1 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,006 FEMALE NARRATOR'. Tables. 2 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:12,402 Tables are made so a person can sit down and do something. 3 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,403 Or nothing. 4 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,289 Any person can sit at a table, 5 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,011 and if the table is large enough, many people. 6 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:22,129 To make jokes, eat a meal, tell stories. 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,124 Tables are for people to be together and share. 8 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,124 And that is why tables are like Pied Piper. 9 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,124 Grapefruits, postcards, hugs. 10 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,567 These are things people share to connect, to become closer. 11 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,769 To open up about ideas and things that make us feel alive, 12 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:41,641 like air, ballet, amazing haircuts, weird countries, 13 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:46,521 three-alarm chili, mountains, continents, the Earth, life. 14 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:51,003 Life is beautiful and sad and hopeful and dangerous. 15 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,923 So maybe the reason we share so much 16 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,321 is because we understand that without sharing, 17 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,129 we can't survive. 18 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,481 And sharing is tables. 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,403 Pied Piper. 20 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,326 Yes. Tables. I see. It's a metaphor. 21 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,761 - It's a wonderful ad spot. - Yeah. We're all just tables. 22 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,285 I love what you've done with the place. 23 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,364 It's a really nicely done place. 24 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,528 Say, is that your dog? 25 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,922 It's a dog. 26 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,841 You and I have never really had much of a rapport, have we? 27 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,409 It's wanting. 28 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,127 Oh, look. 29 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:37,285 Well, we're almost there. Prepare to gather, everyone. 30 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,843 No, I didn't say to gather. I simply said prepare to gather. 31 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,250 - Monica, hey. - Oh, hey. How's it going? 32 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,448 - You holding up okay? - Not really. 33 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,568 I know. Her parties are always deeply weird. 34 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:56,167 Hey, um, I guess this is as good a time as any to say it, 35 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,370 but I'm really sorry for not getting Pied Piper. 36 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,809 And to be honest, it's really embarrassing to be so fucking wrong. 37 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,043 Well, here's the thing, you might not be. 38 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,963 What? What are you talking about? 39 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,201 Uh... 40 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,207 Okay. 41 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:18,763 So, well, Pied Piper launches and everything's great, 42 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,481 and we spent a fucking bazillion dollars, on the tables ad 43 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:26,770 and now we are almost at 500,000 installs, right? 44 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,366 - Yeah. What's the problem? - Well, as you know, 45 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,886 installs isn't really the metric that matters. 46 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,129 We need daily active users, people who come back to the platform. 47 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,567 Okay, so how many daily users do you actually have? 48 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,085 Okay, what would... What would be a number 49 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,561 that would make you say, "Oh, that's bad." 50 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,851 I don't know, like, 100,000? 51 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,241 Oh... 52 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,401 Are you less? 53 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,130 How much less? 54 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,810 - Nineteen thousand. - Nineteen thousand less than a... 55 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,929 - Eighty-one thousand? - No. No, just 19,000. 56 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,923 - That's the only number. - What? 57 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,844 - That's... That's terrible. - Yeah. I'm aware. 58 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,287 - Well, yeah, that's art, not a chair. - Uh... Oh. 59 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:05,521 Richard! Oh, my... 60 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,284 Wait, you haven't told Laurie yet, have you? 61 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,362 - No. - Okay. Well, who else knows? 62 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:11,890 - Dinesh and Gilfoyle? - No. 63 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:14,646 Erlich? 64 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:15,801 No. 65 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,562 Well, apparently Jared knows. 66 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,486 Yeah, Pied Piper's sort of what I'm known for, 67 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,962 but I'm into a lot of cool stuff. 68 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,724 Like, a lot. 69 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,087 You seem surprised. 70 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,288 I'll give you an example. A few months ago, 71 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,249 I'm at my computer, freestyling, 72 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,970 just kind of jammin' out, you know. 73 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,725 Before I knew it, I had thrown together 74 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,770 the greatest video-chat app the world has ever seen. 75 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:56,447 So you invented Skype a few months ago? 76 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,171 Great ideas just sort of flow through me. 77 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,005 The platform, you know, it's sort of a group project, 78 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,482 but the video-chat app, that's my solo album. 