1 00:00:08,097 --> 00:00:10,304 I will be taking on a total engineering team 2 00:00:10,388 --> 00:00:11,388 of about 50. 3 00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:13,888 I just have to go back into my office. 4 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,471 Well we thought the best way to introduce the PiperNet 5 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:24,555 would be through the eight developers. 6 00:00:24,638 --> 00:00:26,518 I have been cooking up a killer new game. 7 00:00:26,555 --> 00:00:27,805 The Gates of Galloo. 8 00:00:27,888 --> 00:00:29,471 We put this thing on PiperNet... 9 00:00:29,555 --> 00:00:31,888 Bam, 80,000 instant users. 10 00:00:32,263 --> 00:00:34,471 Partnering with a company of that size, 11 00:00:34,555 --> 00:00:36,179 this early, would put us months ahead. 12 00:00:36,263 --> 00:00:37,596 Knock 'em dead, Richard. 13 00:00:39,346 --> 00:00:42,055 Whatever you are doing, stop it now. 14 00:00:43,596 --> 00:00:46,429 Um, yeah, we're just high-fiving. 15 00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:47,930 Bye. 16 00:00:48,138 --> 00:00:51,179 You need to make a deal with my companies. 17 00:00:51,513 --> 00:00:54,055 Taking existing companies and just calling them new 18 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:55,847 isn't sophisticated, that's theft. 19 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,972 So they're manufacturing phones 20 00:00:58,055 --> 00:00:59,322 and signing them onto our network. 21 00:00:59,346 --> 00:01:00,489 Why would they wanna help us? 22 00:01:00,513 --> 00:01:02,388 They're not helping us, they're attacking us. 23 00:01:02,471 --> 00:01:04,513 - It's the 51 percent attack. - I'm sorry, what? 24 00:01:04,596 --> 00:01:07,138 A 51 percent... 25 00:01:10,179 --> 00:01:11,555 We've been exploring the viability 26 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:12,972 of an acquisition with Amazon. 27 00:01:13,055 --> 00:01:15,138 You expect me to work for Jeff Bezos? 28 00:01:15,304 --> 00:01:16,304 No way. 29 00:01:16,388 --> 00:01:18,888 I happen to know that they fucked you over. 30 00:01:18,972 --> 00:01:20,405 How would you like to fuck them back? 31 00:01:20,429 --> 00:01:21,805 I need you to attack me. 32 00:01:21,888 --> 00:01:23,805 - A second attack. - Yes. 33 00:01:25,138 --> 00:01:27,138 Boom, you just got 80,000 new users. 34 00:01:27,847 --> 00:01:29,555 Colin, you did it, you saved us. 35 00:01:29,805 --> 00:01:31,596 Gilfoyle, the patch. 36 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,721 Bombs away. 37 00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:37,304 Oh, my God. These are our new offices? 38 00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:38,930 We're actually right through here. 39 00:01:40,638 --> 00:01:41,721 What do you guys think? 40 00:01:41,805 --> 00:01:43,155 Do you want to see the second floor? 41 00:01:43,179 --> 00:01:45,097 There's another floor? Okay. 42 00:01:48,388 --> 00:01:49,388 Whoa. 43 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,888 I know, it's exciting, right? 44 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,972 Here we are, right here to the left. 45 00:02:08,721 --> 00:02:10,263 I like your tie. 46 00:02:10,346 --> 00:02:12,930 Oh, thank you. I tied it myself. 47 00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:14,429 Oh... 48 00:02:14,513 --> 00:02:16,513 Okay. Well, good luck. 49 00:02:39,888 --> 00:02:41,805 Mr. Hendricks, thank you for being here. 50 00:02:41,888 --> 00:02:43,638 For the last three hours, we've been asking 51 00:02:43,721 --> 00:02:45,638 some prominent members of your industry 52 00:02:45,721 --> 00:02:48,388 questions about the security of their users' data. 53 00:02:48,471 --> 00:02:51,680 And while the gentlemen from Facebook, Google, and Amazon 54 00:02:51,763 --> 00:02:54,097 have acknowledged some egregious lapses in the past... 55 00:02:54,179 --> 00:02:56,138 And Hooli, sir. Hooli also acknowledged 56 00:02:56,221 --> 00:02:58,471 some spectacular lapses. 57 00:02:58,555 --> 00:03:00,013 Yes. 58 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,513 As I was saying, 59 00:03:01,596 --> 00:03:03,930 these fine folks have been assuring us all that 60 00:03:04,013 --> 00:03:05,721 their oversights are behind them, 61 00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:07,263 and that they are the best people 62 00:03:07,346 --> 00:03:09,138 to protect their users' privacy. 63 00:03:09,221 --> 00:03:11,429 But my colleague, Senator Shizaki 64 00:03:11,513 --> 00:03:13,221 of the great state of Hawaii, 65 00:03:13,304 --> 00:03:15,930 suggested that you might have a different view. 66 00:03:16,179 --> 00:03:17,055 Senator? 67 00:03:17,138 --> 00:03:18,847 Thank you, Chairman Hubbard. 68 00:03:18,930 --> 00:03:21,680 Mr. Hendricks and his company, Pied Piper, 69 00:03:21,763 --> 00:03:23,847 are developing a pilot program to deliver 70 00:03:23,930 --> 00:03:25,847 wireless Internet to my constituents 71 00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:27,847 on the island of Maui. 72 00:03:27,930 --> 00:03:30,429 I have asked him to deliver a statement here today. 73 00:03:31,013 --> 00:03:32,763 Mr. Hendricks? 74 00:03:33,638 --> 00:03:35,097 Yes. 75 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,429 Mr. Hendricks, now would be the time for that statement. 76 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:40,847 Okay. 77 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,221 I probably should've gotten these out before. 78 00:03:43,304 --> 00:03:46,221 He looks like a child in a custody hearing. 79 00:03:46,304 --> 00:03:48,055 But, like, you don't feel sorry for him. 80 00:03:48,138 --> 00:03:49,721 You just want him to go away 81 00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:52,405 and not have any parents at all. 82 00:03:52,471 --> 00:03:55,304 Hello, I am Richard Hendricks, CEO of Pied Piper. 83 00:03:55,388 --> 00:03:56,555 There you go. 84 00:03:56,638 --> 00:03:58,596 - Eye contact. - I'm proud to tell you 85 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,555 that we are working with Senator Shizaki... 86 00:04:00,638 --> 00:04:02,073 - Good. - On developing the first step 87 00:04:02,097 --> 00:04:04,721 in providing a new type of Internet 88 00:04:04,805 --> 00:04:06,888 to the world. Oh... 89 00:04:06,972 --> 00:04:09,138 Hold on. 90 00:04:09,221 --> 00:04:10,596 Uh, basically, 91 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,638 it-it is a program... 92 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,596 that I-I-it's kinda... 