1 00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:03,931 Jian-Yang, are... Are you copying 2 00:00:03,956 --> 00:00:06,038 all those companies for the Chinese markets? 3 00:00:06,664 --> 00:00:08,497 Oh, no. 4 00:00:09,747 --> 00:00:11,329 Are you suggesting that 5 00:00:11,330 --> 00:00:14,037 someone in here is leaking info to Gavin Belson? 6 00:00:14,038 --> 00:00:15,871 Tell me about these... fridges. 7 00:00:15,872 --> 00:00:17,413 It's a company secret. 8 00:00:17,414 --> 00:00:19,788 Do you want to save a fortune, or not? 9 00:00:19,789 --> 00:00:20,789 Well, yes. 10 00:00:20,956 --> 00:00:22,913 In exchange, I need you to do something for me, 11 00:00:22,914 --> 00:00:25,122 with regard to the people who hacked your refrigerators. 12 00:00:25,372 --> 00:00:27,038 I'm going to destroy their lives. 13 00:00:27,622 --> 00:00:30,955 Jared, do you think it's... time we hire a COO? 14 00:00:30,956 --> 00:00:32,830 You're 20-30 pounds underweight. 15 00:00:32,831 --> 00:00:34,079 Don't worry about him. 16 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,122 We're gonna find you a much better COO. 17 00:00:36,747 --> 00:00:37,914 You want the job? 18 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:41,097 All right... Ugh. All right. 19 00:00:48,947 --> 00:00:51,446 Okay, everybody, um, thanks for coming. 20 00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:52,913 Uh, sorry about the venue. 21 00:00:52,914 --> 00:00:55,203 We had a minor security issue. 22 00:00:55,203 --> 00:00:56,663 I didn't feel comfortable 23 00:00:56,664 --> 00:00:58,329 hosting you guys at... at our offices. 24 00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:00,039 But, hey, at least out here, 25 00:01:00,142 --> 00:01:01,516 we don't run the risk 26 00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:03,579 of running into anyone from the tech industry. 27 00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:05,955 Yeah, they're all so old. 28 00:01:05,956 --> 00:01:08,037 - But they look so happy. - Yeah. 29 00:01:08,304 --> 00:01:09,387 It's weird. 30 00:01:09,387 --> 00:01:10,957 I don't understand it either. 31 00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:13,074 Anyway, I wanted you guys to meet, 32 00:01:13,178 --> 00:01:16,135 because despite being a very diverse 33 00:01:16,136 --> 00:01:18,984 and talented group of young web developers... 34 00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:21,844 Goodscape, huh? Social coding platform. 35 00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:23,885 Tholio, analytics firm. 36 00:01:23,886 --> 00:01:25,553 Plucky, music streaming. 37 00:01:25,554 --> 00:01:27,052 FirstSight, dating site. 38 00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,553 Gay dating site. 39 00:01:28,554 --> 00:01:31,219 Okay, technically, you're a dating site, 40 00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:33,219 but specifically, a gay one. 41 00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:35,344 Which is a subset, so I'm not wrong. 42 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,636 Anyway, uh, despite all our differences, 43 00:01:37,637 --> 00:01:39,756 we all have one thing in common, right? 44 00:01:40,095 --> 00:01:42,010 A signed agreement with me 45 00:01:42,011 --> 00:01:44,553 to build and launch your websites, 46 00:01:44,554 --> 00:01:47,917 not on the tired, bloated, old web, 47 00:01:47,957 --> 00:01:50,969 but on the new Internet of the future. 48 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:52,344 The Pipernet. 49 00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:55,139 Which is why, from this day forward, 50 00:01:55,303 --> 00:01:57,302 I'm going to be naming the eight of you... 51 00:01:57,303 --> 00:01:58,886 the OctoPipers. 52 00:02:01,845 --> 00:02:03,386 Until something better, TBD. 53 00:02:03,387 --> 00:02:04,678 So when can we tell people? 54 00:02:04,679 --> 00:02:06,094 Soon! Actually, very soon. 55 00:02:06,095 --> 00:02:09,460 Uh, next Tuesday, Gavin Belson is, uh... 56 00:02:09,679 --> 00:02:11,177 launching his Box Three. 57 00:02:11,178 --> 00:02:13,177 So, um, the day before, 58 00:02:13,459 --> 00:02:16,552 we are going to announce our partnerships with you all, 59 00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,052 and beat him to the punch. 60 00:02:18,053 --> 00:02:19,969 Shit. He's gonna be super pissed. 61 00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:21,594 He's really gonna come after us. 62 00:02:21,595 --> 00:02:23,733 Yeah, he is, but fuck him. 63 00:02:23,886 --> 00:02:25,227 Not butt fuck him. 64 00:02:25,594 --> 00:02:27,344 - Just... - You don't have to explain 65 00:02:27,345 --> 00:02:29,386 that kinda stuff. I-I know what you mean. 66 00:02:29,387 --> 00:02:31,261 Yeah, I know. Look... look. 67 00:02:31,262 --> 00:02:33,261 As long as we stick together, 68 00:02:33,262 --> 00:02:35,427 and support each other, we can crush him. 69 00:02:35,428 --> 00:02:37,844 Because what we are doing is amazing, okay? 70 00:02:37,845 --> 00:02:40,052 We are building the world's first truly open, 71 00:02:40,053 --> 00:02:42,960 truly free de-centralized Internet. 72 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,594 And I tell you what, I got a sneak preview for you guys, okay? 73 00:02:46,595 --> 00:02:48,261 Because as of this morning, 74 00:02:49,314 --> 00:02:51,468 - messaging is live. - What! 75 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,165 - Cool. - Yeah. 76 00:02:53,165 --> 00:02:54,623 Really? So cool! 77 00:02:54,624 --> 00:02:55,829 So... 78 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,625 right now, I will send to you all 79 00:02:58,626 --> 00:03:00,124 the very first message 80 00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:03,916 ever to be sent on a de-centralized, peer-to-peer Internet. 81 00:03:04,503 --> 00:03:06,211 Ready? 82 00:03:08,214 --> 00:03:09,378 "Hit her." 83 00:03:09,671 --> 00:03:11,860 I don't get it. Are you talking about me? 84 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,291 I meant to say "Hi there." 85 00:03:13,292 --> 00:03:15,508 Well, it definitely says "Hit her." 86 00:03:15,508 --> 00:03:17,340 I'll try it again. There's a new one. 87 00:03:17,341 --> 00:03:18,966 There. "Hi there." 88 00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:20,883 "Hi there, Hitler." 89 00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:22,009 Goddammit. 90 00:03:23,050 --> 00:03:24,055 Hey, Richard? 