79 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,040 - Oh, Robert. - I'm Dinesh. 80 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,169 What the fuck is going on with you? 81 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,241 Hmm? 82 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,763 Could you be more specific? 83 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,726 You're hiding something. 84 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,928 What? No, I'm not. 85 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,729 Everything's fine. You know, everything's fine. 86 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,529 That's a lie. 87 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,523 I could tell because you subscribe 88 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,491 to traditional Judeo-Christian mores of right and wrong. 89 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,369 You're made uncomfortable by untruth. 90 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,526 My commitment to LaVeyan Satanism grants me certain freedoms. 91 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,604 There is no good and evil, there's only self. 92 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,051 - Would you like a beverage? - Yes, I would. 93 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,283 Lie. You just want me to go to the bar and leave you alone. 94 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,566 Gil... You crack me up. 95 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:54,607 Lie. 96 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,449 I terrify you, as I should. 97 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,802 Get out of here. 98 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,365 Okay, thank you. 99 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,965 Okay, so, I just spoke with my friend who runs a market research firm. 100 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,804 - Mmm-hmm. - She's gonna set up a focus group 101 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,850 for the platform, put it in the hands of some real users, 102 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,843 and hopefully it'll be super-obvious what's going wrong. 103 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,566 - Okay, great. - Clink, clink, clink. Gather. 104 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,563 Faster, please. Gather faster. We're close. 105 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,483 We need to see the numbers change. 106 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,404 499,995, 107 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:32,883 499,996... 108 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,966 499,997... 109 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,841 It's going great. 110 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,571 They've been engaging with the platform for about an hour now. 111 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,449 - They're just starting the Q and A. - Oh, great. 112 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,568 Thank you, everyone, for sharing your feelings 113 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,246 on the revolutionary new Pied Piper platform. 114 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,802 Now, Bernice, you say here that you were, 115 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,129 "Totally freaked out by the platform." 116 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,646 What specifically totally freaked you out? 117 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,765 Everything. Just every single thing about it. 118 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,444 Just, like, how it worked. 119 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:19,208 Now, who else found themselves totally freaked out by this platform? 120 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,204 Barry, Warren, Natalie, Martina, 121 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:26,363 Gwen, Amy, Walker and Clay. 122 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,568 You were all totally freaked out. 123 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,048 Was anyone not totally freaked out? 124 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,491 Clark? Good. What was your reaction? 125 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,961 It just made me feel stupid. 126 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,082 This file sync thing is confusing. 127 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,323 When I put videos into my main folder, it says it uploaded them, 128 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,482 but then I didn't see where they went. 129 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,608 It said stuff was on my phone and my iPad, 130 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,047 but when I looked at the memory, it said, "Zero K used," 131 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,804 so stuff wasn't on there. 132 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,607 That's the platform. He's describing the platform 133 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,802 and what's great about it. Well, clearly he doesn't get it. 134 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,486 Clearly, none of these people get it. Maybe this is a bad group. 135 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,047 This is the fifth one today and it's the least hostile reaction we've seen. 136 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:06,170 Okay, well, everyone that I showed the beta to loved it. Loved. 137 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,607 - Oh, shit. - What? 138 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:10,886 Who did you give the beta to? 139 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,442 - Your friends. Engineers. - Well, yeah, Monica. 140 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,568 I wanted to give it to people who would understand 141 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,246 what I'm trying to do, so I could get useful feedback. 142 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,810 And with all due respect, I gave it to you, 143 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,769 the one person without a computing background, 144 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,081 and you said it felt engineered. 145 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,883 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. 146 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,803 You're trying to sell the platform to regular people, 147 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,487 but you never actually put it in the hands of regular people. 148 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,721 Like them. 149 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,689 Shouldn't there be a download button? 