1
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:11,527
Everything here is made out of garbage.

2
00:00:11,529 --> 00:00:15,027
Upcycling is at the very core
of the modern maker movement.

3
00:00:15,029 --> 00:00:16,952
It's very responsible.

4
00:00:16,954 --> 00:00:19,286
Like these doggie chew
toys made out of...

5
00:00:19,288 --> 00:00:21,027
used retainers?

6
00:00:21,029 --> 00:00:22,952
Ugh! Too responsible!

7
00:00:24,496 --> 00:00:27,044
Hey, guys. You're craft fair fans, too?

8
00:00:27,046 --> 00:00:29,936
Ew, no. We're doing
a photo scavenger hunt

9
00:00:29,938 --> 00:00:31,694
for Francine's birthday party.

10
00:00:31,696 --> 00:00:33,770
We need a picture of something sad.

11
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,694
I wonder why I wasn't invited.

12
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,712
'Cause you're a party narc
who ruins everybody's fun.

13
00:00:39,714 --> 00:00:42,933
What? When have I ever done that?

14
00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:45,211
You once deflated a bouncy house
'cause you smelled mildew.

15
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,361
You shut down a pool party

16
00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:48,119
'cause the diving board wasn't code.

17
00:00:48,121 --> 00:00:49,378
You stopped a barbecue

18
00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:51,712
because the fire
extinguishers were expired.

19
00:00:51,714 --> 00:00:53,770
Okay, okay, I get it.

20
00:00:53,772 --> 00:00:55,453
Basically, you're a wet blanket.

21
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,694
That's not true,
she's more like a blanket

22
00:00:57,696 --> 00:01:00,453
that tattles and kills all joy.

23
00:01:00,455 --> 00:01:02,194
Ooh, that's sad.

24
00:01:05,352 --> 00:01:08,579
Oh, what a beautiful little box.

25
00:01:08,614 --> 00:01:10,952
- I'll take this.
- You'll need this polish.

26
00:01:10,954 --> 00:01:13,119
It's my blend of secret ingredients,

27
00:01:13,121 --> 00:01:16,860
including carnauba wax.
That-that one's not a secret.

28
00:01:16,862 --> 00:01:18,603
Okay, I'll take both.

29
00:01:18,605 --> 00:01:19,936
I have to explain to the box

30
00:01:19,938 --> 00:01:21,694
that it's going to live with you now.

31
00:01:21,696 --> 00:01:23,545
Okay, baby, you're gonna go...

32
00:01:23,547 --> 00:01:25,902
Are you seeing this?

33
00:01:25,904 --> 00:01:27,860
Are you seeing that?

34
00:01:29,614 --> 00:01:30,620
Man bun.

35
00:01:30,622 --> 00:01:33,119
Pathetic old dude thinks
death won't find him

36
00:01:33,121 --> 00:01:35,286
if he has a freaky hair lump.

37
00:01:36,923 --> 00:01:38,169
Stupid bun.

38
00:01:40,455 --> 00:01:41,936
Homer, Marge!

39
00:01:41,938 --> 00:01:45,288
You finally get to meet my special lady.

40
00:01:45,323 --> 00:01:46,620
This is Blythe.

41
00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:49,269
Special lady? Since when?

42
00:01:49,271 --> 00:01:52,952
Oh. Oh, it's been almost six months.

43
00:01:52,954 --> 00:01:54,878
And we're just hearing about it now?

44
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:58,119
What do you mean?
I left you tons of messages.

45
00:01:58,121 --> 00:02:00,119
I thought those were all butt-dials.

46
00:02:01,196 --> 00:02:03,798
Homer, I've met someone...

47
00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:05,060
I'm in lo...

48
00:02:05,748 --> 00:02:07,760
Blythe and I are getting seri...

49
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:11,769
I fell out of the senior van
and I'm lost...

50
00:02:11,771 --> 00:02:13,628
How did you two meet?

