1
00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:10,417
"Then Papa Bear said,

2
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,086
'Someone's been sleeping
in my bed.'"

3
00:00:13,239 --> 00:00:15,255
This book is so unrealistic.

4
00:00:15,407 --> 00:00:19,243
Dads sleep on the weight bench
in the garage, right?

5
00:00:19,245 --> 00:00:21,595
Okay, Riley, ready to do this?

6
00:00:22,598 --> 00:00:25,173
Tell you what, you
just hang out in there

7
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,251
while I read, okay?

8
00:00:27,269 --> 00:00:29,511
Oh, this dumb book.

9
00:00:29,605 --> 00:00:33,607
"Every day, the milkman brings
fresh milk to your milk box."

10
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,353
But... the milkman
has to be real careful,

11
00:00:38,447 --> 00:00:41,098
because hiding inside
every milk box is...

12
00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:43,767
a fart monster!

13
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,212
Does it really say that?

14
00:00:47,364 --> 00:00:51,050
Sit back, kid, and I'll tell you
where milk really comes from.

15
00:00:52,111 --> 00:00:54,795
On the farm, cows
eat pig boogers...

16
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:56,204
Moo!

17
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,465
Which their
butts turn into milk.

18
00:00:58,617 --> 00:01:01,952
Then the cows are
loaded onto farm rockets.

19
00:01:06,792 --> 00:01:08,292
But space
goats and astro donkeys

20
00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:10,811
headbutt the beef shuttle!

21
00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:14,364
And that is where
milk comes from.

22
00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:20,654
I thought drawing in
books wasn't allowed.

23
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,414
Hey, who's the big kid here?

24
00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:24,249
You are.

25
00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,576
Thanks to your little prank,

26
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,912
25 library books were ruined.

27
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:41,007
Haven't we told you
that books are precious?

28
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,827
I'm afraid to count how
many times I've said that.

29
00:01:43,846 --> 00:01:44,937
No, you weren't even there.

30
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,164
I was just trying to
make it fun for the kid.

31
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:48,590
You never take my side.

32
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,944
Side? Get a load of
this kid with a side.

33
00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:53,946
How dare you defend yourself?

34
00:01:54,097 --> 00:01:56,006
You are the destroyer!

35
00:01:56,024 --> 00:01:57,432
Yes, that's it.

36
00:01:57,526 --> 00:01:58,692
The destroyer.

37
00:01:58,786 --> 00:01:59,860
You ruin everything,

38
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,195
even our holiday picture.

39
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,940
There's no such
thing as Christmas fangs!

40
00:02:06,034 --> 00:02:09,536
I had to wear a scarf
to midnight mass.

41
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,797
I don't have a moment
when I'm not worried

42
00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,540
about what you'll do next.

43
00:02:13,692 --> 00:02:15,375
I can't... I ju...

44
00:02:16,786 --> 00:02:17,786
I can't...

45
00:02:17,863 --> 00:02:19,363
Babe, babe, tag me in.

46
00:02:19,365 --> 00:02:21,531
I can take him. Destroyer.

47
00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:24,551
Our house is filled
with unexploded pranks.

48
00:02:24,703 --> 00:02:28,463
Any toilet seat could
be covered in superglue.

49
00:02:28,557 --> 00:02:30,131
Bart put hot dog
water in the ice maker.

50
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,984
He's the destroyer!

51
00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:33,710
I just told him that.

52
00:02:33,803 --> 00:02:35,195
Good.

53
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,065
Ten years as your
father has left me empty.

54
00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:41,476
Like an orange soda
bottle at a picnic...

55
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,646
Sticky and covered
with dying bees!

56
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,813
I'm just...

57
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,891
I c... I can't...

58
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,168
Babe, babe.

59
00:02:49,395 --> 00:02:50,395
Okay, punishments.

60
00:02:50,487 --> 00:02:52,153
What's your least
favorite vegetable?

61
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,321
Swiss chard.

62
00:02:53,415 --> 00:02:55,565
You're looking at a whole lot

63
00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:58,159
of swiss chard
sandwiches, buster.

64
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:01,388
And you're never allowed
to read a book again!

65
00:03:02,499 --> 00:03:05,091
Okay, first off,
we're on your side.

