1
00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:48,789
Okay, ladies, let's all
take out this month's book,

2
00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:50,107
then open it, close it

3
00:00:50,109 --> 00:00:52,109
and break out the wine.

4
00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:56,889
You're supposed to say "Woo."

5
00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:59,950
Luann, we're not
feeling very "woo."

6
00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:02,803
What we're feeling is woo-ried.

7
00:01:02,805 --> 00:01:04,805
- Mm-hmm.
- This is an intervention.

8
00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:06,807
I don't have a problem
with drinking.

9
00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:08,125
It's not the wine.

10
00:01:08,127 --> 00:01:10,903
Luann, you have an addiction
to wine merch.

11
00:01:10,979 --> 00:01:13,847
And we say this
out of love,

12
00:01:13,849 --> 00:01:14,907
it's super annoying.

13
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,638
But it's such a fun way of
telling the world I like wine.

14
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,975
"Mom Fuel,"
that "corks are for quitters."

15
00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:26,109
"Wine is the answer,

16
00:01:26,145 --> 00:01:27,586
what was the question?"

17
00:01:27,737 --> 00:01:31,815
The question is do you want
to live your life like this?

18
00:01:31,817 --> 00:01:35,243
Oh! And I suppose all your
throw pillows just say nothing.

19
00:01:35,321 --> 00:01:38,079
Anyway, it's not like
it's hurting anyone.

20
00:01:38,157 --> 00:01:39,765
Isn't it?

21
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,749
I'm the closing manager
at Mom Goods.

22
00:01:41,827 --> 00:01:45,771
I was injured when you got into
a fight with another customer

23
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,106
over an apron that says

24
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:49,833
"This is my wine bib."

25
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,595
Luann, we're here for you.

26
00:01:53,672 --> 00:01:56,931
B-But being a funny wine mom
is my thing.

27
00:01:57,009 --> 00:02:00,844
I have absolutely nothing else
in my life.

28
00:02:02,014 --> 00:02:03,847
You like coffee, right?

29
00:02:03,849 --> 00:02:06,941
What if your new personality
was coffee?

30
00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:08,794
Coffee merch
doesn't get me there.

31
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:09,796
Chocolate?

32
00:02:09,946 --> 00:02:11,872
"It's chocolate o'clock
somewhere"?

33
00:02:11,874 --> 00:02:13,799
That makes no sense, Bernice.

34
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,801
How about "proud slut"?

35
00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:17,027
Hmm...

36
00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,044
mm...

37
00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:19,954
I love it!

38
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,975
And here is
your very first merch.

39
00:02:27,055 --> 00:02:29,130
Goodbye, Malibu Stacy.

40
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:30,965
Good luck, Malibu Stacy.

41
00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:32,876
Miss you already.

42
00:02:32,878 --> 00:02:35,562
Goodbye, all you think piece-
inspiring Malibu Stacys.

43
00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:37,898
I'm going to the real world
to find a little girl

44
00:02:37,974 --> 00:02:40,050
who loves me the most.

45
00:02:53,065 --> 00:02:54,989
I knew
this day would co...

46
00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:56,917
And you're not here for me.

47
00:02:56,993 --> 00:02:58,218
Hi, Shauna!

48
00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:01,905
Um, who are you, freak?

49
00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:03,924
Besides a freaky freak,
you freak.

50
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,834
I'm Malibu Stacy,
your Malibu Stacy.

51
00:03:06,912 --> 00:03:08,595
I came here
from Malibu Stacy Land

52
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:11,765
because a real girl who
plays with me needs my help.

53
00:03:11,841 --> 00:03:13,025
And that's you, Shauna.

54
00:03:13,176 --> 00:03:15,843
You still play with dolls?

55
00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:17,103
No.

56
00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,939
It's okay to be complicated.

57
00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:22,092
As women, we can
encompass multitudes.

58
00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:23,851
Encompass my fist!

59
00:03:24,947 --> 00:03:26,096
- Yeah, get her!

60
00:03:26,189 --> 00:03:28,615
Get out of here
and leave me alone, loser.

