1
00:00:09,692 --> 00:00:11,856
Hmm. Hmm.

2
00:00:11,858 --> 00:00:12,864
- Hmm!

3
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,523
Hey, guys.

4
00:00:17,525 --> 00:00:20,006
It's your favorite
YouTube family vloggers:

5
00:00:20,008 --> 00:00:21,264
the Simpsons.

6
00:00:21,266 --> 00:00:23,022
Coinstar bought us a new house,

7
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:26,281
and we're gonna give you the grand tour.

8
00:00:26,283 --> 00:00:29,006
Come on in. Take your shoes off first.

9
00:00:29,008 --> 00:00:32,281
All 50 million of you.

10
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:37,673
Now, we can't tell you where
the new house is located

11
00:00:37,675 --> 00:00:40,339
because we value our privacy.

12
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:43,431
Which you know if you watched
our last family therapy sesh

13
00:00:43,433 --> 00:00:46,782
where Marge begged me to stop
filming our therapy seshes.

14
00:00:46,784 --> 00:00:48,597
Video link in bio.

15
00:00:48,599 --> 00:00:50,356
This is my favorite room

16
00:00:50,358 --> 00:00:53,782
because the kitchen is
really the heart of a home.

17
00:00:53,784 --> 00:00:56,356
Also, because a robot cleans it.

18
00:00:56,358 --> 00:00:57,506
And check it out.

19
00:00:57,508 --> 00:01:01,339
The refrigerator blends into the wall.

20
00:01:01,341 --> 00:01:05,114
No more tedious seeing your
refrigerator all the time.

21
00:01:05,116 --> 00:01:08,448
Come on, we want to show you
our favorite room.

22
00:01:12,116 --> 00:01:14,506
This is our screening room.

23
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,264
It's also where we
shoot our confessionals.

24
00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:21,097
It's cool that Dad doesn't have
to work nine to five anymore.

25
00:01:21,099 --> 00:01:24,231
We just have to post 15 videos a day.

26
00:01:24,266 --> 00:01:26,448
After homeschooling,
we're free to do fun kid stuff.

27
00:01:26,450 --> 00:01:28,764
Zoom calls with our fan club in Dubai,

28
00:01:28,766 --> 00:01:31,006
giving Lamborghinis to the homeless.

29
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,448
Sometimes I just chill in my room,

30
00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:35,281
recording Cameo messages
until my voice gives out.

31
00:01:36,692 --> 00:01:38,406
Huh.

32
00:01:43,599 --> 00:01:45,006
M'atchomaroon,

33
00:01:45,008 --> 00:01:47,006
or "Hey, guys" in Dothraki.

34
00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:48,673
Today I'm doing a deep-dive

35
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,114
on the Internet's current obsession,

36
00:01:50,116 --> 00:01:53,054
The Simpsons Family Channel. Camera 2.

37
00:01:53,089 --> 00:01:56,006
In case you've been living in a
tauntaun these past four months,

38
00:01:56,008 --> 00:01:57,948
here's the video that started it all:

39
00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:01,114
"Cute Baby Gets Stage Fright."
Let's take a look.

40
00:02:09,841 --> 00:02:13,690
Maggie, remember what we practiced.

41
00:02:13,692 --> 00:02:17,764
Poke Daddy's tummy and kill the ants.

42
00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:21,764
Shake your diaper,

43
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,839
touch the starfish,

44
00:02:23,841 --> 00:02:25,615
open your sandwich,

45
00:02:25,617 --> 00:02:27,597
and Mick Jagger, Jagger, Jagger.

46
00:02:32,476 --> 00:02:33,506
No, don't!

47
00:02:41,033 --> 00:02:43,531
Best... origin story... ever.

48
00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:46,261
It deservedly got 20 million views,

49
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:49,423
and Homer launched a channel
all about the special bond

50
00:02:49,425 --> 00:02:51,846
between himself and
the youngling Maggie.

