1 00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:09,080 Just think about it. 2 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:12,180 On Saturday, over a quarter-million people 3 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,910 are gonna stream through that building. 4 00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:16,950 A veritable who's who of nobodies. 5 00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:20,390 Richard, we've tried marketing at trade shows. 6 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,660 We suck at it. 7 00:00:21,690 --> 00:00:23,390 No, I'm not talking about that. 8 00:00:25,530 --> 00:00:26,730 Let me ask you this: 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,960 We need 120,000 phones, right? 10 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,430 What is the first thing 11 00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:34,000 people do when they get in there? 12 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,170 Log on to free Wi-Fi. 13 00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:39,840 But Hooli makes you download 14 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,810 the Hoolicon app in order to sign in. 15 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:47,810 So, what if we somehow hack our code onto the app? 16 00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:52,490 Then we will have our 120,000 phones all in one day. 17 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,790 I'm sorry. You're... you're talking about sneaking our code 18 00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:59,330 onto people's phones without them even knowing about it? 19 00:01:00,230 --> 00:01:02,030 I mean, that's malware, Richard. 20 00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:04,160 No. No, no, no. Think of it more as, um, 21 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,870 forced adoption through aggressive guerrilla marketing. 22 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,340 Well, as a product of forced adoption, 23 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:12,200 I can assure you there are consequences. 24 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:13,910 - I like it. - Well, hold on. 25 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,910 Even if we get our code into that app and onto all those phones, 26 00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:20,450 people are just gonna delete the app as soon as the conference is over. 27 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,380 People don't delete apps. 28 00:01:22,420 --> 00:01:24,650 I'm telling you. Get your phones out right now. 29 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:27,150 Uh, Hipstamatic. 30 00:01:27,190 --> 00:01:28,950 Vine, may she rest in peace. 31 00:01:28,990 --> 00:01:32,160 - NipAlert? - McCain/Palin. 32 00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:34,730 All right, this works in theory, 33 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,130 but... penetrating the Hooli servers 34 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,830 to hack their shitty convention app? 35 00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:41,870 We'd need a black hat ninja for this one. 36 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:45,340 I wonder where we can find someone like that. 37 00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:50,470 No. 38 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:53,380 It's so great to see you, Mia. 39 00:01:53,410 --> 00:01:56,550 - How's Pakistan? - It's so great. 40 00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:59,550 I was there for a while, and as I said before, 41 00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,520 I have to go back there right after this 42 00:02:01,550 --> 00:02:03,490 for an extended period of time. 43 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,420 Anyway, how's all this stuff going? 44 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:08,230 You must be, like, dying of boredom. 45 00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:10,730 I am, but the terms of my plea agreement 46 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,700 forbid me to touch a computer or go online, so. 47 00:02:13,730 --> 00:02:15,630 Let me run a hypothetical by you, 48 00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:17,170 just to, like, exercise your brain. 49 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,740 Like, for instance, if I had to hack 50 00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:21,700 the Hooli app servers, mess with an app, 51 00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:24,710 and push it out over a venue's free Wi-Fi... 52 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:25,910 how would I do it? 53 00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:27,340 It's a trick question, right? 54 00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,210 Because you wouldn't hack the app server. 55 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,580 You'd just launch a man-in-the-middle attack with Pineapples. 56 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,720 Google it. Speaking of... 57 00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:39,220 if they even catch me talking about this, 58 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,790 they could send me to maximum security prison, 59 00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:45,230 but I think I found a way to get online. 60 00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:48,300 - No. - There's a computer in the library 61 00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:50,500 that's not supervised on Sundays. 62 00:02:50,540 --> 00:02:54,040 I think if I can pull library duty, I'll be able to sneak on 63 00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:56,770 and track down whoever ratted me out. 64 00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,440 I am going to destroy that motherfucker. 65 00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:04,610 Not if I destroy him first. 66 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:13,990 Excuse me. What's your policy on anonymous tips? 67 00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:22,950 - sync and corrections by Mr. C - - www.addic7ed.com - 68 00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:28,370 Fuck. Wi-Fi Pineapples. It's so obvious. 69 00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:29,380 Not to me. 70 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:32,310 Look, we set up a bunch of these at Hoolicon. 