66
00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:07,911
What Bart did was inexcusable.

67
00:03:07,930 --> 00:03:09,855
He's a bad kid. Straight up.

68
00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:12,173
You're lucky you only
have him for one year.

69
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:13,675
Well, it might be two,

70
00:03:13,769 --> 00:03:15,510
but that's another meeting.

71
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,103
But don't you worry.

72
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:20,348
The unholy parade of punishments
we've cooked up for Bart

73
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,201
is both cruel and unusual.

74
00:03:22,352 --> 00:03:24,277
When he opens his
eyes every morning,

75
00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:26,096
his first thought will be,

76
00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:28,189
"Oh, no, another day."

77
00:03:28,283 --> 00:03:31,192
Before we explore
the punishment space,

78
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,212
let me show you something.

79
00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:37,090
I love books now.

80
00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:42,112
Oh, the kids haven't
been this excited to read

81
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:45,873
since we accidentally stocked
Matthew Perry's autobiography.

82
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,226
All thanks to your son.

83
00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:50,303
Bart was just trying to
help his younger peers

84
00:03:50,456 --> 00:03:52,714
engage with their
reading interactively...

85
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,291
"make it fun."

86
00:03:54,309 --> 00:03:55,976
Well, he said that to us, too,

87
00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:58,128
but we didn't believe him.

88
00:03:58,146 --> 00:04:00,072
We've sort of learned
never to believe him.

89
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:01,907
"One evening, Ralph decided

90
00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:04,559
to go for a walk
in the moonlight."

91
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:08,154
This is the first book he hasn't
tried to kiss or wear as a hat.

92
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:11,899
Oh, Bart is such a
wonderful, amazing son.

93
00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:14,068
That's always been our feeling.

94
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:17,572
May I hug the people
who created Bart?

95
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,758
Mmm, mmm, ooh.

96
00:04:19,985 --> 00:04:22,594
What just happened in there?

97
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,263
Bart? Good?

98
00:04:24,490 --> 00:04:26,581
Nothing makes sense anymore.

99
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,060
I-I don't-I don't
think this is our car.

100
00:04:31,013 --> 00:04:32,996
What color is our car, Marge?

101
00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:34,106
Black? Uh...

102
00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:36,516
No, no, no,
that's-that's not it.

103
00:04:36,668 --> 00:04:39,352
How is it everyone
else saw the best in Bart

104
00:04:39,521 --> 00:04:40,687
and we didn't?

105
00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:43,765
Are we horrible parents?

106
00:04:43,842 --> 00:04:47,027
I don't know. I-I mean,
we love Bart, don't we?

107
00:04:47,195 --> 00:04:49,437
Oh, so much.

108
00:04:49,531 --> 00:04:50,697
So much.

109
00:04:50,849 --> 00:04:54,668
But what if we don't like him?

110
00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:02,208
We don't like our own son!

111
00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:04,528
We're horrible parents.

112
00:05:04,621 --> 00:05:05,787
It's not our fault.

113
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,622
He just wears you down.

114
00:05:07,716 --> 00:05:09,049
I can't take it.

115
00:05:09,201 --> 00:05:11,568
And I'm the strongest
person I know.

116
00:05:11,628 --> 00:05:15,055
We weren't planning on starting
a family when we had him.

117
00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:16,631
What if, deep down,

118
00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:19,526
we blame Bart for throwing
our lives out of whack?

119
00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:21,878
That's the thing no
one ever tells you:

120
00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:24,881
having kids changes your life.

121
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:27,067
I just wish so much

122
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,386
that we could see him
like other people do,

123
00:05:29,404 --> 00:05:33,648
without all the emotional gunk
of ten years of parenting him.

124
00:05:33,742 --> 00:05:35,483
He deserves that much.

125
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,912
Maybe. But that's
not how life works.

126
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,134
It just doesn't.

127
00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:51,725
Mm...

128
00:05:52,911 --> 00:05:55,670
Another beautiful day.

129
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,247
Should we go wake the kids?

130
00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:58,023
Sure.

131
00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:01,026
Why don't we each take one?

132
00:06:01,177 --> 00:06:03,010
Two parents, two kids...

133
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,938
The perfect family.

134
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:12,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

135
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:04,363
So what are we looking at today?

