1 00:00:04,191 --> 00:00:05,628 Alright, let's do an exercise. 2 00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:07,124 You can build anything in the 3 00:00:07,124 --> 00:00:08,340 world you want with your compression. 4 00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:09,754 What's it going to be? Three, two, one, go! 5 00:00:09,754 --> 00:00:12,012 - A new Internet. - What? Why? 6 00:00:14,329 --> 00:00:15,597 I am your lead investor; 7 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,409 - You will respect me as such. - I do not respect you because 8 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,783 you are fat and poor. 9 00:00:20,485 --> 00:00:21,887 So you're telling me that the 10 00:00:21,887 --> 00:00:25,023 perfect application of my algorithm belongs to Gavin 11 00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,143 Fucking Belson. 12 00:00:31,278 --> 00:00:33,585 We need his patent and his funding. 13 00:00:33,628 --> 00:00:35,869 Eventually this will render 14 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,838 - every server obsolete. - Holy shit. 15 00:00:39,756 --> 00:00:41,106 Welcome to the future, Gavin. 16 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:42,774 Whoa. Hold it. 17 00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:45,044 - Oh no! - Son of a bitch! 18 00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:48,147 I have spoken to our top LPs to start a new firm. 19 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,983 Would you care to jump ship with me? 20 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,342 You are, after all, my best friend. 21 00:00:53,629 --> 00:00:54,637 What? 22 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,912 Gavin just fucked off to go 23 00:00:58,912 --> 00:01:01,755 - find himself who knows where. - What is it? 24 00:01:01,780 --> 00:01:04,984 It's the patent. He just signed over full ownership to me. 25 00:01:05,009 --> 00:01:06,771 There is a loud man here to see you. 26 00:01:06,796 --> 00:01:08,509 Kendo in the house. 27 00:01:08,553 --> 00:01:10,687 Are you fucking kidding me? 28 00:01:18,674 --> 00:01:21,572 Welcome home, and congratulations on getting your business back. 29 00:01:21,651 --> 00:01:24,027 Thank you, and I should congratulate you on your breakthrough. 30 00:01:24,076 --> 00:01:26,052 I can help you get where you want to go. 31 00:01:26,077 --> 00:01:28,641 I'm pretty sure I know where I want to go and how to get there. 32 00:01:28,666 --> 00:01:30,667 I shall look forward to the fight. 33 00:01:34,304 --> 00:01:36,473 Jesus! What the hell did he order? 34 00:01:38,409 --> 00:01:40,579 No, no! No, no, no! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! 35 00:01:55,273 --> 00:01:57,573 Oh my God. 36 00:01:57,608 --> 00:01:59,008 These are our new offices? 37 00:01:59,044 --> 00:02:00,743 Yeah. Well, this is just the lobby. 38 00:02:00,779 --> 00:02:03,179 We're up there on the second floor, but yup. 39 00:02:03,214 --> 00:02:04,814 These are so nice. 40 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,549 There's a fireplace. 41 00:02:07,781 --> 00:02:11,587 Oh! I am a sucker for an intuitive kitchen layout. 42 00:02:11,622 --> 00:02:14,256 Follow me, right up here. Trust me, you're gonna love it. 43 00:02:14,292 --> 00:02:16,525 It's hard to believe your pathological inability 44 00:02:16,561 --> 00:02:19,328 to make a decision finally paid off. 45 00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:22,431 Wow. Richard, well done. 46 00:02:23,234 --> 00:02:26,502 Dude! Look at this place, huh? 47 00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:29,137 Oh, I love it. 48 00:02:29,481 --> 00:02:31,083 So, when do these guys move out? 49 00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:32,816 Oh, no, this isn't our space. 50 00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:35,206 Our sublease is straight through here. 51 00:02:36,822 --> 00:02:38,230 Okay. 52 00:02:38,936 --> 00:02:40,286 I welcome you 53 00:02:40,311 --> 00:02:43,114 to Pied Piper's new home. 54 00:02:43,848 --> 00:02:46,058 Huh? 55 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:48,329 Hoo-hoo-hoo! 56 00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:51,601 It's... it's very white. 57 00:02:51,637 --> 00:02:53,670 Yeah, it's minimalist, you know? 58 00:02:53,705 --> 00:02:55,806 Sharp, clean lines. 59 00:02:55,841 --> 00:02:58,575 I was thinking about maybe putting my desk here in this corner. 60 00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:00,911 Jared, you over here, right? 61 00:03:00,946 --> 00:03:03,914 Dinesh, Gilfoyle, maybe up against this wall or over there. 62 00:03:03,949 --> 00:03:06,216 You know, just take a minute, walk around the space, 63 00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,185 see where the mojo takes you. 64 00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:10,087 I mean, we've got some good feng shui in here. 65 00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:12,418 Really good. 66 00:03:14,025 --> 00:03:17,660 Richard, the plan was to hire 15 coders 67 00:03:17,695 --> 00:03:20,696 and some assistants and... and other staff. 68 00:03:20,731 --> 00:03:23,032 Where exactly would we put them? 69 00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:25,149 Easy. Right around here. 70 00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,838 Look, guys... the price 71 00:03:29,007 --> 00:03:31,440 is unbelievable. 72 00:03:31,475 --> 00:03:34,844 I'm just happy that we got to it when we did before anyone else. 73 00:03:34,879 --> 00:03:37,996 I... I emphatically vote that we move on this 74 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,049 now, if we all agree. 75 00:03:40,084 --> 00:03:42,551 I mean, we do agree, right? 76 00:03:44,655 --> 00:03:47,489 I cannot put this delicately, so... 77 00:03:47,525 --> 00:03:49,858 Are you fucking kidding me, dude? 78 00:03:49,893 --> 00:03:51,627 You want us to work in here? 79 00:03:51,662 --> 00:03:54,229 This is a fucking black site, Richard! 80 00:03:54,264 --> 00:03:56,131 A black site would actually be better, 81 00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:59,167 because at least we'd be protected by the Geneva Convention. 