91 00:03:24,216 --> 00:03:25,507 You don't have any issue with us 92 00:03:25,508 --> 00:03:27,909 being an exclusively gay site, do you? 93 00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:28,910 What? No! 94 00:03:28,911 --> 00:03:30,575 No, it's... It's totally cool. 95 00:03:30,576 --> 00:03:33,617 Oh! Wait a minute, no, I don't mean you are anti-gay. 96 00:03:33,618 --> 00:03:35,116 I mean the opposite. Like, are you worried 97 00:03:35,117 --> 00:03:37,033 that we're excluding straight people? 98 00:03:37,034 --> 00:03:38,283 Oh. I just remember you said, 99 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:40,700 you want your new Internet to be open for everybody, 100 00:03:40,701 --> 00:03:43,575 and, you know, I just want to make sure we're jibing with your vision. 101 00:03:43,576 --> 00:03:46,075 Deedee, we are psyched to have you aboard. 102 00:03:46,283 --> 00:03:48,408 Exclude all the straight people you want. 103 00:03:48,409 --> 00:03:49,575 - You sure? - Yep. 104 00:03:49,576 --> 00:03:51,533 Because we're not snobs about it. 105 00:03:51,534 --> 00:03:52,950 I mean, between you and me, 106 00:03:52,951 --> 00:03:54,116 I'm dreadfully boring. 107 00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:55,986 I might as well be straight myself. 108 00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:58,075 I've been with the same man for seven years. 109 00:03:58,076 --> 00:03:59,533 I go to church every Sunday. 110 00:03:59,534 --> 00:04:00,617 Look, it... it's all good. 111 00:04:00,618 --> 00:04:03,079 FirstSight is a gay dating site. 112 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,013 And... and I will sing it from the rooftops. 113 00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:07,367 Alright, well, thank you, Richard. 114 00:04:07,368 --> 00:04:08,617 I think this is gonna be great. 115 00:04:08,618 --> 00:04:09,583 Cool. 116 00:04:11,276 --> 00:04:12,609 Yeah. Okay. 117 00:04:12,634 --> 00:04:14,550 - Don't be weird. - I didn't know what we'd be doing. 118 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:20,909 So... 119 00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:22,742 everybody is very psyched. 120 00:04:22,743 --> 00:04:24,825 You know who else is psyched? I'll give you a hint. 121 00:04:24,826 --> 00:04:27,784 They have four thumbs, and they are these two guys. 122 00:04:27,785 --> 00:04:29,950 - I am very excited. - I am giddy! 123 00:04:29,951 --> 00:04:31,659 Okay, what... What happened? 124 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:33,112 We found the mole. 125 00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:34,866 - What? - Yeah. 126 00:04:34,866 --> 00:04:36,156 Who? How? 127 00:04:36,158 --> 00:04:37,730 Good old-fashioned police work. 128 00:04:37,867 --> 00:04:41,032 I skimmed through all 40,000 of the staff's outgoing emails. 129 00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:42,575 - Yeah? - And in addition to learning 130 00:04:42,576 --> 00:04:44,783 that we need to revise the office dating policy, 131 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,408 because it is, essentially, the Olympic Village out there, 132 00:04:47,409 --> 00:04:49,491 I learned that someone has been sending 133 00:04:49,492 --> 00:04:51,074 a number of encrypted messages 134 00:04:51,075 --> 00:04:53,366 but using Gilfoyle's purloined NSA tools... 135 00:04:53,367 --> 00:04:56,826 I can't hold this smile forever, Jared. Get to the good stuff. 136 00:04:57,076 --> 00:04:59,199 One of our coders has been sending info 137 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,742 straight to Hooli High Command. 138 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:04,866 Wow. 139 00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:07,408 How the fuck did the mole get all this information? 140 00:05:07,409 --> 00:05:11,283 By exploiting our most glaring weakness. 141 00:05:11,284 --> 00:05:13,408 You were working as a waitress 142 00:05:13,409 --> 00:05:15,575 In a cocktail bar 143 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:19,116 When I met Jeff 144 00:05:26,757 --> 00:05:29,059 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 145 00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:31,907 No, no, no. You guys have it all wrong. 146 00:05:31,908 --> 00:05:33,949 Okay? There's no way Jeff is the mole. 147 00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,575 Okay? It's not Jeff. 148 00:05:35,576 --> 00:05:37,283 Right, Jeff? 149 00:05:39,194 --> 00:05:40,287 Jeff? 150 00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:42,867 What about Dave & Buster's, Jeff? 151 00:05:44,158 --> 00:05:46,032 What about that time I got a bullseye in Skee-Ball 152 00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:47,199 and yelled out, "Bazinga!" 153 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,825 And you said, "Okay." 154 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:51,085 You can't fake enthusiasm like that. 155 00:05:52,158 --> 00:05:53,491 Well, I did. 156 00:05:53,492 --> 00:05:55,199 You Judas. 157 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,199 You cow-handed poltroon! 158 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,991 We... We thought you were a Stallion! 159 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,825 You're no Stallion. 160 00:06:00,826 --> 00:06:02,491 What is it with you guys and stallions? 161 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,658 What's with you being a rat fuck? 162 00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:07,825 You signed a very aggressive Non-Disclosure Agreement... 163 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,658 which you are in breach of. 164 00:06:10,683 --> 00:06:12,657 Which means, we can fire you, obviously, 165 00:06:12,659 --> 00:06:15,991 and then have you arrested, and thrown in jail. 166 00:06:15,992 --> 00:06:19,408 But Gavin would then know we are on to you, 167 00:06:19,409 --> 00:06:20,565 so here's the deal. 168 00:06:21,908 --> 00:06:23,907 You're gonna come into the office every day, 169 00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:25,783 and sit down at your fucking workstation, 170 00:06:25,784 --> 00:06:27,533 and pretend like nothing's wrong. 171 00:06:27,534 --> 00:06:28,741 Fine. 172 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,534 Uh, that was mine. 173 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:34,758 Bummer. 