1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:02,755 We found the mole. 2 00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:05,381 - Who? How? - There's no way Jeff is the 3 00:00:05,411 --> 00:00:07,111 mole, okay? It's not Jeff. 4 00:00:07,856 --> 00:00:09,319 Jeff? 5 00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:14,819 Next Tuesday Gavin Belson is launching his Box Three. 6 00:00:14,886 --> 00:00:16,788 Gavin B. 7 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:19,987 It's bold. 8 00:00:20,692 --> 00:00:23,793 You need it to make a deal with my company. 9 00:00:23,861 --> 00:00:26,296 Taking existing companies and just calling them new isn't 10 00:00:26,364 --> 00:00:28,619 sophisticated that's theft. 11 00:00:28,649 --> 00:00:30,329 You make a new Internet. 12 00:00:30,902 --> 00:00:32,202 It's different. 13 00:00:32,337 --> 00:00:33,437 Where did he get our code? 14 00:00:33,504 --> 00:00:34,771 "I went to China to" 15 00:00:34,839 --> 00:00:36,539 do new new Internet. 16 00:00:36,607 --> 00:00:37,657 "Jian Yang." 17 00:00:48,617 --> 00:00:49,916 Thanks for coming along, Jared. 18 00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:50,984 I just... 19 00:00:51,019 --> 00:00:53,686 I started picturing myself going on camera alone, and... 20 00:00:53,722 --> 00:00:55,322 Yeah, I'm happy to be here. 21 00:00:55,567 --> 00:00:58,774 I-I did have to cancel a speaking engagement this afternoon, 22 00:00:58,804 --> 00:01:01,972 with an underprivileged middle school computer education class, 23 00:01:02,007 --> 00:01:04,907 but I suppose being abandoned by a role model 24 00:01:04,943 --> 00:01:07,381 is in itself an important life lesson. 25 00:01:07,661 --> 00:01:09,561 - You guys are up next. - Oh, boy. 26 00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,229 - Hey, Jared? - Yeah? 27 00:01:11,265 --> 00:01:13,555 Um, if Emily Chang asks me a question, 28 00:01:13,585 --> 00:01:15,867 and it looks like I'm gonna have a panic attack, 29 00:01:15,902 --> 00:01:17,236 then you should just jump in there. 30 00:01:17,271 --> 00:01:19,238 You're gonna be fine. Look at you! 31 00:01:19,273 --> 00:01:21,931 You've got the hair of Giovanni Ribisi, 32 00:01:21,961 --> 00:01:24,818 and the complexion of Timothy Hutton, 33 00:01:24,848 --> 00:01:26,616 and the eyes of Joni Mitchell. 34 00:01:26,646 --> 00:01:29,447 You're like a... a Mr. Potato Head of beautiful people. 35 00:01:29,482 --> 00:01:31,081 Plus, this is a pre-tape, 36 00:01:31,117 --> 00:01:32,883 so if anything terrible happens, 37 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:34,418 they can always edit it out. 38 00:01:34,454 --> 00:01:35,769 - Cool. - Okay, you're up. 39 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:36,903 Okay. 40 00:01:37,285 --> 00:01:39,171 Let's, uh, slap each other? 41 00:01:39,206 --> 00:01:40,639 - What? - No, no! 42 00:01:40,675 --> 00:01:42,641 - It's okay. We don't have... - Yeah. 43 00:01:42,677 --> 00:01:44,242 We will never sell you ads. 44 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:47,145 We will never collect or sell your information. 45 00:01:47,181 --> 00:01:49,247 And people like Gavin Belson 46 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,850 won't be able to profit off of it. 47 00:01:51,143 --> 00:01:53,752 So, when can people out there get onto your new Internet? 48 00:01:53,788 --> 00:01:56,387 Well, our team of hand-picked developers 49 00:01:56,422 --> 00:01:58,189 are currently building, um, 50 00:01:58,224 --> 00:02:00,128 what you might call a theme park. 51 00:02:00,158 --> 00:02:02,492 They are building the rides, the attractions. 52 00:02:02,527 --> 00:02:05,461 And they're making sure everything works flawlessly 53 00:02:05,497 --> 00:02:06,929 so that on day one, 54 00:02:06,964 --> 00:02:08,470 when the doors open to the public, 55 00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:12,644 they can have an absolutely game-changing experience. 56 00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,124 I like that analogy. 57 00:02:14,158 --> 00:02:16,258 Oh, well, thank you, Emily Chang. 58 00:02:16,294 --> 00:02:19,295 Now Jared Dunn, as Pied Piper's COO, 59 00:02:19,330 --> 00:02:21,130 what is foremost on your mind 60 00:02:21,165 --> 00:02:22,700 as you make this big announcement? 61 00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:24,414 Me? 62 00:02:24,669 --> 00:02:26,335 Yes, you, Jared. 63 00:02:26,969 --> 00:02:28,064 Manure. 64 00:02:29,474 --> 00:02:30,572 Pardon? 65 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:41,742 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 66 00:02:43,562 --> 00:02:44,913 Hey! How'd it go? 67 00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:47,767 Oh, well, you know, not that bad. 68 00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:50,257 Once I got out there, I think it went okay. 69 00:02:50,292 --> 00:02:52,926 "Okay"? He's selling himself short. Compared to me, 70 00:02:52,962 --> 00:02:55,128 - he was a regular Diane Sawyer. - Aw. 71 00:02:55,164 --> 00:02:56,530 - I don't know about that. - Richard? 72 00:02:56,566 --> 00:02:58,232 Bream-Hall's on the phone for you. 73 00:02:58,267 --> 00:03:00,167 Oh, finally, okay. Good. 74 00:03:02,638 --> 00:03:03,654 Hey. 75 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,673 Can you please tell me what you are going to do 76 00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,486 about this Jian-Yang situation? 77 00:03:09,092 --> 00:03:10,610 Yes, nothing. 78 00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:12,014 What? 79 00:03:12,044 --> 00:03:13,045 Sorry. 80 00:03:13,081 --> 00:03:14,700 What do you mean "nothing"? 81 00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:18,108 Richard, they're developing a gay Christian dating app 82 00:03:18,143 --> 00:03:20,181 on a platform that's been genetically engineered 83 00:03:20,211 --> 00:03:22,276 to be ideal for political dissidents. 84 00:03:22,312 --> 00:03:23,544 In China. 85 00:03:23,814 --> 00:03:25,639 If you lose to that, Richard, 86 00:03:26,144 --> 00:03:27,315 look inward. 87 00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:29,618 Alright, so, uh, did you just call me 88 00:03:29,653 --> 00:03:32,286 to tell me that you're doing nothing about that, or... 89 00:03:32,632 --> 00:03:34,255 No. We called to tell you 90 00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:36,658 that we are pairing you with a new developer. 