82 00:03:59,203 --> 00:04:01,337 This is fucking with my eyes. Can I get outta here? 83 00:04:01,372 --> 00:04:04,506 Okay, ha... hang on. Richard, can I talk to you 84 00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:06,942 - for one second, please, privately? - Sure. 85 00:04:08,446 --> 00:04:10,506 - Ah! - See? Plenty of outlets. 86 00:04:12,282 --> 00:04:14,519 Richard... what are you doing? 87 00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:19,254 We can easily afford a place with windows and... air 88 00:04:19,289 --> 00:04:22,257 where you can maintain a connection to time and space. 89 00:04:22,292 --> 00:04:25,849 If... if we spend all that money, it's gone. 90 00:04:26,196 --> 00:04:28,163 Okay, don't you remember Jack Barker 91 00:04:28,198 --> 00:04:30,365 squandering all our runway for those fancy offices 92 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,801 or Russ Hanneman spending nearly every cent we had on fucking swag? 93 00:04:33,837 --> 00:04:37,005 I'm sorry, man, we do not get another chance. 94 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,240 This is it. 95 00:04:38,275 --> 00:04:39,841 There is no point whispering. 96 00:04:39,877 --> 00:04:43,345 We can hear every fucking word you say in this sweatbox. 97 00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:45,313 I can hear you gulping, Richard. 98 00:04:45,582 --> 00:04:47,583 No, you can't. 99 00:04:48,752 --> 00:04:51,319 Richard, it is my firm opinion 100 00:04:51,355 --> 00:04:53,821 that if we were to take this space, 101 00:04:53,857 --> 00:04:55,823 our new hires wouldn't be coding, 102 00:04:55,859 --> 00:04:57,557 they would be having panic attacks. 103 00:04:57,593 --> 00:05:00,895 No, come on. I'm doing a really good job of hiding it, 104 00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:03,730 but I'm having one right now. 105 00:05:06,435 --> 00:05:08,202 I gotta get the fuck outta here. 106 00:05:08,615 --> 00:05:10,985 - Jared, you okay? - I will not be back. 107 00:05:10,985 --> 00:05:13,874 Wait, guys, hold on. Jared, I'm gonna get you some water, okay? 108 00:05:24,163 --> 00:05:26,163 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 109 00:05:30,225 --> 00:05:32,658 Okay, what about this guy, Chris Berger? 110 00:05:32,693 --> 00:05:34,060 He's a very skilled engineer. 111 00:05:34,095 --> 00:05:37,063 He was very funny when we met with him. I think he'd be great. 112 00:05:37,098 --> 00:05:39,373 He was oddly tall, don't you think? 113 00:05:39,634 --> 00:05:41,234 Yeah, pass. 114 00:05:41,269 --> 00:05:44,370 Alright, what about Blake Kang? 115 00:05:44,658 --> 00:05:46,624 His beard hair looked like head hair. 116 00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:48,935 And his head hair looked like beard hair. 117 00:05:48,935 --> 00:05:51,827 Come on! It's been a fucking month. 118 00:05:52,232 --> 00:05:54,999 I got us these expensive-ass offices 119 00:05:55,034 --> 00:05:58,870 because you wanted them, and now they're just sitting here, empty, 120 00:05:59,229 --> 00:06:01,026 because you guys won't agree on anyone. 121 00:06:01,453 --> 00:06:04,007 Look, I'm going to be seeing Laurie Bream 122 00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:07,241 at this stupid Innovation Hall of Fame event tonight, 123 00:06:07,277 --> 00:06:10,345 and she's gonna ask how hiring is going. 124 00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:13,481 She's 11 months pregnant and highly irritable. 125 00:06:13,516 --> 00:06:14,682 What am I going to tell her? 126 00:06:14,717 --> 00:06:16,717 That we've just been dicking around the whole time? 127 00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:19,187 - We're not dicking around. - Really? 128 00:06:19,697 --> 00:06:20,921 What about this? 129 00:06:20,957 --> 00:06:21,990 Touché. 130 00:06:22,025 --> 00:06:24,993 He sent in a professional headshot. We had no choice. 131 00:06:25,028 --> 00:06:27,064 Plus his face looks like a taint. 132 00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:28,963 Okay, yeah, fair. 133 00:06:28,999 --> 00:06:31,878 But look, I sent you 134 00:06:31,903 --> 00:06:33,634 63 good people. 135 00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:37,304 I spared you kilt guy, openly alt-right guy, 136 00:06:37,339 --> 00:06:38,905 obviously closeted alt-right guy, 137 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,441 and the guy with the stupid fucking pizza app. 138 00:06:41,477 --> 00:06:44,911 It was so lame, it would somehow make you hate pizza. 139 00:06:45,528 --> 00:06:48,182 - You have to choose. - Dude, it's easy for you to say. 140 00:06:48,217 --> 00:06:50,683 You're gonna be off CEO'ing, going to fancy galas. 141 00:06:50,719 --> 00:06:52,303 We're the ones who have to like be 142 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:54,121 in the engine room with these clowns. 143 00:06:54,156 --> 00:06:55,855 They have to meet our rigorous standards. 144 00:06:55,891 --> 00:06:57,757 I mean, look at the three we've already hired. 145 00:06:58,727 --> 00:07:01,328 - Just look at them. - There they are. 146 00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:05,598 Stallions. 147 00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:09,135 Each one more magnificent than the last. 148 00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:10,202 Perfect. 149 00:07:10,238 --> 00:07:12,804 Yeah, they're glorious, obviously, 150 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,241 but that's only three of them, 151 00:07:15,276 --> 00:07:18,411 and they're luxuriating here in this huge fucking palace 152 00:07:18,446 --> 00:07:20,023 that is costing us a fortune, 153 00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,415 so hurry up and pick these fucking coders, 154 00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:25,317 and stop acting like a couple of spoiled millionaires. 155 00:07:25,353 --> 00:07:26,385 Alright, Richard, 156 00:07:26,421 --> 00:07:29,588 your tuxedo is pressed and ready for the gala. 157 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,191 I put a touch of mint in the steamer. 