174 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:38,032 "The irony is, the Internet, which we all use 175 00:06:38,033 --> 00:06:39,866 "to search for billions of things, 176 00:06:39,957 --> 00:06:43,867 "has itself long been searching for something. 177 00:06:45,117 --> 00:06:46,361 And here it is." 178 00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:48,982 Okay, then I turn and gesture. 179 00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:54,110 "The Box Three. 180 00:06:54,742 --> 00:06:56,783 Signature Edition." 181 00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:00,205 Then I come back to the podium. 182 00:07:01,506 --> 00:07:03,129 "I put my name on this, 183 00:07:03,325 --> 00:07:05,825 "because I personally stand behind 184 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,422 "the new SAS-slash 185 00:07:07,447 --> 00:07:10,679 SSD-slash-NVMe drive bays, 186 00:07:10,826 --> 00:07:13,032 "the 24-core processors. 187 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:16,404 "I stand behind the ECC DDR4 188 00:07:16,429 --> 00:07:18,475 SD-RAM LR-DIMMs 189 00:07:18,576 --> 00:07:21,208 "and their exceptional reliability. 190 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,482 Will you stand with me?" 191 00:07:35,576 --> 00:07:37,491 About the spotlight, should it be wider? 192 00:07:37,492 --> 00:07:39,074 - I had the same thought. - As did I. 193 00:07:39,075 --> 00:07:40,908 - I can speak with the technical team. - Please. 194 00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:43,741 Any word from our mole at Pied Piper? 195 00:07:43,742 --> 00:07:45,575 I'm confident that if there were anything to report, 196 00:07:45,576 --> 00:07:47,074 we'd have heard about it by now, sir. 197 00:07:47,432 --> 00:07:48,491 Alright! 198 00:07:48,492 --> 00:07:51,032 I'm off to Jackson Hole for a couple of days to clear my mind, 199 00:07:51,033 --> 00:07:52,324 and center myself. 200 00:07:52,325 --> 00:07:54,825 I'll be off the grid. Not to be disturbed for any reason. 201 00:07:54,826 --> 00:07:56,283 - Understood? - Absolutely. 202 00:07:56,284 --> 00:07:58,417 Is there anything else you'd like us to take care of? Oh. 203 00:07:58,442 --> 00:08:00,191 Oh. The bear is sticky with honey. 204 00:08:00,742 --> 00:08:01,698 See ya soon. 205 00:08:07,636 --> 00:08:10,562 "The bear is sticky with honey." 206 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,444 What does he mean by that? 207 00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:13,963 I don't know. 208 00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,100 Hello, Stallions. 209 00:08:16,950 --> 00:08:19,485 You continue to be the best of the best. 210 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,589 I commend you. 211 00:08:22,617 --> 00:08:23,783 And then there's you. 212 00:08:23,784 --> 00:08:24,991 The anti-Stallion. 213 00:08:24,992 --> 00:08:27,325 Move your hand off your fucking mouse, now. 214 00:08:31,659 --> 00:08:34,991 And I was going to take you to see BattleBots live with me, 215 00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:37,033 but no longer... "friend." 216 00:08:37,325 --> 00:08:38,952 Now who looks stupid? 217 00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:42,324 Yeah, so, um... 218 00:08:42,325 --> 00:08:45,783 our new developers just agreed to our terms, 219 00:08:45,784 --> 00:08:48,032 and are now officially on board. 220 00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:50,876 Richard is a master at getting consent. 221 00:08:51,284 --> 00:08:53,324 That's great news, guys. 222 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,658 Eight new partners. 223 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,867 Yeah! Actually, we're calling them the OctoPipers. 224 00:09:01,659 --> 00:09:03,533 Uh, until a better name comes along. 225 00:09:03,534 --> 00:09:05,658 Just wanted to give that one its day in court. 226 00:09:05,659 --> 00:09:08,116 Well, we have some more good news for you, Richard. 227 00:09:08,117 --> 00:09:09,117 You remember last year, 228 00:09:09,118 --> 00:09:11,032 Laurie and I funded K-Hole Games? 229 00:09:11,033 --> 00:09:13,366 Largest independent gaming company in the Valley? 230 00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:15,366 Uh, yeah, of course! 231 00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:18,032 Um, actually, now that you... you bring them up, 232 00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:19,825 I-I didn't want to be too forward, 233 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,700 but I was hoping that one day, 234 00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:24,533 we could talk to them about joining our 'net. 235 00:09:24,534 --> 00:09:26,825 Well, what if I told you that day is today? 236 00:09:26,826 --> 00:09:27,826 What? 237 00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:30,199 In addition to being business associates, 238 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,658 the CEO and I take medically prescribed 239 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,533 and supervised MDMA together. 240 00:09:34,784 --> 00:09:37,074 I'm taking it for severe post-partum depression. 241 00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:39,287 I do not know why he is taking it. 242 00:09:39,534 --> 00:09:41,741 Regardless, when I saw him yesterday, 243 00:09:41,742 --> 00:09:45,533 he was quite euphoric about speaking to you regarding a deal. 244 00:09:45,534 --> 00:09:47,199 K-Hole? The creators of the game 245 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,741 "Undead Sex Offender"? They're... they're huge. 246 00:09:49,742 --> 00:09:53,408 Yeah! Yeah, partnering with a company of that size this early 247 00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:54,907 would put us months ahead. 248 00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:56,917 This is not a done deal. 249 00:09:57,117 --> 00:10:00,116 K-Hole is protective of its brand. 250 00:10:00,117 --> 00:10:01,575 They will want to speak to you 251 00:10:01,576 --> 00:10:03,324 regarding who else you are dealing with. 252 00:10:03,325 --> 00:10:05,324 Okay, right, well, um... 253 00:10:05,742 --> 00:10:07,283 why don't I just bring the OctoPipers? 254 00:10:07,284 --> 00:10:10,366 New name to come, though it's pretty popular around here. 255 00:10:10,789 --> 00:10:13,474 Uh, they can talk to K-Hole. 256 00:10:13,826 --> 00:10:15,727 Tell them why they joined. 257 00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:18,149 Allowing you to speak less? 258 00:10:18,908 --> 00:10:20,616 Good strategy. Alright. 