1 00:00:00,452 --> 00:00:04,322 I sent you 63 good people. You have to choose. 2 00:00:04,749 --> 00:00:06,389 They have to meet our rigorous standards. 3 00:00:06,483 --> 00:00:08,442 I mean, look at the three we've already hired. 4 00:00:09,123 --> 00:00:10,244 Stallions. 5 00:00:11,826 --> 00:00:13,290 Hooli is the future, 6 00:00:13,315 --> 00:00:16,353 and your future is the Box 2. 7 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:17,873 Are there any questions? 8 00:00:17,873 --> 00:00:20,040 Everything you're doing here is antiquated. 9 00:00:20,574 --> 00:00:22,876 Fuck you guys. Get outta here. 10 00:00:22,978 --> 00:00:26,345 You wish to acquire a company called Sliceline? 11 00:00:26,447 --> 00:00:29,870 I will be taking on a total engineering team of about 50. 12 00:00:30,075 --> 00:00:31,171 Uh... 13 00:00:35,957 --> 00:00:37,163 Don't tell anyone, okay? 14 00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,231 Uh... 15 00:00:47,817 --> 00:00:49,584 My Tesla finally came. 16 00:00:50,687 --> 00:00:52,553 Was that a wise purchase? 17 00:00:52,589 --> 00:00:53,754 Considering Richard just 18 00:00:53,789 --> 00:00:57,425 obliterated Pied Piper's runway hiring all those coders? 19 00:00:57,460 --> 00:00:59,247 I ordered it a month ago. 20 00:00:59,729 --> 00:01:01,883 But still, it's an investment. 21 00:01:02,326 --> 00:01:03,558 As I understand, 22 00:01:03,594 --> 00:01:05,259 cars depreciate 10 percent 23 00:01:05,294 --> 00:01:06,661 as soon as they fall off the truck. 24 00:01:07,787 --> 00:01:08,880 Like that. 25 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,992 So if the car costs $100, 26 00:01:12,551 --> 00:01:14,306 well you just lost $10. 27 00:01:14,553 --> 00:01:16,486 Did it cost $100? 28 00:01:17,829 --> 00:01:18,855 Or more? 29 00:01:19,229 --> 00:01:20,514 It's not about the money. 30 00:01:20,822 --> 00:01:23,448 I, my friend, am now part 31 00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:25,274 of the green revolution. 32 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:26,575 Are you? 33 00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:27,976 Most electricity still comes from 34 00:01:28,011 --> 00:01:30,111 gas plants and coal-burning smoke stacks. 35 00:01:30,147 --> 00:01:32,658 Do you know where your electricity comes from? 36 00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:34,749 - No. - Mm-hmm. 37 00:01:36,153 --> 00:01:37,716 Look how shiny it is. 38 00:01:38,354 --> 00:01:40,018 Plus, it has a frunk... 39 00:01:40,157 --> 00:01:41,389 A front trunk. 40 00:01:41,424 --> 00:01:43,537 Here, hop in, let me give you a ride to work. 41 00:01:49,929 --> 00:01:51,006 Dinesh, 42 00:01:51,735 --> 00:01:52,701 you like this? 43 00:01:53,702 --> 00:01:55,738 Jesus fucking Christ! 44 00:01:56,172 --> 00:01:58,626 - Is that a dead pig? - Yes. 45 00:01:58,774 --> 00:02:00,382 It's just like Errich. 46 00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:02,510 My corrupt uncle 47 00:02:02,545 --> 00:02:04,312 sent a death certificate 48 00:02:04,449 --> 00:02:05,545 from China 49 00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:08,449 but to send body is too expensive. 50 00:02:08,894 --> 00:02:09,962 So... 51 00:02:10,219 --> 00:02:11,936 I cremate a pig 52 00:02:12,179 --> 00:02:15,413 because a pig is most like a fat human. 53 00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:17,983 I gotta get to work. 54 00:02:18,952 --> 00:02:19,885 Dinesh... 55 00:02:20,777 --> 00:02:22,969 can you take pig to backyard? 56 00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:24,404 I need to burn it. 57 00:02:24,637 --> 00:02:25,558 No. 58 00:02:33,615 --> 00:02:34,681 That's odd. 59 00:02:34,881 --> 00:02:36,146 You left before me. 60 00:02:36,182 --> 00:02:38,249 How was I able to park before you? 61 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:39,984 I guess all 50 of the new employees 62 00:02:40,019 --> 00:02:41,419 decided to show up bright and early 63 00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:43,355 for the fucking all-hands meeting. 64 00:02:43,589 --> 00:02:45,302 I had to park on level five. 65 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,457 Huh! So unlike you, 66 00:02:47,492 --> 00:02:48,758 the world understands 67 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,493 that I'm saving the planet 68 00:02:50,529 --> 00:02:52,129 and has rewarded me with... 69 00:02:52,164 --> 00:02:53,926 primo spot. 70 00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:55,498 Congratulations. 71 00:02:55,534 --> 00:02:57,334 You've finally taken your rightful spot 72 00:02:57,369 --> 00:02:58,879 amongst the handicapped. 73 00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:11,028 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 74 00:03:13,017 --> 00:03:14,183 Is it broken? 75 00:03:15,019 --> 00:03:17,053 Uh, no. I think I'm okay. 76 00:03:17,088 --> 00:03:19,688 One question, what the fuck happened? 77 00:03:19,724 --> 00:03:22,258 'Cause... you were doing your speech 78 00:03:22,293 --> 00:03:24,227 right there in front of the whole company, 79 00:03:24,262 --> 00:03:25,394 and then... 80 00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:27,463 Wow. 81 00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:28,611 Well... 82 00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:31,467 uh, my speech was going poorly. 83 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,634 - Agreed. - Yeah. 84 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,269 And I started to panic. 85 00:03:34,304 --> 00:03:35,337 With good reason. 86 00:03:35,373 --> 00:03:36,593 And then... 87 00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:38,691 all of a sudden, I... 88 00:03:38,909 --> 00:03:40,442 I thought I had to shit my pants, okay? 89 00:03:40,478 --> 00:03:41,977 And that's why you jumped 90 00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:44,369 face first into a glass wall? 91 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:46,314 No, it all happened so fast, 92 00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:48,984 but... essentially, I thought, 93 00:03:49,019 --> 00:03:51,452 if it was gonna happen, I didn't want to be standing. 