71 00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:36,510 We position ourselves between everyone's devices and the real Wi-Fi. 72 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,810 So, they log onto our boxes 73 00:03:38,850 --> 00:03:41,050 and our boxes log onto the real Wi-Fi? 74 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,950 - Exactly. - So, we show them a fake landing page, 75 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:47,920 and force everyone to download a doctored version of the Hoolicon app. 76 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,560 And they'll never know the difference. 77 00:03:49,590 --> 00:03:52,560 No wonder Mia's in prison. She's brilliant. 78 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,300 - I think this might actually work. - Wrong! 79 00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:56,350 It'll never work. 80 00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:59,400 You don't even know what we've been talking about. 81 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,770 I don't need to, Richard. 82 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,100 The truth is, we've tried and tried. 83 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:05,910 Every time we've gotten a whiff of success, 84 00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:08,980 a giant pelican by the name of Fate 85 00:04:09,010 --> 00:04:12,650 takes a four-and-a-half-pound shit right on top of us. 86 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,620 There are people who are destined for greatness and people who are not. 87 00:04:15,650 --> 00:04:18,220 Richard, it seems you and I... are not. 88 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,320 And so, I've had enough. 89 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,390 I'm ending it all tonight. 90 00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:25,090 Suicide? I have a book for you. 91 00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:28,630 No, Gilf. Last night, when I was sitting out there 92 00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:31,060 by the smoldering husk of my palapa, 93 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:34,000 - so cruelly taken away from me... - You burned it down yourself. 94 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,270 which led me to my epiphany. 95 00:04:38,710 --> 00:04:40,010 This epiphany. 96 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:44,980 "Greetings from Tibet. If you find yourself in Qamdo prefecture, 97 00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:48,450 do drop in. Gavin Belson." 98 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:49,720 That was addressed to me. 99 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:53,550 No, that was addressed to "Richard Hendricks and company." 100 00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:55,350 Company, of which I am a part. 101 00:04:55,390 --> 00:04:57,520 You're not seriously thinking of going to Tibet? 102 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,060 You're broke. How the fuck are you gonna pay for that? 103 00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:03,900 That's where you come in, my great friends. 104 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:06,600 I figured we might pass the hat? 105 00:05:06,630 --> 00:05:08,970 Just give whatever you are comfortable with. 106 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,300 I'll pay for it, whatever it costs. 107 00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:15,270 Well, it seems the smallest of us has the biggest heart. 108 00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:17,210 Thank you, young Jinathon. 109 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,880 - Business class? - Premium economy. 110 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:21,210 You fly one way. 111 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,280 Don't you need a visa to go to China? 112 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,350 Yes. I can call my uncle in Beijing. 113 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:27,920 He's very corrupt. 114 00:05:27,950 --> 00:05:30,420 That sounded... ominous, 115 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:32,360 but, gents, it's as I was saying: 116 00:05:32,390 --> 00:05:34,190 Where there's a will, there's a way... 117 00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:35,760 just not for you guys. 118 00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:41,140 No, I will not help you on this mission. 119 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,030 No? 120 00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:45,040 Richard, we always said we didn't want to end up like Hooli. 121 00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:46,270 How are we like Hooli? 122 00:05:46,310 --> 00:05:49,940 We are trying to give free Internet to the entire world. 123 00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,280 If we have to bend a few rules here and there... 124 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,240 I mean, it's all for the greater good, is it not? 125 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,710 Gavin Belson started out with lofty goals too, 126 00:05:56,750 --> 00:06:00,580 but he just kept excusing immoral behavior just like this, 127 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:05,320 until one day all that was left was a sad man with funny shoes... 128 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:09,930 disgraced, friendless, and engorged with the blood of a youthful charlatan. 129 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,790 I am never going to be... 130 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:13,900 any of that. 131 00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:15,730 Richard, not that long ago, 132 00:06:15,770 --> 00:06:18,900 you agonized over using a stolen log-in 133 00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:20,900 to get into a bake-off with Endframe, 134 00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,940 a company that stole from us. 135 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,240 But now you're, what, shrugging off 136 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,940 large-scale cybercrimes against innocent civilians? 