259 00:10:20,617 --> 00:10:22,784 K-Hole will be expecting you this afternoon. 260 00:10:24,033 --> 00:10:25,367 Knock 'em dead, Richard. 261 00:10:27,158 --> 00:10:29,784 Whatever you are doing, stop it now. 262 00:10:31,284 --> 00:10:34,288 Um, yeah. We're just... high-fiving. 263 00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:35,616 Bye. 264 00:10:35,617 --> 00:10:37,116 K-Hole. I can't believe it! 265 00:10:37,117 --> 00:10:39,157 I'm bursting. I'm bursting! 266 00:10:39,158 --> 00:10:41,199 Um, here, I printed driving directions. 267 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,949 Oh, it's okay, I got my phone. 268 00:10:42,950 --> 00:10:45,116 Well, I have marked available bathrooms along the route. 269 00:10:49,867 --> 00:10:51,533 Okay, here we go. 270 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:54,714 Richard, you never return my calls. 271 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:57,116 You mean the hundreds of voicemails you've left 272 00:10:57,117 --> 00:11:00,356 where you just called me a terrible CEO with no dick? 273 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,741 Yes! You're talking to other companies. 274 00:11:02,742 --> 00:11:05,241 That is not public information. 275 00:11:05,242 --> 00:11:07,366 I'm a part owner in Pied Piper. 276 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:10,283 You need to make a deal with my companies. 277 00:11:10,494 --> 00:11:12,825 You mean your incubator's spurious knock-offs 278 00:11:12,826 --> 00:11:15,032 of legitimate American businesses? 279 00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:18,324 "New Expedia,"New Snapchat,"New Zillow"? 280 00:11:18,325 --> 00:11:20,160 But they're for Chinese market. 281 00:11:20,742 --> 00:11:22,991 It's a very sophisticated strategy. 282 00:11:23,175 --> 00:11:25,157 Okay, look, taking existing companies 283 00:11:25,158 --> 00:11:28,533 and just calling them "new" isn't sophisticated. That's theft. 284 00:11:28,690 --> 00:11:30,182 You make a new Internet. 285 00:11:32,284 --> 00:11:33,616 That is different. 286 00:11:33,617 --> 00:11:35,283 I... Look, we're not gonna make any deals 287 00:11:35,284 --> 00:11:36,970 with any of your companies, okay? 288 00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:41,975 Don't pick up. 289 00:11:44,992 --> 00:11:46,985 Richard, hello. 290 00:11:47,324 --> 00:11:48,532 It's Jian-Yang. 291 00:11:48,659 --> 00:11:51,537 You are a shitty CEO. 292 00:11:53,867 --> 00:11:56,926 As long as I own 10% of Pied Piper, 293 00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:59,241 I will make chaos. 294 00:12:00,003 --> 00:12:01,049 Okay. 295 00:12:02,492 --> 00:12:03,949 I thought you hated that car. 296 00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:06,491 Aviato car smells like a dead pig. 297 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:09,867 You're aware that Russ Hanneman urinated in that car, no? 298 00:12:11,158 --> 00:12:12,199 This car? 299 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,200 Mm-hmm. 300 00:12:16,809 --> 00:12:17,809 Uh... 301 00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:19,974 - are you just gonna leave it here? - Yes. 302 00:12:19,975 --> 00:12:20,941 Well... 303 00:12:22,246 --> 00:12:23,474 looks like I have a reason to find 304 00:12:23,475 --> 00:12:25,260 Pied Piper's official towing company. 305 00:12:25,285 --> 00:12:26,534 I'm gonna get some bids. 306 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:27,790 Yeah, while you're at it, 307 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,165 see if you can find someone to bash that guy's face in. 308 00:12:30,762 --> 00:12:33,290 Uh, I-I can do some research. 309 00:12:38,957 --> 00:12:41,385 Maybe turn your phone off during the meeting. 310 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,331 You're a shitty CEO! 311 00:12:49,416 --> 00:12:51,457 Thanks again, Colin, for having us. 312 00:12:51,458 --> 00:12:53,206 Uh, the fact that a company like yours 313 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,831 with such a pristine reputation it sitting down with us 314 00:12:55,832 --> 00:12:57,623 is, honestly, incredibly flattering. 315 00:12:57,769 --> 00:12:58,789 It's cool. 316 00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,248 Ooh, wow. 317 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:02,707 - That'll be a closed casket. - Yeah. 318 00:13:02,708 --> 00:13:04,206 Alright, well, we thought the best way 319 00:13:04,207 --> 00:13:05,166 to introduce the Pipernet 320 00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:07,331 would be through the eight developers 321 00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:08,542 that have already signed on. 322 00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,624 Who we are calling the OctoPipers. 323 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:13,059 That's dumb. 324 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:16,142 Um, anyway, let's introduce you to the group. 325 00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,935 Um, we've got a great analytics tool 326 00:13:18,936 --> 00:13:20,726 by a former Google guru. 327 00:13:20,727 --> 00:13:22,559 - Wish I'd have thought of that one. - Cool. 328 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,309 Uh, music streaming with an AI taste predictor 329 00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:26,756 that is off the charts. 330 00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:27,977 Good space. 331 00:13:27,978 --> 00:13:30,476 Yes, and this handsome devil over here, 332 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,949 is creating a very promising gay dating site. 333 00:13:33,161 --> 00:13:34,168 That's cool. 334 00:13:34,193 --> 00:13:36,142 Yeah, but don't worry, he's not snobby about it. 335 00:13:36,143 --> 00:13:37,434 He's actually pretty boring. 336 00:13:37,435 --> 00:13:39,309 I don't mean that as an insult. Those are his words. 337 00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:41,518 Long-term relationship. Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink. 338 00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:43,831 And him and his man go to church every Sunday. 339 00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:44,983 So... 340 00:13:45,852 --> 00:13:47,756 loves Bible studies, right? 341 00:13:48,014 --> 00:13:50,388 Just a straight-up boring, ordinary guy, 342 00:13:50,389 --> 00:13:51,710 but obviously not straight. 