158 00:07:32,226 --> 00:07:35,094 You're gonna look like Richard Gere from "Pretty Woman." 159 00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:38,564 Maybe tonight you'll fall for a radiant sex worker. 160 00:07:42,259 --> 00:07:44,635 During my sabbatical from Hooli, 161 00:07:44,671 --> 00:07:48,173 I toured the wonders of the world, seeking inspiration 162 00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:50,471 from mankind's greatest achievements... 163 00:07:50,697 --> 00:07:53,365 The Parthenon, Angkor Wat, 164 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,566 the Great Pyramid of Giza. 165 00:07:56,157 --> 00:07:58,160 But it wasn't until my flight home 166 00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,575 that I had my epiphany. 167 00:07:59,829 --> 00:08:01,525 Yes, those wonders 168 00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:04,187 are visited by thousands of people every year, 169 00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:08,069 but 2.4 million people 170 00:08:08,104 --> 00:08:10,704 visit HooliSearch every minute. 171 00:08:10,739 --> 00:08:12,206 God, what a fucking douchebag. 172 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,975 And then it occurred to me. 173 00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:17,945 What I have built is a far greater achievement, 174 00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:19,780 than any of the ancient world. 175 00:08:20,162 --> 00:08:22,494 And the ideal version of myself 176 00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:25,231 was the man I already was. 177 00:08:30,569 --> 00:08:31,668 Thank you. 178 00:08:33,705 --> 00:08:35,305 Richard? Richard Hendricks. 179 00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:38,165 - Oh. Huh? Okay. Yeah, hi, Duncan. - Yeah. 180 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,334 Me and my guys were just talking about you and your pizza app. 181 00:08:41,370 --> 00:08:44,204 Oh yeah. I bet. Our algorithm finds you 182 00:08:44,239 --> 00:08:46,707 the cheapest, fastest pizza, and it's... it's awesome. 183 00:08:46,742 --> 00:08:48,752 - Yeah. Definitely. - It's actually so awesome... 184 00:08:48,777 --> 00:08:52,211 That... oh man, I'm gonna... I'm gonna have to pull my resume. 185 00:08:52,641 --> 00:08:55,540 - Oh, you're pulling your... - Oh no. 186 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,673 Yeah, I just don't feel as psyched about it 187 00:08:57,674 --> 00:09:00,407 - as I do about Sliceline. - Sliceline? 188 00:09:00,442 --> 00:09:02,409 That's the name of your app? 189 00:09:02,444 --> 00:09:04,779 - Yeah. - Oh God. 190 00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:06,213 - Great. - Yeah, it's a pun. 191 00:09:06,578 --> 00:09:08,963 - Is it? - Yeah. It rhymes with Priceline. 192 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:13,420 - Okay. Just... so, it rhymes? Okay. - Yeah. It's a rhyming pun. 193 00:09:13,455 --> 00:09:15,099 Anyway, there might be some major 194 00:09:15,124 --> 00:09:17,091 VCs around here, so I gotta go mingle. 195 00:09:17,126 --> 00:09:18,152 Okay. 196 00:09:18,177 --> 00:09:20,492 It's the... it's the worst part of this job. Am I right? 197 00:09:21,263 --> 00:09:23,530 I'm kidding. It's the best part of the job. 198 00:09:25,234 --> 00:09:26,300 Okay. 199 00:09:27,236 --> 00:09:28,535 What an asshole. 200 00:09:30,332 --> 00:09:32,339 - Richard. - Gavin, hello. 201 00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:34,908 Don't you look cute in your Sunday best? 202 00:09:34,943 --> 00:09:37,444 How's that little bunny Internet going? 203 00:09:37,479 --> 00:09:39,542 Mmm. New Internet. New. 204 00:09:39,915 --> 00:09:41,515 Unlike your old Internet. 205 00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:44,484 You know, I'm glad I ran into you, Richard. 206 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,822 I was actually starting to feel bad about what I did today. 207 00:09:47,822 --> 00:09:49,456 Oh? And what was that? 208 00:09:49,491 --> 00:09:51,795 Invent the MOSFET transistor? 209 00:09:52,557 --> 00:09:54,961 It's old technology. It's very old, like you. 210 00:09:54,996 --> 00:09:57,164 No. I've heard that you're trying to staff up. 211 00:09:57,189 --> 00:09:58,364 Over the past few months, 212 00:09:58,399 --> 00:09:59,783 you've met with just about every distributed 213 00:09:59,783 --> 00:10:01,400 systems developer in the Valley. 214 00:10:02,028 --> 00:10:03,436 Okay, well, not everyone. 215 00:10:03,471 --> 00:10:07,073 63 of them, and as of 4:30 p.m. This afternoon, 216 00:10:07,109 --> 00:10:09,308 I hired them, all 63 of them. 217 00:10:09,344 --> 00:10:11,444 Yeah, I had to pay through the nose, but you know what? 218 00:10:11,479 --> 00:10:14,676 That look right there on your face? 219 00:10:15,409 --> 00:10:17,175 It makes it worth every penny. 220 00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:20,028 You know what? Enjoy the reception, Richard. 221 00:10:20,217 --> 00:10:21,317 You too. 222 00:10:22,968 --> 00:10:24,601 Yeah, he wasn't bluffing. 223 00:10:24,636 --> 00:10:26,179 He hired all of them. 224 00:10:26,504 --> 00:10:28,572 Even my boy Blake Kang? 225 00:10:28,773 --> 00:10:30,008 He was a good one. 226 00:10:30,208 --> 00:10:32,190 I'm sorry, uh, your boy? 227 00:10:32,409 --> 00:10:34,210 I thought his hair was backwards? 228 00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:35,898 You guys were lukewarm on him and everybody 229 00:10:35,898 --> 00:10:37,903 else for all kinds of stupid reasons. 230 00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,606 Well, now that they're unavailable, 231 00:10:39,631 --> 00:10:41,770 their strengths are more readily apparent. 232 00:10:42,504 --> 00:10:46,276 And I don't want to point fingers, but we wouldn't be here 233 00:10:46,311 --> 00:10:50,111 if you hadn't let Gilfoyle and me waste so much time being picky. 234 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,649 What? I was dying to move faster. 235 00:10:52,684 --> 00:10:54,517 I was just respecting your process. 236 00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:55,886 Our process sucks. 