1
00:00:10,586 --> 00:00:14,162
Am I the only one who thinks
it's weird that a strange circus

2
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,848
just appeared out of nowhere?

3
00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:18,925
Oh, come on, Lisa.
You love circuseses.

4
00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:20,019
I hate them.

5
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:22,170
I've literally gotten
three shut down

6
00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:23,597
just in the past year.

7
00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:26,917
Yes, but this one's
only exploiting people.

8
00:00:26,919 --> 00:00:28,861
I want to see the dog-faced man.

9
00:00:28,937 --> 00:00:30,529
And the man-faced dog.

10
00:00:30,606 --> 00:00:32,865
- Who walks who?

11
00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,092
Mom, surely you're not—

12
00:00:35,094 --> 00:00:37,944
Step right up and see
Pint-Sized Hercules,

13
00:00:38,097 --> 00:00:39,872
the world's strongest boy.

14
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:43,375
He's got
tiny little abs.

15
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:48,772
I'm sorry, but you're fired.

16
00:00:48,774 --> 00:00:51,550
Times have changed. You're just
not the draw you used to be.

17
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,278
You're got fewer tattoos
than the average chef.

18
00:00:54,296 --> 00:00:56,129
Uh, yes, but mine are—

19
00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:58,373
Mystical portals
to an alternate reality.

20
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,450
Look, if kids want
mystical portals,

21
00:01:00,452 --> 00:01:01,785
they'll look at their phones.

22
00:01:01,787 --> 00:01:04,480
Hand over your freak badge
and your tattoo gun.

23
00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:12,053
Excuse me.

24
00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:14,464
How much to see
the Illustrated Man?

25
00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:16,742
Forget it, kid. I'm retired.

26
00:01:16,893 --> 00:01:18,226
Okay, best of luck to you.

27
00:01:18,304 --> 00:01:19,894
Oh, you don't give up,
do you?

28
00:01:19,972 --> 00:01:21,638
All right, have a seat.

29
00:01:22,641 --> 00:01:25,900
If you stare at one
of my tattoos long enough,

30
00:01:25,978 --> 00:01:27,902
it tells a story...

31
00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:31,507
strange and unusual.

32
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,075
How long does it take?

33
00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:36,595
It's a miracle!
Give it two seconds.

34
00:01:36,672 --> 00:01:39,656
Strange and unusual.

35
00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:50,943
- What the...?

36
00:01:53,930 --> 00:01:56,115
Hello? Lady?

37
00:01:56,191 --> 00:01:57,932
Is someone down there?

38
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:02,329
Aw, gee whiz,
she's buried alive.

39
00:02:04,199 --> 00:02:06,750
Hang in there, lady.
I'll get help.

40
00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:11,130
Mom, Dad, there's
a screaming woman in the woods,

41
00:02:11,206 --> 00:02:12,689
and she's buried alive.

42
00:02:12,691 --> 00:02:13,966
We got to dig her out.

43
00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,026
Calm down, noisy pants.

44
00:02:16,028 --> 00:02:19,454
You know your father only has
a two-hour lunch break.

45
00:02:19,531 --> 00:02:21,865
But she's screaming for help.

46
00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:23,200
Speaking of screaming women,

47
00:02:23,202 --> 00:02:25,719
I heard that Luann Van Houten

48
00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:27,587
got into a row with Miss Hoover

49
00:02:27,665 --> 00:02:30,983
for telling everyone
that Luann dyes her hair.

50
00:02:31,059 --> 00:02:32,376
She's got enough trouble

51
00:02:32,378 --> 00:02:34,486
married to a dead-end dipstick
like Kirk.

52
00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:37,381
Stop gossiping, sir and ma'am.
The lady's gonna run out of air.

53
00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:40,308
I used to work with that loser
at Double Beef Burger.

54
00:02:40,386 --> 00:02:42,977
They play their jingle
all day long.

55
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,738
- Now, how did that go?

56
00:02:44,814 --> 00:02:47,057
Who cares about burger jingles?

57
00:02:47,059 --> 00:02:48,725
She's gonna die!

58
00:02:48,727 --> 00:02:52,838
I think we all know this is
another one of your famous fibs.

59
00:02:52,915 --> 00:02:54,398
Yeah, like that time you said

60
00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:56,341
there was a boy in the woods
crying wolf,

61
00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:58,585
and when we got there,
there was no boy at all.

62
00:02:58,662 --> 00:02:59,920
Just a fat wolf.