51
00:03:04,848 --> 00:03:06,089
Say, Maggie,

52
00:03:06,258 --> 00:03:09,439
do you think our viewers
could enter the code "Aw"

53
00:03:09,441 --> 00:03:14,448
with 15 Ws for a discount
from Toy-Weasel.com?

54
00:03:15,425 --> 00:03:16,698
Mmm.

55
00:03:16,924 --> 00:03:19,589
The Internet fell in love
with the rest of the Simpsons

56
00:03:19,591 --> 00:03:21,156
when they released...

57
00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:49,472
Whoa, what's going on?

58
00:03:50,774 --> 00:03:52,681
Oh. I love this song.

59
00:03:57,425 --> 00:03:59,105
Hmm.

60
00:03:59,107 --> 00:04:01,105
Hmm.

61
00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:09,514
Greetings, newshounds.

62
00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:13,606
Today, a retrospective on
The Simpsons Family Vlog.

63
00:04:13,608 --> 00:04:17,013
In case you've been living
in a grammar-rodeo boot camp

64
00:04:17,015 --> 00:04:18,055
these past four months,

65
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,180
here's the video that started it all.

66
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,180
Soon each family member
had their own channel.

67
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,180
Marge combined her love of cooking

68
00:04:28,182 --> 00:04:30,105
and deeply personal questions

69
00:04:30,107 --> 00:04:32,606
for a groundbreaking interview show.

70
00:04:32,608 --> 00:04:34,864
How you holding up, Krusty?

71
00:04:34,866 --> 00:04:36,680
Ready for number four?

72
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:39,256
I'm not gonna lie,

73
00:04:39,258 --> 00:04:41,439
number three feels like
it's not done with me,

74
00:04:41,441 --> 00:04:44,089
but my agent said this is
what talk shows are now,

75
00:04:44,091 --> 00:04:46,031
so... bring it on.

76
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,439
Next up, The Coagulator.

77
00:04:48,441 --> 00:04:51,198
A tuna melt dipped in
funnel cake batter,

78
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,846
then fried in hot mayonnaise.

79
00:04:53,848 --> 00:04:56,680
It clocks in at 300,000

80
00:04:56,682 --> 00:04:58,514
on the Lethargo Scale.

81
00:04:58,516 --> 00:05:01,256
Oh, I'm really regretting
all those bagels

82
00:05:01,258 --> 00:05:03,489
I ate in the greenroom.

83
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,680
The grease and the powdered sugar

84
00:05:08,682 --> 00:05:12,013
are forming a paste in
the back of my throat.

85
00:05:12,015 --> 00:05:14,846
Do you think your
comedy is fueled by rage

86
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,198
towards your father or towards yourself?

87
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,922
Well, I'd rather talk
about my new holiday movie,

88
00:05:20,924 --> 00:05:23,589
A Very Merry Bris-mas.

89
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,755
Oh, the batter is in my lungs.

90
00:05:27,757 --> 00:05:31,347
Ow! Why is this a show?

91
00:05:31,349 --> 00:05:34,364
And Bart took pranking
to a whole new level

92
00:05:34,366 --> 00:05:36,531
with The 'Gurt Squad.

93
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,822
Can I sample the strawberry yogurt?

94
00:05:45,848 --> 00:05:48,439
Wait, I'm allergic to strawb...

95
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,180
The Simpsons were YouTube sensations,

96
00:06:08,182 --> 00:06:10,439
and corporate America lavished them

97
00:06:10,441 --> 00:06:12,089
with sponsorships and lucre.

98
00:06:12,091 --> 00:06:14,347
But Lisa used her newfound fame

99
00:06:14,349 --> 00:06:17,531
to draw attention to
issues close to her heart.

100
00:06:17,533 --> 00:06:20,013
Hey, guys. I'm here at Needle Beach,

101
00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:22,347
super stoked to start this clean-up

102
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,939
because, as you can see,

103
00:06:23,941 --> 00:06:26,089
this beach is pretty messed up.