237 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,242 Your inability to stop us from sucking 238 00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,689 is a failure of leadership. 239 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,604 At least we still have the stallions. 240 00:11:02,018 --> 00:11:03,850 Ah. Those stallions. 241 00:11:03,995 --> 00:11:06,996 Look at 'em. Magnificent. 242 00:11:07,031 --> 00:11:10,120 Sit back down. Just sit in your chairs. 243 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,567 Jared, um... 244 00:11:12,725 --> 00:11:15,435 call alt-right guy and cologne boy 245 00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:16,995 and all the other rejects, 246 00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:18,562 and... set meetings. 247 00:11:18,598 --> 00:11:21,732 Well, I did a little digging on the alt-right guy, 248 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:25,536 and he's pretty involved in a campaign to eliminate black emojis, 249 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,576 but there might be another option. 250 00:11:28,909 --> 00:11:30,809 Do you remember Kira Pickford? 251 00:11:30,844 --> 00:11:34,378 Yes, actually. Yeah, good coder, but she had her own company. 252 00:11:34,414 --> 00:11:37,447 Well, that's true, except that her company, Optimoji, 253 00:11:37,482 --> 00:11:39,116 just lost their second round of funding, 254 00:11:39,151 --> 00:11:40,784 so they're basically on life support. 255 00:11:41,088 --> 00:11:42,174 So? 256 00:11:42,199 --> 00:11:45,923 So, what if, instead of building a team, we acquired one? 257 00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:48,992 But Optimoji has 30 people. We only need 12. 258 00:11:49,028 --> 00:11:51,995 Well, we'll just insist that she let the other 18 go. 259 00:11:52,031 --> 00:11:55,866 We have a lot of leverage. Richard is a shrewd negotiator, 260 00:11:55,901 --> 00:11:58,403 and I'm, you know, spirited. 261 00:12:00,172 --> 00:12:03,182 Look, Kira, this is a fair offer. 262 00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:05,909 But... I've got 30 great guys. 263 00:12:06,213 --> 00:12:07,739 We're like family, 264 00:12:07,764 --> 00:12:10,815 and you only wanna bring along 12? 265 00:12:11,584 --> 00:12:13,417 I have to do what's right by my guys. 266 00:12:13,452 --> 00:12:16,061 Look, I know what it's like to only be able 267 00:12:16,086 --> 00:12:17,721 to rescue half your family, 268 00:12:17,721 --> 00:12:20,157 - and it's awful, but what can you do? - Shh, shh. 269 00:12:20,192 --> 00:12:21,925 - Sometimes there's only one... - Jared, okay, stop. 270 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,229 Um, look, Kira, you're not gonna find a better deal than that. 271 00:12:25,264 --> 00:12:27,764 Your company is close to bankruptcy 272 00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:29,685 and we all know that there are a lotta 273 00:12:29,710 --> 00:12:31,496 coders out there in this old town, 274 00:12:31,903 --> 00:12:34,432 and we could go to any of 'em, 275 00:12:34,432 --> 00:12:37,268 but we wanna go to you, so... 276 00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:41,771 kinda feels like we've got all the cards here, huh? 277 00:12:41,806 --> 00:12:44,140 Richard. You keep following me, 278 00:12:44,175 --> 00:12:45,339 I'm gonna call the cops. 279 00:12:45,375 --> 00:12:46,674 - I'm just kidding. - Oh. 280 00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:48,877 - Hey, I'm Duncan. - Hey. Kira. 281 00:12:48,912 --> 00:12:52,228 Hey, guess what company just got his Series "A" Term Sheet? Huh? 282 00:12:53,616 --> 00:12:56,517 Oh, the Sliceline. 283 00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:57,528 Congrats, yeah. 284 00:12:57,553 --> 00:12:59,654 Yeah, we're staffing up like crazy. 285 00:12:59,689 --> 00:13:02,490 Speaking of staffing, how about all those coders you lost, man? 286 00:13:02,526 --> 00:13:04,557 I'm sorry. That must've been a real blow. 287 00:13:05,295 --> 00:13:06,827 What coders? 288 00:13:06,863 --> 00:13:09,830 Um, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but this is boring. 289 00:13:09,866 --> 00:13:11,466 Thank God I didn't accept your offer. 290 00:13:11,501 --> 00:13:12,833 I'd be the only guy working for you 291 00:13:12,869 --> 00:13:14,269 now that Gavin Belson swooped in 292 00:13:14,304 --> 00:13:15,836 and tactically mass-hired every single 293 00:13:15,872 --> 00:13:17,939 distributed systems engineer you were looking at. 294 00:13:17,974 --> 00:13:19,940 Gavin hired all of Richard's coders? 295 00:13:19,975 --> 00:13:21,415 Not everyone. Not everyone. 296 00:13:21,415 --> 00:13:23,686 Yup. The guy is savage, 297 00:13:23,687 --> 00:13:26,188 and so are my guys if they don't get their caffeine, 298 00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:29,371 so nice meeting you, Kira. Cool. Cool, cool. 299 00:13:32,582 --> 00:13:34,449 What were you saying about holding all the cards? 300 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,950 All of my coders or none of them. 301 00:13:36,986 --> 00:13:38,080 Take it or leave it. 302 00:13:44,576 --> 00:13:45,742 What? 303 00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:48,585 What the fuck? 304 00:13:49,506 --> 00:13:51,107 - Do you have... - Do you... 305 00:13:51,411 --> 00:13:53,310 Jian-Yang! 306 00:13:54,325 --> 00:13:57,247 Jian-Yang... would you please explain 307 00:13:57,282 --> 00:14:00,831 why we each found some random Chinese guy asleep in our beds? 308 00:14:01,677 --> 00:14:03,920 Yes, you work all day. 309 00:14:03,955 --> 00:14:07,460 Your rooms are always empty, so they use. 310 00:14:08,331 --> 00:14:11,781 - The fuck they do. - Yes, it's not your house. 311 00:14:11,963 --> 00:14:14,464 This is not your house either, Jian-Yang. 312 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:15,937 This is Erlich's house. 313 00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:18,935 Do you think Erlich would want your guys here? 314 00:14:18,970 --> 00:14:22,422 No. That's why I invite them, because I hate Errich. 315 00:14:22,422 --> 00:14:23,765 We are not Erlich. 