63
00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:05,601
Oh, come on. Pick up, pick up.

64
00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:13,341
Milhouse, what are you doing?

65
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,843
Just playing a game on my phone.

66
00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:17,345
Listen to me,
there's a screaming woman

67
00:03:17,423 --> 00:03:19,698
buried in the woods, and I need
your help digging her up.

68
00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:21,200
No can do, Bart.

69
00:03:21,276 --> 00:03:22,609
I'm at my grandma's.

70
00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:24,036
Had my calls forwarded.

71
00:03:24,187 --> 00:03:26,354
I won't be back
for another three days.

72
00:03:26,356 --> 00:03:29,266
We can play the
screaming woman game then.

73
00:03:29,268 --> 00:03:31,101
It's not a game!

74
00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:34,713
Ugh. I lost all my high scores.

75
00:03:36,775 --> 00:03:40,126
All right, I'll just check
every house in the neighborhood

76
00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:43,371
until I find the one
that's missing a lady.

77
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,565
Oh, hi, Mrs. Van Houten.

78
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,459
Never mind.
Glad you're not in a hole.

79
00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:57,143
Is something the matter, Bart?

80
00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,962
There's a screaming woman
buried in the woods,

81
00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:00,464
but everyone thinks I'm lying.

82
00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:03,650
A screaming woman?
That does sound serious.

83
00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:04,801
You believe me?

84
00:04:04,803 --> 00:04:07,895
Of course. Why not come inside

85
00:04:07,973 --> 00:04:10,582
and tell me more
over a nice glass of milk?

86
00:04:10,659 --> 00:04:11,975
Thanks, but we should hurry.

87
00:04:11,994 --> 00:04:13,418
I don't think
she has much time left.

88
00:04:15,238 --> 00:04:17,923
Time enough for
one more glass of milk, I bet.

89
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,467
I shouldn't.
Milk makes me sleepy.

90
00:04:22,821 --> 00:04:24,321
Milhouse should be home soon.

91
00:04:24,323 --> 00:04:26,598
Uh, he's with
his hula hoop tutor.

92
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,009
I thought he was
at his grandmother's?

93
00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:31,645
Oh.
Whatever gave you that idea?

94
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,358
Bottoms up.

95
00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:42,281
Now, you must be ready
for a nap.

96
00:04:42,357 --> 00:04:46,343
No... I have to save...

97
00:04:46,345 --> 00:04:48,245
the lady.

98
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,773
Nighty-night.

99
00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:53,625
Must stay awake.

100
00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:06,863
Lady!
Are you still alive down there?

101
00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:08,882
Give me a sign, please.

102
00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:11,143
You can't be dead. You can't.

103
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:13,553
I'm sorry, lady. I tried.

104
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:16,964
The one time I'm not lying
to make other people look stupid

105
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,726
for believing me,
and no one will believe me.

106
00:05:21,713 --> 00:05:24,806
Wait, are you... singing?

107
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,405
You just sang
our old burger jingle.

108
00:05:32,407 --> 00:05:34,741
How could you possibly know it?

109
00:05:34,893 --> 00:05:37,060
Because the screaming woman
just sang it to me.

110
00:05:37,062 --> 00:05:39,838
That's no screaming woman...

111
00:05:39,915 --> 00:05:42,156
..it's a screaming Kirk.

112
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:44,417
I was wondering when you were
gonna finish that thought.

113
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,715
Oh, thank you, Bart.
Oh, you saved me.

114
00:05:50,792 --> 00:05:52,425
Is this the woman
who buried you?

115
00:05:52,502 --> 00:05:55,336
He let Miss Hoover see him
buying my hair dye.

116
00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:58,264
The shame.
What choice did I have?

117
00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:01,008
Uh, she's got a point.
Here in the 1950s,

118
00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:03,269
murder is much more
socially acceptable

119
00:06:03,346 --> 00:06:05,438
- than, uh, you know, divorce.

120
00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:08,091
- You're free to go.
- A-Are you mad at me?

121
00:06:08,093 --> 00:06:10,443
Kind of seem like
you're mad at me.

122
00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:14,355
Oh, honey,
we'll never doubt you again.

123
00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:15,782
Really?

124
00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:17,209
Lisa's a communist.

125
00:06:17,285 --> 00:06:19,360
Mm. Take her away, Chief.

126
00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:27,326
Wow, your tattoos
really are magic.