343 00:13:52,025 --> 00:13:55,182 Very gay, and also a Christian, right? 344 00:13:56,389 --> 00:13:58,263 Okay, so, that went well. 345 00:13:58,264 --> 00:14:00,692 It started out a little weird, but things really picked up... 346 00:14:00,717 --> 00:14:01,668 Why did you do that? 347 00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:03,555 - Why did you say that? - Say what? 348 00:14:03,556 --> 00:14:05,555 Richard, you just told a room full of tech people 349 00:14:05,556 --> 00:14:06,888 that I'm a Christian. 350 00:14:07,339 --> 00:14:08,361 Oh. 351 00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:10,263 Okay, but... But you are, aren't you? 352 00:14:10,264 --> 00:14:12,597 Yes, but I told you that in confidence. 353 00:14:12,598 --> 00:14:14,056 I said "between you and me." 354 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,517 I'm not openly Christian. 355 00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:18,743 Thanks a lot, man. 356 00:14:18,743 --> 00:14:19,784 You just outed me. 357 00:14:19,785 --> 00:14:21,674 Oh, I'm sorry, Deedee. I didn't... 358 00:14:22,243 --> 00:14:25,242 Okay, um, should we hug? 359 00:14:25,243 --> 00:14:27,118 I can not make it weird this time. 360 00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:31,826 I'm... I'm sorry, Richard. 361 00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:33,659 You know that my default position 362 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:35,783 is blind support of whatever you do, but... 363 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,117 this was not your best moment. 364 00:14:38,118 --> 00:14:40,242 Guys, it can't be that big of a deal, right? 365 00:14:40,243 --> 00:14:41,492 Why should it be? 366 00:14:41,493 --> 00:14:43,001 America loves Christians. 367 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,233 Muslims are the enemy. 368 00:14:44,368 --> 00:14:46,117 Well, that's true in most of America, 369 00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:48,480 but not in Silicon Valley, sadly. 370 00:14:48,702 --> 00:14:51,534 "Sadly"? You can be openly polyamorous. 371 00:14:51,535 --> 00:14:53,659 And people here will call you brave. 372 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,951 You can put micro-doses of LSD in your cereal, 373 00:14:56,952 --> 00:14:58,659 and... and people will call you a pioneer. 374 00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:02,283 But the one thing you cannot be is a Christian. 375 00:15:02,284 --> 00:15:04,325 I find their theology to be illegitimate, 376 00:15:04,326 --> 00:15:06,575 and it's clear that they are the source 377 00:15:06,576 --> 00:15:08,617 of the majority of the world's problems. 378 00:15:08,618 --> 00:15:10,359 But, fuck, Richard, even I wouldn't just... 379 00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:12,659 out a Christian like that. 380 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,450 Yeah, it was kinda fucked up. 381 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,717 Cool man, thanks. 382 00:15:17,535 --> 00:15:20,200 Hey, I thought he wasn't supposed to chime in. 383 00:15:20,201 --> 00:15:21,665 Yeah, he's not, but... 384 00:15:23,201 --> 00:15:25,033 based on its merits, I'll allow that one. 385 00:15:25,034 --> 00:15:27,409 Guys, come on. 386 00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:28,733 It can't be that bad. 387 00:15:28,734 --> 00:15:29,840 Richard! 388 00:15:30,025 --> 00:15:32,275 What the fuck did you do over there? 389 00:15:32,276 --> 00:15:35,567 So I just got off the phone with Colin over at K-Hole, 390 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,108 and while he loves your tech, 391 00:15:37,109 --> 00:15:38,899 he's considering blowing up the deal. 392 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:39,900 What? 393 00:15:39,901 --> 00:15:41,899 Just because one of my CEOs is Christian? 394 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,733 It freaks people out in the Valley! 395 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,351 Okay, so what do you want me to do, Monica? 396 00:15:46,376 --> 00:15:48,703 You want me to drop Deedee just because he's Christian? 397 00:15:48,818 --> 00:15:50,942 The company's not Christian. It's gay... 398 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:52,925 which is fine, right? 399 00:15:52,926 --> 00:15:54,800 Yeah! No, that... That plays great. 400 00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:57,759 Look, cutting all ties to Deedee and FirstSight 401 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:00,156 will definitely send a strong message to Colin. 402 00:16:00,301 --> 00:16:01,633 And it might be the only way. 403 00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:04,133 Like killing somebody to prove you're not a narc, 404 00:16:04,134 --> 00:16:06,133 or showing a john your genitals 405 00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:08,009 to prove you're a legitimate male prostitute 406 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,175 and not an undercover cop. 407 00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,705 - What? - Because cops aren't allowed to do that. 408 00:16:11,759 --> 00:16:13,341 And worst case scenario, 409 00:16:13,342 --> 00:16:15,175 the john walks off with a free peek. 410 00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:17,634 Oh, that's the towing company. Excuse me. 411 00:16:18,801 --> 00:16:20,111 Forget it. 412 00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,653 Monica, I'm not doing it. 413 00:16:21,865 --> 00:16:23,861 I mean, I'm not dropping him. 414 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:25,694 Alright. Fine. 415 00:16:25,696 --> 00:16:27,612 Fine. I-I will call Colin, 416 00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:29,403 and try and smooth things over for you, 417 00:16:29,404 --> 00:16:31,111 but you need to handle Deedee. 418 00:16:31,112 --> 00:16:33,487 Okay, apologize for outing him, of course, 419 00:16:33,488 --> 00:16:36,320 but you need to make sure he keeps quiet about this. 420 00:16:36,321 --> 00:16:38,361 Alright, 'cause it's not just about losing K-Hole, 421 00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:39,737 it's way worse than that. 422 00:16:39,895 --> 00:16:40,986 Let's put it this way. 423 00:16:40,987 --> 00:16:42,986 Would you want to go from being a rock band 424 00:16:42,987 --> 00:16:46,571 to being... a Christian rock band? 425 00:16:47,738 --> 00:16:48,745 Oh, shit. 426 00:16:49,245 --> 00:16:51,991 "The bear is sticky with honey." 