51
00:02:13,663 --> 00:02:15,694
I was hired by the Retirement Castle

52
00:02:15,696 --> 00:02:20,044
to cleanse auras with a
therapeutic sound bath.

53
00:02:20,046 --> 00:02:22,194
But I don't want inner peace.

54
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,194
But when she started gongin' her gongs,

55
00:02:29,196 --> 00:02:33,620
it felt like I stuck my tongue
in love's power outlet.

56
00:02:33,622 --> 00:02:36,936
Oh, wow.

57
00:02:36,938 --> 00:02:39,378
As Abe vibrated past,

58
00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:43,269
there was something inside
him that called to me.

59
00:02:43,271 --> 00:02:46,378
It was the bullet I
fired into my foot during the war

60
00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:48,286
to get out of KP duty.

61
00:02:56,697 --> 00:02:58,993
We're not wasting any more time.

62
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:01,043
I'm moving in with her.

63
00:03:01,045 --> 00:03:04,135
I finally found true love.

64
00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:06,469
And I finally won't have to pay

65
00:03:06,471 --> 00:03:09,969
for your retirement home.

66
00:03:12,546 --> 00:03:14,894
You have so many chimes.

67
00:03:14,896 --> 00:03:17,210
You're not going to miss any wind.

68
00:03:17,212 --> 00:03:19,453
Ooh, this is my son Calvin.

69
00:03:19,455 --> 00:03:21,785
Felicitous greetings on this day to you.

70
00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:23,544
That's how this one guy
talked in Star Trek

71
00:03:23,546 --> 00:03:25,135
when they went to a Shakespeare planet.

72
00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:26,727
It's how I'm saying hello these days.

73
00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:29,394
Oh, uh, hello-eth to you.

74
00:03:29,396 --> 00:03:31,210
What a charmer.

75
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,561
- How old is Calvin?
- 11.

76
00:03:33,563 --> 00:03:35,727
Hmm, so you had him when you were...

77
00:03:35,729 --> 00:03:38,377
Oh, he's adopted.

78
00:03:38,379 --> 00:03:42,394
Cute kid, but, man,
my dad's gonna eat him alive.

79
00:03:44,804 --> 00:03:46,894
Hey, there's my guy.

80
00:03:46,896 --> 00:03:48,228
Wha?

81
00:03:48,230 --> 00:03:50,228
Uppies!

82
00:03:53,563 --> 00:03:55,952
He never gave me uppies.

83
00:04:00,642 --> 00:04:03,952
Abe and Calvin love to cook for company.

84
00:04:03,954 --> 00:04:05,635
Final looks on the plating, chef.

85
00:04:05,637 --> 00:04:08,802
That one needs a sweep
of balsamic, chef.

86
00:04:08,804 --> 00:04:11,286
Nobody's refilled my water glass.

87
00:04:11,288 --> 00:04:13,969
This restaurant would
get zero Michelin tires.

88
00:04:13,971 --> 00:04:16,635
Tonight we've made for
you a roasted chicken

89
00:04:16,637 --> 00:04:18,210
with apricot and fennel.

90
00:04:18,212 --> 00:04:20,785
- Mmm.
- How are we enjoying the first bites?

91
00:04:20,787 --> 00:04:22,210
Hmm...

92
00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:25,135
Well, I'm not getting fennel at all.

93
00:04:25,137 --> 00:04:26,802
So that's a fail.

94
00:04:26,804 --> 00:04:28,119
Don't be rude.

95
00:04:28,618 --> 00:04:29,618
Shelf rat!

96
00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:33,647
Well, they're both rodents,
but this little dude

97
00:04:33,682 --> 00:04:36,411
is a Sciuridae,
or squirrel, if you prefer.

98
00:04:36,413 --> 00:04:39,061
I'd prefer that it
not stare into my soul

99
00:04:39,063 --> 00:04:40,394
like it knows my sins.

100
00:04:40,396 --> 00:04:44,228
Calvin does taxidermy.
That's one of his pieces.