137 00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:31,180 It's a means to an end. It's not who I am. 138 00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:35,150 I mean, Lincoln had to suspend habeas corpus to end the war, 139 00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:37,920 - but he restored it after. - Lincoln? 140 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,120 Richard, it's not that easy. 141 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,990 There's always a next time and a next time and a next time. 142 00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:44,960 I cannot knowingly contribute to your moral decay. 143 00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:51,730 Well, what if you didn't do it... knowingly? 144 00:06:51,770 --> 00:06:55,400 You're always telling me how you spent your entire childhood 145 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,370 pretending that everything going on around you was okay. 146 00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:01,440 - Uncle Jerry's game. - Yeah, that. 147 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,650 Let's play Uncle Jerry's game. 148 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,350 Do you know what you're asking? 149 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,160 Okay, guys, how we looking? 150 00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:18,690 - One second. - Almost done. 151 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,830 All 12 Pineapples tested and packed. 152 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,330 Jared, you can come in now. 153 00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:28,470 All right, all of our swag is in the car, 154 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,170 and I look forward to a successful promotion 155 00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:33,510 of our legitimate space-saving app. 156 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,480 Yup, that's what this is. 157 00:07:35,510 --> 00:07:36,740 Whatever. 158 00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:41,550 Well, now, gentlemen, this is it. Goodbye. 159 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:44,320 Obviously, I don't care to make a big deal out of it, 160 00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:46,590 so I think it's sufficient just to go around 161 00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,760 and each of you say a memory or two 162 00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:51,390 of times where I've profoundly impacted your life. 163 00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:55,220 It doesn't have to be a profound impact. 164 00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:56,430 We're leaving now. 165 00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:58,900 - What? - International flight. 166 00:07:58,930 --> 00:08:00,300 Four hours early. 167 00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:02,200 No, international flights are three hours early. 168 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,000 It's a new rule. 169 00:08:05,740 --> 00:08:07,970 Gentlemen. 170 00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:12,010 Okay, let's have some fun. 171 00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:27,190 First hurdle down. We're past security. 172 00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:29,960 That made me nervous, sneaking all that shit in. 173 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,860 Why? We're bringing tech to a tech convention. 174 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,070 When did Pied Piper get added to the vendor list? 175 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,850 Oh. 176 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,120 That looks like us. 177 00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:56,090 Oh no, that can't be. 178 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,720 No. This is not what I was promised. 179 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,590 - What? It's fine. - But they told me 180 00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:03,360 that we would have prominent placement 181 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,730 with proximity to high-traffic corridor. 182 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,870 We're in the middle of the road here. 183 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,270 - So? - Yeah, who gives a fuck? 184 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,400 Well, Jared does, and... and we do as well. 185 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,940 Uh, you know what? Why don't you go check out 186 00:09:15,980 --> 00:09:17,340 what the bathroom situation's like? 187 00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:20,540 - Yes. Nothing would make me happier. - Good. 188 00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:23,580 You know, I actually believe him. 189 00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:25,480 Okay. 190 00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:28,050 So, gentlemen, 191 00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:31,390 okay, while Jared's gone, let's get our bearings. 192 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,930 All right, so, we are here. 193 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,030 Now, you guys deploy the Pineapples. 194 00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:41,400 Start with high-traffic areas, so that means entrances. 195 00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:43,030 People are setting up equipment everywhere, 196 00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:44,370 so it shouldn't look that unusual, 197 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,600 but be careful, don't get caught, 198 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,240 - and remember why we are here. - Richard? 199 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:51,910 Whoa. Winnie. 200 00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:55,980 - Hey. - Hello. Hi. 201 00:09:56,010 --> 00:09:57,980 Yeah. Oh. 202 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,740 I haven't seen you since... 203 00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:04,690 Since you threw yourself down a flight of stairs 204 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:05,950 to prove how smart you were. 205 00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:09,120 - That whole spaces-tab thing was... - Kind of petty? 206 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,860 Petty? No, I was gonna say "illustrative of our vast differences." 