136
00:07:04,516 --> 00:07:07,317
Well, I heard Dr. Vargas
is cheating on Dr. Chen

137
00:07:07,335 --> 00:07:09,243
with that gorgeous new resident.

138
00:07:09,337 --> 00:07:11,579
Great. Now, what
about our patients?

139
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,766
I have no idea. But I made
a chart showing who on staff

140
00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:16,009
is hooking up with who.

141
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,936
What is it about
big-city hospitals

142
00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:19,846
that attracts the
most melodramatic,

143
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,499
sex-obsessed health
workers on Earth?

144
00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:34,936
Dr. Simpson. They need
you in Room 6. Code Blue!

145
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,938
- What's the crisis?
- Dr. Kern fell in love

146
00:07:37,073 --> 00:07:38,176
with his wife's sister's wife,

147
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,333
and now he's
questioning everything.

148
00:07:44,189 --> 00:07:45,189
Break's over.

149
00:07:47,359 --> 00:07:49,092
Charge!

150
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,712
I love my job.

151
00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:55,031
Okay, Homer,
bottom of the ninth.

152
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:57,884
Let's get this stadium rocking.

153
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:07,803
Fifty?

154
00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:09,321
You can do better than that.

155
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,570
We're almost at maximum noise.

156
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,055
Maybe today's the day.

157
00:08:19,074 --> 00:08:20,999
Release the rally ferret!

158
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:33,903
Maybe, in the end,

159
00:08:33,922 --> 00:08:37,224
mankind wasn't
meant to be 100 loud.

160
00:08:38,093 --> 00:08:40,018
Ah. Well, that's my daily

161
00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:41,578
eight ounces of light beer.

162
00:08:41,596 --> 00:08:44,581
Thirst quenched, I'll
head directly home.

163
00:08:44,599 --> 00:08:47,767
Just once, I'd like to see
Homer Simpson get drunk.

164
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,861
Ah, well.

165
00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:54,090
Uh-oh, better tap a new keg

166
00:08:54,109 --> 00:08:56,368
for the happiest
man in Springfield.

167
00:08:56,595 --> 00:08:58,928
Yeah, what's your
secret, Skin-man?

168
00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:00,780
Eh, a stimulating
job at a school

169
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,098
full of obedient children,

170
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:04,284
with not one
troublemaker in the bunch.

171
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,770
Not a one.

172
00:09:06,788 --> 00:09:09,789
I'm all the trouble he needs.

173
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,049
Well, I'm off.

174
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,301
See you later, wild man.

175
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,047
You guys are so sweet,

176
00:09:26,215 --> 00:09:28,808
surprising me with
ice cream after work.

177
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,627
It was Lisa's idea.

178
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,314
Well, Ice Cream Parlor
Malibu Stacy wanted some, too.

179
00:09:34,390 --> 00:09:37,450
Ice cream party!

180
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,561
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

181
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,414
Oh, no.

182
00:09:45,644 --> 00:09:47,502
Oh, no!

183
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:50,980
It's a child.

184
00:09:52,575 --> 00:09:54,092
Homer, he's alive.

185
00:09:56,988 --> 00:09:58,655
Who are you, little boy?

186
00:09:58,657 --> 00:10:01,507
Where are your parents?
What's your name?

187
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,827
I'm Bart... um, something.

188
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,186
Who the hell are you?

189
00:10:06,832 --> 00:10:08,940
Now, you can't remember anything

190
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,591
before the accident?

191
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,926
Sorry, I got nothing.

192
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:13,837
Well, have you ever
had amnesia before?

193
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,596
No way I'd forget
something like that.

194
00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:18,174
Well, until we figure
out who this kid is,

195
00:10:18,193 --> 00:10:19,987
I'm gonna have to keep
him down at the station.

196
00:10:20,011 --> 00:10:22,345
Hey, uh, are you
a true crime buff?

197
00:10:22,364 --> 00:10:25,198
Hope so, 'cause you're sleeping
one cell over from this guy

198
00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:27,942
who is gonna be
huge on Dateline.

199
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,777
No, don't take him to jail.

200
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,871
He can stay at our house.

201
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:34,782
The poor thing. He
must be so scared.

202
00:10:34,876 --> 00:10:37,636
X-ray of my butt
for you. One for you.