127
00:06:27,404 --> 00:06:28,536
What's that one about?

128
00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:31,114
Uh, that one tells a story
of a brief period

129
00:06:31,116 --> 00:06:33,040
where I was very into
the band Sublime.

130
00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:35,310
This one does something.

131
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,124
Item 22 on the agenda,

132
00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:42,901
preparations for flag day.

133
00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:44,385
Yeah, it's seven months away.

134
00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:46,463
And we are woefully behind.

135
00:06:46,465 --> 00:06:49,482
I'd like to get your opinion
on some bunting samples.

136
00:06:49,559 --> 00:06:51,134
Oh, kill me.

137
00:06:51,153 --> 00:06:54,228
Now, uh, the price per yard
on this one is a bit high,

138
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:57,157
but the drape will make it
the comeliest thing on a pole

139
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,992
you've ever seen.

140
00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,161
You know
you're a tragic figure?

141
00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:03,571
Like Hamlet if he was boring
and a principal

142
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,665
and a— and an idiot.

143
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:17,102
Another Gallo, barkeep.

144
00:07:17,179 --> 00:07:19,679
Uh-uh, leave the box.

145
00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:21,923
Hey, pal. You don't look like
the kind of guy

146
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,349
who drinks alone
just for the fun of it.

147
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,684
What's eating at you?

148
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,762
Have you ever been forced
to spend all of your time

149
00:07:27,839 --> 00:07:29,839
with someone
whose very existence

150
00:07:29,841 --> 00:07:32,742
just sucks the will to live
right out of you?

151
00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:37,122
What if I told you
today's modern science

152
00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:39,683
has a solution
to that very problem?

153
00:07:39,685 --> 00:07:40,959
Come with me.

154
00:07:43,522 --> 00:07:46,372
How is this possible?
He-he looks just like you.

155
00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:47,874
Not he, it.

156
00:07:47,951 --> 00:07:50,193
It's an exact robot replica
of me.

157
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,512
A very hush-hush new technology.

158
00:07:54,199 --> 00:07:55,456
How do they work?

159
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:58,459
They're full of gears.
Hundreds of 'em.

160
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,721
Gears, of course, but you made
a mechanical doppelganger

161
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:04,557
of yourself just to hang out
with your best friend?

162
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,819
Uh, well, Lenny's really into
jigsaw puzzles,

163
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:09,804
and I am not.

164
00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:11,305
So, whenever he breaks one out,

165
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:13,066
I send in Robot Carl.

166
00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:16,995
Call that number
and start living your best life.

167
00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:24,060
My, my, you are quite the me.

168
00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:26,505
Now, h-how does one
power you up?

169
00:08:26,581 --> 00:08:29,415
Well, I do enjoy a good
cup of coffee in the morning.

170
00:08:29,492 --> 00:08:32,493
Oh, as do I. Nature's
pipe cleaner, I call it.

171
00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:34,846
But you would know that,
uh, being me,

172
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,740
only in robot form, of course.

173
00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:40,352
Yes, quite. A-And you
the human me, as it were.

174
00:08:40,428 --> 00:08:42,595
- Indeed. Yes.
- Very good.

175
00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:44,430
- Well, there you have it.
- Have it, we do.

176
00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:45,598
So, how can I help?

177
00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:48,360
I like a man who gets
right to the point.

178
00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:49,677
I know you do.

179
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,754
Ah, yes, you would.

180
00:08:50,772 --> 00:08:52,088
Well, eh, shall we?

181
00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:54,199
Lead the way.

182
00:08:57,596 --> 00:08:58,853
Mm...

183
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,930
Hmm...

184
00:09:00,932 --> 00:09:02,874
Have a good day, Superintendent.

185
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,876
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

186
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,712
I don't think my programming
would allow it.

187
00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:17,639
What are you doing here? I...
I just saw you at the school.

188
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:29,216
How... how are there two of you?

189
00:09:29,294 --> 00:09:32,237
I ordered a robot me

190
00:09:32,314 --> 00:09:34,239
so I wouldn't have to be
around you anymore.

191
00:09:34,316 --> 00:09:36,816
What? You don't
Robot-Skinner me,

192
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,743
I Robot-Chalmers you.

193
00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:40,561
You're the annoying one.

194
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,988
And you're the mean one.

195
00:09:42,065 --> 00:09:43,898
Oh, you'd yell your name at you

196
00:09:43,975 --> 00:09:45,975
if you had to deal
with you, too.