61
00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:30,951
I'm so sorry.
Meet me at home after school.

62
00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:33,787
We'll have a tea party.
I love you so much.

63
00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:35,881
You're not fighting me.

64
00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:39,009
You're fighting your fears
of growing up.

65
00:03:52,975 --> 00:03:54,958
All right, good night, Nelly.

66
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,793
Mama, could you tell me a story?

67
00:03:56,795 --> 00:03:59,905
How about one from the Kingdom
of the Classy Ladies?

68
00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:01,648
Another one?

69
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,577
Ah, please, I never get
tired of their adventures.

70
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:09,990
Well, once upon a time,
there was a beautiful princess

71
00:04:10,142 --> 00:04:11,583
named Muntzeena.

72
00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:15,754
Oh, and she loved to dance
with all of her friends

73
00:04:15,831 --> 00:04:18,924
atop the glittery stage of...

74
00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:20,984
Lord Tracksuit's Manor!

75
00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,669
One fine eve,

76
00:04:22,746 --> 00:04:25,597
a party of knights
of the Order of the Bachelor

77
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,825
from the Valley of Silicon
were there,

78
00:04:28,827 --> 00:04:30,918
tossing much gold.

79
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:31,995
Did they bring
a wizard with them

80
00:04:31,997 --> 00:04:33,680
who could control the weather?

81
00:04:33,832 --> 00:04:34,848
Oh, they sure did.

82
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,852
And boy, oh, boy,
did he make it rain.

83
00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:40,595
But treachery was in the air.

84
00:04:40,672 --> 00:04:44,024
As the evil Princess Rylee
with two Es

85
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:48,011
stepped onto the stage,
bidding the troubadour play

86
00:04:48,013 --> 00:04:51,105
"Poureth Some Sugar Unto Me."

87
00:04:51,183 --> 00:04:54,017
But that's Princess Muntzeena's
frolicking ditty.

88
00:04:54,019 --> 00:04:57,020
- Rylee stole it!
- Indeed.

89
00:04:57,022 --> 00:04:59,080
And filled with righteous fury,

90
00:04:59,115 --> 00:05:02,801
Muntzeena removed
her magical Lucite heel

91
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:05,862
and chucked it at Rylee's
stupid face.

92
00:05:05,864 --> 00:05:08,122
Oh, Princess Muntzeena
didn't get

93
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,050
docked two weeks' pay
again, did she?

94
00:05:10,126 --> 00:05:13,795
No. Because the keeper
of the door,

95
00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:15,814
Sir Gordo of the Latin Kings,

96
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:16,890
is fair and wise

97
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,683
and kind of into older broads.

98
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,062
So he banished Princess Rylee
to the shift of the morn,

99
00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:24,064
when all the princes
are sleeping off

100
00:05:24,216 --> 00:05:25,657
last night's potions.

101
00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:28,902
Then King Nelson came in,
stole all the ducats

102
00:05:28,978 --> 00:05:31,979
and treated Muntzeena to lunch
at Krusty Burger.

103
00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:34,816
Oh, my hero.

104
00:05:34,893 --> 00:05:36,984
No, Mom, you're mine.

105
00:05:37,062 --> 00:05:38,820
Ah, shut up.

106
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:45,660
Fun fact about Jennifer Garner,

107
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:47,587
She'll take a night at home
with the kids

108
00:05:47,664 --> 00:05:50,015
over a Hollywood premiere
any day of the week.

109
00:05:50,092 --> 00:05:52,926
I told you that!

110
00:05:52,928 --> 00:05:54,836
Oh, I forgot the tampons.

111
00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:56,021
Can you go grab a box?

112
00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:59,933
Shh, the checkout stranger
can hear.

113
00:06:00,009 --> 00:06:01,601
They don't care what you buy.

114
00:06:01,678 --> 00:06:04,154
Just get the tampons.
We're in a hurry.

115
00:06:05,924 --> 00:06:08,942
That's a happy graduation card.

116
00:06:09,018 --> 00:06:12,095
Oh, it's not those things?

117
00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:13,947
I guess I'm bad at shopping.