150 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,242 Did they honestly forget to add a download button? 151 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,086 You know what, Richard, why don't we just go... 152 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,564 I mean, who designed this thing? 153 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,881 I did. I designed it. 154 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,810 Excuse me? Who are you? 155 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,007 Uh, my name is Richard Hendricks, I'm the CEO of Pied Piper. 156 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,127 Oh, my God. 157 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,163 Oh, you're the one 158 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,890 who forgot the download button. 159 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,287 Yes. 160 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,646 But no. No, actually, there is no download button because, well, 161 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,563 you don't need a download button. We're past that. 162 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,130 I mean, that's the old thing. This guy, actually, 163 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,565 he should have told you that. 164 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,210 I'm a moderator, not an advocate. 165 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,248 Okay, well, with Pied Piper, 166 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,971 you don't need to download anything or send anything at all, 167 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,761 anywhere, because the second you take a photo or a video 168 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,561 or compose a text message, it's on all of your devices instantly. 169 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,768 - So it's all on my phone? - Yes. 170 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,764 Wrong! It says, "Zero K used." So it's not on there. 171 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:30,841 Ah-ha! 172 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,846 Yes, well, that's the best part about the platform right there. 173 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,606 Yes, because you're right, it's not actually on the phone. 174 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,889 But you don't need it to be on the phone 175 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,611 if you can see it on the phone, 176 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,047 even though there's nothing there at all. 177 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,566 But... Where the hell is it? 178 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:50,801 Everywhere. 179 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,201 And nowhere, sort of. 180 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,008 Let me... Let me just take a step back here 181 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,845 and explain it in a simpler way. 182 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,604 - Um, sorry, what was your name? - Bernice. 183 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,967 Bernice, what did you have for breakfast today? 184 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,725 - Scrambled eggs. - Scrambled eggs. 185 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,802 And what's in the eggs? 186 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,609 Electrons. Right? 187 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,684 And we all know how electrons exist in orbitals. 188 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,842 Multivalent states? No? 189 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,241 No one knows this? Okay. 190 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,641 Okay, that's fine. Bad example. That's on me. 191 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,802 I'll... I'm going to use the whiteboard here. 192 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,087 You're gonna... You're gonna love this. Okay. 193 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,685 Then, once we hit a critical mass of users, 194 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,650 the volume of data moving through the system 195 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,122 will enable the neural net to start optimizing the platform. 196 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,329 It will actually get smarter and faster all on its own. 197 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,004 Is that like when I'm texting 198 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,401 and my phone starts guessing what I'm going to say? 199 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,244 This goes way beyond autocomplete. 200 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:49,120 Actually, all of your devices will begin helping each other 201 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,248 in ways that we can't even design or predict. 202 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,928 Okay, but see, the problem is... 203 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,001 Terminator. 204 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,683 What? No. No, no. No, no, no. No. 205 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,526 I can assure you that there is no Skynet type of situation here. 206 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,286 No. Pied Piper will in no way become sentient and try to take over the world. 207 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,002 He just told us he couldn't predict it. 208 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,129 I'm just saying... Everybody died. 209 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,521 - Yeah. - You're right. 210 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,082 In those movies, there were a lot of casualties. 211 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,041 Quite scary to think. It's food for thought. 212 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,690 Speaking of... 213 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,410 Can we order some pizzas in here? 214 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:34,166 So, when we put our files into a Pied Piper folder, 215 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,129 they get split up into tiny bits 216 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:40,808 and spread across a network of other users' devices? 217 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:44,009 Yes, that's peer-to-peer distribution. Continue. 218 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,889 But they can't look at any of our files 219 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,487 because they only have tiny, scrambled pieces of them? 220 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,767 - Encrypted sharding. - Clark with the assist. Great. 221 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,367 - Uh, go on. - But we can look at any of our files anytime, 222 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,684 anywhere, even though they're not actually on any of our devices. 