316 00:14:23,790 --> 00:14:26,676 You are from Errich's administration. 317 00:14:26,711 --> 00:14:29,746 No, we are not. Nobody has heard from Erlich in months. 318 00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:33,716 This isn't working. I'm gonna drag your cousin the fuck outta my lair. 319 00:14:33,752 --> 00:14:35,347 No, this is my cousin. 320 00:14:39,798 --> 00:14:41,724 Engineers, welcome. 321 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,799 You are 63 of the top distributed 322 00:14:43,824 --> 00:14:45,962 systems developers in the Valley, 323 00:14:45,997 --> 00:14:47,897 and we're looking forward to working with you. 324 00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:51,480 Hooli is the future, and your future is... 325 00:14:54,338 --> 00:14:56,072 the Box Two. 326 00:14:58,655 --> 00:15:00,822 So, are there any questions? 327 00:15:04,926 --> 00:15:06,052 Yes? 328 00:15:06,317 --> 00:15:08,956 I'm sorry, but what if we don't wanna work on that? 329 00:15:10,163 --> 00:15:12,588 Weird. This is our flagship product, 330 00:15:12,623 --> 00:15:15,291 but I'm sure we'd all like to hear what you would like to work on. 331 00:15:15,326 --> 00:15:17,146 A decentralized Internet, like we were 332 00:15:17,171 --> 00:15:19,061 going to build with Richard Hendricks. 333 00:15:19,097 --> 00:15:22,213 Actually, that's the one thing we can't do here at Hooli. 334 00:15:22,323 --> 00:15:23,433 Yes? 335 00:15:23,698 --> 00:15:27,469 Sorry. You only hired us because Pied Piper wanted us, right? 336 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:29,044 Untrue. Go on. 337 00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:30,573 And Pied Piper only wanted us 338 00:15:30,608 --> 00:15:33,709 because of our ability to help build a decentralized Internet. 339 00:15:33,744 --> 00:15:35,232 Can't speak to that. Continue. 340 00:15:35,445 --> 00:15:37,712 And you're telling us that even if we want to, 341 00:15:37,747 --> 00:15:39,998 we can't build a decentralized Internet here. 342 00:15:39,998 --> 00:15:41,249 May I ask why not? 343 00:15:41,922 --> 00:15:44,252 Because Richard owns the patent for it. 344 00:15:45,788 --> 00:15:47,288 Yes, third row, red hoodie. 345 00:15:47,324 --> 00:15:49,582 - How did he get it? - I gave it to him. 346 00:15:52,054 --> 00:15:54,355 - You in the back? - Why did you do that? 347 00:15:54,914 --> 00:15:57,798 It was a Buddhist act of selflessness. 348 00:15:58,528 --> 00:16:01,564 Well, I'm also a Buddhist, and I would never give him the patent. 349 00:16:01,564 --> 00:16:03,620 I mean, once he builds that Internet, 350 00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:05,963 he's gonna render Hooli's entire web-based 351 00:16:05,988 --> 00:16:07,675 ecosystem completely obsolete. 352 00:16:08,124 --> 00:16:10,686 I mean, everything you're doing here is antiquated. 353 00:16:12,427 --> 00:16:14,138 That's not a question. That's a statement. 354 00:16:14,563 --> 00:16:15,671 You know what? 355 00:16:16,533 --> 00:16:19,366 Fuck you guys. I don't want you working on my box. 356 00:16:19,401 --> 00:16:21,234 It's too good for you. "Antiquated"? 357 00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:23,670 Why did you all take my money then, you entitled little pricks? 358 00:16:23,705 --> 00:16:25,438 You all think you're John Lennon 359 00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:27,450 until someone waves a dollar in your face! 360 00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:29,075 You know what? Get outta here! 361 00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:32,369 Go on, just wander the campus for four years until you vest. 362 00:16:32,369 --> 00:16:33,762 See what I care. 363 00:16:34,011 --> 00:16:36,812 I'm serious! Go! Goodbye! Thank you very much! 364 00:16:38,816 --> 00:16:41,691 Assholes. "Antiquated"? 365 00:16:41,986 --> 00:16:43,337 Fuck do they think they are? 366 00:16:43,362 --> 00:16:45,628 I'm in the Innovation Hall of Fame. Are they? 367 00:16:45,813 --> 00:16:49,099 Speaking of, they sent over the official inductees portrait. 368 00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:51,594 You and your peers. Handsome bunch. 369 00:16:55,402 --> 00:16:56,435 Fuck. 370 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,749 Fuck! 371 00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:07,237 - So, Mr. Yang... - It's Mr. Jian. 372 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,579 In China, last name comes first. 373 00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:14,778 Okay. Mr. Jian, you say that Erlich 374 00:17:14,803 --> 00:17:16,261 Bachman wrote this letter... 375 00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:19,204 - to you? - Yes. 376 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,203 "This is Erlich. Hello. 377 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:26,205 "I am gone, but Jian-Yang 378 00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:29,088 is a very good friend and very smart. 379 00:17:29,702 --> 00:17:33,139 "I want him to be the leader of the house 380 00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:36,132 "and control all of the friends. 381 00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:39,696 Goodbye. Bachman Erlich." 382 00:17:41,535 --> 00:17:44,543 Yes. I want his house. 383 00:17:44,943 --> 00:17:45,866 Thank you. 384 00:17:45,891 --> 00:17:48,881 Okay, I don't technically represent Mr. Bachman. 385 00:17:49,227 --> 00:17:51,641 I'm Pied Piper's corporate counsel, 386 00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,817 so my exposure to Bachman pertains only 387 00:17:53,842 --> 00:17:55,795 to his 10% ownership of the business. 388 00:17:56,734 --> 00:17:59,150 Errich owns 10% of Pied Piper? 389 00:18:00,075 --> 00:18:01,635 This was not a lie? 390 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,614 Sadly, no, that's very, very real. 391 00:18:05,286 --> 00:18:07,829 That's worth a lot of money. 