118
00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:16,950
So you'll have to go get
those things.

119
00:06:17,026 --> 00:06:18,860
Fine.

120
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,045
Stop right there, Marge.

121
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,880
Don't play dumb, Homer.

122
00:06:21,957 --> 00:06:24,107
Do you even realize
all the embarrassing stuff

123
00:06:24,109 --> 00:06:26,259
your wife buys for you?

124
00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:53,912
Stop shaming me
in front of Hans Moleman.

125
00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:55,822
Oh, we're just getting started.

126
00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:42,944
Okay, okay, I'll do it!
I'll buy my wife tampons!

127
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,612
Just tell me where they are.

128
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,458
Breaking news.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

129
00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:58,459
A ship carrying America's
entire supply of cigarettes

130
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,962
has become lodged
in the Panama Canal.

131
00:08:00,964 --> 00:08:03,890
R, D, R, D, R, D.

132
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:08,970
Do you think
the honking is helping?

133
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,563
'Cause I don't!

134
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,216
Experts say the cigarette
shortage could mean months

135
00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:16,903
before are restocked
and lungs re-blackened.

136
00:08:18,147 --> 00:08:22,817
Mm. I hope we have enough smokes
to last until this is over.

137
00:08:22,819 --> 00:08:23,910
I'm sure we'll be okay

138
00:08:23,912 --> 00:08:26,062
if we just pool
all our cigarettes.

139
00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:28,173
You know, share.

140
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:30,842
Yeah. Share.

141
00:08:30,919 --> 00:08:32,969
Share the cigarettes.

142
00:08:33,922 --> 00:08:36,072
Thing is, I don't have any.

143
00:08:36,074 --> 00:08:38,058
Yeah, me neither.

144
00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:55,075
Liar!

145
00:08:56,778 --> 00:08:58,078
Busted!

146
00:08:58,855 --> 00:09:00,080
Addict!

147
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,166
J'accuse!

148
00:09:04,786 --> 00:09:07,087
J'accuse you!

149
00:09:09,941 --> 00:09:10,940
- Aha!
- Aha!

150
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,883
Oh, hey there, handsome.
What's your name?

151
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,810
Dr. Julius Hibbert.

152
00:09:30,887 --> 00:09:32,219
No, it's not.

153
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:35,890
Ugh. Remember, tonight we're
roleplaying as strangers,

154
00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:37,683
meeting for
a tawdry one-night stand

155
00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:41,971
that my therapist says will
reinvigorate our marriage.

156
00:09:41,973 --> 00:09:43,990
I'm a man of science,
not improv.

157
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:45,975
Mm. Hmph.

158
00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:48,812
Okay, okay, I'll give it a try.

159
00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:52,315
Hello, stranger.

160
00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:55,910
Got any sexually-transmitted
diseases I should know about?

161
00:09:55,987 --> 00:09:59,823
Ugh. My name is Laverne McCray.

162
00:09:59,825 --> 00:10:00,990
I'm a lingerie model.

163
00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:02,767
Well, we have that in common.

164
00:10:02,919 --> 00:10:04,919
You're a lingerie model?

165
00:10:04,996 --> 00:10:08,832
No, um, my name is also
Laverne McCray.

166
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:12,001
I-I mean Maverne MacDoolittle?

167
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:14,854
- Uh, I'm a doc...

168
00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:16,840
Documentarian.

169
00:10:16,842 --> 00:10:18,933
Of motorcycles.
Which I race.

170
00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:20,677
For, uh, pleasure.

171
00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:24,105
Oh, Maverne, you're just
full of surprises.

172
00:10:24,182 --> 00:10:25,940
Help! This man is choking!

173
00:10:26,017 --> 00:10:28,852
Is anyone here a doctor?

174
00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:30,611
Me, I'm a...

175
00:10:30,613 --> 00:10:33,706
Uh, I'm a-hoping you find
a doctor before it's too late.

176
00:10:33,783 --> 00:10:36,951
You want me to let a man die
to give our marriage a boost?

177
00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:38,786
It would be a start.