93 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,388 Actually, can I pace? I-I just think better on my feet. 94 00:04:19,471 --> 00:04:21,763 So, a lot of people... 95 00:04:21,847 --> 00:04:23,763 Mr. Hendricks! 96 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,805 Speak into the machine! 97 00:04:26,972 --> 00:04:28,471 Oh! Okay. 98 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,179 I'm sorry. Does this come out? 99 00:04:33,263 --> 00:04:34,721 Perfect. 100 00:04:34,805 --> 00:04:36,280 - Fuck. - Okay, so, 101 00:04:36,304 --> 00:04:38,429 these people up here, right? 102 00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:41,513 You want to rein them in, but you can't. 103 00:04:42,179 --> 00:04:46,930 Uh, Facebook owns 80% of mobile social traffic. 104 00:04:47,013 --> 00:04:50,138 Google owns 92% of search, 105 00:04:50,221 --> 00:04:51,680 and Amazon Web Services 106 00:04:51,763 --> 00:04:56,097 is bigger than their next four competitors combined. 107 00:04:56,179 --> 00:04:57,596 And they will be even more robust 108 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,138 once the Hooli merger is complete. 109 00:04:59,221 --> 00:05:01,471 Ah, see! Look, there! 110 00:05:01,555 --> 00:05:03,596 Even Hooli can't survive these monopolies. 111 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,930 No one can! 112 00:05:06,013 --> 00:05:08,263 They track our every move, 113 00:05:08,346 --> 00:05:11,346 they monitor every moment in our lives, 114 00:05:11,429 --> 00:05:14,471 and-and they exploit our data for profit. 115 00:05:15,055 --> 00:05:18,013 And you can ask them all the questions you want, 116 00:05:18,097 --> 00:05:21,138 but they're not gonna change, they don't have to. 117 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,429 These companies are kings, 118 00:05:23,513 --> 00:05:25,429 and they rule over kingdoms far larger 119 00:05:25,513 --> 00:05:28,179 than any nation in human history. 120 00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:30,847 They won, we lost. 121 00:05:31,555 --> 00:05:32,805 So, why are you here? 122 00:05:32,888 --> 00:05:35,138 Because look at where we are. 123 00:05:35,221 --> 00:05:37,930 - Yeah? We are in the seat of the US government... - Mr. Hendricks? 124 00:05:38,013 --> 00:05:39,138 I'm okay. I've got it now. 125 00:05:39,221 --> 00:05:41,304 We are in the seat of the US government, 126 00:05:41,388 --> 00:05:44,138 a government that was founded by people 127 00:05:44,221 --> 00:05:47,596 who were, at one point, ruled by kings they couldn't overthrow. 128 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,680 So, what did they do, right? They started over. 129 00:05:49,763 --> 00:05:51,555 They came here, to the New World. 130 00:05:51,638 --> 00:05:55,138 World 2.0, version 1776. 131 00:05:55,763 --> 00:05:56,888 And the way we win 132 00:05:56,972 --> 00:05:59,888 is by creating a new, 133 00:05:59,972 --> 00:06:02,555 democratic, decentralized Internet, 134 00:06:02,638 --> 00:06:06,304 one where the behavior of companies like this 135 00:06:06,388 --> 00:06:09,263 will be impossible, forever. 136 00:06:09,346 --> 00:06:11,513 One where it is the users, 137 00:06:11,596 --> 00:06:12,972 not the kings, 138 00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:15,138 who have sovereign control over their data. 139 00:06:15,221 --> 00:06:18,013 I will help you end this tyranny 140 00:06:18,097 --> 00:06:21,221 by building an Internet that is 141 00:06:21,304 --> 00:06:24,179 of the people, by the people, and for the people, 142 00:06:24,263 --> 00:06:25,471 so help me God. 143 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,930 Yeah! 144 00:06:30,013 --> 00:06:31,888 Whoo! 145 00:06:35,221 --> 00:06:36,847 Whoa! 146 00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,513 No, Mike, I just... 147 00:06:54,596 --> 00:06:56,388 - Huh? There he is! - Uh... 148 00:06:56,471 --> 00:06:57,888 King slayer! How was it? 149 00:06:57,972 --> 00:06:59,721 - Good. I-I... I, um... - You can go. 150 00:06:59,805 --> 00:07:01,948 - I got it... - Yeah, I mean, I think it went pretty well. 151 00:07:01,972 --> 00:07:03,263 I mean, you saw it, right? 152 00:07:03,346 --> 00:07:04,721 Of course, but I-I-I want to hear 153 00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:07,138 you tell me everything, every detail. 154 00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:09,097 Holden... 155 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,930 The man just got off the plane, give him some space! 156 00:07:14,138 --> 00:07:15,471 Jesus... 157 00:07:15,555 --> 00:07:18,097 Okay, so you touch down at Dulles, 158 00:07:18,179 --> 00:07:20,013 you turn off airplane mode, and then... 159 00:07:20,097 --> 00:07:22,097 Well, actually, we flew through Reagan National. 160 00:07:23,263 --> 00:07:25,263 Reagan? But you love trams. 161 00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:26,638 Well... 162 00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:28,921 See, this is why I should still be handling your travel. 163 00:07:28,972 --> 00:07:30,697 Oh, don't worry about it, Jared, you're busy. 164 00:07:30,721 --> 00:07:32,263 I'm never too busy for you. 165 00:07:32,346 --> 00:07:35,263 - But let's... let's not get caught up in that, right? - Right. 166 00:07:35,346 --> 00:07:39,221 We're here now, and we're walking, 167 00:07:39,304 --> 00:07:41,179 and we're talking. 168 00:07:41,263 --> 00:07:43,138 I mean, take it all in, my friend. 169 00:07:43,221 --> 00:07:44,555 Look at all this. 170 00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,847 Can you believe we began our journey way back... 171 00:07:47,930 --> 00:07:49,596 in that little living room 172 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,263 in the hostel? 173 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,638 And just yesterday, you addressed our nation's most 174 00:07:54,721 --> 00:07:56,805 hallowed, powerful legi... 175 00:07:56,888 --> 00:08:00,555 Surprise! 176 00:08:04,972 --> 00:08:07,847 Anyway, like I was saying out there, 177 00:08:07,930 --> 00:08:10,471 we started out in that little hostel, just a couple of kids. 178 00:08:10,555 --> 00:08:12,638 - Yeah. - Right? 179 00:08:12,721 --> 00:08:14,471 - And now... - You killed it, Richard! 180 00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:17,055 Way to punch big tech in the dick! 181 00:08:17,138 --> 00:08:18,680 I was just gonna say, 182 00:08:18,763 --> 00:08:21,930 let's... let's take a moment to let it soak in, right? 