203
00:10:37,787 --> 00:10:39,763
Two for the lady.

204
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,216
Aw, nice pile of
bricks you got here.

205
00:10:43,368 --> 00:10:45,048
So, what's your deal?
I thought rich people

206
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:47,036
were supposed to be skinny.

207
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,388
We're not rich.

208
00:10:48,464 --> 00:10:49,814
It's just that Marge and I both

209
00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,557
have great jobs that we love.

210
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:57,213
Everything you see here is
a result of careful planning.

211
00:11:01,219 --> 00:11:04,812
Is he fake-snoring so as
to imply that we're boring?

212
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,331
I think he is.

213
00:11:06,558 --> 00:11:09,501
Well, let's see how he likes
a taste of his own medicine.

214
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:15,674
Ah, my medicine.

215
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,344
Can we both admit I won this?

216
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:22,830
I'll take you to your room.

217
00:11:22,924 --> 00:11:23,907
What are you waiting for?

218
00:11:23,925 --> 00:11:26,101
This ain't over anytime soon.

219
00:11:27,762 --> 00:11:30,930
Aw, the cheap bed in my
room broke for some reason.

220
00:11:31,082 --> 00:11:32,506
What you got going on in here?

221
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,694
Malibu Stacy is going on
a shopping trip to the mall.

222
00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:37,178
So fun.

223
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,030
Why don't you take
them out of their boxes?

224
00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:40,924
Then you can smash
them with a rock,

225
00:11:40,942 --> 00:11:42,442
light their hair on fire.

226
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:43,426
Lot of good options.

227
00:11:43,445 --> 00:11:45,094
If I take them out of the box,

228
00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:46,779
they won't be perfect anymore.

229
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,741
Uh, I might have a little OCD.

230
00:11:49,893 --> 00:11:52,293
ADHD. Nice to meet you.

231
00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:21,406
With the top down. Got
Boz Scaggs on the radio.

232
00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:23,316
Life is tight.

233
00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,580
My cool... it's gone!

234
00:12:28,807 --> 00:12:31,249
Goodbye, Seymour.

235
00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:40,675
No, Maggie. Bubble boy bad.

236
00:12:42,003 --> 00:12:44,262
Where's Mom? I have to
make my own sandwich

237
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,598
and write my own
sweet note to myself

238
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:48,749
on my lunch bag? I mean, co...

239
00:12:48,843 --> 00:12:50,343
Ugh. All right, um...

240
00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:54,180
"The world will be great
today because you are."

241
00:12:54,332 --> 00:12:56,090
Aw, that's sweet.

242
00:12:56,184 --> 00:12:59,444
And here's an inspirational
quote from Uncle Bart.

243
00:13:01,597 --> 00:13:03,006
"Eat my shorts."

244
00:13:03,099 --> 00:13:04,507
Oh, very clever.

245
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,526
If someone actually
ate your shorts,

246
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,860
what would it mean?

247
00:13:08,013 --> 00:13:09,813
I don't know, just
something you say so people

248
00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:11,438
don't mess with you,
because you're the boss

249
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,441
and if they don't like it,
they can eat your shorts.

250
00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:17,537
So, did you remember
where home is yet,

251
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,872
low-maintenance guest?

252
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,782
Sorry, guys, I know
as much about me

253
00:13:21,876 --> 00:13:23,209
as you know about me,

254
00:13:23,378 --> 00:13:24,385
which is...

255
00:13:25,288 --> 00:13:27,955
I rule.

256
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,808
Aw, we're all breathing that.

257
00:13:33,204 --> 00:13:35,146
I know he's just a
stray kid in need,

258
00:13:35,298 --> 00:13:37,223
but I don't like him.

259
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,609
I'm gonna play
a little pickleball.

260
00:13:41,804 --> 00:13:44,805
I bet his
parents don't even like him.

261
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,741
I mean, who could?

262
00:13:56,244 --> 00:13:57,836
For a guy who
sweats when he thinks,

263
00:13:57,987 --> 00:13:59,320
you've got a pretty sweet gig.

264
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,506
Listen up, Memento Junior,

265
00:14:01,657 --> 00:14:03,675
just because I don't want
you alone in my home

266
00:14:03,826 --> 00:14:05,176
doesn't mean I want you here.

