1 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:12,180 So as you can see, since I became the CEO, 2 00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:14,980 our user growth, undeniable. 3 00:00:15,020 --> 00:00:19,320 Our retention, so sticky, it's pornographic. 4 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,620 We're lean, we're exploding, 5 00:00:21,660 --> 00:00:23,590 and we're more mission-focused than ever 6 00:00:23,630 --> 00:00:26,460 in providing the best video chat 7 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:30,060 the world has ever seen. 8 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,770 Wow. Well, this seems really promising, gentlemen. 9 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,500 Promising, indeed. 10 00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:40,440 - I think if each... - "Promising"? 11 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:43,440 You're a young associate here, so I'm gonna help you out, okay? 12 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,380 We have a lot of these meetings set up. 13 00:00:46,410 --> 00:00:47,880 We will be fine. 14 00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:50,220 What he means by that is... 15 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,520 But you... 16 00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:53,180 you don't wanna be known around here 17 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,890 as the guy who fucked this up, okay? 18 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,160 So when you hip your bosses to our numbers 19 00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,430 and they get visible hard-ons, have them move quickly. 20 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,530 Erlich, you're with me. 21 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,260 - It's "hards-on." - What? 22 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,070 "Hards-on" not "hard-ons." 23 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:10,430 It's a syntactical error that I could've remedied 24 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,170 if you had just given me the space to speak. 25 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,540 Erlich, seeing you Thursday, right? 26 00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:16,040 You better believe it. 27 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,210 Can't wait for it. For, uh... 28 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,480 For Jian-Yang's pitch. His new idea sounds super exciting. 29 00:01:22,510 --> 00:01:24,950 Yes, well, he is... white hot right now. 30 00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:27,380 And that's why I had him reach out directly, 31 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,490 and we can't wait to pitch you the idea 32 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,950 that is gonna be pitched to you. 33 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:32,290 Great. I'll see you then. 34 00:01:33,690 --> 00:01:36,260 - You have no idea what it is, do you? - Not a fucking clue. 35 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,940 Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! 36 00:01:56,980 --> 00:01:59,050 Always blue! Always blue! 37 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,650 Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! 38 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,590 - Hey. - Always bl... 39 00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:06,890 Richard, hey. 40 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,860 What's, uh... Ah, there we go. 41 00:02:08,890 --> 00:02:11,690 What's going on? You... celebrating something? 42 00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:13,690 We were just... chanting. 43 00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:16,360 Why? What, the pitches go well? 44 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,160 They went fine, you could say. 45 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,470 You said they went awesome. 46 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,430 All right, thank you, Big Head. 47 00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:25,340 I mean, I did get us a... few offers. 48 00:02:25,370 --> 00:02:28,710 "We" did receive more than a few offers, 49 00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:30,940 as "few" often refers to three. 50 00:02:30,980 --> 00:02:32,980 And today, we're four for four. 51 00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:38,050 Huh. Which... I mean, what does that even mean? 52 00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:39,990 Nothing. Nothing at all. 53 00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:42,690 Look, you don't have to do this. 54 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,990 Really. It was my choice to leave the company, 55 00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:47,660 and besides, my Internet thing is going great. 56 00:02:47,690 --> 00:02:49,530 Really, it's going very well. 57 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:53,100 So I want you to succeed, and I want you guys to be happy. 58 00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:54,570 Sure you do, slugger. 59 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,530 Stop. Really. 60 00:02:56,570 --> 00:02:59,370 It's cool. I mean that, totally honestly. 61 00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:00,700 Keep it positive. 62 00:03:00,740 --> 00:03:03,970 I should go Skype my dad, I think, and tell him the good news. 63 00:03:04,010 --> 00:03:07,440 Um, it is good news, though, right? 64 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,250 'Cause we were all sort of like happy and celebrating, 65 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,240 but now... now it feels sort of weird and... 66 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,280 Just go, Big Head. 67 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,320 - Okay. It's good? - Yes. 68 00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:16,850 All right. Well... enjoy. 69 00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:18,920 Carry on. Always blue. 70 00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:23,330 - Jared. - Okay. 71 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,490 - Always blue. Always blue. - Sorry. Sorry. 72 00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:28,130 Dinesh, I think you accidentally disabled my access keys 73 00:03:28,170 --> 00:03:29,930 for the video chat data repository. 