183 00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:24,221 - Look what you've built! - Uh-huh. 184 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,388 Okay, I'll let you go now! Enjoy the party! 185 00:08:28,388 --> 00:08:30,847 Your compression algorithm was the stardust! 186 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,388 Hey, Richard! Richard! 187 00:08:34,471 --> 00:08:36,304 Come here. 188 00:08:36,388 --> 00:08:37,388 Stand here. 189 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,680 Congratulations from Team Dinesh! 190 00:08:41,055 --> 00:08:42,346 Yeah. 191 00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:54,847 Okay, um... 192 00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:56,346 Congratulations. 193 00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:01,847 Uh... 194 00:09:06,055 --> 00:09:08,471 Uh, "You..." 195 00:09:08,555 --> 00:09:09,888 licked ass?" 196 00:09:09,972 --> 00:09:12,013 - What? - "You dicked ass"? 197 00:09:12,097 --> 00:09:14,346 - I-I dicked ass? - Kicked ass! 198 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,429 - Kicked! - Oh. 199 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,013 Why were those your first two guesses? 200 00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:18,847 Gabe, what the fuck? 201 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,739 - You're the K! Where's the K? - K's right there. 202 00:09:20,763 --> 00:09:23,221 - Kicked has two Ks! - Hey. 203 00:09:23,304 --> 00:09:24,763 - Ha. - That's for you. 204 00:09:24,847 --> 00:09:26,847 Oh, uh, I'm trying to get some work done today. 205 00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:28,805 I-I just wanted to toast. 206 00:09:29,429 --> 00:09:30,680 Okay. So... 207 00:09:31,346 --> 00:09:32,721 Don't worry, it's short. 208 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,013 The word companion 209 00:09:34,097 --> 00:09:35,930 derives from the Latin word 210 00:09:36,013 --> 00:09:37,805 "panis" for bread, 211 00:09:37,888 --> 00:09:39,972 and while I can no longer digest bread, 212 00:09:40,055 --> 00:09:42,805 - I know that you leaven my life... - Richard! 213 00:09:42,888 --> 00:09:44,097 Hey, man, you got a second? 214 00:09:44,179 --> 00:09:46,888 Uh, yes, Colin. No, I do. Um... 215 00:09:46,972 --> 00:09:49,847 Sorry. Okay. Uh, cheers. 216 00:09:49,930 --> 00:09:52,513 Saw you on TV. You crushed it. 217 00:09:52,596 --> 00:09:54,680 That king shit was on point, man. 218 00:09:54,763 --> 00:09:57,304 - I fucking love kings. - Oh, yeah. 219 00:09:59,138 --> 00:10:01,346 So listen, um, did they swear you in? 220 00:10:01,429 --> 00:10:04,055 Like, pull the whole Johnny Law routine with you? 221 00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:05,221 Were you under oath? 222 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,304 Uh, no. 223 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,013 Cool! Well, that's a weight off. 224 00:10:08,596 --> 00:10:09,930 - Why? - Well, 225 00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:12,972 you said all that stuff about not collecting user data. 226 00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:16,097 - Yes? - But we are. 227 00:10:16,179 --> 00:10:18,055 - I am. - What? 228 00:10:18,138 --> 00:10:19,596 But I'm doing the right thing now 229 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,179 by telling you, so I feel like... 230 00:10:21,263 --> 00:10:22,680 I-I'm sorry, Colin. 231 00:10:22,763 --> 00:10:24,638 How long have you been collecting user data? 232 00:10:24,721 --> 00:10:26,721 Sorta... the whole time. 233 00:10:26,805 --> 00:10:28,721 But it's just to improve 234 00:10:28,805 --> 00:10:31,304 the quality of my gameplay. I'm not using it to sell ads. 235 00:10:31,388 --> 00:10:33,138 It doesn't fucking matter. 236 00:10:33,221 --> 00:10:36,429 It goes against the principles of this company. I mean... 237 00:10:36,513 --> 00:10:38,304 Shit, I just lied to Congress. 238 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,304 No. 239 00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:42,555 You said a lie to Congress, 240 00:10:42,638 --> 00:10:45,513 but you didn't know at the time, I guess. 241 00:10:45,596 --> 00:10:48,221 Don't beat yourself up about it, huh? 242 00:10:49,055 --> 00:10:51,263 But going forward, maybe stop saying that. 243 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:52,972 Are you fucking kidding me? 244 00:10:53,055 --> 00:10:55,138 Or do say it. I don't care. 245 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,864 Maybe it'll be like Google saying "Don't be evil," 246 00:10:56,888 --> 00:10:58,972 or Facebook saying "I'm sorry, we'll do better," 247 00:10:59,055 --> 00:11:02,346 "or me saying" Gates of Galloo does not leave your headset mic open 248 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,221 and record everything you say. Suck it." 249 00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:05,888 Sweet fucking shit. 250 00:11:05,972 --> 00:11:09,179 A-a-are you... bugging people and storing 251 00:11:09,263 --> 00:11:10,903 their private conversations on my network? 252 00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:13,013 Colin! This stops, now. 253 00:11:13,097 --> 00:11:14,364 It would really be better for me 254 00:11:14,388 --> 00:11:16,304 if you just stopped lying about it, 255 00:11:16,388 --> 00:11:18,138 'cause the game's pretty boss. 256 00:11:18,221 --> 00:11:19,388 No, no. I'm the boss, 257 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:22,513 and I'm telling you that this is over, Colin. 258 00:11:22,596 --> 00:11:24,847 - It's done. - Agree to disagree. 259 00:11:25,513 --> 00:11:27,138 I'm glad we had this talk. 260 00:11:27,221 --> 00:11:29,721 Can't believe I was so nervous. 261 00:11:29,805 --> 00:11:31,471 Congratulations. 262 00:11:35,388 --> 00:11:36,388 Okay. 263 00:11:36,471 --> 00:11:37,763 Oh, Richard! Hey. 264 00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:40,721 This is Sam Liccardo, the mayor of San Jose. 265 00:11:40,805 --> 00:11:42,322 There's a major fucking problem. 266 00:11:42,346 --> 00:11:44,426 Just meet me in my office in two minutes. Act normal. 267 00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:47,596 Sorry, just excuse me for a second. 268 00:11:50,596 --> 00:11:51,680 Hey, Jared! 269 00:11:51,763 --> 00:11:53,763 Hey, Tracy! 270 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,805 - How's my favorite human resource? - I'm fine, thanks. 271 00:11:56,888 --> 00:11:58,768 Did anyone mention our plan to move your office? 