1
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:15,347
What the helen mirren?

2
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,017
Stimulus checks?

3
00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:21,311
We were supposed to cash
these during the pandemic.

4
00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:24,106
Should we spend the money
now or wait for the next one?

5
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,775
So what are we gonna blow
it on, jet ski or motorbike?

6
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,318
Vroom, vroom, vroom!

7
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,156
Mom, there is something I've
always wanted for this family,

8
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,116
But it's not a thing, exactly...

9
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,868
Vroom?
- But rather,

10
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,536
It's an experience.

11
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:38,751
Something we can all treasure

12
00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:40,664
And talk about
for years to come.

13
00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,166
Wow.

14
00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:44,126
Well, then maybe
we should do it.

15
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,794
Wait, that's the move?

16
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,172
Go all sincere and emo? Gross.

17
00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:50,054
Vroom, vroom, vroom,
vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.

18
00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:52,134
There is one small issue.

19
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:55,721
My idea will take
some finessing with dad.

20
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,183
Boy, boy, boy!

21
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,894
Surprise money,
then a surprise cruise?

22
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,855
Two is the perfect
number of surprises.

23
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,983
It sure is, dad. We're
going on a regular cruise

24
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,986
With absolutely nothing
about it you'd hate.

25
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:14,073
What the hell is
wrong with this boat?

26
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:19,119
"the pacific princess
leia is a cruise by and for

27
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,163
"fans of sci-fi, fantasy,

28
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,208
Comic books, anime
and video games."

29
00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:28,003
But-but those are all
just different names for...

30
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,285
Stop this loving homage!

31
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,786
I see what you're doing...

32
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:46,039
Celebrating outcast culture
that used to be on the fringes...

33
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,666
And I don't like it!

34
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,293
You nerds stop playing dress-up

35
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:52,078
Or else I'm gonna
wedgie you, and swirly you,

36
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,755
And purple your
nurples until they...

37
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:59,595
Hey, check out that avatar
volleyball tournament.

38
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,097
It's na'vi vs. Last airbenders.

39
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,476
And I'll be on
the "harvey" deck.

40
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:10,397
Look at all those cadburys.

41
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,610
My god, is that taika waititi?

42
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,863
I love everything you do.

43
00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:20,365
Your thor movies, what
we do in the shadows.

44
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:24,995
And you're by
far my favorite on-screen hitler.

45
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,538
Take that, the late bruno ganz.

46
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,458
Well, if you loved that,
you'll certainly be in a "führer"

47
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,502
Over my newest acting
role as daerius d'avignon,

48
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:37,007
Medieval d'tective, in the new
$300 million streaming show

49
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,218
Murder, he swords.

50
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:42,638
The murderer is...
The black plague.

51
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:44,097
Again.

52
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:48,977
You know it's good because
it's based on existing I.P.

53
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,979
I.P., I.P.

54
00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:55,817
please welcome the
king and queen of this nerd prom:

55
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,445
Comic and kumiko book guy.

56
00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:02,241
Out of my way,
league of non-legends.

57
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,534
Gaze upon your betters and weep.

58
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,495
Behold,

59
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,081
I have brought the jewel
of my collectible collection.

60
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,959
The rarest treasure
in all of geekdom:

61
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,294
A radioactive man action figure

62
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,756
Accidentally manufactured
with wolverine claws.

63
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:21,009
Gaze upon it and lose your mind.

64
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,013
Only two of those defective toys

65
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,974
Were made before
they caught the mistake.

66
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,267
This you remember,

67
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:31,436
But every year, our
anniversary evades you.

68
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,480
Don't embarrass me in
front of the other blades.

69
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,484
Vomit book guy is on the boat?

70
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,569
Cruise ruined.

71
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,989
What do you have against
the comic book guy?

72
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:45,242
I walked into his
store two weeks ago...

73
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,619
I know this is weird,
but I actually drew

74
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,663
A comic book of my own.

75
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,417
Check it out. He's
half-croc, half-gator,

76
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,835
And full prankster.

77
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:58,213
Wow. You know
what? I'm really impressed.

78
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,132
I'm going to fax this right away

79
00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:03,593
To my friends at "man,
you suck publishing."