267
00:14:05,369 --> 00:14:08,680
Wow, thousands of drunk
dads and their bored kids

268
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:10,073
under your total control.

269
00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:11,761
You can make them
do anything you want.

270
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,167
Well, not anything.

271
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,595
Actually, there are
pretty strict rules about...

272
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,063
Hey, stop that!

273
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,768
What have you done?

274
00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:31,944
95? What have you done?

275
00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:33,997
And by all means, do more.

276
00:14:50,115 --> 00:14:51,948
Oh, my God.

277
00:14:52,117 --> 00:14:53,641
Can this be happening?

278
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,881
A hundred! I finally got 100!

279
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:03,401
It's the most noise
there can ever be.

280
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:08,222
Kid, I don't know who you
are or where you came from,

281
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,074
but you made magic today.

282
00:15:10,226 --> 00:15:11,910
You showed this set-in-his-ways

283
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:13,970
old Jumbotron operator

284
00:15:14,063 --> 00:15:16,139
that there's a beautiful
chaos in this job

285
00:15:16,157 --> 00:15:18,399
I never dreamed existed.

286
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:20,251
You're all right.

287
00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:22,420
And you're easily won over.

288
00:15:27,284 --> 00:15:30,336
Kid turns our house
upside down in one night.

289
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,654
Who the hell am I?

290
00:15:31,673 --> 00:15:33,005
Who the hell are you?

291
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,179
Oh, my God, have you heard?

292
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,916
The man we thought
was Dr. Taylor

293
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:38,344
was actually his murderous twin.

294
00:15:38,496 --> 00:15:40,680
And last night, he proposed!

295
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,665
Not today, Tracey.

296
00:15:45,428 --> 00:15:47,428
Why are we not
treating any patients?

297
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,929
Where's my staff?

298
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,114
Who's ready to find out

299
00:15:50,341 --> 00:15:52,266
which of my three
co-worker lovers

300
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,343
is the father of my child?

301
00:15:56,605 --> 00:15:58,439
Enough!

302
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,275
No more romance.
No more intrigue.

303
00:16:01,369 --> 00:16:03,409
The next person who does
anything dramatic is fired.

304
00:16:03,521 --> 00:16:05,463
And if you don't
like it, you can

305
00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,614
eat my shorts!

306
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,635
We'll be much more
professional, ma'am.

307
00:16:10,786 --> 00:16:12,862
Maybe the sex closet

308
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,380
could be a supply closet?

309
00:16:14,532 --> 00:16:17,033
And the sex-mobile
could be an ambulance.

310
00:16:17,051 --> 00:16:18,701
"Eat my shorts."

311
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,563
Still don't know what it
means, but it really works.

312
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:25,966
Hey, Jitters. What
you working on?

313
00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,376
I'm doing a diorama

314
00:16:27,395 --> 00:16:29,562
on the history of homework.

315
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,215
Did you know that
in ancient Assyria,

316
00:16:32,308 --> 00:16:34,141
novice scribes had to get...

317
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,402
Oh, it's Friday, nerd.

318
00:16:36,554 --> 00:16:38,571
Put down the
tweezers and live a little.

319
00:16:38,647 --> 00:16:40,314
W-wait, let me just
finish the detailing

320
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,391
on this Trapper
Keeper because then I...

321
00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:44,168
When I need to
relax, I like to watch

322
00:16:44,395 --> 00:16:45,745
a little Itchy and Scratchy.

323
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,413
Yeah, I've seen the lunch boxes.

324
00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:48,414
It's not for me.

325
00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:49,674
You'll love it.

326
00:16:49,751 --> 00:16:50,733
It's about a cat and a mouse

327
00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:51,901
trying to kill each other.

328
00:16:51,994 --> 00:16:54,328
You know... the human experience.

329
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,734
Have you ever heard
Lisa make that sound?

330
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:51,402
I've heard her laugh before,

331
00:17:51,629 --> 00:17:53,796
but it's always been
ironic. Or sarcastic.

332
00:17:53,815 --> 00:17:57,108
Or dubiously polite and
just a little bit put-upon.

333
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,728
But never that.

334
00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:02,938
- Aw. -Aw.