207 00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:14,960 - Right. - What are you doing here? 208 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,530 I'm here helping my friend launch his new company. 209 00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:18,270 Oh. 210 00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:20,370 "My friend." He's actually my boyfriend. 211 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,940 - That's his booth right there. - Oh wow. 212 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,210 He's got a big one... I mean the booth. 213 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,380 But, um, boyfriend, uh-oh. 214 00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:29,880 - Awkward. - Why? 215 00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:34,050 Nothing. It's not. It's actually... it's cool. 216 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,250 Totally cool. Cool beans. 217 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,280 Beans, beans, magical fruit. 218 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,720 The more you eat, the more you... 219 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,690 - Toot? - Toot. 220 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,360 Hey, Joel? Come over and meet Richard. 221 00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:45,860 Oh, not... not needed. 222 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,060 - Joel, Richard. - Not needed. Hey. 223 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,500 Oh. Stairs guy. 224 00:10:50,530 --> 00:10:52,500 Uh, that's quite a booth you got there. 225 00:10:52,530 --> 00:10:54,430 Oh, yes, thank you. We really think 226 00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:56,840 our company's message is worth getting out there. 227 00:10:56,870 --> 00:10:58,240 Yeah, us too. Us too. 228 00:10:58,270 --> 00:11:02,310 Um, we're just trying to be a bit responsible with the spending. 229 00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:04,680 Sure, but when I sold my last company, 230 00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:07,780 I realized I had the luxury to invest in something I believe in. 231 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,450 - Mmm. - Helping humanity thrive. 232 00:11:09,490 --> 00:11:12,590 That's why I decided to bring PeaceFare into the world. 233 00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:14,020 Ah, good for you. 234 00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:16,990 Okay. It was great to meet you, Richard. 235 00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:18,890 Yeah, and you too. 236 00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:21,500 - Good seeing you. - Not if I see you first. 237 00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:26,630 Not that you asked, but you handled that very poorly. 238 00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:38,180 You know, Jian-Yang, the silence in the car gave me some time to think 239 00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:41,450 about the fact that our differences... Jesus! 240 00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:44,020 Sorry. 241 00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:50,190 Jian-Yang! 242 00:11:56,860 --> 00:12:00,630 - Fuck you, fat fuck. - Pineapple two is a go. 243 00:12:00,670 --> 00:12:03,170 Fucking look at him, pictures everywhere. 244 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,800 Fucking bearded baby. 245 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,740 Cost us millions of dollars. 246 00:12:06,770 --> 00:12:08,640 It would make me very happy 247 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:12,740 to pour boiling metal down Keenan Feldspar's asshole. 248 00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:14,280 How would that even work? 249 00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:15,510 Flip and pour. 250 00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:18,320 He's gonna run, and then you're slowly chasing him, 251 00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:20,890 trying to not spill your vat of boiling metal. 252 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,990 - You're gonna look like a fucking idiot. - Fuck you. 253 00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:26,760 - Anybody looking? - No, just go. 254 00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:31,930 What's taking you so long? Hurry up! 255 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:36,500 What are you boys up to? 256 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:42,740 All right? I go through my slides. Click, click, click. 257 00:12:42,780 --> 00:12:44,140 Jamiroquai plays. 258 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:48,450 Now, I would very much like to welcome my good friend, 259 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,510 Keenan Feldspar! 260 00:12:52,550 --> 00:12:55,490 - Where the fuck is he? - Yo. 261 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,650 Son, you're supposed to be coming up from over there. 262 00:12:57,690 --> 00:13:00,460 Totally, I'm just really kind of digging the vibe over on this side. 263 00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,960 - Uh, Terry? - Yeah? 264 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,760 - Kid wants to come from over here. - Okay. 265 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,360 Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment? 266 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,500 This morning, Pied Piper were 267 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,440 a last-minute add to the vendor list, 268 00:13:12,470 --> 00:13:15,610 so I started watching them and noticed some suspicious behavior. 269 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,740 I sent in for our tactical response team, 270 00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,180 and with your permission, I'd like to sweep 271 00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:21,480 the convention floor with Yagi antennas, which are... 272 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,080 - Hoover. - Yes, sir. 273 00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:25,180 Four days ago, I spent $2 billion 274 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:28,320 on a piece-of-shit VR gadget that's never gonna work. 275 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,920 I had to rebuild the entire operating system 276 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,660 just to get a 90-second demo that could play on a phone. 