80
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,849
you suck!

81
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,352
I swear to god,
one day I'm going to

82
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:15,063
Get my revenge
on comic book guy.

83
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,696
I hate this stupid
baby dress-up cruise.

84
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,698
And why can't I be uncle fester?

85
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:28,035
I'm bald, and I already
own several black muumuus.

86
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:32,080
Ooh. Wait, this stuff doesn't
have punny names, does it?

87
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,041
No, it's just like
any other cruise,

88
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,960
Infinite food for
gluttonous slobs.

89
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,964
Taika, why are you
eating all by yourself?

90
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,716
To maintain energy
for all my writing,

91
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,677
Directing, acting,
and rakish smirking.

92
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,346
Plus, it's in my cruise rider.

93
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:50,307
I also get a cabin facing
the sunrise and the sunset,

94
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,434
Unlimited vegemite,

95
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,561
And the top tier of
any seafood tower.

96
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,277
Now on display,

97
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:06,156
The exquisitely flawed
radioactive x-gentleman,

98
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:10,660
Aka wolveractive
man, aka radio-verine.

99
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,832
Look out.

100
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,417
Don't give that guy money.

101
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,086
He's a dream-crushing jackass

102
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,754
And he doesn't
deserve dollar one.

103
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:25,050
I hope one day someone
destroys the thing you love most.

104
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,179
Somebody turned off the lights.

105
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,393
The doll's
head. It's gone.

106
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,396
Speak to me, headless
radioactive collectible.

107
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:42,442
Sweet suffering mate.
Let me share in your distress.

108
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,073
Who could have
done such a thing?

109
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,409
Who c...

110
00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,661
The agony!

111
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,871
I wager bart simpson did this.

112
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,581
He had the motive, means

113
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,542
And he's a notorious stinker.

114
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:02,170
That is a recipe for murder.

115
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:06,007
And look at the three tiny
scratch marks on bart's cheek.

116
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:10,762
No one murders a doll
on my ship. To the brig.

117
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,813
I swear, I didn't
kill that doll.

118
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,189
Stop lying, boy.

119
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,025
I can't believe you
ruined my dream cruise.

120
00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,569
You hate this cruise.

121
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,613
No, I hate the theme and
the people and the boat.

122
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,532
But I love the food.

123
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:35,078
Mr. And mrs. Simpson,
I know it's hard for you

124
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,747
To see your son in
this tiny cruise ship jail.

125
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,416
It is.

126
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,917
Well, don't you worry.

127
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,294
Tomorrow he'll be taken ashore

128
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,921
And locked in a
full adult prison.

129
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,133
- No!
— but with all the amenities...

130
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,260
Okay.

131
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,678
The amenities are a
notorious prison gang.

132
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,597
They really hate children.

133
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,223
- No!
- No!

134
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:01,188
Lis, I know it looks bad,
but I'm really scared.

135
00:08:01,223 --> 00:08:02,814
I swear I didn't do it.

136
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,274
I don't know.

137
00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,193
You've beheaded
many of my dolls,

138
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,237
From malibu stacy
to fire island frank.

139
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,656
Those aren't
valuable. They're yours.

140
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,534
Bart, you've lied to me
so many times before,

141
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,119
How could I ever believe you?

142
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:18,580
Okay, but this time
I'm telling the truth,

143
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:22,167
And to prove it, I'm gonna
own up to all my past lies.

144
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,253
That time when the dog
buried your saxophone

145
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,005
In the garden, he had some help.

146
00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,303
When malala called
you on your birthday

147
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,550
To tell you to suck
lemons, that was me.

148
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,808
That time you woke up in a
bathtub full of garlic knots...

149
00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,721
I get it, I get it.
You're terrible.

150
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,390
Okay, I figure I only
get one time to say,

151
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,268
"lis, you gotta believe
me no matter what."

152
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,812
Right now, I am
playing that card.

153
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,857
I did not destroy that doll.

154
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,610
My god. I believe you.

155
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,242
The only way to
clear bart's name

156
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:57,035
Is to figure out
who really did it.

157
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,538
But I can't do it all
by myself. I need help.

158
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,706
I'll help you.