392 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:11,456 It's promising tech. One day it could be worth a shit-ton. 393 00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:15,838 Shit-ton. Yes. 394 00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:19,454 Mr. Jian, you seem like a good guy. 395 00:18:19,803 --> 00:18:23,392 Um, this letter is not a legal document. 396 00:18:23,392 --> 00:18:26,760 I mean, maybe a skilled attorney could make a case 397 00:18:26,795 --> 00:18:28,994 that in the absence of an existing will, 398 00:18:29,029 --> 00:18:31,397 this would serve as one in the case of Bachman's death, 399 00:18:31,432 --> 00:18:33,907 but as far as I can tell, the guy is not... 400 00:18:33,932 --> 00:18:34,857 Dead. 401 00:18:36,003 --> 00:18:39,235 Yes. Errich is dead. 402 00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:44,777 Do you happen to have... a death certificate 403 00:18:44,812 --> 00:18:48,210 - or any... any form of proof of... - Yes. 404 00:18:49,252 --> 00:18:50,618 I can get it now. 405 00:18:54,722 --> 00:18:57,456 Our deal with Kira is for 30 fucking coders. 406 00:18:57,492 --> 00:18:58,624 Where in the hell are we gonna put them? 407 00:18:58,660 --> 00:19:02,360 Well, I suppose we could put three more workstations here, 408 00:19:02,396 --> 00:19:03,995 and then two more over there. 409 00:19:04,030 --> 00:19:05,730 It'd be crowded but cozy. 410 00:19:05,766 --> 00:19:08,433 They'll be all holed up together like the Branch Davidians. 411 00:19:08,657 --> 00:19:12,569 Yeah, but, I mean, are we sure this is the right thing to do? 412 00:19:12,606 --> 00:19:14,606 I mean, I don't want to crowd the stallions. 413 00:19:15,103 --> 00:19:18,447 Are we sure taking on all 30 of Kira's guys is the right move? 414 00:19:18,447 --> 00:19:20,513 We can get up and running. They all know each other, 415 00:19:20,549 --> 00:19:22,182 so we won't have to play the name game. 416 00:19:22,217 --> 00:19:23,627 Yeah. 417 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,567 - Ron, hello. - Hey, buddy. Hang on just a second. 418 00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:34,003 No, the... the exit is... The exit is the other way. 419 00:19:34,038 --> 00:19:35,239 God damn it. 420 00:19:35,264 --> 00:19:38,841 Um, Richie, you know a guy named "Jee-Ann"? 421 00:19:38,876 --> 00:19:39,987 Jan? Uh, no. 422 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,343 Well, I know a "Jan the Man," but she's a woman. 423 00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:46,816 Look, did you... did you talk to the Optimoji board yet? 424 00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:48,818 Uh, did we close the deal? 425 00:19:48,853 --> 00:19:50,988 Uh, well, a deal closed. 426 00:19:51,013 --> 00:19:52,888 Another bidder came in with a better offer, 427 00:19:52,924 --> 00:19:54,656 - so they went with them. - What? 428 00:19:54,692 --> 00:19:56,625 Was it Gavin fucking Belson again? 429 00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:58,707 No, it was a new company. 430 00:19:58,996 --> 00:20:01,063 Real smart, clever name. 431 00:20:01,098 --> 00:20:03,332 Sort of a pun that rhymes. 432 00:20:10,748 --> 00:20:12,507 Oh, hello, dickheads. 433 00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:14,609 I hope I'm not interrupting your plotting, 434 00:20:14,645 --> 00:20:16,778 you sneaky little dinks. 435 00:20:16,814 --> 00:20:19,448 Kira, you and I had a deal, okay? 436 00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:22,818 So fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you! 437 00:20:22,853 --> 00:20:24,881 What did he say? 438 00:20:25,422 --> 00:20:27,789 Not you. Just e... everyone. 439 00:20:27,825 --> 00:20:29,758 I meant fuck all of you. No one specific. 440 00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:31,984 - Richard, you low-balled me. - Mmm? 441 00:20:32,009 --> 00:20:35,732 Remember? Well, Duncan here said he wanted to grow fast as balls. 442 00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:38,132 - He said he was psyched. - Yeah, I am psyched. 443 00:20:38,168 --> 00:20:39,401 I'd hire a million people if I could. 444 00:20:39,436 --> 00:20:42,371 See, if I have to sell my company, I might as well sell it 445 00:20:42,406 --> 00:20:45,205 to the CEO who actually wants all of us. 446 00:20:45,241 --> 00:20:46,674 It's pizza, Kira. 447 00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:50,310 Richard, we're just three CEOs trying to do right by our companies. 448 00:20:50,346 --> 00:20:52,847 Okay, you know what? I'm glad you turned us down, 449 00:20:52,882 --> 00:20:54,648 because I don't want to work with anyone 450 00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:57,579 who wants to work with this... meathead. 451 00:21:00,923 --> 00:21:04,135 I'm taking these. I'm taking all of them. 452 00:21:06,295 --> 00:21:08,775 Maybe just take one. You have like four employees. 453 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:09,811 Ha! 454 00:21:16,305 --> 00:21:17,470 Ah, shit. 455 00:21:18,607 --> 00:21:19,738 Throw it away. 456 00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:23,475 Patrice, I'd like to welcome you back to the Hooli family. 457 00:21:23,475 --> 00:21:25,745 It's wonderful to be back, Gavin. 458 00:21:25,781 --> 00:21:28,382 Sadly, the timing couldn't be worse. 459 00:21:28,777 --> 00:21:32,011 Those code-monkeys I just hired were right about one thing: 460 00:21:32,046 --> 00:21:35,299 Making Jack's box the flagship product of this company 461 00:21:35,299 --> 00:21:37,867 will send us down a path to technological irrelevance 462 00:21:37,867 --> 00:21:39,466 from which we will never return. 463 00:21:39,502 --> 00:21:42,036 But in light of the time and resources 464 00:21:42,071 --> 00:21:43,604 we've invested in this product, 465 00:21:43,837 --> 00:21:45,737 convincing the board and our shareholders 466 00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:47,799 to simply scrap it will be nearly impossible. 467 00:21:47,799 --> 00:21:50,709 Our company is too big to turn around that quickly. 468 00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:54,178 Gavin, what if you launched a new product to help us correct course? 469 00:21:54,214 --> 00:21:55,830 Absolutely. Look at all the products 470 00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,717 you've brought to market over the years. 