104
00:06:26,912 --> 00:06:27,946
What's that?

105
00:06:27,948 --> 00:06:30,605
Oh! Oh, you poor thing.

106
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:33,114
Luckily, I always carry wire cutters.

107
00:06:42,848 --> 00:06:44,531
Attention, Internet.

108
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,922
It is I, Truth Wizard.

109
00:06:46,924 --> 00:06:49,617
The Simpsons are not
who you think they are,

110
00:06:49,652 --> 00:06:52,013
and I can't let these lies continue

111
00:06:52,015 --> 00:06:55,191
for even one more sec...

112
00:07:01,091 --> 00:07:03,772
and I can't let these lies continue

113
00:07:03,774 --> 00:07:06,272
for even one more sec...

114
00:07:06,274 --> 00:07:08,697
Milhouse,
why are you sitting in the dark?

115
00:07:08,699 --> 00:07:10,423
You'll ruin your eyes.

116
00:07:10,425 --> 00:07:11,530
Mom.

117
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,755
The doctor said your nose

118
00:07:12,757 --> 00:07:14,180
can't support thicker glasses.

119
00:07:14,182 --> 00:07:17,530
I'm recording a takedown. Get out.

120
00:07:18,441 --> 00:07:21,256
Okay, fine, it's me, Milhouse.

121
00:07:21,258 --> 00:07:25,554
I was the one filming
every Simpson family video.

122
00:07:25,556 --> 00:07:26,680
- Take your shoes off first.

123
00:07:26,682 --> 00:07:30,680
All 50 million of you.

124
00:07:30,682 --> 00:07:32,755
Yo, camera-monkey, shoes off.

125
00:07:32,757 --> 00:07:36,105
I saw firsthand how
the pressure to create content

126
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,530
turned them into monsters.

127
00:07:38,532 --> 00:07:41,680
- Where the hell is the refrigerator?
- Coming.

128
00:07:43,274 --> 00:07:45,031
You have to tap it.

129
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,846
Oh, who would want this?

130
00:07:47,848 --> 00:07:49,680
- I'm getting a hammer.
- No.

131
00:07:49,682 --> 00:07:51,947
You never let me get the hammer!

132
00:07:53,366 --> 00:07:56,013
Ew, your hand is so sweaty.

133
00:07:56,015 --> 00:07:59,605
Would you tell my scene
partner to be professional?

134
00:07:59,607 --> 00:08:02,256
Uh, Bart? Lisa has a note...

135
00:08:02,258 --> 00:08:04,105
- Shut up, Milhouse.
- Ow.

136
00:08:04,107 --> 00:08:05,198
And those cool

137
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,272
'Gurt Squad friends

138
00:08:06,274 --> 00:08:08,772
that hype up Bart's prank videos?

139
00:08:08,774 --> 00:08:11,364
Paid Spucklers.

140
00:08:11,715 --> 00:08:13,381
Hey, guys, you don't have to go home

141
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:15,454
just 'cause we're done filming pranks.

142
00:08:15,456 --> 00:08:19,122
Yeah, we was meaning
to ask you about that.

143
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,214
How is what you do a prank?

144
00:08:22,216 --> 00:08:25,272
This just seems like a
mean-spirited waste of yogurt.

145
00:08:25,274 --> 00:08:27,471
Okay, we'll use pudding. Great note.

146
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,439
Hey, you guys want to jump
on my trampoline?

147
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,529
I'll take the safety barrier down.

148
00:08:31,531 --> 00:08:35,563
We prefer to keep our
relationship professional.

149
00:08:35,565 --> 00:08:37,196
I'll... pay you.

150
00:08:37,756 --> 00:08:41,030
Fine. Time and a half.
And a basket of eggs.

151
00:08:41,032 --> 00:08:42,529
Our hen is feeling poorly.

152
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,788
Even my off-again,
off-again girlfriend Lisa

153
00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:49,880
fell prey to the siren's
call of Internet fame.