101
00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:48,785
He's a rising star in the field.
He takes classes with adults.

102
00:04:48,787 --> 00:04:50,377
You can't even see the tire tracks

103
00:04:50,379 --> 00:04:52,228
on this guy anymore.

104
00:04:52,230 --> 00:04:54,453
Uhp, time for your glocky-drops, Abe.

105
00:04:54,455 --> 00:04:58,561
Aw, that stuff makes me blinder
than an umpire in a mineshaft.

106
00:04:58,563 --> 00:05:02,727
You know the drill, commodore.
Head back, eyes open.

107
00:05:02,729 --> 00:05:06,119
Rain, rain.

108
00:05:06,121 --> 00:05:08,043
Windshield wipers!

109
00:05:12,159 --> 00:05:13,635
Here you go, sweetie.

110
00:05:13,637 --> 00:05:18,043
We made that chestnut
stuffing I know you love.

111
00:05:18,045 --> 00:05:21,560
Abe, you're feeding
the thermostat again.

112
00:05:21,562 --> 00:05:24,228
D'oh! Damn glocky-drops!

113
00:05:26,453 --> 00:05:28,952
Yo, our grandfather
Abe Simpson moved out,

114
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,228
but left his... denture cup.

115
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:32,785
Do you have a lost and found?

116
00:05:32,787 --> 00:05:34,453
Please say you don't
have a lost and found.

117
00:05:34,455 --> 00:05:35,710
Oh, Abe's moved out?

118
00:05:35,712 --> 00:05:38,135
Well, his room is paid up
for the next two weeks.

119
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,635
Uh, actually, I misspoke.

120
00:05:40,637 --> 00:05:44,876
Um, Abe is still using the room.
Using it like crazy.

121
00:05:45,896 --> 00:05:49,119
We own this place for two whole weeks.

122
00:05:49,121 --> 00:05:50,969
- Hmm.
- We can take a shower in a chair,

123
00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:53,394
- flush the toilet a million times...
- Interesting.

124
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:56,560
Oh, you're gonna tell Mom and
Dad about this, aren't you?

125
00:05:56,562 --> 00:06:00,727
Nope, this is one whistle
I'm not gonna blow.

126
00:06:00,729 --> 00:06:05,286
Instead, what if we used this room

127
00:06:05,288 --> 00:06:08,453
to throw the greatest
slumber party ever?

128
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,302
No rules, no limits,

129
00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:14,061
and, dare I say it, no slumbering.

130
00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:16,061
Tell me more.

131
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:21,228
Also, that kid is not
that good of a cook.

132
00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:22,894
There's such a thing as chicken being

133
00:06:22,896 --> 00:06:24,894
too tender and juicy, you know?

134
00:06:24,896 --> 00:06:28,394
Our wood is really loving
this carnauba stuff.

135
00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:31,635
And what kind of kid does taxidermy?

136
00:06:31,637 --> 00:06:33,168
Dead animals are meant to be

137
00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:35,627
poked with a stick, end of story.

138
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:39,110
Homer, you've been complaining
about Calvin for three days.

139
00:06:39,112 --> 00:06:41,461
Why are you so obsessed with him?

140
00:06:41,463 --> 00:06:43,852
What? I don't think about him at all.

141
00:06:43,854 --> 00:06:47,276
But did you notice how
he asked to be excused?

142
00:06:47,278 --> 00:06:49,627
That speaks to a guilty conscience.

143
00:06:49,629 --> 00:06:50,793
And another thing.

144
00:06:50,795 --> 00:06:52,534
Why is my tongue swelling up?

145
00:06:52,752 --> 00:06:54,776
What is this rash?

146
00:06:54,778 --> 00:06:56,685
Oh, my gosh.

147
00:06:56,687 --> 00:07:00,369
You must be having an allergic
reaction to the carnauba wax.

148
00:07:00,371 --> 00:07:02,776
Well, stop using it!