427 00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:54,320 Those were his exact words. 428 00:16:54,321 --> 00:16:55,528 But what does that mean? 429 00:16:55,529 --> 00:16:57,236 Well, Gavin speaks in parables. 430 00:16:57,237 --> 00:16:59,274 I think what Gavin is saying is... 431 00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:01,445 "consider the bear." 432 00:17:01,741 --> 00:17:03,916 And all this pizazz is like the honey. 433 00:17:04,203 --> 00:17:05,771 And it's become too sticky. 434 00:17:06,449 --> 00:17:07,865 There's too much of it. It's all over him. 435 00:17:07,866 --> 00:17:10,469 Incorrect. No, see, the whole launch is the bear, 436 00:17:10,783 --> 00:17:12,531 and the honey is the pizazz. 437 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,170 The bear needs more pizazz. 438 00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:16,836 The bear is ravenous for pizazz. 439 00:17:16,837 --> 00:17:18,169 You don't speak for Gavin. 440 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,595 I don't need to. This is the word of Gavin. 441 00:17:20,595 --> 00:17:22,035 Alright, forget it. 442 00:17:22,184 --> 00:17:24,094 - You do it your way, I'll do it mine. - Okay, fine. 443 00:17:24,247 --> 00:17:26,345 Gonna show you. Make it clear for all of you. 444 00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,362 Okay, follow me. 445 00:17:27,456 --> 00:17:29,663 Well, congratulations on becoming 446 00:17:29,664 --> 00:17:31,701 Pied Piper's official towing company. 447 00:17:31,831 --> 00:17:33,280 Uh-huh, yeah, great. 448 00:17:33,497 --> 00:17:34,621 So should I bill this to you, 449 00:17:34,622 --> 00:17:37,037 or is Mr. Bighetti gonna take care of it? 450 00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,870 "Bighetti"? It's registered under his name. 451 00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:40,982 I'm sorry. Can I...? 452 00:17:46,997 --> 00:17:48,760 Anyway, it was a mistake. 453 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,092 I'm sorry I outed you. 454 00:17:50,093 --> 00:17:51,718 I just wish we could go back to normal. 455 00:17:51,719 --> 00:17:54,092 You know, just like, how things were. 456 00:17:54,093 --> 00:17:55,681 A CEO and a gay CEO. 457 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,824 I don't even know what normal is anymore, Richard. 458 00:17:57,886 --> 00:18:00,010 It's been such a crazy 24 hours, you know? 459 00:18:00,011 --> 00:18:02,405 Gossip travels so fast in the Valley. 460 00:18:02,504 --> 00:18:04,485 I'll be lucky if my parents ever talk to me again. 461 00:18:04,485 --> 00:18:05,786 Your parents aren't Christian? 462 00:18:06,027 --> 00:18:07,276 I'm from Palo Alto. 463 00:18:07,277 --> 00:18:09,652 You know, my dad says my lifestyle makes him sick. 464 00:18:10,277 --> 00:18:11,777 He just wants his gay son back. 465 00:18:11,778 --> 00:18:13,902 And he's okay with the gay part? 466 00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:15,417 - He's gay. - Oh. 467 00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:16,749 But the crazy part is, 468 00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:19,158 when I finally got home and I got in bed, 469 00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:21,999 I had the soundest sleep I've had in years. 470 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,992 - Exhaustion. - No! Relief, Richard. 471 00:18:24,992 --> 00:18:26,492 I'm out, okay? 472 00:18:26,493 --> 00:18:27,700 My nightmare's over. 473 00:18:27,701 --> 00:18:29,789 I don't ever have to go back in the closet again, 474 00:18:29,814 --> 00:18:32,159 and I've got you to thank for it. 475 00:18:34,159 --> 00:18:35,159 Check it out. 476 00:18:36,576 --> 00:18:38,492 Oh, oh, oh. 477 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:39,548 You like it? 478 00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:42,909 It's good. I guess... maybe it's just a little busy? 479 00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:44,950 Like, um, there's one word too many. 480 00:18:44,951 --> 00:18:47,325 One word? Well, I like the gay part. 481 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:48,825 If anything, it could be more gay. 482 00:18:48,826 --> 00:18:50,533 You should gay it up, 483 00:18:50,534 --> 00:18:52,608 and then, I like the "proud" part. 484 00:18:52,951 --> 00:18:54,539 It's just the... 485 00:18:54,962 --> 00:18:55,991 Christian part. 486 00:18:56,337 --> 00:18:58,408 Look, Richard, this is great, 487 00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:01,492 because now I can be gay and a Christian. 488 00:19:01,493 --> 00:19:02,721 Or just be gay! 489 00:19:03,284 --> 00:19:05,200 You know, you could be a... a twink. 490 00:19:05,201 --> 00:19:06,367 A bear, an otter. 491 00:19:06,368 --> 00:19:08,408 A circuit queen, a chub, a pup. 492 00:19:08,409 --> 00:19:10,033 A gipster, a daddy chaser, 493 00:19:10,034 --> 00:19:11,492 a leatherman, a lady boy. 494 00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:12,742 You could be a Donald Duck, 495 00:19:12,743 --> 00:19:14,784 which is a gay guy who got kicked out of the Navy. 496 00:19:14,785 --> 00:19:15,991 Yeah, I... I know what it is. 497 00:19:15,992 --> 00:19:17,325 How do you know so many gay things? 498 00:19:17,636 --> 00:19:19,534 I worked with a guy. 499 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:22,194 Just... 500 00:19:22,743 --> 00:19:23,905 don't be a Christian. 501 00:19:24,268 --> 00:19:25,441 Wow. 502 00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,200 After all you put me through, 503 00:19:27,201 --> 00:19:28,909 it turns out, you're biased too. 504 00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:30,467 No! No, no, no! I'm not! 505 00:19:30,576 --> 00:19:32,681 I swear to you I'm not. I'm chill AF. 506 00:19:33,076 --> 00:19:34,283 It's just everybody else. 507 00:19:34,284 --> 00:19:37,575 Look, if you go Christian, I lose K-Hole games. 508 00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,950 I cannot let that happen. I know it sucks. 509 00:19:39,951 --> 00:19:41,700 It's shitty, but it's the truth. 510 00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:43,498 I'm gonna make things easy for you, Richard. 511 00:19:44,288 --> 00:19:45,369 I'm out. 512 00:19:46,461 --> 00:19:48,072 - Of the closet? - No! 513 00:19:48,258 --> 00:19:49,692 The new Internet! 