241 I'm okay, though. 486 00:22:43,990 --> 00:22:45,196 See you around, Richard. 487 00:22:45,270 --> 00:22:46,271 Just making a point. 488 00:22:57,870 --> 00:22:58,871 Huh. 489 00:22:59,350 --> 00:23:03,639 This new video chat protocol is making your image crystal clear. 490 00:23:03,710 --> 00:23:06,031 Wait one second, Dinesh. 491 00:23:06,430 --> 00:23:08,797 Uh, Dinesh, I can't see you, it's all black. 492 00:23:08,870 --> 00:23:13,558 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't give the camera permission to access the video chat, hold on. 493 00:23:13,630 --> 00:23:15,314 Boom! 494 00:23:15,390 --> 00:23:18,200 Yes, I can see you now. 495 00:23:18,270 --> 00:23:19,317 It's me! 496 00:23:19,390 --> 00:23:21,233 Pakistani Denzel! 497 00:23:23,150 --> 00:23:24,231 Yes. 498 00:23:24,310 --> 00:23:27,154 The Denzel who is from Pakistan. 499 00:23:27,230 --> 00:23:30,439 This video quality is great, right? Looks so sharp. 500 00:23:31,750 --> 00:23:34,594 That's what we do here at Pied Piper. 501 00:23:35,870 --> 00:23:37,599 It's very impressive. 502 00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:42,915 Um, I will have to tell my boyfriend all about it. 503 00:23:43,230 --> 00:23:44,277 Boyfriend? 504 00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:46,679 You never mentioned a boyfriend. 505 00:23:46,750 --> 00:23:48,195 Oh, no? Um... 506 00:23:48,950 --> 00:23:51,601 This is because he's now just husband. 507 00:23:51,910 --> 00:23:55,119 Um, I keep forgetting to say this, husband, 508 00:23:55,230 --> 00:24:01,033 but it is very good to see you this way, and we will talk more tomorrow. 509 00:24:01,390 --> 00:24:03,154 Yeah, we'll talk... 510 00:24:05,150 --> 00:24:08,950 Either she froze time, 511 00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:12,599 met and married the man of her dreams, 512 00:24:12,830 --> 00:24:16,801 unfroze time, and hopped back on to vid chat with you, 513 00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:20,392 or you're the dogface. 514 00:24:22,550 --> 00:24:24,552 Which do you think it is? 515 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,961 I'm on the fence. 516 00:24:26,230 --> 00:24:27,356 What the fuck is going on? 517 00:24:27,470 --> 00:24:32,112 Richard found a girl, you have a girlfriend, Jared is getting laid with a girl. 518 00:24:37,950 --> 00:24:39,315 Hi, Mom. 519 00:25:01,870 --> 00:25:02,871 Oh, God. 520 00:25:02,950 --> 00:25:05,157 Winnie, Winnie, Winnie, Winnie. 521 00:25:05,230 --> 00:25:07,358 Sweet, sweet Elisabet. 522 00:25:09,150 --> 00:25:11,391 Gentlemen, mahalo for coming. 523 00:25:11,830 --> 00:25:14,993 You must taste the breaded humuhumunukunukuapua'a, 524 00:25:15,590 --> 00:25:17,797 flown in fresh this a.m. 525 00:25:18,270 --> 00:25:19,760 What is mumu... 526 00:25:20,230 --> 00:25:21,391 It's breaded. 527 00:25:21,470 --> 00:25:22,437 Get ready. 528 00:25:22,510 --> 00:25:27,391 In T-minus five minutes, Big Head and I are going to take that stage, 529 00:25:27,470 --> 00:25:31,236 and I am going to ejaculate my success all over 530 00:25:31,310 --> 00:25:34,154 the faces and hair of my fiercest rivals. 531 00:25:34,350 --> 00:25:38,639 Like some sort of vengeful viscous web of payback. 532 00:25:38,830 --> 00:25:40,480 - Erlich? - Yes. 533 00:25:40,550 --> 00:25:41,551 One moment. 534 00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:44,640 - Sasha, you are doing an exceptional job. - Oh. 535 00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:48,635 I mean, I see no evidence that we are not in Hawaii. 536 00:25:48,710 --> 00:25:51,111 Hmm. We have a problem. 537 00:25:51,190 --> 00:25:54,558 Just, several of our vendors are saying that your checks have bounced. 538 00:25:58,150 --> 00:26:01,791 Uh, Sasha, hikiki'I. I'll be back. 539 00:26:02,590 --> 00:26:04,001 Big Head, Big Head. 540 00:26:04,110 --> 00:26:05,316 Why are our checks bouncing? 541 00:26:05,390 --> 00:26:07,472 If you had responded to any of my phone calls, 542 00:26:07,550 --> 00:26:09,393 I would've explained it to you. 543 00:26:09,470 --> 00:26:10,835 And who the fuck are you? 544 00:26:10,990 --> 00:26:15,120 Uh, Erlich, this is my business manager, Arthur... 545 00:26:15,670 --> 00:26:16,637 Klaiman. 546 00:26:16,710 --> 00:26:18,439 Klaiman. I knew it was something with Clay. 547 00:26:18,790 --> 00:26:20,872 As I was explaining to Mr. Bighetti, 548 00:26:20,950 --> 00:26:24,750 I've finally managed to get a handle on his finances. 549 00:26:24,830 --> 00:26:27,754 Our finances. Continue. 550 00:26:27,830 --> 00:26:31,755 After your considerable outlay on lifestyle, 551 00:26:32,190 --> 00:26:35,194 this party and half a million dollars on a website, 552 00:26:35,270 --> 00:26:38,831 you're functionally insolvent. 553 00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:41,954 Big Head, you're broke? 554 00:26:42,190 --> 00:26:43,430 We're broke, dude. 555 00:26:43,590 --> 00:26:44,671 Erlich, it's time. 556 00:26:44,750 --> 00:26:48,152 You have my number. I left it on your voice mail. 557 00:26:48,670 --> 00:26:50,320 Several times. 558 00:26:50,710 --> 00:26:55,034 Titans of the tech world, I give you Nelson Bighetti, Erlich Bachman 559 00:26:55,110 --> 00:26:58,876 and Bachmanity! 560 00:27:12,990 --> 00:27:16,517 - Aloha. - Uh, that means hello. 561 00:27:19,790 --> 00:27:20,837 Oh, and goodbye.