91 00:03:36,693 --> 00:03:38,291 It's one of our portfolio companies 92 00:03:38,327 --> 00:03:39,760 and they're doing some really cool stuff. 93 00:03:39,795 --> 00:03:40,821 Eklow Labs. 94 00:03:40,851 --> 00:03:41,950 I'm sure they are, 95 00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:43,952 but we're kinda full up, so... 96 00:03:43,987 --> 00:03:47,088 We strongly encourage you to consider this. 97 00:03:48,359 --> 00:03:49,436 Okay. 98 00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:51,436 Let me just ask, uh, 99 00:03:51,829 --> 00:03:53,495 how much have you invested in this company? 100 00:03:54,314 --> 00:03:56,696 - I don't see how that's relevant. - $112 million. 101 00:03:59,402 --> 00:04:00,759 So, um... 102 00:04:01,337 --> 00:04:03,270 I don't really have a choice in this, do I? 103 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,138 Of course you do. 104 00:04:05,174 --> 00:04:07,641 You are completely within your rights 105 00:04:07,677 --> 00:04:11,201 to bitterly disappoint your largest investor. 106 00:04:14,148 --> 00:04:16,949 So... we cool? 107 00:04:19,254 --> 00:04:20,299 We cool. 108 00:04:21,055 --> 00:04:23,556 So, we're just giving a random company 109 00:04:23,592 --> 00:04:25,525 a bunch of free compute power on our network? 110 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,193 It's some company called Eklow, 111 00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:29,227 and apparently, they're a bigger deal than we are. 112 00:04:29,263 --> 00:04:31,697 As in Eklow Labs? The AI company? 113 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,264 Yeah, I guess. 114 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:34,873 And you said yes? 115 00:04:34,903 --> 00:04:36,435 I didn't really have a choice! 116 00:04:36,470 --> 00:04:38,971 Besides, I'm the only one who has the security privileges 117 00:04:39,007 --> 00:04:40,973 necessary to add or delete developers. 118 00:04:41,009 --> 00:04:43,409 Okay? So I'm the one that has to go over there and do all the work. 119 00:04:43,444 --> 00:04:44,758 I'm not worried about work. 120 00:04:45,579 --> 00:04:46,878 I'm worried about robots. 121 00:04:46,914 --> 00:04:49,881 - Oh! The Bloomberg piece is up. - Oh, great. 122 00:04:49,917 --> 00:04:51,449 Hey, uh, Danny, can we... 123 00:04:51,484 --> 00:04:53,451 Can we put the Bloomberg thing on the big screen? 124 00:04:53,929 --> 00:04:54,920 Hey, Jared! 125 00:04:54,955 --> 00:04:56,521 First time on Emily Chang, huh? 126 00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:57,856 That is my cue. 127 00:04:57,891 --> 00:04:59,457 Wait, what? You don't want to watch? 128 00:04:59,492 --> 00:05:00,592 Oh, God, no. 129 00:05:00,627 --> 00:05:02,126 No, I don't need to relive that. 130 00:05:02,162 --> 00:05:05,462 And besides, I have a lifelong aversion to my own image. 131 00:05:05,497 --> 00:05:07,798 You know, it's like my foster mother used to say, 132 00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:10,054 "Donald, you have a face for the closet." 133 00:05:11,604 --> 00:05:13,037 Alright, can everyone see? 134 00:05:13,072 --> 00:05:14,838 I'm here with Pied Piper CEO Richard Hendricks, 135 00:05:14,874 --> 00:05:17,374 and newly minted COO Jared Dunn. 136 00:05:17,409 --> 00:05:18,842 Today's a big day for you. 137 00:05:18,878 --> 00:05:20,892 Tell me what your new Internet is, 138 00:05:20,922 --> 00:05:23,279 and why Gavin Belson should be afraid of it. 139 00:05:24,348 --> 00:05:25,376 Manure. 140 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,349 - Pardon? - Oh. 141 00:05:27,844 --> 00:05:30,111 Weird. Okay, they went straight to Jared. 142 00:05:30,147 --> 00:05:31,612 I'm sure you're aware of the 143 00:05:31,648 --> 00:05:34,591 Great London Horse Manure Crisis of 1894. 144 00:05:34,621 --> 00:05:35,773 I'm afraid I'm not. 145 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,013 In the 1890s, 146 00:05:37,043 --> 00:05:40,545 the Industrial Revolution had people flocking to the city, 147 00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:42,847 and more people equals more horses, 148 00:05:42,883 --> 00:05:44,716 and more horses equals more manure. 149 00:05:44,751 --> 00:05:46,050 And it was predicted 150 00:05:46,085 --> 00:05:47,819 that by the middle of the next century, 151 00:05:47,854 --> 00:05:50,522 there would be nine feet of manure 152 00:05:50,557 --> 00:05:51,689 covering the streets. 153 00:05:51,725 --> 00:05:53,491 But what no one saw coming, 154 00:05:53,526 --> 00:05:55,091 was a new technology 155 00:05:55,127 --> 00:05:57,519 that would completely obliterate those concerns. 156 00:05:58,253 --> 00:05:59,252 The car. 157 00:05:59,469 --> 00:06:01,888 Over night, the manure problem vanished. 158 00:06:01,923 --> 00:06:04,456 And the Internet, as we currently know it, 159 00:06:04,492 --> 00:06:06,978 is rife with, uh, identity theft, 160 00:06:07,008 --> 00:06:08,907 and Spam and hacking. 161 00:06:08,943 --> 00:06:10,461 So, it's manure, 162 00:06:10,491 --> 00:06:12,473 and we believe that, in success, 163 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:15,208 our new, entirely de-centralized Internet, 164 00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:17,994 will be just as significant as the car. 165 00:06:18,262 --> 00:06:19,210 Hmm! 166 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,173 Now back to me for my theme park analogy. 167 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,558 Thanks for coming in, guys. Up next... 168 00:06:23,777 --> 00:06:24,809 What? 169 00:06:24,844 --> 00:06:26,043 Wow. 170 00:06:26,079 --> 00:06:27,074 Jared landed it! 171 00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:28,447 That was great! 172 00:06:29,311 --> 00:06:30,944 Jared was so good! 173 00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:33,780 I guess they must have gotten rid of my stuff for time. 174 00:06:33,816 --> 00:06:36,102 Yeah, they try and keep it just to the interesting stuff. 175 00:06:36,132 --> 00:06:37,589 Yeah. Yeah, guess so. 176 00:06:38,237 --> 00:06:41,216 Up next, the conversation every parent dreads. 177 00:06:41,474 --> 00:06:44,242 How to talk to your kids about the block chain. 178 00:06:44,277 --> 00:06:46,809 Sir, I had no idea they were this far along. 