335
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:06,325
Once again, cartoon
violence and mental health

336
00:18:06,477 --> 00:18:08,377
go hand in hand.

337
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,814
So, how late did
you two crazy kids

338
00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:13,407
stay up watching cartoons?

339
00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:15,985
I don't know, but
all the ads on TV

340
00:18:16,078 --> 00:18:17,320
were about calling women

341
00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:20,581
who couldn't wait to
talk to us right now.

342
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,433
I'm glad you had fun.

343
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,827
Well, that's odd.

344
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,829
Maggie never liked
that book before.

345
00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:28,314
I zazzed it up for her.

346
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,504
Oh, you wrote
Maggie into the story.

347
00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:38,357
What a special
little guy you are.

348
00:18:38,509 --> 00:18:41,410
Eh, no way. I just
wanted to deface a book.

349
00:18:42,697 --> 00:18:44,330
Sure you did.

350
00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:47,625
Morning, folks.

351
00:18:47,776 --> 00:18:49,610
Why'd you break down our door?

352
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,537
Oh, we do that for everyone now.

353
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,779
So, good news.

354
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,541
I'm taking Bart away forever.

355
00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:58,377
Oh. So you figured
out where he's from?

356
00:18:58,529 --> 00:19:00,696
No, but I went to
the courthouse,

357
00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:02,198
and one of those, uh, uh,

358
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,566
robe-and-gavel guys
said to dump him

359
00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:07,311
at the Springfield Maximum
Security Orphanage.

360
00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:09,872
Uh, it used to be a
prison, but don't worry.

361
00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:12,541
None of the old
guards lost their jobs.

362
00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:15,544
You know, we could hang
on to Bart for a little while,

363
00:19:15,563 --> 00:19:17,804
if you want to keep
working on his case.

364
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,031
No, thank you.

365
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,827
Oh, hey, don't worry about it.

366
00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:24,645
I knew this was
a short-term gig,

367
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,498
and I'll always have
something to remember you by.

368
00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:30,585
Why you little...

369
00:19:31,654 --> 00:19:34,321
Adios, losers.

370
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,081
Next time you see
a mouse kill a cat

371
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:38,509
in a way you never thought
possible, think of me.

372
00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:40,219
I will.

373
00:19:46,594 --> 00:19:49,220
Bart! Come back!

374
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:52,172
We like you. God
help us, we like you.

375
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:54,692
We like you so much.

376
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,102
Stop!

377
00:19:57,255 --> 00:19:58,696
Don't take him!

378
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:12,936
You're still here.

379
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,770
My beautiful, wonderful boy

380
00:20:14,789 --> 00:20:16,714
is still here.

381
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,199
Ow.

382
00:20:19,277 --> 00:20:20,793
What the hell? Get off.

383
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,278
I'm sorry, son.

384
00:20:22,296 --> 00:20:25,556
We just couldn't wait
to tell you something.

385
00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:27,541
We like you.

386
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,785
We like our son so much.

387
00:20:29,804 --> 00:20:31,712
We just realized.

388
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,064
Mm, I like you guys, too.

389
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:37,384
Wait. What do you
mean, you just realized?

390
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,364
Captioning sponsored by 20th

391
00:20:39,388 --> 00:20:41,130
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

392
00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:42,798
and TOYOTA.

393
00:20:42,817 --> 00:20:45,017
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

394
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:51,118
Come back down the
staircase, Ralphie, school's over.

395
00:20:51,142 --> 00:20:52,308
It's time to go home.

396
00:20:52,326 --> 00:20:54,810
Willie's locking up
in five, you know.

397
00:20:54,979 --> 00:20:56,662
Yeah, I heard you
the first ten times.

398
00:20:56,814 --> 00:20:58,739
Just put down the purple crayon.

399
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:00,574
No... Ah-ah, don't draw a boat.

400
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,001
Ra... No boat, Ralph...

401
00:21:02,153 --> 00:21:04,095
Don't... Don... Well,
don't get in the boat.

402
00:21:04,246 --> 00:21:05,746
You don't know
where the river goes to.

403
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,932
- Ralphie. Ralphie!
- Whee!

404
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,704
>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org

405
00:21:30,305 --> 00:21:40,305
Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/c2ram
Help other users to choose the best subtitles