159
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,415
No, hang on, let
me try that again.

160
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,876
I'll help you! Nailed it.

161
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,837
Taika waititi? Seriously?

162
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,881
You'll help me
exonerate my brother?

163
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:11,716
Of course. Why? I'll tell you.

164
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,218
Because I have a
medical condition

165
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,554
Where I have to be
multitasking at all times.

166
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,598
Well, my brother can't be
the only person on this ship

167
00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:20,141
Who hated comic book guy.

168
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,705
So, I guess we'll
just have to question

169
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,187
Every passenger on the manifest.

170
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,273
Why don't we start with
fans of the taika-verse?

171
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:30,068
Whoops, that's everyone.

172
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,319
Let's go.

173
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,114
I hate comic book guy
and I hated that doll

174
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,741
Because it originally
belonged to me.

175
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,417
Ooh.

176
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:48,128
Ooh! Ooh.

177
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:51,089
Hi. Excuse me, but
I will take this,

178
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:54,134
Non-priceless, completely
valueless garbage

179
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:58,305
Off of your hands for, $11.

180
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:01,808
But, dad, I think it might
be worth a lot more.

181
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,893
Who cares, milhouse?

182
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:07,022
This is two $5 footlongs
and a weird cookie.

183
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:11,359
Hey, luann, anniversary
dinner is back on, baby.

184
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,863
I didn't destroy
that action figure,

185
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,823
But I sure had a motive.

186
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,867
A clear motive.

187
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,078
I don't know why
you're interrogating me.

188
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,290
I have no bone to grind
with that comic book chap.

189
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,877
Really? Even after
comic book guy

190
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,420
Led an online troll army

191
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:34,007
To demand you be
fired and replaced in this?

192
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:37,177
From the producers
of mad max comes a vision

193
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,304
So dark, so violent

194
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,514
And so wacky.

195
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,433
Sideshow mel.

196
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:48,104
We'll kill them all, or my
name isn't dick dastardly.

197
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:51,566
And timothée
chalamet as muttley.

198
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,572
Curse that funny-book fiend.

199
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,741
He mobilized both
the hanna-barbarians

200
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,660
And the wack-olytes against me

201
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:04,287
In a devastating
online petition.

202
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,281
First of all, that
looks so good,

203
00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,461
I'm surprised I
didn't direct it.

204
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,380
Did I? October was crazy.

205
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:16,424
But mel, would your
bone-trembling anger

206
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:17,510
Lead you to destroy

207
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,470
Comic book guy's
most prized possession?

208
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,722
It would! But it didn't.

209
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,974
But it could! And if I did,

210
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,602
I would lie about it to you now!

211
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,522
But I'm not. But I would!

212
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,110
Why are you wasting
your time with me?

213
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,529
I love my greasy snowman husband

214
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,407
And his tragic blooper
of an action figure.

215
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,660
We have security footage
that says differently.

216
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:52,961
It's true, I hated that
injection-molded monstrosity.

217
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,255
When I first met comic book guy,

218
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,590
I was his priceless collectible.

219
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,134
But now, when we make love,

220
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:01,970
My husband calls out
the doll's serial number.

221
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:06,182
I just want back my
sweet comic book gaijin.

222
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,482
So many passengers could
have committed doll-icide.

223
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,360
Poor bart. But geez,

224
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:20,989
Look at the mess
he left in our cabin.

225
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:26,745
Dear god.

226
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,288
I didn't think bart did it

227
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,373
But then I found
this radioactive head

228
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,126
From the decapitated
doll in bart's stuff.

229
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,587
He looked me right in the eyes

230
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,547
And said he didn't do it.

231
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,591
I can never trust him again.

232
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:41,134
Sweetie,

233
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:44,554
You've just learned one
of life's hardest lessons.

234
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,015
Sometimes, no matter how
much you love someone,

235
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,642
They're just going
to let you down.

236
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,269
For your mother, it's me.

237
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,521
Just try to get
some sleep, honey.

238
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:57,734
Bart will still be horribly
guilty in the morning.

239
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:07,076
Rainer wolfcastle?

240
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,661
There is something
I must tell you

241
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:12,490
About the night of the fanquet
and subsequent toy murder.