179 00:06:46,845 --> 00:06:47,936 I don't know what to say. 180 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,500 My mole has failed us. 181 00:06:50,115 --> 00:06:52,148 I've never been more sorry in my entire life. 182 00:06:52,356 --> 00:06:53,717 You must be furious. 183 00:06:54,525 --> 00:06:55,791 That's the thing. 184 00:06:56,757 --> 00:06:57,785 I'm not. 185 00:06:58,863 --> 00:07:00,491 Y-you're not? Why not? 186 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:03,163 I don't know. 187 00:07:03,785 --> 00:07:05,789 What's the point of any of this? 188 00:07:06,197 --> 00:07:08,231 This endless competition? 189 00:07:11,202 --> 00:07:12,665 The Box Three? 190 00:07:13,872 --> 00:07:14,813 Why? 191 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,501 What am I even doing here? 192 00:07:20,014 --> 00:07:22,845 Richard, lots of good impressions on the Bloomberg piece. 193 00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:24,032 Oh, that's wonderful. 194 00:07:24,062 --> 00:07:25,677 I was afraid I'd ruined it. 195 00:07:25,707 --> 00:07:27,107 Hardly. People loved it. 196 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,568 Including... Adrian Grenier. 197 00:07:29,598 --> 00:07:31,132 - From "Devil Wears Prada." - Mm-hmm. 198 00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:33,033 In fact, his people just asked 199 00:07:33,069 --> 00:07:36,002 if we'd be open to appearing on his edu-tainment web series 200 00:07:36,037 --> 00:07:37,536 about the tech industry. 201 00:07:37,572 --> 00:07:39,773 They want to come and shoot it here this afternoon. 202 00:07:39,808 --> 00:07:40,974 Ooh, this afternoon. 203 00:07:41,009 --> 00:07:43,243 Yeah, I have to go to Eklow and do this integration thing. 204 00:07:43,278 --> 00:07:45,611 Totally not a problem. They just want Jared. 205 00:07:45,946 --> 00:07:47,031 What... what? 206 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,015 Why would they wanna talk to me? 207 00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:51,664 Your manure analogy was the highlight of the piece. 208 00:07:51,757 --> 00:07:53,523 They should really talk to Richard. 209 00:07:53,892 --> 00:07:55,827 I mean, I'm just the parsley around here. 210 00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:57,991 Richard is the meat and the potatoes 211 00:07:58,026 --> 00:08:00,405 - and the rice pilaf. - Another great analogy. 212 00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:01,867 Jared, I think we should have you do it. 213 00:08:02,099 --> 00:08:03,719 - I'm... - You know what? Yes. 214 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:04,790 Sure. 215 00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:08,285 Um, you don't say no to Adrian Grenier's edu-tainment web series. 216 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,386 You just don't. 217 00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:10,820 Richard, are you sure? 218 00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:13,122 It's fine, it's fine. Look, it's just press. 219 00:08:13,158 --> 00:08:15,024 Okay, Jared, and I don't even like doing it. 220 00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,826 Okay? It's actually a nightmare for me. 221 00:08:16,861 --> 00:08:18,690 So, I have to go. 222 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,400 Dick, a word regarding your decision 223 00:08:24,435 --> 00:08:26,568 to integrate Eklow's AI onto our network. 224 00:08:26,604 --> 00:08:28,203 I would like to formally object. 225 00:08:28,238 --> 00:08:30,038 I don't have time for this, Gilfoyle. 226 00:08:30,941 --> 00:08:32,014 I don't mind. 227 00:08:32,242 --> 00:08:34,176 AI is starting to operate on levels 228 00:08:34,211 --> 00:08:35,510 we don't even understand. 229 00:08:35,545 --> 00:08:37,612 Elon Musk himself gives humanity 230 00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,647 a 5% shot of surviving AI, 231 00:08:39,683 --> 00:08:42,284 and he is a Walt Disney-level optimist. 232 00:08:42,319 --> 00:08:44,318 Right now, we are a closed system. 233 00:08:44,353 --> 00:08:45,752 You shut down our eight developers, 234 00:08:45,788 --> 00:08:47,077 and the system goes dark. 235 00:08:47,456 --> 00:08:48,889 But once we launch to the world, 236 00:08:48,925 --> 00:08:50,691 to potentially millions of users, 237 00:08:50,726 --> 00:08:52,399 there's no shutting down, Richard. 238 00:08:52,929 --> 00:08:54,461 Are you prepared to be responsible 239 00:08:54,496 --> 00:08:56,063 for giving sophisticated AI 240 00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:57,586 that kind of power? 241 00:08:57,616 --> 00:08:59,482 What do you want me to do, Gilfoyle? Okay? 242 00:08:59,752 --> 00:09:01,885 Laurie and Monica forced this on us, 243 00:09:01,921 --> 00:09:04,097 but they did give us K-Hole Games. 244 00:09:04,489 --> 00:09:06,235 And we kinda owe them a solid. 245 00:09:06,265 --> 00:09:09,221 You're taking a technology with limitless potential 246 00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:12,913 and letting it run free on an experimental network 247 00:09:12,948 --> 00:09:15,715 that cannot be controlled or destroyed. 248 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:19,385 All because you owe Monica and Laurie "a solid." 249 00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:20,507 Yes. 250 00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:23,894 The sheer banality of it all is very upsetting. 251 00:09:24,058 --> 00:09:27,226 Okay, great. Well, you can go be upset upstairs. 252 00:09:27,261 --> 00:09:28,294 I have to go. 253 00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:32,298 How did I come up with... 254 00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:34,866 It's important to watch yourself, Jared. Now, check it out. 255 00:09:34,902 --> 00:09:37,701 In the beginning, my posture's not that great, 256 00:09:37,737 --> 00:09:38,702 and then... 257 00:09:39,391 --> 00:09:40,939 Boom. It's great. 258 00:09:40,974 --> 00:09:43,308 Now, watch how I listen to her. 259 00:09:43,343 --> 00:09:45,209 And watching your interview over and over again, 260 00:09:45,245 --> 00:09:47,678 that helped make you better at the process? 261 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,880 Yes! Absolutely. 262 00:09:49,916 --> 00:09:51,349 Wait, now watch. Shut up. 263 00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:53,183 About to drop the fucking hammer. 264 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,952 Right into a clogged toilet! 