178
00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:41,122
Oh, my God, he's turning blue.

179
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:43,867
I can help.
I-I'm a French neurosurgeon.

180
00:10:43,885 --> 00:10:45,718
No, he's not.
We're just roleplaying.

181
00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:48,980
You said if I stayed
in character, we could have sex.

182
00:10:49,057 --> 00:10:50,874
I took an oath, woman.

183
00:10:50,892 --> 00:10:52,800
I deserve passion!

184
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:53,893
A sad scene.

185
00:10:53,895 --> 00:10:55,987
Remember, if you're
going to role-play,

186
00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:57,563
play it safe.

187
00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:58,823
This has been a message from

188
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,660
the President's Council
on Marital Role-play,

189
00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:03,662
which does not exist
because I'm only pretending

190
00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:06,998
to be a spokesperson
to turn on the men in this bar.

191
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,817
Role-play, baby. I dig it.

192
00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:11,836
Fireman Stu is hot for you.

193
00:11:11,913 --> 00:11:14,839
I caught one.

194
00:11:14,916 --> 00:11:16,508
We caught you, Luigi.

195
00:11:16,584 --> 00:11:20,586
You've been smuggling diamonds
inside your four-cheese gnocchi.

196
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:25,058
Being caught with loaded
gnocchi is no "gn-jokey."

197
00:11:25,927 --> 00:11:27,852
I want-a my mamma!

198
00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:30,763
Eh, what you
should want is a lawyer.

199
00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:33,674
How's about-a both?

200
00:12:02,948 --> 00:12:04,797
It's-a not-a
looking a-good, Mamma.

201
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:06,119
They gonna
send-a me away forever.

202
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:11,062
Counselor Mamma,
your closing argument?

203
00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:24,801
Don't you dare
take-a my sweet, sweet, sweet

204
00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:25,969
baby boy to jail.

205
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:28,747
You want to kill an old woman?

206
00:12:28,823 --> 00:12:30,749
Uh, no?

207
00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:31,975
Aw, thank you.

208
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:34,753
You too skinny. Have some ziti.

209
00:12:34,829 --> 00:12:37,981
We find the defendant
not guilty.

210
00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:42,652
Next week,
on the Mamma-At-Law...

211
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:46,765
Civil forfeitures laws unfairly
discriminate against

212
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,825
low income communities.

213
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,827
You too skinny!

214
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:08,435
I believe every great dish
is born of dreams.

215
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,289
I'll often awaken
with a new creation

216
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,249
fully formed in my head.

217
00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:17,778
Every morning,
I go to the farmer's market

218
00:13:17,856 --> 00:13:19,297
to get inspired.

219
00:13:19,448 --> 00:13:22,467
Each ingredient
becomes a character

220
00:13:22,544 --> 00:13:24,451
in the story of lunch.

221
00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:27,788
Today's story is I have 14 bucks

222
00:13:27,866 --> 00:13:30,791
and 500 kids to feed.

223
00:13:30,869 --> 00:13:32,644
Salt.

224
00:13:32,795 --> 00:13:33,794
Fat.

225
00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:34,795
Acid.

226
00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:36,539
Heat.

227
00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:37,798
No, thanks.

228
00:13:37,876 --> 00:13:39,542
I've eaten in restaurants
all over the world,

229
00:13:39,561 --> 00:13:41,561
and Lunch Lady Dora's
doing things

230
00:13:41,563 --> 00:13:44,730
I never thought
were possible... or legal.

231
00:13:44,807 --> 00:13:46,491
Someone needs to stop her.

232
00:13:46,642 --> 00:13:47,659
Maybe the government?

233
00:13:49,478 --> 00:13:52,388
When I present my food,

234
00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:54,499
I want it to evoke an emotion.

235
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:56,751
- Panic.
- Ah!

236
00:14:11,426 --> 00:14:14,668
If I wasn't a cook,
I'd probably be a painter

237
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:15,761
or a novelist.

238
00:14:15,763 --> 00:14:17,430
Some other job where I could

239
00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:19,649
drink vodka from a mug
and knock off by 2:00.