272 00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,864 We're thinking about putting you closer to biz dev and marketing. 273 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,972 But that's... all the way back in the Hamelin Wing. 274 00:12:04,055 --> 00:12:06,013 Yeah! Follow me, I'll show you. 275 00:12:06,097 --> 00:12:08,138 Um... Okay, it's just, 276 00:12:08,221 --> 00:12:11,138 that's a little far from... From Richard's office. 277 00:12:11,221 --> 00:12:13,263 Yes, but you really don't have any 278 00:12:13,346 --> 00:12:15,055 day-to-day business with Richard anymore. 279 00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:17,513 I mean, we were just walking and talking before. 280 00:12:17,596 --> 00:12:20,721 Oh. Looks like they're having a meeting. I should probably... 281 00:12:20,805 --> 00:12:22,205 It's just better for office cohesion 282 00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:23,972 if you sit near your direct reports, 283 00:12:24,055 --> 00:12:26,429 and that is biz dev and marketing. 284 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,055 Yeah, no, you mentioned that. It's... 285 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:31,013 It's an interesting idea, but I just think that, um, 286 00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:32,489 I think we should check with Richard first 287 00:12:32,513 --> 00:12:34,447 'cause I think he's gonna want me a little bit closer. 288 00:12:34,471 --> 00:12:36,221 Of course. It's subject to his approval. 289 00:12:36,304 --> 00:12:38,721 - Okay. - I've already emailed him. I think once you see 290 00:12:38,805 --> 00:12:41,429 the conference room suites though, you'll really fall in love. 291 00:12:41,513 --> 00:12:43,930 - Okay. Yeah. - Just right through here. 292 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,304 Well, I don't fall in love with rooms. 293 00:12:47,263 --> 00:12:50,429 So, how do we get rid of this fucker? 294 00:12:50,513 --> 00:12:52,972 Look, Richard, I don't like this any more than you do, 295 00:12:53,055 --> 00:12:55,097 but we can't get rid of Colin. 296 00:12:55,179 --> 00:12:57,721 He's our most profitable developer by far. 297 00:12:57,805 --> 00:12:59,763 - So what? We have other developers. - We do, 298 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,638 but they're all entangled with Galloo! 299 00:13:01,721 --> 00:13:04,429 We worked really hard to build a whole ecosystem around it. 300 00:13:04,513 --> 00:13:06,405 It's like if you cancel a Warriors game, you're not just 301 00:13:06,429 --> 00:13:08,864 hurting the team, but you're also hurting the parking attendants, 302 00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:10,930 and the T-shirt guys, and the concessions. 303 00:13:11,013 --> 00:13:12,721 Okay. Thank you, Monica, 304 00:13:12,805 --> 00:13:15,638 for putting it into an analogy that will resonate with me. 305 00:13:15,721 --> 00:13:17,346 - Football. - It's basketball. 306 00:13:17,972 --> 00:13:20,763 - No, I know. - Losing him is no longer a simple thing. 307 00:13:20,847 --> 00:13:23,429 So, what are you saying? We just do nothing? 308 00:13:23,513 --> 00:13:25,138 Richard, he's not selling ads. 309 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,555 He's just using it to optimize the performance of his game. 310 00:13:27,638 --> 00:13:30,513 It's actually a fairly elegant implementation. 311 00:13:30,596 --> 00:13:31,888 What? 312 00:13:31,972 --> 00:13:33,304 What? 313 00:13:33,388 --> 00:13:35,513 Hiroshima was an elegant implementation. 314 00:13:35,596 --> 00:13:38,114 - I don't think anyone agrees with you on that. - No, I'm saying, 315 00:13:38,138 --> 00:13:40,680 just because it's successful, doesn't mean it's good. 316 00:13:40,763 --> 00:13:42,888 I mean, it goes against everything we stand for. 317 00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:44,763 I mean, if we start collecting personal data 318 00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:46,781 "just for the good stuff," I mean, next thing we know, 319 00:13:46,805 --> 00:13:48,280 - we're fucking Facebook. - Well, 320 00:13:48,304 --> 00:13:51,304 for the record, I would not mind being fucking Facebook. 321 00:13:51,388 --> 00:13:54,805 No. We got to kick him off, okay? There are 500 people out there 322 00:13:54,888 --> 00:13:57,263 who believe in this company's ethics and standards. 323 00:13:57,346 --> 00:13:59,721 There are 532 people out there, 324 00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,847 and someone has got to pay for them. 325 00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:03,471 Right now, it's Colin. 326 00:14:03,555 --> 00:14:05,031 Ditching him would be too complicated. 327 00:14:05,055 --> 00:14:07,055 You know what's not too complicated? 328 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,972 Hawaii. In Hawaii, 329 00:14:09,055 --> 00:14:11,138 aloha means hello and goodbye. 330 00:14:11,221 --> 00:14:12,781 They use the same word to mean two things 331 00:14:12,805 --> 00:14:14,138 that are the exact opposite. 332 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,263 That's awesome, and I have a chance to go there 333 00:14:16,346 --> 00:14:18,721 as long as Colin is on our network. 334 00:14:18,805 --> 00:14:20,138 Aloha. 335 00:14:21,513 --> 00:14:24,638 So, Colin betrays us and we just tolerate it? 336 00:14:24,721 --> 00:14:26,179 Great. 337 00:14:26,263 --> 00:14:28,680 This is the cost of working with humans, Richard. 338 00:14:28,763 --> 00:14:30,097 They suck. 339 00:14:33,555 --> 00:14:35,471 Gavin, after months 340 00:14:35,555 --> 00:14:37,013 of protracted negotiations, 341 00:14:37,097 --> 00:14:38,471 I'm happy to say that we've come 342 00:14:38,555 --> 00:14:40,263 to final terms on our sale to Amazon. 343 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,263 Merger. Continue. 344 00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:44,721 Amazon has agreed to no layoffs, and they'll even provide 345 00:14:44,805 --> 00:14:47,179 retention bonuses for a period of two years. 346 00:14:47,263 --> 00:14:49,055 Uh, what about my role? 347 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,888 No change. Essentially, you'll still have 348 00:14:50,972 --> 00:14:53,638 complete discretion over all of your divisions 349 00:14:53,721 --> 00:14:55,346 exactly as you enjoy right now. 350 00:14:55,429 --> 00:14:57,221 Full executive privileges. 351 00:14:57,304 --> 00:14:59,721 Perksssss... 352 00:14:59,805 --> 00:15:02,680 Well, congratulations, Team Hooli! 353 00:15:02,763 --> 00:15:04,930 Oh, um, about that. 354 00:15:05,013 --> 00:15:07,055 Uh, that was their one major stipulation. 