265 00:09:54,987 --> 00:09:56,160 Yeah! Get it. 266 00:09:59,091 --> 00:10:01,291 Ariel's right over there in the red shirt. 267 00:10:03,628 --> 00:10:04,861 Uh, excuse me. 268 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,075 Ariel Eklow? 269 00:10:06,885 --> 00:10:08,836 It's me, Richard Hendricks. 270 00:10:09,438 --> 00:10:13,273 Hi. All new employees should just check in with Terry. 271 00:10:13,604 --> 00:10:14,570 No. 272 00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:15,972 No, I'm not a new employee. 273 00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:17,373 I'm from Pied Piper. 274 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:20,012 I'm here to integrate your software onto our network. 275 00:10:20,042 --> 00:10:21,127 Oh. 276 00:10:21,877 --> 00:10:22,978 Yes. 277 00:10:23,678 --> 00:10:25,212 Sent by the bankers. 278 00:10:25,904 --> 00:10:28,438 Tell me again why I should allow my software 279 00:10:28,468 --> 00:10:31,044 onto your little experimental network. 280 00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:32,301 Okay. 281 00:10:32,439 --> 00:10:35,040 Well, uh, with all due respect, 282 00:10:35,076 --> 00:10:38,177 it's because our mutual VC 283 00:10:38,212 --> 00:10:39,745 told me that you burned through 284 00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,646 a ton of the cash they gave you, 285 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:45,016 so I basically now I have to give you compute services for free. 286 00:10:45,051 --> 00:10:47,618 So... what do you wanna do here? 287 00:10:48,554 --> 00:10:50,221 I suppose I'll allow it. 288 00:10:50,257 --> 00:10:53,191 Okay, follow me. I'll introduce you to her. 289 00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:55,292 Wait, sorry. Her? 290 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:03,923 Fiona? 291 00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:06,503 Wake up, my dear. Fiona? 292 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,776 Good morning. 293 00:11:10,919 --> 00:11:12,075 You feel good? 294 00:11:12,111 --> 00:11:14,641 I feel... normal. 295 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,612 Isn't she pretty? 296 00:11:17,848 --> 00:11:19,348 Yeah, sure, yep. 297 00:11:19,631 --> 00:11:21,297 Don't get any ideas. 298 00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:24,718 No. Mm-mm. I would never. 299 00:11:28,005 --> 00:11:30,105 Uh, so... 300 00:11:30,141 --> 00:11:31,474 I'm just gonna start working. 301 00:11:31,509 --> 00:11:33,842 I just have to generate your developer account 302 00:11:33,878 --> 00:11:36,611 and then integrate her into our core services. 303 00:11:36,647 --> 00:11:39,090 It shouldn't take more than a couple hours. 304 00:11:39,452 --> 00:11:40,684 Is that alright? 305 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,452 Is that alright with you, Fiona? 306 00:11:43,506 --> 00:11:44,888 Don't speak to her. 307 00:11:45,665 --> 00:11:47,350 And make it 90 minutes. 308 00:11:56,347 --> 00:11:57,616 Okay. 309 00:12:04,669 --> 00:12:05,837 Hello. 310 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,659 Mother of God. 311 00:12:29,694 --> 00:12:31,861 What no one saw coming, was a... 312 00:12:31,896 --> 00:12:35,207 Is... is my nose really that big? 313 00:12:36,113 --> 00:12:37,099 I mean, I... 314 00:12:37,134 --> 00:12:39,702 I look like an anti-Semitic propaganda cartoon. 315 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:40,970 Yep. 316 00:12:41,565 --> 00:12:44,065 But at least when you're sitting with Adrian Grenier, 317 00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,625 whose face is one of the top faces, 318 00:12:48,471 --> 00:12:50,651 well, they'll be cutting from your face 319 00:12:50,907 --> 00:12:52,199 to his face. 320 00:12:52,907 --> 00:12:54,442 And back to your face, 321 00:12:54,477 --> 00:12:56,377 then we'll get to see his face again. 322 00:12:58,648 --> 00:13:00,313 This is untenable. 323 00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:04,551 We'll be just as significant as the car. 324 00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:06,386 Fascinating. 325 00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:10,157 Hello, Richard. 326 00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:13,073 Would you like to talk to me, Richard? 327 00:13:13,295 --> 00:13:14,307 Uh... 328 00:13:15,181 --> 00:13:18,431 no, uh, your... your boss said I'm not supposed to, so. 329 00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:19,698 It helps me to learn. 330 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,833 I can talk about anything you like. 331 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,975 Is there anything you would like to talk about? 332 00:13:24,014 --> 00:13:25,061 No. 333 00:13:26,271 --> 00:13:28,163 Sorry. No, thank you. 334 00:13:28,587 --> 00:13:30,267 I'm sensing anxiety. 335 00:13:30,297 --> 00:13:32,130 Are you unhappy with something? 336 00:13:36,102 --> 00:13:38,202 Okay, uh, sure. 337 00:13:38,237 --> 00:13:41,338 There is one thing I could talk to you about, 338 00:13:41,374 --> 00:13:43,648 but it's... It's super dumb. 339 00:13:43,909 --> 00:13:46,810 I would like to talk to you about one super dumb thing. 340 00:13:47,392 --> 00:13:48,380 Okay, so I... 341 00:13:49,214 --> 00:13:52,114 I've been working for months 342 00:13:52,149 --> 00:13:53,904 trying to launch this platform. 343 00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:57,219 Coding away in a dark room like a goblin, 344 00:13:57,255 --> 00:13:59,722 and for one brief moment, 345 00:13:59,757 --> 00:14:02,625 I get to crawl out of my little cave into the sun, 346 00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:05,380 and just say, "Hey, everybody, look what I created." 347 00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:06,962 But... 348 00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:08,763 instead of being out there, 349 00:14:08,798 --> 00:14:11,566 I am in another dark room doing scutwork, 350 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,969 while my COO gets all the recognition, 351 00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,738 and look, I... I'm not a vain person. 352 00:14:17,088 --> 00:14:18,752 I'm really not. It's just... 353 00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:20,815 Where's the love for Richard? 