94 00:03:51,588 --> 00:03:53,654 So, I crouched, because... 95 00:03:53,690 --> 00:03:54,847 If you wanna shit yourself, 96 00:03:54,872 --> 00:03:56,558 you'd rather be crouching than standing? 97 00:03:57,406 --> 00:03:58,793 Yes. I mean, if you had to. 98 00:03:59,661 --> 00:04:02,140 I hate to say this, but I follow you. 99 00:04:02,165 --> 00:04:05,133 The thing is, when I crouched, I had to burp. 100 00:04:05,168 --> 00:04:07,601 But since I was all, you know, tucked up, 101 00:04:07,970 --> 00:04:09,136 I actually vomited a little. 102 00:04:09,171 --> 00:04:12,840 And then, that's when my fight-or-flight reflex kicked in. 103 00:04:13,304 --> 00:04:15,168 Do you ever fight? 104 00:04:15,168 --> 00:04:19,168 Okay, fine, then my "or flight" reflex kicked in and I just... 105 00:04:20,075 --> 00:04:21,808 - Pow. - Yeah. 106 00:04:21,843 --> 00:04:25,296 Okay. Well, what we saw was a very oily man 107 00:04:25,335 --> 00:04:27,268 in mid-sentence dip down, 108 00:04:27,304 --> 00:04:30,871 vomit, and then thrust himself violently 109 00:04:30,907 --> 00:04:33,437 face first into a glass wall. 110 00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,576 But I guess it's a lot less embarrassing 111 00:04:35,611 --> 00:04:36,961 the way you explain it. 112 00:04:37,073 --> 00:04:39,083 Richard, what about... 113 00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:40,887 Did you evacuate in your pants? 114 00:04:40,887 --> 00:04:42,319 Oh, no, uh, good news. 115 00:04:42,355 --> 00:04:44,455 I think what happened when I hit the glass, 116 00:04:44,491 --> 00:04:45,890 I sort of shocked myself. 117 00:04:45,925 --> 00:04:47,091 Now, I don't have to. 118 00:04:47,126 --> 00:04:48,559 That's actually kind of disappointing, 119 00:04:48,595 --> 00:04:51,143 because, like, no closure. 120 00:04:51,364 --> 00:04:53,464 Well, on the bright side, it'll be that much easier 121 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,447 to get you cleaned up and back out there. 122 00:04:55,472 --> 00:04:58,598 What? I have you scheduled for three more days of orientation. 123 00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,198 No way. Cancel them. 124 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,666 There's no way I'm going back out there. 125 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,835 Especially after knowing what they saw. 126 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,637 No, fuck it. Plus, I'm... I'm way too busy, so. 127 00:05:06,948 --> 00:05:09,225 Gentlemen, could we have the room please? 128 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,924 - So we can leave? - Sweet. 129 00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:14,751 Richard, look out there. 130 00:05:14,786 --> 00:05:17,828 There's Optimoji and Sliceline t-shirts left and right. 131 00:05:17,828 --> 00:05:21,096 These are conquered soldiers still in their old uniforms. 132 00:05:21,131 --> 00:05:23,666 But we need everyone here to be Pied Pipers. 133 00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:25,634 I mean, you're asking them 134 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:28,203 to spend the primes of their lives on your vision. 135 00:05:28,238 --> 00:05:30,539 Right? And you need to go out there and lead them. 136 00:05:30,574 --> 00:05:32,640 They're... they're yearning for inspiration. 137 00:05:32,676 --> 00:05:34,186 I can't do inspiration. 138 00:05:34,611 --> 00:05:35,611 I'm a coder. 139 00:05:36,113 --> 00:05:37,712 Look there, the new Internet. 140 00:05:37,747 --> 00:05:39,214 That's inspiration. Use that. 141 00:05:39,249 --> 00:05:41,004 Richard, this is all an idea. 142 00:05:41,185 --> 00:05:42,551 And people don't wanna follow an idea, 143 00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:44,186 they wanna follow a leader. 144 00:05:44,221 --> 00:05:46,454 Look at the last guy to create a new Internet. 145 00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:47,760 Al Gore. 146 00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:49,130 His ideas were excellent, 147 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:51,931 but he talked like a narcoleptic plantation owner, 148 00:05:51,966 --> 00:05:54,133 so he lost the presidency to a fake cowboy 149 00:05:54,169 --> 00:05:55,735 and now he makes apocalypse porn. 150 00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:58,037 Look, the point is, you need to lead with passion. 151 00:05:58,073 --> 00:05:59,305 When you set your mind to it, 152 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:01,772 you're one of the most charismatic people I've ever met. 153 00:06:01,772 --> 00:06:03,306 And I have met Ira Glass. 154 00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:05,600 I know it's three days we could be working, 155 00:06:05,902 --> 00:06:09,067 but ultimately, a unified team will save us time in the end. 156 00:06:09,171 --> 00:06:10,450 You wanna save time? 157 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,594 If you wanna save time, here's what you do. 158 00:06:12,974 --> 00:06:15,208 You said it yourself, okay, the Optimoji guys 159 00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:17,210 and the Sliceline guys are separate, 160 00:06:17,245 --> 00:06:18,677 with their own separate histories, 161 00:06:18,713 --> 00:06:20,479 their own separate shorthands, 162 00:06:20,515 --> 00:06:21,647 so let's use that. 163 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,916 Let's give the scheduler to the Optimoji guys, 164 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,318 and the server-less runtime to the Sliceline guys. 165 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,865 Then we have Dinesh and Gilfoyle and 166 00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:29,588 the Stallions, they do the integration. 167 00:06:29,624 --> 00:06:31,356 Boom, we're off and running. How about that? 168 00:06:31,727 --> 00:06:34,792 That way, no one has to shit or burp or puke 169 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,777 or get a nosebleed in front of anyone. 