154
00:08:49,882 --> 00:08:53,122
What the hell is this?
This beach is spotless.

155
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:56,363
Sorry, Lisa. We're on it.

156
00:08:57,607 --> 00:09:00,880
Now where's this thing
I'm supposed to save?

157
00:09:00,882 --> 00:09:02,788
Uh, Gil, how's it coming?

158
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:05,241
I-I'm trying. Ow!

159
00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:08,298
This little fella's really
good at freeing himself.

160
00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:10,381
That's a rented seal. Catch him.

161
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,955
We're gonna lose our deposit.

162
00:09:13,957 --> 00:09:16,122
But let's take a look
at the relationship

163
00:09:16,124 --> 00:09:18,863
that started this whole crazy ride:

164
00:09:18,865 --> 00:09:20,955
Homer and Maggie.

165
00:09:20,957 --> 00:09:23,030
We are so excited to work with Maggie

166
00:09:23,032 --> 00:09:24,381
on this viral campaign for

167
00:09:24,383 --> 00:09:27,047
Nom-Noms 6: European Nom-cation.

168
00:09:27,049 --> 00:09:29,380
We got Maggie's room all set up

169
00:09:29,382 --> 00:09:32,105
for the ultimate immersive
Nom-Nom experience.

170
00:09:32,107 --> 00:09:35,105
Uh, one little hiccup.

171
00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:37,621
Maggie's terrified of Nom-Noms,

172
00:09:37,623 --> 00:09:39,047
especially the girl one.

173
00:09:39,049 --> 00:09:41,880
I'm not sure why. Uh, Bart will do it.

174
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,863
The yogurt kid? No way. No.

175
00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:45,196
Either the Internet baby goes in there,

176
00:09:45,198 --> 00:09:47,621
or you forfeit all nom-pensation.

177
00:09:47,623 --> 00:09:51,047
So that's, uh, "nom" -negotiable?

178
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:53,547
That's not a real word.

179
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:56,272
Maggie, there's a cute
baby bunny in there,

180
00:09:56,274 --> 00:10:01,214
so put this GoPro on your head...

181
00:10:02,882 --> 00:10:04,529
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.

182
00:10:06,107 --> 00:10:10,105
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-
nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom...

183
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,421
Oh...

184
00:10:22,274 --> 00:10:24,105
Maggie, I'm sorry.

185
00:10:25,456 --> 00:10:29,122
Poor Maggie.
Although I like the girl Nom-Nom.

186
00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:30,621
I like her a lot.

187
00:10:30,623 --> 00:10:33,454
I like the way her glasses
have eyelashes and...

188
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:35,863
Milhouse, come do your ear drops.

189
00:10:35,865 --> 00:10:37,421
Mom!

190
00:10:40,759 --> 00:10:41,772
Hey, guys.

191
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:44,030
Welcome to episode 751 of

192
00:10:44,032 --> 00:10:45,955
The Lenny and Carl Situation.

193
00:10:45,957 --> 00:10:48,605
Back with us is our frequent guest Moe.

194
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,196
You gonna behave today, Moe?

195
00:10:50,198 --> 00:10:52,955
Hey, don't cancel me, huh?

196
00:10:52,957 --> 00:10:55,214
Today we're talking
about the Simpson family,

197
00:10:55,216 --> 00:10:59,272
specifically "Super Dad" himself,
Homer Simpson.

198
00:10:59,274 --> 00:11:00,438
Guy's a phony.

199
00:11:00,531 --> 00:11:03,380
Full disclosure:
You go back five, six months,

200
00:11:03,382 --> 00:11:05,122
we were best friends with the guy

201
00:11:05,124 --> 00:11:08,030
before he got famous
for those baby videos.

202
00:11:08,032 --> 00:11:10,863
Yeah, so many nights getting
blackout drunk with Homer.

203
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:13,772
I don't remember him
mentioning that baby once.

204
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,880
And I heard Maggie won't make
any more videos with him.