74 00:03:29,970 --> 00:03:33,900 No, actually, I deleted them on purpose. 75 00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:36,540 I purged all our ex-employees. 76 00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:38,470 Gleb, Sanjay, Elisabet, you. 77 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,740 Gleb? What, you're comparing me to Gleb? 78 00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:43,340 When we agreed to split the company, we said that 79 00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:45,110 you could take the algorithm for your video chat, 80 00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:47,180 and I could use the data flowing through the system 81 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:49,120 to optimize the algorithm for my thing. 82 00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:51,620 - We had a deal. - We had an agreement, 83 00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:53,820 not technically a deal. 84 00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:56,360 What the fuck, Dinesh? 85 00:03:56,390 --> 00:03:58,230 - Play! Play! Blue, blue! - Always blue! Always blue! 86 00:03:58,260 --> 00:04:00,230 Have fun, you're having a party. You got pizza and everything. 87 00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:00,880 Always blue. 88 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,730 So, what? I should've got it in writing, Dinesh? Is that it? 89 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,730 You wanna lawyer up now? You know, we're just some guys in a house. 90 00:04:05,770 --> 00:04:08,070 But I don't wanna be just guys in a house, Richard. 91 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:11,900 That's the whole point. I want PiperChat to be a real company. 92 00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:14,370 And after all the bullshit we went through, no offense, 93 00:04:14,410 --> 00:04:16,910 I finally got some real financing lined up for us. 94 00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:18,840 I cannot have another Intersite on my hands. 95 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,210 That was fucking Russ and his shitty tequila. 96 00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:23,280 You know that, man? You were there. That wasn't me. 97 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,280 Richard, it happened on your watch. 98 00:04:27,190 --> 00:04:29,550 I'm sorry. I really am. 99 00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:32,320 But the answer is no. 100 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,130 Okay, well, suck a dick. 101 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,600 I'm sorry, what did you say? 102 00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:42,100 - Nice blazer. - Thank you. 103 00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:43,930 - Where'd you get it? - Does it matter? 104 00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:45,770 I just want to know where I can get one, 105 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,800 so I can look like a total fucking douchebag. 106 00:04:52,780 --> 00:04:54,280 Wow, right? 107 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,050 Unbelievable. 108 00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:02,080 Gents, why don't we take this... 109 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,250 party outside? 110 00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:05,820 Yes, we live in California. 111 00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,260 We should take advantage of it. 112 00:05:08,290 --> 00:05:10,930 Oh... Okay. 113 00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,870 Gavin, you told me to interrupt 114 00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,340 if Jack Barker came to see you. I'm sorry. 115 00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:24,310 Yes. Send him in. 116 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:26,840 I thought Barker would crack after one day in that basement. 117 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,780 The fact that it's taken him two weeks to fess up 118 00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:32,150 about hijacking my fucking plane and resign 119 00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:34,120 will make it all the sweeter. 120 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:37,750 Hiya, Skipper. 121 00:05:37,790 --> 00:05:41,160 Sorry to barge in. I owe you an apology. 122 00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:43,190 Really? Whatever for? 123 00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:46,130 When you stuck me in that basement, 124 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:50,300 I was like, "Jack, what the hell did you do wrong?" 125 00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:53,870 And I'm sorry that it took me so long to get it through my thick skull. 126 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,640 I finally figured out what this is all about. 127 00:05:56,670 --> 00:05:58,170 Well, I'm glad to hear it. 128 00:05:58,210 --> 00:06:02,180 You are doing exactly what Bobby Iger does over at Disney. 129 00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:04,710 What? 130 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,410 He makes every manager spend 131 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:09,080 one day of the year in the Goofy suit. 132 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,180 Because sometimes, you just gotta be at product level 133 00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:14,390 to be able to see the best path forward. 134 00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:17,360 And once I realized that, it was like, ka-pow! 135 00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:20,490 It was so obvious. It's the algorithm. 136 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:23,060 Pied Piper put middle-out in their vid chat, 137 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:26,560 and it's amazing now, I know. I'm on it all the time with my grandkids. 138 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:32,240 We could use middle-out to revamp our entire suite of products. 139 00:06:32,270 --> 00:06:34,140 We can make billions, Chief. 