242
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,958
When everything went dark,

243
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,252
I was wearing my
night-vision goggles,

244
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,963
From my upcoming film
the night-vision goggler.

245
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,673
Did you see who did it?

246
00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:23,843
Patience, fräulein.
I did see the culprit,

247
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:27,722
And I am about to tell
you who he or she is.

248
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:30,725
Watch as the words
emerge from my mouth.

249
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:34,312
The doll murderer
is nein other than...

250
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:35,688
Ouch.

251
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:39,526
I will be passing out now
and all of these things.

252
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,705
Damn it.

253
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,174
Lisa. Are you also
up dusting for prints?

254
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:04,968
That's what I call
eating leftover food

255
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,053
Off people's room-service trays.

256
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,431
I don't care!

257
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:14,060
If one more horrible
thing happens,

258
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,895
I'm going to lose it.

259
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:21,734
My sweet comic book guy is gone.

260
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,445
Of course he is.

261
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,613
I mean...

262
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,580
Bart's in jail, our
one credible witness

263
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:34,664
Just got sucker-shielded,

264
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,040
Comic book guy is missing,

265
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,126
And we're still no closer
to solving the case.

266
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,961
So many twists and turns.

267
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,754
What kind of murder
mystery is this?

268
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,340
Stop talking, taika waititi.

269
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,550
That's it.

270
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,176
I know who murdered the toy.

271
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,887
But I just need one thing:

272
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:52,515
An audience to watch
me milk the big reveal.

273
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,351
The murder of comic
book guy's action figure

274
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,938
Was committed by
comic book guy himself.

275
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,274
Based on a hunch, I
wrote to lloyd's of london,

276
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,527
And I got this response
from lloyd himself. Good guy.

277
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,614
Comic book guy had the
doll appraised and insured

278
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,617
For 935,000 british pounds.

279
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,411
So, he turned off the lights

280
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,955
And murdered the
plastic action man himself

281
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:17,415
For the insurance money.

282
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,459
But then he knew
that we were onto him,

283
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,544
Or, let's face it,
I was onto him.

284
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:23,421
So, he took flight
in the dead of night,

285
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,965
But not before planting the
doll's head in bart's cabin,

286
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,851
And knocking out the
one witness to the crime,

287
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,762
Washed-up action
star rainier wolfcastle.

288
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,305
That's fair.

289
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,600
Now comic book guy's probably

290
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:37,852
On a tropical beach
somewhere sipping mai tais.

291
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,396
Little does he know
that his heinous crime

292
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:43,691
Has been exposed
by me, master sleuth

293
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,027
And star of the upcoming reboot

294
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,363
Kiwi's big adventure,

295
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:49,948
Taika waititi.

296
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,494
Wow, he really did it.

297
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,665
My god.

298
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,833
How could I have been so stupid?

299
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,337
Amazing work, taika waititi.

300
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,381
I know you just
cracked the case,

301
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,675
But I have a little
theory of my own.

302
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,468
Does anyone want to hear it?

303
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,761
No!

304
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:14,389
Come on, people.
What's the harm?

305
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,723
Thank you, taika.

306
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,308
Now, as you recall,

307
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,728
There were only two of these
irregular radioactive man dolls

308
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,981
Made in the whole world.

309
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,024
I remember.

310
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,485
What if the owner
of the other doll

311
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,112
Received some bad news

312
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,406
And broke their action
figure in a fit of rage?

313
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:35,076
And then what if that owner
came on this cruise specifically

314
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,830
To swap out their broken figure
for comic book guy's intact one

315
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,541
So that they could secretly
possess the only radioactive man

316
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,210
With wolverine claws
left in existence?

317
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,755
And I just discovered
something quite interesting,

318
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,882
Thanks to the
ship's on board wi-fi,

319
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,635
Which is spotty at best.

320
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,722
According to this website,

321
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,640
That second doll was sold

322
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,350
In wellington, new zealand,

323
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,645
Where they spell
"colour" with a "u."

324
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:06,941
Now, who on this boat do we
know comes from new zealand?

325
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,360
Well, that's a
very clever theory.