170 00:06:37,562 --> 00:06:40,263 As for the bezel design, our young aesthete, Dang, 171 00:06:40,298 --> 00:06:41,864 has once again spun gold. 172 00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:42,987 Let's see it. 173 00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:49,339 Wait, my signature's not on it? 174 00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:53,347 How could it be the Gavin Belson Signature Box III 175 00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:54,847 without Gavin Belson's signature on it? 176 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:58,017 Well, the word "signature" has a handwritten feel to it. 177 00:06:58,052 --> 00:06:59,941 Why is my signature not on this? 178 00:07:01,085 --> 00:07:04,651 Gavin, there was a slight issue with your signature. 179 00:07:04,714 --> 00:07:05,889 What issue? 180 00:07:05,923 --> 00:07:07,556 Do you have a mock-up? Pull it up. 181 00:07:08,879 --> 00:07:10,844 Ah, yes! There. 182 00:07:12,152 --> 00:07:13,584 What's wrong with that? 183 00:07:13,831 --> 00:07:17,632 Well, reactions to this from our testing groups were mixed, 184 00:07:17,668 --> 00:07:20,544 so we contacted a handwriting expert. 185 00:07:20,998 --> 00:07:22,462 And, uh, well... 186 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,466 Jean, do you have the report? 187 00:07:24,502 --> 00:07:25,534 Absolutely. 188 00:07:25,569 --> 00:07:28,036 Pleasure to be on your team, Gavin. Here it is. 189 00:07:28,071 --> 00:07:30,238 "The signature displayed troubling traits. 190 00:07:30,273 --> 00:07:31,707 "Left of upright slant, 191 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,242 "narrow angles, tense strokes, 192 00:07:34,277 --> 00:07:37,445 conclusively indicative of sociopathic tendencies." 193 00:07:37,481 --> 00:07:38,981 - What? - "Characterized by 194 00:07:39,016 --> 00:07:40,970 "a lack of empathy and need to dominate, 195 00:07:40,995 --> 00:07:43,784 "a willingness to hurt others to achieve one's goals. 196 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:45,487 Inability to accept bad news..." 197 00:07:45,522 --> 00:07:46,587 - Hoover? - Sir? 198 00:07:46,623 --> 00:07:49,595 Get this horrible woman the fuck out of my office, now. 199 00:07:57,834 --> 00:07:59,133 What the fuck is that? 200 00:07:59,168 --> 00:08:00,501 It's the cheapest thing I could find 201 00:08:00,537 --> 00:08:02,369 that qualified as an electric vehicle. 202 00:08:02,405 --> 00:08:03,938 I found it on Craigslist. 203 00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:06,234 Now you get to park on the fifth floor. 204 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,335 Enjoy the drive. 205 00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:08,919 Oh, and you were right... 206 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,114 it does feel good to be a part of the green revolution. 207 00:08:12,642 --> 00:08:16,458 Oh, yeah? Well, does that "vehicle" have "Insane Mode"? 208 00:08:16,493 --> 00:08:17,859 One press of a button 209 00:08:17,894 --> 00:08:21,249 and I go zero to 60 in 3.2... 210 00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:24,592 What a day. 211 00:08:24,626 --> 00:08:27,127 See, we'd still be finishing up orientation, 212 00:08:27,162 --> 00:08:29,929 singing Kumbayas and doing trust falls. 213 00:08:29,964 --> 00:08:31,097 But instead, 214 00:08:31,132 --> 00:08:34,433 both our Optimoji and Sliceline teams 215 00:08:34,468 --> 00:08:38,293 have gone through their first code review. 216 00:08:39,136 --> 00:08:41,707 Well, to be fair, I never would've scheduled trust falls. 217 00:08:41,743 --> 00:08:44,110 I mean, you do one of those, you're so jacked up on adrenaline, 218 00:08:44,145 --> 00:08:45,971 the rest of the day is basically shot. 219 00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:49,149 We were gonna have a noncompetitive talent show with no losers. 220 00:08:49,183 --> 00:08:50,222 Not possible. 221 00:08:50,247 --> 00:08:52,515 Dick, I just got in and checked the commits. 222 00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:55,050 Are you aware that the Sliceline guys 223 00:08:55,085 --> 00:08:57,052 have been encoding time in nanoseconds, 224 00:08:57,087 --> 00:08:58,287 as we usually do, 225 00:08:58,323 --> 00:09:01,685 but the Optimoji guys have been using milliseconds? 226 00:09:02,552 --> 00:09:03,558 What? 227 00:09:03,593 --> 00:09:05,427 Just the fact that we're still calling them 228 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,529 Sliceline guys and Optimoji guys 229 00:09:07,564 --> 00:09:09,198 is sending up all sorts of red flags. 230 00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:10,866 And I don't even mean the word "guys," 231 00:09:10,901 --> 00:09:12,500 which I just learned is a micro-aggression. 232 00:09:12,536 --> 00:09:14,632 It's fine, "guys." 233 00:09:15,045 --> 00:09:16,845 I will get them to re-factor their code. 234 00:09:17,475 --> 00:09:19,381 We're still ahead of where we'd be 235 00:09:19,416 --> 00:09:21,182 if we were doing some kind of talent show. 236 00:09:21,217 --> 00:09:24,319 Richard? Gilfoyle parked his electric pile of trash 237 00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:25,920 in my Tesla's spot. 238 00:09:25,955 --> 00:09:27,155 Do you think that's fair? 239 00:09:27,645 --> 00:09:28,623 Not now, Dinesh. 240 00:09:28,659 --> 00:09:30,458 Why can't you guys switch to milliseconds? 241 00:09:30,494 --> 00:09:31,559 Why do we have to change? 242 00:09:31,595 --> 00:09:35,029 Sorry, well, our entire code base uses nanoseconds. 243 00:09:35,064 --> 00:09:38,132 And you didn't think it was important to tell us this? 244 00:09:38,168 --> 00:09:39,667 No, well, I mean, it was... 245 00:09:39,702 --> 00:09:43,029 It was part of the orientation that was scheduled, 246 00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:44,169 which had to be, 247 00:09:44,505 --> 00:09:46,439 for numerous reasons, uh, canceled. 248 00:09:46,831 --> 00:09:49,424 And I'm sorry about that, I know it sucks. 249 00:09:49,634 --> 00:09:51,819 If I could make it suck less, I would, but... 250 00:09:51,819 --> 00:09:53,919 You could get some decent coffee in here. 251 00:09:53,955 --> 00:09:55,476 What? What's wrong with... 252 00:09:55,476 --> 00:09:57,743 Philz Coffee? That's high-end Joe, bro. 253 00:09:57,778 --> 00:10:00,579 At Optimoji, we had Stumptown brought in every day. 254 00:10:01,682 --> 00:10:04,116 So that would inspire you? Different coffee? 