223 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,921 Yes. Yes, Bernice, that's it. 224 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,002 That's Pied Piper. That's everything. 225 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,323 So it's all on our phones even though it sort of isn't. 226 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,880 Oh, my God. That's awesome. 227 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,371 Isn't it? Yeah. 228 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,165 So, what do you think? Will you use Pied Piper now? 229 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,766 - Well, yeah, I think I will. - Me, too, 230 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,605 - now that you've explained how it works. - There you go. 231 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,523 That's what we've been aiming for. 232 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,486 They get it. 233 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,289 What's he smiling at? 234 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,364 This data was corrupted the second he walked in that room. 235 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,882 So we're tanking, and it's because we're too good. 236 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,681 That's one way of looking at it. Uh, yes. 237 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,206 Yes, we have created a product so far ahead of its time, 238 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,363 people are having difficulty wrapping their heads around it. 239 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,125 Well, then we just need to change the platform, right? 240 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,931 - We simplify it. - Well, we can't. 241 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,527 It's not as if I don't want to, it's just that we literally can't do it. 242 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,965 Um, if you build an airplane and people are afraid of anything that flies, 243 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,849 you can't just take the wings off of it because, 244 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:04,767 at that point, all you're left with is a really slow, super-expensive shitty bus. 245 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,205 No, we built an airplane, we gotta fly it. 246 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,965 What's the point of flying if it's fucking empty? 247 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,162 I think people will want to fly 248 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,323 once they realize how cool the platform is. 249 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,528 Guys, I know we're in a tough spot right now, 250 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,206 and I know we needed a quarter-million DAUs 251 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,487 in order to get our next round of funding, but this is it. 252 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,005 I think we can do this. 253 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,004 All we gotta do is just take every last dollar that we have, 254 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,003 which is... Sorry, Jared, what? 255 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,289 Well, after the table ads... 256 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,886 the salaries, recruiter fees... 257 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,490 You know what? I haven't run the numbers. 258 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,688 It would be irresponsible to estimate. 259 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,843 Okay, is it less than a million dollars? 260 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,969 - Oh, God, yeah. - Okay. 261 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,930 - It's higher than 500,000, right? - Yeah. 262 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,561 I guess it's about $697,240. 263 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,130 But don't quote me on that. 264 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,762 Okay, we use that money to do outreach, tutorials, 265 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,965 user meet-ups, create a guerrilla marketing campaign 266 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,123 that explains how cool the platform is. 267 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,125 I know it's not ideal, but I really think we can pull this off. 268 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,884 Yeah, that seems doable. 269 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,246 Lie. 270 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:19,370 Or here's another idea. We could put the platform on hold, 271 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,370 take the money we have left, and pivot to something 272 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,966 that doesn't require hours of explanation. 273 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,370 You know, I've been showing people the video-chat app 274 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,171 - that I hacked together and... - Shut up, Dinesh! 275 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,968 You ungrateful pricks, all of you. 276 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:39,401 Your tepid response to our intrepid boss makes me ill. 277 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,606 His plan, will it work? Mmm-mmm. 278 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,124 Almost certainly not. 279 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,010 All of you will likely look back at this time in your lives 280 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,880 and realize you wasted a whole year with nothing to show for it. 281 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,601 But if this company is a plane, then this is Richard's goddamn plane, 282 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:58,445 and if he wants to fly it into the side of a fucking mountain, 283 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:02,121 that is his prerogative and it is our duty to climb on, 284 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:06,569 strap in and have a fiery death right behind him. 285 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,480 I don't... I don't know about that, but... 286 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,608 Richard, the floor. 287 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,048 Crashing aside, I think this is the plan, and, 288 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,970 really, what other option do we have? 289 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,963 Well, I know what option I have. 290 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,201 I can quit. 291 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,001 So I quit. 292 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,891 Okay. Any... Anybody else? 293 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,245 Guys, no. 294 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,368 Look, Douglas, 295 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,442 customer support is going to be a big part of this. 296 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,330 We need you guys if we're going to get 250,000 users. 