140 00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:36,340 I'm whipping up some proposals right now 141 00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:38,940 that are gonna knock that wig right off your head. 142 00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:42,380 Yeah. 143 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,780 What the fuck is he up to? 144 00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:53,090 Look like a fucking wig to you? 145 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,460 The point is, Jian-Yang, you don't set pitches. 146 00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:58,900 I handle the scheduling. That's the symbiosis of our relationship. 147 00:06:58,930 --> 00:07:01,300 - No. - What do you mean, "no"? 148 00:07:01,330 --> 00:07:02,220 No. 149 00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,870 Jian-Yang, PiperChat has some real heat, okay? 150 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,370 And we can draft off of that, 151 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,870 but it has to be a carefully choreographed dance. 152 00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:10,640 You can't just wiggle your little tush 153 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,740 and expect every VC in the Valley to get hards-on. 154 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:15,880 I am your lead investor, you will respect me as such. 155 00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:17,280 I do not respect you. 156 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:20,920 You're not any kind of investor. You own nothing. 157 00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:23,180 I own 10 percent. You live in my incubator. 158 00:07:23,220 --> 00:07:24,590 No, you evict me, 159 00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:27,990 - I evict your 10 percent. - What are you talking about? 160 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,960 "Santa Clara Sheriff's Department. 161 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,200 "Vacate or be forcibly removed." 162 00:07:38,230 --> 00:07:41,940 To be fair, Jian-Yang, I filed this when I had no expectations 163 00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:44,140 - that the system would work. - Okay. 164 00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:47,510 Jian-Yang, just tell me... can you just tell me what the idea is, 165 00:07:47,540 --> 00:07:49,910 so I can Gauge how aggressively I should pursue it? 166 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,780 Hey, Jared, you were there, right? 167 00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,980 When we split the company into two, 168 00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:56,580 - Dinesh and I had a very... - Stop, stop. Please stop. 169 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,380 - Richard, what're you doing? - What? What? 170 00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:00,750 What do you mean? I'm complaining about Dinesh. 171 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,250 He... He sucks. 172 00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,020 He's my boss now, Richard. 173 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,390 Well, your boss is being a real prick. 174 00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:09,390 Richard, we have to bifurcate our relationship. 175 00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:12,430 You and I can no longer discuss business. All right? 176 00:08:12,470 --> 00:08:15,930 We can... We can talk about anything else two guys might talk about. 177 00:08:15,970 --> 00:08:20,940 We can talk about sports teams and their scores, or pussy, 178 00:08:20,970 --> 00:08:25,040 but... but you and I cannot and will not discuss business. 179 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,620 Hey, man, for what it's worth, 180 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:34,750 I thought it was super fucked up what Dinesh did. 181 00:08:34,790 --> 00:08:37,250 I know what it's like to be the one guy not in the company. 182 00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:39,220 You know? So... 183 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:44,030 If you want my log-in, it's all yours. 184 00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:46,400 Really? 185 00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:47,860 - Yeah, man. - Thanks. 186 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,000 You know what? 187 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:55,200 I shouldn't do this. Dinesh said no. 188 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,790 And also, these are "Skyrim" cheat codes. 189 00:08:57,790 --> 00:08:59,010 Oh, shit. Yeah. 190 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,210 Hey, my Bloomberg interview is on! 191 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,450 How did I come up with PiperChat? 192 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:04,610 That's a very good question. 193 00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:07,220 I guess the tech gods were just speaking through me. 194 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:10,650 Somehow, I knew to take the best parts of a service 195 00:09:10,690 --> 00:09:15,160 as substandard and crappy as HooliChat and make it... 196 00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:17,730 How do I put this? 197 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,760 Incredible. 198 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,860 Do you think I have too much product in my hair? 199 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:24,160 No, I think you should use more. 200 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,700 Wait. Are you saying that because you think I look ridiculous 201 00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:30,300 and you want me to look more ridiculous next time? 202 00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:32,440 Which answer will get more of that stuff in your hair? 203 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:33,870 but let's just say... 204 00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:35,210 Wait, wait, wait. Watch this. 205 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,840 This is where I make Emily Chang laugh. 206 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,210 Quite a turnaround for a company 207 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,810 that wasn't exactly soaring. 208 00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:41,410 Oh, it was soaring, Emily... 209 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,320 right into a clogged toilet. 210 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:46,050 And not just like a standard clogged toilet. 