255 00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:05,083 Inspire us? 256 00:10:05,119 --> 00:10:06,385 You know what? Bup, bup, bup! 257 00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:07,945 Stumptown it is. You got it. 258 00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:10,388 And you'll tell your guys about the nanoseconds? 259 00:10:10,423 --> 00:10:11,957 Yeah. Unless you wanna 260 00:10:11,992 --> 00:10:13,859 get up in front of everyone and announce it yourself. 261 00:10:13,894 --> 00:10:15,227 No, no, no, I'd rather you... 262 00:10:15,262 --> 00:10:16,427 That was a joke. 263 00:10:16,463 --> 00:10:17,729 Your speech was a disaster. 264 00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:19,898 Oh. Yeah. 265 00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:24,169 You know. Yeah. 266 00:10:24,204 --> 00:10:25,336 It was really bad. 267 00:10:25,372 --> 00:10:26,443 I know. 268 00:10:27,374 --> 00:10:30,541 Okay, Mr. Jian, you have petitioned this court 269 00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:32,009 to become the sole executor 270 00:10:32,044 --> 00:10:34,883 of the estate of Erlich Bachman, is that correct? 271 00:10:35,232 --> 00:10:36,147 Yes. 272 00:10:36,182 --> 00:10:38,263 I see you've got all the paperwork, here. 273 00:10:38,662 --> 00:10:41,630 Yes. Errich Bachman is dead. 274 00:10:43,389 --> 00:10:44,855 Oh! Um... 275 00:10:44,891 --> 00:10:46,791 Mr. Jian, there's absolutely no need 276 00:10:46,826 --> 00:10:49,126 to display the deceased remains. 277 00:10:49,162 --> 00:10:50,928 You can put that away. 278 00:10:52,298 --> 00:10:53,530 - I have it. - Yes. 279 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:54,932 Please put it down. 280 00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:01,021 Errich Bachman is cremated... 281 00:11:01,774 --> 00:11:03,139 into ashes. 282 00:11:04,510 --> 00:11:06,042 And I put it in bucket. 283 00:11:06,077 --> 00:11:08,591 Put it down, sir. 284 00:11:12,651 --> 00:11:14,017 Now, have you determined 285 00:11:14,052 --> 00:11:15,651 to a reasonable degree of certainty 286 00:11:15,687 --> 00:11:18,221 that Mr. Bachman has no living next of kin? 287 00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:20,656 No wife, children, parents, 288 00:11:20,692 --> 00:11:21,925 no brothers, sisters, 289 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,426 nieces, nephews, grandparents, 290 00:11:23,461 --> 00:11:25,028 children from a predeceased spouse 291 00:11:25,063 --> 00:11:26,196 or domestic partnership? 292 00:11:27,075 --> 00:11:28,174 No. 293 00:11:28,366 --> 00:11:29,665 He died alone. 294 00:11:30,668 --> 00:11:32,368 He's a very sad man. 295 00:11:32,403 --> 00:11:34,015 So, I have a... 296 00:11:34,372 --> 00:11:36,739 a house and a 10% Pied Piper. 297 00:11:36,774 --> 00:11:39,608 In the absence of any next of kin, 298 00:11:39,644 --> 00:11:42,445 I will approve you as the sole beneficiary 299 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,247 and the official executor of Mr. Bachman's estate. 300 00:11:45,282 --> 00:11:48,317 But, before you can distribute any of his assets 301 00:11:48,352 --> 00:11:49,818 into your personal possession, 302 00:11:49,854 --> 00:11:53,313 you are required to settle all claims against the estate. 303 00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:54,689 Do you understand? 304 00:11:55,993 --> 00:11:58,593 So I get a house and a 10% Pied Piper? 305 00:11:58,628 --> 00:12:01,629 You need to pay all of his outstanding bills. 306 00:12:02,507 --> 00:12:04,233 How much do I have to pay? 307 00:12:04,268 --> 00:12:07,669 Well, these debts can sometimes be substantial. 308 00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:09,838 Would you characterize Mr. Bachman 309 00:12:09,873 --> 00:12:12,039 as a financially responsible man? 310 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,210 Hey, Sliceline guys, what's up? Heh. 311 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:21,627 So... 312 00:12:22,085 --> 00:12:24,227 wanted to talk to you guys about something. 313 00:12:24,854 --> 00:12:25,854 Past couple days, 314 00:12:25,889 --> 00:12:29,090 the Optimoji guys have really stepped up their game, 315 00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:30,767 but, um, you guys... 316 00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:34,597 have kind of been flagging. 317 00:12:34,864 --> 00:12:37,164 I'm just wondering if everything's all right. 318 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,767 Yeah. Great. 319 00:12:39,234 --> 00:12:40,888 Just nice to know where we stand. 320 00:12:41,364 --> 00:12:43,570 - Sorry? - We get it. 321 00:12:43,606 --> 00:12:46,072 You only acquired Sliceline because you wanted Optimoji. 322 00:12:46,108 --> 00:12:47,358 What? 323 00:12:48,076 --> 00:12:49,309 No, wrong. 324 00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:51,278 Uh, why would you say that? 325 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,880 I didn't. You did, 326 00:12:52,915 --> 00:12:54,647 when you chose their coffee over ours. 327 00:12:54,682 --> 00:12:56,482 It's bad enough we can't have Slice here. 328 00:12:56,713 --> 00:12:57,842 Slice? 329 00:12:58,553 --> 00:12:59,485 The beverage? 330 00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:01,453 No, no. Slice was our mascot. 331 00:13:02,724 --> 00:13:03,790 He's really smart. 332 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,079 Okay, well... 333 00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:06,559 Bring the little guy in. 334 00:13:06,594 --> 00:13:08,228 What about the no dog policy? 335 00:13:08,263 --> 00:13:10,324 What no dog policy, huh? 336 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,133 Really? Are you sure you don't need to check with Optimoji? 337 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,235 I'm pretty sure, but, uh... 338 00:13:17,472 --> 00:13:19,238 Danny? Dan man? 339 00:13:19,273 --> 00:13:21,307 Uh, I just was wondering 340 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,443 if you're cool if the Sliceline guys 341 00:13:23,478 --> 00:13:25,545 - brought in their dog. - He's really smart. 