297 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,323 I barely have any customers to support, Richard. 298 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,129 And the only way you're going to get that many users 299 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,409 is if you go to one of those click farms in Bangladesh and pay for them. 300 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,250 Good fuckin' luck, man. I'm out. 301 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,045 - Guys, wait. - Jared, let them go. 302 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,929 I have to do their exit interviews. 303 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,241 I guess I can do them on their walk to their cars. 304 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,366 Richard, we're better off without them. 305 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,646 Lie. 306 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:07,406 This is intolerable. A man can only take so much. 307 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,001 - Mmm-hmm. - Banished from my own company? No. 308 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,889 I'm just going to give them what they want. 309 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,086 I'm going to resign. 310 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,010 We can go to Haiti, build orphanages. 311 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,411 Haiti? 312 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:25,888 Is it not said that one should think globally and act locally? 313 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,485 I'm not acting at all. 314 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,086 Lao Tzu teaches the best fighter is never angry. 315 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,721 More important than the blow is knowing when to strike. 316 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:39,361 Like, perhaps, after we experience 317 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,683 the executive white water rafting trip in Coeur D'Alene? 318 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,690 Gavin, do you have a moment? 319 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,120 Yes. 320 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:51,921 Alone? 321 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,720 Of course. Denpok? 322 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:54,801 What? 323 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:56,925 Give us a moment, please? 324 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,645 Gavin, I'm really not supposed to be talking to you, 325 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,529 but there's something I think you should know about. 326 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:09,967 I'm listening. 327 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:13,203 A customer service rep that just left Pied Piper 328 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,687 is on campus right now interviewing for a job. 329 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,011 Why would anyone leave Pied Piper now? 330 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,771 I thought maybe you'd want to ask him yourself. 331 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:24,841 Well done. 332 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:26,641 Well done. 333 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,131 Okay. Thank you for coming in, Douglas. 334 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,884 - Yeah. - Right this way. Okay. 335 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:36,841 Uh... 336 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:38,841 Douglas. 337 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,050 Consider the possum. Nature's... 338 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,691 Gavin, if you're bringing another animal into this boardroom, 339 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:50,560 - this meeting is over. - Of course not. Don't insult me. 340 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,330 Gentlemen and lady of the Hooli board, 341 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,290 I am the possum to which I refer. 342 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,931 Playing dead to outwit those who wish me harm. 343 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,365 But it's time to end the charade. 344 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,488 I'm sorry, Gavin. What charade? 345 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:07,610 For months, I've led the world to believe that my EndFrame division was pursuing 346 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,765 a broad-based compression platform in direct competition with Pied Piper. 347 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:16,522 But secretly, I knew that any such platform was destined to fail. 348 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,728 But Pied Piper is not failing. 349 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,087 It's the most popular app in the Hooli store. 350 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,640 One of the most installed, yes. 351 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,008 But I happen to know, because I make it my business to know, 352 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,686 that their daily active user numbers are abysmal. 353 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,528 So, you were never developing a platform. 354 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,090 Why didn't you tell us this? 355 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:40,529 Says the chairperson of the board that recently asked for my resignation. 356 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,728 Trust cuts both ways. 357 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,246 I thought it best to leave you out of it. 358 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,810 I'm sorry, Gavin, 359 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,087 I'm just finding all of this impossible to believe. 360 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,004 If you were never building a platform, 361 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,686 what did we just spend three-quarters of a billion dollars on? 362 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,930 I'm not going to tell you. 363 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,007 Instead, I'm going to let the new head of product 364 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,730 for Hooli/EndFrame tell you. 365 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,289 Hello, everyone. 366 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:08,250 I'm Jack Barker, and I'm very excited 367 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,006 to introduce Hooli/EndFrame's newest product... 