211 00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,920 Like, I don't need a plunger. 212 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,190 I need a shovel and a bucket. 213 00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:52,490 But enough about the previous leadership, 214 00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:55,090 which was inept, lame, bitter... 215 00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:57,930 Fuck him. We had a deal. 216 00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:01,400 Thanks. 217 00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:13,910 That's weird. 218 00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:17,310 Hey, Richard. 219 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,220 Have you seen the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition? 220 00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:24,860 The cover model has the most lovely, enigmatic facial expression. 221 00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:27,020 Jared, I... I don't really want to talk about guy talk. 222 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,460 I'm here to tell you that I think Dinesh may be in some serious trouble. 223 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:33,670 Okay, so I was analyzing a bunch of user data, and I noticed... 224 00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:35,670 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Richard. Richard. 225 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:38,940 I told you, I can't talk about this. You have to bifurcate. 226 00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:40,640 No, Jared, listen, you're gonna wanna hear this. 227 00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:43,810 Wait. What do you mean you were looking at user data? 228 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,310 You violated our system? Richard, you were inside us? 229 00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:49,980 Don't tell Dinesh, and don't tell any of the other guys, okay? 230 00:10:50,010 --> 00:10:53,480 "Don't tell Dinesh"? Richard, Dinesh is my CEO. 231 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,590 - Oh, God. - What are you doing to me? 232 00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,950 Did I make you angry? 233 00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,420 I'm trying to save his ass, okay? I'm trying to save you. 234 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,890 Just survey the users... 235 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,890 and make sure you ask how old they are. 236 00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:09,330 Okay? And then, that's it. That's it. That's it. No more. 237 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:14,170 Stupid fucking Jian-Yang and his shitty app. 238 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,540 I don't even know if it is shitty. 239 00:11:15,570 --> 00:11:18,670 Hey, you know, I could probably find out about Jian-Yang's app. 240 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,340 He asked if he could practice-pitch it to me. 241 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:23,280 - Do you have any nines? - Go fish. 242 00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:25,980 Wait. This could be great. What time are you guys doing that? 243 00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,180 - I could listen in. - I don't know. 244 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:31,020 He asked if he could pitch me, and I said sure, 245 00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:34,050 and then he kind of just like kept talking for a while. 246 00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:35,320 Oh. 247 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,160 You don't think that could've been the pitch, do you? 248 00:11:39,130 --> 00:11:40,630 God damn it, what did he say? 249 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:43,460 Geez, I kind of zoned out. 250 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,260 Shit. Fives? 251 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,530 Uh, go fish. 252 00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:50,040 Wait. I don't know if this would be relevant, 253 00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:52,640 but he did say the word "Oculus" a whole bunch. 254 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,270 - Wait. "Oculus"? - Mm-hmm. 255 00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:59,680 Oh, my God. It's a VR play. 256 00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:02,450 That's the frothiest space in the Valley right now. 257 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,850 Nobody understands it, but everybody wants in. 258 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,350 Any idiot can walk into a fucking room, 259 00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:11,190 utter the letters "V" and "R," and VCs will hurl bricks of cash at him. 260 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:14,260 Then by the time they find out that it's vaporware, it's too late. 261 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,800 I have got... to get in on this. 262 00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:28,200 Trust me. Just give me five minutes. There he is. 263 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,110 - Hey! - Wait. Is that our lawyer? 264 00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:34,540 - Hey! - I thought he was in jail. 265 00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:36,580 Hey. Perfect timing. 266 00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:40,120 I just completed the detailing on this Kia. 267 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:43,190 - Come on. - What the fuck is going on? 268 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:46,350 Wait. I don't understand. How did Richard have access to our user data? 269 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,090 Someone must've let him in. 270 00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:51,130 It was you. You're a fucking rat, Jared. 271 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,130 Richard entered us without consent. 272 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,130 In spite of that, he has raised a real issue here. 273 00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:57,800 Fuck this. I'm gonna Uber home. 274 00:12:57,830 --> 00:13:01,170 Mr. Monahan, good luck with this whole work-release situation, 275 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,540 but I have more important things to do. 276 00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:05,170 Mr. Chugtai. 