342 00:13:25,864 --> 00:13:28,731 Well at Optimoji, we had a no dog policy. 343 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,063 Come on. Don't be such a dork. 344 00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,902 Let 'em have it. It's just a dog. 345 00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:35,297 Sure. Fine. 346 00:13:35,641 --> 00:13:36,674 You're the CEO. 347 00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:37,901 Yes, I am. 348 00:13:38,411 --> 00:13:39,411 All right. 349 00:13:39,446 --> 00:13:41,131 And from this point on, 350 00:13:41,414 --> 00:13:44,960 CEO stands for Canine Endorsement... 351 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,213 Oh... yeah. 352 00:13:49,889 --> 00:13:50,954 All right. 353 00:13:54,226 --> 00:13:58,065 Hey, look at you and your 10-speed. 354 00:13:58,182 --> 00:14:01,131 Aw, you got up early 'cause you thought you could take my space. 355 00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:02,466 That's cute. 356 00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:04,434 Almost as cute as your bike. 357 00:14:06,577 --> 00:14:08,577 Yeah, I guess this is a bike, isn't it? 358 00:14:09,743 --> 00:14:11,779 So I get to use the bike lane. 359 00:14:12,244 --> 00:14:13,505 See you later. 360 00:14:14,546 --> 00:14:17,346 No, bikes still have to follow traffic laws! 361 00:14:17,381 --> 00:14:18,648 That's not fair! 362 00:14:20,118 --> 00:14:21,684 All right. You wanna get insane? 363 00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:25,421 Let's get insane. 364 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,190 Whoa! 365 00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:31,995 Fuck you, Gilfoyle! 366 00:14:42,284 --> 00:14:44,547 Something's wrong with your frunk. 367 00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:46,808 It's all frucked up. 368 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:47,970 Hey, Tesla! 369 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,945 You know where Pied Piper is? 370 00:14:54,952 --> 00:14:56,051 Right here, guys. 371 00:14:59,123 --> 00:15:00,221 What the fuck? 372 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:03,192 Dick? 373 00:15:03,226 --> 00:15:04,192 Hey, uh... 374 00:15:04,227 --> 00:15:06,557 - Explain. - Okay, uh... 375 00:15:06,587 --> 00:15:10,096 So, Optimoji had a no dog policy 376 00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:12,200 and apparently that's because every single one of 'em 377 00:15:12,235 --> 00:15:13,513 have a fucking dog. 378 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,212 And when we waived our no dog policy... 379 00:15:15,237 --> 00:15:16,903 You waived our no dog policy? 380 00:15:16,939 --> 00:15:19,406 I had Jared put that in there for a reason, Richard! 381 00:15:19,442 --> 00:15:22,309 In Pakistan, dogs are not pets, okay? 382 00:15:22,344 --> 00:15:23,643 They're vicious beasts 383 00:15:23,679 --> 00:15:25,178 and they chase you down the street 384 00:15:25,213 --> 00:15:26,279 and they bite you. 385 00:15:26,314 --> 00:15:28,381 My cousin Eftahar lost an ear. 386 00:15:28,416 --> 00:15:30,316 Our mayor was very corrupt. 387 00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:32,452 But he put poison pills in chicken meat 388 00:15:32,487 --> 00:15:34,187 to take care of the dog problem. 389 00:15:34,222 --> 00:15:35,354 We hailed him as a hero. 390 00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:37,023 We put up statues of him everywhere. 391 00:15:37,059 --> 00:15:38,410 He's gonna be okay. 392 00:15:38,727 --> 00:15:40,393 Who's gonna be okay? 393 00:15:40,428 --> 00:15:42,261 What? Stallion down? 394 00:15:42,297 --> 00:15:43,929 He's violently allergic to dogs. 395 00:15:43,965 --> 00:15:46,865 It's another reason for our iron-clad no dog policy. 396 00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:49,435 Jared, when were you planning on telling me all of this? 397 00:15:49,471 --> 00:15:51,048 Day two of orientation. 398 00:15:51,239 --> 00:15:53,138 Right after safe space charades. 399 00:15:53,522 --> 00:15:56,441 So look, we'll pay for your entire medical bill, obviously. 400 00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:57,643 So, you're good. 401 00:15:57,678 --> 00:15:59,578 You're covering his deductible? 402 00:15:59,614 --> 00:16:01,313 Then you have to cover ours, right? 403 00:16:01,348 --> 00:16:03,115 And what about the dogs? They're people, too. 404 00:16:03,626 --> 00:16:04,817 They're literally not. 405 00:16:04,852 --> 00:16:05,855 They're dogs! 406 00:16:06,696 --> 00:16:08,120 Hold strong. 407 00:16:11,993 --> 00:16:13,164 Fuck you! 408 00:16:16,924 --> 00:16:18,579 - Oh. - So... 409 00:16:19,329 --> 00:16:22,777 Jared, uh, you wanted me to unite the teams and I have. 410 00:16:22,802 --> 00:16:24,702 They are united against me. 411 00:16:25,211 --> 00:16:27,626 Even the dogs, apparently. 412 00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,041 I wish they had your fecal fortitude. 413 00:16:30,944 --> 00:16:32,417 Hey, do me a favor and... 414 00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:36,461 just take care of all the dogs. 415 00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:38,731 And then call an all-hands. 416 00:16:38,767 --> 00:16:42,686 I've clearly gotta say words. 417 00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:47,107 Ooh, okay. 418 00:16:47,952 --> 00:16:50,679 Really didn't wanna be back up here, again. 419 00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:52,612 And I think we all remember why, you know? 420 00:16:52,647 --> 00:16:55,281 But you probably don't know this, but I almost sh... 421 00:16:55,317 --> 00:16:56,349 They don't need to... 422 00:16:56,384 --> 00:16:57,917 Farted. Yeah. 423 00:16:59,154 --> 00:17:00,527 Which would be embarrassing. 424 00:17:00,989 --> 00:17:02,684 Anyway, look, uh... 425 00:17:02,991 --> 00:17:04,657 I know I... 426 00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:08,060 should be the inspiration for you guys, 427 00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:11,208 but to be honest, that's not really who I am. 428 00:17:12,303 --> 00:17:14,403 And if this company lives or dies 429 00:17:14,438 --> 00:17:16,505 by all the flowery things I say, 430 00:17:16,540 --> 00:17:18,507 well then, to be honest, we're fucked. Ha. 431 00:17:19,476 --> 00:17:21,158 They say that... 432 00:17:21,765 --> 00:17:23,397 people don't follow ideas. 