368 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,687 We call it The Box. 369 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,767 Pied Piper's loss is Hooli's gain. 370 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,770 May the best product win. 371 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,643 Can I get you a shirt, sir? There you go. 372 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,610 Actually, let me ask you a question, Emily. 373 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,523 What did you have for breakfast today? 374 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,489 - Um, yogurt. - Okay. 375 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,291 And we all know what's in yogurt, right? 376 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,727 Electrons. Multivalent states. 377 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,766 Welcome to the Pied Piper Informational Seminar. 378 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,691 Now, what is Pied Piper? Excellent question. 379 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,560 Here it is. 380 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:58,041 One of your Hooli/EndFrame boxes would go right here in this rack. 381 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,566 Okay, let me show you the next location 382 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,642 in which we would install one of your boxes. 383 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,930 - Congratulations, Jack. - And congratulations to you, Gavin. 384 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,651 - Hey, John? John? - John? 385 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,409 A lot of people have raised their hands 386 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,165 throughout this seminar saying, "Hey, is this thing like the Terminator?" 387 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,288 Uh, no. Not at all. 388 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,283 Hi, how big are your files? 389 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,249 Dodge Challenger? 390 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,321 Hoodie? 391 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,444 - John? - Yo! 392 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,841 - John? - John! 393 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,888 John! 394 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,124 This is Pied Piper, guys, okay? 395 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,850 If I could just explain it one more time. 396 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,771 Guys? Please don't leave. I beg you. 397 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,522 Hi, Bernice. Yeah. 398 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,806 We kind of thought we nailed it with tables, 399 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,327 but you say you want something light, fun, inviting. 400 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,928 But most of all, you want something that delivers 401 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,288 a step-by-step guide to all of the nuances of your platform. 402 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,964 - Yeah. - All of this with the caveat that 403 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,691 you don't have enough money for even a minuscule ad buy. 404 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:33,881 Yes, that's right. 405 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,089 That's a pretty small target to hit. 406 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,402 Anyway, here's what we came up with. 407 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,400 Oh, hello, welcome to Pied Piper. 408 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,050 How can I help you? 409 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,767 What in the name of fuck is that? 410 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,491 Well, his name is 411 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,211 Pipey, the Pied Piper piper. 412 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,001 He's fun. And, you know, the demo's interactive. 413 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,286 Just... 414 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,408 Looks like you want to compress a movie file! 415 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,723 Can I help? You know, with Pied Piper's revolutionary 416 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,361 neural network, optimized, sharded data distribution system, 417 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,764 it's just six clicks away! Follow me! 418 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,530 - I like it. - That's a fuckin' lie. 419 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,647 Yeah. 420 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,486 So, Richard, you want us to take the most sophisticated 421 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,404 and technically complex compression-based platform 422 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:33,166 - ever created and add that? - Still here! 423 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:40,641 Well, after the booths at CES and South by Southwest, 424 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,769 - all of our outreach, the Dodge Challenger... - Still here! 425 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,561 Plus, all the cost of working up, you know, this, 426 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,326 - we are pretty much all out of money. - Follow me! 427 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,365 Okay. 428 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,845 Uh-oh. Somebody seems confused! 429 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,002 Let me walk you through Pied Piper's proprietary 430 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,651 peer-to-peer content distribution system. 431 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,247 Richard? Are you indisposed? 432 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,890 Richard, can I come in? 433 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:21,011 Richard, I'm sorry the guys didn't like Pipey. 434 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,126 It's over, Jared. 435 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:28,005 Well, you know, a lot of animated characters have rough starts. 436 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,890 Early Bugs Bunny cartoons were just garish displays 437 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,769 of anti-Japanese hysteria, 438 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,763 and now he's the face of Warner Bros. 439 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,208 I'm not talking about Pipey, Jared. I'm talking about Pied Piper. 