240
00:14:32,688 --> 00:14:35,356
Narnia.

241
00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:37,600
All hail!
Our queen has returned!

242
00:14:37,602 --> 00:14:40,453
Woodland friends,
it is good to see you.

243
00:14:40,605 --> 00:14:43,623
How has the kingdom fared
in my absence?

244
00:14:43,699 --> 00:14:45,383
The realm is troubled, milady,

245
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:47,368
and your wisdom
is much required.

246
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,612
By royal decree, we command

247
00:14:49,614 --> 00:14:52,539
that the roads
of our kingdom be improved

248
00:14:52,617 --> 00:14:54,708
so that all may benefit.

249
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,544
Whoa, who's gonna pay for that?

250
00:14:57,622 --> 00:14:59,546
Oh... hmm.

251
00:14:59,624 --> 00:15:00,714
Ooh, what about this?

252
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,625
For every spell cast,

253
00:15:02,644 --> 00:15:06,553
we impose a tariff
of one gold piece.

254
00:15:07,632 --> 00:15:11,634
You're aware that that
unfairly targets witches, right?

255
00:15:11,636 --> 00:15:14,487
This is why so many of us
are moving to other kingdoms.

256
00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:17,323
Well, you want
better roads, right?

257
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:21,494
And affordable housing?
So you can live closer to work?

258
00:15:21,496 --> 00:15:22,754
Yes, give it to us now.

259
00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:26,624
So, the money for all that

260
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,668
has to come from somewhere.

261
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,486
That's the kingdom's job.

262
00:15:30,488 --> 00:15:33,765
What about
a property tax on moats?

263
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,582
Oh, yeah, soak the rich.

264
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,602
That's your answer
to everything.

265
00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:39,662
Calm down, my good people.

266
00:15:39,681 --> 00:15:41,681
You hear that?
She called us people!

267
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,590
That's racist!

268
00:15:43,668 --> 00:15:45,276
Death to the tyrant!

269
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,670
Sorry, people!
I mean subjects!

270
00:15:47,672 --> 00:15:49,522
I mean... citizens?

271
00:15:50,358 --> 00:15:52,617
Ugh. I can't even have fun

272
00:15:52,768 --> 00:15:54,702
in my dreams anymore.

273
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,687
So, hi.

274
00:16:04,689 --> 00:16:07,298
This is my first time
on one of these sites.

275
00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:09,525
I'm not really sure
how this works,

276
00:16:09,544 --> 00:16:13,362
but it's time to admit
that I'm lonely.

277
00:16:13,364 --> 00:16:15,531
Janice passed away
six months ago,

278
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:18,643
and I'm finally ready
to open my heart

279
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:20,461
to a new enemy.

280
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,723
We were at war for 50 years.

281
00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:26,467
Oh, God, what a nemesis she was.

282
00:16:26,469 --> 00:16:30,730
The most loathsome,
sorry excuse for a human being

283
00:16:30,806 --> 00:16:32,806
you ever met.

284
00:16:32,808 --> 00:16:34,475
May she burn in Hell.

285
00:16:34,477 --> 00:16:37,386
I know you're not supposed
to talk about your ex,

286
00:16:37,388 --> 00:16:40,439
but that relationship
is a part of me.

287
00:16:40,517 --> 00:16:44,651
Anyway, ever since
I spit on her ugly grave,

288
00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:46,395
I've been alone.

289
00:16:46,397 --> 00:16:48,898
I'm looking for someone
in my rage bracket.

290
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,324
I'm not young.

291
00:16:50,401 --> 00:16:51,584
I don't have time to waste

292
00:16:51,586 --> 00:16:54,420
exchanging
passive-aggressive emails,

293
00:16:54,497 --> 00:16:57,423
or shooting hostile stares
across a supermarket.

294
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,500
I'm looking for
a real commitment.

295
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,353
If you think that could be you,
reach out.

296
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,522
I just want
to make someone miserable

297
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:06,749
for the rest of
their worthless life.

298
00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:07,674
Hmph.

299
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,542
We interrupt this program
for an emergency broadcast.