433 00:17:23,984 --> 00:17:26,620 But I think in this case, you guys should. 434 00:17:27,048 --> 00:17:28,033 Because... 435 00:17:28,852 --> 00:17:31,252 the idea of creating a new Internet, 436 00:17:31,288 --> 00:17:32,934 that's special. 437 00:17:33,624 --> 00:17:35,824 Right? And we've been given the opportunity 438 00:17:35,859 --> 00:17:37,440 to rewrite... 439 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:42,489 the most important thing in human history. 440 00:17:42,975 --> 00:17:44,332 And we can build it 441 00:17:44,549 --> 00:17:46,375 the way it should've been made all along. 442 00:17:46,946 --> 00:17:50,717 You know, not this shitty, addictive parasite 443 00:17:51,107 --> 00:17:53,946 that companies like Hooli use to spy on us 444 00:17:53,946 --> 00:17:55,372 and exploit us. 445 00:17:55,915 --> 00:17:56,981 Okay? 446 00:17:57,817 --> 00:17:59,717 There. That's your inspiration. 447 00:17:59,752 --> 00:18:00,851 Not me. 448 00:18:00,886 --> 00:18:03,687 Not coffee. Not dogs. So... 449 00:18:05,611 --> 00:18:07,844 if I'm not inspirational enough for you, 450 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,312 and if you don't wanna be here, 451 00:18:09,347 --> 00:18:10,829 well, then, there's the door. 452 00:18:11,349 --> 00:18:12,882 And we'll give you enough severance 453 00:18:12,918 --> 00:18:14,517 to cover you to your next job. 454 00:18:14,776 --> 00:18:17,687 But if you wanna stick around and build this thing, 455 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,369 then we've got work to do. 456 00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:27,663 Great job. 457 00:18:27,699 --> 00:18:29,097 So what's going on? I hear footsteps. 458 00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,300 Are... are people sitting back down, or...? 459 00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:33,302 Okay, they're picking up their bags. 460 00:18:34,839 --> 00:18:36,104 That could be good. 461 00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:38,207 Okay. So, what, they're leaving, or...? 462 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,535 A few are. 463 00:18:40,978 --> 00:18:42,344 Okay, what's a few? 464 00:18:42,379 --> 00:18:43,780 It's more than a few. 465 00:18:44,614 --> 00:18:47,216 What's that mean? Like, what's more than a few, five? 466 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:48,317 Double digits? 467 00:18:48,352 --> 00:18:51,019 It might be easier to say how many are staying. 468 00:18:51,055 --> 00:18:52,115 It's, uh... 469 00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:54,074 It's two. 470 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,341 What? 471 00:18:57,961 --> 00:18:58,931 Okay. 472 00:19:02,984 --> 00:19:04,051 So, uh, 473 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,033 Richard, what... What do you wanna do here? 474 00:19:06,069 --> 00:19:07,491 What are you talking about? I'm doing it. 475 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,576 - Sorry? - I'm a coder, Jared. 476 00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:10,947 So I'm gonna code. 477 00:19:11,241 --> 00:19:13,675 And if I have to build my entire new fucking Internet by myself, 478 00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:15,110 I'll do that, so... 479 00:19:18,938 --> 00:19:19,992 Oh, dear. 480 00:19:21,392 --> 00:19:22,392 I like it. 481 00:19:23,258 --> 00:19:24,585 It's just so edgy. 482 00:19:24,804 --> 00:19:26,854 Banksy is a very edgy artist. 483 00:19:26,890 --> 00:19:28,122 The edgiest. 484 00:19:29,692 --> 00:19:31,057 What is this? 485 00:19:32,561 --> 00:19:35,268 Banksy is insisting his signature be on his work. 486 00:19:35,829 --> 00:19:37,762 This is supposed to be my signature. 487 00:19:38,024 --> 00:19:41,359 On what planet does a signature have a signature on it? 488 00:19:43,608 --> 00:19:45,340 I'm afraid it's non-negotiable. 489 00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:47,939 The fucking balls on this egomaniac. 490 00:19:47,974 --> 00:19:49,707 You know what? Fuck Banksy. 491 00:19:49,743 --> 00:19:52,443 We're on a campus full of literally thousands 492 00:19:52,478 --> 00:19:54,979 of the greatest creative minds in the world. 493 00:19:55,014 --> 00:19:57,581 Let's just crowd source it with our employees. We'll make it a contest. 494 00:19:57,617 --> 00:19:59,617 People will feel empowered and part of the team. 495 00:19:59,652 --> 00:20:01,219 And it won't cost us shit. 496 00:20:01,549 --> 00:20:03,920 You see? This is what a benevolent leader does. 497 00:20:04,283 --> 00:20:05,382 Make it happen. 498 00:20:08,894 --> 00:20:09,952 Sir, is this a good time? 499 00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:12,110 It's a great time. I just fired Banksy. 500 00:20:12,372 --> 00:20:13,538 Banksy, the vandal? 501 00:20:13,574 --> 00:20:16,005 The very one. Now, what do you have for me? 502 00:20:16,098 --> 00:20:17,030 Good news. 503 00:20:17,065 --> 00:20:20,466 I'm hearing that Pied Piper is in a free-fall. 504 00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:23,185 - From whom? - All I can say without implicating you 505 00:20:23,185 --> 00:20:25,052 is that I've instituted an operation 506 00:20:25,087 --> 00:20:26,974 to safeguard our interests. 507 00:20:27,223 --> 00:20:29,507 I'm calling it "Project Washburn." 508 00:20:29,758 --> 00:20:31,024 What I'm planning to... 509 00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:33,260 Hoover, you're implicating me. 510 00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:41,634 Are we bad people for leaving Richard there to work by himself? 511 00:20:41,670 --> 00:20:44,003 We've been coding for 48 hours straight. 512 00:20:44,038 --> 00:20:47,173 I could give a shit about deontological ethics. 513 00:20:48,777 --> 00:20:49,757 Yang. 514 00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:52,479 There better not be a Chinaman in my bed. 515 00:20:52,817 --> 00:20:54,279 That is racist. 516 00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:55,381 Yes. 517 00:20:56,284 --> 00:20:57,583 I am racist. 