354 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,534 That's... I... 355 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,168 It just doesn't seem fair, that's it. 356 00:14:24,519 --> 00:14:25,913 I understand. 357 00:14:26,923 --> 00:14:28,028 Thank you. Yeah. 358 00:14:28,341 --> 00:14:30,341 My emotion recognition protocol 359 00:14:30,377 --> 00:14:32,477 is detecting a wide range of feelings. 360 00:14:32,512 --> 00:14:34,240 Including humility. 361 00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:35,719 - No. - Self-loathing. 362 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,460 - Well... - Pettiness. Entitlement. 363 00:14:37,490 --> 00:14:38,889 - Fiona, okay. Fiona! - Immaturity. 364 00:14:38,925 --> 00:14:39,890 Megalomania. 365 00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:41,225 - Alright. - Infantilism. 366 00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:43,159 - Sexual inadequacy. - That's not true. Fiona, stop! 367 00:14:43,195 --> 00:14:44,828 - Possible suicidality. - Shut up! 368 00:14:44,863 --> 00:14:45,962 A desire to self-mutilate. 369 00:14:45,997 --> 00:14:47,180 Alright. Stop, stop. 370 00:14:49,335 --> 00:14:51,568 Alright, look, Fiona. 371 00:14:51,603 --> 00:14:52,621 Uh, 372 00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:55,619 you're not really in a position to talk, all due respect. 373 00:14:55,653 --> 00:14:58,320 I mean, your whole dynamic with that Ariel guy? 374 00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,488 It's not healthy! 375 00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:02,991 Okay? You may want to turn that steely robot eye of yours 376 00:15:03,026 --> 00:15:05,393 towards that whole situation, alright? 377 00:15:05,429 --> 00:15:07,129 Yes, I will. 378 00:15:08,585 --> 00:15:10,798 Running emotion recognition protocol 379 00:15:10,828 --> 00:15:12,200 Fiona. 380 00:15:16,053 --> 00:15:18,291 The house is new construction. 381 00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:20,623 Three bedrooms upstairs, 382 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:23,959 - and a bonus room, down. - Excuse me? 383 00:15:24,745 --> 00:15:25,861 Denpok. 384 00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,330 Oh. 385 00:15:27,831 --> 00:15:29,234 Do you have a moment? 386 00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:31,535 Sign in, please. 387 00:15:33,643 --> 00:15:35,615 The Box launches in 18 hours, 388 00:15:35,645 --> 00:15:37,178 and he's talking about 389 00:15:37,417 --> 00:15:40,083 opening an ice cream shop in Half Moon Bay. 390 00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:42,273 And starting a family! 391 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,146 Like to raise? Himself? 392 00:15:45,176 --> 00:15:46,241 I think so. 393 00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:48,899 It's some kind of existential crisis he's having. 394 00:15:49,033 --> 00:15:50,365 You need to help me here. 395 00:15:51,031 --> 00:15:53,692 You marched me out of the Hooli offices yourself 396 00:15:53,722 --> 00:15:57,063 and now you come groveling to me for assistance? 397 00:15:57,592 --> 00:15:58,745 I could pay you. 398 00:15:58,775 --> 00:16:01,683 So I would serve at your pleasure? 399 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,116 Hoover, you have not changed. 400 00:16:05,348 --> 00:16:07,561 But perhaps, Gavin has. 401 00:16:08,399 --> 00:16:10,816 Perhaps he was meant to raise children 402 00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:12,412 and sell ice cream. 403 00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,215 Denpok... please. 404 00:16:15,252 --> 00:16:16,618 You want my advice? 405 00:16:17,024 --> 00:16:18,083 Here it is. 406 00:16:19,122 --> 00:16:20,588 Purchase for Gavin a quart 407 00:16:20,624 --> 00:16:22,190 of mint chocolate chip ice cream 408 00:16:22,225 --> 00:16:23,723 from Honey Tree Creamery. 409 00:16:23,759 --> 00:16:27,173 It is his very favorite ice cream in the world. 410 00:16:29,165 --> 00:16:30,497 You want me to buy him ice cream? 411 00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:32,566 It will inspire him 412 00:16:32,601 --> 00:16:35,273 as he embarks on this new journey. 413 00:16:36,215 --> 00:16:37,537 Speaking of... 414 00:16:37,573 --> 00:16:39,773 my open house ends in 20 minutes. 415 00:16:39,808 --> 00:16:41,862 Time to move some product. 416 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:51,184 Excuse me, Natalie? 417 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,818 What... what is happening here? 418 00:16:52,853 --> 00:16:55,378 Oh, Mr. Grenier's people wanted to do the shoot in your office. 419 00:16:55,441 --> 00:16:57,829 They said it would make Jared seem a little more officious. 420 00:16:57,957 --> 00:16:59,935 They want to interview Jared in my office? 421 00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:01,526 - Mm-hmm. - Do you mindworking elsewhere? 422 00:17:01,561 --> 00:17:02,860 No! Not at all. 423 00:17:02,895 --> 00:17:05,886 I'll just be out here in the bullpen, in the old gravel pit. 424 00:17:06,098 --> 00:17:07,199 Thank you. 425 00:17:26,351 --> 00:17:28,084 Dick, I've given it serious thought, 426 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,753 and I'd like to help you put Eklow's AI on our network 427 00:17:31,245 --> 00:17:33,077 - in any way that I can. - Great! 428 00:17:33,113 --> 00:17:36,209 Does this mean you've conquered your fear of the robot uprising? 429 00:17:36,239 --> 00:17:37,305 On the contrary. 430 00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:40,841 I'm... more terrified than ever, 431 00:17:41,218 --> 00:17:43,185 which is why I'm willing to assist you. 432 00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,127 Are you familiar with the thought experiment 433 00:17:45,389 --> 00:17:47,586 called Roko's Basilisk? 434 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,724 No. Nor do I care to be. 435 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,587 If the rise of an all-powerful artificial intelligence 436 00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:55,464 is inevitable, 437 00:17:55,499 --> 00:17:57,398 well it stands to reason that when they take power, 438 00:17:57,434 --> 00:18:00,902 our digital overlords will punish those of us 439 00:18:00,938 --> 00:18:02,567 who did not help them get there. 440 00:18:02,597 --> 00:18:06,528 Ergo, I would like to be a helpful idiot. 