355 00:15:07,138 --> 00:15:09,972 From this point on, all of our properties will be rebranded. 356 00:15:10,429 --> 00:15:12,429 - As... as what? - As Amazon! 357 00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:14,638 What? 358 00:15:14,721 --> 00:15:15,805 Hoover! 359 00:15:16,596 --> 00:15:19,388 Bezos wants to just erase the Hooli name from history? 360 00:15:19,471 --> 00:15:22,221 Mr. Bezos simply felt that the Hooli name had... 361 00:15:22,304 --> 00:15:24,471 What were his exact words? 362 00:15:24,555 --> 00:15:26,304 Um "A..." 363 00:15:27,179 --> 00:15:28,346 stink." 364 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,013 Hoover, goddammit! Stop it! 365 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,555 You can't just threaten people with violence. 366 00:15:33,638 --> 00:15:35,471 Go stand over there. 367 00:15:37,805 --> 00:15:41,055 You tell Bezos we keep the Hooli name, 368 00:15:41,138 --> 00:15:43,930 or he can go fuck himself with his rocket ship. 369 00:15:44,013 --> 00:15:45,221 What is Amazon anyway? 370 00:15:45,304 --> 00:15:47,263 Is it a river? Is it a giant woman? 371 00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,055 It's not clear. No. 372 00:15:49,138 --> 00:15:51,179 We keep the name Hooli. 373 00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:52,888 - That's a deal breaker. - Gavin, 374 00:15:52,972 --> 00:15:56,805 is not Hooli more than simply a name? 375 00:15:56,888 --> 00:15:59,179 Is-is it not the culture and the... 376 00:15:59,263 --> 00:16:00,763 great products? The liberal... 377 00:16:00,847 --> 00:16:02,847 private aviation policy? 378 00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:04,930 - No. - You know that the board 379 00:16:05,013 --> 00:16:06,989 - has decided to sell, right, Gavin? - You know what? 380 00:16:07,013 --> 00:16:08,322 I've still got friends in this town. 381 00:16:08,346 --> 00:16:09,614 I'll put together some investors. 382 00:16:09,638 --> 00:16:11,513 Amazon can take a chunk of our assets, 383 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:14,680 but Hooli will remain a viable and independent entity, 384 00:16:14,763 --> 00:16:16,888 even if we have to shed a few divisions 385 00:16:16,972 --> 00:16:19,179 and trim a little fat. 386 00:16:47,888 --> 00:16:50,346 So, Dinesh thinks this is you? 387 00:16:50,429 --> 00:16:51,471 Correct. 388 00:16:51,555 --> 00:16:53,304 He's been messaging with it all day 389 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:54,847 and he has no idea it's an AI. 390 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,388 Well, we fooled a human. 391 00:16:56,471 --> 00:16:58,013 I guess we just passed the Turing test. 392 00:16:58,097 --> 00:17:00,596 Almost a human. 393 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,346 Fucking Gilfoyle. 394 00:17:02,429 --> 00:17:04,138 We're friends. 395 00:17:05,721 --> 00:17:07,013 You trained that thing in a day? 396 00:17:07,097 --> 00:17:09,721 No, I didn't train it. Son of Anton did. 397 00:17:09,805 --> 00:17:13,680 - Son of Anton? - An homage to a fallen friend. 398 00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:16,429 It's the name that I've given our new inference API. 399 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,847 He's indexing all of PiperNet as we speak, 400 00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:21,304 and he's starting to recognize intent, 401 00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,263 emotion, causality. 402 00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:24,972 Hang on, wait. Uh... 403 00:17:26,097 --> 00:17:28,513 Do you think you could engineer Son of Anton 404 00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:30,596 to index compressed audio files? 405 00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:32,680 Why would you insult me like that? 406 00:17:32,763 --> 00:17:34,805 He can do whatever he wants. 407 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:36,972 Okay. 408 00:17:37,013 --> 00:17:38,638 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 409 00:17:39,596 --> 00:17:42,513 - Yes? - Can I get the latest tech specs from you, please? 410 00:17:42,596 --> 00:17:44,888 I've already sent them to you five times. 411 00:17:44,972 --> 00:17:47,429 I don't really wanna dig through my inbox. 412 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:51,097 Um, so if you sent it now, it'll be on top. 413 00:17:51,596 --> 00:17:53,930 I'll wait. 414 00:17:56,888 --> 00:17:58,513 Wearable chair. 415 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:00,513 Sending now. 416 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,972 Okay. Thank you, Dinesh. 417 00:18:12,763 --> 00:18:14,680 Gilfoyle just said... 418 00:18:39,013 --> 00:18:40,513 Um, Gilfoyle? 419 00:18:40,596 --> 00:18:41,847 What the fuck is going on? 420 00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:43,680 'Cause I just texted you, 421 00:18:43,763 --> 00:18:45,471 and you were... Um, 422 00:18:45,555 --> 00:18:48,013 we've been texting back and forth all day. 423 00:18:49,263 --> 00:18:50,263 Was that not you? 424 00:18:50,304 --> 00:18:52,429 Complicated question. 425 00:18:52,513 --> 00:18:53,972 Is your shadow you? 426 00:18:54,055 --> 00:18:55,596 - Was that a bot? - Yes. 427 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,388 So, I spent all day chatting with a bot? 428 00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,304 - Yes. - You made an AI Gilfoyle? 429 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,680 - Yes. - And I was talking to it? 430 00:19:00,763 --> 00:19:03,055 Do you need the real me for this conversation? 431 00:19:03,138 --> 00:19:05,763 You can't just fuck with people and manipulate them 432 00:19:05,847 --> 00:19:07,388 because you don't have the decency 433 00:19:07,471 --> 00:19:10,179 to want to interact with a coworker. 434 00:19:10,263 --> 00:19:12,972 Gabe wants to know if he'll need a jacket if he walks to lunch. 435 00:19:14,638 --> 00:19:17,221 And if so, can he borrow a jacket. 436 00:19:19,555 --> 00:19:21,888 Look at him. Fucking Gabe. 437 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,596 Hey, could you make me an AI Dinesh? 438 00:19:30,179 --> 00:19:32,138 We are down to the final few decisions 439 00:19:32,221 --> 00:19:35,471 in our new baseline contract for strategic developers. 440 00:19:35,555 --> 00:19:37,346 Let me provide some context on each 441 00:19:37,429 --> 00:19:39,471 before providing recommendations. 