518 00:21:02,297 --> 00:21:03,463 Stupid Errich. 519 00:21:04,154 --> 00:21:05,509 Big mortgage. 520 00:21:05,509 --> 00:21:07,093 Seven credit cards. 521 00:21:07,128 --> 00:21:09,228 Not even one with miles. 522 00:21:09,932 --> 00:21:11,209 Fucking loser. 523 00:21:12,128 --> 00:21:15,421 It almost not worth to take his house from him. 524 00:21:15,724 --> 00:21:16,757 Fat fuck. 525 00:21:16,791 --> 00:21:17,890 Speaking of crazy bills, 526 00:21:17,925 --> 00:21:20,318 you know how much it's going to cost to fix my Tesla? 527 00:21:20,595 --> 00:21:22,099 $17,000. 528 00:21:22,430 --> 00:21:23,929 I can't afford to pay that. 529 00:21:26,482 --> 00:21:28,316 But I can't afford not to pay it. 530 00:21:28,351 --> 00:21:29,783 If I don't fix my Tesla, 531 00:21:29,819 --> 00:21:31,085 Gilfoyle wins. 532 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,354 And I need to really shove it up his ass. 533 00:21:33,950 --> 00:21:34,956 Wait. 534 00:21:34,991 --> 00:21:36,523 Do I really hate someone so much 535 00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:39,001 that defeating them is worth more than money? 536 00:21:39,728 --> 00:21:41,429 Is that really what I've become? 537 00:21:43,065 --> 00:21:44,230 Yeah, it is. 538 00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:45,422 I'm gonna pay it. 539 00:21:45,868 --> 00:21:47,033 Thanks, Jian-Yang. 540 00:21:51,607 --> 00:21:52,782 I'll pay, too. 541 00:21:56,044 --> 00:21:57,410 Fuck you, Errich. 542 00:21:57,811 --> 00:21:59,880 You can't just leave your bike-car 543 00:21:59,914 --> 00:22:01,514 in my Tesla's spot and Uber home. 544 00:22:01,549 --> 00:22:02,882 That's not fair, Gilfoyle. 545 00:22:02,917 --> 00:22:05,212 Mmm, you don't seem to understand. 546 00:22:05,687 --> 00:22:07,520 It's my spot now. 547 00:22:10,527 --> 00:22:11,859 What are they doing back? 548 00:22:11,893 --> 00:22:13,926 Hey. Where have you been? 549 00:22:14,638 --> 00:22:15,853 Sleeping. 550 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,152 What? All night? 551 00:22:18,152 --> 00:22:20,853 We assumed you guys were right behind us. What's happening? 552 00:22:20,888 --> 00:22:21,881 Oh! 553 00:22:22,990 --> 00:22:24,122 Something. 554 00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:25,758 Something is happening. 555 00:22:25,793 --> 00:22:27,292 When you left, I thought he was fried. 556 00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:30,281 Okay? Because his shoulders were all tight, 557 00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,886 and he wouldn't answer to his name, 558 00:22:31,887 --> 00:22:33,053 and his eyes went dead, 559 00:22:33,088 --> 00:22:34,187 like when I tell him I love him. 560 00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:36,389 But then, he just got stronger 561 00:22:36,425 --> 00:22:37,590 and he started picking up speed, 562 00:22:37,625 --> 00:22:39,859 so I texted a few of the Sliceline guys 563 00:22:39,894 --> 00:22:42,228 and then they texted some of the Optimoji guys, 564 00:22:42,264 --> 00:22:43,663 and they all wanted to see it. 565 00:22:43,698 --> 00:22:46,099 Richard has finished the scheduler 566 00:22:46,134 --> 00:22:47,434 and is almost ready to merge 567 00:22:47,469 --> 00:22:49,370 the server-less runtime. Look, look! 568 00:22:49,578 --> 00:22:51,221 He implemented all those tasks? 569 00:22:51,276 --> 00:22:52,395 By himself? 570 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,807 That was supposed to take the whole team four days. 571 00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:57,843 It's amazing. I mean, I feel... 572 00:22:57,879 --> 00:23:00,145 I feel like Mary Magdalene on resurrection day. 573 00:23:00,181 --> 00:23:02,648 And that's not the greatest miracle of all. 574 00:23:02,684 --> 00:23:04,699 Look. Look at the coders. 575 00:23:05,086 --> 00:23:07,152 They're all wearing Pied Piper hoodies. 576 00:23:07,424 --> 00:23:08,721 He pushed another commit. 577 00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:09,788 What the fuck? 578 00:23:10,129 --> 00:23:11,490 Flawless. Right? 579 00:23:12,253 --> 00:23:14,626 Um, it takes a while to read a whole commit. 580 00:23:14,668 --> 00:23:16,407 They've been cheering after every commit. 581 00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:18,497 I mean, they haven't, but it's... 582 00:23:18,532 --> 00:23:19,598 It's great. 583 00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:28,206 I thought I had to shit my pants. 584 00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:29,908 So, I crouched. 585 00:23:31,912 --> 00:23:33,044 I actually vomited. 586 00:23:35,048 --> 00:23:37,762 Fight-or-flight reflex kicked in and I just... 587 00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:41,831 Richard! 588 00:23:42,322 --> 00:23:43,476 Richard? 589 00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,151 Richard? 590 00:23:45,391 --> 00:23:46,790 Hey, buddy boy. 591 00:23:47,570 --> 00:23:49,748 Oh, there he is. 592 00:23:50,863 --> 00:23:52,530 What's... what's going on? 593 00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:54,064 Don't flip out, okay? 594 00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:57,467 But you have been in a coma for four years. 595 00:23:57,503 --> 00:23:58,503 What? 596 00:23:58,869 --> 00:24:00,169 That's correct. 597 00:24:00,169 --> 00:24:02,303 In fact, I'm a robot. 598 00:24:02,709 --> 00:24:05,173 The real Dr. Crawford died heroically 599 00:24:05,208 --> 00:24:07,072 in the water wars of 2020. 600 00:24:08,472 --> 00:24:10,456 Jokes, Richard! 601 00:24:10,975 --> 00:24:12,307 I'm just joking around. 602 00:24:12,342 --> 00:24:14,042 What, did you sell your sense of humor? 603 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,246 You've just been out for about six hours. 604 00:24:18,281 --> 00:24:20,849 You were not even unconscious, really just asleep. 605 00:24:20,945 --> 00:24:22,878 But you did lose a whole lot of blood. 606 00:24:22,913 --> 00:24:25,016 I just hope they put the right kind back in. 607 00:24:26,550 --> 00:24:28,916 Wait, are you still riffing? 