326
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:10,951
But if it's a crime to
be from new zealand,

327
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:14,282
You'd have to arrest both
guys from flight of the conchords.

328
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:17,076
What are their names
again? Fred and jimothy?

329
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,162
You might be right,

330
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,873
But consider that the
shield that incapacitated

331
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,833
The only witness to the crime

332
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:26,502
Seems to be covered with goo.

333
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:29,714
What manner of goo?

334
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,175
Dad, I know this is a weird ask,

335
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,552
But would you mind
licking this...

336
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:35,887
Ew.

337
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,473
Salty. Yeasty.

338
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,476
With hints of malty grossness.

339
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,271
Vegemite,

340
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,148
The favorite food
of taika waititi.

341
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:51,611
Or should I say fave-o-u-rite.

342
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,823
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What
about the scratch marks

343
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,159
On bart simpson's face?
Those had to come from

344
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,619
The tiny claws on
the doll he broke.

345
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,998
Did they? Or maybe they
came from this seafood fork.

346
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,541
My dad was selfishly shoveling

347
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,960
Pre-shucked shellfish
down his shrimp-shaft...

348
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,213
One take...
And he accidentally

349
00:18:10,373 --> 00:18:12,715
Scratched bart on his cheek.

350
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,884
That silver-haired
multi-hyphenate

351
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,719
Is guilty as sin.

352
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,429
Not without

353
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:21,015
One more piece of
damning evidence, I'm not.

354
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,476
You can't just tear
my cabin apart!

355
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,894
You need a warrant!

356
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:28,272
No, we don't. We're
in international waters.

357
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,149
We're in the middle
of lake springfield.

358
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,568
I can see the lard
lad statue from here.

359
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:36,781
Here it is, comic book
guy's original doll unbroken.

360
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:40,201
Damn it. Yes, it's
true, lenny. I did it.

361
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,870
I threw my new zealand
radioactive man across the room

362
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,872
When I found out the
streamer was shelving

363
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,708
The second season of
my series without airing it.

364
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,585
For tax purposes?

365
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,087
Yes, for tax purposes.

366
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,506
So I hatched this plan
because I needed the money

367
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:57,385
To throw into my already
enormous pile of money.

368
00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,429
You haven't seen the last of me.

369
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,974
I've got powerful
friends in new zealand.

370
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:07,687
Hobbits, orcs, lorde,
ents, melanie lynskey,

371
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,272
The "how bizarre" guy.

372
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,023
We are a powerful nation.

373
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:15,653
There is one thing
I can't figure out.

374
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,613
What happened to comic book guy?

375
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,615
I mean, we looked everywhere.

376
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:23,369
Except the one
place he would never go.

377
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,708
My sarcastic darling.

378
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,418
What happened to you?

379
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,044
Permit me to explain.

380
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,088
More explaining?

381
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:38,676
When lisa and
taika waititi began questioning suspects,

382
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,511
I set up a surveillance device

383
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:44,515
Because I wanted to mock their
inept methods of interrogation.

384
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,767
I hate comic book guy,

385
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,853
But then again,
so does everyone.

386
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,438
He smells like baked beans

387
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,106
That have been
left out in the sun.

388
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,150
I loathe his voice.

389
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:57,570
Who speaks with such
exaggerated affectation?

390
00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:58,910
No one should ever have to hear

391
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,489
What people
actually think of them.

392
00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:04,452
Apparently, I am not a beloved
quirky character, like kramer.

393
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:08,122
Instead, I am widely reviled,
like the guy who played kramer.

394
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,125
So, I hid here,
surrounded only by shame

395
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,212
And whatever these
metal things are.

396
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,633
I don't want to get
all sincere and emo,

397
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,009
But thanks, lisa.

398
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:21,418
You never lost faith in me.

399
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:24,972
Well, if I'm being
totally honest...

400
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,516
I never did.

401
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,617
I just want back

402
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,827
My sweet comic book gaijin.

403
00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:52,500
Once again, a critical lesson
is learned via hologram.

404
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:55,253
I have been a fool.

405
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,735
Best husband ever.

406
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,207
Shh!

407
00:21:33,287 --> 00:21:35,287
>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org