300
00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:27,453
A massive tsunami
is headed for Springfield.

301
00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:29,455
- You have ten minutes
left to live...

302
00:17:29,607 --> 00:17:32,533
so if there's anything you
still need to do on this Earth,

303
00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:33,718
now is the time.

304
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:41,650
Howdy, Helen.

305
00:17:41,652 --> 00:17:44,562
- Thought you didn't see...

306
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,566
Oh, hey, there, Mrs. Lovej...

307
00:17:49,794 --> 00:17:51,644
Ooh!

308
00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:57,483
Helen, are you okay?

309
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:12,632
Did I do someth...

310
00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:16,652
I can die now.

311
00:18:18,656 --> 00:18:21,490
We have a clarification
to our previous warning.

312
00:18:21,492 --> 00:18:24,493
A tsunami of savings
is approaching Springfield

313
00:18:24,495 --> 00:18:27,496
at Costington's
Red Tag Clearance.

314
00:18:27,498 --> 00:18:29,482
All is well, and on sale.

315
00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:31,734
It's a great hobby.

316
00:18:32,837 --> 00:18:35,671
Very, uh, manly?

317
00:18:35,673 --> 00:18:36,839
I don't know...

318
00:18:36,841 --> 00:18:38,765
Thanks. Yeah.

319
00:18:38,843 --> 00:18:39,992
I enjoy it.

320
00:18:46,684 --> 00:18:49,352
Oh, Milhouse fell down.

321
00:18:49,354 --> 00:18:50,519
I think he's okay,

322
00:18:50,521 --> 00:18:52,463
but it looks like
the poor guy's about to...

323
00:18:54,692 --> 00:18:57,593
Yes, sweet music to my wallet.

324
00:19:00,698 --> 00:19:02,623
Aw, I was so sure
it was gonna be Janey.

325
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,309
She's coming off
a two-sleepover weekend.

326
00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:07,645
Doesn't betting on bad things
happening to children

327
00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:10,373
feel just a bit wrong?

328
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:12,391
I feel nothing,
and I'm fine with that.

329
00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:14,710
Someone just fell off
the monkey bars.

330
00:19:16,397 --> 00:19:17,713
Willie, we need
an ID on the faller.

331
00:19:17,732 --> 00:19:19,490
It's Sheri.

332
00:19:20,568 --> 00:19:22,385
Oh, yes! Yes!

333
00:19:22,387 --> 00:19:23,552
Correction,

334
00:19:23,554 --> 00:19:25,496
the faller is Teri.

335
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,390
Repeat, Teri.

336
00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:29,392
- Come to papa.

337
00:19:29,394 --> 00:19:31,485
I-I can't be a part of this.

338
00:19:31,562 --> 00:19:32,578
Oy,

339
00:19:32,655 --> 00:19:35,489
shut up, you debt-ridden
chalk-sniffers.

340
00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:38,401
We have a middle finger
on the playground.

341
00:19:38,419 --> 00:19:39,493
Who flipped the bird?

342
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,587
Come on, weird
foreign exchange student.

343
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,331
I cannot believe
I'm saying this.

344
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:47,760
The bird-flipper
is Lisa Simpson.

345
00:19:49,430 --> 00:19:51,580
Impossible. What were the odds?

346
00:19:51,582 --> 00:19:52,765
500 to one.

347
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:54,675
I'm so disappointed in you guys.

348
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,586
Or should I say, for you guys.

349
00:19:57,588 --> 00:19:58,738
Yoink.

350
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:01,590
Nice work.

351
00:20:01,592 --> 00:20:04,593
Pleasure doing business
with you.

352
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:42,740
Every story needs a hero.

353
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,467
Every hero has a beginning.

354
00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:46,661
Witness the rise of a legend.

355
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,656
You know, that
Jake from State Farm

356
00:20:50,808 --> 00:20:52,641
kind of does it for me.

357
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,660
You want to go upstairs?

358
00:20:54,812 --> 00:20:56,570
Yeah, all right.

359
00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:30,438
Shh!

360
00:21:30,518 --> 00:21:32,518
>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org