277 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,260 And by the grace of God, I just may have pulled it off. 278 00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:40,160 And now you want to talk to me about Pied fucking Piper? 279 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,100 Sir, I'd like to think that if Gavin Belson were here, we'd make sure... 280 00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:46,640 Gavin fucking Belson is not here 'cause I fired his ass! 281 00:13:46,670 --> 00:13:49,070 Now, look, you go back to your little security room, 282 00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,270 you sit in the corner with a tinfoil hat on, 283 00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:54,010 and I swear, if I hear you wandered down the hallway 284 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:57,180 to take a piss, you are out on your ass. 285 00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:58,480 You got that? 286 00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:01,420 I do, sir. 287 00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:13,160 You know what? This might be a good time for me to hand out some flyers. 288 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,730 Richard, six Pineapples up, six to go. 289 00:14:15,770 --> 00:14:18,030 - Good. - Something wrong? 290 00:14:18,070 --> 00:14:20,300 Yeah, actually. Very wrong. 291 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:23,300 PeaceFare is a game. 292 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,140 - What? - Yeah, look at his website. 293 00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:28,810 Give virtual coins to virtual homeless people. 294 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:33,410 Grow virtual corn to feed virtual starving villages. 295 00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:35,550 What the fuck, right? I mean, he's over there 296 00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:39,050 making all this noise about turning your mobile device into an empathy machine, 297 00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:41,720 - but it's not doing anything. - Fascinating, Richard. 298 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:45,260 Have you heard anything about how Pied fucking Piper is doing? 299 00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:47,460 Yes, our code is in the app, the Pineapples are online, 300 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,530 and we're at 3700 downloads. We're ahead of schedule. 301 00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:52,170 Shit. This could work. 302 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,570 That's awesome. 303 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,140 Yeah, exactly. 304 00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:56,940 We are doing something real. 305 00:14:56,970 --> 00:15:00,270 He is not, but she's with him, 306 00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:03,940 and I'm the petty one. Okay, well, what about the idea 307 00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:07,210 of growing real corn to feed real starving people? 308 00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:09,520 - No. - Yeah, his thing seems way easier. 309 00:15:09,550 --> 00:15:11,280 Yeah, you can do it on your phone in your underwear. 310 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,190 Just... plant the rest of the Pineapples, please. 311 00:15:20,930 --> 00:15:22,860 - Oh! Here he comes, folks. - Oh, thanks. 312 00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:25,800 Richard Hendricks, the Monet of compressionism. 313 00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:27,330 Jared. 314 00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:30,170 Hey, which of the bathrooms is closest? 315 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,170 Uh, end of the row, 78 paces to the right. 316 00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:35,410 Great. 317 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,510 Do you know this is the actual laptop I used to code the app. 318 00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:41,310 Hey, let's take some without my shoes, yeah? Perfect. 319 00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:42,410 Okay. Oh, hey, come. 320 00:15:42,450 --> 00:15:44,950 Yeah, so please start with my toes. 321 00:15:44,990 --> 00:15:46,020 Oh, nice. 322 00:15:46,050 --> 00:15:48,720 Can you... And these are photos of irrigation, 323 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,590 captured in the rain. 324 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:53,020 Yeah, it's gonna look great. 325 00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,230 Yeah, like that. 326 00:15:54,260 --> 00:15:55,690 Poverty and penthos. 327 00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:56,890 That looks so good. 328 00:15:56,930 --> 00:15:58,490 Let's do another one. Go on the other side. 329 00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,060 Yeah. 330 00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:14,710 - Did you do this? - What? What? 331 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,220 Did anyone see someone touch this laptop? 332 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,790 - Hmm? What? - Oh God. 333 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,220 This is very disturbing. 334 00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:25,860 Fuck it. I'm just gonna punch him. 335 00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:28,330 Yeah, right. Have fun in jail, you moron. 336 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,090 - Oh shit. - Oh fuck, it's him. 337 00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:32,400 - What do we do? - Uh, keep moving. 338 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,370 Fuck, do you think he saw us? 339 00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:41,970 Oh, he saw us. 340 00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:43,270 - Fuck. - He saw us see him. 341 00:16:43,310 --> 00:16:47,580 Shit. Wait. What if he thinks we did it on purpose, 342 00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:49,350 like, we snubbed him? 343 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:54,720 Fuck yeah. We just snubbed the fuck out of Keenan Feldspar. 344 00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,990 - Hey, Richard. - Hey. 345 00:16:58,020 --> 00:17:01,820 I'm letting everyone know you might want to reset your critical passwords, 346 00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:03,560 because we've been hacked. 