471 00:21:57,995 --> 00:21:59,852 Hmm. True. 472 00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:03,086 I did invent the HooliPod and the HooliPad 473 00:22:03,111 --> 00:22:04,723 and the HooliPad Pro, 474 00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:08,604 but a man only has so many game-changing inventions in him. 475 00:22:08,841 --> 00:22:12,476 And technically, all the products he just named were money-losers. 476 00:22:12,512 --> 00:22:14,446 I mean, you could argue we'd have been better off 477 00:22:14,481 --> 00:22:16,822 if he'd never invented any of that stuff. 478 00:22:20,386 --> 00:22:21,586 - Hoover. - Sir. 479 00:22:25,733 --> 00:22:28,305 Patrice, can I talk to you outside for a second? 480 00:22:31,598 --> 00:22:35,394 Anyway, if Jack Barker's insidious box is allowed to go to market, 481 00:22:35,419 --> 00:22:36,934 we may all lose our jobs. 482 00:22:36,970 --> 00:22:38,336 We may all go the way of Patrice. 483 00:22:38,371 --> 00:22:41,505 But we must fight it. We cannot sacrifice 484 00:22:41,540 --> 00:22:43,995 our long-term wellbeing in the interest 485 00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:46,010 of paltry, short-term profits. 486 00:22:46,045 --> 00:22:48,079 Well, they're not paltry, exactly. 487 00:22:48,114 --> 00:22:50,848 Did you not see the preorder figures for the Box Two? 488 00:22:50,883 --> 00:22:52,398 They came in this morning. 489 00:22:54,669 --> 00:22:56,020 Holy shit. 490 00:22:57,357 --> 00:23:00,090 Are these right? How many quarters is this? 491 00:23:00,125 --> 00:23:02,325 Just one. The Box Two will be by far 492 00:23:02,361 --> 00:23:04,495 the most lucrative new product we've ever released. 493 00:23:06,832 --> 00:23:08,064 Fucking Sliceline. 494 00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:11,434 Plus his fancy, hi-tech pizza tastes just like Domino's. 495 00:23:11,470 --> 00:23:14,471 There's a reason for that. Check out the liner. 496 00:23:14,507 --> 00:23:17,273 Oh yeah. I guess that's Domino's. 497 00:23:17,309 --> 00:23:19,109 We never had pizza 'cause my step-mom said 498 00:23:19,144 --> 00:23:20,999 Italians aren't real white people. 499 00:23:21,647 --> 00:23:24,648 Hold on. Duncan doesn't even make his own pizza? 500 00:23:24,683 --> 00:23:26,583 He just orders it from Domino's 501 00:23:26,619 --> 00:23:28,184 and switches the boxes? 502 00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:29,887 He really is sneaky. 503 00:23:29,922 --> 00:23:32,932 It's not sneaky. It's stupid. 504 00:23:33,257 --> 00:23:35,625 Switching boxes costs a lot of money. 505 00:23:35,660 --> 00:23:37,894 Okay. How do you know? 506 00:23:37,929 --> 00:23:39,968 I need to prove Errich's dead, 507 00:23:40,264 --> 00:23:43,733 so I want to ship a dead body from China, 508 00:23:43,768 --> 00:23:47,302 but it's hard to find a white body in China, 509 00:23:47,338 --> 00:23:49,839 especially fat like Errich, 510 00:23:49,874 --> 00:23:53,623 so I buy a fat, white cadaver 511 00:23:53,912 --> 00:23:55,912 from Cincinnati medical school. 512 00:23:56,157 --> 00:23:59,853 But to ship to China, then switch box, 513 00:24:00,018 --> 00:24:03,019 then ship back, it's way too much money. 514 00:24:04,658 --> 00:24:05,790 Say that again. 515 00:24:06,123 --> 00:24:08,723 Like, not one word of that made sense. 516 00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:12,994 Hold on. Just... ju... What... uh... 517 00:24:13,030 --> 00:24:16,595 does anyone... does anyone know the price of a Domino's pizza? 518 00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:18,267 A large, 10 bucks. 519 00:24:18,302 --> 00:24:21,436 Okay, well, Sliceline sells theirs for nine. 520 00:24:21,909 --> 00:24:25,885 - So? - So, we're not fucked yet. 521 00:24:27,011 --> 00:24:29,744 That was kinda crazy, Richard. That was... 522 00:24:29,780 --> 00:24:33,081 I mean, you threw a full-on tantrum. 523 00:24:33,117 --> 00:24:34,582 I know, I know. I am so sorry. 524 00:24:34,618 --> 00:24:38,220 It's just... I guess I'm just a CEO trying to do right by my company. 525 00:24:38,255 --> 00:24:39,762 Like you guys. 526 00:24:40,223 --> 00:24:42,490 Speaking of business, wow, we're having a hell of a night. 527 00:24:42,526 --> 00:24:43,725 Yeah, well, I would know. 528 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,128 About 500 of those orders tonight are me. 529 00:24:47,524 --> 00:24:49,597 Oh. Richard, you really didn't have to do that. 530 00:24:49,633 --> 00:24:52,600 But the peace offering is super appreciated. 531 00:24:52,636 --> 00:24:55,662 Yeah, well, I wouldn't really call it a peace offering. 532 00:24:55,939 --> 00:24:59,140 You see, Duncan, you took eight mil in funding, right? 533 00:24:59,382 --> 00:25:02,187 And then you matched my offer to acquire 534 00:25:02,212 --> 00:25:04,010 Optimoji here from Kira, 535 00:25:04,047 --> 00:25:06,714 but the thing is, you can't sell your pizzas 536 00:25:06,750 --> 00:25:09,617 for nine bucks a pop without taking a bath, can you? 537 00:25:09,980 --> 00:25:12,960 The reboxing, the double delivery, ugh. 538 00:25:13,189 --> 00:25:15,656 You lose, what, four bucks an order? 539 00:25:15,691 --> 00:25:17,129 Five, actually. 540 00:25:18,627 --> 00:25:21,028 - We're losing five bucks a pizza? - Yeah. 541 00:25:21,064 --> 00:25:23,564 Only temporarily. So, her team is gonna optimize 542 00:25:23,599 --> 00:25:27,034 our order routing and allocation, and then we'll be cash-flow positive. 543 00:25:27,070 --> 00:25:28,469 We can easily turn it around 544 00:25:28,504 --> 00:25:30,004 - before we run out of money. - Right. 545 00:25:30,039 --> 00:25:32,440 - Yeah. - Unless a lot of people 546 00:25:32,475 --> 00:25:34,708 buy your pizza very quickly. 547 00:25:37,113 --> 00:25:38,312 What are... What are you doing? 548 00:25:38,348 --> 00:25:40,881 Well, Duncan, I can be a dickhead too. 549 00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:43,650 You see, I have $13 million in my bank account 550 00:25:43,686 --> 00:25:46,832 and a very low payroll, which affords me 551 00:25:46,857 --> 00:25:48,955 to buy a lot of tasty 'za 552 00:25:48,991 --> 00:25:51,286 before you can turn it around. 