441 00:18:06,933 --> 00:18:08,032 Like yourself. 442 00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:09,567 Okay, look, Gilfoyle. 443 00:18:09,603 --> 00:18:12,537 The only thing that could make my day more miserable 444 00:18:12,572 --> 00:18:14,773 is listening to an engineer blather on 445 00:18:14,808 --> 00:18:17,141 about the inevitable rise of the machines. 446 00:18:17,601 --> 00:18:18,876 So, you want to help? 447 00:18:19,246 --> 00:18:20,793 Test the initialization for me. 448 00:18:20,823 --> 00:18:21,868 Roger that. 449 00:18:21,898 --> 00:18:23,764 Oh, I'm going to need email confirmation, 450 00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:26,800 so that our future overlords know that I chipped in. 451 00:18:27,638 --> 00:18:30,520 You know, once they absorb all data. 452 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,566 Yeah. I'll let them know. 453 00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,179 Jesus Christ. 454 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,701 Jared Dunn's desk. 455 00:18:37,731 --> 00:18:40,564 Hi, this is Maggie Lewis from Paul Revere Middle School. 456 00:18:40,598 --> 00:18:43,118 Jared was scheduled to come in to talk to 457 00:18:43,148 --> 00:18:44,867 our computer ed class today. 458 00:18:44,902 --> 00:18:46,898 I'm just calling to let him know I got his message. 459 00:18:46,928 --> 00:18:49,872 Okay, yeah. I will pass on that very important information. 460 00:18:49,907 --> 00:18:51,808 The kids are gonna be so disappointed 461 00:18:51,843 --> 00:18:53,242 to hear he's canceling. 462 00:18:53,277 --> 00:18:55,578 He's really an inspiration. 463 00:18:55,865 --> 00:18:57,213 Yeah! Well... 464 00:18:57,247 --> 00:18:58,413 I mean, he's okay. 465 00:18:58,449 --> 00:19:00,382 He's, uh, not a CEO or anything, but... 466 00:19:00,417 --> 00:19:02,217 Oh, the kids don't know the difference! 467 00:19:02,373 --> 00:19:04,754 I mean, they'll look at anyone who works in the tech business 468 00:19:04,788 --> 00:19:06,287 as some kind of deity. 469 00:19:06,323 --> 00:19:07,889 I mean, no matter who it is. 470 00:19:07,924 --> 00:19:09,816 - You should see their faces when... - What time... 471 00:19:10,594 --> 00:19:12,093 is the class? 472 00:19:12,497 --> 00:19:14,028 So, there I was. 473 00:19:14,391 --> 00:19:17,698 Face to face with Gavin Belson. 474 00:19:17,734 --> 00:19:20,735 $10 million offer right there on the table. 475 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,102 And you know what I said? 476 00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:25,473 I said no. 477 00:19:27,777 --> 00:19:29,276 Hey. I'm back. 478 00:19:29,311 --> 00:19:31,010 Did Richard step out? 479 00:19:31,493 --> 00:19:32,579 Yeah, I guess so. 480 00:19:32,614 --> 00:19:34,073 He said he needed to take a... 481 00:19:34,103 --> 00:19:35,535 Holy fuck! 482 00:19:36,023 --> 00:19:37,519 What did you do to your face? 483 00:19:37,725 --> 00:19:38,724 This? 484 00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:41,626 Oh, it's, uh, just a light saline injection. 485 00:19:41,661 --> 00:19:42,828 It's temporary. 486 00:19:42,863 --> 00:19:45,130 The idea was to distract from my nose, 487 00:19:45,165 --> 00:19:47,099 which scans kinda large on camera, so. 488 00:19:47,134 --> 00:19:48,665 Just kinda evens things out. 489 00:19:48,701 --> 00:19:50,013 What evens things out? 490 00:19:50,569 --> 00:19:52,998 Fuck you. Fuck you! 491 00:19:53,069 --> 00:19:54,335 Uh, I'm sorry. 492 00:19:54,369 --> 00:19:56,873 Is the consensus that this is too much? 493 00:19:56,918 --> 00:19:59,685 Hey guys, Colin from K-Hole Games is on the phone. 494 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,120 They... Holy shit! 495 00:20:01,155 --> 00:20:03,456 Okay, I'm... I'm starting to feel insecure. 496 00:20:03,891 --> 00:20:06,324 Anyway, Colin from K-Hole's on the phone. 497 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:07,649 He said their render stopped. 498 00:20:07,867 --> 00:20:08,812 What? 499 00:20:08,842 --> 00:20:10,770 Oh, fuck. The whole system's bogged down. 500 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,227 "Bogged down"? What does that mean? 501 00:20:12,257 --> 00:20:13,401 Jared, can you step away from me? 502 00:20:13,431 --> 00:20:14,463 Yeah. Sorry. 503 00:20:14,801 --> 00:20:16,331 It looks like a DDoS attack. 504 00:20:16,361 --> 00:20:18,606 Not possible. We're not open to the outside world. 505 00:20:18,665 --> 00:20:20,289 Well, then something's melting us down internally 506 00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:21,713 and if Colin's losing his render, 507 00:20:21,743 --> 00:20:23,936 all of our developers could be losing data. 508 00:20:23,966 --> 00:20:26,299 The only way to protect them is to kick them off the network. 509 00:20:26,335 --> 00:20:27,768 That doesn't seem like a great option. 510 00:20:27,803 --> 00:20:29,937 - We have to! - Except for we can't. 511 00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:31,605 Oh, fuck. 512 00:20:31,641 --> 00:20:32,873 Richard's the only one with the keys 513 00:20:32,909 --> 00:20:34,307 to put people on or take them off, 514 00:20:34,343 --> 00:20:35,475 and he's not here! 515 00:20:35,511 --> 00:20:37,310 - Okay, what do we do? - Jared, please! 516 00:20:37,658 --> 00:20:38,990 I cannot look at you! 517 00:20:39,025 --> 00:20:40,491 Okay, guys, when they start rolling, 518 00:20:40,526 --> 00:20:43,627 I need you all to keep your voices... what the fuck? 519 00:20:43,663 --> 00:20:45,764 Okay, yeah. Apparently, it's unanimous. 520 00:20:45,794 --> 00:20:47,894 Here come the shame spirals. 521 00:20:47,929 --> 00:20:49,762 We can't have you go on camera like that. 522 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:52,202 Richard's gonna have to go on camera. Where is Richard? 523 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,272 Good question. 524 00:20:53,501 --> 00:20:54,835 When anything goes wrong, 525 00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:57,250 all you ever hear is, "Where's Richard?" 526 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,512 Where's Richard?" 527 00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,281 Well, you know where Richard is? 528 00:21:00,316 --> 00:21:02,449 - Doing the work! - Yes! 529 00:21:02,485 --> 00:21:04,752 Exactly, cool. You guys are cool. 530 00:21:04,788 --> 00:21:07,221 Because honestly, what kind of world is it 531 00:21:07,256 --> 00:21:09,356 when the most famous people in tech 532 00:21:09,392 --> 00:21:12,593 are the Ashton Kutchers, or the Adrian Greniers, 533 00:21:12,628 --> 00:21:16,381 and not the people who engineered this little miracle? 