347 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,260 Oh! Uh, why... why would you say that? 348 00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:09,230 Someone changed my PeaceFare screensaver... 349 00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:09,730 Hmm? 350 00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:11,100 and I know it wasn't anyone on my team, 351 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,570 because they all respect me too much. 352 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,270 What did they change it to? If you don't mind me asking, just 'cause... 353 00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:17,370 No, no, I won't dignify it by repeating it. 354 00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:19,510 I'm just saying you should take precautions. 355 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:21,010 Also, Winnie spoke to security, 356 00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:23,210 and they're sending the tactical response team. 357 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,910 The what? 358 00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:27,180 The... Oh, here they are. 359 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:36,820 Oh shit. 360 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:40,400 Bingo. We've got hostiles. 361 00:17:40,430 --> 00:17:44,370 Red team, Sebastian, fan out and sweep the entire venue. 362 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,710 Hey, Richard. Guess who has four thumbs 363 00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:53,710 - and just snubbed Keenan Feldspar. - Us. 364 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,410 Guys, someone called security, now they're doing a sweep of the area. 365 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:56,910 What? 366 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,310 Okay? You've gotta go pull all the Pineapples. 367 00:17:58,350 --> 00:17:59,810 What the fuck? Who ratted us out? 368 00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:02,780 I don't know. Probably we'll never know. It's impossible to tell. 369 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,350 Just go. Go get... get them now. 370 00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:05,820 Go. Just go. Please. 371 00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:10,020 Oh. 372 00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:12,290 - Bingo. - Fuck! 373 00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:13,730 Come on. 374 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,360 Bingo. 375 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,330 Oh crap. We've got to split up. 376 00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:20,700 I'll take the food court. You take the east concourse. 377 00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:22,440 - I want the food court. - Just go! 378 00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:23,670 Fuck. 379 00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:28,440 - Hey, man. - F-f-f-fucking Keenan. 380 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,380 - Hey, I have to go. - Totally. Hey, did you snub me earlier? 381 00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,910 - No. - Yeah, you did. 382 00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:36,650 You know you did. 383 00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:38,690 You made me feel bad. 384 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,520 I like to feel good. Why would you do that to me? 385 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,660 Seriously? 386 00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,190 You fucked us, Keenan. 387 00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:46,990 Richard was gonna take that deal, 388 00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:48,860 and then you pulled it right out from under us. 389 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:52,000 You cost me, personally, a shit-ton of money. 390 00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:55,100 Whoa. Is that what Richard told you? 391 00:19:05,050 --> 00:19:09,010 Hey. So? They got every single one, every single last one. 392 00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:10,350 - Fuck! - I don't want to hear this. 393 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,880 But we gotta be close, right? Like, how many more phones do we need? 394 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,220 I don't know. Close isn't good enough. No, this is binary. 395 00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:16,390 Either we have enough or we don't. 396 00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:18,960 Oh f-f-f-fuck. Okay, I have an idea. 397 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:24,130 So, I've got one Pineapple left. Now, I've rigged some batteries on top of it, 398 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,930 - because we're gonna have to go mobile. - Oh. 399 00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:28,930 We have to try. Okay, I'm going to put this in your backpack. 400 00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:30,200 - Oh no. - No, it's fine. 401 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,140 - I don't want it. I don't want it. - Dinesh, it's fine. 402 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,770 And you, you're gonna hold this kill switch, 403 00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:37,140 and then you're gonna walk into the most densely populated area you can find. 404 00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:39,080 All right? If you see the security coming, 405 00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:40,880 remember, you press that button and, poof, you're gone. 406 00:19:40,910 --> 00:19:41,650 Yeah? Okay. 407 00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:43,850 I'll get as many of those motherfuckers as I can. 408 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,680 We'll be rewarded in the end. 409 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,590 When the fuck were you gonna tell us? 410 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,690 - Tell you what? - You know what, fat sack of shit. 411 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,590 - Richard, do you know what? - No, I don't. 412 00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:54,890 I-I... I don't know what. Dinesh, you need to move. 413 00:19:54,930 --> 00:19:56,880 Well, not until I find out if you know what. 414 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,360 - Go on. - Okay, fine. 415 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:04,600 Fine. I messed with Joel's screensaver, and then he told security, 416 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,200 and now they're the ones pulling up all the Pineapples. 