1
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:14,013
Ugh. Can you just... Never mind.

2
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,519
What's up with Blue Tip and Starfish?

3
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,355
Oh, those two have been fighting
like Don Draper and Pete Campbell

4
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,525
after they lost the Lucky Strike account.

5
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,610
What? Krusty's in reruns.

6
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,654
Lisa and I weren't fighting.

7
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:34,616
It was just a series of calm,
constructive conversations.

8
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,618
What? That's not how I remember it.

9
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:40,247
Lisa was like...
"I hate this town. Everyone's stupid!"

10
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:43,500
And you were like...
"Lisa is driving me crazy.

11
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:48,256
We should send her to Capital City
with my sisters for the weekend."

12
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,926
That may not be word for word.

13
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:56,096
Train for Capital City leaving
in five minutes.

14
00:00:56,097 --> 00:01:00,267
Please wrap up all family arguments
and bid a quiet poignant goodbye.

15
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:01,352
All aboard!

16
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:06,982
Bye, Lisa, and have a great time
in the city with your aunties.

17
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,694
I got you a little snack for the train.

18
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:13,906
Mom! You know
Apple Zoom is full of chemicals!

19
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,492
And it's owned by...

20
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,495
Thanks, Mom.

21
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,626
I'm glad I don't have a daughter.

22
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,180
Wow.

23
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,682
Capital City!

24
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,271
God, there's just so much
I wanna see and do here.

25
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:48,273
The Museum of Modern Museums.

26
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,817
The Prussian Coffee Room.

27
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,778
The Unidentified State Building.

28
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:56,825
Oh, and tomorrow
is the Highbrow Artists Parade.

29
00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:01,411
But the thing I really wanna see
is the statue of the Fearless Girl,

30
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,955
facing down the gorilla

31
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:07,794
that symbolizes fossil fuels
and wasteful fast-food packaging.

32
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,546
Huh. What do you know?

33
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,673
You can let us out at the next block.

34
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,384
This is the touristy part
of the city.

35
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:19,471
- Where are we going?
- To the finest restaurant in town.

36
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,391
The Laramie Cigarettes Smokehouse Grill.

37
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,985
- Bring us the Tuna Tar-Tar.
- With extra tar.

38
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,445
- Cigs in a Blanket.
- Philly Wheeze Steak.

39
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:36,530
Vape Suzette.

40
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:39,784
And for dessert, the Phlegm Brûlée.

41
00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:44,830
Can we go now?
We've wasted the whole day here.

42
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:49,001
Cool your jets, toots.
Aunties need their post-meal smoke.

43
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,921
Sorry, ladies. No smoking.
Take it outside.

44
00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:54,007
Hyah!

45
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,262
- Patricia Bouvier?
- Julian.

46
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,265
Mwah. I saw on Facebook
that you were coming to town.

47
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,727
Why didn't you call me,
you two gorgeous minxes?

48
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,982
Lisa, this is my friend Julian.

49
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:15,485
We met last year
at the Capital City Pride Parade.

50
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:18,448
I still think
their float should've won first prize.

51
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,366
Stunning!

52
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:24,328
Oh, is that a book of poetry
by Sylvia Plath?

53
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:27,289
Yes, it is! Poor dear Sylvia.

54
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,042
The world's loss was that oven's gain.

55
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,378
I'm a poet myself.
Also a novelist, essayist, playwright,

56
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:37,132
and author
of the occasional scalding Airbnb review.

57
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:41,929
Oh, those are all things I'd like to be
when I grow up and leave Springfield.

58
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,723
Oh, my God. That's your hometown?

59
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,933
Hi. I'm Katya.

60
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,684
I actually went there to take photographs

61
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:50,437
for my prize-winning show,
Freaks of the 'Field.

62
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:52,982
Look at these and react to them.
I can't watch.

63
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:54,566
Oh.

64
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,068
Oh.

65
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:59,821
I won a lot of prizes for these.
Isn't that weird?

66
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,573
No, I think they're great.

67
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:04,868
That's what everyone says. It's so crazy.

68
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:09,665
Oh, this is my husband Lars.
He's a brilliant painter.

69
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:22,886
Oh, wow. Somehow, I sense you're craving
love and connection in an uncaring world.

70
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,930
And also an extra large cookie?

71
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,182
Mm-hmm.

72
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,810
Lisa, for a little girl
in a lampshade dress,

73
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,687
you seem very sophisticated.

74
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,480
Really? Well, I try.

75
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:37,484
I mean, I don't try.
It's effortless!

76
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,153
Oh, my God.
I just had the kind of amazing idea

77
00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:42,990
that everyone thinks is stupid,
but then I'm totally right.

78
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,950
You should come to our party tonight.

79
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,201
It's in our loft.