277 00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:10,340 It appears that 33 percent of your users are under the age of 13. 278 00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:12,380 It's also apparent that you have 279 00:13:12,420 --> 00:13:16,480 no parental permission requirements in place. 280 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:20,190 You're going to want to sit down for this. 281 00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:32,730 - Are you familiar with COPPA? - Who? 282 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:36,400 That's the Children's Online Privacy and Protection Act. 283 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,010 This Act establishes strict guidelines 284 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,940 to protect the privacy 285 00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,810 of younger children on the Internet. 286 00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:47,250 You are in gross violation of this act. 287 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:51,080 You know how kids can't have a YouTube or Facebook account 288 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,990 till they're 13? It's because of this. 289 00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:57,890 Yes, but our users are chatting with each other, Jared, 290 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,290 not some old creep. 291 00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:02,130 - No offense. - None taken. 292 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,300 My shame will linger even after my voting rights are restored. 293 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:10,870 Now, are there records of these chats on your server? 294 00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:12,400 Yeah, we store everything. 295 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:16,310 What... Okay. What's going on? How serious is this? 296 00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:19,410 Each violation of COPPA... 297 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:24,150 carries a penalty of $16,000. 298 00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:26,720 So we're fined $16,000? 299 00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:30,090 Oh, no. I hope they take cash. 300 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,520 $16,000 per user. 301 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,690 Not only each user... 302 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,260 each use. 303 00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:46,230 Fifty-one thousand estimated underage users 304 00:14:46,270 --> 00:14:49,840 times an average 25.6 chat sessions per user 305 00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:52,870 times $16,000... 306 00:14:56,710 --> 00:14:59,180 $21 billion? 307 00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,580 I mean, how is that even fucking possible? 308 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,590 I mean, I knew Dinesh was going to fuck this all up, 309 00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:10,290 but honestly, this couldn't get any better. 310 00:15:11,590 --> 00:15:13,390 What's with the shirt? 311 00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:17,230 Oh, he sort of became ill on himself. 312 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,700 I was wrong. This just got better. 313 00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:23,270 This is all your fault, Richard. 314 00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:25,940 This was your company before it was mine. 315 00:15:25,970 --> 00:15:27,370 What are you talking about? 316 00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:29,080 Dinesh, I specifically reminded you 317 00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,280 to port over the terms of service from the platform. 318 00:15:31,310 --> 00:15:34,550 Right, and I asked if you'd done it, and... and you said you had. 319 00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:39,280 Okay. I checked the TOS box when I submitted to the app store, 320 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,590 but then I didn't end up doing it, all right? 321 00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:42,960 And then when we caught fire, 322 00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:44,720 the last thing I wanted to do 323 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,760 was bog our users down with legal bullshit, you know? 324 00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,990 I mean, nobody reads that stuff anyway. 325 00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,730 Well, first of all, everyone reads the terms of service, 326 00:15:52,770 --> 00:15:56,970 and secondly, they would've given us legal cover from exactly this. 327 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,570 Every sound is $16,000. 328 00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:02,640 Fuck! 329 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:03,870 All right, all right. Don't think about that. 330 00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:07,580 Just think about how to solve this massive, massive problem. 331 00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:10,180 Quickly. 332 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:13,620 Quick as you can. Jared! Just... 333 00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:17,550 Wait. We could shut down. 334 00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:21,220 No, no, no. Not when we're this close to signing a term sheet. 335 00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:23,560 And in case all of you gents have forgotten, 336 00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:26,660 I'm on the hook for half a million clambos for this thing. 337 00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:30,200 But we can't stay online! We're just racking up more fines! 338 00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:32,570 Well, technically, this is a corporation. 339 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,400 So whatever they fine you, 340 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,310 they'll really only be able to collect what the company's worth, 341 00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:39,710 which at this point, is basically nothing. 