149
00:07:02,778 --> 00:07:05,960
I-I've rubbed it into the floors,
the windows.

150
00:07:05,962 --> 00:07:09,276
Every wood surface in the
house has been carnauba'd!

151
00:07:09,278 --> 00:07:11,294
It'll take weeks to dissipate!

152
00:07:11,296 --> 00:07:13,627
But where do I go to breathe?

153
00:07:16,037 --> 00:07:18,276
Yay, you're here.

154
00:07:18,278 --> 00:07:20,460
I was putting up glow-in-the-dark stars.

155
00:07:20,462 --> 00:07:22,202
I'll let you distribute the other half,

156
00:07:22,204 --> 00:07:24,460
since you're kind of
like my brother now.

157
00:07:24,462 --> 00:07:27,609
Brother? I'm a grown man.

158
00:07:27,611 --> 00:07:30,685
Half? This is barely a third. No fair!

159
00:07:30,687 --> 00:07:31,727
Dad!

160
00:07:34,956 --> 00:07:39,534
Okay, Harry Potter chapter read,
pillow fluffed...

161
00:07:39,536 --> 00:07:42,627
Scary German puppet
turned to face the wall.

162
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,110
Uh-huh.

163
00:07:44,112 --> 00:07:47,627
And now, a good-night kiss.

164
00:07:47,629 --> 00:07:49,185
Mmm...

165
00:07:49,187 --> 00:07:50,518
Watch your feet!

166
00:07:53,354 --> 00:07:55,202
Night, Calvin.

167
00:07:55,204 --> 00:07:59,276
Psst. Homer. Want to play 20 questions?

168
00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:02,910
Okay. Question number one: Shut up.

169
00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:04,609
You're funny.

170
00:08:04,611 --> 00:08:06,185
We should go out on our bikes tomorrow.

171
00:08:06,187 --> 00:08:09,442
I know this place by the nuclear
plant that has the best jumps.

172
00:08:09,444 --> 00:08:11,127
Oh, wait. Did you bring your bike?

173
00:08:11,129 --> 00:08:13,518
I don't have a bike, I have a car.

174
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,685
And I don't play at the nuclear plant,

175
00:08:15,687 --> 00:08:20,127
I work there because I am a grown-up.

176
00:08:20,129 --> 00:08:22,127
Abe says I'm mature for my age.

177
00:08:22,129 --> 00:08:24,018
When we check in at a restaurant,

178
00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:25,185
he gives the host my name,

179
00:08:25,187 --> 00:08:27,484
so I'm practically a grown-up, too.

180
00:08:27,486 --> 00:08:29,460
No, you're not.
You're a pants-wetting baby.

181
00:08:30,184 --> 00:08:32,442
That is patently untrue.

182
00:08:32,444 --> 00:08:34,127
I have excellent bladder control.

183
00:08:34,129 --> 00:08:37,035
If anything, I hold it in too long.

184
00:08:37,037 --> 00:08:38,202
Pants-wetting baby!

185
00:08:38,204 --> 00:08:40,627
Stop lying!

186
00:08:41,299 --> 00:08:43,685
You threw that zipper-first!

187
00:08:45,271 --> 00:08:48,442
My orrery! Eat gas giants!

188
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,609
I'll give you a gas giant!

189
00:08:52,536 --> 00:08:55,943
Stop squirming and let me fart...

190
00:08:55,945 --> 00:08:58,127
- No!
- ... on your head!

191
00:08:58,129 --> 00:09:00,384
Never!

192
00:09:00,386 --> 00:09:01,442
Ow!

193
00:09:02,390 --> 00:09:05,368
I welcomed you into my home,

194
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:09,185
my room, where I keep my artifacts.

195
00:09:09,187 --> 00:09:13,018
But you, sir, are a butt brain!

196
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:16,368
From here on out, it's war.

197
00:09:52,703 --> 00:09:56,018
Thank you, Mother.
Pickup is noon tomorrow.