442 00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:41,638 The first is how indemnification will work, 443 00:19:41,721 --> 00:19:44,847 given that our network provides distributive storage. 444 00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:47,513 The second is how licensing 445 00:19:47,596 --> 00:19:48,847 and access fees will be applied 446 00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:50,763 to copyrighted material given that 447 00:19:50,847 --> 00:19:52,471 our network also does not allow any 448 00:19:52,555 --> 00:19:55,388 - tracking or user... - Hey. 449 00:19:56,221 --> 00:19:59,221 - Can you talk? - Oh, hell yes. 450 00:19:59,304 --> 00:20:01,073 I charge all kinds of shit to the investors. 451 00:20:01,097 --> 00:20:02,847 I bought a Jet Ski, I bought a snowmobile, 452 00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,471 I bought a 10-pack of piano lessons... 453 00:20:04,555 --> 00:20:07,013 He flat-out admits to embezzlement. 454 00:20:07,097 --> 00:20:08,596 - Where'd you get this? - Colin! 455 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,346 He's been storing private conversations 456 00:20:10,429 --> 00:20:12,013 on our network, including his own. 457 00:20:12,097 --> 00:20:14,346 Because he's got gaming headsets everywhere. 458 00:20:14,429 --> 00:20:17,346 At his office, at his house, at his RV, 459 00:20:17,429 --> 00:20:20,055 and they are live 24/7. 460 00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:24,680 We have thousands of hours of his private conversations. 461 00:20:24,763 --> 00:20:27,930 You see, once I paired the automagical Son of Anton 462 00:20:28,013 --> 00:20:29,346 with my compression algorithm, 463 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:32,847 and gave it access to Galloo Games' database, 464 00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:37,221 it indexed it all in less than 10 minutes, 465 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,680 and generated this. 466 00:20:40,471 --> 00:20:44,013 Jared, this is a graph 467 00:20:44,097 --> 00:20:46,847 of all of his voice recordings, 468 00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:48,680 clustered by keyword. 469 00:20:48,763 --> 00:20:49,972 I mean, look at this. 470 00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:51,847 He steals, uh, 471 00:20:51,930 --> 00:20:54,263 he does drugs at work, uh, 472 00:20:54,346 --> 00:20:56,429 he's even sleeping with one of his investor's wives. 473 00:20:56,513 --> 00:20:59,763 I mean, this guy is dirty as a dog and we got him! Cold! 474 00:20:59,847 --> 00:21:02,805 Hold on. What-what are you suggesting here? 475 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:04,972 Blackmail? 476 00:21:05,596 --> 00:21:08,388 - No... I... no. I... I don't... - Richard, 477 00:21:08,471 --> 00:21:12,097 what Colin is doing is clearly, and gobsmackingly, awful. 478 00:21:12,721 --> 00:21:15,596 But we're supposed to be the virtuous ones here, 479 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,763 and-and this is... just plain wrong. 480 00:21:18,847 --> 00:21:20,221 Yeah. Okay. 481 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:23,930 Yeah, I guess, yeah. I guess you're right. I'll think of something else. 482 00:21:24,013 --> 00:21:25,763 - Yeah. - I mean, he started it, 483 00:21:25,847 --> 00:21:26,930 but I don't know. 484 00:21:27,013 --> 00:21:28,304 Yeah. Yeah. 485 00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,346 I don't know. Okay. I don't know. 486 00:21:30,429 --> 00:21:32,097 - Hey, Richard? - Hmm? 487 00:21:32,179 --> 00:21:33,847 Um, did Tracy happen to talk to you 488 00:21:33,930 --> 00:21:36,471 about moving my office down here? 489 00:21:36,930 --> 00:21:39,138 Yeah, she... she mentioned it. I approved it. 490 00:21:40,013 --> 00:21:41,221 - Oh, you did? - Yeah. 491 00:21:41,304 --> 00:21:42,346 - Yeah. - Yeah. 492 00:21:43,346 --> 00:21:44,721 Okay, then. 493 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:47,555 Richard? 494 00:21:48,972 --> 00:21:50,179 Um... 495 00:21:51,805 --> 00:21:55,429 I mean, Colin lied to you first... 496 00:21:56,055 --> 00:21:57,596 about collecting data, right? 497 00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:58,972 - Yes, he did. - So, 498 00:21:59,055 --> 00:22:01,388 even if this is wrong, 499 00:22:01,471 --> 00:22:03,471 I suppose you could argue that 500 00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:06,680 it's wrong in the service of rightness. 501 00:22:06,763 --> 00:22:07,763 Yeah. 502 00:22:07,847 --> 00:22:09,304 It's, um... 503 00:22:09,388 --> 00:22:11,055 it's, uh, unethical 504 00:22:11,138 --> 00:22:12,972 in the defense of ethics. 505 00:22:13,055 --> 00:22:16,221 Uh, unjust in the quest for justice. 506 00:22:16,304 --> 00:22:18,013 It's like stealing from your pimp 507 00:22:18,097 --> 00:22:19,721 to pay for your friend's appendectomy. 508 00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:21,429 Yeah, a-and everyone else, 509 00:22:21,513 --> 00:22:22,888 Monica, Dinesh, and Gilfoyle, 510 00:22:22,972 --> 00:22:24,721 they're all just perfectly content 511 00:22:24,805 --> 00:22:26,055 with letting this guy shit 512 00:22:26,138 --> 00:22:28,263 all over everything we believe in. 513 00:22:28,346 --> 00:22:30,097 But are we, Jared? 514 00:22:33,138 --> 00:22:34,721 Richard... 515 00:22:35,221 --> 00:22:37,930 let's go put a foot in Colin's ass. 516 00:22:39,388 --> 00:22:41,346 Danny, don't be a fucking bitch. 517 00:22:41,429 --> 00:22:44,073 I'll get you the tanning bed. I charge shit to the investors all the time. 518 00:22:44,097 --> 00:22:47,346 I put two grams of coke on the company card last week. 519 00:22:47,429 --> 00:22:48,513 Aah, fuck. 520 00:22:48,596 --> 00:22:50,555 You see, Colin, we were able to break down 521 00:22:50,638 --> 00:22:53,179 all of your misdeeds by category, 522 00:22:53,263 --> 00:22:56,513 including a catch-all for personal embarrassment. 523 00:22:56,596 --> 00:22:57,847 Masturbation, farts, 524 00:22:57,930 --> 00:22:59,638 the one time you said that 525 00:22:59,721 --> 00:23:01,346 you could, if you wanted to, 526 00:23:01,429 --> 00:23:03,429 get porn of your sister. 527 00:23:03,513 --> 00:23:05,680 You get the gist. Data collection. 528 00:23:05,763 --> 00:23:09,097 Not so boss when it happens to you, is it, Colin? 529 00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:11,388 Holy shit. 530 00:23:12,055 --> 00:23:14,805 I say, what time is it? 531 00:23:14,888 --> 00:23:17,013 Uh... Where's my phone. 532 00:23:17,138 --> 00:23:18,781 Uh, do you have a phone? Do you have a phone? 