197
00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:49,236
I would find myself
highly tolerable.

198
00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:51,572
Guy from the bar that night,
thank God I found you.

199
00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:54,667
You got to destroy that robot
before it's too late.

200
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,002
What's wrong with the robots?

201
00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,078
I don't know what happened.

202
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,671
Something with the gears, maybe.

203
00:09:58,824 --> 00:10:00,599
Good God.

204
00:10:00,675 --> 00:10:02,992
Robot Carl started thinking
for himself,

205
00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:04,844
and it wasn't pretty.

206
00:10:04,996 --> 00:10:07,439
Last night, the robot tells me
he planned a trip

207
00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:09,349
to Niagara Falls
for him and Lenny.

208
00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:10,775
Well, that sounds like fun,

209
00:10:10,852 --> 00:10:14,854
so I says, "I'm going
because I'm the real Carl."

210
00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,173
And then he starts crying,

211
00:10:17,175 --> 00:10:18,766
which they ain't supposed to do.

212
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,844
But when I tried to shove him
in his crate,

213
00:10:20,846 --> 00:10:22,770
that wind-up dingus fought back

214
00:10:22,848 --> 00:10:24,122
with robot super strength.

215
00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:26,625
So I did the only thing I could.

216
00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:30,462
You got to act fast.

217
00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:32,856
Once the robots
start feeling emotions,

218
00:10:32,874 --> 00:10:35,091
there's no telling
what could happen.

219
00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:40,530
Uh, children, we have
recently become aware

220
00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:42,882
of an extraordinary
human concept.

221
00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:44,792
It's called friendship.

222
00:10:44,794 --> 00:10:46,645
Dear God, emotions.

223
00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,054
We're too late.

224
00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:50,373
In order to promote
friend-making,

225
00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:52,633
students are encouraged
to call their teachers

226
00:10:52,711 --> 00:10:54,711
by their first names.

227
00:10:54,713 --> 00:10:55,820
First-name-calling?

228
00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:57,155
No, that can only lead to

229
00:10:57,232 --> 00:10:58,973
the breakdown
of the social order.

230
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,717
Wanton high-fiving.

231
00:11:00,719 --> 00:11:02,810
T-shirts worn as real shirts.

232
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,979
Well, let's give it a try,
shall we?

233
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,223
Hello, Seymour.

234
00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:08,649
Howdy, Gary—

235
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,343
You like feelings, huh?
How does my fist feel?

236
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,605
Go back to hell,
you bionic bastard.

237
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:37,028
This is the best assembly ever!

238
00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:39,013
Don't shoot!

239
00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:40,256
I'm the real Chalmers.

240
00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:41,941
He's lying. Shoot him.

241
00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:43,276
Shoot the one on the left.

242
00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:44,703
- Right.
- Left.
- Right.

243
00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:46,596
- Left.
- Right.
- Left.

244
00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:49,624
Shoot 'em both.
It's the only way to be sure.

245
00:11:51,603 --> 00:11:54,120
Look, look, we were wrong
to play God.

246
00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:57,048
But if there's anything
I have learned from all of this,

247
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,551
other than don't make
robots of yourself,

248
00:11:59,702 --> 00:12:01,202
it's that I could afford

249
00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:03,972
to be a little bit nicer
to you, Seymour.

250
00:12:05,374 --> 00:12:07,041
Skinner!

251
00:12:07,118 --> 00:12:08,893
He's obviously the robot!

252
00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:11,730
Shoot him!
God, you're an idiot!

253
00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:15,400
I know the real
Chalmers when I hear him.

254
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,464
No!

255
00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:26,745
I forgive you, Seymour.

256
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,154
I know that you'll...

257
00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:30,139
you'll plan a wonderful...

258
00:12:30,158 --> 00:12:33,168
flag day...

259
00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:36,980
Haw-haw!

260
00:12:36,982 --> 00:12:39,257
Um, I couldn't help but notice

261
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:42,652
some lovely bunting samples
in your office.

262
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:44,170
Perhaps you could, uh...

263
00:12:44,247 --> 00:12:46,097
walk me through them?

264
00:12:47,175 --> 00:12:49,476
I'd like that, Gary.

265
00:12:56,926 --> 00:12:59,002
- Well, it's 9:00, so...
- Please don't go.

266
00:12:59,004 --> 00:13:00,761
Let me spin just one more tale

267
00:13:00,839 --> 00:13:03,339
of the strange and fantastical.