198
00:09:56,020 --> 00:09:58,752
Don't be early. Bye, now.

199
00:10:00,353 --> 00:10:03,460
Drive away. Don't look back.

200
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:12,351
- Welcome to our pop-up sleepover.

201
00:10:12,353 --> 00:10:14,776
Do you have the "birthday gift"?

202
00:10:14,778 --> 00:10:17,534
One $25 gift card.

203
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:24,351
Take off your shoes,
we have unlimited bed-jumping.

204
00:10:26,854 --> 00:10:29,035
I've never felt so alive!

205
00:10:29,037 --> 00:10:33,185
We got PG-13 movies,
rated "M" videogames.

206
00:10:33,187 --> 00:10:34,776
What if Mother calls?

207
00:10:34,778 --> 00:10:38,351
We got Milhouse in the closet
standing by. Guy's a pro.

208
00:10:38,353 --> 00:10:40,960
Oh, hello, Wendell's mom.

209
00:10:40,962 --> 00:10:44,110
Yes, I will remind him
to wear his night guard,

210
00:10:44,112 --> 00:10:47,251
because I am another parent. Love you.

211
00:10:48,536 --> 00:10:53,852
Lis, take a moment.
We did this. You did this.

212
00:11:01,778 --> 00:11:04,868
I am Lisa, bringer of fun.

213
00:11:04,870 --> 00:11:07,627
Driest of blankets.

214
00:11:10,112 --> 00:11:12,018
Must you hit every bump?

215
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,019
Oh!

216
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:15,351
Oops.

217
00:11:15,353 --> 00:11:17,776
I make a million dollars a year.
Did you know that?

218
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,534
- No, you don't.
- Oh, yeah?

219
00:11:19,536 --> 00:11:21,776
Then why do I have a ton of DVDs?

220
00:11:21,778 --> 00:11:23,451
What's a DVD?

221
00:11:24,462 --> 00:11:27,185
Ugh, your car smells like fried chicken.

222
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,793
No, I smell like fried chicken.

223
00:11:30,872 --> 00:11:32,868
Can you breathe through your mouth?

224
00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:35,018
Your nose is squeaky.

225
00:11:39,629 --> 00:11:40,960
Yeah?

226
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:04,701
Wow, Calvin, what a great start.

227
00:12:04,703 --> 00:12:08,501
But how would a pelican have
access to a freshwater fish?

228
00:12:09,181 --> 00:12:11,460
Well, that's the joke!

229
00:12:13,277 --> 00:12:16,518
Oh, so funny to murder
innocent water birds.

230
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,793
Uh, it died of natural causes,
ding-dong.

231
00:12:19,795 --> 00:12:22,018
I have a network of park ranger friends

232
00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:23,982
who save dead animals for me.

233
00:12:24,017 --> 00:12:27,275
So you're not a psychopath,
just a weirdo. Got it.

234
00:12:27,277 --> 00:12:29,868
It's always sad when an animal dies,

235
00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:33,852
but this pelican gets to
speak to the world as art.

236
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:36,035
I was inspired to make this

237
00:12:36,037 --> 00:12:38,460
after Abe told me about
his time in the war.

238
00:12:38,462 --> 00:12:42,293
His stories are so cool, but disturbing.

239
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:43,534
I will not sit here

240
00:12:43,536 --> 00:12:46,960
and have you call my
father's stories cool!

241
00:12:46,962 --> 00:12:49,018
They're meandering and endless.

242
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:52,685
I'm going to Moe's,
where people know what's boring.

243
00:12:54,186 --> 00:12:55,852
And it's not just taxidermy,

244
00:12:55,854 --> 00:12:58,293
Calvin's got a million creepy hobbies.

245
00:12:58,295 --> 00:13:01,239
And my dad thinks they're all great.

246
00:13:01,274 --> 00:13:04,609
When I was his age,
I was cleaning pool covers from below.

247
00:13:04,611 --> 00:13:08,126
Yeah, going house to house
with my scrub brush and Speedo.