80
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,287
North of Hobart Street,
south of Gordon Avenue,

81
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,330
and below the Joseph Torrance Expressway.

82
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:52,541
Nohosogoblojoto?

83
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,335
That's the coolest,
most artistic neighborhood in town!

84
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:58,422
- Can we go?
- Oh, no, kid.

85
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,842
We're gonna take you
to something you're gonna love.

86
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,428
Thanks, Aunt Selma.

87
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,471
You know me so well.

88
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,850
Well, if you change your minds,
we'll be around for a little longer,

89
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,477
sneering at Midwestern tourists.

90
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,771
- Barf.

91
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:17,649
Maybe we could go to their party
after the musical.

92
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,860
Juice-ical.

93
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,194
Are you okay?

94
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:23,822
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just a little indigestion.

95
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:24,948
We'll be fine.

96
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:32,456
I knew there was something off
about that menthol swordfish!

97
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:41,590
Out of our way, kid.

98
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:45,136
We gotta either sleep or die,
and we don't care which one.

99
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,768
- Hmm?

100
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:09,868
Oh, yes, by all means, take a picture
with that off-brand Pikachu.

101
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,287
What a precious keepsake that will be.

102
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,663
Hi. Hi. Hi.

103
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:16,541
My aunts are feeling
a little under the weather.

104
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:18,919
So they said I should hang out with you.

105
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,380
They said a small child
should spend the night

106
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:25,926
exploring the bohemian demimonde
with a bunch of effete gadabouts?

107
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,012
That's what they said.

108
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,237
So, Lisa, what do you think, Lisa?

109
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,324
I think I'm home.

110
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,288
This place is a dream.

111
00:06:55,289 --> 00:07:00,836
Everyone's so cool,
and the art is all nonrepresentational.

112
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:06,550
Oh, my God, Lars. That is so brilliant.

113
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:10,345
I seriously wish I'd married someone else
so I could cheat on my husband with you.

114
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:13,182
Now, let's get everything to the gallery.

115
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,184
- What? Now?
- Yep!

116
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:17,727
Our group show opens tomorrow

117
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:20,397
at the Museum
of Loft-Based Transgressive Progressivism.

118
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,691
So we have to get
all our work there tonight.

119
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:27,363
Okay, everyone. Grab a canvas,
sculpture, or performance artist.

120
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,658
Whoa.

121
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:37,080
Hey. Can I get a little help, please,
from "The Inhuman Capotes"?

122
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:41,126
Writers are liars
who tell the truth for money.

123
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,712
But I'm asking if you're helping us move.

124
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:47,966
If you're going to stab me in my back,
do it to my face.

125
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,261
Don't mind him. He's the worst.

126
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,473
We used to be a throuple.
He was incredible!

127
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,934
I wish he was dead. You need one of these.

128
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,655
Lisa, you're a dear and a doll,

129
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,825
and you carried Kool-Aid Jesus
without spilling a drop.

130
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,660
Oh, my God, it's so late.

131
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:18,121
I really should get back
to Patty and Selma.

132
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:20,499
But, darling, the night is just beginning.

133
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,917
This is your moment.

134
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,377
And we have tickets
to see an avant-garde play

135
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:26,379
that starts at 1:00 a.m.

136
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:30,008
Well, I would hate to wake up my aunties.

137
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,600
God, I love art,
and I love this city.

138
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:42,270
Punks, poets, madmen, monologists.

139
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:45,357
Superintendent Chalmers?

140
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,443
Sweet vermouth in a snifter. Lisa Simpson!

141
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:52,197
Hey, Gary. Hurry up here
with them Reuben sammies.

142
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,367
You and me got a long night of doinking
ahead of us.

143
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,036
- We're putting on a staff excursion.
- Of course.

144
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,789
- Continuing education and...
- No need to explain.

145
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,999
- Makes perfect sense.
- Life-long learning endeavor...

146
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,085
Oh, that's interesting.

147
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,212
Lisa, we're running late.

148
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,422
Stop talking to that balding stallion.

149
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:13,386
I don't know about stallion,
but, yes.

150
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,517
This is so moving.

151
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:24,229
That poor man has been transformed
into a cockroach.

152
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:28,066
And there's his unfeeling father.

153
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,370
Leave him alone!

154
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,790
Who just interrupted my play?

155
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:48,962
How dare you desecrate the hallowed boards
of this converted rooster-fighting arena?

156
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:52,340
Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright
Tracy Letts?

157
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:53,842
You wrote this?

158
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:58,054
And I play the enormous shoe
that steps on the cockroach in act three.

159
00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:00,015
It's a loafer with a back story.

160
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,350
Not that they'll ever get to see it now.

161
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,352
- I'm sorry I—
- Interrupted?

162
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:07,230
Young lady,
this play has run for over a year.