205
00:11:16,882 --> 00:11:21,047
What people been seeing
is all high-tech trickery.

206
00:11:21,049 --> 00:11:23,463
Intern Barney, play the clip.

207
00:11:27,607 --> 00:11:29,880
Mmm.

208
00:11:29,882 --> 00:11:32,380
Oh, even fake Maggies hate me.

209
00:11:34,382 --> 00:11:35,829
You know, I'm thinking about

210
00:11:35,865 --> 00:11:38,585
going on the all-peanut diet.
You heard about this?

211
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:39,961
Supposed to be great for the adrenals.

212
00:11:39,996 --> 00:11:41,938
You know, the Aztecs,
that's all they ate was peanuts.

213
00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,880
Not like the crap we got today.

214
00:11:43,882 --> 00:11:46,696
Them ancient nuts,
they was full of that, uh, uh,

215
00:11:46,698 --> 00:11:48,271
niacinnamonites. Yeah.

216
00:11:48,273 --> 00:11:49,438
'Cause of the sand they had.

217
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,905
And they lived to be a hundred,
200 years old.

218
00:11:52,303 --> 00:11:54,214
Same thing with the Mayans
and cashews...

219
00:11:54,216 --> 00:11:55,463
Uh-uh.

220
00:11:59,614 --> 00:12:01,222
Hey, guys.

221
00:12:01,224 --> 00:12:03,663
We know there have been a
lot of rumors going around.

222
00:12:03,665 --> 00:12:05,888
So we wanted to formally announce

223
00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:08,163
that we'll be making
a formal announcement

224
00:12:08,165 --> 00:12:10,329
tomorrow night on our livestream

225
00:12:10,331 --> 00:12:13,812
which will address all
the recent controversies.

226
00:12:13,814 --> 00:12:18,071
And we'll Cluck-Stop at nothing
to earn your trust back.

227
00:12:19,223 --> 00:12:20,997
That was nine days ago.

228
00:12:20,999 --> 00:12:24,904
Nobody has seen or heard from
the Simpsons family since.

229
00:12:24,906 --> 00:12:27,738
Over the next two hours,
I will break down my theories

230
00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:31,312
on what might have caused
their dramatic disappearance

231
00:12:31,314 --> 00:12:34,830
on this special edition of...

232
00:12:34,832 --> 00:12:38,055
That's your cue.
This special edition of...

233
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:39,237
Frinkileaks.

234
00:12:39,239 --> 00:12:41,871
Now play the suspenseful music.

235
00:12:43,148 --> 00:12:46,146
No, that's a latte macchiato.

236
00:12:48,239 --> 00:12:51,812
Well, you might as well
finish my coffee now.

237
00:13:03,556 --> 00:13:07,997
Which brings us once
again to Snowball I,

238
00:13:07,999 --> 00:13:10,221
which...

239
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,888
Marker fumes. Oh, my.

240
00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:15,329
Hoyvik! Blarvlagin! Ivy.

241
00:13:15,812 --> 00:13:16,812
I apologize.

242
00:13:16,814 --> 00:13:20,404
Um... in summary,
I have concluded that the Simpsons

243
00:13:20,406 --> 00:13:23,812
are being held hostage
by a major tech company.

244
00:13:23,814 --> 00:13:26,554
Now, I cannot say which one, but, um,

245
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,788
follow the Google Doodles.

246
00:13:31,447 --> 00:13:35,496
If, uh, you pause
right where the video glitches,

247
00:13:35,498 --> 00:13:37,645
you can see Homer doesn't look human.

248
00:13:37,647 --> 00:13:41,237
More like an alien wearing
an ill-fitting human suit.

249
00:13:41,239 --> 00:13:42,479
Let me tell you something,

250
00:13:42,481 --> 00:13:45,237
Homer Simpsons has done
more for this country

251
00:13:45,239 --> 00:13:49,387
than Dr. Fauci and Dr.
Pimple Popper combined.