417 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,010 - What the fuck are you talking about? - What are you talking about? 418 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,580 You acted like you wanted to take Keenan Feldspar's offer. 419 00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:16,210 Well, I just ran into him. He said you turned him down. 420 00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:21,580 Well, n... Okay, well... Who are you going to believe, me or him? 421 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,390 Him. He showed me the e-mail you sent him. 422 00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:25,560 Showed you the e-mail? 423 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:27,520 You fucking snake. 424 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,230 Dinesh, you need to move, now. Look, he pulled the deal. 425 00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:33,860 Yeah, but you didn't know that when you sent him the e-mail, did you? 426 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,030 Dinesh, you need to move. I mean, come on. 427 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,170 - You need to go. Go. Go. - Gentlemen. 428 00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:42,270 I'm going to have to see the contents of that backpack. 429 00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:45,310 Um... 430 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:47,540 Bingo. 431 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,740 Huh. 432 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,690 What did you change it to, Richard? 433 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,190 What? 434 00:20:58,220 --> 00:20:59,490 Joel's screensaver. 435 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,390 It doesn't matter now. 436 00:21:02,430 --> 00:21:03,460 No? 437 00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:06,530 PoopFare. 438 00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:10,730 I'm sorry. PoopFare? 439 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,700 Yeah, it was, like, a play on the name. 440 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:17,910 Is it a play on the name? PissFare would be way better. 441 00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:19,640 Or PenisFare. 442 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,880 Or PeaceFart. That's just changing one letter. 443 00:21:22,910 --> 00:21:25,780 Look, he... he turned around. I had, like, a second, okay? 444 00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:27,250 It's the best I could come up with. 445 00:21:29,090 --> 00:21:30,250 PoopFare? 446 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,020 PoopFare? 447 00:21:36,190 --> 00:21:38,490 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 448 00:21:38,530 --> 00:21:40,730 You sacrificed... 449 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,960 everything that we've worked for... 450 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:45,700 for PoopFare? 451 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,770 How was PoopFare... 452 00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:53,110 for the greater good? 453 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,010 It wasn't. 454 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,810 You compared yourself to Abraham Lincoln, Richard. 455 00:21:59,650 --> 00:22:01,310 Can you do me a favor? 456 00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:04,950 Can you say it so I know I'm not hallucinating? 457 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,950 - I just did. - Just... 458 00:22:06,990 --> 00:22:08,350 - Just say it. - say it. 459 00:22:08,390 --> 00:22:11,190 - Jared. - Richard, look me in the eyes! 460 00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:14,990 Look me in the eyes, and you name... 461 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,500 - our undoing! - Hey, come on. Calm down now. 462 00:22:18,530 --> 00:22:22,670 PoopFare! You reckless child. 463 00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:25,570 Gentlemen. Come with me, please. 464 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,240 Sit down. 465 00:22:30,310 --> 00:22:31,580 Well, well, well. 466 00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:33,780 Richard Hendricks. 467 00:22:33,810 --> 00:22:35,650 Sorry, do I know you? 468 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,320 No... but I know all about you. 469 00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:43,360 These Wi-Fi Pineapples... are they yours? 470 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,330 Uh-huh. 471 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:50,360 And this image from the security footage? 472 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:51,660 Smell anything? 473 00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:54,700 These two individuals look familiar to you? 474 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:57,900 Last question. 475 00:22:59,770 --> 00:23:02,070 Do you recognize this? 476 00:23:02,110 --> 00:23:05,280 It's an interview I just found from Code/Rag 477 00:23:05,310 --> 00:23:06,980 from October of this year, 478 00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:11,150 in which you said you and Gavin Belson would, quote, 479 00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:13,320 "put Jack Barker out of a job." 480 00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:15,590 Did you say that, Richard? 481 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,230 You know what? Yes. Yeah. 482 00:23:21,260 --> 00:23:22,360 Yeah, this is me. 483 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,970 Because apparently everything I say or type 484 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,000 gets me into trouble, because I'm a... idiot. 485 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,440 Well now. 486 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:38,980 Tenley! 487 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:42,850 What the hell are these gentlemen doing in my office? 