553 00:25:52,446 --> 00:25:53,726 You're trying to bankrupt us? 554 00:25:53,761 --> 00:25:56,796 No, Kira. I'm simply trying to devalue your company, 555 00:25:56,831 --> 00:25:59,323 so that I can make a low-ball acquisition offer 556 00:25:59,667 --> 00:26:00,967 which you cannot refuse. 557 00:26:01,003 --> 00:26:03,503 Richard, I'm just gonna delete your account. 558 00:26:03,716 --> 00:26:05,582 You see, my engineers already thought of that, 559 00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:07,773 and they worked up a little botnet program. 560 00:26:07,809 --> 00:26:11,044 Thousands of fake users indistinguishable from real ones 561 00:26:11,079 --> 00:26:13,779 geolocated perfectly to maximize drive time 562 00:26:13,815 --> 00:26:16,682 and bleed your little greasebag operation dry. 563 00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:19,452 You know, I may not have that many coders, 564 00:26:19,488 --> 00:26:22,154 but the ones I do are stallions, 565 00:26:22,667 --> 00:26:25,613 each one more magnificent than the last. 566 00:26:29,031 --> 00:26:32,876 You spent $19,000 on pizza? 567 00:26:32,911 --> 00:26:35,228 No, $19,000 on vengeance. 568 00:26:35,228 --> 00:26:38,697 You're acquiring Sliceline who already acquired Optimoji? 569 00:26:38,935 --> 00:26:42,033 Richard, you're talking about absorbing a staff of 50. 570 00:26:42,069 --> 00:26:43,602 How are you gonna spin this to Laurie? 571 00:26:43,637 --> 00:26:45,336 Well, you said you'd protect me from Laurie. 572 00:26:45,371 --> 00:26:47,538 I mean, she's your partner. Are you afraid of her? 573 00:26:47,865 --> 00:26:49,007 Of course I'm afraid of her. 574 00:26:49,042 --> 00:26:50,842 The woman got pregnant just to prove to me 575 00:26:50,877 --> 00:26:53,044 that she could do it without missing a day of work. 576 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,546 Okay, fair enough, but maybe this one time you could take my side. 577 00:26:55,582 --> 00:26:57,748 I cannot take your side. You're asking for 50 employees. 578 00:26:57,783 --> 00:26:59,683 - Think of the... - Sorry I am late. 579 00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:02,386 Hey, Laurie. Did you, uh... 580 00:27:02,422 --> 00:27:04,755 Induce? Yes, this morning... 581 00:27:05,492 --> 00:27:06,757 and here I am. 582 00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:09,428 So, Richard, 583 00:27:09,428 --> 00:27:10,894 I received your email. 584 00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:14,365 I understand you wish to acquire a company called... 585 00:27:14,576 --> 00:27:15,867 Sliceline, 586 00:27:15,868 --> 00:27:19,737 which themselves recently acquired a company called Optimoji. 587 00:27:19,772 --> 00:27:23,207 Yes, and I will be firing both companies' CEOs 588 00:27:23,243 --> 00:27:26,081 and taking on a total engineering team of about, 589 00:27:26,106 --> 00:27:27,568 uh, 50. 590 00:27:28,007 --> 00:27:29,113 Fifty? 591 00:27:30,183 --> 00:27:33,321 Monica, you are okay with this? 592 00:27:33,752 --> 00:27:37,487 Well, it shortens their runway significantly, 593 00:27:37,523 --> 00:27:40,023 but you did say that you want them to grow, Laurie. 594 00:27:40,058 --> 00:27:43,059 Yes, but in this case it seems... 595 00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:44,829 reckless. 596 00:27:45,531 --> 00:27:48,532 However, if you are on top of it, 597 00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:49,903 Monica, then... 598 00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:52,905 approved. 599 00:27:53,305 --> 00:27:54,671 Congratulations. 600 00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:57,822 Great. Thanks. And congratulations to you too. 601 00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:00,544 On? 602 00:28:01,713 --> 00:28:04,113 On the... on your... On your baby. 603 00:28:04,149 --> 00:28:05,182 Oh. 604 00:28:11,703 --> 00:28:14,423 This is awesome. Gavin is essentially doubling-down 605 00:28:14,458 --> 00:28:16,392 on the very thing we are destroying. 606 00:28:16,427 --> 00:28:17,727 It's like he's giving up. 607 00:28:17,762 --> 00:28:19,796 Maybe I should've ordered the nicer Tesla. 608 00:28:23,193 --> 00:28:24,200 Ah. 609 00:28:24,632 --> 00:28:26,560 Oh gosh. Everyone's here. 610 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,293 Richard. So many people. 611 00:28:28,328 --> 00:28:29,394 Richard. 612 00:28:30,129 --> 00:28:31,857 Hey. Hey. 613 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,300 I thought you'd want to give some opening remarks, 614 00:28:35,335 --> 00:28:37,035 you know, it being the first day and all, 615 00:28:37,071 --> 00:28:38,603 just to set the tone. 616 00:28:39,939 --> 00:28:42,474 Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Hendricks! 617 00:28:51,618 --> 00:28:53,384 Um... 618 00:28:53,747 --> 00:28:55,420 Um... 619 00:28:55,787 --> 00:28:58,290 Well, it's great to have everybody 620 00:28:58,528 --> 00:29:02,412 and... so many... f... faces. 621 00:29:03,769 --> 00:29:05,661 We've got a lot of... 622 00:29:06,638 --> 00:29:08,163 men and women here. 623 00:29:09,869 --> 00:29:10,868 And... 624 00:29:13,606 --> 00:29:14,904 we should remember that. 625 00:29:17,136 --> 00:29:19,169 So, let's keep it clean. 626 00:29:19,834 --> 00:29:21,578 Um... 627 00:29:21,914 --> 00:29:23,850 it's always a challenge... 628 00:29:23,850 --> 00:29:25,817 to get it... 629 00:29:25,852 --> 00:29:29,287 I've got... I should probably... more to say in a minute. 630 00:29:29,323 --> 00:29:31,489 I just have to go, one... One second, in my office... 631 00:29:32,196 --> 00:29:34,463 and then we'll conclude. 632 00:29:35,627 --> 00:29:38,994 Uh, he just needs a second in his office, then he's gonna come back. 633 00:29:43,306 --> 00:29:44,449 Oh God. 634 00:29:45,028 --> 00:29:47,503 Don't tell anyone, okay? 635 00:29:47,929 --> 00:29:51,163 Um, Richard, I know... I know money's tight, 636 00:29:51,198 --> 00:29:54,133 but I think I might invest in a modesty panel for your desk. 637 00:29:54,535 --> 00:29:55,640 What? 638 00:30:03,933 --> 00:30:06,609 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com