252
00:13:49,389 --> 00:13:52,221
It's not his fault he has a trash son

253
00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:54,329
with a face like a lunch bag, okay?

254
00:13:54,331 --> 00:13:58,221
Leave Homer Simpsons alone!
Leave him alone!

255
00:13:58,223 --> 00:14:00,496
Welcome back to Patty...

256
00:14:00,498 --> 00:14:02,312
And Selma's...

257
00:14:02,314 --> 00:14:04,571
Tingle Palace.

258
00:14:04,573 --> 00:14:07,387
We were going to do part four

259
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:10,997
of our scalp-delousing role-play.

260
00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:14,979
But, in light of recent events,

261
00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:18,162
we're going to tell you what
we think happened to our

262
00:14:18,164 --> 00:14:22,329
sister Marge Simpson.

263
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:29,221
It's pretty obvious that Homer snapped,

264
00:14:29,223 --> 00:14:30,997
ate the whole family,

265
00:14:30,999 --> 00:14:32,663
and is hiding on a houseboat,

266
00:14:32,665 --> 00:14:36,071
in a cloud of belches
that used to be his wife

267
00:14:36,073 --> 00:14:37,663
and kids.

268
00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:46,237
- Hmm... hmm.

269
00:14:46,239 --> 00:14:47,645
What's up, guys? Today we had

270
00:14:47,647 --> 00:14:50,554
a whole cemetery parkour
segment ready to go,

271
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,404
but instead we've got
a big announcement.

272
00:14:53,406 --> 00:14:55,329
The location of the Simpsons' mansion

273
00:14:55,331 --> 00:14:57,221
has always been super secret,

274
00:14:57,223 --> 00:14:58,571
but we figured out where it is.

275
00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:01,645
We found clues in all their old videos.

276
00:15:01,647 --> 00:15:03,571
We're talking regional birdsongs,

277
00:15:03,573 --> 00:15:06,221
town-specific ice cream truck jingle.

278
00:15:06,223 --> 00:15:08,162
But the clincher: my mom's dating a guy

279
00:15:08,164 --> 00:15:10,054
who got fired from the post office,

280
00:15:10,056 --> 00:15:11,888
and he gave us their address.

281
00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:14,571
We're heading there tonight
to get some answers.

282
00:15:14,573 --> 00:15:16,312
But first, parkour.

283
00:15:16,314 --> 00:15:17,904
Parkour.

284
00:15:17,906 --> 00:15:18,979
Beloved husband!

285
00:15:18,981 --> 00:15:20,738
Angel-baby!

286
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:23,054
Jewish guy! Parkour!

287
00:15:23,475 --> 00:15:25,237
Eh... Huh.

288
00:15:25,239 --> 00:15:27,329
Hey, guys, I'm Shauna.

289
00:15:27,331 --> 00:15:29,387
With a freaking exclusive.

290
00:15:29,389 --> 00:15:31,554
I found the Simpsons mansion.

291
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,721
What the hell, Jimbo?
Did you tell her the address?

292
00:15:34,723 --> 00:15:36,663
Duh. She's my girlfriend. Hey...

293
00:15:40,556 --> 00:15:42,997
Martin Prince here, now embedded

294
00:15:42,999 --> 00:15:44,812
at the Simpsons family compound.

295
00:15:44,814 --> 00:15:48,145
We're about to get scooped,
dumb-wads.

296
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:51,997
Hey, guys, Simpsons...

297
00:15:51,998 --> 00:15:53,312
Like and subscribe.

298
00:15:53,314 --> 00:15:54,888
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys.

299
00:15:54,890 --> 00:15:56,812
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys.

300
00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:58,404
It's a vlog swarm.

301
00:15:58,406 --> 00:16:01,070
No, no, no. This is our content.

302
00:16:01,072 --> 00:16:02,371
Okay, okay.

303
00:16:03,906 --> 00:16:06,404
But turn on that light.

304
00:16:06,406 --> 00:16:08,554
This way, come on.