163
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:11,693
And you're the very first person
to interfere and save the cockroach.

164
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,112
Proving you're one of the most sensitive

165
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,532
and artistically attuned people
I've ever met.

166
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,284
Give her a round of applause.

167
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,661
My two Tony awards command you!

168
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,126
This kid is incredible.

169
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:31,880
She gives me hope for the next generation
of self-important know-it-alls.

170
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,423
Oh.

171
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:38,386
Yes. She's truly a special young person.
Just brimming with precocity.

172
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:42,474
In fact, I was thinking she might be
a good fit for the Horace Frick Academy.

173
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,351
HFA?

174
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,103
That's the school I would never dream
of letting myself hope

175
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:49,481
that I could aspire
to imagine going there.

176
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,941
Well, Lisa, I'm on the board of trustees—

177
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:54,069
Go, Fighting Tote Bags—

178
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:58,156
and I think I might just be able
to guarantee you a place.

179
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,408
- When would I start?
- Next month.

180
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:03,745
- And what does it cost?
- $84,000 a year.

181
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:06,331
But how would I ever pay for that?

182
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,749
Not my problem!

183
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,710
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I just thought of an awesome play

184
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,129
and I have to go scream it into my phone.

185
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,799
Curtain rises on Dave & Buster's.

186
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,342
Everyone is dead.

187
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,303
I would love
to attend that school.

188
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:23,014
But my mom and dad
don't have that kind of money.

189
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,725
- Oh, that's so terrible.
- Wait just a moment.

190
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,812
I know a wealthy benefactress
who might be able to help you.

191
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,979
Lacey Van Aster.

192
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:33,608
She's a little eccentric,
but something tells me she'd adore you,

193
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,945
just like we adore you.

194
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,616
I misread this.

195
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:45,662
To the forbidden zone,
the Upper East Side.

196
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,292
It's really late.

197
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,752
Are you sure she's up?

198
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:57,674
Oh, yeah. She's a well-known night owl
and a bit of a speed freak. Vroom, vroom.

199
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:02,637
Teddy Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt.

200
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:06,266
Um, every one of them I seduced,

201
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,768
and destroyed.

202
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:12,313
Lacey, darling,
we always enjoy your delightful stories,

203
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,774
but we'd like to discuss
your scholarship fund

204
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:19,070
for children from, how shall we say,
tragic cultural wastelands?

205
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:22,824
Yes, my lucrative bursary.

206
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,579
But first,
there is an extensive interview process.

207
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,208
All right then.
First of all, how are you, dear?

208
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,293
I'm okay.

209
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,545
The scholarship is yours.

210
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,466
- Huzzah! Hip hip hurrah!

211
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,385
Good night, Lisa.

212
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:43,887
I've only known you for a day,

213
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,347
but I can tell
that you're an artist at heart.

214
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,515
Thank you, Katya.

215
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:50,393
I can't believe I'll be going to school
in Capital City.

216
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:53,438
And then from there,
I'll become a critically acclaimed writer,

217
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,483
an artist, and member of the cognoscenti.

218
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,151
Cognoscenti.

219
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,821
Cognoscenti.
Cognoscenti. Cognoscenti!

220
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,789
It's all in front of me.

221
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,334
Someday I'll be in that photograph.

222
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,713
Wait a second.

223
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:23,009
Why are they posing with Martin Prince?

224
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:26,262
- Therein lies a tale, Lisa.

225
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,973
Every year,
self-impressed little bookworms

226
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,767
like you and Martin Prince

227
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,936
come to the big city
where we convince them

228
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:39,192
that they could one day be one of us
just by attending Horace Frick Academy.

229
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:42,570
But there's just one problem,
my little swan-abee.

230
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:48,076
Nobody you've met tonight
has any connection to that school.

231
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,788
What? Not even Tracy Letts?

232
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,206
Especially Tracy Letts!

233
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:57,043
Behind these supporting-actor good looks,
I'm a world-class fraud.

234
00:13:57,044 --> 00:14:00,547
You were naïve enough to believe
that you could get into that school.

235
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,716
And that Roosevelt-doinking crone,
Mrs. Van Aster,

236
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,678
was naïve enough
to make out the tuition check to us.

237
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,766
And you fell for it.
Hook, Letts, and sinker.

238
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,144
You eight-year-old fool.

239
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,730
But why do you need to steal money?

240
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:20,860
I thought you all supported yourselves
by making art.

241
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,613
It is to laugh.

242
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:29,868
Oh, this is awful! I'm gonna report you
to the Capital City Police.

243
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:34,080
I'm sure they'll take the word
of an infamous art thief.

244
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,540
There you are.

245
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:39,294
But I was helping to move that art.
I wasn't stealing it.

246
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,879
Oh, I know you're innocent.