248
00:13:08,128 --> 00:13:11,126
I stuck googly eyes on shells
and sold them at the beach.

249
00:13:11,128 --> 00:13:13,442
Till my dad told me to knock it off

250
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:15,627
because people would
think I was a freak.

251
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,776
Yeah, my pop also told me to lay low.

252
00:13:18,778 --> 00:13:20,976
Literally. We were gravediggers.

253
00:13:21,011 --> 00:13:23,035
We took turns sleeping in open graves.

254
00:13:23,037 --> 00:13:24,960
Heh. Nothin' builds character

255
00:13:24,962 --> 00:13:28,534
like waking up to a coffin
being lowered on top of youse.

256
00:13:28,536 --> 00:13:30,418
To unprocessed trauma.

257
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,460
- Hi, Lisa!
- She waved to us!

258
00:13:36,862 --> 00:13:38,342
Our sleepover is a hit.

259
00:13:38,344 --> 00:13:40,100
We have the room for one more weekend.

260
00:13:40,102 --> 00:13:42,434
We're gonna be gift card thousand-aires.

261
00:13:42,436 --> 00:13:45,267
No, Bart, we have to reinvest
in our next party.

262
00:13:45,269 --> 00:13:46,693
We have to top ourselves.

263
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:50,267
I'm thinking face painters,
walk-around SpongeBob,

264
00:13:50,269 --> 00:13:52,918
one of those pools you can surf in.

265
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,526
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you chain-sucking lollypops?

266
00:13:56,528 --> 00:13:58,267
Just need a little something

267
00:13:58,269 --> 00:14:00,192
'cause I didn't sleep much last night.

268
00:14:00,194 --> 00:14:02,675
I was pricing mashed potato stations.

269
00:14:02,677 --> 00:14:06,675
Lisa, in the non-weekend world,
you have to have a bedtime.

270
00:14:07,061 --> 00:14:09,175
I don't want to live in
the non-weekend world.

271
00:14:09,177 --> 00:14:11,509
We've only got one more chance

272
00:14:11,511 --> 00:14:14,860
to scrawl our names across
the slumber party sky.

273
00:14:14,862 --> 00:14:16,901
I'll sleep when I'm nine.

274
00:14:25,199 --> 00:14:27,342
Hmm? Hmm.

275
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,026
Look at me, I'm Calvin.

276
00:14:29,028 --> 00:14:31,359
I'm little but I use big words.

277
00:14:31,361 --> 00:14:34,342
Son, I know it's hard sharing a room

278
00:14:34,344 --> 00:14:38,175
with someone so, uh, different than you.

279
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:41,568
But you've handled it
with grace and maturity.

280
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,192
Anyway, I just wanted to say

281
00:14:45,194 --> 00:14:48,192
I'm so proud of you... Calvin.

282
00:14:48,865 --> 00:14:50,751
Ooh, aah, dah!

283
00:14:50,753 --> 00:14:55,026
I can't see a thing with
these glaucoma drops.

284
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,417
He thinks I'm Calvin.

285
00:14:56,419 --> 00:14:58,342
Look at how he looks at him.

286
00:14:58,344 --> 00:15:00,359
He never looked at me that way.

287
00:15:00,361 --> 00:15:02,951
Are you okay, kid?
You seem kind of quiet.

288
00:15:02,953 --> 00:15:05,526
It's just... I've never heard you say

289
00:15:05,528 --> 00:15:10,084
you were proud of me.
Ever. In my entire life.

290
00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:11,675
What are you talking about?

291
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:14,842
I say that to you all the time, Calvin.

292
00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:17,601
Oh.

293
00:15:17,603 --> 00:15:18,934
I forgot.

294
00:15:26,603 --> 00:15:30,192
Homer, you villain!
Do not harm that birdhouse.

295
00:15:30,194 --> 00:15:32,526
The nuthatches did nothing to you!

296
00:15:34,102 --> 00:15:35,601
What's wrong with you?