342 00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:42,340 That's right. I'm just the CEO. 343 00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,150 I'm not personally liable. 344 00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:45,480 Although... 345 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,080 Although what? 346 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,950 Well, when you lied to me about adding terms of service, 347 00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:54,160 it could be argued you violated 348 00:16:54,190 --> 00:16:56,560 your fiduciary duty to the company, 349 00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:58,630 rendering you personally liable. 350 00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,730 I mean, if the FTC brought us to trial, 351 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,830 I could be compelled to testify against you. 352 00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:05,130 Jared, I trusted you. 353 00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:07,270 Oh, trust has nothing to do with it, 354 00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:09,500 but thanks for making that official. 355 00:17:10,510 --> 00:17:12,740 So I could be personally liable 356 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:15,610 for $21 billion? 357 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,410 Yeah, most likely. 358 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:20,180 I know, in the fable, Pied Piper led all the children 359 00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,380 into darkness, but now we're doing it. 360 00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:24,620 So, what do you wanna do? 361 00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:28,650 I'm gonna throw up again. 362 00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:30,590 I'm going to watch this. 363 00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:34,760 I want full surveillance on Jack Barker, 24/7. 364 00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:37,460 I don't recommend using conventional listening devices. 365 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,600 He may sweep for those. 366 00:17:38,630 --> 00:17:40,430 I do have a colleague at Facebook that has 367 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,030 a laser microphone. You can point it 368 00:17:42,070 --> 00:17:43,770 at an office window from a mile away 369 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,500 and read the sound vibrations. 370 00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:47,100 I like it. 371 00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:50,170 Hoover, you're the only person I can trust at this goddamn company. 372 00:17:50,210 --> 00:17:52,080 It's good to have a friend. 373 00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:53,280 I understand that, sir. 374 00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:57,080 Ah! Gavin, there you are. 375 00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,680 Oh. I don't want to interrupt your talking with Hoover... 376 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,090 and talking and talking about things, 377 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,990 but I have some concrete news. 378 00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:08,390 - Regarding? - Jack Barker. 379 00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:11,160 By forgoing Western gadgetry, 380 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,830 simply stationing myself in the hall outside of his office, 381 00:18:14,870 --> 00:18:17,270 I was able to overhear him speaking 382 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,940 of his plans to move against you. 383 00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:24,310 He even referred to you as "Gavin... Smellson." 384 00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:27,440 I knew it! Good work, Denpok. 385 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,810 Good work. Let's go slice this bastard in half, huh? 386 00:18:30,850 --> 00:18:33,320 Hold on. We need proof. 387 00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:34,680 Otherwise, he'll just deny it, 388 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,080 and it'll just be a case of he said/she said. 389 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,320 That's a good point. Denpok, who was he talking to? 390 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,390 Oh, um... 391 00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:46,330 Alas, I could not see this from my hidden vantage point. 392 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,730 I'll check the logs and see who was in his office. 393 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,160 No, because... 394 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,170 no one was there. 395 00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:58,100 I'm confused. Was he on the phone? 396 00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:01,140 Yes. Very perceptive. 397 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,200 Easy. I'll just pull up his phone records. 398 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,150 No. 399 00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:06,780 Not the phone phone. 400 00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:09,420 So what was he doing? Was he video chatting? 401 00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:11,880 That's what it was, chela. 402 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,020 Even better. I'll pull up the chat data. 403 00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:16,490 You can do that? 404 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,460 Well, as long as he was on HooliChat, 405 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:23,130 but the bastard kept grinding in my face how much he loved PiperChat. 406 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,400 - What if he was using... - PiperChat. Yes. 407 00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:28,530 - Fuck! - He said the resolution was 408 00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:31,470 so vivid and superior to HooliChat. 409 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:35,270 Ah. Sadly, now we'll never know 410 00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:40,340 the identity of the person with whom he was definitely talking. 