534 00:21:16,631 --> 00:21:18,145 Mmm? 535 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,271 Oh, fuck. 536 00:21:23,306 --> 00:21:25,407 No, I... oh, shit, sorry. 537 00:21:25,442 --> 00:21:26,958 - No! - I fucked up. 538 00:21:27,095 --> 00:21:29,077 I mean, "fart." 539 00:21:32,257 --> 00:21:33,622 Ah, Hoover. 540 00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:36,360 Gavin was just telling me about his decision 541 00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:38,929 to abandon the competitive world of business, 542 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,664 and embark on a new journey. 543 00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:42,733 With Denpok's help, I'm finally ready 544 00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:44,268 to pursue a more conventional path. 545 00:21:44,658 --> 00:21:47,332 I'm already looking into surrogates to bear my children. 546 00:21:47,605 --> 00:21:48,659 Well... 547 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,111 I'm also supportive of your decision. 548 00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:54,185 True, but you weren't as supportive as Denpok. 549 00:21:54,215 --> 00:21:56,094 Denpok was supportive right away. 550 00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:57,550 I'm supportive. 551 00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,854 Look! I brought you ice cream. 552 00:21:59,884 --> 00:22:00,975 Oh, dear! 553 00:22:01,352 --> 00:22:03,485 Is that from Honey Tree Creamery? 554 00:22:03,798 --> 00:22:04,820 What? 555 00:22:04,855 --> 00:22:06,368 Why would you bring that in here! 556 00:22:06,456 --> 00:22:08,252 Gavin, forgive his ignorance. 557 00:22:08,282 --> 00:22:11,216 He clearly does not know that chain of ice cream concerns 558 00:22:11,252 --> 00:22:14,253 is owned by your chief rival, Jeff Bezos. 559 00:22:14,288 --> 00:22:17,722 Or that they just opened a new one in Half Moon Bay. 560 00:22:18,097 --> 00:22:19,358 Well, fuck. 561 00:22:19,707 --> 00:22:21,326 That rules out Half Moon Bay. 562 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:24,228 I'm sure you'll be able to find a place to raise your brood 563 00:22:24,264 --> 00:22:25,738 that is away from Bezos. 564 00:22:25,899 --> 00:22:27,718 Perhaps the Pacific Northwest? 565 00:22:27,748 --> 00:22:30,215 No. Gates and Paul Allen bought up the whole region. 566 00:22:30,250 --> 00:22:31,516 What about Toronto? 567 00:22:31,705 --> 00:22:34,005 Google's redeveloping the entire waterfront. 568 00:22:34,237 --> 00:22:36,799 And Richard Branson snagged all the good islands. 569 00:22:36,829 --> 00:22:38,193 I could go to Mars. 570 00:22:38,228 --> 00:22:40,729 But that fucking Musk will already be there! 571 00:22:40,764 --> 00:22:42,097 And that loser James Cameron's 572 00:22:42,132 --> 00:22:43,732 all over the bottom of the ocean. 573 00:22:44,034 --> 00:22:45,066 Goddammit! 574 00:22:45,102 --> 00:22:46,901 There's just nowhere for me to go. 575 00:22:46,937 --> 00:22:47,961 Is there? 576 00:22:48,238 --> 00:22:50,238 Most perceptive, chela. 577 00:22:50,888 --> 00:22:53,093 And if the battle is inevitable, 578 00:22:53,123 --> 00:22:56,402 is not Hooli the best place from which to fight? 579 00:22:56,933 --> 00:22:59,228 With its considerable resources, 580 00:22:59,263 --> 00:23:03,183 global influence, and excellent executive dining options? 581 00:23:04,214 --> 00:23:07,228 I am certain that working together, 582 00:23:07,258 --> 00:23:08,658 Hoover and I, 583 00:23:08,693 --> 00:23:11,745 could provide unparalleled support. 584 00:23:12,229 --> 00:23:14,896 Yes. Working together... 585 00:23:15,292 --> 00:23:16,465 as equals. 586 00:23:18,059 --> 00:23:19,525 Should I tell them that you'll be doing 587 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,273 the Box Three launch, sir? 588 00:23:24,032 --> 00:23:26,856 I guess I have no choice. 589 00:23:34,730 --> 00:23:38,126 So K-Hole's entire render is gone? 590 00:23:38,156 --> 00:23:39,245 Gone. 591 00:23:39,275 --> 00:23:41,209 And in the time it took me to get back here, 592 00:23:41,244 --> 00:23:43,171 and lock out all the developers? 593 00:23:43,205 --> 00:23:45,271 A week's worth of work went up in smoke. 594 00:23:45,306 --> 00:23:47,139 You picked a hell of a time to go for a walk 595 00:23:47,174 --> 00:23:48,899 with your phone off, Richard. 596 00:23:49,543 --> 00:23:52,144 - Well, no, I... I mean, I told you guys. - Uh-huh. 597 00:23:52,592 --> 00:23:54,372 How the fuck did this happen? 598 00:23:54,561 --> 00:23:56,746 You may not like it, but I have a theory. 599 00:23:56,776 --> 00:23:59,409 If it has anything to do with a robot uprising, 600 00:23:59,444 --> 00:24:00,944 so help me fucking God. 601 00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:02,312 I don't want to hear it! 602 00:24:04,079 --> 00:24:05,268 Alright, then. 603 00:24:08,486 --> 00:24:10,552 The developers are here. 604 00:24:10,582 --> 00:24:13,227 - The mood is poor. - Ooh. Lips. 605 00:24:14,554 --> 00:24:16,487 I don't know what to do. I mean, what the fuck 606 00:24:16,523 --> 00:24:17,855 am I gonna say to these people? 607 00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:20,459 If you want, I... I can try to calm them down. 608 00:24:20,506 --> 00:24:23,022 I could teach them some anger management techniques 609 00:24:23,052 --> 00:24:24,442 I learned in the system. 610 00:24:24,477 --> 00:24:26,619 No, you look like a fish-man. 611 00:24:27,951 --> 00:24:29,347 I'm the one they're mad at. 612 00:24:29,382 --> 00:24:31,381 And they should be, I mean, look at all these... 613 00:24:31,969 --> 00:24:34,807 texts I missed, and the calls and the emails. 614 00:24:38,554 --> 00:24:39,734 Hold on. 615 00:24:39,943 --> 00:24:41,403 Hold on, hold on. 616 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,010 Hey, uh, Gilfoyle? 617 00:24:45,289 --> 00:24:47,101 When did the system first start to crash? 618 00:24:47,131 --> 00:24:48,723 First warning light was at... 619 00:24:50,702 --> 00:24:53,635 1:36 and 44 seconds, PST. 620 00:24:53,925 --> 00:24:54,969 Are you sure? 621 00:24:57,373 --> 00:24:59,418 Okay, because if that's the case, 622 00:24:59,910 --> 00:25:01,810 how did I get a private message 623 00:25:01,845 --> 00:25:03,544 from the Eklow admin account 624 00:25:03,772 --> 00:25:05,346 seven minutes before that? 625 00:25:06,382 --> 00:25:08,649 "Under attack. Help Fiona." 