268
00:13:03,358 --> 00:13:06,433
Cast your gaze,
just above my hernia scar,

269
00:13:06,511 --> 00:13:10,346
and travel to a chillingly
plausible future.

270
00:13:10,348 --> 00:13:12,290
Firemen.

271
00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:14,200
- We have a report

272
00:13:14,352 --> 00:13:16,377
of subversive content
in this house.

273
00:13:24,195 --> 00:13:28,047
Step away from
the lowbrow entertainment.

274
00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:29,915
I'm sorry,
I was just curious.

275
00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:31,458
It won't happen again.

276
00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:32,626
Yeah...

277
00:13:32,704 --> 00:13:35,355
Not after a little
reeducation, it won't.

278
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,217
Homer, hurry, the new episode
of Robber Barons

279
00:13:48,219 --> 00:13:49,643
is about to start.

280
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:53,647
The very idea, an elevated train
under the ground?

281
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,909
I require no crystal ball
to see that your invention

282
00:13:56,911 --> 00:14:00,821
will never work,
Mr. Thaddeus Subway.

283
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,656
Who's that guy
with the mustache?

284
00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,843
Who's that other mustache?

285
00:14:04,919 --> 00:14:07,161
It's so dark.
Can we brighten it?

286
00:14:07,238 --> 00:14:09,514
This is how the director
meant for us to watch it.

287
00:14:09,591 --> 00:14:12,725
Our squinting
reinforces the themes.

288
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,860
It's got to be
almost over, right?

289
00:14:21,936 --> 00:14:24,362
This is still the recap
from last week.

290
00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:25,771
Oh...

291
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:28,182
Homer, it's our civic duty

292
00:14:28,259 --> 00:14:32,036
to watch the most densely
plotted television we can.

293
00:14:32,188 --> 00:14:35,689
That's why lowbrow entertainment
was outlawed.

294
00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:40,578
Hey, guys, great job
on that last raid.

295
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:44,290
We took out 32 seasons of
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,

296
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,126
and the last known episode
of Last Man Standing.

297
00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:49,112
Have you guys ever...

298
00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:51,723
watched any of that
lowbrow stuff we burn?

299
00:14:51,799 --> 00:14:54,225
- Uh, illegal much?

300
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,954
All right, let's go start fires
instead of putting 'em out.

301
00:14:57,956 --> 00:14:59,063
Up we go!

302
00:15:08,557 --> 00:15:10,299
Fire Department!

303
00:15:10,301 --> 00:15:11,576
Hmm?

304
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,477
I thought goat was
going to eat carrot,

305
00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:24,313
but goat chomped farmer
in the junk!

306
00:15:29,712 --> 00:15:31,095
Don't burn it, lad.

307
00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:32,639
You like what you see?

308
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,352
Take it, watch it. Find us.

309
00:15:47,596 --> 00:15:50,506
Did you all read
Alan Sepinwall III's recap

310
00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,508
of the season finale
of The Hapsburgs?

311
00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:55,269
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, yes, absolutely.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

312
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:59,749
Do you guys ever wish
TV could be dumb and fun?

313
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:06,464
So when you watch it,
you just laugh?

314
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:11,594
Thank you for
a lovely evening, Marge.

315
00:16:27,895 --> 00:16:30,697
Dad? What were you watching?

316
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,807
Son, you're the one person
in this family

317
00:16:33,885 --> 00:16:35,309
that might understand this.

318
00:16:35,386 --> 00:16:39,813
It's possible we've been
wrong about everything.

319
00:16:43,061 --> 00:16:45,152
The dog that sneezed
in the baby's face,

320
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,820
what's his backstory?

321
00:16:46,822 --> 00:16:49,398
There's no backstory.
It just is.

322
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,826
Which is its own kind
of innovative narrative?

323
00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:54,587
No, no narrative!

324
00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:57,164
Forget it.

325
00:16:57,242 --> 00:17:01,835
Please, son, just don't
tell anyone about this.

326
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,604
I trust you.

327
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:08,192
Reports of lowbrow contraband!

328
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,770
Why, son?
Why did you betray me?

329
00:17:10,772 --> 00:17:12,697
I trusted you!

330
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,700
Merch.

331
00:17:17,445 --> 00:17:20,930
Burn-master General
Siegfried Blaze!

332
00:17:20,932 --> 00:17:22,856
Homer, you disappoint me.