305
00:16:10,239 --> 00:16:11,830
Ha! Look at this.

306
00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:14,571
They obviously left in a
hurry without their phones.

307
00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:17,571
Shut up. I can't hear myself Shauna.

308
00:16:18,906 --> 00:16:20,996
- Move out, people, let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Come on, guys, let's go.

309
00:16:21,489 --> 00:16:23,070
Huh?

310
00:16:25,906 --> 00:16:26,930
- Hmm?
- What is this?

311
00:16:29,232 --> 00:16:30,237
I found 'em!

312
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,312
- Somebody get a pic!
- Bart, the door!

313
00:16:32,406 --> 00:16:34,538
- Grab it!
- Get it!

314
00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:38,830
Welcome, Simpson family.

315
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:42,554
So, nine days in a panic room. Why?

316
00:16:42,556 --> 00:16:44,571
Well, Opal, our house had been built

317
00:16:44,573 --> 00:16:47,312
by a company we partnered with
that, at that point,

318
00:16:47,314 --> 00:16:50,479
had only built NFTs of houses.

319
00:16:50,481 --> 00:16:53,237
They installed the panic
room door backwards.

320
00:16:53,239 --> 00:16:55,612
You could get in, but you can't get out.

321
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:58,404
But how did you all
end up trapped there?

322
00:16:58,406 --> 00:17:01,904
Well, we'd been getting ready
for our redemption livestream,

323
00:17:01,906 --> 00:17:03,978
and we were all a little tense.

324
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,145
So I went to the panic room,
where we stored

325
00:17:06,147 --> 00:17:07,812
all of our sponsored crap,

326
00:17:07,814 --> 00:17:09,978
to get some children's CBD gummies.

327
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:12,162
But I was already in there pounding 'em.

328
00:17:14,406 --> 00:17:17,738
Then I ran in and yelled,
"Stop fighting.

329
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:19,387
"You're going to sweat through

330
00:17:19,389 --> 00:17:21,554
your signature line of
slimming activewear."

331
00:17:21,556 --> 00:17:22,812
But when we tried to leave,

332
00:17:22,814 --> 00:17:23,904
it was locked.

333
00:17:23,905 --> 00:17:25,812
I said, "Nobody panic.

334
00:17:25,814 --> 00:17:27,812
There's got to be a panic button."

335
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,404
Then I walked in, saying,

336
00:17:29,406 --> 00:17:31,312
"Marge, I can't find the fridge again."

337
00:17:31,314 --> 00:17:33,221
We tried to grab the door.

338
00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:34,404
But it was too late.

339
00:17:34,406 --> 00:17:37,479
We were trapped,
and it was all Homer's fault.

340
00:17:37,481 --> 00:17:40,070
What? You said it was nobody's fault.

341
00:17:40,072 --> 00:17:41,978
That's what I'm supposed to feel,

342
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:43,645
but I'm not there yet.

343
00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:46,329
We survived on
products we'd been shilling

344
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:49,145
but had never actually eaten before.

345
00:17:49,147 --> 00:17:51,070
Luckily, there was also a huge supply

346
00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:53,312
of single-use hat-toilets.

347
00:17:53,314 --> 00:17:55,978
Uh, I'm pretty sure
those were just hats.

348
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:58,221
We didn't have any way to post content,

349
00:17:58,223 --> 00:18:01,371
so we went through
pretty severe withdrawal.

350
00:18:07,255 --> 00:18:09,571
Then, sometime around day four,

351
00:18:09,573 --> 00:18:11,346
I said, "Where's Maggie?

352
00:18:11,348 --> 00:18:13,429
She was just here a second ago."

353
00:18:14,905 --> 00:18:16,829
I moved the table from
the wall and said,

354
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:20,346
"Oh, God.
She must've crawled in the vent."

355
00:18:20,348 --> 00:18:23,087
I said, "Maggie, come back."