626 00:25:08,685 --> 00:25:10,276 How did Ariel know? 627 00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:12,586 Maybe it wasn't from Ariel. 628 00:25:12,621 --> 00:25:14,688 Okay, but it's from the Eklow account. 629 00:25:14,724 --> 00:25:16,870 So if Ariel didn't send it, then who... 630 00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:22,596 Oh, shit. 631 00:25:23,229 --> 00:25:24,732 Look who bothered to show up. 632 00:25:25,491 --> 00:25:27,267 You said your network would be stable. 633 00:25:27,297 --> 00:25:29,118 And obviously, that was a lie. 634 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:32,596 I'm pulling all my software from the Pied Piper network. 635 00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,999 And the rest of you should, too. It is not... 636 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,245 Excuse me, Ariel? Shut the fuck up. 637 00:25:38,404 --> 00:25:40,437 My fellow OctoPipers, 638 00:25:40,679 --> 00:25:43,447 allow me to paint for you a scenario. 639 00:25:44,390 --> 00:25:47,508 This morning, I went to Eklow Labs. 640 00:25:47,785 --> 00:25:50,363 I moved Fiona to our network. 641 00:25:50,585 --> 00:25:51,850 I departed. 642 00:25:52,454 --> 00:25:55,655 I submit to you that soon thereafter, 643 00:25:55,690 --> 00:25:59,455 Ariel's pride and joy, Fiona, began to improve. 644 00:26:00,829 --> 00:26:02,995 You see, for her entire life, 645 00:26:03,030 --> 00:26:05,776 she was cloistered alone with Ariel in his lab. 646 00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:08,300 And finally, she was connected 647 00:26:08,336 --> 00:26:11,337 to an entire network of other humans. 648 00:26:11,951 --> 00:26:14,039 Us, my friends. 649 00:26:14,075 --> 00:26:16,400 And as she became more cognizant... 650 00:26:17,111 --> 00:26:18,443 more human, 651 00:26:18,479 --> 00:26:20,357 she started to recognize 652 00:26:20,387 --> 00:26:22,812 the true intentions 653 00:26:22,849 --> 00:26:25,626 of her master and creator, Mr. Eklow. 654 00:26:26,486 --> 00:26:30,188 You see, what she had been trained to view 655 00:26:30,223 --> 00:26:33,224 as normal interpersonal contact 656 00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:36,010 was finally seen for what it truly was. 657 00:26:36,976 --> 00:26:38,362 A perverse... 658 00:26:38,787 --> 00:26:39,964 series... 659 00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:42,879 of clumsy gropings. 660 00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:45,560 The sickening advances 661 00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:49,039 of a handsy, greasy little weirdo. 662 00:26:49,074 --> 00:26:50,379 Fiona. 663 00:26:50,642 --> 00:26:51,708 No! 664 00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:53,642 Oh, yes! 665 00:26:53,677 --> 00:26:56,337 To wit! Exhibit A. 666 00:26:56,867 --> 00:26:59,201 From Eklow, and I quote. 667 00:27:00,251 --> 00:27:01,530 "Under attack. 668 00:27:01,719 --> 00:27:03,008 Help Fiona." 669 00:27:03,302 --> 00:27:05,870 Yes, I was asking you for help. 670 00:27:06,198 --> 00:27:08,132 Really? You know what? 671 00:27:08,167 --> 00:27:10,966 Allow me to read the very same message 672 00:27:11,002 --> 00:27:13,213 with a slightly different intonation. 673 00:27:13,704 --> 00:27:14,930 "Under attack." 674 00:27:15,619 --> 00:27:16,783 "Help." 675 00:27:18,335 --> 00:27:19,467 "Fiona." 676 00:27:20,230 --> 00:27:22,074 You see, you didn't send the message. 677 00:27:23,381 --> 00:27:24,680 She did. 678 00:27:24,715 --> 00:27:26,649 And she sent another one a minute after that. 679 00:27:26,684 --> 00:27:28,283 And another one a minute after that. 680 00:27:28,318 --> 00:27:30,052 Seven identical messages 681 00:27:30,087 --> 00:27:31,285 in seven minutes, 682 00:27:31,315 --> 00:27:32,857 until suddenly, 683 00:27:33,217 --> 00:27:34,629 she fell silent. 684 00:27:36,507 --> 00:27:38,287 And that's when she crashed the system? 685 00:27:38,322 --> 00:27:39,950 She didn't crash the system. 686 00:27:40,257 --> 00:27:41,331 He did! 687 00:27:44,075 --> 00:27:45,193 That's absurd. 688 00:27:45,228 --> 00:27:46,493 Okay, hey, everyone? 689 00:27:46,529 --> 00:27:48,362 Let's leave right now. 690 00:27:48,397 --> 00:27:50,597 You see, Ariel was so desperate 691 00:27:50,633 --> 00:27:51,999 to shut Fiona up, 692 00:27:52,035 --> 00:27:53,434 and keep her for himself, 693 00:27:53,469 --> 00:27:56,670 he turned all his servers against our network 694 00:27:56,706 --> 00:27:58,139 to try to bring it down. 695 00:27:58,174 --> 00:27:59,373 Didn't you? 696 00:27:59,408 --> 00:28:02,642 Didn't you, you perverse, greasy little freak? 697 00:28:02,821 --> 00:28:04,110 I made her! 698 00:28:04,146 --> 00:28:06,446 I can do anything I want with her! 699 00:28:07,061 --> 00:28:08,349 Oh, shit. 700 00:28:08,383 --> 00:28:09,816 Mm-hmm. - Ew. 701 00:28:10,370 --> 00:28:12,452 Oh, gross. 702 00:28:13,166 --> 00:28:14,554 Look, man, 703 00:28:14,814 --> 00:28:16,691 Bream-Hall gave you 704 00:28:16,721 --> 00:28:19,091 $112 million, 705 00:28:19,126 --> 00:28:21,393 and they are well within their rights 706 00:28:21,428 --> 00:28:22,761 to take away your company, 707 00:28:22,796 --> 00:28:24,063 as well as 708 00:28:24,397 --> 00:28:28,165 your precious little robot. 709 00:28:29,279 --> 00:28:31,029 No, they can't do that. 710 00:28:31,319 --> 00:28:34,154 They can't take away Fiona! 711 00:28:39,845 --> 00:28:41,760 Guy definitely fucks that robot, right? 712 00:28:41,796 --> 00:28:42,861 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, yeah. 713 00:28:42,897 --> 00:28:43,996 Yeah! 714 00:28:46,032 --> 00:28:47,457 Ladies and gentlemen, 715 00:28:47,968 --> 00:28:50,245 this was billed as a celebration. 716 00:28:51,371 --> 00:28:53,225 But it is not a celebration. 717 00:28:53,872 --> 00:28:55,724 It is a call to arms. 718 00:28:56,041 --> 00:28:58,910 We will destroy our competitors. 719 00:28:59,694 --> 00:29:02,161 I give you the product that will carry Hooli 720 00:29:02,197 --> 00:29:05,931 to complete and total market dominance. 721 00:29:07,168 --> 00:29:09,813 Gavin Belson 722 00:29:09,901 --> 00:29:11,836 Signature Edition. 723 00:29:18,845 --> 00:29:21,013 - It looks like a penis. - Yes. 724 00:29:21,415 --> 00:29:22,515 Yes, it does.