297
00:15:35,603 --> 00:15:39,100
My dad kisses the butt you walk on.

298
00:15:39,102 --> 00:15:41,267
I'd get it if you were great at sports,

299
00:15:41,269 --> 00:15:44,417
or fixing cars,
or demolishing buildings,

300
00:15:44,419 --> 00:15:46,918
but you're just a weird little kid.

301
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,192
And my dad hates weird little kids.

302
00:15:49,194 --> 00:15:52,100
At least... he sure hated me.

303
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:55,342
Homer, Abe doesn't hate you.

304
00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:56,693
Oh, yeah? I'll show you.

305
00:15:56,695 --> 00:15:59,601
We got ten minutes until
his eyedrops wear off.

306
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:01,793
You be me.

307
00:16:03,695 --> 00:16:05,526
Dad, do you have a second?

308
00:16:05,528 --> 00:16:08,693
Dang it, Homer.
Do you think I'm made of seconds?

309
00:16:09,528 --> 00:16:13,450
I was in the middle of a very
important word find puzzle.

310
00:16:13,485 --> 00:16:16,192
I was about to find the
longest diagonal of my career.

311
00:16:16,194 --> 00:16:17,509
Now what do you want?

312
00:16:17,511 --> 00:16:19,026
Um, I-I...

313
00:16:19,028 --> 00:16:21,609
You, you, you nothing!

314
00:16:23,194 --> 00:16:26,026
Wow, that was harsh.

315
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,601
Do you ever tell him
how he makes you feel?

316
00:16:28,603 --> 00:16:31,842
Kinda. I stuck him in the worst
nursing home I could find.

317
00:16:31,844 --> 00:16:33,601
Figured he'd read between the lines.

318
00:16:33,603 --> 00:16:37,026
I think you need to find a new
way to express your feelings.

319
00:16:37,028 --> 00:16:39,860
It might need to be
more than just words.

320
00:16:39,862 --> 00:16:44,509
But my way with words be my
best moutha-ma-callits. Aw.

321
00:16:44,511 --> 00:16:47,342
You'll figure out a way to
get through to your dad.

322
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:49,984
You just need to put on
your thinking cap.

323
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,192
Where have you been?

324
00:16:58,194 --> 00:16:59,751
I had to get Band-Aids.

325
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,768
Lewis got stabbed with
a juice box straw.

326
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:05,192
Somebody fed the pony Pop
Rocks and he kicked out the TV.

327
00:17:05,194 --> 00:17:07,026
His poop is popping!

328
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:13,175
The climbing wall collapsed
onto the Reptile Rodeo.

329
00:17:13,177 --> 00:17:15,509
There's loose tails everywhere.

330
00:17:15,511 --> 00:17:19,735
I tried to throw a party,
but the party threw me.

331
00:17:19,737 --> 00:17:21,751
I'm putting a stop to this.

332
00:17:21,753 --> 00:17:23,008
Are you sure?

333
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:24,401
You know what that will make you.

334
00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:28,342
Hello? Yes, I'd like to blow the whistle

335
00:17:28,344 --> 00:17:32,008
on an out-of-control party
at The Retirement Castle.

336
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:36,601
Oh, my name?
It's Lisa Simpson, party narc.

337
00:17:37,603 --> 00:17:41,100
Well, the party's shut down,
kids are packing up their stuff.

338
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,526
Great. I'm sure they all hate me.

339
00:17:43,528 --> 00:17:45,584
Yeah, probably.

340
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,859
I gotta dump the churro
sugar out of my shoes.

341
00:17:51,590 --> 00:17:52,841
They've arrested Lisa!

342
00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:56,859
She's paying the ultimate price
for throwing the ultimate party.

343
00:17:56,861 --> 00:17:58,651
You're our hero, Lisa!

344
00:18:01,677 --> 00:18:03,509
If you drive me home with the siren on,

345
00:18:03,511 --> 00:18:06,601
we've got a freezer full of Snickers.