411 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,250 - Unless... - Unless what? 412 00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,690 Dinesh? 413 00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:00,360 Hey, man. 414 00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:03,400 How's it going? 415 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:05,900 Bad. 416 00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:08,200 Well, look, I've been there, man. 417 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,070 - No, you haven't. - No, I... I have. 418 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,210 One time when we were pitching at Ross Loma... 419 00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:18,350 I threw up in my pants. 420 00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:21,350 Don't you mean "on"? 421 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:24,990 No. No, I mean... I mean "in." 422 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:30,690 We were pitching and... well, things weren't really going well, 423 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,330 I was getting nervous and... I don't know, 424 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,430 I think I must've eaten something bad that day. 425 00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:37,330 Anyway, my stomach was upside down, so I made a beeline to the stall. 426 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:41,670 But then I pulled down my pants, sat down... 427 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:45,170 but instead of shit, I threw up... into my pants. 428 00:20:48,610 --> 00:20:51,480 Well, I was CEO for 11 days, 429 00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:53,950 and in that time I violated the rights 430 00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:55,950 of 50,000 little girls, 431 00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:58,380 exposed them to sexual predators, 432 00:20:58,420 --> 00:21:02,420 and racked up fines the size of a small nation's GDP. 433 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:07,290 Yeah. I threw up in my pants. 434 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:10,530 Fuck. 435 00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:14,230 What do I do, Richard? 436 00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:17,540 There are no right answers. 437 00:21:17,570 --> 00:21:20,040 You know, when I was CEO... 438 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,540 I found that it was more about choosing 439 00:21:23,580 --> 00:21:26,140 the one wrong answer that you can live with. 440 00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:29,980 I really loved that video chat. 441 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,790 Hello. 442 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,890 This is he. 443 00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:41,530 What? 444 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,990 It's Gavin Belson. 445 00:21:43,030 --> 00:21:45,300 It's Gavin fucking Belson. 446 00:21:45,330 --> 00:21:47,500 Hey, Gavin Belson. 447 00:21:49,130 --> 00:21:51,300 What's up? Oh, my God. 448 00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:53,500 We're crushing it all the time. 449 00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:55,140 I'm in a bathtub. 450 00:21:56,540 --> 00:22:00,910 Yeah, of course. I'd love to. Bye. 451 00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:03,650 He wants to meet me at Josephina's tonight. 452 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,180 Did I say yes? 453 00:22:07,550 --> 00:22:08,650 Holy shit. 454 00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:11,690 Gavin Belson wants to acquire PiperChat. 455 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,920 He made the same call to me back when he wanted 456 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,690 to make an offer for Pied Piper. 457 00:22:15,730 --> 00:22:18,030 He could take this entire shitbomb 458 00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:20,430 off Dinesh's hands? Where's the fun in that? 459 00:22:20,460 --> 00:22:23,630 More importantly, I could get all my money back, maybe even more. 460 00:22:23,670 --> 00:22:25,800 We could 10X this motherfucker, gents. 461 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,870 - Although... - Although what? 462 00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:30,200 Well, I'm sorry to play the Cassandra again, 463 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,640 but Dinesh can't sell Gavin the company. 464 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,170 - Why not? - Why the fuck not? 465 00:22:34,210 --> 00:22:37,610 It's due diligence. Gavin doesn't trust anyone. 466 00:22:37,650 --> 00:22:39,910 When I worked for him, he tried to microchip me. 467 00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:42,380 Before he finalized any acquisition, 468 00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:44,880 his legal team would uncover our malfeasance. 469 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,150 They'd sniff out the user issue immediately. 470 00:22:47,190 --> 00:22:50,120 And they'd probably turn you in, and you do not want that. 471 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,790 I mean, there's also the moral quandary. 472 00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:53,490 Even if he could get away with it, 473 00:22:53,530 --> 00:22:55,960 could Dinesh really sell the company, knowing it's basically 474 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,630 a Sizzler buffet for the sexually deranged? 475 00:22:58,670 --> 00:23:02,700 Of course he could. Because even if there is a one percent chance of success 476 00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:06,070 and a 99 percent chance of failure and prison, 477 00:23:06,110 --> 00:23:10,170 he will do the right thing and get me my money back. 478 00:23:11,710 --> 00:23:14,210 I'm sorry, Erlich. I've made my decision. 479 00:23:14,250 --> 00:23:16,380 I'm gonna say no to Gavin Belson... 480 00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:18,780 shut it down, and just see what happens. 481 00:23:22,260 --> 00:23:25,460 What the fuck, huh? What the fuck? 482 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,060 Jian-Yang! 483 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,940 Hey, Gavin. 484 00:23:38,970 --> 00:23:40,540 - Well... - Dinesh. 485 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,070 Thanks for coming. 486 00:23:45,110 --> 00:23:48,240 Listen, Gavin. I've thought about it, 487 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,780 and if this is about you buying PiperChat... 