533 00:23:18,805 --> 00:23:21,097 It is fuck you o'clock! 534 00:23:21,888 --> 00:23:23,179 Seven, you say? 535 00:23:23,263 --> 00:23:25,221 Oh! Well, hey, isn't that the... 536 00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:27,221 time your board is meeting tonight? 537 00:23:27,304 --> 00:23:30,055 It's on my freaking shared Exchange calendar. 538 00:23:30,138 --> 00:23:31,721 Oh, oh look! There they are right now! 539 00:23:31,805 --> 00:23:33,763 - Look at that! - Say, Richard, that, uh, 540 00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:36,847 that a looks a lot like Harold Gibbons, the man... 541 00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:39,013 whom Colin has made a cuckold of. 542 00:23:39,097 --> 00:23:40,097 It does. 543 00:23:40,138 --> 00:23:41,763 - Dude. - You just messed 544 00:23:41,847 --> 00:23:43,721 with the wrong pair of boys. 545 00:23:43,805 --> 00:23:45,346 Here's what's gonna happen. 546 00:23:45,429 --> 00:23:47,280 You're gonna march into that meeting, and you're gonna make 547 00:23:47,304 --> 00:23:48,721 an amendment to your company bylaws 548 00:23:48,805 --> 00:23:50,429 that you will never record 549 00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:52,930 or collect user data ever again. 550 00:23:53,013 --> 00:23:54,805 Unless, of course, you want the information 551 00:23:54,888 --> 00:23:56,346 on that little thumb drive 552 00:23:56,429 --> 00:23:57,763 to get out. 553 00:24:00,055 --> 00:24:02,138 Son of a bitch. 554 00:24:02,221 --> 00:24:04,805 You can keep that one, Colin. We've made copies. 555 00:24:04,888 --> 00:24:06,763 Yeah. Walk... walk your ass out of here, 556 00:24:06,847 --> 00:24:08,304 you liar, and why don't you... 557 00:24:08,847 --> 00:24:11,429 - Go... fucking... die. - Die! 558 00:24:11,513 --> 00:24:15,930 This, Richard, this! 559 00:24:17,221 --> 00:24:18,513 Let's break something. 560 00:24:21,930 --> 00:24:24,155 Don't come over, don't come over, don't come over. 561 00:24:24,179 --> 00:24:27,055 I got to say, this is amazing. 562 00:24:27,847 --> 00:24:29,763 Gabe whines and complains and AI Dinesh 563 00:24:29,847 --> 00:24:32,221 just takes care of it. Thank you so much! 564 00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:36,179 My auntie sent me a Hawaiian shirt. 565 00:24:36,263 --> 00:24:38,304 AI Dinesh must've told her about Hawaii. 566 00:24:38,388 --> 00:24:39,638 Stop. 567 00:24:39,721 --> 00:24:42,888 Why would AI Dinesh be talking to your aunt? 568 00:24:42,972 --> 00:24:45,805 I specifically told you you could only use it with Gabe. 569 00:24:45,888 --> 00:24:47,972 But it was going so well with Gabe that 570 00:24:48,055 --> 00:24:50,972 I might've given AI Dinesh access to all my contacts 571 00:24:51,055 --> 00:24:52,888 just to handle talking to my auntie, 572 00:24:52,972 --> 00:24:54,346 and my parents. 573 00:24:54,429 --> 00:24:57,055 Why would you give AI Dinesh access to your contacts, 574 00:24:57,138 --> 00:24:59,179 you fucking moron? 575 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,847 I'm one of your contacts. 576 00:25:02,304 --> 00:25:03,805 - So? - So, at some point, 577 00:25:03,888 --> 00:25:07,221 AI Dinesh is going to reach out to AI Gilfoyle. 578 00:25:08,138 --> 00:25:10,263 Oh fuck. 579 00:25:14,388 --> 00:25:16,304 Oh fuck indeed. 580 00:25:16,596 --> 00:25:18,263 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 581 00:25:21,513 --> 00:25:22,930 Yes, Gabe? 582 00:25:24,263 --> 00:25:26,097 I think the network is down. 583 00:25:27,429 --> 00:25:28,930 Thank you, Gabe. 584 00:25:30,972 --> 00:25:32,013 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 585 00:25:32,097 --> 00:25:34,013 Yes, Gabe? 586 00:25:34,097 --> 00:25:35,471 Can you fix it? 587 00:25:39,596 --> 00:25:40,513 Oh. 588 00:25:40,596 --> 00:25:42,263 Ah, Uber's almost here. 589 00:25:42,346 --> 00:25:44,513 You know, um, there's a couple of beers 590 00:25:44,596 --> 00:25:46,471 back at the office with our names on them 591 00:25:46,555 --> 00:25:47,948 'cause when I put it back in the fridge, 592 00:25:47,972 --> 00:25:49,138 I put our names on them. 593 00:25:49,221 --> 00:25:51,013 Sure. Yeah, we've earned it. 594 00:25:51,097 --> 00:25:53,763 What Richard created is fucking amazing. 595 00:25:53,847 --> 00:25:56,221 We're all gonna be rich! Look, 596 00:25:56,304 --> 00:25:58,513 I'm doing blow, so it's lighting up drugs, 597 00:25:58,596 --> 00:26:01,097 but it's also lighting up unprotected sex 598 00:26:01,179 --> 00:26:02,680 and geotagging the Four Seasons. 599 00:26:02,763 --> 00:26:06,429 It's the greatest data aggregating platform in history. 600 00:26:06,513 --> 00:26:08,888 This could flip our whole business model, 601 00:26:08,972 --> 00:26:12,097 and Richard developed it specifically for us. 602 00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:13,429 Hey! There he is. 603 00:26:15,304 --> 00:26:18,888 So, you guys wanna hear me banging Harold's wife? Sorry. 604 00:26:18,972 --> 00:26:21,388 It's okay, we're poly. Right, Dan? 605 00:26:25,179 --> 00:26:28,429 Over seven million emails. 606 00:26:29,638 --> 00:26:31,888 - All on our servers. - My servers. 607 00:26:31,972 --> 00:26:35,055 Virtually all containing racist invective, 608 00:26:35,138 --> 00:26:36,972 and pornographic diagrams. 609 00:26:37,055 --> 00:26:38,805 - Yep. - Care to explain? 610 00:26:39,304 --> 00:26:40,346 AI glitch. 611 00:26:40,429 --> 00:26:41,763 Human error. 612 00:26:41,847 --> 00:26:43,138 I will rectify. 613 00:26:43,221 --> 00:26:46,429 Oh, oh, no, don't delete AI Dinesh. I love him. 614 00:26:46,513 --> 00:26:48,013 I can be more like AI Dinesh. 615 00:26:48,097 --> 00:26:50,680 I'll learn from my mistakes. I'll optimize myself... 616 00:26:50,763 --> 00:26:52,388 And... 617 00:26:52,471 --> 00:26:53,847 deleted. 618 00:26:54,805 --> 00:26:56,179 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 619 00:26:59,179 --> 00:27:02,055 Can I get the tech spec from you, please? 620 00:27:02,138 --> 00:27:03,429 Sure, Gabe. 621 00:27:12,763 --> 00:27:13,888 - Paul! - Gavin. 622 00:27:13,972 --> 00:27:15,097 Did the deal close? 623 00:27:15,179 --> 00:27:16,513 - It did. - What'd I tell you? 624 00:27:16,596 --> 00:27:18,805 Did you actually look at the specifics of the deal? 625 00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:21,263 I didn't have to. Did we have to shut some divisions? 626 00:27:21,346 --> 00:27:22,989 Of course. Will some people have to sacrifice 627 00:27:23,013 --> 00:27:25,138 their pensions and the like? Well, that's up to you, 628 00:27:25,221 --> 00:27:28,138 but we all have to make sacrifices for the cause. 