346
00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:08,434
Go, Lisa!

347
00:18:08,436 --> 00:18:11,434
- Lisa, you're the best!
- You got this, Lisa!

348
00:18:11,436 --> 00:18:13,192
Call your lawyer!

349
00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:21,751
There's some really
inspiring work here tonight.

350
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:26,751
Yours is a blistering indictment
of American consumerism.

351
00:18:26,753 --> 00:18:28,584
I love how the middle joey

352
00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:30,342
is looking in the opposite direction,

353
00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:33,026
as if imagining a different future.

354
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:35,859
Glad you got that.
I worried it was too subtle.

355
00:18:35,861 --> 00:18:38,467
Oh, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

356
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:45,251
Now, let's announce tonight's winners.

357
00:18:45,253 --> 00:18:48,526
Hold on, there's one more entry!

358
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:52,916
A strange man with an object
hidden under a pillowcase?

359
00:18:52,918 --> 00:18:56,083
Come on up! I want to see this.

360
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:59,933
I was told to find a
new way to communicate.

361
00:18:59,935 --> 00:19:03,916
My stepbrother Calvin expresses
his feelings through taxidermy,

362
00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:07,766
so I decided I would do the same.

363
00:19:07,768 --> 00:19:10,526
That's not taxidermy, you idjit!

364
00:19:10,528 --> 00:19:14,174
But it's very deep. And... sad.

365
00:19:14,176 --> 00:19:18,083
The small shell pleading with
its eyes to the larger one.

366
00:19:18,085 --> 00:19:22,359
It is clearly about a son's
need for his father's approval.

367
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:26,100
What? It's just two smelly
shells glued on a board.

368
00:19:26,102 --> 00:19:30,933
Abe, look at it. Really look at it.

369
00:19:30,935 --> 00:19:32,250
Hmm.

370
00:19:40,754 --> 00:19:45,192
What these shells are saying,
is that how you feel?

371
00:19:45,194 --> 00:19:48,433
You seem to love being a dad to Calvin,

372
00:19:48,435 --> 00:19:52,841
but you hated being a dad to me.

373
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:57,508
No, son, no. See, when you were a kid,

374
00:19:57,510 --> 00:20:01,192
being a dad felt like
the end of my youth.

375
00:20:01,194 --> 00:20:03,417
But now with Calvin,

376
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:06,600
it's my last chance to feel young.

377
00:20:06,602 --> 00:20:11,267
Oh, so what you're saying is
no matter how old you are,

378
00:20:11,269 --> 00:20:15,341
it's only ever been about what you need.

379
00:20:15,343 --> 00:20:18,100
You finally get me.

380
00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:20,750
It wasn't because I was a bad kid.

381
00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:24,174
You're just horribly flawed.

382
00:20:24,176 --> 00:20:26,267
I am!

383
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,417
Another family saved by taxidermy.

384
00:20:31,419 --> 00:20:33,100
All right, let's wrap things up.

385
00:20:33,102 --> 00:20:35,433
We have 20 minutes before
this room is taken over

386
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:38,008
by the Massage Table Expo.

387
00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:51,750
So, Blythe dumped me for a guy

388
00:20:51,752 --> 00:20:53,916
she says is a better
spiritual match for her.

389
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:56,916
Also, he's super rich and can eat corn.

390
00:20:56,918 --> 00:20:59,341
He's taking Calvin to
Africa to study animals

391
00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:01,359
in their natural habitat.

392
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,750
I'll miss that little scamp,
but you know,

393
00:21:03,752 --> 00:21:07,192
I'm glad you and I are
finally communicating.

394
00:21:07,194 --> 00:21:10,750
I love you, son. Anyway, call me back.

395
00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:13,526
Your dad left you another message.

396
00:21:13,528 --> 00:21:15,942
Eh, it's probably just a butt-dial.

397
00:21:28,571 --> 00:21:30,000
Shh!

398
00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:35,533
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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