488 00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:53,120 I didn't come here today to buy your company. 489 00:23:53,150 --> 00:23:54,480 You didn't? 490 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,850 No. I came to take it. 491 00:23:56,890 --> 00:23:58,850 I thought I'd have to buy you out, 492 00:23:58,890 --> 00:24:01,160 and I wanted to know what kind of CEO I'd be dealing with, 493 00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:04,230 so I had my comms people pull your press, 494 00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:06,360 like this interview you did with TechCrunch 495 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,600 where you described PiperChat as, and I quote, 496 00:24:09,630 --> 00:24:11,770 "Exactly like HooliChat, 497 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:15,840 "but without the suck-ass parts," end quote. 498 00:24:15,870 --> 00:24:17,740 Or the one you did with Emily Chang, 499 00:24:17,770 --> 00:24:21,480 where you told her how you took "the best parts of HooliChat 500 00:24:21,510 --> 00:24:24,780 "and made them less crappy." 501 00:24:24,810 --> 00:24:28,350 I was about to throw you a massive acquisition deal, 502 00:24:28,380 --> 00:24:33,850 and then I realized you'd already publicly admitted to stealing my IP. 503 00:24:34,990 --> 00:24:36,420 I hope you have a good lawyer. 504 00:24:36,460 --> 00:24:38,260 He works at the car wash down the street. 505 00:24:38,290 --> 00:24:39,360 What? 506 00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:42,700 Look, Gavin, you do not want to do this. 507 00:24:42,730 --> 00:24:45,370 - I can't explain exactly why. - Shut up. 508 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:49,440 This is not a negotiation. 509 00:24:49,470 --> 00:24:51,700 If you fight me, I will win, 510 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:54,710 and I will fuck you in the tech business forever. 511 00:24:54,740 --> 00:24:56,580 No one will hire you. 512 00:24:56,610 --> 00:24:59,180 I'm taking PiperChat. By 8:00 a.m. tomorrow, 513 00:24:59,210 --> 00:25:01,950 you will hand over to Hooli all your data and systems. 514 00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:04,780 All your users will be converted to HooliChat users. 515 00:25:04,820 --> 00:25:07,090 It will be like PiperChat never existed. 516 00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,590 And what you get out of it is the chance to walk away 517 00:25:09,620 --> 00:25:12,120 and try and get another job in this town. 518 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,360 You have five seconds to decide. 519 00:25:14,390 --> 00:25:16,560 - Five, four... - Okay. 520 00:25:17,830 --> 00:25:19,430 So we're in agreement. 521 00:25:19,470 --> 00:25:22,170 For a 10 percent stake in your current venture, 522 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,740 you will receive full pool privileges, 523 00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:28,940 more room in the crisper, and you may live in my home for... 524 00:25:28,970 --> 00:25:30,470 For free. 525 00:25:30,510 --> 00:25:31,740 for free for six months. 526 00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:34,010 Fuck you. One year. 527 00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:38,450 Fuck! Fine. Fine. 528 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,920 - It's a deal. - Deal. 529 00:25:41,950 --> 00:25:46,690 Jian, I mean, your onerous terms not withstanding, 530 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,660 I'm very excited to be a part of your VR play. 531 00:25:51,860 --> 00:25:54,300 - VR, virtual reality. - Who's doing VR? 532 00:25:54,330 --> 00:25:56,670 You are. That's what Big Head said. 533 00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:58,600 This play has to do with the Oculus, right? 534 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,240 - No. - But he said that you said, "Oculus." 535 00:26:01,270 --> 00:26:04,100 He said you kept saying it. "Oculus, Oculus, Oculus." 536 00:26:04,140 --> 00:26:05,510 Octopus. 537 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,740 No. 538 00:26:10,210 --> 00:26:11,450 No. 539 00:26:13,380 --> 00:26:15,620 - Octopus? - It's a water animal. 540 00:26:15,650 --> 00:26:18,490 I... I know what an octopus is. 541 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:22,260 Just... What does your application have to do with octopus? 542 00:26:22,290 --> 00:26:27,460 Eight different ways to make a Chinese recipe, octopus. 543 00:26:31,070 --> 00:26:34,070 So I just traded one year... 544 00:26:34,100 --> 00:26:36,700 of free rent, full pool privileges, 545 00:26:36,740 --> 00:26:38,340 and more room in the crisper 546 00:26:38,370 --> 00:26:41,940 for an application that is just... 547 00:26:43,180 --> 00:26:46,040 eight recipes for octopus? 548 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:47,810 - Hmm? - Yes. 549 00:26:50,650 --> 00:26:52,120 Hey, guys, they're ready. 550 00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:58,460 Ooh. Ooh. 551 00:26:58,490 --> 00:27:00,020 What the fuck is this? 552 00:27:00,060 --> 00:27:02,430 I went through every chat in his history. 553 00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:04,430 They're all the same. 554 00:27:04,460 --> 00:27:07,800 Perhaps it was another chat format. 555 00:27:07,830 --> 00:27:11,940 Could you acquire Skype or FaceTime and check them as well? 556 00:27:11,970 --> 00:27:12,940 What? 557 00:27:12,970 --> 00:27:15,070 Uh, Gavin, I'm... I'm sorry. 558 00:27:15,110 --> 00:27:18,480 I need to talk to you about this PiperChat acquisition. 559 00:27:18,510 --> 00:27:21,610 I put together a panel of the most active users 560 00:27:21,650 --> 00:27:22,980 you ported over from PiperChat. 561 00:27:23,020 --> 00:27:25,050 Bear in mind, this group is representative 562 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,750 in terms of gender, race 563 00:27:27,790 --> 00:27:30,050 and, most importantly, age. 564 00:27:30,090 --> 00:27:31,850 Now, who else thinks changing 565 00:27:31,890 --> 00:27:34,860 to a HooliChat log-in is hella lame? 566 00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:38,230 Madison, Allison, Jennifer, 567 00:27:38,260 --> 00:27:41,160 Stephanie, Quinn, Ingrid, Kaylee... 568 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,870 - Oh, no. - Amber, Sarah, Janelle... 569 00:27:43,900 --> 00:27:47,540 Carl. Now, Carl... 570 00:27:47,570 --> 00:27:51,270 you said the new sign-in page made you nervous. 571 00:27:51,310 --> 00:27:53,010 Did anyone else feel nervous?