247
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,881
But this damning footage
has already gone out

248
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:46,009
to the entire artistic community
of Capital City.

249
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,927
And it's not a good look.

250
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:53,058
The only thing an artist hates more
than an art thief is themselves.

251
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,105
No!

252
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:01,483
Our ill-gotten gains!

253
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:10,034
There she is! Get her!

254
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:27,133
God. They got this show together so fast.

255
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:29,970
Hey!

256
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,907
Please answer.

257
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,909
I knew just one thing.

258
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,703
We were not going
to lose the Ringtone Wars.

259
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,164
And that's when I came up with this.

260
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,544
- Wow.
- Whoa, wow.

261
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:06,172
Check it out.
It's almost 5:00 in the morning.

262
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:09,759
We've almost watched
this entire 12-hour documentary

263
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,928
about the history of ringtones.

264
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:14,348
Best 12 hours ever.

265
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,688
Superintendent Chalmers? Now you're here?

266
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:26,275
No... Look, in the interest
of, uh, fumfering, I, um...

267
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,277
Gary, doinking.

268
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:29,612
Look, Lisa...

269
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:33,282
sometimes when grown-ups get bored,
they start playing pickleball,

270
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,326
or they learn to make sourdough bread,

271
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,704
or they book
two different romantic getaways

272
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,664
with two different women
who don't know about each other.

273
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,542
It's a very common thing.

274
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:46,587
Mr. Chalmers, would you
please, please, help me hide?

275
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:48,047
Just for a little while.

276
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,508
Oh, I'd love nothing more, but, um...

277
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,052
And I would love
not to tell the school board

278
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,763
about your extracurricular activities.

279
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:59,100
Ugh. This has been
the worst night of my life.

280
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,561
I came to Capital City
because I wanted to get away

281
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,189
from the dead-eyed ding-dongs
in Springfield.

282
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:05,773
No offense.

283
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:09,652
And then these horrible people
came in my room and told me—

284
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:12,363
Gary, you son of a bitch, I'll kill you!

285
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:23,541
Settle, settle.

286
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,626
Dora, can we just talk about this?

287
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,462
No. We can't.

288
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,839
Oh, okay then.

289
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,267
Superintendent Chalmers!

290
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,437
There's that pilfering little urchin!

291
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,612
Wait up, guys.

292
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:04,332
It's never been
more past my bedtime.

293
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,585
I'm too tired to run anymore.

294
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:14,008
Desperate times call
for high-fructose corn syrup.

295
00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:20,431
She drank the juice. A mother knows.

296
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:25,853
Hey, art jerks. Your work is derivative,
and you're all old!

297
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:39,242
It's the Fearless Girl statue.

298
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,911
Goldman Sachs? Ew.

299
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,206
I hate this city!

300
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:56,759
These are balloons
from the Highbrow Artists Parade.

301
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,012
That's today!

302
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:01,598
They are relentless.

303
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,146
Thank God for this balloon.

304
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:12,024
Ah!

305
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,985
- Joan Didion.

306
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,194
How ironic.

307
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:19,282
You're clinging to Joan Didion,
but you're clearly John Gregory "Done"!

308
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,535
I hate that I get that.

309
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,288
But you'll never get this.

310
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:27,665
She ripped up the check!

311
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:31,920
Well, then do something about it,
you second-rate Cindy Sherman!

312
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:38,177
Oh, no.

313
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,636
What the hell are you doing?

314
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:44,223
If there was a gun in the first act,
I would shoot you right now.

315
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,766
I'm setting her free.

316
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,810
Goodbye, Lisa!

317
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,396
Never forget the essence
of being an artist,

318
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:52,648
having rich parents!

319
00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:57,070
You can still resent them horribly,
just take their money!

320
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:07,288
It is easy to see the beginnings of things
and harder to see the ends.

321
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,582
I can remember now, with a clarity

322
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,543
that makes the nerves
in the back of my neck constrict

323
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,545
when the city began for me.

324
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:18,049
But I cannot lay my finger
upon the moment it ended.

325
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:23,221
Can never cut through the ambiguities,
and second starts, and broken resolves

326
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,931
to the exact place on the page

327
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:29,018
where the heroine is no longer
as optimistic as she once was.

328
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,895
How are you talking to me?

329
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,481
You haven't slept in 24 hours.

330
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,399
Hmm. Makes sense.

331
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:54,086
- Lisa.
- Superintendent.

332
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,102
Good morning.

333
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,270
Today we'll be reading

334
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:15,147
from The Firecracker
Who Didn't Want To Go, "Boom!"

335
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,693
"'I like quiet things.'
Said the firecracker.

336
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:22,738
'Why does everything in the world
have to be so loud?'"

337
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,409
"'Things like sirens, and jackhammers,

338
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:29,579
and tugboat whistles,
and big brass drums.'"