356
00:18:23,089 --> 00:18:26,737
That I'd never force her
to do content ever again,

357
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,328
that I wouldn't be #Daddy anymore,

358
00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:31,404
I'd just be Daddy.

359
00:18:31,406 --> 00:18:32,829
And then...

360
00:18:32,831 --> 00:18:34,920
She'd been in the cabinet
the whole time.

361
00:18:34,922 --> 00:18:36,346
We were so relieved.

362
00:18:36,514 --> 00:18:39,662
Then we realized how
high up she was, and then...

363
00:18:39,664 --> 00:18:41,903
But Homer made an awesome catch.

364
00:18:41,905 --> 00:18:43,070
And Maggie barfed on him.

365
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,512
Classic.

366
00:18:45,756 --> 00:18:49,012
After that,
something strange happened.

367
00:18:49,014 --> 00:18:51,587
We started talking to each other.

368
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,346
Like texting with our mouths.

369
00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:55,920
I'd almost forgotten

370
00:18:55,922 --> 00:18:58,587
I could L-O-L I-R-L.

371
00:18:58,589 --> 00:19:01,512
It felt like we were
coming out of a trance.

372
00:19:01,514 --> 00:19:03,994
The only subscribers we needed

373
00:19:03,996 --> 00:19:06,179
were in that room.

374
00:19:06,181 --> 00:19:08,642
Wow. Just, wow.

375
00:19:08,677 --> 00:19:11,587
We're shutting down the YouTube channel

376
00:19:11,589 --> 00:19:14,754
because "The Simpson Family"
isn't who we are.

377
00:19:14,756 --> 00:19:17,571
We are the Simpsons.

378
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,161
We are completely offline now.

379
00:19:20,163 --> 00:19:21,920
I don't even check email anymore,

380
00:19:21,922 --> 00:19:24,679
but that's mainly 'cause we
moved back to Evergreen Terrace,

381
00:19:24,681 --> 00:19:28,679
and our neighborino changed
his Wi-Fi passwordily-durdily.

382
00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:30,179
Well, there you have it.

383
00:19:30,181 --> 00:19:32,512
A confusing, nonsense-word end

384
00:19:32,514 --> 00:19:35,161
to the meteoric rise and fall

385
00:19:35,163 --> 00:19:37,012
and disappearance and reappearance

386
00:19:37,014 --> 00:19:39,012
and return to status quo

387
00:19:39,014 --> 00:19:41,161
for the family the Internet could not

388
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:43,495
get enough of for almost half a year.

389
00:19:43,497 --> 00:19:45,253
Can we go look at your beehives?

390
00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:47,512
Nah, we're all done here.

391
00:19:47,514 --> 00:19:50,828
Well, that's four hours of
my life I'll never get back.

392
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:54,754
George R.R. Martin,
you better be working on that new book.

393
00:19:54,755 --> 00:19:56,179
I am.

394
00:19:56,181 --> 00:19:58,662
You said you would finish it years ago.

395
00:19:58,664 --> 00:19:59,679
I'm gonna.

396
00:19:59,681 --> 00:20:02,571
They already made two TV shows about it.

397
00:20:02,573 --> 00:20:05,737
I know that. I went to the parties.

398
00:20:05,739 --> 00:20:08,903
No more parties until
you finish that book.

399
00:20:08,905 --> 00:20:10,179
I'm writing it right now.

400
00:20:10,181 --> 00:20:12,587
I'm... doing research.

401
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:16,895
Oh.

402
00:20:17,996 --> 00:20:20,346
You did not just stick your
hands in the mint bowl.

403
00:20:20,348 --> 00:20:22,328
Girl, use the spoon,
or I'm gonna have to

404
00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:24,253
kick your Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Booty.

405
00:20:24,255 --> 00:20:25,994
Bitch, that is an IHOP reference.

406
00:20:25,996 --> 00:20:28,805
- This is a Waffle House, mama.
- The Waffle House.

407
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:29,695
Shh!

408
00:21:32,654 --> 00:21:35,522
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com