440 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:43,010 We're dead. We fought Gavin Belson, Russ, Hooli, 441 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,447 the lawsuit, that fucking Box, 442 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,046 all so we could build our platform the way we wanted to. 443 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:53,729 And we did, but I guess you just can't fight public opinion, 444 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,088 except for one woman named Bernice. 445 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,089 Face it, Jared, being too early is the same as being wrong. 446 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,241 Hey- 447 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,331 - We'll figure it out. - I don't know if we will. 448 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,810 Besides, I think I'm getting tired of being kicked in the balls. 449 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,201 Come on, we have a few weeks of runway left. 450 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,123 Uh, I don't want to say exactly how much. 451 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,202 Again, I'm not comfortable estimating, but... 452 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,285 Take what's left of it and divide it up amongst the guys. 453 00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:27,170 I mean, it won't be anywhere close to what you're owed in back pay, 454 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,651 but at least it's something. 455 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,008 Don't give up. Richard, come on, not yet. 456 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,003 We've got to hang on, we've got to see what happens. 457 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,923 Something could turn around. I know it will. 458 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,568 - You really believe that? - Absolutely. 459 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,611 Gilfoyle's right, you're a terrible liar. 460 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:49,085 Um, just set an all-hands for tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. 461 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,162 And I'll tell the gang. 462 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,481 It's over, Jared. 463 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,287 And lastly, our deal to furnish EndFrame boxes 464 00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:05,204 to Maleant Data System Solutions has officially closed, 465 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,126 putting us far ahead of even the most optimistic profit targets 466 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,645 issued by this very board. 467 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,645 Gavin, it appears we owe you an apology. 468 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,650 We'd like to restore your full status as CEO and chair 469 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:21,805 with a significantly revised bonus and stock options package. 470 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:23,841 Thank you. 471 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,207 Of course, apology accepted. 472 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,204 I would like nothing more than to move forward 473 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,567 in a harmonious and productive manner. 474 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,529 Actually, with that in mind, 475 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,967 there's something I'd like to show you. 476 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,044 It's outside. Is that all right? 477 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:40,810 A little field trip, if you will? 478 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,491 Just down here. 479 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:46,651 A little farther. 480 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,081 We're almost there. 481 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,481 Just out here, everyone. Almost there. 482 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,564 Consider the elephant. 483 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:07,086 Legend has it its memory is so robust it never forgets. 484 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,162 And I assure you, gentlemen of the Hooli board, 485 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,767 and lady, neither do I. 486 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,683 Okay, guys, uh, 487 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,448 we need to have a serious discussion about the future of the company. 488 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,284 What? Why is everyone smiling? 489 00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:39,089 Richard, something happened last night. 490 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,083 The daily active users are up, way up. 491 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,641 - Look at it. Look. - Really? 492 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:47,721 Holy shit! 493 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,009 Did we just get 7,000 users in a day? 494 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,525 We sure did! We're back! 495 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,724 I don't know if it was the outreach 496 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,883 or the tutorials, but we seem to be getting traction. 497 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,361 Richard, you pulled us out of a nosedive. 498 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:05,367 Of course, inevitably, we will run out of fuel and plummet towards the Earth, 499 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,047 leaving only a crater behind of torn flesh and excrement, 500 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,600 but in the meantime, we are flying high! 501 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,967 Yeah. I guess we are. 502 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,008 You know, it's crazy, just last night I was 503 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,811 telling Jared that I thought we should shut down the company. 504 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,565 Well, perfect timing then, huh? 505 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:26,361 Oh. 506 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:27,965 Excuse me. I should get this. 507 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,761 Hey, Jared. 508 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,330 - Are those numbers legit? - Of course. 509 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,765 - All right, then. - This is Jared. 510 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:42,806 MAN". So, are we happy? 511 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,962 Yeah. Worked out great. 512 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:49,045 So let's keep the 7,000 users that I bought 513 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:52,044 and add another thousand a day for the next week. 514 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:53,565 You got it, buddy.