514 00:19:50,254 --> 00:19:52,075 The Internet you said was gonna be... What was it? 515 00:19:52,076 --> 00:19:54,617 "The first truly free and open Internet." 516 00:19:54,618 --> 00:19:55,909 Open for everyone. 517 00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:57,283 Whatever happened to that, huh? 518 00:19:58,743 --> 00:19:59,938 Nice place. 519 00:20:00,138 --> 00:20:01,554 Oh, thanks, yeah. 520 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,788 Oh, wow! That's a nice touch. 521 00:20:04,076 --> 00:20:05,325 Yeah, thanks! 522 00:20:05,326 --> 00:20:07,909 The Monterey Bay Aquarium was testing their sonar, 523 00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:11,044 and found this thing, like, two miles under the ocean. 524 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,283 And I figure, Erlich and I already bought it, 525 00:20:13,284 --> 00:20:14,825 so I might as well hold onto it. 526 00:20:14,826 --> 00:20:16,742 Plus, it weighs like 8,000 pounds, 527 00:20:16,743 --> 00:20:18,450 so I couldn't move it if I wanted to. 528 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,616 Well, and it also kinda works as your mascot. 529 00:20:20,785 --> 00:20:22,156 Right? 'Cause of your name? 530 00:20:22,284 --> 00:20:23,992 Oh, yeah, 'cause "Nelson." 531 00:20:24,843 --> 00:20:26,766 Oh, I meant because it's a big head. 532 00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:29,729 I guess that works, too. 533 00:20:30,743 --> 00:20:31,953 So, what's up, man? 534 00:20:32,076 --> 00:20:34,367 Um, well, I wanted to ask you... 535 00:20:34,368 --> 00:20:36,041 Oh! Big Head! 536 00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,155 Now I get it. 537 00:20:38,409 --> 00:20:40,283 Sorry. Is... is it possible 538 00:20:40,284 --> 00:20:42,950 that the general partnership that you formed with Erlich 539 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,241 is still in effect? 540 00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:45,807 Oh. No way. 541 00:20:46,117 --> 00:20:47,893 You definitely dissolved it? 542 00:20:47,893 --> 00:20:49,309 Yeah, my dad insisted. 543 00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:52,225 I remember he filled out this whole form for me, 544 00:20:52,226 --> 00:20:53,350 and made me sign it, 545 00:20:53,351 --> 00:20:54,809 mail it in and everything. 546 00:20:54,810 --> 00:20:57,892 Yeah, 'cause I... I remember I had the paperwork in one hand, 547 00:20:57,893 --> 00:21:00,093 and the menu for Mr. Chow's in the other. 548 00:21:00,118 --> 00:21:01,160 And then... 549 00:21:13,643 --> 00:21:15,017 Oh, no way! 550 00:21:15,636 --> 00:21:16,642 Still have the paperwork. 551 00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,767 Guess I must have sent the menu. 552 00:21:18,768 --> 00:21:21,017 Big Head, this is great news. 553 00:21:21,018 --> 00:21:22,183 Gavin? 554 00:21:22,184 --> 00:21:23,851 I think you're really going to love the changes 555 00:21:23,852 --> 00:21:25,309 that my team has made to the presentation. 556 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,627 I think you might like ours even better. 557 00:21:28,059 --> 00:21:29,601 Sorry, what changes? 558 00:21:29,602 --> 00:21:30,851 We are presenting two paths, 559 00:21:30,852 --> 00:21:33,100 and you alone will decide which one we walk, Gavin. 560 00:21:33,101 --> 00:21:34,601 What the fuck are you talking about? 561 00:21:34,602 --> 00:21:36,434 I thought the presentation was fine as it is. 562 00:21:36,991 --> 00:21:38,767 - Wait. What? - You did? 563 00:21:38,958 --> 00:21:40,208 Goddammit! 564 00:21:40,727 --> 00:21:42,017 Why is this still here? 565 00:21:42,018 --> 00:21:43,851 I said it was too sticky. 566 00:21:43,852 --> 00:21:46,017 Don't you listen to anything I say? 567 00:21:47,101 --> 00:21:49,100 - The bear... - Sticky with honey. 568 00:21:49,577 --> 00:21:50,892 So what did you change? 569 00:21:51,124 --> 00:21:52,475 Uh, the spotlight. 570 00:21:52,476 --> 00:21:54,851 Yes! We're making it wider just like you asked. 571 00:21:54,969 --> 00:21:56,053 Good. 572 00:21:56,152 --> 00:21:58,218 You know what? Let's show you to your dressing room. 573 00:21:58,219 --> 00:21:59,926 Yeah. And whenever you're ready, you let us know, 574 00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:01,364 we'll show you that spotlight, huh? 575 00:22:01,418 --> 00:22:03,385 - You're gonna love it. - We did it! 576 00:22:03,386 --> 00:22:05,717 We had to fly him in from Tucson, but we got the bear. 577 00:22:10,271 --> 00:22:12,176 Gavin hates the bear. You failed! 578 00:22:12,443 --> 00:22:14,030 Put everything back the way it was. 579 00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:15,718 And widen the spotlight! 580 00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:17,952 Guess what, asshole. 581 00:22:18,193 --> 00:22:19,859 Leon told me he wanted your ticket, 582 00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:22,902 'cause he wants to go see BattleBots with me. 583 00:22:24,193 --> 00:22:26,484 But then he remembered he actually had plans that night 584 00:22:26,485 --> 00:22:28,817 with a bunch of people, doesn't know what they're doing, 585 00:22:28,818 --> 00:22:29,859 their plans are sort of fluid, 586 00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:31,901 plus, it's like friends from his old work, 587 00:22:31,902 --> 00:22:33,693 so it'd be weird if I hung out with them. 588 00:22:34,735 --> 00:22:35,846 Anyway... 589 00:22:36,234 --> 00:22:39,525 looks like you and I are going to see BattleBots. 590 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,942 You're going to hang out with me, 591 00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:42,734 and have fun, whether you like it or not. 592 00:22:42,735 --> 00:22:45,007 And what goes best with BattleBots? 593 00:22:45,735 --> 00:22:47,464 That's right. Chicken wings. 594 00:22:47,984 --> 00:22:51,852 That's why you get a sweet $50 gift card to Dave & Buster's. 595 00:22:52,565 --> 00:22:54,859 Serves you right for fucking us over. 596 00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:56,234 Wash your fucking hair. 597 00:22:57,943 --> 00:23:00,262 And you know what happens when I get drunk, Jeff? 598 00:23:01,109 --> 00:23:02,816 I get so sincere. 599 00:23:03,276 --> 00:23:04,602 It's really awkward. 600 00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:06,314 Fuck you, Jeff. 601 00:23:06,485 --> 00:23:07,859 Oh, um, can you drive? 602 00:23:10,092 --> 00:23:12,442 Well, I spoke to La Flamme, 603 00:23:12,443 --> 00:23:13,464 and it's official. 