608 00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:31,586 I don't know. 609 00:24:32,233 --> 00:24:33,999 Richard, here's the bad news, 610 00:24:34,065 --> 00:24:35,823 your arms and your torso 611 00:24:35,859 --> 00:24:37,459 took the brunt of the glass. 612 00:24:37,494 --> 00:24:38,627 If you'd cut your face up some, 613 00:24:38,662 --> 00:24:41,107 we could've gotten insurance to pay for a whole remodel. 614 00:24:41,216 --> 00:24:42,264 Gotta, you know... 615 00:24:42,299 --> 00:24:44,198 give the old schnozzle a much-needed trim, 616 00:24:44,234 --> 00:24:45,566 you know what I'm talking about. 617 00:24:45,601 --> 00:24:47,835 You gotta hate it as much as everybody else. 618 00:24:48,956 --> 00:24:50,456 So what happened? What were you, 619 00:24:50,492 --> 00:24:51,957 trying to ride one of those hover boards 620 00:24:51,993 --> 00:24:53,410 around your office like a nincompoop? 621 00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:55,110 Um, no. 622 00:24:55,145 --> 00:24:57,679 I... I guess I just got a little lost in the work. 623 00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:02,083 All right. Hop in, Frankenstein. 624 00:25:02,118 --> 00:25:03,259 Let's get you out of here. 625 00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:05,253 Oh, uh... 626 00:25:05,288 --> 00:25:07,188 I think what you're trying to say is 627 00:25:07,224 --> 00:25:08,456 Frankenstein's monster. 628 00:25:08,737 --> 00:25:09,756 What? 629 00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:11,892 I think you mean to call me Frankenstein's monster 630 00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:13,042 'cause Frankenstein is the... 631 00:25:13,067 --> 00:25:14,133 Oh, you're one of those guys, huh? 632 00:25:14,243 --> 00:25:16,531 No, I'm just... the doctor's name is Frankenstein... 633 00:25:16,566 --> 00:25:18,812 I know. It's just an annoying thing to point out. 634 00:25:18,914 --> 00:25:20,496 If you want people to like you, 635 00:25:20,903 --> 00:25:22,805 just go along with what they say and have fun. 636 00:25:27,009 --> 00:25:28,275 What? 637 00:25:28,310 --> 00:25:29,310 Richard! 638 00:25:29,345 --> 00:25:31,873 You should've called. I would've picked you up. 639 00:25:31,873 --> 00:25:33,438 What's everybody doing here? 640 00:25:33,574 --> 00:25:34,906 The fuck does it look like? 641 00:25:34,941 --> 00:25:35,907 We're working. 642 00:25:35,942 --> 00:25:37,108 Look at 'em all, Richard. 643 00:25:38,033 --> 00:25:39,577 I mean, sure, a three-day orientation 644 00:25:39,612 --> 00:25:41,696 might've been just as effective and less bloody, 645 00:25:41,730 --> 00:25:43,337 but it wasn't you. 646 00:25:43,370 --> 00:25:44,894 But you found your own way 647 00:25:44,894 --> 00:25:48,561 to get these men and women, these Pipers, to follow you. 648 00:25:49,122 --> 00:25:50,732 You looked at these people and you said, 649 00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:52,599 "I may not be an inspiring speaker. 650 00:25:52,964 --> 00:25:54,760 "I may be twitchy, 651 00:25:55,104 --> 00:25:56,641 "and I might be strange, 652 00:25:56,873 --> 00:25:59,306 "and I might vomit and I might defecate in my pants 653 00:25:59,342 --> 00:26:01,375 "and I might throw myself through a window. 654 00:26:01,410 --> 00:26:03,010 "But I believe in this company so much, 655 00:26:03,045 --> 00:26:05,729 I'll work so hard, I'll literally risk my life for it." 656 00:26:06,115 --> 00:26:09,249 And that is the kind of leader these people wanna follow. 657 00:26:09,685 --> 00:26:12,257 Because now they know nothing is gonna stop you. 658 00:26:12,497 --> 00:26:13,757 All right, then. 659 00:26:22,073 --> 00:26:23,995 Gavin Belson's office, please? 660 00:26:24,242 --> 00:26:26,843 I need to talk to Hoover. It's Jeff Washburn. 661 00:26:26,878 --> 00:26:28,172 Yes, thank you. 662 00:26:28,446 --> 00:26:30,646 This one came in third with 46 votes. 663 00:26:30,681 --> 00:26:32,757 Cute. Next? 664 00:26:34,185 --> 00:26:37,220 This one came in second with 374 votes. 665 00:26:37,255 --> 00:26:39,322 Nice, feels solid. 666 00:26:40,456 --> 00:26:43,492 And with 9,986 votes this, 667 00:26:43,527 --> 00:26:45,909 by far, was Hooli's favorite. 668 00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:54,169 Hmm, I like it. 669 00:26:55,239 --> 00:26:56,405 It's bold. 670 00:26:56,831 --> 00:26:59,039 Gavin B. 671 00:27:00,110 --> 00:27:02,010 Mr. Hoover? You have a phone call. 672 00:27:02,045 --> 00:27:03,511 He said you'd know what it was regarding. 673 00:27:03,546 --> 00:27:05,247 A Mr. Jeff Washburn. 674 00:27:08,952 --> 00:27:11,019 I am so exhausted. 675 00:27:11,054 --> 00:27:12,487 But the backseat of my Tesla's 676 00:27:12,522 --> 00:27:14,367 really comfy though, right, Richard? 677 00:27:14,392 --> 00:27:16,610 Definitely worth all the money I'm spending on it. 678 00:27:16,666 --> 00:27:18,006 Good purchase. 679 00:27:18,135 --> 00:27:19,468 Not a mistake. 680 00:27:19,503 --> 00:27:20,765 Uh... 681 00:27:21,171 --> 00:27:22,571 my key doesn't work. 682 00:27:22,606 --> 00:27:24,148 Uh, let me try mine. 683 00:27:27,311 --> 00:27:28,311 What the fuck? 684 00:27:28,345 --> 00:27:29,678 Mine doesn't work either. 685 00:27:31,114 --> 00:27:32,446 Yang. Move. 686 00:27:33,102 --> 00:27:34,582 Do you have a app idea? 687 00:27:35,126 --> 00:27:36,219 No. 688 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,108 Sorry. Errich is gone. 689 00:27:39,455 --> 00:27:41,358 This is my incubator now. 690 00:27:41,843 --> 00:27:42,802 What? 691 00:27:42,802 --> 00:27:44,835 Your things are over there. 692 00:27:46,139 --> 00:27:47,337 What the fuck? 693 00:27:47,373 --> 00:27:49,640 You just took our shit and threw it on the lawn? 694 00:27:49,675 --> 00:27:50,699 Gilfoyle, 695 00:27:50,842 --> 00:27:52,409 you are racist. 696 00:27:52,444 --> 00:27:53,710 And Richard... 697 00:27:54,713 --> 00:27:55,713 you are ugly. 698 00:27:55,747 --> 00:27:58,882 The Errich administration is over. 699 00:27:58,917 --> 00:27:59,949 - What? - What the fuck? 700 00:27:59,985 --> 00:28:01,751 You can't just kick us out, Jian-Yang. 701 00:28:01,787 --> 00:28:05,514 Sorry. You are victims of a circumstance. 702 00:28:06,341 --> 00:28:07,356 Thank you. 703 00:28:09,527 --> 00:28:10,660 Jian-Yang. 704 00:28:11,697 --> 00:28:12,896 What the fuck? 705 00:28:16,199 --> 00:28:18,968 Why does the whole neighborhood smell like bacon?