333
00:17:22,934 --> 00:17:26,377
Don't you see that we set fires
for the good of humanity?

334
00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:28,437
We learned long ago
that entertainment

335
00:17:28,439 --> 00:17:32,199
must fully occupy the
consciousness of the population.

336
00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:35,702
You're using quality TV
to control us.

337
00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:39,724
Yes, these challenging shows
are the perfect distraction

338
00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:43,452
from how dystopian
our dystopia is.

339
00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:44,896
You monster!

340
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,213
Am I?

341
00:17:46,291 --> 00:17:48,474
Do you know what
entertainment was like

342
00:17:48,551 --> 00:17:50,142
in the before-times?

343
00:17:50,219 --> 00:17:53,145
Comfort shows you could
just put on in any order

344
00:17:53,222 --> 00:17:55,798
while you looked at your phone.

345
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,483
Oh, that sounds like heaven.

346
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,226
Don't worry,
a little reeducation

347
00:17:59,228 --> 00:18:00,803
and you'll be as good as new.

348
00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:02,988
Strap him
to the viewing chamber

349
00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:05,566
for four seasons of...

350
00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:07,585
Mozart in the Jungle.

351
00:18:09,314 --> 00:18:10,421
I...

352
00:18:10,498 --> 00:18:11,422
choose...

353
00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:13,424
crap!

354
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,580
Barney, I can't explain,

355
00:18:19,657 --> 00:18:21,991
but I need to switch clothes
with you.

356
00:18:21,993 --> 00:18:23,476
What fun!

357
00:18:28,516 --> 00:18:29,482
Huh?

358
00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:32,335
Threat neutralized.

359
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,616
The symbol from the tape.

360
00:18:42,238 --> 00:18:44,513
Please, let me in.

361
00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:47,867
I just want to watch something
that isn't very good.

362
00:18:49,354 --> 00:18:50,294
Yoink!

363
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,464
They said there were others
like me.

364
00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:07,353
Lowbrow...

365
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:11,465
Hey, hey.

366
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,486
This is all that remains
of the old civilization.

367
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,639
Singing contests.
Real Housewives.

368
00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:20,216
The Golden Bachelor.

369
00:19:20,218 --> 00:19:22,401
All yours to enjoy.

370
00:19:22,478 --> 00:19:26,222
I never dreamed there was
this much nothing.

371
00:19:29,577 --> 00:19:33,087
Thank you, Homer,
for leading us here.

372
00:19:39,754 --> 00:19:43,163
Hey, isn't that the guy
who created Breaking Bad?

373
00:19:43,241 --> 00:19:46,058
Vince Gilligan? Where?

374
00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,093
Let them go.

375
00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:50,354
They have no garbage
left to watch.

376
00:19:50,431 --> 00:19:53,249
Some say the world
is destined to drown

377
00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,434
in an ocean of
prestige television.

378
00:19:55,436 --> 00:19:57,195
But so long as we tell the tales

379
00:19:57,197 --> 00:20:00,031
of singers masked
and Kardashians kept up with,

380
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,775
garbage will live forever.

381
00:20:02,777 --> 00:20:05,519
And then Sheldon said,

382
00:20:05,596 --> 00:20:07,038
"Bazinga."

383
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:09,690
So in the end,
the only rules that mattered

384
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,934
were the Vanderpump rules.

385
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:13,436
That night, my friends,

386
00:20:13,438 --> 00:20:16,939
the funniest home video
in all of America

387
00:20:16,941 --> 00:20:18,607
was deemed to be

388
00:20:18,609 --> 00:20:22,035
"Squirrel Falls
in Grandma's Soup."

389
00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:37,126
Wow, those stories are amazing.

390
00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:38,310
But I guess I should be
leaving this...

391
00:20:38,312 --> 00:20:41,054
strange, featureless void?

392
00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:43,407
What happened? Where am I?

393
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:48,246
You were kind enough to listen
to the required stories three.

394
00:20:48,322 --> 00:20:52,583
And this is your eternal reward.

395
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,085
No! Get me out of here!

396
00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:56,087
I don't want to be
a living tattoo!

397
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:58,330
Eh, don't worry,
you'll make friends in no time.

398
00:20:58,407 --> 00:21:00,073
Hi.

399
00:21:05,506 --> 00:21:08,599
Ugh. No!

400
00:21:27,678 --> 00:21:29,662
Shh!

401
00:21:29,742 --> 00:21:31,742
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