604 00:23:13,652 --> 00:23:16,296 Big Head is still legally Erlich's next of kin. 605 00:23:16,401 --> 00:23:18,439 So Jian-Yang's whole gambit was for naught. 606 00:23:19,401 --> 00:23:20,609 Wow, really? 607 00:23:20,610 --> 00:23:23,317 Big Head owns Erlich's house, and 10% of Pied Piper. 608 00:23:23,318 --> 00:23:26,025 I called the sheriff and started eviction proceedings. 609 00:23:26,198 --> 00:23:27,656 We're gonna get everything back. 610 00:23:27,855 --> 00:23:31,657 Oh, also, the, uh, OctoPipers are arriving for the meeting. 611 00:23:31,865 --> 00:23:34,155 It's a good thing that FirstSight dropped out, right? 612 00:23:34,156 --> 00:23:35,906 'Cause we're back down to eight developers, 613 00:23:35,907 --> 00:23:37,405 so you can keep that name. 614 00:23:37,406 --> 00:23:39,578 Actually, uh, no, we can't. 615 00:23:41,049 --> 00:23:42,159 Wait, what? 616 00:23:42,865 --> 00:23:44,670 - I'm glad this worked out. - Yeah. 617 00:23:44,824 --> 00:23:46,152 Thanks for dropping FirstSight. 618 00:23:46,323 --> 00:23:48,572 Jesus, my board would have nailed me to a cross. 619 00:23:48,573 --> 00:23:51,853 Well, I think we're just about ready to get going here, uh... 620 00:23:52,406 --> 00:23:53,489 Oh. Hey! 621 00:23:53,490 --> 00:23:55,477 Oh, good, there he is. What's he doing here? 622 00:23:55,619 --> 00:23:59,547 He is here because I asked him to be. 623 00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:02,178 I want him to be one of our developers. 624 00:24:02,178 --> 00:24:04,160 What? No! Fuck that guy! 625 00:24:04,364 --> 00:24:05,585 Hey, man, how's it goin'? 626 00:24:05,971 --> 00:24:07,387 - Richard. - Deedee. 627 00:24:07,388 --> 00:24:08,679 - Can I talk to you? - Yeah! 628 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,127 No, no, no. Actually, look! 629 00:24:10,346 --> 00:24:11,706 Look, guys, I... 630 00:24:12,179 --> 00:24:14,845 I asked you to be a part of this 631 00:24:14,846 --> 00:24:18,077 because I thought you were willing to take a chance 632 00:24:18,346 --> 00:24:19,735 on my idea. 633 00:24:19,735 --> 00:24:21,609 An entirely new Internet. 634 00:24:21,610 --> 00:24:23,567 An Internet that is everything 635 00:24:23,568 --> 00:24:26,253 the old Internet is supposed to be, but isn't. 636 00:24:26,401 --> 00:24:28,734 Truly free and truly open. 637 00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:30,317 Well, I'm sorry, gang. 638 00:24:30,897 --> 00:24:33,268 Truly open means "open to everyone." 639 00:24:33,580 --> 00:24:36,400 No matter how repugnant their views are. 640 00:24:36,401 --> 00:24:38,317 How ignorant or stupid, 641 00:24:38,318 --> 00:24:40,525 or, to be honest, totally fucking wrong. 642 00:24:40,526 --> 00:24:42,483 And, look, who are we to judge, right? 643 00:24:42,484 --> 00:24:43,941 There's some people out there that believe 644 00:24:43,942 --> 00:24:45,941 that we're living in a computer simulation. 645 00:24:45,942 --> 00:24:47,984 Well, that is supported by the evidence. 646 00:24:49,109 --> 00:24:50,067 What? 647 00:24:50,068 --> 00:24:52,233 Uh, it's basic probability theory. 648 00:24:52,234 --> 00:24:54,576 Right, uh, Richard, can I talk to you for just a sec? 649 00:24:54,601 --> 00:24:55,654 Yes, of course. 650 00:24:56,818 --> 00:24:59,191 Uh, that's bullshit actually. 651 00:24:59,192 --> 00:25:00,275 It's been disproven. 652 00:25:00,276 --> 00:25:01,609 But why does that even matter? 653 00:25:01,610 --> 00:25:03,859 In a few years, we'll all be working for robots. 654 00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:05,317 No, that's stupid. 655 00:25:05,318 --> 00:25:06,650 The robots will be working for us. 656 00:25:06,651 --> 00:25:08,483 Robots? Who gives a fuck about robots? 657 00:25:08,484 --> 00:25:10,900 It's the artificial super intelligence we should be worried about. 658 00:25:10,901 --> 00:25:12,483 Exactly, and that's why we have to stop it. 659 00:25:12,484 --> 00:25:14,650 Stop it? No, that's the us I'm talking about. 660 00:25:14,651 --> 00:25:16,525 We have to bring it into existence. 661 00:25:16,526 --> 00:25:19,400 Otherwise, it'll find out who didn't believe in it, and punish them. 662 00:25:19,401 --> 00:25:21,019 - Right. - Guys, I was wrong. 663 00:25:21,651 --> 00:25:23,850 Um, Deedee is... 664 00:25:24,192 --> 00:25:27,400 not in. He's actually very much out. 665 00:25:27,401 --> 00:25:28,446 So... 666 00:25:28,735 --> 00:25:30,578 do-over on the whole speech. 667 00:25:31,276 --> 00:25:32,650 Fuck that guy! 668 00:25:32,651 --> 00:25:34,025 Christians suck! 669 00:25:34,026 --> 00:25:36,859 And, uh, here's a good side effect though. 670 00:25:36,860 --> 00:25:38,901 Uh, we all get to keep the name OctoPipers. 671 00:25:41,627 --> 00:25:44,355 You know what? Why don't we just take a quick five? 672 00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:46,734 And then, we'll BRB, 673 00:25:46,735 --> 00:25:48,442 and then, go teams. 674 00:25:48,443 --> 00:25:50,443 So just... let's have a... 675 00:25:54,067 --> 00:25:55,567 What just happened? 676 00:25:55,568 --> 00:25:56,847 Deedee's out? 677 00:25:57,568 --> 00:25:59,442 Yeah, well, he said 678 00:25:59,443 --> 00:26:01,900 that right after he bailed on us, 679 00:26:01,901 --> 00:26:05,066 he went out and made a deal with our competitor. 680 00:26:05,344 --> 00:26:09,067 - But we don't have any competitors. - Richard? 681 00:26:11,526 --> 00:26:13,191 Fuckin' Jian-Yang. 682 00:26:13,192 --> 00:26:15,400 I'm gonna tear him a new asshole. 683 00:26:15,401 --> 00:26:18,358 It wasn't enough to do New Snapchat or New Expedia, 684 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:20,233 he had to do New Pied Piper too? 685 00:26:20,234 --> 00:26:21,692 Where did he get our code? 686 00:26:21,693 --> 00:26:23,609 He was always stealing snacks from the office. 687 00:26:23,610 --> 00:26:25,317 He could've lifted it from anywhere. 688 00:26:25,318 --> 00:26:27,604 I guess that's what happened to my lavender cheese. 689 00:26:27,735 --> 00:26:29,569 Jian-Yang! Open up! 690 00:26:35,401 --> 00:26:36,734 What the fuck? 691 00:26:36,735 --> 00:26:39,435 Why does every home I've ever loved get stripped? 692 00:26:40,693 --> 00:26:43,106 Is that Erlich in the bucket? 693 00:26:50,443 --> 00:26:51,609 Uh... 694 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:52,614 "Richard... 695 00:26:52,942 --> 00:26:56,761 "Hello, I went to China to do new new Internet. 696 00:26:59,610 --> 00:27:01,629 "Thank you. Enjoy your house. 697 00:27:02,192 --> 00:27:03,338 "I love you. 698 00:27:04,083 --> 00:27:05,157 Jian-Yang."