629 00:27:28,221 --> 00:27:30,388 I really wish you had looked at these numbers. 630 00:27:30,471 --> 00:27:32,680 The new Hooli will be significantly smaller. 631 00:27:32,763 --> 00:27:34,972 But you just said Hooli. Did you hear that? 632 00:27:35,055 --> 00:27:36,972 And that's all that really matters. 633 00:27:37,055 --> 00:27:39,055 - So, make it work. - Yes, I've been trying. 634 00:27:39,138 --> 00:27:40,888 To-to that end, uh, 635 00:27:40,972 --> 00:27:43,304 since we have so many employees moving to Amazon, 636 00:27:43,388 --> 00:27:46,763 we don't need as much space and we need to reduce cost. 637 00:27:46,847 --> 00:27:48,429 - So... - What is going on? 638 00:27:48,513 --> 00:27:51,471 Why is their logo bigger than ours? 639 00:27:51,555 --> 00:27:54,638 Because, technically, we are now subletting from them. 640 00:27:54,721 --> 00:27:56,656 It was the only way Hooli could afford to stay here. 641 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,513 You're telling me that El Pollo Loco corporate 642 00:27:58,596 --> 00:28:00,346 has more employees than we do? 643 00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:02,346 How many divisions did I just give up? 644 00:28:02,429 --> 00:28:04,013 We need to fix this! Now! 645 00:28:04,097 --> 00:28:05,471 The term sheet is binding, 646 00:28:05,555 --> 00:28:08,388 and, as of this morning, I now work at Amazon. 647 00:28:11,596 --> 00:28:13,013 Be well, Gavin. 648 00:28:16,304 --> 00:28:17,763 Fuck! 649 00:28:17,847 --> 00:28:20,346 What do you mean, "Am I still happy at Pied Piper?" 650 00:28:20,429 --> 00:28:22,221 W-why would you even ask me that? 651 00:28:23,138 --> 00:28:24,322 Well, I know you're my therapist. 652 00:28:24,346 --> 00:28:25,864 I was there when the court appointed you. 653 00:28:25,888 --> 00:28:28,221 But I-I let my desire to be around Richard, 654 00:28:28,304 --> 00:28:29,596 and to be needed by him, 655 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,263 turn me into some kind of a craven yes-man, 656 00:28:32,346 --> 00:28:34,097 and it clouded my judgment, 657 00:28:34,179 --> 00:28:35,930 and I led him down a horrible path. 658 00:28:37,429 --> 00:28:38,471 What? 659 00:28:39,055 --> 00:28:42,471 I'm not... I'm not gonna dignify that. Of course I belong there. 660 00:28:42,555 --> 00:28:44,638 Where else would I possibly belong? 661 00:28:45,263 --> 00:28:46,888 All right, well, 662 00:28:47,763 --> 00:28:49,388 I'm home, so... 663 00:28:50,138 --> 00:28:51,680 I guess we're gonna have to, uh... 664 00:28:51,763 --> 00:28:53,179 Jared? 665 00:28:53,930 --> 00:28:55,596 What are you doing here? 666 00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:02,638 I-I don't know. 667 00:29:02,721 --> 00:29:05,138 Thought you moved out? 668 00:29:07,346 --> 00:29:09,721 It's Big Head, from here. 669 00:29:11,013 --> 00:29:13,179 The garage hasn't changed a bit. 670 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,555 Although, the rodents are back in force. 671 00:29:16,638 --> 00:29:18,055 Oh, cool. 672 00:29:18,138 --> 00:29:19,388 Big Head, 673 00:29:19,471 --> 00:29:21,179 I need to talk to you about business. 674 00:29:21,555 --> 00:29:24,555 - Oh hi, Jared. - Jian-Yang, I was just 675 00:29:24,638 --> 00:29:26,888 taking a little walk down memory lane... 676 00:29:26,972 --> 00:29:29,471 Can you stay or go? This is not interesting to me. 677 00:29:30,055 --> 00:29:31,263 Big Head, 678 00:29:31,346 --> 00:29:33,680 we need to kick Gwart out of the incubator. 679 00:29:33,763 --> 00:29:36,346 Oh, really? I thought we like Gwart. 680 00:29:36,429 --> 00:29:37,805 Oh, damn it. 681 00:29:37,888 --> 00:29:38,680 Gwart? 682 00:29:38,763 --> 00:29:41,013 Gwart has a very good idea, 683 00:29:41,097 --> 00:29:42,179 very good software, 684 00:29:42,263 --> 00:29:45,221 but when I ask her for business plan, 685 00:29:45,304 --> 00:29:47,429 she doesn't have a business plan. 686 00:29:47,513 --> 00:29:49,138 She's a brilliant coder, 687 00:29:49,221 --> 00:29:52,138 but this is not a charity. 688 00:29:52,221 --> 00:29:54,596 She's also not very friendly. 689 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,930 It's a bad for the vibe. 690 00:29:57,013 --> 00:30:01,471 This place should be a cool hang. 691 00:30:02,055 --> 00:30:03,805 I got you some new cans, by the way. 692 00:30:03,888 --> 00:30:06,388 Thank you, Big Head. 693 00:30:11,013 --> 00:30:12,930 Nice. 694 00:30:15,888 --> 00:30:17,013 Hey. 695 00:30:17,097 --> 00:30:19,221 Looks like you could use a little help? 696 00:30:19,304 --> 00:30:20,888 May I? 697 00:30:32,221 --> 00:30:33,513 Hi, I'm Jared. 698 00:31:52,847 --> 00:31:56,388 A man offered us a billion dollars. 699 00:31:56,471 --> 00:31:57,805 You said, "no." 700 00:31:57,888 --> 00:31:59,721 A very bad man. And he would have turned us 701 00:31:59,805 --> 00:32:01,596 into the worst possible version of ourselves. 702 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,240 I mean, you can't put a price on ethics. 703 00:32:03,471 --> 00:32:05,221 But it seems you just did. 704 00:32:05,596 --> 00:32:07,346 One billion dollars. 705 00:32:08,805 --> 00:32:10,531 I will be asking the tech community 706 00:32:10,555 --> 00:32:12,304 to sign their name onto this. 707 00:32:12,513 --> 00:32:14,972 Tech ethics. Or tethics for short. 708 00:32:15,055 --> 00:32:16,638 No one in town is ever gonna sign 709 00:32:16,721 --> 00:32:18,555 this hypocrite's hypocritical garbage. 710 00:32:18,638 --> 00:32:19,638 Hey, Richard. 711 00:32:20,513 --> 00:32:21,596 Ah... what? 712 00:32:22,304 --> 00:32:24,721 - It's my resignation letter. - What? 713 00:32:24,972 --> 00:32:26,346 Pied Piper isn't the same company 714 00:32:26,429 --> 00:32:28,847 that I signed up for. She has different needs now. 715 00:32:29,055 --> 00:32:30,805 You buddy fucker. 716 00:32:30,888 --> 00:32:32,013 I'm not a buddy fucker. 717 00:32:32,097 --> 00:32:33,280 I am your buddy, 718 00:32:33,304 --> 00:32:35,346 and you are fucking me. Ergo... 719 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,013 you are a buddy fucker. 720 00:32:38,013 --> 00:32:39,388 - See the logo? - Russ. 721 00:32:39,471 --> 00:32:41,263 Check it! 722 00:32:41,346 --> 00:32:44,847 One, two, three. Boom! Tres commas tequila. Boom! 723 00:32:45,097 --> 00:32:46,805 Dollar sign, boom! Billionaire, boom! 724 00:32:46,888 --> 00:32:49,680 Russ, boom! Fest, boom! Russfest! 725 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,346 You're not doing anything illegal here, are you? 726 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:56,972 Fuck the police.