488 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,120 We caught them with Pineapples. 489 00:23:45,150 --> 00:23:48,850 You mean the Pineapples that I hired them to bring to the conference 490 00:23:48,890 --> 00:23:52,560 as part of a covert penetration test of our Wi-Fi security? 491 00:23:52,590 --> 00:23:56,230 - Sorry, we didn't know. - You weren't supposed to. 492 00:23:56,260 --> 00:24:00,330 Now, give these gentlemen their passes and equipment back 493 00:24:00,370 --> 00:24:02,170 and get them back on the floor. 494 00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:07,500 You know, you said some very nice things 495 00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:10,210 about Gavin Belson in that interview. 496 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,440 You could've very easily kicked a good man when he was down. 497 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,550 Good luck with whatever it is you're doing. 498 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:20,980 I'd walk you down myself, but for reasons I really can't get into... 499 00:24:21,950 --> 00:24:23,450 I'm not allowed to leave this room. 500 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:26,790 Okay. 501 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,330 There you are. You never came back to the booth. 502 00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:41,100 You didn't want to see how it all turned out? 503 00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:43,910 I wasn't really in the mood. 504 00:24:43,940 --> 00:24:44,970 Are you playing PeaceFare? 505 00:24:45,010 --> 00:24:49,080 Yeah. I just gave an orphan her first calculator. 506 00:24:49,110 --> 00:24:50,680 Good. Good. 507 00:24:50,710 --> 00:24:53,810 But I've got something much better. 508 00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:57,950 See that number? 509 00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:02,420 That is the number of installs 510 00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:05,030 that we've got from Hoolicon alone. 511 00:25:05,060 --> 00:25:08,030 We have moved all of Melcher's data 512 00:25:08,060 --> 00:25:10,860 onto a network of mobile devices. 513 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:13,730 - We did it. - Do Dinesh and Gilfoyle know? 514 00:25:13,770 --> 00:25:15,440 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they know. 515 00:25:15,470 --> 00:25:17,270 Now that this worked, they like me again. 516 00:25:17,310 --> 00:25:19,810 They're off getting churros to celebrate. 517 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,180 I told them that we would meet them at Barker's keynote, so... 518 00:25:24,150 --> 00:25:25,150 come on. 519 00:25:25,180 --> 00:25:27,310 I mean... 520 00:25:27,350 --> 00:25:32,350 Richard, the fact that you think that success justifies all your behavior... 521 00:25:32,390 --> 00:25:35,020 We were in crisis mode, okay? 522 00:25:35,060 --> 00:25:38,660 And yeah, I lost my head, but crisis averted, 523 00:25:38,690 --> 00:25:42,300 so it's time to reinstate habeas corpus, huh? 524 00:25:42,330 --> 00:25:43,800 Be Honest Abe again. 525 00:25:43,830 --> 00:25:46,100 What about the next crisis, Richard? 526 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,600 Jared, this won't happen again. I swear. 527 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,470 So, let's just enjoy it... 528 00:25:52,510 --> 00:25:54,010 for a minute. 529 00:25:55,140 --> 00:25:56,340 Please. 530 00:26:00,110 --> 00:26:03,150 Come on, give it up! 531 00:26:03,180 --> 00:26:06,750 I love this company! 532 00:26:06,790 --> 00:26:08,650 And how about you? 533 00:26:08,690 --> 00:26:10,420 And how about Jamiroquai? 534 00:26:10,460 --> 00:26:13,960 Ladies and gentlemen, oh, let's have it. 535 00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:17,200 But wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 536 00:26:17,230 --> 00:26:22,870 Wasn't the original title of their chart-topping hit "Virtual Insanity"? 537 00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:25,940 Why is he singing "Virtual Reality"? 538 00:26:25,970 --> 00:26:29,510 You know, I may need a little help 539 00:26:29,540 --> 00:26:30,910 getting to the bottom of this 540 00:26:30,940 --> 00:26:35,080 from my very good friend, Keenan Feldspar! 541 00:26:40,290 --> 00:26:43,850 Oh! There he is! Hey, hey, hey, hey! 542 00:26:43,890 --> 00:26:46,890 You guys ready to see the future? 543 00:26:48,460 --> 00:26:50,730 You know, at the beginning of the presentation, 544 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:55,370 I told all of you to update your HooliPhone OS, right? 545 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,300 Now, I want you to go into "Settings," 546 00:26:57,340 --> 00:27:01,810 and you're gonna find a brand-new toggle labeled "HooliVR." 547 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:02,640 Woo! 548 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,880 You're gonna want to turn that on. 549 00:27:04,910 --> 00:27:06,680 Now, look under your seats. 550 00:27:07,980 --> 00:27:11,210 When you power up your HooliVR goggles, 551 00:27:11,250 --> 00:27:13,950 they will "automagically" pair with your phone. 552 00:27:13,990 --> 00:27:15,390 Put 'em on 553 00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:17,520 and prepare to be amazed! 554 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:21,390 Say hi to that barmaid for me. 555 00:27:21,430 --> 00:27:23,790 Huh? Oh! Ow! 556 00:27:25,330 --> 00:27:27,660 Oh shit! Fuck! 557 00:27:30,870 --> 00:27:32,040 What's going on? 558 00:27:32,070 --> 00:27:36,210 Uh, turn up the lights, please. Something's happening here. 559 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,270 Uh, stay calm. 560 00:27:38,310 --> 00:27:40,640 You don't think this had anything to do with us, do you? 561 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,720 We appear to have a bit of a technical problem. 562 00:27:43,650 --> 00:27:46,450 I'm going to get to the bottom of this right away. 563 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:47,480 Ow! Fuck! 564 00:27:51,790 --> 00:27:54,520 Gelong-la, there is a loud man here to see you. 565 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:55,920 He says you sent for him. 566 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,190 Qamdo in the house! 567 00:27:59,230 --> 00:28:01,300 Whoa! Haircut? 568 00:28:02,470 --> 00:28:04,530 Are you fucking kidding me? 569 00:28:04,570 --> 00:28:05,630 No. 570 00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:08,670 I'm really here.